Run out the door and don’t look back …
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It’s never too late to be happy. Love yourself and always put yourself first.
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At the end of the day you have to be true to yourself … 
Life flies by .
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leave him. Don’t even try , don’t even feel sick…just leave…
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It’s going to be scary because you’ve been with him your entire adult life, but just listening to your story anyone can see how unhappy you are. You did your job, raised your kids and held your family together. Now they’re all grown, go find your own happiness! 
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LIFE IS SHORT!!! Do what is best for you.
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Nope. Don’t feel guilty. Not at all. He had plenty of time to work on the relationship. He had many years in which he could’ve made the effort. Don’t feel bad for finally recognizing that you deserve better! Gods speed
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For him to little to late go and enjoy you’re life don’t feel guilty that’s what his doing to you to make you stay.
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You sound just like me. I was married 50 ears and recently moved into a senior housing apt. I still se him ad we are friends. We just live apart.
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Just leave… He’s already robbed you of far too many years
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Don’t let him make you feel guilty for leaving you need to self respect yourself girl your 100% worth more than hes not giving you, walk out that door and never look back x
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Go… don’t look back…. Life’s too short….
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Run 
your unhappy and not in love with him anymore! Just because he’s “trying” now doesn’t excuse the last 36 years. I would definitely go find myself some happiness life’s way too short!!
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Stop agonising and do it.
Look up Narcissist. Could you live in a seperate room if your house is big enough?
I would separate with little to no contact before making the decision to divorce. There’s a lot of steps you can take before leaving him completely. I will never encourage another woman to leave her husband based on minimal info. Only you know if your marriage is salvageable. He is in his sorry phase. If you give in he will revert back to his old self and will know you will tolerate further disrespect. Don’t make things easy for him by brushing this under the carpet. I’d walk away to clear my head and see if this is something you’ll be able to tolerate. Remember, you found the messages, he did not come to you with a confession.
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No… you gotta do what’s right for you
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This is my story and I divorced
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Too little too late! Nothing he does now can make up for 30+ years of emotional neglect from this man.
50 is still young - go and discover what your life COULD be! Yes, it’s a big step, massive! But, change can be an awesome thing!
Good luck!
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Fuck him!! Throw all his shit out the window! The real question is, is why did you put up with his crap in the first place
He doesn’t love you. He just doesn’t want to lose his live in maid…you. Leave him & don’t look back
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You said he never worried about you so why worry about him!!
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Too little too late, pack yo shiii and GO!!!
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No I wouldnt feel guilty it’s a case too little too late he should of tried years ago only trying now not to lose you, if you stay it would probably go back to the way it was, life’s too short go make yourself happy.
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Too little to late. You finally love yourself. Get out there and really live the rest of your life how you were meant to 
(Commenting then reading the comments after seeing everyone else used the same phrase lmao)
Nope. If he valued you he should’ve shown it many years ago. You don’t treat someone you love like crap. Just remember… life is hard… being married is hard… being single is HARD… choose, your hard… 
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No you’re not he sounds like a full blown narcissist girl leave now ASAP while you can
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get out and stop wasting your life on someone who doesnt appreciate you…hes gradually worn your confidence down so you get out there and make a new life for yourself and stop being a doormat…
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It seems you have lived your life for other people for far too long ma’am. Now is the time for you. You cannot depend on anyone else to make you happy. You have it within yourself to do that. Good luck to you.
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Time to move on and enjoy your freedom and your life,don’t fall for his nonsense, after 25 years he won’t change
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Run like your ass is on fire! I was married to my first husband for 22 years. He cheated. I left. I finally found my soulmate.
You were fooling yourself that he cared… he cares for himself, period. Leave him and start a new life for yourself.
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Go with your gut girl!
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Guilty to leave somebody who wasted 25 years of your life? Start loving yourself and leave.
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Wrong ? No definitely not surprised you didn’t leave him years ago
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you are never wrong to leave a relationship, if you are unhappy then leave. you are in charge of your own happiness.
I think it’s definitely time you started doing what makes you happy . I am a little curious on why it would bother you to leave him if he has treated you so bad. Is there any love for him at all that’s worth trying to fix ?
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If you don’t love him anymore why deal with it, move on. once trust is broken between husband and wife it really can never be fixed. He has berated you and made you feel like you were never good enough…do not trust that he will return to that same behavior if you stay.
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You gave him 36 years to get his act together and he didn’t. Don’t feel one second of guilt for leaving. He’s had plenty of opportunities and he squandered each one.
He will go back to his old ways been there done it,i walked out.But its up to you to decide.Dont feel guilty you did your best,he never.Good luck
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Leave! You’ve wasted enough of your happiness on him. Time for your turn to be happy, no matter how sick you feel it’ll always be better than being with someone who doesn’t respect or value you. He will love bomb you into thinking he’ll change but he won’t.
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He should have upped his game a long time ago… U basically lived your married life surrounded by negativity …it’s time u changed that
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Leave and enjoy your life xx
Rashen Pachkowdie 
Starting over at our age is hard but definitely can be worth it.
You don’t need anyone else’s opinion yours is valid enough. The only reason he cares now is because he’s going to loose his security which is his doing. It’s time to do what YOU want to do 
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Go ASAP. SHOULD’VE DONE IT YEARS AGO !!
If you put him first now and stay he will know you wont leave ever. Then he can be himself again. Its not YOU he is respecting now. Its all he is about to loose. Everything you do now is great, it was all never good enough until he thought he would have fend for himself. There are womens aid groups out there whom you can talk to and they will assist, advise and support you in your decision to leave. That will help with the “feeling sick” knowing you have support. You have given him your best years and he has worn you down. Dont give him the years you have left to be your best self and have a life, do you, have some peace and have fun. There is still time. Good luck. 
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Feeling a bit guilty is natural you did spend a lot of years together but from what you are saying it was misery for you so go with your gut and leave a few weeks down the road you will be so happy time for you to enjoy life and be happy good luck with it
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Thts alot!! Jst leave the damage has bn done u dnt owe him heehaw leave & dnt tell him anything keep urself safe!!
Love has always been a decision. Sometimes they need a reality check
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Adleast he is trying maybe do a trial separation and see if you can both fall back in love and have a open honest line of communication this time around
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Leave, put yourself first and never feel guilty about it. You deserve it
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Leave , work on yourself, be beautiful, be happy x
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After that many years I’d say GO I left my husband after 20yrs together cuz he wasn’t given me what I needed! GGOOOOO
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Who’s the admin?! All this spam on this post
They like to make things “better” until ya take them back and then it might go great for a few months all of a sudden it’ll be worse then before. I’m sorry 
. I have lived this for 15 years and finally gave up. Give you props for sticking to it this long. Don’t feel guilty either. It’s your turn to be happy!!!
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Go take care of yourself…you are number 1…he showed you for years how he felt or is…Say Byee
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Sometimes I’m it’s just too late. Even if h really is sorry. The damage is done. You don’t have to hate him, but you deserve to be happy.
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sounds like an opportunist; love yourself, do for yourself; you should be treated like a queen and the most priority to your man
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Nope! Get out mama! I felt the same way about my kids dad and now im SO happy now that i left. You dont owe it to him to stick around. Make YOU happy
Leave him and take care of yourself… You deserve happiness, don’t be afraid to move on
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Honestly you’ll never be happy like this. It’s too late.
Do what makes you happy and not him! Once a cheater always a cheater. Speaking from experience after 20 years of being true blue found out for was being used while he played! I walked away and feel better about my whole life have a job and the love of my children so my life is complete. I hope you find your inner happiness and best of luck
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Leave. Best decision I made was ending my 11-12 years with a man who made me feel like exactly what you described. My kids are happier with a happier mom.
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I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You know as well as I do the only reason he’s being decent now is because he doesn’t want to be alone not because he’s actually sorry. The behavior change won’t last. You deserve better and you deserve to be happy and to feel loved. NO you are NOT wrong.
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You tried your best it’s to late now
Why would he wait until you are ready to leave to suddenly be nice? I suspect he is thinking of himself and how he can’t possibly manage without someone to take care of him. He waited 25+ years, to realize he drove you away. I don’t buy his contrition, and wouldn’t expect it to last once you decided to stay.
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he put a little effort in a little too late
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As soon as you decide to stay he will go back to his real self!
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Try counseling first and if you can’t get beyond it that’s different. At least your kids will see you tried.
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I wish more people realized simply bring unhappy is a good enough reason to leave. You do you.
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The damage has been done and there’s no coming back from that unless he finds a way to make you fall back in love with him…which in my experience is near impossible, once you treat me bad too many times that’s all I’m able to think about!! People need to learn you have different chapters in your life, each one teaches you a lesson and ma’am I think this next chapter is going to be ahhmazing…don’t go jump into a relationship either. Find your happiness and then everything else will fall into place
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Go live your best life!
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Of course he’s changing now that you want to leave. If you stay it’s only a matter of time going back to the same old song and dance. You tried for 36 years, he’s only trying now that you’ve said enough. Go be happy and live your best life that you deserve!
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He will not change. Maybe for a little until you agree to stay and then it will go back to what it was. Gaslighting, narcissistic & manipulative- it’s who he is & what he knows. Do what’s best for you now. Good luck 
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Your life, your rules! You deserve to be happy! He won’t change forever. Once he thinks he has you, he will go back to his ways. I’m speaking from experience. Of course you don’t love him after the way he has treated you for so long. Why would you? You only get one life. Make yours a happy one. Start living your most beautiful life! 
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Only action speak louder than words he’s trying to manipulate you
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Just go he should have cared when you asked
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only reason he is trying now is because he needs a maid and a cook and a babysitter what is he gunna do when he’s alone and has to cook his own meals and clean his own place and take carenof the kids on his own def a little too late kick his ass out
After years of non-love, it’s ok for you to no longer be in love with him. I’m guessing your kids are grown, so it’s your time now mama. Do what makes you happy. If you don’t want to be with him anymore, get outta there and find what makes you glad to be alive. Maybe see about counseling in your area to help work through everything. Good luck, mama!
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Do you still have kids at home? Can you support yourself and any kids you need to take care of? Will your half of everything help you find a new place? Gather information about your finances, value of home, etc. to be ready for a possible divorce. Do counseling if he agrees. Find a church to attend. Spend some time updating your hair, clothes, makeup, and get some exercise. Be your best self. Do you have family and friends who will be there for you? Can you find a counselor to talk to, to get advice about what to do, if you don’t do marriage counseling? Best wishes for your future. No one can tell you what to do next, because only you have to live with the consequences, but with more information, it may become more clear which way to go.
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You are making the best decision for you. You have given him 25+ years of your life to treat you like a wife. Now it’s time to move on.
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If you’re feeling sick about the idea of you leaving, then it’s not the right thing to do! You’re in the wrong mindset. You should be deciding to fail back in love with this man and put your efforts back into your marriage. Don’t throw away all of those years.
I would leave. You have nothing to feel guilty about. When you were showing him love he wasn’t giving it in return. You finally woke up, and you’re now learning to love yourself. Leave and be happy doing it.
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A leapord doesn’t change his spots
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