Sounds like my ex husband of 21 yrs … I am celebrating 29 yrs this time WITH THE LOVE OF MY LIFE 
. RUN DON’T WALK
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I left at 50, buried 20’s, 30’s and 40’s. Not losing EVERY chance at happiness by staying. Frankly, I’m in heaven. Do it!!
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It’s simply just too late. You’re feelings are gone.
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He kissing ass because he knows he will probably have to pay alimony.
You’ve gone above and beyond to make a life with him. Now, it’s time for you ! Why feel guilty? Because he has treated you like shit, and that’s how abuse works. The victim always pays the price. He won’t change.
The fact that you don’t have feelings for him anymore shows that you don’t need him and that you can do without him my dear walk out and don’t turn back
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You should stay. You really need to make it work especially if he’s trying. Think about the kids as well.
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Yeah those feelings will never come back…go and find yourself. I’m about to do the same I wasted 10 years
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Are you kidding me…?! If you haven’t been happy for a very long time… stop wasting your life… get out!
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Meh just go. Live your life to die happy.
Did you ever tell him how he made you feel? If it’s been 26 years and you told him, then he should have known. But if you let him get away with it, never spoke up, then you are to blame.
Life is short and you deserve happiness. Marriage is also a vow. If he is committed to making it work, and this is the first he knows how you feel, then give it a try. You might be happy with him. If he’s given you lip service before, leave. Only you can decide if you will be able to forgive him.
But no life long marriage is all perfection. If you have a chance of happiness with him, grab onto it. You have history that can’t easily be replaced.
No. If you wanna leave it’s always right to leave.
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It’s common in marriage to fall in and out of the merri-go-round of marriage. ~ Especially when you have decades together. It sounds like you need a break from your current situation. Not actually a divorce because if the thought of leaving makes you sick, and you express some guilt, that says you care about him to some degree…even if only a little bit. When divorce happens, there are no winners. It’s traumatic, because it’s life altering. Why don’t you take a trip someplace. Ask some friends to join you on a buddy vacation. It will be therapeutic and with a clearer (refreshed) mind, you can come back and put your marriage in proper perspective. A vacation for a week or two. If the friend(s) can’t make it, ask a relative if you can come for a visit for a couple of weeks to get your head clear about your marriage. While gone, try to think of all the pros and cons of your years together. Sometimes when marriages have went on for several years, you get preoccupied in raising kids and lost in the stress and struggles of life, you forgot what you ever seen in each other, in the first place. If you have a picture album, look thru it. Think about those moments. We’re they happy or still stressful. You say he has ALWAYS treated you crappie, but did he do this when you both were starting out? Was he doing this when you had all those kids? Or did things start to go bad when the kids hit teen years? Or was bad times happening when kids got grown and left home and your both adjusting to empty nest syndrome or the middle age syndrome? 
I’d not throw away 25yrs very easily. Give it some soul searching first. Because grass ain’t always greener on the other side. Think of finances. Think of down time, of being on your own. Consider holidays and he might have replaced you and your still alone. Could you be okay with that? Because grandkids will bring you both back around each other ( quite possibly) during holidays thru the years. It’s lots to think about. Give yourself some time to weigh the situation out. Good luck to you, whatever you decide to do.
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If you spent 36 years with this man and have children, think now that he is acting good. i would give him another chance. Its not a pretty place out here anymore. You may have regrets!
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Just to clear things up… A lot of times when a woman leaves a long term relationship, the man’s very first thoughts are “how could she do this? 
…all these years together“ and so much more, BUT what men don’t think about is all the times she went to sleep feeling like crap because of all the times that he disrespected her or how he kept saying he would change but never did…
Men don’t think about all the times she was there when no one else was.
How she begged to be heard only to be ignored.
Men don’t think about how she always put everyone and everything before herself.
Men don’t think about how her head tells her she deserves better but her heart just screams for him to care
All some men can think is “how could she do this?”
Women don’t just wake up one day and decide to leave.
A mans actions, his words, the way he makes her feel builds up over time and eventually all his crap becomes this weight that she just can’t carry anymore.
When she stops venting to you, when she stops getting on you, when she stops trying to get you to see things her way just know it’s not because you won and finally she’ll put up with everything, it’s because she’s preparing her escape.
So no she didn’t leave you to find someone else. She left so she can find HERSELF. 
Appreciate your woman while you have her fellas because she will get the courage to walk away one day!
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You left a long time ago mentally 
Do what’s best for you
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It very sad that it took 36 years before you decided to leave, but I understand why. He’s being nice now because he thinks you’re leaving. But the minute you decide to stay, things will go back to the way it was for 36 years. So you should leave. You deserve to be happy and you won’t ever be with him. And btw, once a cheater always a cheater. He blew it.
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Nope, just leave, enjoy what little time you have left of your life with someone new
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Life is too short to live unhappily go follow your heart do what brings you joy and peace 
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How old are your kids ? … if they are young enough to be living in your home still , I feel sorry for your kids … the longer you stay with a piece of crap man like that the more your showing your kids , especially if you have girls that that’s the kind of relationship they should be in … please leave him and get you and your kids into counseling
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Do you! You have done for everyone else thus far. Now live! For you!
Hes trying NOW because you want to leave first. In all those years not to treat you well is wasted time. Take care of yourself! Life is short!
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I was in the same s ituatin. Hewas my first love we was together. 24 years. My boys was grown, n I had a full time job. I was done n so was he. I loved him, but i was no longer in love with him. So I packed my bags n moved from Calif to Iowa. My Middle son traveled with me, got a job n his own place. I went on vacation, got used to the area. Met someone, n remarried after a year.we was together 19 years when I lost him to a heart attack. Best 19 years of my life. My. first husband n I was best friends till the day he died. He was a truck driver n when he came thru our area to see his sons n grands, he always stopped by to visit. Yes when he passed, I cried many tears. He was my best friend for 50 years. He was the Father of my sons.
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leave. live your best life xx
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I left an abusive marriage in my mid 40s. Absolutely no love at all. Don’t feel guilty. He had all those years to do right by you and didn’t. Leave. I promise it will be the best thing you ever did. I would also suggest therapy as well to help you through it all. This is the happiest I’ve been in far too long and only wish I would have done so sooner. I even have an 8 year old son. He is much happier and doing so much better as well.
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You do what is in your best interest. Find a therapist and start your exit plan
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There’s nothing new out there,if u can work it out,try,then decide
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When they finally hurt you more than you love time to leave
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Don’t waste any more of your life with someone who will never appreciate you for who you are.
He might change his behaviour right now, but remember a leopard does not change his spots.
As soon as you forgive him and decide to stay with him he will just go back to doing what he’s been doing before anyway.
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Can he give you back all those years of him treating you like crap? No.
Go. He probably thought you would never leave.
Don’t think about how bad things are out there. Think about YOU!
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Leave!! It’s for your self respect!! I stayed in a relationship for over 10 years and regret it so much!! I lost 10 years that I could’ve been happy!!
He will go right back to doing what he was when he realizes you aren’t leaving him. He took for granted for 25 years, he will do it for another 25.
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Sounds like he’s just trying to manipulate you.
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He’s cheating and giving another woman the attention and adoration he refuses to give you. There is no excuse. Zero.
Dont waste another second with someone who doesn’t appreciate you. Its not worth the stress, heartache and damage it does to you mentally and physically.
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It’s not your fault that he’s pushed you to this point. You can’t force feelings, if you don’t love him then that’s that. You’re not doing anybody any favors for staying out of pity or guilt. Just tell him it’s too late, you’ve given him plenty of chances over the years.
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Life is too short to live unhappy.
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That’s tough. I think You can always leave . try to settle your feelings a little first. Perhaps counseling is an option.
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Sounds like a little too late on his part
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Go with your gut and get out
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From what you described, I’m unsure why you’d feel guilty. You don’t deserve to be treated like that.
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He was talking to another woman to make u jealous because u were complaining he didn’t give u attention? That’s bullshit, may be if he was the one who was wanting the attention from you an not getting it then it would kinda make sense making you jealous by talking to someone else but the way it is it makes no sense at all. I think u should defo leave, still got plenty time to find someone who deserves you and can love you the way u want
Ohhh NOW he’s going to treat you nice? BS!!! Now he’s afraid he’s going to lose his maid and probably more!
You deserve to leave!!
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Take care of yourself first. You’ve given him a life and he’s given you nothing.
U do u. U put ur life on hold. Live it up
Go. You will feel so much better when you’re out on your own. You deserve it
There’s a song… It’s too late to apologize…been there myself…good luck to you!
Leave him! You deserve it
I’m going through the same thing. Just leave
This is hard after so many years things became acceptable overlooked and not dealt with from both of you it sounds like from tolerating it to not trying no effort. But also not justifying the message or lying. But no matter what BOTH of you have to make that effort to be with one another, not each of you at opposite times. I would definitely try a separation and counseling while dating again for a couple months to see if you fall in love again and rekindle your flame or if it’s something to work towards again bc deep down there had to have been a time that y’all did love one another with meeting marriage and children. These should be your best years together now. If then it still doesn’t work from both trying then yes. You shouldn’t feel guilty then there wouldn’t be any what ifs and you would both know before ending a lifelong relationship. I wish you both the best either way.
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You are his soul food, if he has one. You are not in the wrong. He doesn’t love you. He loves what you can offer.
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I’m so sorry you have to go through this. You don’t need anyone else to validate your decision to move on. You know your heart and no one has walked in your shoes. I wish you luck in this process and I hope the love you deserve shows up for you.
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Been there leave trust me he ll revert back
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He’s not trying. Google “narcissist hoovering”
Men try when they know you’re done…women try all the time until they’re done. Don’t feel guilty, it’s time for you to be happy. 
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His good treating you is probably just temporary anyway. You go by your instincts of knowing you are worth way more hes had to offer you. Walk right out that door and never look back. X
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What took you so long???
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Don’t waste your time nor his, move on. And don’t be scared, when you’re ready your ready. I hope you find someone who treats you like a queen 
Too little, too late. He’s taken you for granted for far too long. I don’t blame you for not being in love with him anymore, being treated like a doormat is NO way to live! It’s obvious he was cheating on you, you discovered pretty compelling evidence of it. He knows he’s been caught and that you’ve finally reached your limit and now he’s back-pedaling as fast as he can. But you know what will happen if you give in to his BS and give him another chance? Things might be OK for a little bit, but then things will go right back to where they’ve been, maybe even worse. You need to do what’s right for you at this point. It sucks that it had to come to this, but this is no way to live. Leaving after so long seems scary now, but when you’re Free woman? You’ll be so thankful you did! Stay strong and do NOT feel guilty about standing up for yourself!!
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Just leave, it’s hard but necessary.
Just go. You won’t regret it
Leave you will be much happier. I’m on year 6 of being away from someone who sounds identical to what you’re dealing with and I do not miss him at all.
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So after all of these years he has treated you so poorly, now he wants to change. How convenient. Just know this, he’s only doing this long enough for you to change your mind and stay. He will be up to his old antics in no time. You’ve spent all of these years with someone who has made you feel worthless, unappreciated, and unloved. Don’t give a second thought to staying. You deserve better. I know this is a big change and you’re having all of these feelings of guilt. That’s him getting in your ears like a snake. You are making the right choice in leaving that toxic marriage. Put yourself first for once. You will eventually feel so much better. Plus I think you should go into therapy. They can help you with your self confidence and how to move on. Good luck! I’m praying for you.
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Leaving is terrifying. But do you want to spend the rest of your life wishing you would have found someone who cherished you and respected you ( even if that person IS you)? You’ve wasted enough time and effort. If you wanna give it a shot, get counseling, both relationship counseling and individual counseling. Either way, some individual counseling might be a good thing. Even if it’s just to help you figure out what you want to do and organize your thoughts and feelings a little. Not to mention you’ll be grieving the loss of your marriage and former life, and needing to figure out who you are as a person, a woman, not just a wife and mother.
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Hunny you should of left 20+ years ago,go find your happiness you deserve it
You have spent many years trying to be all you could to someone who took you for granted. What he knows that if you leave all the things you said you did will all fall on him now. Of course he’s trying now if you stay he’ll go back to his old ways. It’s probably time for you to start appreciating yourself now. Start being happy. Don’t finish the rest of your life being unhappy. Go find your happiness and love yourself for the good person you are. God bless
I’m going through the same thing right now!! Every thing you mentioned mine has done. I’m sorry 
It’s not gonna stay that way him trying. once he is sure he changed your mind and you are staying he’ll go right back to the way he was. Don’t waste anymore life being unhappy
it’s to Late for him to Try now.He has taken you for granted for far to long. I would Leave. He should of tired years ago…To late now
People can only treat you how you allow them to. Know your worth and know how you want to be treated. Don’t settle for less. You deserve to be with someone who respects you and treats you like you should be and want to be treated. Never settle. Leave his sorry butt now and get a life of your own. Get to know the real you. They you without him. Figure out what you like, how you want to be treated, what you are and are not willing to put up with. Have a relationship on your terms. Never settle for less. He got caught cheating and now is acting this way because he don’t want to lose his maid, not his wife. Sounds like you have been his maid and mommy and not his wife. He has it good and don’t want to give that up. Once things calm down and you forgive him, he will feel more secure and will go back to cheating, if he ever even stopped. Probably still doing it but hiding it better. Get out now. File for divorce and kick him to the curb. Go find your happiness before it’s too late.
You leave if you’re feeling like this. Never feel guilty for leaving because he didn’t treat you the way you deserved.
I totally understand for I am in the same boat for 33 years. The love is gone and its like living on autopilot day after day! If you have the ability to leave do so and BE HAPPY! You being happy again is the best gift ever for your kids too! Wishing you all the luck and love you deserve! <3
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I’d leave or openly date.
Once you say okay I will stay he will go back to his old habits.
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It sounds like you’ve made the decision which is hard now you need an action plan of how your leaving and where you’re going good luck. You will be happy again you got this 
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Live YOUR life! You
stayed for your kids…
Now GO FOR YOU! 
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Not wrong at all. It is how you feel. It is best to move on.
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I left a 33 yr marriage bc of the same reasons and then some…best thing I ever did! I just wished I would be left him many years ago!
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He’s playing, it will last 2 weeks max. Leave, you’ll feel so much better in all things. Been there. You got this, if you are tough enough to endure that asshat that long, you are strong enough to leave and really live.
You have to take a leap if you’re not happy and you know that you never will he happy with him again just take that leap
He’s only trying because he knows it’s over
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You are in the next stage of your best life, kids are grown u have more time, more money on your hands. Enjoy it. If your happiness is in leaving then by all means walk away
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Leave asap! No love in a relationship is a bad thing…file the papers if your married and serve him …get all the details figured out ahead of time and tell him he has to go or you will…
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All this sounds like to me is a manipulative man love bombing you so you drop it and he can go back to being who always is later. 
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It’s your turn to be happy 
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Go. Live life for you
He’s trying to make you feel guilty for it all , go n take care of yourself.
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Shouldn’t take for you to say your going to leave for him to make an effort. Do what makes you happy.
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What happened about your wedding veils about through thick and thin. There’s not going to be all good times in a marriage, you grow together and you grow apart and you grow together and you grow apart it’s like a yo-yo sometimes. Have you looked at yourself to see why your husband doesn’t treat you as well the last 25 years as he did the first 10 or 11 years? Have you taken care of yourself have you exercised and eaten right? did you try to be spontaneous? Did you try to be exciting on a constant level not just occasionally? Did you set example to your children on know how to treat a mate and how to not just walk out of a relationship just because you’re bored? You’re young at 52 so just want out because you’re bored and want something new perhaps? Usually if you treat a man right, he will treat you right back.
sounds like there’s little to no communication on a personal level and it takes two of course but you need to get a hold of him if he’s a good man, right for him, Sounds l like he’s trying, I think you’re wrong for not trying. You have too much time invested to quit now. You put up with a good relationship for at least 10 years and then you say for the last 25 you haven’t been happy. If you’ve gone this long together for your kids sake ,stay together and put all your effort into rebuilding your marriage, You may find you love him more than you think when you get one of these sorry ass men that are out there now. Then you’ll be too late.
You do what your heart desires! Follow it! Your on the right path! You got this mama 
Sounds like a narcissist RUN!
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You are not wrong at all!! If you do not love him anymore you would be wrong to stay! Go find Love, you deserve to love and be loved!!
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Don’t live like that anymore, he does not deserve you or anyone else. Don’t be miserable anymore live your life and be happy. 
Leave , go live your life for you now !!! Don’t feel bad .
Tell him sorry 30 years to late !!!
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Any answer on this without hearing the other parties version is completely ridiculous.
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When someone is only making changes bc you are trying to leave, keep leaving.
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Start your own life 
Once I read he treats you like crap, I basically stopped reading. If you’re not happy, leave. You’ve spent WAYYYYYYYYY too many years in an unhappy marriage. It’s time for you to be free. If he truly wanted to, he could have “tried” years ago. Be free!
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If you live your life to keep others happy . You will miss out on your own happiness. We all have a right to live our own life to be happy & be appreciated & loved .
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You’ve been together for 36 years. He’s like a habit you’re giving up. Of course you feel sick. You have probably never lived on your own. It’s a little scary. But you don’t have to put up with his crap. Yes, now he’s trying. He’s in a panic. He never thought you would really go. But he doesn’t want to lose his main cook and bottle washer. His maid and laundress. His whipping post when he’s in a bad mood. You never said that he hit you. But words cut like a knife. They leave scars too. Why put yourself through it? If you back down and stay, he’ll go right back to the nasty stuff that makes you able to leave. Go and make a life for yourself. Be content.
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