You can’t expect her to not be allowed in your home just because she’s sick. Your SO has just as much responsibility to take care of his daughter while she’s sick as the mother does. If she was your biological child, you wouldn’t be able to get mad or send her away or not allow her around.
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To be honest, she probably doesn’t care about the fact you have a newborn, and it’s not her responsibility to. If she already had an agreement with the father that the little girl would come over, then that’s what should happen. It doesn’t matter if you have a newborn or not, when you have multiple kids or even step kids, you treat them like your own no matter what and when one kid gets sick, they all get sick, it’s common sense. You just have to deal with it. But you can’t expect your fiancés ex to put your newborn first, because you obviously don’t put her child first.
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You’re not overreacting. Next time take her back to her mothers house if she is sick like that. A newborns health should not be put at risk. Fact of the matter is these parents do not have the child full time and the option is there to keep the sick child away until she is better! You guys are making situations up saying “what if the child was yours”… She’s not. She’s not trying to push the child away she’s thinking of her 5 week old babys health. If i were in this position i would be pissed. Do you people not realize the danger when it comes to an infant and illness? The little girl could have the flu. The baby could’ve gotten it and its much harder for a baby to fight that off! Definitely talk to the father and have him take the girl to the drs if the mother will not! My friend asked me to babysit, said her daughter had a slight cough nothing serious… Come to find out she had severe RSV and my daughter, being a few months younger could’ve gotten that. Im glad i said no but I was beyond pissed she even asked. Do not bring yourself or ANY child around mine if your sick or have been sick within the last month, period.
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I agree you sound like a real step mother. Just remember that your husband had the little girl before you were in the picture. You talk about her as yours and treat her the same as your so . Because when you took the daddy you knew he had a little girl. Children get sick…and get better again. Yours are no diffrent. To say she is not allowed to visit because she is sick is just bad. Why didnt the daddy take her to the Dr then. Your baby will be incontact with a lot of germs that you dont even see they build inmune systems like that
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I’d not be so upset, you can’t banish one child from the other. Kids going to school are always sick, even when they’re not sick. I hope the best for you.
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Man i dont have step kids but if I sent my other kids off because they are sick and I didnt want them around my newborn then I’d never have my kids…that’s not how parenting works…step kids or not they are yours deal with it
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If your husband was ill, would you make him stay somewhere else? I’m assuming not… and your home is supposed to be a home to your stepdaughter in the same way. When she’s well, sick, behaving nicely, struggling, whatever. If she’s sick often, y’all have an OBLIGATION to step up and handle it, and not wait on her mother to do it. This child will grow to resent ALL OF YOU (including the baby) if you don’t treat her like part of your family and exactly the same!!!
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So if u or your SO got sick would you not take care of your baby? Not exposing your child to germs is gunna hurt them I the long run … My son is 3 been sick 3 times and why is that because my child’s immune system is amazing… So much that a couple weeks ago me and my bfs were both sick and my son didn’t even catch it… I have so many friends who’s kids are always sick… And they was always worried about keeping everything disinfected and sanatized…
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If it was so bad why didnt her dad take her to the doctor when she started coughing? Why let her be sick for 2 days in your home and only take the baby to be seen. Seems kind of like you are only thinking of one child in that house. Both of you.
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Overreacting, and for one the little girl was fine when she was dropped off. That is her father’s home too as well as your sons, and she is as much his responsibility. All I can say is wow.
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I work in child care and let me just say some kids have nasty coughs ALL winter long, along with runny snotty noses and all that for months! It’s totally normal some kids are just like that.
Just have your SO stay with the daughter and keep her busy on the weekend and switch and obviously don’t let her near the baby without washing hands and maybe just kisses on the top of his head u know? No big deal
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My bonus son use to come to us from his mom sick ALL THE TIME! he’s now 4 his BM and family ALWAYS smoked around him regular cigarettes and weed! So he was ALWAYS sick switch made my other kids sick. We just have them all meds… One the pluse side of that we just was awarded cousdy of him and his 8 yr old on 28th! But if One kid gets it there all gonna get it. Just like my 22 month old just got over the flu he gave it to the rest of the house hold with Our youngest being 9 months.
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Yep, your wrong. Just because you have a new born does not mean that you SO can stop being a parent to the child that he already has. Kids get sick. That’s not new. 
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It sounds like she didnt know her daughter was still sick…and maybe shes got bad allergies? Why else would a child thats been to a dr repeatedly and been told she is fine continue to show cold like symptoms? I have allergies in the winter…i wake up with itchy eyes coughing and congestion but by noon im usually fine…my sister has it too…she takes zertecs …regardless…the father could easily take his child to a dr his self on a weekend visit without permission from anyone…he is her father…if he wants to take her to the urgent care or ER he can do that…i get you have a new baby and you worry…but the truth is babies have your antibodies at birth up till 6 months about…they have stronger immune systems then you think they do. You are basically saying your baby is more important then his other child…by your description shes always sick and you dont want her around your son like that so you dont want her to have visits with her father at all…cuz shes always sick …what would you do when you have another child? When your 5 week old is 6 yrs old and you have a newborn and your 6 yr old gets sick? Whats the game plan? …i dont get to tell my 9 yr old to get out of my house when hes sick cuz his baby sister might catch it…i deal with it just like you should.
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You are wrong. It’s daddy’s responsibility also to take care of his child when she is sick. You shouldn’t make him pick between his daughter from a previous relationship or your son. It’s the 6 year olds house too. Not just your 5 week old.
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Would you keep your step daughter away when your baby gets sick? I mean if it was something more than a cold I get it. Like when my youngest was a newborn I was so scared that my older kids would bring something back from school I didn’t want him getting sick. Your baby could catch something literally anywhere. So just be cautious keep a tidy house, keep tissues, Lysol and sanitizer on hand. Don’t push your step daughter away she’s just a baby herself instead be the step mom you are and also care for her when she gets sick.
Why does your SO need permission to take her to the doctor? Think of it this way if you had both kids full time what would you do when one got sick? You can’t send them off to someone else every time they get a cold. Kids get colds all the time. Your SO needs to take care of his daughter whether she is sick or not.
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His weekends dosent matter if she sick or not dad and you should be able to take care of her sick or not. You don’t send kids away when there sick. And I habe been there with new born babies and older kids. You guys can take her to the Dr’s as well. I have taken my bonus child to drs , dentist you name it. And when there sick I take care of them… there all my children and that’s how you should be looking at it…
Well if u took yr son to the doc. For the same symptoms yr step daughter had…why not her? Hello…her dad is there too right. Even if she says she feels better…u should have done the same 4 her. U cant just keep her away cause shes sick. Take care of her too. Shame on u
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Sounds like a new mommy to me 
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This is so ridiculous!!! And very maddening!!! So you only love your STEP daughter ( since you made it very clear that she isn’t yours)and only want to care for her when she isn’t sick??? When you marry someone with kids from a previous relationship it’s a packaged deal. Better or worse! SICKNESS and HEALTH! BE A MOTHER TO HER. Wash your hands. Teach her to wash her hands. So gross that you would turn her away cause she is sick with a cold because you don’t want her to infect your newborn. What would you do it she was your biological child? Why don’t you try treating her like your biological child! Things might change between you and the BM! #GROWUP #BEAMOTHER #NOSTEPS #KIDSGETSICK
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I just don’t understand how it would be any different if the child lived with you guys full time and was sick 
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If a child is congested there will be a cough. Once the nose is clear, the cough will go away. As long as their is no fever mostly like is a virus and will go way on it’s own.
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That little girl is HIS child! Why don’t you go stay at a hotel with your newborn since your so worried. Also don’t go into stores or anything like that.
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You are 100% in the wrong. If your step daughter was your birth daughter, would you kick her out of the house while she is sick? What you just did was send a message that your 5 week old is more important than your step child. That is how that girl will feel. She should have an open door into your home no matter what, and absolutely has the right to see her father whenever he/she wants to. I think you are favoring your son over her and it shows. No wonder the mom is upset.
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YES YOU ARE WRONG! I can’t imagine treating my “step daughter” (I don’t even call her that!!) Any different from my own children!!! Have some compassion and treat your step daughter equally! Hopefully your husband sees this and address this or leaves!!!
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If she lived full time with you - you would have to handle. It’s your stepdaughter. Suggest when on her next, you take her to doctor. She may have allergies.
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I isolated me and baby for weeks. When his brother was around I had him wash his hands all the time. It was scary since im a first time mom but it gets better. Don’t let these other moms mean words get to you. Its okay to be worried.
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She’s your husband’s child too, why can’t he bring her to the doctor, why is that all moms responsibility? This whole post doesn’t make sense, kids get sick.
Are you fucking serious?? That is HER house. You should be so fucking ashamed of yourself. You are a sick individual
Kids get sick. It happens. Why doesn’t dad take her to the doctor? Or if you think mom is not taking her to the doctor talk to dad about possible medical neglect. You can’t alienate a child because they are not feeling well or possibly not being cared for properly. Step up and change something for that child.
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Your child isn’t his only child to take care of he isn’t not going to take care of his daughter just because she’s sick but that doesn’t mean that the baby Mama should be so careless and not let you guys know or put more effort into getting her daughter well you have a right to be upset but not for your husband being a father to his child
All my kids got sick at once I didn’t ship them nowhere, my fiance son was sick once and he came to our house for a weekend and I didn’t complain bout it we keep cold medicine, flu medicine, cough medicine around so when the kids get sick they get medicine. If u have a problem with ur step child bein sick then tell her dad to take her in to get seen or have medicine on hand. With ur baby that child will get sick either way she’s there or not it’s a newborn newborns get sick all the time.
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I’m sorry don’t feel bad at all that’s his kid and you signed up for this that’s her brother kids get sick and you don’t get to just say oh she’s sick we can’t have her this week parents that aren’t a broken home doesn’t do that so why should you be so special to tell a child no ! I have had three sick kids at once with a newborn it’s not impossible it hard your always worried ect but THATS PARENTING ! Not trying to make you feel bad but you can’t tell a child no they can’t be a part of their family this week cause their sick ! And if she’s been sick for that long why isn’t her dad and you taking her to the doctor ! Your also parents ? Currently two on my three kids are sick the younger ones and I have about and hour of sleep from the day before yesterday it‘ happens keep and eye on him stream the bathroom in the tub put some Vick’s in him and cuddle the babies as in both of them !
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I would be upset too, this flu bug going around is killing people!
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You can feel however you want. Hes the dad and can take his daughter to the dr…
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Gee I guess your husband shouldn’t have his daughter over when she’s sick any more.Since it’s so terrible for you.And if your son gets sick he shouldn’t help take care of him,since he didn’t when his daughter was sick.But don’t worry I’m sure your husband won’t come to resent you for making him choose between his kids.And we know your son won’t ever get his sister sick.
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Why does he need the bm permission to bring the child to the dr? If she is obviously sick, he should have brought her. Especially if it had been going on for over a month!
If it was so bad why didnt her dad take her to the doctor when she started coughing? Why let her be sick for 2 days in your home and only take the baby to be seen. Seems kind of like you are only thinking of one child in that house and that’s your 5 week old pretty sad the little girl cant have a relationship with her father cuz she has a step mom like you pretty sad
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I really hope this little girl does not hear you talking about her like this. You’re making it seem as its her fault she’s sick. Just take care of the poor girl, it’s part of being a step mother.
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Wow… kids get sick. No wonder this little girl’s mother doesn’t like you. Smh…
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Only time i’ve ever told my Step son to stay home is when we were all sick and I didn’t want him to get it.
& why take one child to the doctors and not the other ??? This is so sad
Evil stepmother, I can see it already. Fix up. You are horrible. I hope he sees how you feel about his child and leaves you
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I have an 11 year old with my ex husband. And a 3 year old with my current husband. She had the flu a month ago and she stayed there to keep my son from catching it. (She had the flu shot and still got it).
But if it’s something like bronchitis, a cold, or strep I have always just kept them apart. She will chill in her room to keep from spreading it. And I Lysol everything she touches when she’s out.
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If you’re so worried about it go stay at a hotel or something with your child since you have a problem with his daughter being ill. Kids get ill that’s just part of parenting. I’m sure at some point your baby will get his daughter sick. Should he send the baby away because of the risk to his daughter!? “Engaged” you’re not a stepmother yet and with that mentality about his child you may not be on the way to being a very good one. It’s not her job to parent your baby either. Try harder to co parent. Wether you get along agree or not with her it’s best for the kids. He should not have to neglect his daughter to please you.
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Is this for real? This ‘father’ married you knowing you would see his child as optional to your family? Ok yeah, so when you have another baby, make sure to tell this one not to get sick so you don’t have to ship them off to live with someone else.
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Just wow… I’m very shocked that ANYtype of mother, step, bio, grand, would even post something like this… my 14 yr old got sick with fever ,Sunday started feeling better Monday morning come Monday night sick again… I have a total of 4 kids AND ALL OF THEM STAYED THE WHOLE TIME… this child will feel your dislike for her… don’t say ‘you care’ when it’s clear you are only parenting 1 of 2 kids, your own
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I would take her to the doctor myself if I was that worried. U guys took the baby to the hospital, why could u not make an appt at a doctor whilst she is in your care…then u would know for urself if she is ok 
Instead of squabbling between parents, take her yourself
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Ummm… sorry but she should be consider your child now too… for your husband he doesn’t get to just be oh sorry I dont want to care for my kid she is sick. You do not have a right to be mad. It is your child’s sibling. You wouldn’t be saying this if it was your biological child sick would you
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I understand your thought process, however, you cant completely prevent illness on your child no matter what. And it’s good for his immune system. He needs to build it up. So many people shelter their children from things. I understand if she was running a fever puking and everything else but damn, that’s your stepchild. If you and your hubby have another kid together. And your son gets sick when there’s a newborn in the house, are you gonna send him away ? No. So stop. Be a parent. Period.
I hope when your 6 month old gets sick… you will leave the house and let the father spend time with his 6 year old then🤬
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U cant pick and choose to only be a parent to a healthy child
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Unfortunately that is part of parenting you cant pick and choose when you want the child just because he or she is sick 
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“the BM” …until you’re OFFICIALLY married you too are the “BM”… Also her father doesn’t get to stop being a dad just because she’s sick. 
. Would you send your own six-year-old off somewhere else if she were sick?
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Visitation papers don’t say “every other weekend except when sick”… he could get in trouble if he doesn’t follow the agreement. A lot of sanitizing and keep them separate when she’s there and all should be fine. If she were your daughter and got sick she’d be there anyways, siblings are always around each other sick. He doesn’t need permission to take her to the doctor, if she’s still sick next visit take her to the ER and see what’s going on.
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Well what would you do if it was your 6yr old daughter? Make her leave the house until she got better just so your son wouldn’t get sick?
I’m sorry but as a mother you deal with it. We can’t send our older kids away because we don’t want the newborn sick. You make sure everything is clean no touching without washing hands use Lysol. There’s other ways to keep you baby from getting sick in the future rather than keeping that sweet girl away
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Just like I tell my daughters father. Just because the child is sick doesn’t mean you stop being a damn parent. How is this even a post?
Ok wow she is a first time mom this is what this is for to help build up people not destroy them by bashing them and hoping that her husband leaves her wow what help u people are as for the situation u a step mom what if it was your 6 year old and the baby was from another mother how would u handle it? Put the shoe on the other foot when the child continued to go down hill with the cough and stuff I would of texted the father and other mother and ask if it would be ok to take the child to the doctor and let them know ur worried. Deal with both as a responsible adult. There was no reason to get mad ur baby will be fine but ur step daughter u need to accept as ur own without overstepping.
Actually she is also showing she don’t care about her own child well being
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Yes you’re wrong, when you decided to get engaged to him, his child became yours. You don’t get to chose when to have her just bcuz she’s sick. You wouldn’t like it much if he told you and baby to leave when baby is sick and his daughter isn’t. Keep baby away from sister as much as possible & tons of hand washing and bleach wiping the house.
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You should be treating her like your own sick child 
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If your step kid was YOURS would you keep her out of your house???
My baby tested positive for flu A and B, was in ICU when he was 1 month old…
Do you think I kicked my daughter (6 years old) out of my house???
Grow the fuck up!
Take care of the little girl as if she was your own…
Work on building her system immune system… vitamins, healthy eating, natural remedies at the first sight of a cold, teach her proper hygiene…
Help the child!
During the father’s visitation with her use high precautions during this time! Down to making her wear a mask in the house if you have to…
Do not ask the mother if y’all can take the kid to the doctor… JUST TAKE HER!!!
Is your SO unable to take her to the doctors or something? He’s her parent too. Your kids are gonna get sick, it’s life. You don’t get to just pick and choose when you get to be a parent when said kids get sick
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Ok here is the deal, I am a stepmom too and I also have a very weak immune system and catch everything that comes through my house, but if that was your daughter, you would have to deal with sick kids, that’s part of life, you cannot ostracize a 6 year old just because you are mad at the mom. Your husband is her father and if you guys were truly that concerned she wasn’t getting proper medical care then take her to the dr! He has the right to do that and does not need BM permission. You should have had both kids checked out so you could know for sure and get them the medical care they BOTH needed. You married her dad, she is your daughter too now, it isn’t his kid and our baby, they need both of you, especially if the BM isn’t as proactive as it sounds. The best way to keep your baby healthy is to keep his sister healthy, be more active in her care and her health and then everyone is happy.
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So, if it was your birth daughter would you ship her off until she was 100%? No, you wouldn’t. That’s her father, she’s coming to see. He is her parent through good health and illness. She is welcome no matter what. You should’ve stayed somewhere if you were that concerned… your disdain for the child is evident and it’s disgusting.
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Yes, it’s not only up to the mother to have the child just because she’s sick. If she has been sick on and off for over a month and been to the dr as you stated then it’s possible that she wasn’t sick when first came over and ended up that way. Sadly, it doesn’t seem like you’re worried at all about your stepdaughter being sick. Have your husband take her to the dr instead of relying on the mother to do everything.
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Unfortunately, some woman will throw their kid at you like that. Even knowing you have a newborn. I speak it from experience. I was high risk and 7mo pregnant and at one point was taking care of 4 under 5.
This isn’t only the “BM” it’s your fiancé also. Remember, that as ugly as it sounds at the end of the day. You have to look out for your child’s best interest. Pack up and go to your moms ect. He is more then capable of taking care of his child when she is sick. Especially, with the nasty viruses going around. After, my daughter was born she got a virus in her lungs and she was in an induced coma for a week. I don’t play around about that!
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I’m sorry you feel this way and it sucks but as a Parent I don’t have a choice to stop my I’ll child from being around my other children. This is something your going to have to get over sorry if that’s blunt but it’s a hard reality of parents with more than one child the sickness normally goes through everyone in the home
Why can’t you and Dad take her to the doctor? Maybe she has allergies. Hope you and little one feel better.
This post is so ignorant that I don’t even know what to say except for that this is apart of parenthood so you best get used to it. This won’t be the the last time this happens…you can’t just not have her come on the days he’s supposed to have her because YOU feel inconvenienced. That is your fiancés daughter…you don’t get to just be a parent when it’s convenient for you as that’s just not how it works and he should be super disappointed in you for thinking this way. You are in for a very rude awakening when your son gets older…let’s hope you don’t want to turn him away at the slightest inconvenience.
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If your worried take the gril to the dr yourzelf get her checked out then youll know
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I think you are wrong.
First off you have the right to be upset, as I’d be livid at your step child’s mother. But like a lot of people common sense is not so common, no she should not have brought the child over if she knew child was sick around your newborn that is so so so inconsiderate. So I don’t agree with these comments that you are wrong.
If it’s already too late and everyone one is sick then take all kids to the hospital because they’re all sick at that moment.
So id speak up to baby momma and fiancé so it doesn’t happen again it is your right and you’re entitled to protect YOUR child 100%%%%% !!!
Period!!!
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When you get involved with someone who has children from pervious relationship(s), you take on a responsibility of accepting said children as your own. You should be concerned about all the children in this situation. You and your fiance should be worried about getting the 6 year old to the doctor. Sick for a month is a long time!
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Just take them both to the doctor.
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Kids are always gonna get sick… so what the little girl cant see her dad whenever shes sick… and it’s like if they have a set schedule that can interfere with the moms schedule as well… like wtf. What would u do if they were both ur bio kid and she got sick, youd have to do the same thing your doing now!
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Hey I’ve sent my kids to their dads sick before. He gets every other weekend and sorry he already got to choose that he only wanted to have that bit of time with them. I’m a full time parent with kids sick or not. I had the flu because of my kids but did I send them away when they were sick? Hell no. I took care of them while I was sick. So if they are sick and it’s their fathers time it’s his time to play doctor and take care of our kids. Now if my kids don’t want to go to their dads me and their dad are fine with them staying with me. We don’t force our kids to spend time with a parent if they don’t want to.
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It’s quite simple if you have a sick kiddos keep them home. A friend of mine baby spent a month on life support over a cold. Poor munchkin newborn got a cold from older sibling next thing you know he was in ICU horrible thing.
What I suggest is taking that your step daughter to the doctor yourself.
Mama you’re protecting your own never ever feel like you have to explain yourself.
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5 week old, imma stop their. You should be upset because newborns do not have an immune system yet.
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Sounds likes like we’re not getting the whole story. My daughters father would make me drop her off sick to his fiance all the time and his fiance always blames me and would trash talk me as a mom constantly even though I tried to keep my sick daughter away from her newborn baby. So I dont belive this because of personal experience.
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You should be taking care of her as if she is your own.
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So the kid is sick it happens, the step child shouldnt have to lose out on visitation time with her father because shes sick.!
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I hope she feels better. however, you need to get over it. Kids get sick it happens!!!
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Most of your comments make me fucking pissed
Saying she’s wrong and an evil step mom? I’m sure y’all would want a sick child around your newborn right? Wrong
Regardless if they’re step kids or your own children sick is sick and sick kids and people Shouldn’t be around newborns
Idiots
So, if that was your biological child and she came home from say, her grandparents, and she was sick would you still feel this way!?
You can’t pick and choose when she gets to see her dad. Parents of multiples deal with sick children all the time.
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I’m sorry your baby got sick but unfortunately you can’t keep your kids in a bubble and I’m not saying you have to expose them to everything but they do kind of need to get exposed to stuff and I’m sorry he ended up at the hospital but you should have had the stepdaughter there as well getting checked out at the exact same time as the baby if they both have the same thing it could not be the same thing it could have come from either one of you leaving the house and bring something in just because they both happened to be sick at the same time does it mean they’re sick with the same thing and fortunately and if you feel it’s such an issue take the child to the doctor yourself
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You are over reacting kids get sick it happens I know it sucks and it’s scary but good thing hes doing it now you don’t have to worry about later on get over it
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It’s kinda weird that she is complaining about a cough and congestion her baby has which is common with newborns and she states he took a drastic turn for the worst but the dr at the er said he was fine? Sounds like someone is overreacting over more then just one thing.
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Why does the child father have to ask permission to take his daughter to the dr? Just take her to an urgent care.
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Soo if she lived there would she have to leave if she were sick? If she were ur bio kid would she have to leave being sick?
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If you’re getting married that’s your daughter now too.
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Went through the same thing, Truth is she doesn’t give a damn
I typically would say no matter if it’s a step child or not its his responsibility to keep his daughter sick or not however with it being flu and rsv seanson and having a 5 week old is say deff not or keep you and baby confined in a room with no contact and constantly wash hands the flu or rsv can be fatal to a 5 week old
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I have 3 boys, 2 of whom are in elementary school and bring home germs. They get sick. Shit happens. Yes, it’s scary to have a newborn get sick but what’s going to happen if you guys decide to have another child and your son brings germs home? Make sure your daughter is washing her hands and properly covering her mouth when coughing and it does minimize the risk.
Dont get to choose when your kids are sick 
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Your an awful second parent.
What do you think people do with their sick children. When they have siblings. Smdh
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Well, maybe the daughter was fine before she went and the mother thought she was over it. It sucks but it happens. Even you said she was fine till the next morning. Sometimes it just can’t be helped
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Yes. You are wrong. Grow up
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So what are you going to do if you have another baby and your son gets sick? Try to pawn him off in someone because he is sick and you have a baby? I mean, reality is you have two kids. Period. You can’t get rid of one because they are sick.
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