no i dont blame you my kids had things that meant a lot to them n didnt want other kids playing with them so that is how it was they did pick out toys n stuff they didnt mind other kids to play with they have a right to have special personal things that no one touched n i respected that
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She has her rules it’s HER HOUSE. Either don’t move in and figure out something else… Or move in and share the one room with your kid. As you said it’s just to get caught up on things… it’s temporary.
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Ignore the perfect people on this thread.
You’re moving in to get a leg up. That doesn’t mean your stuff or your kid’s stuff needs to be destroyed or be exposed to the possibility of it. Your child has a right to their own privacy and personal belongings, as do you.
If I were you, I would reconsider this.
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I completely agree with you. With in months of buying toys for my daughters birthday and christmas. Alot of them got broke due to other kids. Where as i allowed them to play with them. And they got broke. Any special toys to me or toys i do not want broke will be put up or the parent will be held reliable to replace it. Its not crazy of you. And for anyone to expect to keep replacing toys when toys are expensive. They can eff off.
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First off I’m sorry about any shade that’s being thrown your way. I don’t believe that you’re teaching your child to be selfish if they’re sharing other toys. And honestly, everyone has the right to a few personal items they don’t share, including kids! Of course they should share the majority but some should be their own personal items. Secondly, yes the other kids should feel comfortable coming over. But it’s different when you’re going to grandmas and when grandmas is home. 
. I see major red flags. Seriously reconsider how badly you need to save that money !
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Why are you buying toys so expensive that they can’t be shared with other kids?
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Yea moving in sounds like a not good idea…
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Nope I do the same same thing with my daughter she’s 7( almost 8 and when I have people over who have kids she knows to put up the toys she doesn’t want touched or broke . But me personally I wouldn’t do it since there seems to be tension already .
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If this is going to be a short stay…you share a room with your child and keep a few items for him to play with in the room you both share and keep important stuff in storage, not there…the spare room can be for her grandchildren to share with thier toys…get everything out of storage after you move into your own home…problem solved
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Remember…this is her house, and it’s going to be her rules. If you don’t like that, you better find another place.
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I’d put the toys up too. However, it’s their house and if the grandparents really wanted they could make you share a room with your child and have that spare room available for their other grandchildren to play in when they visit. You can control your belongings but you can’t control anything else really.
Kids should have certain things they care about only to themselves.
It actually creates a more satisfying enjoyment of sharing tots w others.
But, it’s her home. And you shouldn’t put more concern into things bc it’s more $$- he should learn to have more concern about an item or things that he cares and is attached to.
I do think each child should have things that s just theirs . You could put the toys away before the others come over and have ones that your child knows they all share and play together that’s sharing. Even grown ups has things that they don’t share . But if she’s that way maybe y’all shouldn’t move in and just pay things as you can because I’m feel she may allow the other kids to go through yours things with out permission and that’s disrespectful. They shouldn’t be allowed in your room .You’re right in thinking of your child . I feel the in law may let them do as they wish and then their’d be trouble . And your husband should work and help pay for things too. Good luck I’ll be praying for you to make right choose . If u have too , though just use the one room and get out on y’all’s own ASAP
Is it possible to keep any of his stuff in the room with you? That way the kids arents seeing it and he can just take what he wants out as needed? I understand both sides of this.
I agree that ur child shouldn’t have to share all of their personal belongings….i think u should just share a room with ur child….it’s her house and it’s only temporary….it also teaches the child that sometimes u have to sacrafice(in this case he would be sacrificing his room)….believe me ….giving him his own room is gonna cause nothing but problems with the inlaws
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You can afford pricey toys but not your own place ? Priorities???
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Please stay somewhere else 
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From what I read… they were offered a place to stay but feel entitled to more. Am I the only one that sees this?
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So your kid has expensive things but you need to move into your in-laws to catch up financially?!?!!
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My friends and family don’t come into my house and help themselves to my stuff. Why should it be ok for other family members kids to come and destroy my kids stuff? Even if I am living with my family, my things that I have put up are my own private property. Even if they share a room respect for other people’s things should absolutely be taught early.
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It isn’t your house. Don’t like what she wants- find another place to stay.
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I think everyone is thrown off because you keep repeating how pricey your kids items are so it sounds more materialistic instead of it being about your child’s personal space
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Ask her this-
As an adult do you have to share your personal belongings with other people? If someone else wanted your car because they didn’t have one, would you be made to let them use it? If someone wanted to use your brand new lawn mower because they broke their own, would you be made to let them use yours? No? Okay then. Sorry, but kids don’t need a separate set of rules from adults. We are raising our children to be good, functioning adults. That means they should have similar if not the same rules as adults to prepare them for being adults. Preparing them for adulthood means also teaching them to say NO, even if others don’t like it. If your neighbor trashes their belongings and then asks to borrow yours because theirs is ruined/broken, do you let them? Hell no, they should have taken care of theirs and they will likely ruin yours too. Sorry but no. Just no. Just because she thinks sharing is best, doesn’t mean that you need to. And you stated that some toys will be left for the other kids to play with. The other children existing and being allowed to play with some toys doesn’t entitle them to play with all of your sons toys. Not even sorry. Your kids belongings that you paid for with your money, means your rules.
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I swear people are so entitled nowadays.
It’s obvious that you and your husband have fell upon hard times, I mean it happens. 
Your in-laws are nice enough to let you stay with them, I’m guessing free of charge because you didn’t mention paying them anything. So HOW are you going to dictate what happens in their house?
Okay your child has expensive things that you don’t want other kids to play with. If that’s how you feel, that’s your choice and it’s fine. YOUR money, YOUR rules. Now you want your child to have HIS OWN room in THEIR house. 
It seems they’re trying to accommodate everyone in THEIR house. They have other grandkids that they want to feel comfortable when they come over there. So to save any future confusion she wants that room open to ALL of the kids. Just like you make your rules, she has a right to hers. See you’re only worried about your child’s comfort and she’s worrying about all of the kids.
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No, you have every right to put them there are kids that are destructive.
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Get your own place, you’ll have your own rules there.
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They are offering you a place to stay, if you don’t want to go by their rules or you feel your son’s stuff would get broken, either 1.) Don’t stay there or 2.) Put his pricey stuff in a storage unit til you go back to a place of your own.
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I never would’ve worded it like that. I would put things you don’t want broken in storage boxes until you move into your own place
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Allot of you guys are trash cause why are you shaming this women when you don’t know her situation entirely? If she’s on hard time financially then it makes sense that she wouldn’t want specific more expensive things being ruined. What if she or her husband lost a really good job and could no longer afford their mortgage? Covids been hard for everyone and the transition after I’d gonna be hard as well. She’s not staying she leaves the toys for the other children to see them and cry over she puts things up and away so they’re not broken or ruined. Which she is 100% entitled to do. If her MIL feels this way then should she also be able to enter & exit her son’s room in the house for the mean time as she pleases? Use her hair brush? Towels? Tooth brushes? No because there are some things that are just YOURS and there’s nothing selfish about it.
I get that staying with the in-laws would help you in the situation your in
And in one way I can understand about keeping his things looking nice
But honestly why buy a toy if your kid can’t play with it
Or show his friends and the other grandkids
All toys are going to get broken at some point
So yeah as a Nan myself
I can understand their point of view
Can you perhaps find another family member or friend that put you and your kids up
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Rent a storage shed. There are kids in this country living in their parents cars or in shelters. Some even on the streets. You are lucky to have someone to help you. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. If you don’t want specific things played with don’t bring them. I assume you’ll be storing your furniture, keep the toys with them.
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So does that mean you can play:use with all her stuff? You don’t want her to turn out selfish
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Id keep the sharing toys in your child’s room and their special toys in yours. Or share one room and make the other a play room for them all. Not sharing some things does not make your child selfish when they are willing to share other toys. They are entitled to have things they dont want others to use just the same as adults
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Your mil doesn’t understand the concept of boundaries. I’d find another housing option.
Xoxo
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It’s your kid and it’s your choice. I lived with my in laws while we caught up on health bills. It was a good experience but I would never do it again honestly. I am so grateful for them. We all just need our space.
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No you are not over reacting,put the items in your room closet not the child’s closet this way everything in the child’s room can be played with …My daughter was gifted a expensive precious moments doll and I kept it out of reach when other children came over to play
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I may be the only one thinking this but why should your son get his own room? What happens when the other grandkids come over now? They don’t have a place to sleep now because they are helping u and your family out? They should keep the other room for any other guest including the other grandkids. I mean if they don’t come over often already I understand but if they do that’s not fair at all. Put the expensive toys up. How would she even know that they weren’t out unless u said something? Feel you’re making a bigger deal about this when it’s an easy fix. Just put the stuff up.
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Kids don’t have to share…of course teach them to be kind and nice and share things…if they want to. But, as an adult, how many things do you share with other people?
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You will learn, material things don’t mean anything. Plus it’s so much more fun when you can play with others. So your mother in law is 
right!
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Is this your first child? If so it is normal to feel this way . lol After my first it didn’t matter.
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Maybe a compromise is necessary here. This would only be a temporary thing right? So accommodating her with the bedrooms situation to where the other kids would be comfortable to stay, whatever that may be, would be more logical and respectful on your end, simply because you are being offered a place to stay. Which changes everyones way of living, not just you or her. now the toy thing, that’s a whole new ballgame. The only toys that should be shared or considered “community toys” should only be the ones you select. The other toys you don’t want messed with, keep in your room when there’s company. And if grandma has an issue with that then she needs to purchase the “community toys” so all the grandkids can play with them. You treat the toys the same as if you were living in your own home, if certain ones aren’t allowed for others then everyone needs to respect that. Just because you move in does not make your child’s property everyone else’s.
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She shouldn’t be trying to tell you how to parent.
I highly recommend NOT staying there with her because you’re going to be unhappy. Better to struggle in your own home than to live miserably in someone else’s.
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How about bringing only a few toys out at a time, rotate toys in and out. And when the other grandkids come over, sit on the floor and play with them… Teaching them to play appropriately with the toys. Rotating the toys is great to do with children. They keep interest in them longer, they dont get bored playing with the same toys daily. Maybe the other grandkids’parents dont play with their children which could be the cause of them being careless with the toys.
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I would not move in that house. I understand it may help your situation but she’s giving me red flags as a monster in law just hiding… Your child does NOT have to share EVERYTHING to be considered selfless, that’s just teaching him no matter who wants what he has, he HAS to give it to them. That’s not teaching proper boundaries
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That’s a big no. You’re not crazy. It’s your things & sounds like a control issue with you living in their house. I wouldn’t move there.
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Well lets be real you are living with THEM so if they chose not to allow his own room thats on THEM since it is their home! Maybe if you dont like their rules then move out and get your own place? I dont understand how people think they can move into someone elses home and think they can try to run things…it doesnt work like that boo if you want your kids to have their own room then GET YOUR OWN PLACE!! Futher more your grown and have kids so you shouldnt be moved in someone elses home… and no im not trying to be rude im speaking facts! Dont like their rules get your own place!
Seriously…it’s her house…she’s doing you a favor!
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Some toys are meant to be shared. Other toys are special to each child and should be kept that way.
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Like, Um I don’t know, maybe he doesn’t think the toys are as preciouses as you do. Like, maybe you should think of someone other than, like yourself for once. Like, maybe stop spending so much, like, on toys and like maybe you’d have money to , like, pay bills.
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You’re not overreacting. My husband has two kids from a previous marriage and they don’t take care of ANYTHING. messy, lazy, you name it! I hide a lot of stuff and my husband gets pissed at me. Then he doesn’t want to buy pricey stuff bc “it’ll just get destroyed or lost.” and I believe in spending the money for the best stuff and take good care of and it will last their entire childhood. Or else my husband wants my two kids to play with their old broken toys and games with missing pieces, bc" why buy a new one when we already have that?" um, bc I want my kids to have new stuff and learn to take care of their stuff and PUT IT AWAY when done. So I totally agree with you on this. Super frustrating. And I’m running out of hiding spots so some of the toys are at my parents house, which thankfully my mom agrees with me.
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You can’t raise your child in someone else’s house! Seems like you need to catch up on things in your own space. Maybe start with cutting back on expensive toys 
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If I was about to move into someone else’s home, I’d try to take up as little space as possible. Not get mad over possible scenarios about materialistic items.
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Put the expensive toys is storage or ask someone you trust to hang on to them?
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You sound highly immature, and spoiled. So no wonder you want your children to be spoiled as well. If you want to set your own boundaries then be a grown up and have your own place.
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I want him to have vs. I would like him to have… makes such a difference.
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Do not move into the house!!. Save yourself now… you think that’s bad already and you don’t even live there yet, trust me that’s not even the tip of that gigantic ice burg. Oh Hell Nah, nope.
Her house her rules.
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It’s not even your house and you want to make changes smh be grateful you have a roof while you guys “figure things out” 
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I swear with all the money you’ll be saving by living at your in laws and not providing for yourselves…you should be able to afford storage for all those expensive toys your child requires.
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Or maybe you should learn how to share
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Why are you even considering moving in???bad move. Your already at each other. Yes your right about the room. Its her house dont do it.
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I would put them up if you don’t want them broken. Your aloud to feel and voice how you feel. I don’t feel as your overreacting. Your child knows how to share so it’s not like your doing anything wrong with putting the toys away.
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Nope, totally understandable. Yes, I’d do the same too
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How I wish I had done that with others … kids destroyed some of my kids’ favorite things.
By all means, put valuables up - they are yours and mom honestly should not have a say … no matter who paid for them -
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Look I understand wanting to keep certain toys away from other kids, ones you can’t replace if you know the kids are destructive, but if you are living there and it’s not your house, you dont get to say what the arrangements are. Shes helping you. If she wants you to sleep in the walk in closet and your son in the room the closet is attached to, thats what you do or you don’t move in
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It’s like not even your house
But like are they going to be there every second of like every day to make sure you like 100% following their rules
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So, your mother in law is letting you move in with her, in her home, so that you’re able to catch up on things? So she’s doing you TWO favors right there - giving you a place to live and making it possible for you to catch up on your things. Now, I’m sure you’ll help out while there, but by adding 3 people to your household, all household expenses go up. When someone does something for you, out of the kindness of their heart, expecting little to nothing in return, you don’t get to make demands. I promise you that your child does not care about putting special toys away so he doesn’t have to share them with his cousins. Those are probably the toys he wants to share most. If it’s that important to you, pack that stuff away until you’re back on your own.
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I had a daycare in home at one time. There are daycare toys and personal toys. Toys don’t have to be spendy to be favorites. However I’d apply for housing or gov help before moving in with ANY FAMILY. Never ends well. Trust me…best of luck.
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It’s so hard to live in another woman’s home. Yes, her house her rules. But get a storage put away the things of value. Provide toys that have no emotional value and can be thrown away or left behind when you move into your house. Or simply don’t stay there and ruin your relationship with or your in law’s.
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What are these expensive toys? I mean I buy 95% of my kiddos toys besides what is gifted from Xmas and birthdays and if I was moving in with my in laws which we don’t get along at all but I wouldn’t stop kids from playing with my children’s toys are they that destructive ? Have u seen ? Or do u just not want anyone to touch your sons stuff?
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I always put up things I didn’t want my cousins breaking when they came over and I teach my son the same thing. As an adult you don’t have to share anything so sharing is a weird concept to teach children anyways in my opinion.
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Stop buying the kid expensive things so you can afford to live on your own? Kids don’t NEED expensive things. They just want them.
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How is that teaching him to be selfish?? That teaching him to take good care of his stuff in my opinion!! I did it when i was young hell i still that way lol and i say it to my daughter too . Ill say hey we have friends coming over if you dont want a certain toy or a certain toy give it to me so i can put it out!! Cuz i do hide certain toys that my daughter has away cuz most of the timenits the expensive LeapFrog or vtec toy that easily can break
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You are teaching your son 2 valuable lessons 1) how to share 2) how to keep people from taking advantage of him. When he’s older, he can learn to just tell them, “no.”
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Your aloud to do that. If she doesn’t like it then don’t move in.
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I understand everyone saying your in laws are doing you a favor… but this situation isn’t your child’s fault. Why are his cousins just entitled to his more valuable toys because he’s staying with grandma!? Does he not deserve anything for himself now that you need help? Don’t his cousins have their own room and own toys where THEY live!? You’re child is literally going to be living there and should feel like his stuff is safe no matter where he’s living. It’s disrespectful to your child to just assume that everything he owns is fair game to whoever enters the home. If that’s the rule, don’t move in and don’t do that to your child.
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That is so not fair to expect your son to share everything. I don’t even make my kids share everything. They each have something that means something to them they never have to share. My oldest is 15… he doesn’t share his cell phone. My 12 year old doesn’t have to share his tablet. My 2 and one year old are super attached to their blankets and I will never make them share those things. They’re people like us. Would she be ok with sharing EVERYTHING of hers because I seriously doubt it. Favor or not. That’s not the child’s fault.
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This has more to do with the fact they are letting her stay there but she thinks her child deserves his own room. But yet she can’t financially provide that herself. And that extra room belongs to ALL the grandchildren. How is that fair?
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We are not communist. Some things are ours. Some things belong to others. We are taught and are to teach that. We are taught and are to teach to share. But we have the choice of what to share. If all things are community property we have given up one of our most precious rights. The right to be generous. If we do not learn to exercise that right with prudence; we lose all we have of which we can chose to share.
This sounds like “too many hens in the henhouse” syndrome… Do not move in or your relationship with her will turn awful! I’ve been here before… adult women have a hard time living together because you both want control or to do things the way you do it, especially in the kitchen, decorating, or with children… She is afraid of losing her control, why she’s making a big issue. I remember (at the time), huge fights with my mother in law over which cycles on the washer & dryer to use & food/cooking… stuff that shouldn’t even be a fight! But once we moved out, we then got along. It gets tough when two women live together! And yes you do have a right to put expensive things up when kids come over! We all do that when our kids are little just so something doesn’t get broken…
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Please teach your child to take care of his things. That includes limiting who is allowed to play with them. Otherwise you end up with a teen who feels they have to provide for everyone & is easily walked over. Also he’s not going to take good care of things if he knows his cousins are just going to break them. If MIL has a problem with it so be it. Tell her that he’s not her child.
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He will learn to Value things that are important to him!
Sweetie when you get your own place - it’ll be your house your rules. As it sit - her house her rules. Out of respect , young one.
If it was my house I’d probably tell you if you don’t like it don’t let the door bang ya on the way out. 
besides all this - she’s your in-law - not your Momma:heart:
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this is you’re in laws house NOT YOURES and you’re already ready starting to make demands maybe if you stop buying these “expensive toys” you would be able to afford you’re bills or simply DONT MOVE IN……!
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You are staying with them put the child’s things up till you get your own place.
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Bloody hell
This hurt my head 
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Simple. Get out of there asap
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Okay, nicely, this is not your home… So whatever the owner says goes. Secondly, teaching your child about the quality of their things will help them understand. Lastly, it’s just materials… They don’t matter. Why would you spend “a lot” on money on a CHILD’S toy. They may, more than likely, tear it up just as fast as someone else. I understand that you buy pretty much everything, but when you living with someone else, you usually have to share things such as toys with other children.
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Lol ur priorities sound off lol maybe if you were as worried about your situation as you are taking care of your child’s expensive toys you wouldn’t have to worry about it plus kids love to show off their favorite toys to others kids esp their cousins like show an tell fun experiences an memories with family are more important than expensive stuff … get a storage unit if you feel that strongly otherwise don’t move in
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Oh, my house, my rules… if you need to live there then you need to adjust. I love all of my grandkids equally. If you can afford expensive toys then you can afford your own place. I would never let you make the rules in my house. Maybe, I’m old school, but if you have rules don’t bring them to my house.
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If the room you’ll be staying is big enough, just share it. Keep your child’s toys in there and make it a no-go zone for his cousins. I’ve had to share with my son when we were living with my sister. They’ve offered you a place to live while ya get ya self sorted so I wouldn’t push to claim the 2nd room as well. If your son has some older toys then maybe they can get left out to share.
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Out of sight out of mind, they don’t know it’s there if it’s not in sight before they arrive! Everyone should have special personal items and toys ! 
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Children are not obligated to share just because they are children. It’s an old way of thinking. However, if there are toys that you don’t want other children to play with, then you should keep them put away in your room rather than his.
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Like like like I can’t even follow this
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My kids have toys in their rooms that are just theirs only. Whenever we have guest I tell my oldest to put his toys that he doesn’t want to share in his room and to close the door. I tell him though that if he opens his door to his bedroom that he can.
She’s saying the grandma is stating that ALL of the child’s toys should be accessible to the other grandchildren. The grandma is saying if op puts up some of her kids valued toys for him to only play with, when the others aren’t there, so it don’t get broken is selfish. And it’s not
My kid has a tablet. My friends kids can play with any other toy in my sons room but when they are over, the tablet gets put up. No other kid can play with his tablet. It’s not selfish. 1. I’m teaching him to value and respect his things and 2. I’m preventing any other kid from accidentally breaking it and then the parents not being able to replace it and it being an issue.
Op is reasonable. Whether it’s her house or not. She bought the things for her kid, and if she doesn’t want others messing with it then she has every right to put it up in the closet. Not selfish. Grandma is selfish and wrong. Grandma things it won’t make the other kids feel welcome? Like what? There’s other toys. Excuses. Seems she’s favoring the other grandkids and trying to teach them to be entitled. “I want it so I get it” and that’s a no when the grandma didn’t buy it.
Now if grandma bought it, different story. But op said op bought it all so no. They can put up the valuables, the other kids can just play with the other toys like ops son, and grandma can get over herself. And stop using the “it’s my house” excuse. It may be her house but those aren’t her things and she doesn’t get to offer them help by having them stay their (with whatever arrangement) and them hold it over their heads. That’s toxic.
Op, put the toys up. You are being completely reasonable and she can just get over herself. She did not buy them. They aren’t her things. Stand your ground. Girl luck girl!
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If the stuff you are buying him is that nice then maybe you shouldn’t be buying him those things and worry about saving that money so that you can work on getting your own house.
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wow how do any of u know her situation. She could’ve bought the expensive stuff when she wasn’t hurting for money. You know this country has taken a huge shit and prices have sky rocketed the last year so who are u to say if she can afford expensive things she can afford her own place.
Last year I could afford to get my kid anything this year I left a bad relationship and now have to save for a place so money is tight… Don’t judge and be rude when u don’t know the full story. My kid has expensive things that her cousins can’t touch they get put up…
Her wanting to keep expensive things safe and in good condition isn’t a rule it’s so her son has things that stay good cause she can’t afford to just keep buying them if someone else destroys them…
Stop buying expensive toys. Use the money for your own place! Your child is not obligated to share. I cannot believe both you and your mom in law are arguing over a situation that hasn’t really occurred.
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They are only young for a VERY short time. Let them enjoy all the toys before they outgrow them.
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