I’m at my wits end with my husband and his child’s mother. They broke up when the child was still really small and he hasn’t been able to see the child at all since he left. The contact just started again in November maybe? And already she has blocked us because of us not wanting to see pictures or videos of said child with her “fiancé “. Mind you this is the third guy she’s had around this child having child call them “daddy”. I feel terrible but I’ve completely emotionally detached from the situation. I still care for the child. It’s crystal clear that she does not want either of us in the child’s life. So why fight so hard for something she has full power over? It’s not my place. We’re thousands of miles away from them so court really won’t do any good unless we manage to pay for somewhere temporary to stay near them during the whole thing. That’s not an option. Are we wrong for throwing in the towel and letting her have her way?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I wrong for thinking it's a waste for my husband to fight for his kid?
I would fight to the bitter end for my child. 
also thousands of miles away? Who moved away from the other parent?
I REALLY hope this is a made up post. You NEVER stop fighting for the kids… ever!
Don’t see how you could give up on a child because of how their parent acts.
Why would he want to stop fighting for his child!
Just because you are over it doesn’t mean he is!
It’s not your child so you don’t have a say or any decision to make. That’s all on your husband and he has to make an live with that decision
My opinion, he should fight as hard as he has to for his child. No matter what the mother is doing. You’re wrong for wanting him to give up so you don’t have to deal with the situation.
I’d fight!!! who does she think she is? xx
It’s his blood. I would fight for my child till my very last breath no matter what. If it was your child would you just throw in the towel bc its stressful? It’s a human life it isn’t a purse. You should be proud you have a man who fights so hard for his child.
I didn’t even read the post. I stopped after reading the question.
I’d fight until death.
I’m guessing you don’t have any children…
Yes, you are totally wrong.
Typical girlfriend mentality. Can’t stand people like you! Leave it to the father & mother of the child. Period.
Yes you’re wrong
Would you give up if the child was your bio kid?
I wont say any more because how is this even a question.
Would you fight if it were your child? I sure would till the bitter end!
stop fighting for his children, more like you should help him fight for his children you knew he had children when you got together did you not Wow
No! Fight for your child regardless. The court is rough but what she’s doing is called alienation and against the law. I went through the courts with my abusive ex and what he was doing was wrong and damaging to my children.
Keep and document ALL of the messages, blocking etc to use in court. But NEVER stop fighting for your children. You could be the only light in their life and if you just give up on them it’ll destroy their outlook on love and care towards them for the rest if their life. Please don’t give up. It’s a fucking hard road to take but it’s worth it.
No matter how hard mom makes it, fight. Don’t give up on that child because they can’t speak for themselves. Your fiancé and his ex will learn to co parent in time (hopefully) or come up with a schedule that’s suitable through court.
Idc if he goes to court and asks for a weekend a month if you guys live thousands of miles away.
There’s people that live miles away from their children and take them in the summer or holiday breaks, when they’re school aged and younger. It’s manageable.
He’s wrong. And in turn so are you. It’s not a puppy.
If this was your own child would you stop fighting?
Absolutely you’re wrong ! That’s his child , you never ever stop fighting for your children - move closer if you have to - that’s his child !!!
Yes, he should still continue to be a deadbeat dad while this poor child is desperately looking for someone to call her dad. You should step up and help encourage him to play a role in his daughters life. He’s already missed out on a lot and why miss out on more?
Definitely this whole post is ew
I wouldn’t be with a man who wouldn’t fight for his children. Do you have children?
That is wrong on so many levels.
You need to support and encourage your husband to fight for a relationship with his child. This has life long impacts for both of them.
You’re not the right woman for him sadly
I don’t think he necessarily even needs to “fight”. Go to court, set up child support and get his rights for visitations. Then get the kid on his times or she’s in contempt. No reason for contact with her outside of that. It’s simple, the only reason he’d need to full blown fight in court is if he was trying to take her for full or split custody.
Standby him whilst he fights because if he’s anything like my child’s father… he’s got fights in him.
Why would you even think it is ok for him to stop fighting for HIS child? You should support him wanting to be a part of his child life …no matter how difficult it is.
He will never forgive you if you influence him to stop fighting for his child.
If this is what you want please don’t reproduce with this man since you can just throw away a kid so easily
Not your fight as girlfriend. Your role is to support him. Don’t make a bad situation worse
That’s absurd to give up on a child.
That would be a major turn on he’s fighting for his child like that. More men should follow
Why fight? Because the child needs their father. I’m also concerned about the mother’s state, if your description is accurate.
You kicked off because of the photos she sent of the kid? Maybe she was being petty having the stepfather in there or whatever but so what, you just have to suck it up or you give her an ultimatum and demand very specific pictures at which point she blocks you the Dad has you and the Mum has a fiancé, you need to accept that or just back off and let your husband deal with it rather than add to drama. Assume husband is paying maintenance…
I guess as long as he is paying child support that is something? Is he?
So. That’s his child. His blood.
If it were me. I would never —- stop fighting to be with my child.
I’m also curious as to why the child is far away? Did ur husband move away or did she move him away.
Because I think BOTH would be wrong. It’s wrong to move a child away from the other parent
It’s also wrong to leave ur child and not make it a priority to stay where the child is so it’s a lot easier to be a part of the child’s every day to weekly life.
With such a distance only week or week long visits here and there are possible.
Why create that for the child?
And yes. I think ur wrong.
Just because the bio mom doesn’t want your husband around doesn’t mean he can’t be. And doesn’t make her right.
It sounds as if the child is being failed from multiple people.
Everyone please say a prayer for that child. 
If I was the husband I’d leave u… a parent should NEVER give up on their child just because they have a bitter baby mama… if u and ur husband had kids and he up and left with the baby would u just give up because he’s to far or ur to tired to fight? Smfh
Please don’t push this agenda of yours on that man. No man needs this in his head while dealing with fighting for his child.
Always fight for your children. Marrying that man makes them your child too. You need to be an advocate for that poor baby because they cannot advocate for themselves yet. If your husband wants a relationship with his child (which he should) than you should support them both and do everything in your power to help that relationship grow and thrive while building one with the child yourself.
Would you forget about your own child?
You never give up on your children
That’s his child, of course he should fight! It doesn’t matter what you like or think, that’s his baby. He is the father so he has rights. He should stand up and fight for his child. You can sit back, this is about him and his child, not you. None of that is your place but it is his. So give up and when the child asks later why he didn’t try them what? The only thing that isn’t an option is him giving up on his child, that’s it.
Are you really okay building a life with someone who’s willing to give up on the life he created. Or you just don’t care because it’s not your child. How about da move closer to his kid.
He needs to get rid of you and move near his child.
Go to court. She has no right to keep a father from her child. If she wants to be petty get a lawyer
Any decent dad would walk the earth for their kids, so distance wouldn’t matter. And any decent woman would stand by her man no matter how hard the fight.
As a person who is almost in the same boat, I get you and understand how exhausting this must be, but it his child he should definitely fight. I understand where you’re coming from it’s not easy…
You never give up on your children or your partners children . There’s no excuse to giving up ,that is your child even when it gets hard . The mother/father or anyone can not keep you from loving and fighting to establish a relationship with them . I always say you fight with all you got , do what’s right and until that child is of age and can make sound decisions to be in your spouses life on their own , then it is only correct to fight for your children and be there in any positive way you can . Never give up on your children , they are gifts from GOD
What if it was your child? I’d fight until my last breath
I kinda hope he leaves you 
Yes, you are wrong…no parent ever stops fighting for their child. Regardless of the anger, heartache, or disappointment brought on from the other parent. The mental and emotional damage that this child will grow up with all because his step mom doesn’t want his father to continue fighting is harsh. You should either support your husband and step son or perhaps walk away since you feel moving is not an option. I supported my husband throughout his custody battle and it was tough as nails, but my husband is my soul mate and life partner and my stepson isn’t at fault for the bs between his parents. Very selfish of you in my opinion.
Good luck to you guys.
Big YTA energy. What kind of person thinks it’s a waste to fight for a child!?
That’s nuts I’m sorry that’s his child… and yes it does sound very wrong… and how could you even want that for your husband or his child…
Thing is depending on state, he can file for his child in that state. Don’t matter if he has had any custody or not. Then she would have to come there to fight. My sister went through the same thing. Just find a free lawyer consult and get that part figured out. He ended up filing a motion in Illinois and my sister lives in montana. She had to go there for court since he filed before she did.
You are 100% wrong for thinking it’s a “waste”. A parent that loves their child will never stop fighting for them. I think it gross to even think it’s a waste and to “throw in the towel”. If you are trying to stop him from fighting he is actually wasting his time with you.
Yes you’re wrong. Would you walk away from YOUR child, and not fight to be part of their life? Why should he?
Even if I have to die still fighting. My child will know, I went out still fighting for them. I would never condone or advise anyone to give up on fighting for their child. No matter the time or distance. That is literally a life you created.
If you allow your husband to stop fighting for his child, then you’re no better than a deadbeat who doesn’t want to see their child at all. Just because something gets rough, y’all are just gonna throw in the towel and stop fighting for the child. That’s sad.
you stand by and help him fight! Help him think of ways of making it possible to be there. Don’t be that “step mother” please don’t
If it was your biological child would you throw in the towel? And i must be completely honest the wife that encourages their husband to give up on his child is at the same level as the mother that prevents child from having a relationship with their father, do better
Gross. ALWAYS FIGHT. The exes life is none of your business. Get the kid in therapy but there is nothing you can do about what SHE is doing in HER life. Instead you picked a fight over something that is NONE of your business and lost chance/contact with the child. Talk about selfish. Do what is best for the child. It sounds like the child is going to need positivity in its life and you need to fight to be that change. Not be the drama
Honestly, it sounds like he doesn’t even care to see his child. Why wouldn’t he have gone to court after they broke up & established custody when the child was a baby? If he had, he probably wouldn’t still be “fighting” to see his kid, instead he moved “thousands of miles away” so it’s obvious he doesn’t really care. Sounds like ur both “detached” & off the hook & totally deserve one another. The child sounds better off without either of u.
Kinda sounds like you’re no better than the child’s mother
Yeah you are definitely wrong. So much it’s gross…. and he sounds lazy because the second she withheld a child…he should’ve been in court. 
It’s not about her but the children
So disgusting. Who would ever stop fighting for their child.
Fight for rights. It’s not a waste fighting for a child. Ever. I’d never quit.
To answer the question, Yes you’re wrong. Never give up, get a good lawyer and keep fighting. Otherwise you are no better than the child’s mother. I feel bad for the child.
Youre dispicable , no wonder you posted anonymosly.
Thats his choice not yours
How did y’all end up thousands of miles away from his child??? And yes you’re dead wrong! IF he is a good father and wants to be a part of his child’s life then he should get visitation and contact. I guess visitation isn’t even an option since you’re so far away and I’m guessing he’s the one that moved away from his child. I’d love to hear the mothers version of this story because yours sounds extremely sketchy!
You really beed to step back and look at your situation. Move closer to that child and deal with the new stepdad as a human being. The child deserves to have your husband in their life, and there is nothing wrong with a stepdad who loves them too. You need to seriously grow up, trying to force them to not have pictures together is ridiculous.
As the child of a parent that “threw in the towel”, I still wonder why almost 15 years later. Why did they decide to birth me or even keep me when at such a young age no one even cared to fight for my best interest… people gave up on me before my life ever even started, I’m okay now because I’ll never give up on myself but I cannot say the same for everyone else who went through something similar…
If you can’t take the heat, get out of the pan. Never give up on kids. I’d be ending the relationship with someone who thought for sure!
Go to court and fight for his rights
Yes … you’re disgustly wrong and no better then this child’s mother. I’d fight til the end of time and cross oceans for mine.
Who even are you!?! I, as a wife, have went above and beyond to help form and nuture my husbands relationship with his kids. Even his estranged kids… that he was never a part of their lives. I literally made him go knock on the door and get reaquainted. They have a great relationship now and actually are out buying fishing poles and getting haircuts as i type this. Its never a waste.
Those kids are worth fighting for.
What kinda woman says it’s a waste to fight for a child
But if it was your biological child would you really be saying “why fight so hard”? No you wouldn’t. That is HIS biological child. How do you think the child would grow up feeling if he just “gives up” I would die still fighting for my child whether the child was biologically mine or not 
You’re absolutely 
% wrong God imagine the child grew up and seen you talking about them this way absolutely disgusting yall worried about the wrong shit who cares if the fiance is in the picture obviously your husband never was
You should not be even asking this , YES you are very wrong , is his child and he should have the right to be a part of his life .
You should be by his side fighting with him
Take the mother back to court. Make the court have the mother in contempt. Court doesn’t allow for a parent to disrespect the other. They could end up in jail because it really messes the child’s mind up when one parent is like that. Make sure child support is up to date when going to court. A father needs to fight for his child no matter how hard the situation because he doesn’t want the child to think the father doesn’t care when he gets older.
Honestly I’d feel like a real piece of 
if I didn’t fight for mine… if my significant other didn’t back me I’d leave that person… nothing and nobody are more important to me than my kids… 
Yes, you’re wrong. The words “waste” and “fighting for his child” shouldn’t even be in the same sentence. You have no control over what she does in her personal life just the same as she has no say in what he does in his.
Point being: why should they have to fight. Every adult involved should put the best interest of said child first. Children are not pawns or property. Why make it hard for someone who’s trying to be involved?
If I was him you wouldn’t be my wife anymore!! Sorry but NOT sorry!!
Very wrong. It’s frustrating it’s exhausting but you don’t quit. The child has no decisions when it comes to what their mother is doing and you don’t quit on a child because moms making it difficult.
It’s none of your business. You should be supporting him FULLY!! Maybe he should make better spouse choices…
I’m sorry, you guys didn’t want to see photos/videos of the child and some other person?
Why is that even an issue to begin with.
Maybe you guys are grabbing at straws and they’re annoyed with it considering the father hasn’t been in the child’s life.
If you want to see your kid, fight for your kid.
I fully understand how baby mamas can often be horrible towards the father and his new spouse. Some baby mamas make it their damn job to make your guys’ life hell. They use their children as a pawn in their sick game to mess with the father and it’s disgusting. But you don’t ever give up. Period. I would fight with anyone till I die to see my kid.
It is never Ok to.give up on a child. Not the childs fault their parents can’t get along. The Step parent should treat the child like their own. Not cause their spouse more greif.
He needs to thrown in the towel on you, and go fight for his baby!!!
Imagine your stepmother wanting your dad to not fight for the right to see you. This is the reason stepmoms get a bad name.
It’s never a waste to fight for a child. I hope he fights harder. Starting with ditching you.
He should throw in the towel with you!
I may get hate for this but IAM say it after several court orders and contempt of court the fight to see my husband son become very tiring and money draining so we did give up he is at the age now to where he can drive and make the decision to come see us or us pick him up what ever he may want to do yes my husband lost out on previous time with his son but his son also saw it was his mom that kept him away that didn’t want him to know his dad he is now 16 we speak all the time and he trys to come spend time with us and his brother when he isn’t working