I definitely am a believer in sharing, but also think children should have their own special things. If kids come over there are a few things that my son puts away and that’s fine, but also in my own home! I’m not sure I would expect the same in someone else’s home? Good luck 
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He has every right to have things that are just his. As long as he is not using or playing with said items in front of other children there shouldn’t be any issues. We all have things that are just ours.
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That’s what happens when you live in somebody else’s house….
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Consider that your first red flag of what is to come living with in-laws. You might want to reconsider the move. Some things are just not worth it. I have known people who moved in with in-laws and it broke up their marriage. Not to say that would happen to you, but just sayin.
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This page seems more like mom’s posting their personal issues than things that have to do mainly with their kids. But you’re moving in with them so you don’t get to make the decisions on who gets what room. You should just be happy they are helping you out at all.
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Tell her blow it out her ass! Your kid your rules!!!
The “her house her rules” crap ppl are spouting is rubbish. The toys don’t belong to her, they are yours. Have some “sharing” toys and keep the precious ones in a box that are just for your child. Sharing isn’t everything; having your own things that you value and look after is also an important life skill your child needs to use. If she has offered to “help” by you staying there, there shouldn’t be conditions that affect your personal belongings!
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Right, you should get your own place, or be grateful they are allowing your family to stay there. I understand bc I always buy my daughter expensive things but they are kids I want her cousins to have fun also 
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no ma’am I used to do that very same thing it’s not that you are trying to deprive your nieces or nephew’s from playing with the toys it just when other kid’s come over thing’s tend to get tore up
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Sharing is a choice. It shouldn’t be up to an adult to tell someone else if others are allowed to touch their things. A child should be able to say what they are willing to share. Just like their grandma has her room with her things. My kids love to give and show love to others so that won’t make your child selfish. If need be, put their special toys in your own bedroom
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Alot of not your house comments… but that’s not the debate. No you are not crazy!! Expensive or not there are some toys our little ones just don’t want to share, and as unfortunate as it is to have to move into somewhere that you have to share accommodations, your child should have some sense of theirs. It’s not the child’s fault that things have turned out the way they are… sure there will be toys out for sharing but it shouldn’t be a problem having some of their more precious toys put up or away. And if that is a problem, I’d suggest putting those more precious toys away in a box or storage until your able to move into your own place again… I’m sorry you (whoever you are), are going through this tough time
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Sorry its her house dude yeah it sucks that’s why you get the hell out of there as soon as possible just put up the stuff you don’t want damaged till you move out
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The other room wasn’t up for offer, it’s a communal room by the sounds of it, so it seems like a take it or leave it scenario. The expensive toys probably shouldn’t have come into conversation. You effectively asked permission and probably wasn’t necessary. Just move in and put them up in your room. If it’s trivial now maybe not a good move.
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I had the same issue Wer my father in law made my hubby and I to move to his Wer his ex wife and her new hubby lived ,we suppose to separate the house and I had the exactly the same issue,my mother in law will act like my boss tell me what to do even take my things even dirt and come leave by my side ,my child’s things were thrown everywer even complain every day.i worked 12 hours shifts and as soon as I come home my hubby will start cos she already messaged him telling him and I couldn’t take it anymore I left with my child and we happy not worrying about my mother in law pity issues and she can keep her son cos he can eat supper with his mother cos he shud listen to her ,yer my daughter has her own room ,own bathroom and toilet and a playroom with her TV ,I even have my own room at my family house
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Put special toys in your room and let home play with there or when others aren’t around.
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Stay somewhere else, but not w/ her! Do it for your son!
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I see red flags avoid it for your sons sake
Dont take the realy expensive ones with you
nothing wrong with putting up the toys you don’t want destroyed while they come over, you really don’t even need to discuss it with her–she most likely wouldn’t even notice if you just did it.
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I agree with you! Your not being selfish. You are allowing your son to share some of his toys. Toys are expensive and if they are meaniful and special to your son, then he should be able to keep them separate. Otherwise a broken toy, will cause him to resent the other child that broke it. He shouldn’t have to share everything. It sounds like granny is jealous that your child might have the better playstuff than the other kids. Are the other grandkids sharing their toys with your child? Id go with my usual routine. Granny isnt paying for these toys. Its not her call. You own the toys ( because its your child)
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You should put those toys in your room. To protect them from other kiddos. BUT YOU NEED TO BE RESPECTFUL TO SOMEONE DOING YOU THIS GREAT FAVOR OF SHARING YHEIR HOME WITH YOU. YOU NEED TO ADJUST THST CHIP ON YOUR SHOULDER.
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No you are not crazy, I was the exact same way, some things can be shared but not all things, other children will not take care of his toys like he will, my children grew up to be great givers, not selfish, respect for others and their property, never let anyone make you feel bad about what you can afford for your children, others need to figure it out for their children
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If you’re moving why not just put what you don’t want touched or played with stores away? Seems like a bigger issue is made when easily avoidable all together
Put your stuff in a storage and keep your kid in your room with you. I’m so against co sleeping but oh hell no I won’t trust anyone around my kids especially grandparents.
Her house, her rules.
You are overreacting. Biological relatives are important.
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Um I feel like this is normal sorry idk what to say I mean they do have a right to feel excited for a biological child ya know genetics and all it’s always nice to see what your own blood looks like no matter how much they love your child I’m sure they’ll love them equally but maybe don’t hold it against them . Think about genetics I mean you don’t wonder what your child will look and be like with the partner you have now? Don’t take it to heart unless you feel like they are actually being nasty
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If they are good to the child and treat her as a grandchild etc I wouldn’t worry too much. I think it’s just they are excited for a bio baby. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything bad maybe just a poor choice of words. I would definitely just have a chat with them express your Concerns calmly without getting upset and angry. They sound like nice people I’m sure they didn’t mean to hurt your feelings x
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To be honest, id feel hurt too. That aside, ita a blessing they love your child as their own and i kind of get them hinting at/wanting you and your bf having a child together. Id just be honoured knowing that my partners family love me so much, they want me to have their grandchild.
I wouldnt stress it too much. Whatever will be will be
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- They “accept”? The child? Going to need their definition/view first
- If it doesn’t bother the child, and only you, well yes, OVER REACTION
- LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL, NO MATTER the situation.
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This is totally a normal biological feeling that they’re having
If your boyfriend had a child you’d be pining for one of your own too
The only issue I see here is they may end up playing favorites once they get their “real” grandchild
I’d let them know from the gate they accept, love, and treat all my children equally or they won’t be in any of your lives
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I feel you may over reacting ,my daughter got into a relationship ,he had a 5 yr old ,2yrold my daughter was Pg caring for the children and the 5 yr old asked her are you our new mom and she told the boys NO you have a mom I’m just gonna be someone who is gonna be there for you and help take care of you till this day I say I have 4 grand babies that my dautgher has , but bio only 2 ,but love them all the same
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Where is the biological daughter’s grandparents?
Because really you can’t fault people for feeling what they feel,it’s unfair to then that they can’t say what they feel because you will then feel hurt
Just be happy that they love and have accepted your child
As long as they don’t insult her or throw jabs at her then she’s good to go
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What are you protecting her from exactly? A family excited to see their bloodline continue?
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My MIL loves my children from another relationship as her her own grand kids, yes she got very excited when my partner and I had a few babies together as they are “biological” grandchildren, but saying that, she never has treated my children any differently to the biological grandkids and loves them all the same and has since day dot.
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Well if you split up with the boyfriend will the grandparents still get visitation ?, there is nothing wrong with having a bonus grandchild but for them it’s never permanent because you might split up and they might never see the child again
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At the end of the day that’s not their blood grandchild. He is just your boyfriend you guys break up .The bf and them have no legal rights to her. They want a blood related grandchild. And they will probably favor that child. I would talk to him about how you are feeling.
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I would just love my grandchild the exact same way as i would love my grandchild, thats it. Destiny Lynne Turner 
Aven Preston
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Your in laws don’t know how you truly feel. Enlighten them.
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Simply talk with them. Why are people so afraid of communication these days?dont get defensive, dont get pissed. Just let them know how you feel.
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I’d wait and see how child is treated you say they treat yours as their own id worry more on actions than words. By blood will be different no matter what and they have right to feelings
Nope you’re not “over reacting”. I have 1 non blood grandson that is treated EXACTLY the same (one of my kids says better lol), as my blood grandkids. He is a part of us all where it counts…our hearts! He is ours to love, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
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Talk to them, in their excitement they might not realize that their comments are hurtful, have a calm open conversation about how you expect both children to be treated equally as they’re siblings… It is natural for them to be excited about their first blood grandchild so i’d take it as that.
That’s not overreacting. Next time day “what do you mean by that?, you have a grandchild?”
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Not over reacting at all!! They may accept your child being around, but that doesn’t mean they accept your child as family. I had to cut people out of not only mine, but my children’s lives because of this. It wasn’t just words though. Their actions showed they viewed my kids as outsiders. If they treat your child well, tell them the comments are hurtful and simply ask them to stop. I will warn though, if you do have a child with your boyfriend, they may very well start excluding your older child and showing favoritism.
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As a stepchild…thought to be family (as raised that way)…it doesn’t hold true to the end
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Your child will never be their grandchild. Wanting their sons to have a child ue different and understandable.
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He’s not even your husband, he’s just a boyfriend. Yes, you’re overreacting.
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Sorry to say but as much as they may care they really never know when or if you might suddenly leave with your kids.
you cant blame the theyre grandchildren are actually blood no matter where they go 
And its shady yes but its just a hard pill to swallow
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If a family isn’t fully and completely accepting… Not worrying about if you and your boyfriend are going to work out… Solely focused on that child and her security and mental health… Then it will work.
The division starts when people give life to thoughts that should have stayed in their heads. I would let them know that them saying things like that may start your child questioning their place in the family’s life. Whether or not she truly belonged there. It’s more damaging than people realize. I know. I was the step daughter at one point.
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Overreacting totally.
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Tell them how their comments make you feel.
If he’s accepted the child (does said child call him dad) and is doing his bit as parent then good on him!!
Does he know of these comments and if so does he stand up for you?
If not I t tell him and he might.
I get what they’re saying but they’re just being petty.
The batural grandchild will happen when it happens, planned or unplanned
Could it be because they feel they have not the same rights as biological grandchildren?
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There’s a difference between accepting your children and thinking they are grandchildren.
How long is ‘since day one’? Is that all of the children’s life, or for as long as you’ve been in a relationship?
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If they treat your child good and love them, I don’t see why it matters that they said that. It is their first grandchild biologically and they should be able to say that
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It was an offhand comment about a “bio” child. Don’t take it personally if they already treat your child as their own.
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Lay down the law or keep your child away from them. How sad
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This is tough because I think the comments would offend me also but I can’t help but think that they are entitled to their excitement - they never got to feel any of this with your daughter.
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I think you are a little. But I would’ve reminded her nicely she has one, so that your child doesn’t get hurt feelings. How old is your child? I was in a similar situation as a child. Communication 
things are said without thinking sometimes. Most if not all are guilty of that. I’d say Communication or forget it. I also understand how your feeling. But tell her how you felt when she said that.
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You aren’t married so your child isn’t their Step Grandchild yet. Ithink it’s nice that they are seeing you as somebody that they love and respect enough to potentially be their Grandchilds Mum. Don’t ruin things by being overly concerned and making it a thing x
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I would say actions speak louder than words, if they treat her well then u hav no worries x
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Nope I don’t think it’s fair to mention it Infront you or your child!!!
Between themselves they could have a little ‘eeeeekkkkk’ moment of excitement because they never got to experience it with your child but have some tact and say nothing! Especially infront of the child and you!!!
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That’s how I was always treated also… I was adopted and all my adoptive family made sure to tell me constantly that I “wasn’t REALLY their kid/Grandkid”
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My grandparents came in to my life at 3 years old never treated me any differently than the other grandchildren. They helped to raise me and loved me with their whole heart. You’d never know any different. The phrases my real or bio grandchildren weren’t something they said or would have ever said or pointed out. In fact for a large period of my life they where the only grandparents I had. They passed years and years ago they are still called granny and pops when I talk to my son about them. I have never in all my years ever called them Garold and Juanita. Their son my stepdad who passed 10 years ago is still Daddy never Junior. He was the only dad I ever knew. My mom was married to my biological father but they didn’t live together for long and the divorce was complete before I was 8 months old. So if you ask me who my family is that’s the ones who raised me who stepped up and who loved me fiercely with their whole hearts. My son never got the chance to meet granny and pops. And was getting to know my dad when he passed. He’s 12 and if you ask him who my family is who’s my dad who’s my grandma and grandpa he says they are. Because they loved me and made me who I am today as a person. The others he says they only share DNA. But otherwise are strangers. And I’d hate to stay it but he’s right. I carry the last name of the ppl who loved me and raised me and my son uses that last name in school as a preferred name. Not the last name of the ppl we share DNA with. So I just wanna say as a child who was once in the child’s position if they have the ability to love like my grandparents did that’s very important to that child. The child will remember and cherish that love long after they are gone and share it with their children. And after many years you become apart of the then and they become a part of you.
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I agree with you, they should be treating the child just like they would if the child was his own!!! They need to shut their mouths!!
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Nope I’d be upset too. It bothers me more than I can admit that my fiancess family is all about our daughter and after two years doesn’t even know my son’s name. They still call him the boy. Call me petty but I take to mixing kids names up when I talk to adults so they get the feeling. I make sure not to do it in front of the kids tho and I call the kids their correct name and treat them as if they were my own niece and nephews. I’m a firm believer in blood or not no kid should feel left out
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Following for I’m going similar issues but with my fiance wife. She has been mailed divorce papers claim she lost them.
I get what they are meaning, HOWEVER that is NOT something to be said or talked about in front of your child.
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Over reacting as long as they treat her as their grandchild why does it matter she is their bonus grand child
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You’re overreacting. They still treat your child like they are their grandchild, but it’s not the same. It’s different when your child has a child of their own flesh and blood. Right now, if you two split, there’s a risk they’ll never see your child again, that won’t be the case when you & him have a child of your own.
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I would ask 1st. How old is your child? Do they say this around your child. Were they there thru the pregnancy with your first child? The announcement, the excitement of the delivery? If not, and the child is at an age that they don’t understand. It doesn’t matter. They are excited of the process they are going to get to go thru. If things change once the new child is born and a difference is shown then raise your concerns. Allow them their time to be excited about everything they are experiencing as “new” grandparents if they missed out on it with your first child. I have 5 children and my oldest I was only 8 weeks pregnant and he was murdered. It was the grandparents only child. I have four more children and they all call her Nanny and she recognizes all of them for birthdays and holidays. The only real difference is my oldest receiving items from his passed father for graduation and his 16th, 21st birthday.
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100 percent happy for them
If it were me… I would speak to them privately and ask that they not say anything like that in front of your child. Let them know you understand the excitement for the bloodline but, doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect your daughter hearing those things.
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If you were legally married your child is then rightfully their grandchild. I don’t know if they’re purposely trying to hurt you with what they say. I kinda understand where they’re coming from. But, I also hear you when you say it niggles you.
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My bf came into my sons life when he was 4 my son is now 9 and to my bfs parents he has always been their grandson they have never thought of him any other way it’s their grandchild. I would be upset if I was you too
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You’re overreacting. Obviously having a bio grandchild is exciting, especially the first one. They should be able to express that excitement. Doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t love your child. As long as they still treat her good.
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I think you may be over sensitive, as long as they accept your daughter as their grandchild, that is the main thing. It is a difficult situation as it is their first grandchild. (Technically you guys aren’t married and therefore your the daughter out-law, that’s what my mum called my hubby before we married)
I am sure they love your daughter, don’t read into things. 
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Not overreacting at all, they need not mention that to you or your child. Those are their true emotions don’t subject you or your child to it, and best believe the minute you give them a grandchild biologically they will clearly show difference between those children and then you will forever have to deal with that. Not worth the drama protect YOUR child and your peace
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Say something when child isn’t present. It will be worse if you have their first grandchild yikes
I’m sorry but it is different. It’s a feeling they can’t help.
I would hope they don’t say it around your child though
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As you see it now will be the way it is if you give them a grandchild
Y’all are missing the point!
Imagine being a kid hearing this. She is not overreacting. The adults are wrong for saying this. I would privately speak to them about it and ask them not to say things like that in front of my child.
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Not once did she ask for her. She’s asking how to protect her child from hearing such things so they DONT hurt her. In my opinion I’d stop going to the grandparents house until you’re able to talk with them, have your bf talk with them too with you so they know both of you want it to sto
Overreacting for sure
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My fiancé’s side of the family… his dad and step mom have ten grand children between them, one of which is my oldest daughter… however, I had a baby last year and that is technically their first biological grand child and yes they love their grand kids… all of them… but I’m sure it felt different for my father in law to see his own looks and traits and his sons in my daughter. My oldest has an amazing relationship with him, they have inside jokes and she knows they love her. I understand how the comment could hurt but it’s all about how they’re saying it and if they’re saying it excessively or if they just mentioned how it will be nice. Even my fiancé’s mother felt the same, it was a different feeling to see their son through their grand daughter. It hurt me too for a little bit as long as they aren’t actually treated any different I did get over that.
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I don’t think you’re over reacting.
I would definitely be hurt.
Let your boyfriend’s parents know now before you child gets hurt.
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You’re not even married into the family and they treat your child as one of their own. I think you should be happy for people that are treating you and your child so well that they are rejoicing in their other child’s first baby, which IS their first grandchild.
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Ask them flatly to not say it in front of your child.
Depending on how old your child is, they may not have gotten to experience the birth and younger baby/toddler fun. I would hope they are just oblivious to the fact of it affecting the child, and you can fix that
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I’d be pissed and each person that says it is a POS. If they can’t treat BOTH children as grandchildren and the same (and not make stupid comments like that) then they don’t get to see either child (when you have another) until they get their act together
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You need to talk to the grands when your child isn’t around. Let them know how you feel when they say things like that especially in front of your child. I get that it’s different for them to have a flesh and blood grandchild but hurting the present child’s feelings about it isn’t the way to go. If this isn’t addressed before you have their grandchild it will get worse when they ARE here. (That’s assuming you want to have a child by your SO, some don’t)
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Are they saying this in front the kid? Like, are they making her feel like she doesn’t belong?
I get how they feel if they’re just saying it to you guys……but still no….!
Cause their son is your boyfriend not your husband. You owe them nothing.
I had to deal with this. It’s toxic and i wouldn’t acknowledge it.
I’m sorry but you have to accept the fact that your child is not their grandchild. It’s wonderful that they accept your child, & I would definitely show appreciation for that, however, you are not even married into their family, so there is no guarantee that they will always be near & dear to your child.
A blood grandchild brings a bond that every grandparent dreams of. They look at that baby & see their own child, they see lost family members in that one child’s face, actions, & personalities.
Honestly, foster the bond between your child & his parents, but keep quiet on them having feelings about a blood grandchild.
That is their path, not yours.
If you decide to get married &/or give them a blood grandchild, then address the issue lightly at that time. But do not expect them to make a lifetime commitment of “grandparent” to your child when you haven’t even made a commitment to be husband & wife yet. That’s pretty unfair.
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First, it would be helpful to know how long you have been together? You need to have a talk with them and make sure that that is never said around your child. Especially if that is the only grandparents your child has ever known. They should take that into accountability as adults. It’s not reality to say they can’t be excited to have their first blood grandchild. A child doesn’t have to be blood to bring any kind of bond. Trust and believe that. I know for a fact. My child is blessed by this every day.But they should know that that’s hurtful to you and the first grandchild that’s been there all along. Good luck.
I feel you are over reacting.
- You and your boyfriend are NOT married so if you break they will never get to see this child.
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Over reacting. I met my fiancé when my son was 2. Him and his family immediately accepted my son as one of their own. When I got pregnant with my second kid, I heard the same comments as you. It didn’t mean that they didn’t view my first son as their grandkid. Just that they were excited to actually get to be there for this one. You have to realize that while your child is their grandkid, they didn’t get to be there from the beginning. They didn’t get to see the pregnancy. Feel the joy when you say the baby was born. Enjoy a newborn.
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MY question is where IS the child’s father and his family??
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I feel as of your over reacting they aren’t treating your kid badly and chances are that if you and bf were to split they wouldn’t get to see that kid ECT
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They won’t ever see your kids the same way they will see their kid’s kids.
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