Am I wrong for thinking it's a waste for my husband to fight for his kid?

What if it was YOUR child. Frustration is understandable, throwing in the towel is not

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Its the child that matters. Never give up for him. You dont know really whats going on apparently. I dont know how or why they got together. I can only speak for myself. My sons dad dosent contact him at all. I never bad mouthed him and we lived 1000 miles away. Your husband has a son and will need to make weekly calls. Let the child know he is there and loves him. Its not hard a letter, cards, weekly phone calls. That makes the distance smaller. Be consistent. Even pay child support. Do a dna test first. Treat him the way you would want to be treated. You will only have to answer for yourself. Be supportive.

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Disgusting to me that you’re ok with giving up on your husband’s child. It doesn’t matter how many people she has around the child that’s none of your business. Your husband is that child’s father. It’s not your decision to tell him to give up on his kid.

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I’m appalled that you think throwing in the towel is even an option. When things get hard, you don’t just give up! Especially when it’s a child. Smh.
Your husband should be fighting, get a lawyer, go to court if need be.
He can still see his child during the breaks from school.
What she does in her life is her choice, yes I’m sure it’s upsetting but her choices should not be what affects him being a parent. Man up and take responsibility instead of taking the easy way out. The child should be the priority 100%.

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Why would you even need to ask this. Don’t know if you have any other children but would you ever stop fighting for your child. You never give up NEVER EVER

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Lawyer /court!!!
I could or never suggest anyone ever not go all in for their child ….

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Yes, you are in the wrong. Support him as a father, or get out of the way.

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The fact your referring to yalls child as “the child” is pretty upsetting and your even wanting to give up just bc she is hard to deal with shows alot of who you are. No matter the distance that baby needs love and support from both parents. As well as the parents should get along. It shouldnt matter if pics and videos of child are with anyone yall should be happy to see the child in any circumstance. You seem to be the biggest facter in the situation and probably gonna be the one to end it and hurt the childs relationship with dad.

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Would you ever stop fighting for your kids? I think he should fight for his kid to the end. One day that kid is gonna ask why he didn’t care enough to be in his life.

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Yeah.you are. You need to take a step back and see if HE wants to.
See what hes willing to do for HIS child. Who will grow up wondering why dad "threw in the towel’:woman_facepalming:
And when you see if he does or doesn’t , think long and hard about it and how youd feel if it was YOUR child he was giving up on.
Dont have kids w him is my advice.

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You won’t help his case at all, especially with this mindset. He will lose any custody he has a chance of getting. As a bonus mom and mother you’re a problem. My suggestion to you is delete this because it can be used against you and start acting like that child is yours and not some random child.

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How has he gone this long and not fought for his child? That alone would make me say maaaaaybe the child is better off since he hasn’t bothered for what I assume is probably years if the mom has had 3 boyfriends and they split when the child “was very young”. Sad. I could never just NOT fight to be in my child’s life. Sounds like there is a lot more to this story than just vilifying the kids mom as if she’s the one at fault here. But, tbh, stories like this get just under my skin. If someone is both fit and willing to be in their kids life, they can be with the right steps. Sure, there’s those rare exceptions to that rule, but most of the time it’s someone not putting in the work. And it’s his responsibility to do so. Not yours and not the mothers - it’s his choice to either be a dad or not. Just my opinion…

Would you be feeling that way if it was your child though?

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Your not wrong, he def IS though. I mean I don’t understand why it’s even on the table for him to give up, he should have all the more motivation to step his shit up and if that means leaving you and your selfish ideologies behind then :v: so be it.

Okay I’m sorry, but your fiancé should’ve fought harder from the beginning, not just November. That’s horrible on both ends.
Of course she would move on and find someone else and they would eventually become a father figure; that’s literally what happens.
You, as his soon-to-be wife, should take this as a red flag. If he didn’t put an effort until recently with his child, what makes you think he’d do so for yours? And vice versa? I do not understand this lmao I literally moved a 1000 miles away from my home to be with my man and his daughter bc it was beyond worth it for us ALL to be family. Sounds like bitterness on both ends.
My fiancé’s dad was never around, he left when my fiancé was very young. His dad then went on to have multiple other children that he happily takes care of. This made my SO cut his father out completely. By the time his father reached out; fiancé was 18 years old, and wanted nothing to do with him. I will never understand how hard that is for him to see. If you’re okay with letting another little boy feel this way? You’re both garbage

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Family court in my state let’s you zoom hearings

That’s your child too just because you didn’t give birth to him doesn’t make him any less yours tell ur hunny keep fighting

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Absolutely you are wrong! “The child” doesn’t have any control over the situation! It’s so sad and I promise that child will grow up full of resentment and hate for you and your husband! Does your husband feel the same way? If so neither of you deserve that baby!

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“The child” is the important individual in this case!) Do what is in his best interest!

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Sadly is that what you tell the young boy when he’s old enough to choose? That you just gave up on him? Keep fighting sweetie. He’ll be older one day & will see the truth :revolving_hearts:

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He should never stop fighting for his child and if he really wants to be in his child life and is serious about it he’d move closer.

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No your not wrong. My husband was going to fight for his supposed kids. But truthfully they are NOT his DNA. I’m not spending thousands on kids that are not his and to deal with a crazy stalker, prostitute, stripper.

The system is really broken all over

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You are wrong. If necessary move to be closer to his child…tf

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Sad just sad

Why Dosent he file child support on himself that way there is court order visitation

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If I was him I’d break up with you.

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If you live that far away and he didn’t start fighting for his child until November you shouldn’t have the right to be bothered by pictures of the child with her fiancé. You are absolutely wrong to think he should throw in the towel. That baby didn’t ask to be here, and the adults need to act like adults. If it were my significant other wanting me to give up on my child they would be the one I gave up on.

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Would you “throw in the towel” if they child was biologically yours? Support you our hubby with whatever he chooses. He needs you.

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“Blocked”? On social media? I’m confused.

“The child” doesn’t need you in their life since you can’t even refer to them as your husbands’ child. I hope you don’t have any children either if your answer is “give up and let her have her way” since you’re too far away. This is his child and a part of him and should not be a burden. I would fight to the ends of the earth for my babies and if my husband had children that I didn’t give birth to would do the same for them. That baby deserves more.

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You never stop fighting for your kids. Ever.
If you can’t understand that, go find someone “easier”. FFS

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I would like to know who moved thousands of miles away? I don’t think either parent has the right to do that!

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It’s not about you, him, the mother, or any other adult. It’s about that little boy getting the parents he deserves. So if your man is serious about being a father he should pack up and move and take her to court. I don’t know why you’re making it about you when this literally has nothing to do with you, therefore your “wits end” is completely irrelevant.

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Yes you are wrong. Periodt. He should be fighting harder. And ditch your ass as well for having the AUDACITY to suggest such a thing I know I would if I were him at least

That’s his child. You accepted that child when you accepted him. Regardless of the attitude of the mother, he needs to fight. And if you’re not willing to support that; I think that there’s a lot more in your life that needs evaluated besides whether or not your husband should fight for his right to be in his child’s life.

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How can u throw in the towel for him?get a back bone n support you man…u.sound a lil selfish…it is his kid.get a lawyer and establish his visitation

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Yes you’re wrong. That child has one father. Even if the mother doesn’t make it easy. The child needs to know that the father did whatever he could to see him when possible and that he was loved no matter what. Children can’t control what adults do. But they need to know they are wanted and fought for, they deserve that.

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That is his child and he needs to take responsibilities of said child. It’s not about any of you, it’s what’s best for the child.

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Never ever stop fighting for your child!! Or his!! You as his wife, should wholeheartedly stand by his side and fight!! Every child deserves BOTH parents!!

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Is that what the father of this child wants, because it’s not really your choice?!

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That poor youngen. How would YOU feel if you were that kid and your dad just quit trying to be in your life? I’m sorry to tell you this, but you sound all to happy for the dad to just give up and quit.

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Same position here, let her raise her kid🤷‍♀️ He’ll track yall down and learn the truth someday. Until then don’t let an evil woman ruin both your lives and drag you through the ringer. Some women WANT to be single moms and we can’t all afford 10k in lawyer fees get maybe state minimum visitation. Support whatever decision HE makes because it’s his decision

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I’d move next door if I had to. NOTHING would come between me and my children. I don’t care if I had to drug test and do supervised visits, NOTHING would stop me from being a present and ongoing influence in their lives.

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i’d never give up on my baby lol.

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It’s not about what you want. You don’t matter. Nor her fiance. Just her and him. And kids. Facts.

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It’s really NOT your business or concern, and honestly you should stay out of it, it’s also NOT your child either and I’m sure there is more to the story especially since he hasn’t been involved.

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Short answer… yes, you’re very wrong.

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In the beginning you say “am I wrong for thinking” then at the end you say “are we wrong”…sounds like YOU don’t want to help fight for his child. He most definitely should continue to fight. That’s HIS baby too and you are wrong for not supporting that.

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Bad situation especially for the child. All the love that’s being withheld…for what?

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It’s a long dark road and whilst I understand your frustration you’re wrong. That’s his baby so let him fight and have his back!

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It’s not about how you feel your making this about you because your over it it’s about that child getting to spend time with his dad. That boys father will fight for his child until his very last breath that is what we as parents do. Surely you know this since your on a mums group.

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This is honestly sickening. I couldn’t leave it at the short answer… you’re both disgusting human beings and it sounds like it’s honestly best that you stay out of “the child’s” life.

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You are very wrong !!

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Maybe look at it from that little girl’s pov. That’s her dad, not her fault at all. Maybe time to do some work on yourself.

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Have yous thought about moving closer to his child so he can see the child more? Maybe something to think about. I’d do whatever it takes to see my child but all the same I understand your position and you do see every day some women selfishly stopping the dad’s from seeing their kids. It’s a sad world

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It’s never too late, stay out of it, you should be encouraging and be a team and support him.

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EVERY CHILD is WORTH fighting for.

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So… it’s ok for the child to be near you, but not okay for the mom to have someone near the child? Petty. You don’t get to control who the mom is around/with. I also wouldn’t be walking away from a kid just because it’s a struggle. Not fair or right to that child.

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If he’s willing to do that with her child, he’s willing to do it with your child.

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That’s entirely up to your husband. He has every right to be in his child’s life whether that’s in person or virtually until he’s able to visit. I would offer support and compassion rather than say…okay I guess we will give up. I wish my father would have tried to see me instead of abandoning me as an infant. As far as her posting videos of the child with her fiance, you don’t get a say in who is or isn’t in a child’s life, it’s out of your control so let it go. Be happy the child is happy and this person loves them :heart:

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You’re the exact kind of person I hope my ex never gets in a relationship with. But then again, my ex has standards, you don’t meet them.

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Its never ok to give up . Go to court

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We all put up with people we don’t like for the sake of family/kids… sort it out.

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No, you’re not wrong. Why?

  1. He left, and presumably is the one who moved thousands of miles away, and is NOW wanting “to fight” to see his kid. He chose to walk away a long time ago.
  2. You’re ALL toxic af for that kid… mom for having multiple men around, and you two for being dumb and not wanting to see pics with moms current fling and kid together.
  3. Stay away from the kid… and its mom. :roll_eyes:
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You never stop fighting for your kids. That child should come before you in that man’s life and you should support that.

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I would say yes you’re absolutely wrong. Who cares about her? This is his child. I would not give two fucks about the odds stacked against me, I would fight until my last breath for my children. If you love this man, then you need to love his child just as much and fight just as hard for rights. Imagine being that poor child and growing up knowing that he/she was not worth the hassle to be around. That’s just sick. I can understand your frustrations but I cannot fathom the fact that you’re seriously considering throwing in the towel.

Never would I encourage my husband to give up on their child. Never would I even entertain the idea! Not a chance in hell I would even be with a man willing to “ throw in the towel” on their kids. It would speak volumes about him.

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I so hope your husband AND baby momma see this some how and remove you from this childs life! Smh

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Absolutely I think if it were your biological child you would feel differently. The mother not allowing him to see the child is an excuse for him not be around his child.There are courts for this reason. Your husband can get an attorney to fight his case and he can talk with them on the phone and they have zoom court too. A child is a whole person and you don’t give up on them.

All this is very immature behavior from all sides. THEY created a child and for her to not allow actual dad to see his kid when he clearly is trying to be apart of the kids life and for the fiance to be called dad… is gross on her. For you guys to both be like “well, finances around… thats wrong”… thats gross on you both. Co-parent correctly.

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You are being insane! It sounds like you have no business as a step mother…this is his CHILD not a pair of shoes or something you just decide eh I’m done. And you make it sound like your husband is jealous of his exs boyfriends. Why else wouldn’t he want to see pictures and videos of his child.

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You are your man’s main support and strength in this whole situation. You all play a crucial role in the outcome of this child’s life. Think of the effects on this child if you are all adding to his trauma. Poor kid :cry: Don’t give up. Hope all the adults can swallow their own pride and check on their egos, and find peace to make a positive impact for you all. Especially the child.

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He obviously hasn’t cared to fight for the child up until this point.
I normally say fight for your kids until the end, but if the dad hasn’t wanted to be a parent up until now, what makes anyone think he’s ready to step up and be a dad now?

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Who are you to make that statement. What a real partner he has. That’s his BLOOD his CHILD. You never stop fighting for your kid as I’m sure you wouldn’t if it were yours.

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Never would I Ever forget about my child or encourage my husband to give up his. NEVER‼️

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It’s not your decision there sweetheart that’s his child not yours

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Never a waste. I stood by mine for 7 years fighting.

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Yes, you are wrong. You never stop fighting for your kids. I was fighting a court battle from 2500 miles away for my kid!! If he’s trying, that’s what matters. That child WILL eventually know if their father fought for them, and as their fathers partner, you should be doing everything in your power to support his fight if he truly wants a relationship with his child!!

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honey , i would fight tooth and nail for this child - what the mother -in- law is doing to that poor child is going to hurt him in the future , the child has to be with his real father the child has to get to know this real dad before it’s too late! remember god is there also trying to help u too!

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You sound like a self absorbed person. What real parent ever stops fighting for their child🤦‍♀️. He should have been involved from jump street and of your so easy to say quit than you dont deserve to be around that child either.

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You either care or you don’t…Get a good lawyer…file the proper paper work stating all you have so far and anything truthful you may have to add and get to work…a lot can be done over internet connections…now days Dads have more pull than ever before…I had to go through this with my first wife and while it was fewer miles than you…the, “system”, does want to have the children in the best household for them…I’ll tell you… the confrontational, deceitful and vindictiveness will surface and fall flat on their face…this is, “ALL”, about the child…and not a time for revenge…Me…I won the whole enchilada…primary custody and child support…Good Luck…

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Sounds like you want the man to yourself in my opinion.
That’s HIS CHILD. Half of him. I would support him and fight like hell for that baby.
If you’re tired of it, you leave. That child did nothing to you.

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Any man who don’t fight for his child is a deadbeat. I’m so sick of guys staying with his new family and acting like others just don’t matter. That child needs less of YOU and more of him. Question is is he throwing I. The towel because of making you happy or because he truly wants to? That child will be knocking on your door one day. This is about the child not the mother!!!

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I can’t believe that people actually think this way.

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A parent should always fight for their child!!! No freaking way would I give up on my child!!!

Eeewwww, stop fighting? That kid deserves better adults in his/her life. Hopefully they turn out better than both parties.

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Stop worrying about her
Worry about the child

My son fought he moved close to his children you say it’s not an option but it’s what is more important. If she moved out of his state he could have stopped that though court if your husband moved that far from his child then yes probably over. I no way would I ever put distance between small children ,my adult kids for that matter either.

Put yourself in that child’s shoes how would you feel if your dad just threw in the towel?

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Stop saying me and we! It’s not your fight to grin with. The dad needs to stand up to his child’s mother!

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Angel Morin No… I think shes right. It says she blocked them because they dont want to see pictures of the child with another man. Sounds like she posted them and it made them mad. Id want to see pictures of my kids especially if I couldnt physically see them regardless of whom they were with.

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I Would NEVER Stop Fighting For My Child No Matter What. Even If I Can’t Have Him/Her, They’re Gonna Know That I Fought My Hardest & Never Gave Up Bc That, My Dear, Is What Counts To Them.

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