Not wrong at all. He’s being dishonest and hiding things from you or he wouldn’t be so defensive. No excuse for it.
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Girl you already know.
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It’s not even worth fighting. You have a little one and needs you. It’s just best to walk away. Ik it’s easier said then done. I’ve been there. It’s like you have this gut feeling and it ends up being true. I would want to rip both their heads off but you have to remember your little one. Hey there is always someone out there that will appreciate you.
He’s just the “chosen” one right now. Once she gets him…hook, line, and sinker…he’s just another in her book. I wouldn’t approach her at all. Neither of them are worth your breath. Your gut is telling you already what the deal is. Put some Nair in his shampoo and leave. NO man is worth the headache.
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Trust yourself and your intuition. If he waited a few days to let you scroll, it meant he needed time to edit.
If he had nothing to hide, and it was all strictly business, he never would have lied about any of it.
She may be a home wrecker, but remember he is the one responsible for his relationship, not her. This is on him.
He can man up and be straight with you. Then you can decide how to proceed.
Sounds like you got an unfaithful on your hands. I’m sorry that happened to you. I’d be ending the "you can’t look through my phone’ rule. You have the right at this point! If he hasn’t gotten rid of the evidence, yet, that is…
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Ive found that doing unto them like they do us works wonders
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Confront face to face with your feelings. Tell him you are leaving with the little one if he doesn’t get a new phone number and delete her’s. If it really is just a work thing he’ll do as you ask. If not then leave. He’s already ruining your trust in him.
Kinda sounds like the movie Obsessed with Beyoncé. Trust your gut and get out when you can
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If my husband had Another WOMAN in his phone, let alone in a bikini. Boiiiii she could have him. I don’t play that 
. Throw him away and thank your blessings y’all aren’t married.
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He is definitely doing some shady shit gas lighting you. Telling you he didn’t want you to read those messages until a few days later after he had already went through and deleted what he could. Been there done that. Don’t waste anymore of your precious time.
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I will never understand why people in relationships feel like they need to forbid the other from doing something. They should already respect you enough that you trust them to protect your relationship above all else. And if there isn’t that trust, there is no relationship.
If that was my husband some town bike was zoning in on I woudnt say anything more to him I would go straight to her and put her in her place plus I would also report her behaviour to the hr department …
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Girl, pack and leave.
He can’t respect you not being ok with it and doing a simple thing as to not talk to her unless it’s work and only work related then. He don’t deserve your time. Actions speak louder than words. Just leave.
The one the cheater is with doesn’t implode the marriage, the cheater does. The one your with made the commitment to you, not the one they cheated with. If you’re having doubts about your man then you need to discuss it further with him. Marriage counseling if it’s that bad
Go to HR there is definitely some stuff being violated here, especially let them know her photos are being shared around the company in a sexual manner. She is definitely a guilty party seeking attention from married men though, get her number and have a talk with her and let her know you’ve heard if her reputation and are not comfortable with her constant messages with your husband. Block her number from phones etc unless she is a manager there is zero reason for her to know if or when your husband is showing up to work etc.
Get rid of him… he’s already been lying to you and I guarantee he’s been lying AND hiding so much more… there is no reason for them both to have each other’s personal phone numbers. If he is going to put himself in danger of losing his family over a hoe, kick him to the curb. You don’t need any of us to tell you what you need to do. You already know, straight up
You have every right to be mad at him no biz texting him for a wake up call and blah blah blah what so ever I’d slap a hoe and my boyfriend then I’d tell him to tell her to beat it and if he doesn’t and u find out something else tell him to beat it his loss
There are a few saying go to her I mean to a point sure make it known your who he’s with but it’s mainly with your man. Cause no matter how hard a woman tries if your man only wants you he won’t give her the time of day. I don’t mind friends but there’s friends then there’s too friendly but knowing she’s just a whore (yup I said it) I think you were right in telling him like ummm nope that’s not ok. I think that you should tell him one last time very clearly this isn’t ok you talking to her this much and her being at or around our home is not ok and stand your ground! I told my man right off rip day we decided to be together if there’s any other woman your even thinking about just tell me and I’ll leave. Clearly I mean in a romantic or sexual way. I don’t play this well I like her but I love you bs like nahh none of that bull nonsense for me. If there’s another woman on your mind at all it’s time for me to go. To be fair I’ve been cheated on too much for me to tolerate the want to talk to another woman in that way.
Throw those last words at him. Ask him how he would feel if the texts were to you from a guy whore at work. If he says he would not flip out, GET OUT. HE BE LIEING.
He fucking that hoe. Or he bout too!! Leave … & Him not letting you scroll through his phone. Talking bout you were too mad. Just gave him time to delete shit he didn’t want you to see.
How do I write a question?
You and your child deserve commitment and respect… sorry but he needs his walking ticket…cheater😡
Sounds like they fooling around
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Something is going on
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If you don’t have nothing nice to say don’t say it…I hate bullies…
Send him on his way…Trust your gut
This is so difficult but your not overreacting your partner knew fron the beginning that this would be something that would cause upset to you and he has chosen to do it regardless, I’ve been through this and much more me and my ex have been apart 2 years and i saw everything (he left a phone here that was logged into all his account ect) it proved all that i thought was infact true but still even knowing i know this he wont admit the truth
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I never comment on anything but keep your feelings guarded I just went through the same thing, and they are together now. Know your self worth. And see through the lies
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Well sweetie, you said it all in your story…Now take notice of your gut instinct and pack his bags…or yours …You will never trust that man again…If he was genuine he would be more convincing…Time to be real tough with yourself think about your child & your sanity… pull up your big girl pants…You can do this!
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You are absolutely right! Same thing happened to me end of 2017 , the company bicycle got my ex husband after they texted for weeks and him working overtime ( sarcasm off) he told me 2 days after 4 .anniversary he would leave and I knew exactly why but he didn’t admit. 2 years later he told me all the truth when he was on the ground. You should kick him out and make him pay . Every company has a “ bicycle “. When the trust is gone it’s over.
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Three year I had the same problem and then. One evening I seen a message from her to him ( she’d only left her husband 3 days before) asking for sex I told my ex to go ahead any way long story short he told me that I was wrong in the head I was making it all up one day many many MTHS later I got in from work and he told me we was over and three days later he was living with her pays shxt child support payment and living the dream apparently but he only
Has one of out children once
A week ( his choice) I wish I’d off trusted my gut instinct do what’s best for you hope you’re ok and stay safe x
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I feel like most people know the answer before posting on here, and just want some validation that they are making the right decision.
This is no different. Trust your instincts. I really feel for you and I am so sorry you are going through this.
Trust is a very difficult thing to get back once it’s been broken. I absolutely do not think you are overreacting.
Honestly, if he didn’t let you read the texts for a few days, he most likely deleted what he didn’t want you to see. If he had nothing to hide, he would have let you read them right away to put your mind at ease.
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Girl…I know its hard. Especially with a kid but you already know whats going on. Now you have to decide what you want to do about it
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Married for 14 years here… my husband gives me full access to his phone anytime… I know his password and can access his phone at any time. He does not message any females without adding me to the chat out of respect for me and to avoid any rumors of impropriety… if you cannot trust the one you’re with… they’re not the one darling. Run. And never look back. <3 I’m here if you need someone to talk to with zero judgement.
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Trust is a big thing, if you have lost trust for your long term boyfriend then that’s something that needs to be addressed. Theres a reason for that! Always trust your gut feeling! I’m not the person to say “omg! Leave his ass!” Because if I was in the same situation I would be as confused as you.
I’ve been married to my man for 9 years now, there are no secrets, no texts between anyone we don’t talk about… after 3 kids you need to find something to talk about lol. If he is talking to a female other than me there’s a reason behind it!..
If I asked to see messages there would be no argument or days gone by… he would simply hand over his phone as would I. The fact that he waited days for you to see the messages worries me. This is your relationship, no one knows your relationship like you do. If you feel something is wrong than most likely it is. You can message me anytime you want! I’m here for you! Us girls have to stick together!! 
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Respect is key! Like you say, if he loved the mother of his child, he’d ignore this woman. I feel for her, she needs to give an ultimatum. Personally I think she’s been very patient!
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Love is unconditional and trust is part of it. If you love him you must trust him unless you have proof of wrong doing. Communication is key to resolve any problem so be honest and let him know how you feel about it and that you don’t approve of this friendship. You and only you know the truth therefore trust your self and make a decision. GOOD LUCK 
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Move on now! If he can’t respect you and goes and acts like he is in something is going on . If you feel like you can’t trust him then you answered your own question. Time to go. Good luck and God bless.
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Go into his phone and change your contact name to her name and block her number then text him acting like her and ask if he wants to hook up and see what he says
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Don’t let him gaslight you about this girl. Or how he really feels about her. Even if nothing physical has happened, emotionally, he’s already gone. My own experience was exactly this. Make a plan for yourself and your child, don’t look back. He will do this again.
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Just my opinion but if he knew that she was that type of woman than he wouldn’t of befriended her in the first place. He obviously doesn’t respect your relationship.
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Sounds like he’s up to no good. Some men have little egos and the first heifer that gives them one ounce of attention can throw them off. If you decide to leave him, don’t tell him. Plan your departure strategically. We women talk too much. Telling the man everything that we’re planning on doing. Just do it. No one tells the enemy in a battle what time they plan on attacking.
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Yup they have a relationship in the making. A bikini picture 
couldn’t make it more obvious. Cheating with this technological age yeah he’s already doing it, having personal conversations with someone who’s not his partner yeah cheating. Look make very clear that you’re losing trust in him due to the lack of communication. Is he still happy with your relationship going forward or does he need a side fling because he has gotten comfortable with you and his family that’s it’s boring 
communicate and if he refuses what more of an answer so you really need, his actions are verbalizing everything you need to know.
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I had the same thing happen to me when my son was little and since I couldn’t trust him also was abusive told me I was crazy the usual bs a liar does. Long story short we broke up and a few months later he got her pregnant. Trust your intuition girl.
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Well from experience when we think our man is cheating we are usually right he knew what she was like before he got friendly with her and that is disrespectful for her to drive by and blow the horn.you need to leave or kick him out you deserve better
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I don’t know him and can’t see his heart. I can tell you though, that my husband goes overboard to make sure I am never suspicious. I’m not even a jealous person because it’s such an ugly emotion. I trust my husband, but he’s never given me the least little reason not to either. In a word, RUN.
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… and please change your wording - even if it is just for your little one … those little beings do NOT deserve to suffer from immature grownups who fail parenting.
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He is already cheating. He took the bait he’s in her trap. Don’t waste anymore time. Love yourself and move on it’s hard but so worth it.
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Yeah you’ve every right to be pissed. I’d do some more digging maybe to her and go from there but you’re right if you can’t trust him then what’s the point
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He wouldn’t let you read the texts but then a few days later said he would… plenty of time to delete any inappropriate messages… red flags for sure!!
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The fact he has even made a friendship with this girl knowing she is a homewrecker would be red flags to me!
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It’s time to stop wasting your time with someone that has no respect for you. Plan your exit now. Get out asap.
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I’d confront her. If he doesn’t like that - Let him have the gutter, and you take the high road. If he wants his slag, let him have her. She’ll be done with him when the next best thing catches her eye and he’ll be a sorry sonofabitch. Been there, done that. There’s nothing wrong with having work acquaintances and polite chit chat but there’s a line. They’ve both well crossed it.
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Leave!!! HE IS CHEATING!!! I WASTED 25 YRS AND FINALLY DONT HAVE TO HURT !!! WITH HIS LIES!!! NEVER EVER .JUST WISH I WOULDNT HAVE ‘WASTED MY 30’S’ LEAVE!!! HURRY.LIFE IS SHORT😭SO SHORT
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The fact that he wouldn’t let you read the messages tells you all you need to know. Definitely wants/wanted to delete the bad ones.
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You can’t control who your partner talks to. If you don’t trust him like you said you have your answer but I think maybe you’re reacting harsher to the situation because of the back story. I wouldn’t let my partner scroll through texts to my mother tbh you’re invading privacy there
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I think you answered your own question by everything that you said… reread what you said and you’ll find your answer
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He’s fng her…there’s no doubt about it…ladies when he’s bagging out another woman…you know it’s because she’s stimulating him in some way. He makes his own choices as do we females. Let him go. Let him have this girl of no substance. Stand tall woman. Fk yes it hurts…diseases hurt more🥰
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If it was me, I’d go directly to her and find out what was happening… If anything was happening I’d leave his arse… If not I’d ask her to keep to herself and let you guys live your own lives
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Honestly my ex talked SO BAD about his female co worker. Called her easy, and every name in the book. Even used that bicycle reference.
Yet still talked to her. And dated her.
This is giving me those vibes.
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He shouldn’t be texting or answering texts back from any female,it’s just wrong.
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Tell him the possibility of you leaving and that you are losing trust in him. And ask if the tables were turned how he would feel. Then talk calmly. You dont get anywhere screaming and cussing. Communication is key. Then go from there.
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Sorry your going through this and trust me , I know you really don’t want to believe what’s in front of your eyes - but all these ladies here are right, LEAVE his lying ass!! He’s playing you for a fool . You deserve so much more respect . Of course he’ll manipulate the situation to make out your crazy - they all do it when they’re busted !!
Get out asap x
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He very likely has found friendship in a unlikely place, he is just sharing with you his work drama. Sounds like you may be over reacting. What you really need to be worrying about is how he is acting towards you and your child. Does he seem distant? Has he cheated on you before? Was he a player before you got with him?
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I’m going to echo some people and say if he respected you knowing and telling you what kind of person she was and made “friends” anyway speaks volumes. The fact they are sending pictures especially of your child. Hell no.
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When a significant other is doing something that makes the other person feel upset or uneasy, then he needs to stop doing it period! He knows his “relationship” with this woman is making you feel insecure and upset and is continuing to text and receive texts from her and defends her, not you. That in itself is a huge red flag! You should ALWAYS be his #1 priority! The fact that he won’t let you see his text messages says it all! Don’t let anyone treat you that way!
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You shouldn’t be comfortable with him being so friendly. Start putting the blame on him his the one who is not respecting you and if HE is not than you need to take whatever action works best for you.
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Pack your stuff and go, I went thru a similar situation. only to get message from a woman my ex fiancee was sleeping with her husband. She sent screen shots of emails etc. Run as soon as you can.
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That fact that he let you know about her in such detail is proof enough that he doesn’t have any intentions to cheat. He probably figured that you would find this tea/drama entertaining.
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The only reason I wouldn’t want my wife to see my messages is if I was doing something inappropriate. My phone is available to look at any time she wants and same for me . I would not trust someone doing the things he’s doing and making you sound like the crazy one.
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Girl…I’d be already gone with that crap happening oof sorry this is going on! I hope you figure out the best for yourself.
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She is testing boundaries, and I he is enjoying the attention. I would ask him, for the sake of your relationship, to cut it out. Ask him, if tables were turned, would he be comfortable with some dude acting like this with you? And you responding to it, the way he does with her?
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Trust is a thing you have in a relationship in the beginning and should go to the end. Loosing that trust takes a long time to get back, now saying that, trust him until you see different. There is no papers only a child and think of the child. The more you goat him, the more he will go to her, because if he loved you he will not hurt you because it hurts him. Don’t trust her, trust him.
I mean i totally get being upset i would be too but at the same this says u dont trust him and u may have reason not too but honestly u cant make anyone stay or be faithful to u. If he wants to hes gonna do somrthing about it and if u find out he has my advice would be to leave but of course that is easier said than done
I wouldn’t know what to do either & be pretty concerned as well… i’m just sorry youre going through this
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He knows she a home wrecker so ud avoid making friendships with someone like that. Uve got every right to feel the way u do knowing what she’s like. And if he’s nothing to hide then he should just show u the messages that he won’t let u scroll through
If you guys were married I might have a different answer but I say throw him out and say see ya! If he was really committed to his family you would have ring and date
Some men just enjoying playing in with dirt he knows who she is n he still entertaining her he must like her gal move on cz sooner or later they will sex each other up u deserve a man not a boy who does not respect u there’s no love without trust let him go.
Be honest about your feeling to him, tell him that she and you Boyfriend already succeeded to have mistrust for one another! Tell him this uncomfy situation is ending now!!! Find a solution like who leaves the home e.c.t
Only if he’s working with the CIA if FBI then don’t ask too many questions but this sounds like you need to go see your family who definitely cares about u. Especially momma n daddy. +plus. Go away from this agagthy and be at peace my sister. I’m way over 50 and too much is probably the truth of how your feeling so be strong be big and be encouraging and ask God for the right words and walk away in peace and if he if any way cares he’ll appreciate a strong woman but don’t go back or say much until he realizes how worthy I are. I promise if he doesn’t then thank the Lord you finally know he isn’t the right one. But still forgive ok ???
A man cannot have a woman friend because men thinks with the bottom half.then the top half
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ALWAYS, ALWAYS, TRUST YOUR GUT! I knew every time my man stepped out (it’s been a few times). I’m a very decent LADY and very cognizant of any relationship and changes therein.
Communication has always been important to me and I will ask questions when I feel a change.
Long story short, when you feel something brewing (if you are attuned to your man, you’ll know), try to talk to him about it, as long as you can deal with it, BUT start preparing to make your move. Don’t waste too much time. It’s stressful and nobody needs that head or heart ache.
One time, it took me a good year to purchase everything I was gonna need (he can have whatever we accumulated together, I don’t wanna hear nothing about me taking nothing), put it in storage, started looking for a job out of the state and when I was through talking and hurting, with a new job, I was gone, very comfortable and stress-free.
DON’T PLAY!
I feel like he thinks he’s putting up boundaries with her especially if nothing physical is happening , but lines were crossed if you ask me.
If you want to find a real man, go to church. Do life the way God meant for you to. You messed up by living with him and having his child out if wedlock. Do it God’s way. It’s the best way in the long run.
Let it simmer down. In a couple of weeks, if you need “irrefutable proof” log into your wireless carrier and view all messages, pics and calls online. Then…pick up your bags that you packed prior to doing this and close the door behind you. Good luck. 
You are not wrong. He needs to go. I have been there, done that with an ex and he was doing everything I thought he was. Do not let him keep this up
So sorry. Yes unless you boy friend chooses to put you and your family with him first you will have to leave. Please prepare yourself financially and have that very serious conversation. Get marriage counseling If he refuses to put you and your family first you have to leave. Life is too short for you to live with someone you cannot trust
Also its the men going with her that have broken a commitment, not her, get it straight.
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Given the opportunity, too many men will cheat if they think they can get away with it. I’ve worked with guys who, in conversation, admitted they cheated and their wives had no idea. The fact that they’ve been together so long, have a kid, and she’s still just his girlfriend, says a whole lot.
Tell him he has to change jobs and cut all contact with her! Then see what happens first before breaking up your family
Sound like he was deleting the totes before u could read them, there’s no need for a bikini pic in his phone, if he didn’t ask for it he should of deleted it. I’m sorry to say this but all sounds abit suss to me. I hope I’m wrong but yeah if it was me, I wound be believe his story x
He could quite easily have shut her down and kept it to work stuff, but apparently he hasn’t. I would guess that the attention stoked his ego.
You have to either walk or put up with it
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Don’t let him gaslight you and make you feel crazy because else would feel the same way.
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What’s another thing you have to consider when there’s no ring there’s no commitment to a marriage outside of a child. He can leave anytime he wants you’ll have to pay the price but. I just think that when you put a ring on your woman’s finger that means a whole lot more than just living together just saying.
Leave him behind. She will worm her way into bed with him , then let you know. They call them the black widow. I know someone who Wrecked every man’s marriage she came across.
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Red flags red flags red flags!!! So many wrongs and no rights here. Girl if you know deep down something ain’t right then something ain’t right….
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The focus of your attention should be on your partner who is clearly lying to you and possibly cheating on you and uses sexist and derogatory language against other women to encourage you to blame them for his behaviour. Don’t ignore these glaring red flags, and please stop calling women who enjoy sex, bicycles, that’s misogynistic and outdated nonsense.
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