I’m sorry but your man needs to step up and set some boundaries. Hw should absolutely have your back and y’all’s kids. None of that is ok.
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Im gathering the grandparents are irrelevant, it’s dad that isnt treating his kids the same. Bet my kids dont go anywhere where only 1 or 2 of them are welcomed. Get out now before they all mess your kids up.
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You’re not over reacting, the kids will end up divided because of this too, he should definitely be sticking up for his kids jus not fair for them at all.
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All of the kids should be accepted. No child should ever be left out and Any adults doing this should be ashamed of themselves. Please don’t keep subjecting your children to this. If you’ve talk to him and told him many times how it isn’t right and he still doesn’t see a problem with it then chances are he isn’t going to change.
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Why would u want to be around people that don’t treat your or your children right. Throw the whole family out including your boyfriend. He clearly doesn’t have you or your children’s best interest at heart
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Ummm fuck that. And F your boyfriend for not defending you or insisting you be included. You and ALL your kids are his family now. You all come first.
First of all. Why ain’t you married? If he isn’t man enough to step up then it’s time to move on out of his way and find someone who will accept you and your children
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No you’re not over reacting. The fact that you guys have two babies together and his family isn’t including y’all is sickening. Those are their grandbabies!!! Why wouldn’t they wanna see their own grandchildren?? Leave that man
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Since he refuses to put them in their place, he can live with them in it. Do NOT accept this disrespect, not only from them, but from him. This has been ongoing and he’s never set the boundary because he doesn’t care to. Stop having kids with the boi.
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Nope. And your boyfriend sucks for going to holiday and leaving you and his children there alone.
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Move on as it’s their problem. Just make a good life for yourself and your kids. Stuff them.
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Five years of spending holidays separate??? I’d want to know why he wants to spend it away from you and his other two kids… I wouldn’t have been ok w it. Sounds like he’s got more than one family. Either you’re all in or your not.
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Your not over reacting! I went through this exact issue with my two youngest kids. My boyfriend’s older kids got everything from the grandparents, but because the grandparents didn’t like me the kids I had with their son didn’t matter. We are no longer together and I wrote a letter to the grandparents telling them not to ask for pictures of the kids or anything else as they will not be getting them. The father does not see the kids now either. You and your kids would be alot better off without the paternal side of the family.
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His family already decided for him and he’s accepting it. It’s totally wrong and if he can’t see it then it’s time for you to move on. Idk how you’re letting this keep going
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No your not overreacting, your boyfriend should have spoken up long time ago and honestly he’s not showing you and your children respect. Who else is at the grandparents house when him and his daughter are there and not you and your children.
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You can’t control what other people do. You set your boundaries with the Grandparents and you have to accept that they have their own choices too. 
Also you can’t punish his older child just on principle to get back at the grandparents to make your point or try and manipulate the situation by using her as leverage with them to do what you want or to do the right things. She has her own relationship with her grandparents and you can’t speak for her and what’s best for her above what her father and her mother decide for her. And her grandparents treating her differently is not her doing or her responsibility. The blame is on all the adults.
I feel you wanting her Dad to step up to them has very little to do with what’s best for his daughter, your concern and focus is on your shared kids.
If you want to make things better with your in laws so your children can have a relationship with them you’ll need to try and put in the work.
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Yes I agree with the others, if after you have a heart to heart talk with him about the situation and he doesn’t agree and do something about it. Then pack your and your children up and leave. He’s not being a good role model for any of the children
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No. You’re very right. It should be a ‘you’ll see all of us or none of us attitude’. My ex fiances family tried doing crap like that when her and I had our own. Like nah, not going to be like that.
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You are right therefore your bf is the problem in allowing this to happen. A family is always a family. You don’t need to beg anyone to love your children.
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If you aren’t invited he shouldn’t go
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I’d show up an hour later with our other 2 kids…just to see what would happen. But otherwise I think you have your answer on where the relationship is heading and you should save yourself the headache, and heartache
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Your b/f needs to step up. Maybe you could all talk. So sad. Why would grandparents not want to see their own grandkids?! Some people are sick. So sorry for you & for their own blood grandchildren. Geez!
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They won’t try to have a relationship with their grandkids because you won’t let them beat them? Why would you want them around your kids at all? You know step daughter is going over there & will come back with gifts. Do something special with them. Buy them something special. As they get older they can brag to their sister.
I’ve been in a relationship that my kids never met their father’s side. We knew his dad & son. We were not allowed at his dad’s. He’d even go there & make us stay in the car. We walked over once & wasn’t allowed inside. My daughter cried she was thirsty. His dad wouldn’t even get her a drink. A relationship like this isn’t worth staying in. They make you & your kids feel like you’re less or something. They’re hiding something. In your case they’re controlling. They enjoy beating on kids & are punishing you for not allowing them to beat on yours. I’d leave the relationship. You deserve to be in a place that you are loved. The fact that he’s ok with his oldest being treated differently than his other 2 is not right. It means he values your children less. I bet if you leave he won’t even file for legal rights. Find a place to stay, even temporary. When he & his daughter are at his parents leave.
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Sounds like your kids are better off without them. Sounds like you would be better off without him lol
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No way tell your husband they see you and your children or else he should cut ties with them all the time and stand by you If not tell him he either does that and changes or else he can move in with his mother with his daughter
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My kids were blatantly left out of things the whole time I associated with their father … we would turn up to visit their grandmother to be told they can’t visit due to their sister being their … so oneday I just said I was tired of this crap . N refuse to even attend the things we were invited to…
Then have their grandmother winge to ppl she can’t see her grand kids.
Fact be known she was Invited to events, lunch, playdates ect for 2 yrs after I stopped associating with her son… she ignored my children in kmart …
Last I heard my kids were left out of their grandfathers estate after it was sold , everything my children may have been entitled to given to their sister and cousins …
Not that they need anything but ppl don’t understand why I can’t stand my exes family and their false eliteness…
Saved my kids from future abuse and narcissistic narratives
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Your BF needs to step up or be shipped out!! I wouldn’t stay with anyone that was allowing anyone to treat my kids bad, NOT even the man, they call their dad.
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Or your boots are made for walking get to stepping mom. Think of how your kids might feel
No. My husband told his mom she did not want to make him choose because he would choose me and our boys over her.
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Sorry but you don’t need that kind of man to set an example for your kids. Move on honey and get rid of that useless man. You give your kids all the love they need, and they shouldn’t feel the need of having other people’s love.
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If he’s telling you often that you’re the problem, what is he telling his parents about you? I think you need to have an open conversation and just leave everything on the table. Either they accept you and the kids because they are his too or you should walk. At some point the kids are going to be old enough to know what’s going on and start asking questions. Tell him if that’s the way he wants it to be, than he can answer the questions from HIS kids why they’re being left out of everything. You could also turn the tables on him when your family invites you to things and say, well you weren’t invited you can’t go and leave without him. He’ll either get pissed or start questioning it. Until he know what it’s like or how you AND his other children feel the problem won’t be solved
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My dad’s mother was like that she would never see me and my siblings as part of her family so she would tell us to call her by name and she loved using our help on livestock wise but then when my dad remarried to a lady that has kids she loved those kids even doe they weren’t blood and when she passed away she left them everything to remember her by and nothing for us. So there for I don’t really deal with my dad I hardly see him once a yr sometimes twice and he trys to tell me there’s this wrong with my health but I just let him use those guys the real family lol I told my brothers to back off too.
Sounds like there’s more to the story
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Definitely not tell him to man up
Not overreacting at all. It’s hurtful to be left out. Especially when it’s your kids. The biggest problem here isn’t his parents In my opinion. It’s his and the lack of loyalty to your family as a whole.
If he can’t take a stand for something so important then it sounds like it’s not important to him at all. And you have to wonder if this is what you want for your kids and your family.
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My daughter is 4 years old and my in laws hasnt seen her and they dont even try to see her , the most important part is my daughter is their only grandchild. So if they dont want to see your kids just act like they dont exist.
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You say YOUR kids alot. Maybe try saying Our kids, Our Children, their Grandchildren. My step daughter maybe forget the step and say daughter. I honestly think something fishy is happening. Would like to hear their side of the story…
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Your boyfriend is a POS if he allows this and thinks it’s ok, your the mother of his 2 children and he needs to grow some balls and tell his parents that if you and his other children aren’t welcome there that he is cutting all ties. He’s being very disrespectful to you. And your just as bad for allowing yourself and your children to be treated this way. Stand up for yourself or get rid of him, this is so disgusting
Be careful who ya getting knocked up by
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Frigg no you’re not. And ur hubby is a butthole for allowing it
Your man is worthless. I would NEVER put up with no shit.like that. Your.kids.and you deserve better
You can complain, bitch and cry . Bottom line, it’s his fault. If he objects they will change, if not YOUR battle is lost. He’s spineless
sounds like no one wants to deal with you at all
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Why are you still there? There’s better out there for you and your kids!
Make the first move and invite them to dinner. Give them ample opportunity to show their true colors. If they come, be a gracious host, especially in front of the children. If they decline without a monumentally good reason, the he needs to be a man and tell them that it’s all of the kids or none of the kids. In this scenario, he absolutely can not say that you are the problem. Good luck!
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You already know the answer… just do it! Your kids will thank you later 
They would already be picking up on his choosing to play favourites & the vibes between everyone.
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The fact you stay with this man says more about you then the post about his parents not seeing your kids and you are showing your kids it is ok.
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You are not the problem he is
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You should all be invited …if not he should be with you…
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Kick him to the curb he has no respect for you or your children.
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Your BF is the problem!!
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It’s time for him to go… If all the kids aren’t included and he doesn’t want to step up then he’s the problem
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So first off don’t say his daughter yall been together 5 years and yall got 2 others together you are feeding into they are all different now as for that I would tell her myself go to hell they are a package deal and if your man got an issue with that tell him to go to hell too
Ummm no ma’am I couldn’t and wouldn’t put with that BS
5 years 2 kids and he is still just a boyfriend 
Well maybe you don’t want to get married but his family probably see you as just a girlfriend and nothing more. I would’ve set boundaries with the first child and if they still didn’t show love to that child I would’ve packed up and left. Since you have 2 I would make it clear that they at least try to not show favoritism. Either he will step up or you may need to leave the entire situation and coparent.
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Its a tricky one. Its not fair either way however I don’t think it’s fair to cut ties with your partners daughter and her relationship with her grandparents. I get your trying to protect your kids but as a step mum Why would u want your step daughter not having a relationship with her grandparents who she is obviously close with. Why would u want to hurt your step daughter.
You can stop it with your kids but not the 1 that’s solely his…
Hell to the NO! This guy is the most insulting man I have ever heard about. How can he have a conscience and leave you all at home. Makes me bloody cringe. What a dip shit.
Yep. And I’m the queen of overreacting but this is a bit much. I can literally think of a 100 things he can be doing that are much worse
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I smoke all day everyday and I’m a mom. I don’t think it’s an issue unless it’s preventing him from being a parent, which it sounds like it is try talking to him maybe he will take a tolerance break
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You cannot stop him nor really do anything about it only decide if this is something you can live with
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He could be smoking meth so it’s not worse case Scenario
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Helps him deal with a nagging gf
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He should probably try a sativa strain, he’s prob smoking indica which can make you like a zombie. I personally don’t see an issue
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Shouldn’t be smoking any drugs near kids full stop
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I’m a mom and I smoke all day, every day.
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So what atleast hes home smh
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Really? It’s weed!
Stop overreacting
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you are correct to be concerned, It is a problem He is your BF, leave now, before it gets worst
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Ur over reacting I am a smoker and I can tell you I function better than any medication the doctor has given me. Chill out
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Leave him. It’s not going to change, been there done that with my ex.
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I had an ex like this. He chose weed over me, all the time… so I kicked him to the curb. I don’t care if there’s worse things he could be doing. There is a point where it becomes a problem. And I wouldn’t subject my daughter to it, so I made him leave.
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Fuck it hand him some alcohol it’s legal nd morally acceptable 
Sounds like he doesn’t care too much for your concerns. I’d toss him.
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My boyfriend smokes weed lol he takes really good care of the kids either way. He smokes all day everyday too! It helps him to be more patient and I notice it. Nothing wrong honestly it’s better than him smoking some crack or being addicted to alcohol
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He may be using it as a coping method for underlying issues within himself?
Leave him alone. I said what I said. Cannabis mom here 
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Maybe he can try a nice sativa to put some pep in his step. And if i were you, if ask him if there’s anything he wants to talk about. Seems like he’s escaping something. Or maybe im reading to much into it and smokes weed all day like me.lol good luck
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Why is he smoking all day? Is he treating symptoms or trying to escape? Is he functional? Would he consider using a different delivery method like edibles or tincture for longer effects with less smoking?
If you don’t agree with cannabis use then don’t be with someone that does use it.
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I smoke everyday and multiple times a day. I do my everyday activities effectively with my kids and in my opinion I’m less anxious but more aware… everyone is different
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Tell him there the door
Lmfao shut tf up, yes your over reacting
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I don’t see it as a problem bc it’s weed. I’d smoke all day everyday if I could afford to as well. But you have to decide for you if it’s smthg you can live with. And if you want to break your family up over weed.
No u are not over reacting. Only smokers would tell it’s ok. It’s not ok to be a zombie or to smoke all the time. Its call an addiction.
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Dont be with a smoker if you wanna be extra like that
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Giro that’s normal & he functioning jus fine be worried wen he stop cuz u really gonna zone him out
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Okay…so I dont personally smoke…BUT I know parents who do and are so much more patient and such with their littles. 
Not to mention WORK and relationships as well…
All the “pot heads” be happy, eating food…doing their thing like “It is what it is.”
While I’m freaking out over every aspect of life.
Maybe you should try smoking with him more often…
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Are you his mom or girlfriend, jeez…
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If he’s a functional stoner… I don’t see a problem… but if he’s not doing what he’s supposed to… then he needs help…
I smoke 24/7… I start smoking at 6 am all day long until I go to sleep… I’m a single mother of three… and I do everything I gotta do without a problem
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Some people smoke to ease their mental health issues. I know people who have had traumatic upbringings and now smoke weed just like that. Some people will never give up on the pot lol, that I’ve learned over the years. Not sure what you can do besides reconsider the relationship itself.
It’s not the fact that he smokes, it’s the fact he has to stay high throughout the day… if it doesn’t effect his responsibility as a parent, boyfriend, or worker he’s fine… my mother in law does it and functional
Nothing you can do unless you leave.
Lol yea listen to the people saying kick him to the curb that outa fix things right up
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Yes you are overreacting calm down. The moment you cross the line to being a person that’s antiweed and not overreacting too overreacting was when you started worrying about him not being able to take care of the kids. There are plenty of us hardcore weed smokers that take care of our kids perfectly fucking find sit down Karen…
It’s weed… Not crack. Chill out.
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Also a smoking mom who raised 4 kids successfully. I smoke before I go anywhere including before family stuff. It could be alcohol or pills or meth or heroine. You should relax and be grateful.
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Everyone saying it’s not a big deal, stop over reacting, is outrageous to me. It is a concern between their relationship. Not yours. She should be able to talk to him, and if he loves her, he should try coming to an agreement, or atleast try slowing down.
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If you’re not comfortable with it and you’re voicing to him that you have concerns about it especially around the kids yet he doesn’t care then that shows he doesn’t respect your feelings or where you are coming from as a parent. Communication is such a huge thing in parenting and relationships and if there isn’t any compromise or understanding then it’s best to walk away because unless both people are willing to respect each other’s feelings it will not get better.
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