Jesus! If this isn’t my sister in law idk what is. My brother is the pos who doesn’t work regularly, plays video games all day, loves his kids but does not much with them… & I tell her on a regular basis she is DUMB. I of all people understand wanting to keep a family together but when is enough, enough? Is it really that much better the kids having the dad their when they are like this? Is he really going to teach them anything other than the fact that it’s okay for his children to bring home a bum? I’m so sorry but this is TERRIBLE. Take your good many making self and make a good life for you and your children alone, since that’s what you are anyways. Who knows you may eventually find someone who wants to be there, wants to do with you and the children, and much more. I can attest to this… yes it nah have taken me a long while to find a decent man, a family man, but I found him. If that’s what your heart desires please PLEASE quit holding yourself back. Your children are young enough to adapt and will understand in the long run that the decisions you made for them were the BEST. Good luck.
Leave the asshole he is self center person those kids don’t nee to be traumatized anymore by this idiot he was brought up like that he is never going to leave find someone that accept you and your children he is in my opinion a user and mental abuser to you and the children it his problem let him figure it out because with this sick mind in the future something could go wrong with you and your family there is very very sick people out there get to hell away from before it is too late he is not worth it he is user abuser and he doesn’t love you or kids or would get help
You have to set a good example for your kid’s and he is not it.You don’t need a man child move on .You need to do for you and your children.You said your friends with kids well find someone who will share life with you not just go for the ride.
I don’t think you really need anyone’s advice. You sound like an intelligent woman but for a couple of things.
Do you actually share your bank account with this man? How does he buy anything unless you give it to him? He wouldn’t get another penny from me for his silly video games.
You said one of the times that you left, he went on like it didn’t matter. How did he get back in? The kids are young now but a one bedroom is going to get a whole lot smaller when they get into school or become teenagers. And that is when your real trouble begins.
Girl. I think the life you’ve settled for is the life of your choosing.
You know what needs to be done.
On the other hand. You’ve got a live-in nanny who loves the children. He does a lousy job of nurturing but they’re safe, for now, while you work those long hours. It could be a different story when they’re 5 and 3 and are more active. Will he be a good baby sitter then? While playing his video games?
You need a push? My momma stayed with my step father because she believed she wasnt good enough and thought she wouldnt be able to take care of us on her own ( i dont blame her) …seeing my momma miserable stressed sad mad ect KILLED me growing up it still effects me to this day i wouldn’t have cared if we lived in a box if my momma was happy i would have been a lot different
if that’s how you feel you don’t need anyone to validate your feelings. Leave if you can’t grow together and he has to be willing to break the cycle of not staying in contact until papers come in. The kids need their dad but if he’s not helping with good habits love and attention maybe seeing him less might be better
You don’t have a bf you have a man-child. He is not a stay at home dad he is a bum living off of you! He is neglecting y’all’s children and you are allowing it. He needs to go and grow the hell up! You will NEVER meet a MAN and give your children a REAL role model with him in your house! Do you want your children growing up thinking it’s ok to be a bum?! If I hadn’t left my son’s pos birth father who was just like that I never would have met my husband and be truly happy!
The cycle is just going to continue with your kids. If he’s stuck in his ways, then you’ll be stuck right along with him and eventually hate yourself for it because you wasted so much time on a boy(not a man) who doesn’t want to move forward in life. It’s not worth it to stay if he is like this because I can tell you now, he’ll never change. So my advice to you, for the sake of your kids, get out while you can and be the best version of you you can be.
Honestly I don’t know why you’re still with him. You’re doing everything anyways it seems. Sounds to me like you are just raising a third grown child. He doesn’t want to work? What the hell? You are responsible for your own actions as well as he is too. It doesn’t matter what you’re mom did to your dad this is now your children and you have the choice as to not make their father a monster. Sounds like he is doing that enough for himself.
Kick him out •
If u make decent $
Buy Ur House• ur name Only
Pay a nanny
Good supervision/schooling etc
Get rid of him! Let him have his kids every other wkend /1 X a week in His Own place like his 1 room apt Only he’ll have to get a Job to pay for it•
U can/will survive without & deserve sooo much more
But … until U see itself as a Successful Woman ( Mother) Nothing any of us say will work
s for u & ur children•
Do it now while they’re little
I actually thought I was reading my life’s story with my 1st husband. We were together for 27 years. I thought (and planned for 12 years) while the kids were growing up that someday he would change and we would have a life together- When My baby daughter graduated high school, I looked at my life and said,—THIS IS AS GOOD AS IT IS GOING TO GET, AND DAMN IT- IT’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME. I gave him 6 weeks to get counseling or a job- he thought I was bluffing- he said counceling was just the nail on the coffin- well, long story short- it was painful and very sad for him, but I moved to another state, I have been remarried for 20 years, my kids are well adjusted adults that were able to achieve successful careers and lives- he choose to be angry, get on meth, loose his relationships with his kids and grandchildren- but- as hard as it was and is- I AM ONLY RESPONISBLE FOR MYSELF- IT IS NOT MY JOB TO CHANGE SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT WANT TO CHANGE. I wish you the best- take care of yourself!
Now I believe that you are enabling his behavior. If you took the kids and moved to something more comfortable. He could stay putt, as he seams to be comfortable where he is.
Why? I just don’t get it. Why allow yourself to be treated that way?
Ooh mama. I’m so sorry that you feel stuck. And unable to spend your own money and be happy. Kick his ass to the curb! Move on and LIVE your life. If he chooses to keep being a dad that is up to him but your kids will look back and realize that you wasted your life away with someone who has no drive and held you back for years!!! They need to see you happy. And you are not responsible for their father’s happiness or his well being. He is taking advantage of you and you are letting him. He reminds me of my ex and the day I finally walked away and didn’t look back I realized the amount of relief I felt and the weight that was lifted from my spirit and my mental health. You can do it!!
Do you need someone to tell you to leave him??? If you want a better life, a fulfilling relationship, a stable home environment for your children: LEAVE!! Being a single parent will be much more rewarding than what you have with Mr. LAZY!!
Nope. Time for you to move into your dream home. Nope. He’s not coming. He will be paying child support, so that solves his job problem. You really don’t need to be his mommy, too.
Give him a schedule like write it down hang on the wall to help most dads don’t know what’s going on !
Slap divorce papers on the table in front of him and say if you’re not willing to change things I will file these papers. Maybe a big thing like that might snap him out of whatever’s going on with him? If he doesn’t seem fazed just file and move on, you said it yourself you can afford daycare for the kids and you make the money so what do you need him for? If he falls off the earth then just let him, if he doesn’t want to see the kids don’t force him. You shouldn’t have to beg a “man” to do the bare minimum.
I say ,take your children and get that nice house . A one bedroom apartment is not satisfactory for 3 babies.
Its hard but he has to get his own crap together. He stays because its easier to be taken care of by you. You aren’t married and you make the money he wouldn’t be getting video games or anything unless he helped. And for him to try and tell you how to spend your money when you are the one taking care of everything is insane. If he has access to your bank I would get a different one, if you’re not ready to leave its time to be the man of the house and give him either nothing or an allowance but if he’s not doing anything I probably wouldn’t give him anything. Um food and lighting and heat and water is all he would be getting until he changed his behavior. And that only if you are really not ready to leave. But honestly I think you are.
Girl you got the job. Move out and get kids in daycare. Better yourself and the future of yourself and the kids.
What you allow will continue until he gets off your tit,know your worth and set an example for your babies,children live what they learn,jmo
I bought a 2015 Dodge Ram
I bought my self a truck, finally. Baby steps but moving towards better days for me and my actual children
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I overreacting?
I still have my ex-husband family members on my page I don’t communicate with none of them they will like my kids pictures and stuff like that though none of them are blood relation
The family and not the actual ex? I think that’s fine. I have some of my ex’s mommas on my Facebook. I loved them and they were good to me. I broke up with the guy, not them.
I have contact with family and friends of exs
I am friends with and talk regularly to my ex husband’s family. We were apart of each other’s lives for 14 years and they are still my family.
Not weird at all. Definitely overreacting.
I’d go with overreacting.
If I ever divorced my husband I would certainly still keep in contact with many in his family. We’ve bonded over the years and fostered our own relationships beyond him. I don’t think that’s wrong as long as he isn’t using it as a way to keep close to his ex
I dated a guy over 10 years ago. I still have his family on my fb and talk to them and they talk to me. I met great people through him, doesn’t mean we broke up. Lol
If it’s something that makes you uncomfortable discuss it before it eats you alive.
My ex-husband and his family are all on my fb. We have kids and grands together. We all check in on each other. I help take care of his mom and make sure she gets to all of her Dr’s and such. We were together almost 20 years.
Just because y’all broke up doesn’t matter the family stops loving them. I have been with my husband 14 years. His family is a big part of my life
It sounds like you may be jealous that he has a connection with them, which somehow also leaks a connection with her.
It depends we’re they together for a long time? Or Did they have kids together?? Then yes its normal and your over reacting
My ex’s sister is my best friend. She jokes we kept each other in the divorce. She also doesn’t particularly like her brother
Do they have a kid/kids together?
Not weird, family is for life!
Im friends and still talk to my ex in laws, but they’re the grandparents and their son is a pos so I guess every situation is different
Experiencing this myself and it’s been a very conflicting feeling. All my exes are horribly abusive & toxic so I want nothing to do with them. My new boyfriend has a lot of healthy communication skills & good relationships with his exes but it sets off alarms in my head.
I’d suggest exploring your past traumas, figure out why this bothers you and seeing where you end up. It’s not easy regardless.
I still have some of my exs family but I have a child with my ex so I guess that it’s ok
You break up with exs not with their families
deff depends on the boyfriend if he makes you feel insecure or untrustworthy then no i wouldn’t like it if you guys are solid and the family knows about you and you know it’s harmless then no you shouldn’t worry
Overreacting!!! I’m still friends with my ex’s family and we split up over 10 yrs ago.
I still talk to an ex’s family every now and again.
They liked me better then they did him lol.
You’re overreacting. Looks like self sabotage to me, that your looking for things to be wrong.
Only if you make it so
Talk to him
If he has kids with her then that would make sense but if not then that would make me uncomfortable as well
I’m still friends with my ex’s family on social media and we broke up like 15 years ago. I don’t talk to them all the time but I don’t think it’s weird.
Overreacting, take a chill pill
Overreacting… as long as he doesn’t have her I don’t see the big problem.
My ex from 11 years is still on my Facebook and we still talk
I still talk to my exes family
No, my husband’s ex wife’s family came to our wedding and that family is part of our holidays etc. None of his ex’s family speaqk to her though. She’s not in the picture just this wonderful loving family.
my boyfriend and his ex broke up over EIGHT years ago, & she still goes to his mothers house for the holidays and random visits - he doesn’t speak to her at all, but his whole family still does
My boyfriend’s ex and I are close friends.
My boyfriends mom has all his ex’s on FB. Lol
My boyfriend works as a delivery driver for the company my ex husband works for.
I have my boyfriends mom and brother on my FB… I refused to have my ex’s siblings or mom on my FB.
It all depends on your situation…
I still have my Exs and their family members on mine.
My ex has my son & family on his I have no problem with it it’s not like he’s goin over there to hang out
I still have my ex’s family on social media and we broke up 5 years ago! An I still talk to his dad and step mom
Overreacting I still talk to my exs mother and sister I even invite them to my youngest son’s birthday and he has a different dad then my oldest 2 and they treat him and my current husband like family and I haven’t been with my ex for 16 years
Yeah you’re overreacting. Stop being pity. If you can’t accept it then LEAVE. He’s a grown man and can have whomever he wants on his social media and you do not have the right to try and tell him otherwise.
Its maturity. Its possible for two people to realize they are not relationship material and still be friends as well as remain friends with their other friends and family. Not all relationships end on bad terms.
All my family still has my exes on Facebook and still talks to them
I have been with my husband for 10 yrs. I am friends with my ex boyfriend I dated before him. We all hang out and they are friends. My relationship with my ex is done and we are just better friends. Heck he messaged my boyfriend when he had his triple bypass 2 weeks ago to check up and make sure we didn’t need anything and made sure I was ok with my kiddos. His mom has watched my boys and treats them like her own grand babies. Everyone’s relationships are different. I’m happy with my husband and my ex and I were just better as friends. Nothing wrong with that!
My boyfriend does too but I really don’t care because they knows he’s with me and we plan on getting married and they respect that but he’s known them for 8 years you can’t just walk away from that
Overreacting, he can still be friends with them after the break up
My ex husband is a supreme douche. I always stayed in contact with his mother and by the time we divorced his little sister was like my little sister still to this day even almost 20 years later. And they know m feelings regarding him, but they were my family also. Current husband’s excerpts ex sister in law as my sister. And I wouldn’t be upset if he still had a relationship with some of his ex’s family, they were family for years. And I also know that they wouldnt be getting back together either.
Hell my dad moved in his ex mother and father in law 35 plus years after him and my mom divorced, no big deal to me
I have my ex husbands family on my Facebook and his dad still visits
Depends every relationship is different & seriousness of the relationship. I would factor in if they have kids or not. If they have kids together then yes should stay in touch with the exes family but if not should cut ties IMO
I don’t see anything wrong with it.
Overreacting. I was with my last boyfriend for 2 months. Friends with him since kindergarten. I am still friends with him and his family. Friends with one of his ex’s after me. It’s called being grown up.
Totally overreacting hun, it’s social media and I guess he will be posting pics of you and his happy life together all over it and they will see this. If there was any awkwardness then they would remove themselves. I guess he just feels comfortable with them on it. Also it’s a bloke thing. They don’t care who is on their socials. They care who is in their real life.
Actually I have to ask. Is she texting or calling begging him to come back to her? That would be the only way it would be a problem
That’s it?? Girl, stop.
Overreacting. Both my husband and I talk to his ex’s family. I have ex’s on my Fb as well
No it’s not I still got some of my ex’s family on mine.just like one of my exs his ex ND the mother of his child ND she end up being in a car wreck ND lm still close to his mom ND like she stated they may not be together but she technically grow up with him ND her other kids
If you trust your bf, I don’t see the problem. I know people who keep in touch with friends and family of their exes and it’s not a problem.
If he isn’t asking about her then yeah. People become friends and stay friends. If he is asking then yeah that’s wierd
He broke up with ex not everybody else. divorced my ex ex 25 years ago and his family andI I are still close.
If there is kids involved I can see remaining close contact. But only if there is good feelings there… I don’t have exs family or anything on mine cause I don’t need the drama. But they get to see photos and everything.
You are overreacting… unless they are trying to sabatoge your relationship…but sounds like you are doing a fine job of that yourself. Is he allowed to look around in public…or is it head down unless he is looking at you?
I think it’s a red flag but that’s just me
I have my ex husband’s family on mine as well as him having mine on his. He now has a child with his new girlfriend. I don’t think there’s a problem with having them on there.
Just because things with south with us, doesn’t mean they did with our families.
that was his family at one time, I also am still friends with my ex SIL’s & I loved his father & was there at his bedside right before he died a few yrs ago, Oh & I left their brother/son back in 1974. So I feel you are overreacting
If they were harassing you, or trying to get involved in your relationship, you’d have reason to be upset. But otherwise it’s just part of his history. Personally I’m annoyed that my boyfriend’s sister in laws are friends with his ex, but it’s none of my business. I’m just not sure how they can claim to care about him and still be friends with someone that is trying to ruin him. So at the end I’m saying your feelings could be valid, but as long as everyone is civil and he’s not taking their side over you, just let it go.
I think people should respect their significant others relationships with other people more these days
I divorced 12 years ago and my dad still goes to my ex’s and new wife’s house on Christmas… I understand what you are saying.
Did ur entire life start when you got with this bf cause you seem to think his did
Overreacting got to remember that was his family aswell while they where together just cos doesn’t work out with ex don’t just dump the family they share memories etc I’m still close to my ex family and have no contact with My ex what so ever his mum was very good to me growing up and could never just cut her off and haven’t been with her son in nearly 7years and I’m happily married with my husband and kids ! My husband tells me to stay in contact as we have a bond it’s trust x
no. I talk to my exes baby mama and her family all the time. and all his family. we do have kids together so.
I think you are overacting just because you split up with someone don’t mean you have to stop caring for their family…
If kids are involved it’s normal. If no kids a bit of a weird one but it depends how their relation was. Wouldn’t be for me personally but each time their own I guess
It would make me uncomfortable.
Over reacting. Sorry but just because he broke up with his ex, he didn’t break up with their family. Some of my family still talk to one of my exes from when I was 16. If they get on, they get on.
I wouldn’t be upset about this. I still am “friends” on Facebook with some of my exes family but I am totally over my ex. Sometimes when you break up with someone doesn’t mean you have to break up with everybody you formed a bond with just because the relationship didn’t work out. If he is respecting you and the family is respecting the relationship then I wouldn’t worry about it.
He broke up w her not her family. Why should he destroy those relationships because he isn’t dating her anymore? Ridiculous.