I agree with most of the comments saying he is gaslighting you.
Are you willing to be cheated on? What do you consider cheating? I consider sexting as cheating, he is obviously flirty, and less emotional responsive with you. Why waste your time and emotional pain waiting for him to grow up and be a man? You said he wouldn’t be ok with the same treatment.
Kick him out or take your child and move out. You’ll have a better life with someone who respects you and that you can trust, because this guy… has definitely broken what ever you had.
My ex had a picture of a girl from my school on his computer, apparently he saved it because he wanted me to get the same hair cut… turns out he was trying to get with her and was jerking off to her picture… then a guy friend he was going to the movies with turned out to be a girl he was sleeping with…
I’m sorry but it sounds like they are more then work ‘friends’
Too many red flags all the guys she has been with ruined their own marriages because they gave her the chance to do so 
will never understand how guys like these type of women
Would you act that way about or with someone you wouldn’t interested in. So even if he is not. She is. He needs to address it.
Why don’t you approach her, tell her to back off, call her on it, if he gets defensive then call him on it too I front of her, at least you won’t be doing it behind their backs, ask them both straight out.
China has plenty of such females. And one time I read online on what was the best response. But you dont have legalised prostituition in your area so you might feel different. Apparently. Its common in China or the chinese, for the female partner to be controlling the finances. So the concept is that, he is free to sleep around. Heck, its free sex, as long as he uses Condoms and do not bring back the STDs or the babies. Let him go ahead and do the rides. Heck, the rest of the boys did the rides. Why limit him? the more he gets the idea that all those free rides are Free. He will be eventually lose the feeling how exclusive it is and taking it for granted. In the meantime. Take the monies and go upgrade yourself. Pamper yourself and make yourself the kind that people wants you. Not taking you for granted and using you as an excuse for his frolicking.
If you could hold your shit together rather than exploding perhaps your man wouldn’t be tempted or even feel the need to hide these little things from you. Chill out
She has a bad reputation, she knows where you live, your husband has a picture of her in a bikini. Come on. That’s Red…flag…city. I’d be doing some detective work for sure and making him change his number. She has no reason to have it at all.
Get mad at your SO - THEY’RE the one stepping out - not the single woman. Yeah, she’s a cuckhold, but he’s willingly particpating.
DUMP HIM.
If he’ll do it once, he’ll do it again.
DUMP HIM.
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Why should you leave? Throw him out, & get child support from him.
He wants his cake, etc, etc … & is playing both of you. Let him go to her & you get someone who respects you
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He was mind conditioning you the 1st time he told you abt her being a homewrecker so you wouldn’t suspect…
If he’s not letting you read texts, he’s cheating. Leave & never look back. He KNEW the type of person she was and still decided to befriend her.
You said he was your BF. Friends don’t have babies together so your situation is strange to begin with.
This is an unhealthy relationship, don’t rely on him , your not married yet
If he has nothing to hide then why not let her read the rest of the texts!?!
Lol there is no such thing as a home wrecker, the home was already wrecked. She didn’t ruin a marriage that wasn’t already, no-one can wreck a happy home
If nothing is going on he would let you read the texts why hide them.
Emotional cheating is the same a physical cheating. I’d say get out of there…
Her man is definitely banging Susan.
You’re absolutely right to feel what you feel and have your suspicions how stupid do they think people are
He cheating and something not right. Trust you instincts. He to defensive about the situation. He hiding something
If you trust him implicitly, who he talks too wouldn’t be an issue. If there’s no trust, there’s no relationship.
Why would he send pics of his kid?! Red flags all over the place
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He’s gaslighting you. That’s not acceptable at all. Sounds like a narcissist.
I would start by saying that yes by everything you wrote and communicated to us, if this is 100% of the story, then obviously he’s a douchebag. But I guess the question would come to mind, how did he get to be a douchebag? It takes two people to make a relationship work, not just one remaining faithful. Obviously something was lacking in your relationship with him that caused him to seek out affection and or sex with a different person? Unless you want to end up in failing relationships over and over, you have to determine what part that you played in this as well? Right now it’s too late for this relationship, it was screwed the first time that he decided to have communication with this loose lady. What led up to him having a need and what was lacking in the relationship? I know it’s easy for all the females on here to throw him under the bus? I know I will get bashed for this, but it takes two people to make a relationship and it takes two people to reck a relationship. If everything was all hunky-dory at home, he would not have the energy or the stamina to seek affection in different areas other than inside the marriage. Obviously that was not the case. It took two people to bring it to this point though and if you want to ever be able to be in a relationship that works, you have to admit your part in this happening in the first place? Obviously you weren’t happy before this happened and obviously he was not happy and this series of events were just the closing of the story and not the beginning of the story!
Sounds like your marriage should come to and end
Yeah you lost me at having a photo of her in a Bikini… Ciao boy!
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I would try to take her down through the proper superiority channels at work… report her to anyone you can. hire a private investigator… you could confront her if you have the proof to accuse her to her face, but women like that usually can’t be convinced that what they’re doing is wrong. It’s like a game for them to get the attention of married men who are “off-limits.” His behavior already alludes to bad intentions on his part. If he doesn’t put his foot down then I would say put your foot down. If he wants to keep his family in tact then he needs to stand up for your rights and nip that woman n the bud.
If my man does not want me and he’s interested in another woman, I don’t want him!
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Girl, trust your instincts.
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Dear Nameless,
You know what you have to do.
My 12 year old niece was staying the night at my place while her mom and dad had to take her sister to the hospital. Before bedtime, I get a knock on my door. She tells me that she saw something in the sink drain—a toothbrush. She didn’t know how it got there and she just wanted to let me know. I told her it was alright and that I’d fix it tomorrow morning.
The next day, I got the toothbrush out. It was hers.
Your boyfriend telling you about the “Susan” is the same thing, Sugar. He wanted to tell you it was there without actually admitting to how it got there. He was admitting out of guilt because his mind was already there.
I hope you find the courage you need to do what you know you NEED to do. Good luck.
If he doesn’t let you read the messages that’s all you need to know. Been there done that.
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A home can only be wrecked if someone opens the door. Remind him to lock it or use it to leave 
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Go to his office and speak to the office bike tell her to keep away!
If you have a gut feeling he is doing wrong, don’t ignore it
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Do me a favor. Love yourself and walk away 
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Hunny he’s definitely cheating i wouldn’t even try to dig deeper because your gonna start finding stuff and its gonna hurt i would run for the hills as fast as you can don’t even let him hurt you like that he already has put doubt in your head and in your stomach plus saying your overreacting is the biggest thing a cheater says speaking from experience its happened to me
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Let’s you have his phone after a few days to look at messages yeah he’s had a couple days to delete loads then
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Boy, I’m glad my baby and I have complete trust and can agree to let each other have physical leeway with other people…this obsessive emotional attachment to physical love is so irrational…
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Trust yr gut instinct …talk to her if you need to but she will probably lie to you I went through this with a ex and he would talk shit about her but was sleeping with her the whole time …I asked her she denied it till I threw him out and he moving with her …girl he won’t let you read his texts that’s a bright red flag . It took me 6 months to figure mine out wish I knew sooner …
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Point blank, he’s cheating && “Susan” IS the other woman 
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Oh honey he is fucking her…you are not wrong at all
Id say hes cheating or close to it. Sometimes a disloyal person will mention their interest in passing conversation.
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A woman cannot control a man. (Telling him who he can and cannot talk to is ridiculous ). Instead, control yourself. Search inside to figure out if a man like this is what you really want. All your answers are inside yourself. It may take awhile but you will figure it out. Let me remind you that life is very short. You don’t even realize it until you’re old ! Everyone deserves to be happy and loved. Choose wisely and the very best of luck to you.
Dump his sorry ass, don’t waste your life being second. Once the trust is gone it’s over
A real man, puts his family first!
This happened to me last year and she was cheating. If your guy tells you it’s wrong you follow it to the t. Just my opinion. I hate to say it but if say more has went on. I found out the hard way
That is so bad, sorry you have to go through this.
I would not have a baby with a guy Im not married to. For some reason a ring is a boundary everyone understands. Youd think it would be a baby but apparently not. F grade to all. He needs to grow the heㄴㄴ up.
Hmm! They are already doing the deed right in front of your eyes
Pack your bags and leave! You don’t deserve to bet treated like! Woman DON’T NEED A MAN!!
He’s cheating on you with her. He gave himself away when he told you about her… They always tell on themselves.
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You have answered all your own questions in your post!
Aw honey they’re fucking, run.
No trust. No relationship. Move on.
If he has to lie there’s something going on.
Too long …got as far as Am l …
Its not HER fault tho REALLY its his
A few days later, yeah, after he had time to delete the bad texts.
This seems very toxic tbh
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He’s definitely cheating…lol…and you’re in denial.
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Red flag.tell him to cut clear from her or leave him.
Yeah, fuck all that. You’re not overreacting or ‘crazy’ or anything. That’s sus as fuck
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Ask him to leave why is it you to leave
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Girl he’s hiding something for sure! Forget him and run when you can
number one…you are not married to him…so now you need to get some legal advice…for he can pick up and leave…you need to get a court to declare him father so he will have to pay child support…for this bio dad will be gone and off to the next girl friend…(without that Marriage Certificate ) you do not have much of a chance here…so suggest you do not delay…and this is a warning to all of you out there that has a partner…with no marriage…find out your rights…(they are not many)…and when there is a child involved now you have to find out what your child’s rights are…and get that in place…because you are not in line for much else…He will be the butterfly flitting from flower to flower…so beware…
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You can trust your gut feelings on this! Tell him you’d like to meet her if it’s so innocent and see how he reacts! He knew she was a homewrecker and fell for it! I once worked with someone and it was a similar situation, but we all worked together ! He then started cheating on his wife to the point that he’d have her in his bed while his wife was at work and their little child told her mom! And the slut’s boyfriend( who didn’t work with us) was so destroyed, as if he didn’t know that this was nothing new for her and he’d come crying to me because he knew she was lying to him!! The slut would try to convince me nothing was going on , making a fool out of me and the guy got mad at me for not sticking up for him ! But I was also friends with his wife and watched their child and everything! It was such a mess and I was in the middle of it , but I was the last to know the truth when everyone found out at our Christmas party! They stayed together, had more kids and he cheated like you wouldn’t believe and she’s still with him! Girls like her don’t care about anyone else-they want who they want , when they want them ! And if you acted the way your guy is with a work “friend”, it would be a whole different attitude!
I go to his work and take lunch and make point of letting her know that she wakes him and you are aware of the texes then make a point that next time she at yours honking the horn you will notify police of a stalker as ya neighbors didn’t appreciate it. Make it very clear to her to back off and find a new guy to golddigger to
If you love him and want to be with him fight for him once only tell him straight face he packs up all this texting crap and shit or your going and she is welcome to him explain you may think harmless fun but she don’t and it’s hurting you.
Men are stupid a women shows interest to chat goes there head but she is very well aware what she is doing where the guy who marriage she wrecked ?? If all that still things ya mad move out some times takes to loose it all before you relise what you got or get the bloke she was with as it may be how she works good luck
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Walk away. It doesn’t matter if he is cheating, you don’t trust him. He doesn’t care about your feelings anyway… stop whining and get a life.
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I would literally call her from his phone and see what she says and just say you’re aware of their outside of work communication and tell her it needs to end. Tell him the same thing and say its the final warning. Otherwise he has to get out
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In my neighbourhood we have a 'community vagina" aswell. Well thats what we all call her. Dunno if she knows, but she knows she has a reputation. Anyway girls like that need a good scrag up the road to know their place. Fella needs a hiding aswell for even entertaining her
My mom alwats told me that if they wanted to stay noone could make them go but if they did want to go she would gladly help them pack. Be strong and do not appear to be desperate nomatter what happens.
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Dudes a 
!!! He knows he’s married with a child!!! He knows shes a whore!!! Sooooo I don’t understand where his confusion lies!!! I’d get ready for that heartbreak momma 
. No one deserves to be cheated on!!! If his ass ain’t happy he needs to say so and try to fix it or be a man and leave before he starts another life!!!
U know what? Move on. Been there,done that shit…me and my babe been together 14 years he talked about this bitch across the hall from him,she …ain’t shit… she a drunk etc,but I caught them in the bed together! Keep it moving you know do better. Good luck.
Males are idiots, sometimes you just have to confront the female stern, without violence and let them know it’s YOUR family and what she’s doing isn’t okay with you. Typically, she’s surprised that you know and it ends her intrusion.
Trust your gut. The fact that he knows her history and is keeping her around as a friend is a huge red flag. You’re right to be worried.
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Id make him text her to not text him any more. Id let her know. Then id let him know if he continues youre out. Hes a liar and shes a slut. Dont take it cuz thatll make him feel like he can just do what he wants. So shitty of him cuz yes if you were doing that hed be flipping out.
She acts like a teenybopper with all that chat. Maybe hubby likes it because he’s feeling worn down by work…NO EXCUSE.
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My dude wouldn’t even entertain the idea of having a friendship with a bitch like that. She’s a bucket of yuck. Dump that lame.
Besides cheating hes a liar, con artist thats doing the work cover-up bs and it wont stop becauce she has him hooked…time for a plan!
Not overreacting at all! Your not no dummy and neither is he! He knows exactly what he’s doing and that’s being a sneaky fuck.
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Why are you even asking what you should do??? He’s a cheater sweetie!!! Tell him to hit the road running!!!
People please. Show some maturity. If he wants someone else then let him go. Jealousy is a wasted emotion. It’s like a giant game of , who you talking to? If you can’t trust them, you don’t need them. This equals, bye bye now.
The guys probably in the wrong I get it but there’s several comments about “making him pay” " get that child support" I thought y’all were strong independent women that don’t need no man?
Keep cool plan your exit if it’s what you want. Get details of his wage and bank details. Make sure you have your own account and get some money to help you.
He’s taking the piss out of you, arsehole
Ya boy seen an easy target…and easy targets wreck marriages
Don’t I know this story!
My husband started getting regular texts from a “colleague” … “how are you today” etc… i was getting pretty peeved he told me she had been through most of his co workers and she was ugly and had a hairy back…
One day I was sat on the sofa and I could hear the mobile phone tones so I went to investigate and found my toddler behind the sofa messing with his work phone…
I took it of him sharpish only to catch a text on the screen from her saying “I’m sorry can we still be friends!”
I stormed into the kitchen where he was and launched the phone at his head and not so politely asked " what the f**k is that??"
He said that the day before they were all.in the office amd she had turned around and said to him " I have a man for Monday, I have a man for Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, do you want to be my man for Friday?"
To which he apparently laughed his head off and walked away.
Then she approached him after and put her hands on his chest and said “I wasn’t joking.”
I flipped my shit!! I had been telling him for weeks and weeks that she was blatantly after him amd he would just laugh like it was all a big joke.
He said he told her “he had way too much to lose and he wasn’t interested.”
A while later during an argument right then ding ding she’s texting him again! So I take the phone and call the number…
I can’t put exactly what was said as FB has a snowflake filter and I’ll end up banned so I will let you imagine how that went…
She didn’t actually text him again but he also never forgot my feelings on the matter either trust me…
My ex was the same way, you can be mad
Once a home wrecker always a home wrecker , leave asap
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You’re freakingout for no reason. Clearly you’ve gone through his texts and found nothing. Otherwise you wouldn’t know some of the stuff thats been said. If anything, he should be leaving you. This toxicity is what woman are deeming normal these days. I’ve been in the boat like this guy. I once walked out to the our car after a gym workout because I had finished early and she was still running. 10 minutes later she texts me and says fine, go f*** your hoes. Like I was sitting in our car…mind you this was years ago. I left a week later. That was the final straw. So, he needs to get out. ASAP
I think I would put a car charger camera in his car
He’s having an affair or he’s going to
Sweetie he is for sure screwing her 100%
I’d leave can’t trust him
Get the bitch fired!
Yeah nah stuff that chuck him in the sea
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Trust your gut instinct
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Gut Feeling. Off you go. End of.
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Trust your gut & run
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