My boyfriend of 10 months will leave and sometimes not come back all night or be gone for days. He’s always saying he’s working on our other house but when I go there barley any progress is made or he’s just there hanging out with his buddies, drinking. Sometimes I can’t get ahold of him at all. Sometimes he says he just wants to go out and have fun. I’m 8 months pregnant and have two kids already. When we got together I was straight up with him on what I will and will NOT tolerate. Our relationship was amazing at first and now it’s come down to me being home all day and night alone, with no calls or texts. And I’m quite sick of being alone. When he does come home, he gets up early and just leaves without telling me what he’s doing or how long he’s going to be gone, he refuses to fix my vehicle and tells me I need to let him have fun because that just ‘who he is.’ But an invite would be nice every once in a while. I’m talked to him about this calmly and also not so calmly, neither has worked. It’s getting old and exhausting. Especially after I sold my house and moved in the middle of no where in his house. I want to pack my kids and their things and leave so badly but once I think about it, I don’t want to over react. At this point I think I have a right to be mad. Because I don’t want it to be like this when the new baby comes. I don’t have time to worry about where he’s at or what he’s doing because I have kids to take care of.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I overreacting or do I seriously have a reason for being mad?
Hunny first off you are far from overreacting. The fact that your prego and can’t get ahold of him constantly is a huge problem considering anything could happen to you and he wouldn’t know. You need to pack you and the kids up and leave. It’s not worth it,I’ve went thru this. Not saying he’s cheating but that was the reason in my case including him wanting to be immature and party with his friends. He is obviously not ready to be an adult let alone a father. Do what’s best for you and your children, stop stressing over him because it’s not good for you and your pregnancy. You have your kids and unborn baby to worry about, screw him and move on! You will feel so much better I promise, it’ll be hard at first but you know your worth and he isn’t treating you right at all.
Being gone for days sounds like he’s using drugs.
You have every right to be mad. You got to do what’s best for you and you’re kids and if he’s acting that way it seems like he has no respect for you. You have to do what you have to do to keep you and your kids happy.
Think about leaving him well at least for 5 minutes, while you’re thinking, be packing you and those kiddos up. Is this how you want to live the rest of your life? Do you think he will change, probably not, he knows you won’t do anything, so he does what he wants. You and those kids deserve better. You can make it on your own, hard work. But you can do it.
You know the answer. Why are you second guessing yourself? He isn’t interested in you. He’s interested in someone waiting on him physically and emotionally. Pack up and move on to somewhere that you will be respected!
I honestly thought this was one of those viral fake posts that at the end say it was all fake, that’s how unbelievable this is. Get out now. Things only get harder with a baby (which I’m sure you know with other children already). Sending positive vibes your way that you have the strength to break away from that type of person
He’s not ready and sounds like he wants to “quarantine” you from the world. You’re not married to him. Put your kids first. If this is unhealthy for you it’s unhealthy for your children. You’re not overreacting by taking care of your kids 1st.
Leave or have him leave. He’s not being faithful and who knows what else he’s doing. I’ve been there, your just wasting your time with him. You deserve better!
Get out because this self centered ~ ~ ~ is all about himself. Do not stay ! You and your kids definitely deserve better. This boy , because he certainly isn’t a man , will always talk a good talk but never live up to it. God go with you and your kids!!
First off you have a right to be upset. Clearly you love him and worry about him. Not to mention your gonna need to rely on him for support for baby. He needs to become more dependable. If not then you to leave. Its toxic. He needs to grow up.
Sounds like he doesn’t know what you “will and will not” put up with. Pack your stuff, take your kids and leave. You’ve been together 10months, you’re pregnant. If he’s not stepping up now, he never will. The longer you stay, the longer you’re telling him you’re okay with his behavior.
Get. Out. Now. He has no respect. This is literally why I left my husband.
He’s still a boy my husband is 48 and does the same crap your man is doing. I did this for 6 years and I left him 8 months ago and it was the best choice I made for myself and my son. Good luck
Its going to be worse when the new baby arrives. Leave while you still can.
Pack up and move whos to say he isn’t with another woman while he is out having fun,and what is gonna happen when the baby arrives. You need to cut your loses and get out asap.
Guess what… he does it, because you allow it. In the beginning you had limits, boundaries in place. Somewhere you allowed them to be crossed and he is going to continue to do it until you walk out the door. You are not out of line for feeling like this. A man doesn’t up and leave his family for days without word or because he wants to party. Is he in high school?? Take care of you and those kids…there are so many great men out there who don’t do this kind of shit.
I don’t think leaving is an overreaction. You’ve only been together 10 months and already having issues like this? Major red flag. He’s not ready to be a dad and there’s no sense in you feeling lonely as he goes out to play.
What worries me is that you’re saying you moved with him in the middle of no where and he won’t fix your car. Try to see if anyone family or friend can help you get your things or do it when he’s not there and get out. Just be very careful and think about your kids.
Girl i think you should leave and no your not over reacting and u have yhe right to be mad. I think u and your kids deserves better and it sounds like he not ready to be a father he wants to go fo whatever he wants and not care about u at all. Leave girl because your better off.
Absolutely disrespectful. If he treats you that way while you’re pregnant…I can’t. Boy bye.
What is his doing is disrespectful and selfish. There is nothing okay with what he is doing.
You do not deserve this. Especially being pregnant. There is a level of respect that is just not there at all. Sure go out once in a while. I have a feeling if you discuss this with him. He will make it seem like you are overreacting and he is “just who he is” this is not the case. He has choices here and he is clearly not choosing you. It’s not fair to you or the kids. He is being a child.
I think a tough choice should be made here. I’m sorry you are going through this.
I’m sorry to say this, and I hope I’m wrong, but it doesn’t sound like he’s committed to your relationship. And when there’s there’s crying baby in the mix, he will be around even less. You should leave while you still have the money from selling your house.
Girl… You aren’t overreacting at all! You’re pregnant & he can’t even answer his phone?? What if something happened to you or baby ?? Or even one of the other kids & he don’t know cause he didn’t answer. You guys definitely deserve better & he can’t give it to you. You have to focus on YOU & YOUR KIDS. He didn’t change the fist time you asked, he won’t change after the baby is born. Best bet is to leave, it’s easier said than done but trust me it will be so much better in the long run.
Sounds like he’s not ready to have a family! Kinda sounds like my situation - good note. I left. He can now be hisself “whatever that means” I am so much happier without him.
Leave! Pack your kids up and leave (like you said) you’re not over reacting! At all!! You deserve better. He’s disrespectful and that’s putting it nicely! Leave!!!
The fact that you put that much effort & thought into it should tell you that youre not overreacting… it seems like youve seen both sides & still stand your ground & given that youre pregnant & that anything can happen at anytime its a pretty good reason to be worried about inability to connect with him. It sounds like youve tried all you can so if you leave i hope you can feel good about it because its not a decision you made on impulse alone & that is mature & very reasonable. Best wishes mama💕
Definitely be mad but, don’t put up with that. He’s taking advantage of you and he’ll continue to do so. Leave now and get yourself settled before the baby arrives. You’ve got this
Leave with you & your kids ASAP. You are fooling yourself if you think he will change. You’ve been giving him no repercussions for his actions. You deserve way better than that & so do your kids.
If he wanted to have fun he should never of got in a relationship and get you pregnant!!! he’s a family man!! He should be taking you out to have fun. Grab your stuff and move out I wouldn’t be putting up with that behaviour let him have fun he won’t change
Sounds alot like my relationship… I’m getting to the point where I can’t do it anymore. Except I’m the only one working and he doesn’t.
Sounds like hes not man enuff to have a child .plus hes on some sneaky shit .my x was like that .i found he was using heroin id get rid an not waste anymore time .you n ya bbys all the way .he aint happy or he wouldnt be lying an sneaking about like a kid himself
Take your kids and go. He is NOT a man. He is still a boy who apparently is NOT ready for the responsibilities he has committed to.
If you own the other house then sell it. If it’s joint ownership that will be another problem. I don’t know your situation but it’s a 10 month old relationship, you’re 8 months pregnant, 2 kids from a previous relationship and he convinced you to move in and sell your house? He is gone all hours, comes and goes freely, doesn’t help with the kids, household or support you during your pregnancy? That doesn’t sound right. Girl RUN NOW. Pack up and restart your life with your kids. Forget him. Let him come back to an empty house. Don’t give him any clue you’re leaving. You have to be quiet and fast
It’s DEFINATELY TIME TO LEAVE , NO FORWARDING ADDRESS !! CHANGE YOUR PHONE NUMBER, MOVE TO A DIFFERENT STATE IF POSSIBLE ! HE IS A DEFINATE LOOSER. and WILL NOT CHANGE !! Tell. NO ONE of your decision,EXCEPT family, who SHOULD BE ON YOUR SIDE and HELP YOU !? GOD BLESS and GOOD LUCK !! CHURCHES WILL HELP YOU USUALLY
No way to be treated. At all. Leave for all of you. It is absolutely not acceptable or respectful at all.
Get away from him asap!!! He’s either doing drugs, or he just doesn’t care. Either scenario sucks. I left my husband after 24 yrs for starting to do this exact thing. Run, you will be way better off without him!!
That’s not overreacting, you don’t deserve that… being constantly stressed and not knowing… You need to leave especially if he doesn’t see anything wrong with his actions.
I would never put up with that. If you have the means to leave you should. Especially before baby is born. Like you said, you won’t have the time to worry about him and his bs but it’ll be there in the back of your head. It’s not worth it.
Your kids come first and he’s not being a dad at all or husband kick him out and tell him to keep paying your bills if he is …but you got kids and one on the way he’s the one that needs to get out !!
Not overreacting at all…if he’s not there helping that what is he bringing to your marriage?? Nothing hon…pack ur shit n go or better yet pack his n put it on the front lawn
You’re about to be a mother to 3. Focus on yourself & kids. Get rid of him now, he’s showing you the real him.
Pack up and run! Get someone to help
You gather your things and to find a place to go.
Go. Leave. Get out now. He is a boy child. Not a responsible man. He’s not worthy of you, the kids, or that sweet baby you’re carrying.
I’d leave on one of those days when you knew he was gonna be gone a while and not tell him, and don’t say anything when he dies call. Let him come home to a empty house, see how he likes it.
This sounds abusive. You are isolated and have no way to get around (car repair) and you’re home alone all the time and he doesn’t seem to care. I’m so sorry. I hope you find the strength to move on. If he is serious, you can work it out living apart and grow from there. Otherwise- it’s a fresh start for your new baby and your other children to live in a home without stress.
I wouldn’t tolerate ANY of that!he should be there helping and supporting you atleast giving u an explanation when u need or want one!and when he got with u he took on your other kids too he needs to realize that!and def be around to help with his own baby.I think he’s hiding ALOT you don’t know about.if I were you I would of been going thru his phone and following him and all that.go through his google maps history timeline I bet you’ll find out where he’s been going.and it’s fair to say he’s def cheating.it’s def gonna be worse when the baby comes.I’d leave and not even tell him.he does it to you.it doesn’t sound like he wants you and def don’t care about you.I would of drew the line a long time ago.
He is not a man,just a little boy playing house .Get out and take care of your kids you are having a baby soon and you don’t need 2.
You’re not in a relationship, you’re in a relation-shit! Save yourself the heartache and concentrate on your kids mama!
You definitely have some legit concerns here. Like you, I don’t want to over react. However. Some real changes need to be made, so you can be happy, and of course, you want some happy times with friends, and a real help mate to pitch in and BE the good dad who helps care for and enjoy the kids! These kinds of troubles are nothing new; many of us have had a taste of this selfishness from our mate a few times. We are not perfect, either. So, if he can recognize his need to step up and do much better, it could still work. Maybe you could agree to let him see the friends once a month? But are these friends going to get him into any serious trouble? Counseling may help focus him and you on solutions, rather than only cocombines. If he won’t go, you should . Best of luck to you.
If you feel alone when you are with someone, you might as well be alone
Sounds like you’re already tolerating it if you’re on here asking what you already know the answer to.
Girl, you should have been packing his shit instead of writing this post! Make his ass leave. Bye. Period. No ma’am. Nobody deserves that.
He sounds selfish af tell him to go out and dont come back unless he grows up
Run. It won’t change once the baby comes… I learned the hard way…
100% pack your stuff and leave with your kids he clearly don’t care!
In my honest opinion if it’s like that now, it probably won’t get any better after the fact.
Honestly you should pack your stuff & leave if you do have somewhere to go & it can be for the meantime so that you can at least scare him.
Don’t make yourself suffer any longer. He had shown you what his priorities are.
That sounds very suspicious… Leaves for days sometimes? Can’t get ahold of him at 8 months pregnant? You could give birth to his child at any point now…
I’d definitely sit his ass down asap and really give it to him and if nothing changes back those kids up and go. No need for half ass relationship, especially with kids!
Get up and leave without letting him know for a few days. Let him see how being treated in kind feels like.
I would definitely pack up my babies and go
I dealt with that. He was cheating. I left but it took 2 years after our son was born
Lots of red flags, run! And don’t look back!
Couple red flags here…
Respect yourself, take care of your babies and go! You are not overreacting!!!
U need to leave. Its only gunna get worse girl.
You know the answer. Leave now so you’re established when baby comes. AND DON’T FEEL BAD ABOUT LEAVING.
First you told him now you have been showing him. Hope you make healthy decision for you and your babies
Um bye ! Ur alone already why u need him ? Dont tolerate fuckeryyyy girl bye !
NO! Be absolutely done!
Run fast, run far!!! Not worth it!
Remember what you told him you would and won’t tolerate and base your decision on that
Get out now before the baby gets there
Get out n don’t look back
I would have left already!
Sounds like he is still a child himself
Sounds like you’re a side chick
Give us a update please on what u choose to do.
red flags all over
Pack the shit up and leave, he won’t change.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that. First time he left and didn’t come home and didn’t text or call I’d have been out.
All I can say is that eventually things will come to an end sounds like he will never grow up, my ex did the same and ended up with a teenager and got her knocked up, our child is coming up 7 and he hasn’t seen his son for 4 years. Just think of ur kids.
Get out of that relationship as fast as you can. He is using you and it’s not gonna change. I hope you still have all of the money you got from the sale of your house, you’re going to need it to hire a lawyer to force him to pay child support.
Leave him he not grow up yet.
Watch what people do not what they say Margaret West
Drop it like it’s hot!!!
Girl! Bounce with you and your babes! You deserve better! And so do your babes
He is a child! And you already have 2 kids and 1 on the way, you don’t need or have time to be caring for anymore children. Especially one who is supposed to be your partner in raising those babies! He’s immature, definitely inconsiderate, has clearly never grown up. Take what money you have and get out! Do it before you have that baby! Do it today if you can.
Good example of more of the same that’s coming. He sounds immature if he still wants his time and freedom all to himself. Cut and run.
It sounds like he feels that he’s in a situationship.
Get out. You’re going to grow so resentful of this man. He’s just here because he feels obligated to be.
You’re worth so much more than an obligation.
Call your folks to come get you. Stay with them until you get on your feet. He’s a loser. You’d be right not to bring a newborn into this situation.
You can do so much better than that loser. Pack up your things along with the kids and start a new life without him. When you leave don’t look back. He’s a child and doesn’t care about things. I wouldn’t trust him either because God knows what or who he’s doing. Make things about you and the kids and nothing more.
You’re already a single parent love make it official
Leave. And before the baby comes. That’s no good I e been in the same situation before. Very toxic and a good way to land yourself into depression.
Kick his sorry behind to the curb, and make him work his nuts off to pay for those babies
He’s either very immature, an addict or has another GF/relationship. Get out now
Kick him to kirb and move on he’s taking the piss out of you
Leave him !! Separate . That’s all . He will go begging you .