Not selfish, SMART.
However, are you on the same page in your marriage?
Not selfish, SMART.
However, are you on the same page in your marriage?
You aren’t selfish at all…your children need a place to call home and that man doesn’t seem to see that.
Do not put his name on it.
You know the answer, you know he is not good for you and your children, you know what you need to do. Fuck him off then sort yourself and your kids out
No you are NOT being selfish, he should have worked as hard as you have and saved like you have, he’s the one being selfish, and while you let him do this he’ll always do it. You live in you’re house ( you paid for it) and let him live in his house. We woman have to look after ourselves now Adams as some men just don’t pull their weight. Good luck.
Why are you still in a relationship with him? He doesn’t even want to provide for you. He is selfish.
Not selfish at all! Also, it sounds like she’s married to my ex husband!
Get legal advice. You don’t want him trying to make a claim on what you’ve accumulated during the course of the marriage.
Miss please don’t put his name down, if he wanted to elevate himself he would have stepped up and do whatever it took. Your kids deserve it in the long round, he’s obviously living for here and now
You bought it, put your name on it. This has nothing to do with selfishness. He literally has no financial interest in this property.
He’ll no and if you have to ask its because you already know the answer
Not selfish. I closed on my house a month before my wedding. House is fully mine. Going through a divorce now, so there was nothing to fight about. Never combined income. Nearly everything was mine and he left that way. Protect yourself, your kids, and your investments. Get a will. Make him sign off dower rights on the house.
Lmao, lay in the bed you made. Dummy.
Nope and you don’t have to
Sounds like he is a narcissist absolutely NO
Not much teamwork going on in your marriage huh
I don’t blame you at all! He does not sound very reliable. Keep the new one in your name only. Your money, your home!!
Nope! You saved. He splurged.
The one issue causing all of this is the casino
Nope not selfish at all . I think you are very smart.
Thats not selfish at all!!!
No. You know, girl. No.
Absolutely do not put his name one it
If the money was earned during the marriage it won’t matter. He will have claim to it. Had you kept the house you owned before the marriage…he would have no claim to it
Nope. Safe move for yourself and children.
And you’re still with him why?
Toxic, why keep wasting your time. Know your worth. Move on.
Depending on where you live it doesn’t matter. He will get it anyway if you are married at the time of death.
Do you and your children💗
I would make sure the prenup is going to work before buying, see a lawyer. I’ve heard people get screwed in a situation like that. Maybe divorce him then buy the house
Not at all. Don’t back down!
You better check with an attorney. If you live in a community property state you are probably screwed !
Nope… it seems you were clear from the beginning. He didn’t do his part. You are smart
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I selfish for not wanting my husbands name on my new house?
I don’t think this is selfish at all, it sounds pretty practical to me.
Sounds like you’ve already made your mind up On the future of your relationship
If you’re legally married and depending on the state you live in he could still be legally entitled to it even if his name isn’t on it
Absolutely not. Sounds very smart to me tbh.
Not selfish at all. But I think there’s a bigger issue here. You guys are not compatible. You should move into your house alone.
Most places you live, he is legally entitled to half of it anyway since he is your spouse.
Not selfish- it’s smart. If he thinks it’s selfish he can just stay in his own house that’s falling apart
Yeah it’s selfish. When you’re married, you share everything. Why not go ahead and get a divorce? You clearly don’t want to be with him.
Nope I would do the same!
I guess consider if the shoe was on the other foot. I personally wouldnt continue to build a life with someone who has such and entirely different mindset than me but I think everyone is entitled to their own perspective. I’m of the perspective that in marriage our wealth and responsibilities are shared and we accept both the good and bad in one another and help eachother grow and build a life together.
I wouldn’t. If it’s Yours and you worked for it then No. Because later on down the road and y’all Split then he’d want his share of it. I’ve learned that the hard way
Why did you get married??
I’d leave and enjoy your new house
I think its petty lol I just bought my family home and we have agreed we put half in it to make it ours our deed had and nor or be abuse im the 3 generation to own it and ill buy his half he put in which is to be notarized and kept in a safe so “if” divorce ever happenes its still mine
I don’t think yall should be married if you don’t trust each other to be put on your home tbh. And in many states, your spouse legally has claim to your home i.e. you can’t evict them and make them be homeless if you’re married and that’s their place of residence too. Something to consider!
Its fkn smart good for you!!
Sounds like you made up your mind on your future …
When you’re married what yours is his and what’s his is yours.
But you lived at his broke down house for how long free!? Idk we need more info
Check your states laws - it might not matter if his name is on it or not - in spousal property states an unnamed spouse still has ownership rights
No you’re being honest and up front!
If you are married becomes community property
Tbh I would feel the same why. It’s not selfish. You worked hard to get a new place and he isn’t clearly responsible with money etc. so as a mother I can understand this with kids! He should have fixed his house up and chose not to by buying other lavish items. It’s smart honestly. Me and my husband owns our home together but he always works as hard as I do equally and we both maintain our home. Maybe if he put in as much effort and stuff then he could but until he can prove it I wouldn’t.
I’d do the same thing. You worked for it its yours
In most states, unless the house is in a trust, he will get 1/2 as it is not part of your prenuptial. Your original house was but anything purchased after marriage is not.
Why is the house ownership even a concern. You need to dump his ass and quick.
Put your name and one of your children’s name on it and include in your will that it goes to your children. He may depending on where you live still be entitled to payments from the estate.
So if u by a house while.ur together he’s entitled to half of its value so I’d leave his ass then by ur new house
Also, your cheap ass lived in his home how long for free? He deserves better anyways
Talk to a attorney in your area first. Depending on the laws in your area, he may still be entitled to a portion…unless you put the home in say your parents or someone you trust.
Be careful. Money is a huge factor in divorce. Too bad you didn’t see that before you got married.
Definately not just check laws for when married
Honestly I think it is smart of you, we’re not talking just 1 year… this is several years, I’m sure you have talked about it on diffrent occasions. It also sounds like there’s some compatability struggles, perhaps couples counseling could help? Overall I don’t think it’s selfish at all, it’s smart.
The new house will be community property no matter who’s name it’s in. Prenup is only for purchases made before being married.
O.o do you also buy your own food and pay your own bills as well as split cost of childcare? If your husband is a deadbeat them yes I totally agree but if you have a good man doing what needs to be done then I dont get it. If hes a deadbeat then you’re simply securing yourself and your kids but if hes a deadbeat isnt that a marriage you should want out of?
You’re better off getting a divorce, wait til its official before you buy again
Never been in that situation. Everything my husband and I do is ours .
If u feel that way u should leave him. No one should feel that way about their husband lol
You sound like you’re done and expecting this relationship to fail. I would move into your own house and leave him in his. I wouldn’t put anyone on it if they didn’t work towards it with me either.
In most states if you are married he still owns half even without his name on it because you are married.
Hell no do you hunny and leave that trash to
No…fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me…I think you are smart, not selfish…
I wouldn’t buy anything while still married to him. Trust me.
Leave him in his falling apart home, doesn’t sound like even a decent partner.
Pretty sure he would still be able to get half since it is acquired after the after but I would be wanting to do the same thing
Well if you guys ever get divorced it’s community property, he is entitled to half of it.
A trust is the only way to protect assests meant for your children
I don’t blame you! He doesn’t value anything. Why work hard for something and let the wolves have it . He showed you what he valued!
No. I am currently married and saving for a house I’ve already talked to a lawyer on how to buy one without my husband having any interest in it.
No it’s not selfish. He didnt contribute at all so that’s his own problem. Just hope in ur prenup it says what’s his is his and what’s urs is urs. So he cant take it from u.
Your husband sounds like a good time, casinos, razors, and boats
Sounds reasonable to me
No. Protect yourself first. Always.
No that is YOUR house
Absolutely not!!! Why are you still with him???
Good on u leave it for ur babies men come and go but ur children will always be there…
You would have to file the proper paperwork and have a will for your children to get the home.
I don’t think you’re selfish for this tho. There’s a reason behind everything and with what you’ve stated I’m sure there’s more to it than this. Do what you feel is best for you and your children’s future.
Nope not at all. If he is contributing nothing to your new home his name shouldnt be on it! Its been 4 years he should have saved something to put towards your new home
We bought our first house in just my husband’s name. There was a whole page in the paperwork stating that I had no legal right to the house. Did it because I had crappy credit. Our currently house is in both of our names.
Pre is before - you’re buying the house while married regardless of where the money came from. If something happens to you first it will go to him because it was acquired during marriage. If you get divorced you would have to give him his share.
Not selfish, but it sounds like a divorce is brewing here.
Not selfish at all, in fact I’d kick him to the curb.
No do you fuck him leave it to your kids
I don’t think it’s selfish at all. Make sure your state laws allow this though. You are married. Anything bought while legally married is usually split 50/50 in a divorce. Again, talk with an attorney
Lol no, sign that deed
The real question is should you stay in a marriage with someone who has no financial responsibility? You both are on totally different pages with different goals.
Depending on the state you live in, it will become community property and if you buy and later decide you want a divorce you could end up having to sell the house and dividing the income again depending on what state you live in. You’re married it shouldn’t be yours and mine it should be ours and I don’t understand not wanting him on the deed but if that’s what you insist on doing you need to speak with a lawyer BEFORE you buy the new house