24 years and you still get upset about catching him out on it. Is it him crossing a boundary or is it you not accepting that he enjoys watching others do it? You would have left him a long time ago if it really bothered you surely. Would you rather him watch it behind your back or would you prefer him being open to you about it? Accept it, that way you won’t get as upset about it. Maybe watch some with him and see what he likes to watch, maybe you could get some understanding of the situation. 24 years is a long time.
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When he falls into the pit of sex hell…don’t go with him…there they can not stop having sex and are bleeding and crying but never once will they call upon the Lord for help…it’s a real place and if he doesn’t want to listen to you …he will learn the hard way…
It’s just porn, women look at it too, he’s not cheating so what’s the deal? Sounds like you have some insecurities you need to work on love.
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You are allowed to have boundaries, and this man repeatedly crosses them. It’s not going to work out.
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Biblically speaking porn is a gateway for the devil to enter the marriage and have his way. I would encourage repentance church fasting don’t put him down for it it is the devil but he is allowing the devil to possess his mind when a man of God should have self control. God bless you
I don’t understand why some women are uncomfortable with their men watching porn, me personally imma light a blunt and suggest what type of porn we finna watch.
These comments got me hollering, yall funny af 
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There are counselors that specialize in sexual therapy for couples. I agree with some of the other comments. Maybe there is fulfillment he is missing in the actual act with you that he’s living out through the videos. If you all have just stayed in the vanilla realm all these years I can understand that. This is something you all need to talk about like what does he like about the movies? If you’re willing say ya know is there things you want to try. Enjoying each other and open honest communication is key here for both parties. I mean you may think that the sex is fantastic and has been from the get go but if you both open up things could be better for both of you. But if you’re spazzing out on him about it then it’s telling him 1)this is something I should hide 2) this is not something she’s open to 3) she isn’t willing to be open to other possibilities. Talk to him, watch with him, discuss things he may want or need in your sexual relationship.
I didn’t like it at the beginning of my relationship with my partner, but now I try put my own thoughts to a side as porn makes me feel like shit and makes me think my body is awful but my partner watches it for quick release and that’s it. He’s still sexually active with me and that’s the only time I’ll bring it up as a issue is if I found out he’d turned me down or decided to watch porn instead of sex with me. But porn is just porn, it doesn’t show the real side of sex like queefing or farting or struggling to get into another position gracefully… 
If it’s daily and at inappropriate times then yes you have the right to speak to him but if it’s not then I don’t think you should have a issue.
Interesting I bet he would look at it differently IF YOU started to watch (or pretend to ) porn with all the guys had Bigger “D” then him… 
Maybe if you both watch a flick together, it puts you in the mood and later have some awesome intimacy time. This could be a win win.
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Obviously you are not okay with him watching and that is your right. If he can’t stop and seek help then maybe you need to move along. If he isn’t willing to do things for you to make you feel secure then no it won’t work out. Just because most these people on here are okay with porn doesn’t mean you need to and don’t feel like you have to compete with your husband looking at trash on the internet.
Girl, I’m sorry! It hurts. It feels like he is taking his needs to these “perfect” women instead of you. You feel imperfect because of his bad choices and lack of self control. Don’t believe these lies!!!
I’ve been in your shoes. Praise God after expressing my feelings to him (kind of gave him an ultimatum) he stopped. If he hasn’t, he’s become a pro at hiding it because I haven’t caught him or even seen any sign of it in over 13 years.
I sure hope you can get some closure.
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If you need to talk and work out your relationship. He could just be doing it because he might want a little satisfaction in the sense that he watches it but doesn’t want to participate. Also it could be the fact that maybe you and him are lacking and he wants a little more he’s just got to talk and work it out communication is key in anything you doing life.
I feel ya. I go through the same. I just cope with it on my own… If he doesn’t care how I feel about it, why should I care about anything at all… Good luck 
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Its porn. Get over it. 
I do not know why some women are so insecure that their husbands watching porn is the end of the damn world be happy he isn’t off cheating he is home watching Porn big deal let him. It does not mean he loved you any less at all or he does not desire you. It’s just porn
Why are people laughing, it’s not even funny? I’m sorry you’re going through this x
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There are MANY concerns that arise out of a pornography addiction. It absolutely destroys relationships and can destroy the one addicted. Ask him to get some serious counseling for this. If he refuses you need to make a decision. Good luck.
It’s porn girl move around please watch it with him or let him stroke in peace
Idk why people are laughing at this. Just because some women are okay with their man watching porn, doesn’t mean ALL women are okay with it. And that’s perfectly fine. Boundaries are boundaries.
I never really understand what most women (not all) hang ups are on porn or really being afraid of your own sexual desires. I really do believe it is some way what religious belief one woman may have. Case in point : I’m 35, Idgaf what my man is watching. Hell I love watching a man fuck a woman…or a woman with a woman or other things. Why is it wrong? Imo it’s really hot. I’m free to express any sexual desire that may come to pass. Why don’t you try that? Be the goddess you are meant to be. If he’s not cheating on you with women/another woman I’d count my blessings at porn. But, again it doesn’t bother me.
He has been with you 24 years I don’t think he’s running off. Porn isn’t that bad unless that’s all he looks at and doesn’t pay attention to you at all.
You could always spice things up by watching with him. Just my opinion tho I don’t think porn is bad🤷🏻♀️
It sounds like you’re battling his desires, not him. And that’s important to realize. I had issues for a long time with this in my relationship and had to look inward, sometimes I still have to. Why does this upset me? Do I feel like I’m not enough? Do I feel like I have to compete? Do I feel morally opposed? And if the answer to any of these questions is yes, it’s time to dig deeper… Why?
I’m not saying don’t be upset, but settle into your emotions and understand them. If you hit a point in your personal questioning where you find you just can’t accept his view over yours, then yes, it’s time to move on. But, if like me, you can find it’s your own insecurities, then it’s time to address those so you both can continue to live together happily. Good luck!
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men love porn they get to live out their fantasies some men would rather watch porn then save their marriage
Try Watching it yourself in together
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Yes, you are overreacting. I mean your entitled to feel the way you feel but, seriously don’t sweat porn. It’s not real. Brush that shit off, it’s not a big deal.
We as women have our porn. Why is it ok for us to watch 50 shades of grey or broke back mountain or other shows like that but a man can’t watch porn. Sit your asses down and watch it with them… or deal with it.
Why don’t you watch it together? My husband and I do all the time! Your never to old to learn some new moves! We have literally hundreds of porns! Their erotic as all hell!
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I’m dealing with he same thing for 20 years now… so I get it.
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My husband watches porn…… doesn’t bother me…. Are they feeding, fucking, or financing him or me? Nahhhh so I’m not worried about it.
I don’t see watching porn as hurtful. As long as he is not actually involved with other women in real life I wouldn’t worry about it and like someone else mentioned I would watch it with him it could be a good experience for both of you
Watching porn is not cheating, holy shit. Who cares if he watches. Do u get mad if he masturbates? Do u masturbate? Why do u feel this is a problem? I think it’s time for some inner reflection
Better porn than cheating id try and watch it together maybe spice up the sex life 24 years a long time to throw away over some porn
Be thankfull he aint at a bar fucking someone… porn is nothing there basically not real people your hubby going to meet… watch it with him have some fun with it.
Throw him away there is no saving him. Smh. U have been telling him for 24 years. For 24 years he has hid it from u. 24 years of u catching him watch it. I would say at this point either accept it or leave him.
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Mine does it all the time and I’ve stopped caring. He’s never gonna get that so let him. (This is my relationship not yours lol you obviously think differently) but he’s also gotta give you what you need. So long as your needs are met then I don’t see a problem
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If he is looking at porn and not going out cheating that is one thing. When he stops looking and cheats is when I would be worried about it.
I can’t believe some of you would say throw him away!? After 24 years!!? No! You don’t throw away a marriage because of porn. I understand that this can be hurtful to you, I’m guessing you’re feeling like you’re not enough for him, I get that feeling. But don’t throw away your marriage. Just keep working at it with him… try embracing his wants too… maybe try watching it with him to see what he likes or why he’s into it. Maybe he’s trying to learn moves to make you happier. You never know unless you watch with him. You both need to meet in the middle.
When I catch my husband watching porn, I apologize, quietly walk out and leave him be 🤷 I really don’t give a shit. But I guess if it bothers you then he’s crossing your boundaries & you know what you need to do.
Creo q exageras,a mí no me agrada tampoco ese tipo de películas pero si él lo disfruta no creo le haga,ni te haga daño q lo haga
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I dont see an issue watching a bit of porn. I watch it myself when I feel and so does my partner. I think it’s pretty normal
I’m sorry you feel this way even though I don’t understand. I feel like this is more of an issue for you to work out.
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You’re overreacting… It’s healthy for a man to masturbate. It’s healthy for a woman to masturbate.
I think about Tom Hardy and Jason Mamoa when I do… So I mean 🤷
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It’s abusive and disgusting and cheating if you are not on board. Don’t listen to ANY one who tells you it’s just something men do. All men don’t do anything except eat sleep and breathe. You have a right to be the only woman in his life and if he cannot or will not stop, you need help and have a decision to make.
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And also don’t listen to the women who threw their hands up. They settled and it is not the answer.
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Maybe watch it with him every now and then . This is normal for a man. It’s part of human nature. Tell him to put the phone and angle show you what he learned from watching it. Have some fun with it. Would you rather him talk to other females or watch porn?
Mary Ann is single, she doesn’t get it lol
Girl, this is NORMAL. If he was looking at local girls who personally sent him nudes, then yes I’d be upset. But these are women he will NEVER meet in real life. Masturbating is completely normal for men and women. There is nothing wrong with fantasizing. I’m sure you’ve done it. Just let him get it out of his system, it’s not cheating, idc what anyone says lol
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It is a natural thing for many men why don’t u just let him be. Why are you trying 2 change him. Let him be. Would you rather him keep hiding it from you. It is nothing bad.
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Counseling and perhaps addiction counseling. Or ask him n to do it in private
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You must be exhausted!! 24 years of feeling like you’re not enough. I understand. He obviously doesn’t care about you.
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every relationship has boundaries, and respecting those boundaries are essential in maintaining a healthy relationship.
honestly after 24 years of being together, I would say perhaps the best course of action is to (if you haven’t already) reiterate what those boundaries are and be clear and firm… or if it is something that has done significant/irreparable damage to your relationship with him, maybe look into forming a support network and separating from him.
I personally know how hard it is to deal with something like this (albeit I’ve never been married, only engaged). I am a victim of CSA, and I was also s3xually abus3d by my then-fiancé while we were together… and porn (combined with gaslighting and manipulation) was part of that abus3. it caused me a LOT of issues, especially since I had a very negative relationship with my body.
i also saw my own grandmother going through exactly what you went through (and it ended up my grandfather is a very perverted person and has a history with being inappropriate with women and girls- I am not implying at all that your husband is the same, I am only relaying the things that I went through and witnessed). he had a porn addiction and they regularly fought, especially because he was the type to make promises and break them and then turn around and use religion vs. humanity as an excuse to act the way he did, and then manipulated her into thinking he changed by making a big show of breaking down crying praying in church. they have two adult children (my uncle and mother), one of which no longer speaks to them or visits anymore because he was so disgusted with the way my grandfather conducts himself.
you are perfectly valid in the way you feel, no doubt about that. and I want you to know you aren’t alone. at the end of the day, if you feel that it is causing you too much emotional turmoil to stay by his side and married to him, please leave. there is no single person worth going through that for.
No, you are not over reacting. I have so many friends who say this is happening at their house. They don’t know what to do either.
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No you are NOT overreacting at all. If it is something that hurts you and you have communicated that to him and it continues then there is something wrong with that.
If you need to reach out to someone who has been there please private message me. I don’t have all the answers but I understand where you are coming from.
Please do not let anyone make you feel like you’re overreacting or that you should change how you feel to keep your husband’s attention.
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Pornography Addiction is a thing. Read up on it and you will see how you aren’t alone.
I don’t see a issues unless it is effecting ur sexual life with him.
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Normal for men to look at porn. No different than women reading romance novels. Let him be. Watch with him if want! No big deal.
It’s just porn… Watch it with him…
Ur lucky he’s watching it an not going out to gt it… Gzzz lady settle down.
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Sounds like the TWO of you are lacking are lacking an openess to express how you need and want to be pleased sexually. Find out( genuinely and calmly or it’s pointless) what he’s getting out of watching porn and then switch your mindset a bit while also creating boundaries so that he can come to YOU for those needs that YOU can enjoy with him. Masterbation is healthy if it’s done in healthy ways. Porn addiction is real.
I always love seeing these posts and how many laugh at peoples insecurities/boundaries. 
just cause y’all are ok with it doesn’t mean everyone else HAS to deal with it and settle or be ok with it.
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For a man to get sexual pleasure over anything other than his wife is adultery yes, even in his mind.
Would he agree to your letting him put a PG block on his phone?
His reaction when you propose that will tell you how important it is to him to value your marriage.
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I completely understand I just broke up with my ex because of it cuz every time he had his horn issues he was cheating so one leg to the other and I’m done understand how it breaks your heart cuz you want to be more important to him than that I get it God be with you
Im sorry he doesn’t understand your feelings. I hope you can work it out.
I feel this!! We have battled this issues for 14 years. Unfortunately everyone says it’s just porn it’s not anything to worry about. But that’s a lie it destroys some people. I have finally had enough when he decided to not even give therapy a try.
Everyone please take a breather. I would first ask, why it makes you uncomfortable. Be honest with yourself, then bring those feelings to the table and ask him to be honest as well. Don’t judge eachother but, try to understand eachother. Most times, it’s one thinking of what could happen, and the other holding back for fear. Be open and honest… first with yourself, then with eachother. Good luck Hun.
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Yes in my opinion your overreacting. Watch it with him or maybe u watch it too lol idk 
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Lmao he isn’t a child
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Yea, I wouldn’t apologize either.
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It’s just porn! He could be cheating instead 
watch it with him!
Maybe make your own videos for him to watch
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No but if I saw my man looking at porn I’d be very hurt. Why does he feel the need to look at other women in this manner? It would make me feel that I am not enough for him. What am I doing wrong? Is he not satisfied? My ex used to watch porn and look up women that were the complete opposite of me. Can’t you see how this could make someone feel that their partner doesn’t like how the look?
24 years? He isn’t gonna change sweetie. You have 2 choices. Accept it for what it is and have fun with it. Watch porn with him. Do different things. Enjoy yourself. Or leave. Well actually there is a 3rd. Stay and continue to be miserable cuz, girl, he ain’t gonna change.
Well if he’s not going to change at least tell him to go incognito so you don’t see it, or leave him.
Honestly…I blocked his phone from being able to. So, if he approached me about it, I knew right there that it was a SEVERE problem. No complaints so far, hasn’t said anything.
I find it disgusting. If his boundaries are expected to be respected, so should yours. If he can’t respect them, that’s disgusting.
It’s uncomfortable for women but me are different they like looking it’s a man thing if it’s excessive or really bad stuff he needs help
I don’t think your overreacting. Some men are pigs.
You’re not overreacting! If he can’t give you that respect …… he’s not worthy of you love xx
It’s just porn…! I don’t get the big deal personally, he’s not actually doing anything wrong are you not projecting your insecurities onto him a bit? If you don’t want to see it then maybe he can do it in private. I think you’re definitely overreacting on this one, you can’t control everything someone does and sometimes we have to learn to just get over it and move on.
You’re not overreacting. You have set a boundary, again and again it is being disrespected.
Once a boundary is set, and that person chooses to stick with you, they need to honor that boundary. Simple. No two ways around it. What’s okay for others, is not for some and you shouldn’t have to rearrange something that’s showing respect to you to comfort someone else, ESPECIALLY if you’ve married them.
This isn’t the kind of family you want involved in your life honestly. Keep the boundaries up on the younger kids.
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Not at all… and if your bf can’t see the problem with this there’s a serious problem.
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Why stay???..nuff said…
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Leave. There is family out there.
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Sorry to hear this. He should be supporting you. I agree that he should be speaking with them. No, you are not overreacting.
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If your boyfriend sees no wrong in the exclusion of the 2 younger children (which is hurtful and damaging) then he’s the problem.
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You are NOT overracting!
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You are definitely not overreacting! If your bf can’t include his whole family and stick up for you, he doesn’t deserve to be part of yours! Take your kids and move on…
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You are absolutely right been then done that my bf/ husband stepped up and basically told them it’s earthed all of them or don’t come over do call ect and we will not visit at first it was oh … ok will play nice now we never see or hear from anyone unless they need money or help basically 
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Hell no ,you are NOT overreacting . That’s BS!!
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Take your kids, just leave and go out to eat by yourselves without saying anything to him, his reaction when you get back will tell you what to do.
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He shouldn’t have went to Thanksgiving over there. He doesn’t see anything wrong with it just leave. You deserve better.
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I am in the same boat
I’m sorry. I was here with my ex husband. Protect your kids. Leave. Find a family that goes beyond the definition of blood.
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That’s really sad that adults treat innocent kids like that. What you need to do is look at your whole relationship. There’s a possibility that if you and him were to break up he probably wouldn’t be in your kids life.
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Your boyfriend allows the issue, he is the problem
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He should be ashamed of himself and stand up to his family and if not he has no business going over there without all of them.
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You shut them out because because a comment of the 9 yr old. They are probably respecting you and your boundaries towards your kids and keeping distant for it. At the end you said you wouldn’t let them stay overnight or by theirs elves so maybe they are hurt by it? Instead of talking it out you keep quiet, maybe they are afraid of doing something wrong with your kids. Yall should go in there together, put your foot down with your bf to be in in with you, and tell them why you feel they can’t watch your kids. Try to resolve the issue like adults if you want the relationship to get somewhere. If yall cant communicate and resolve it, then find a different person to share your life with because too much separation going on and not enough together.
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