Why would you put this on Facebook?
If you no longer love him and you’re not happy living as parents to your children and can’t be your true self then I say it’s time to go be happy.
But I’d you think you could fall back in love with him with time and work/counseling and that he’s be 
all in also to make it happen then maybe try.
But, sometimes people, even spouses are in your life for only a season. I am a believer in marriage and not just making it easy to divorce or leave but you need to be happy. If staying isn’t going to allow you to be happy and live your best life including your best life TOGETHER then maybe this season is over. Life is too short to not be happy/fulfilled. We can be more fulfilled alone than trying to be with someone who is draining our energy and happiness from us. No one should want that for you. Most importantly yourself.
Ask yourself this question that my amazing loving and departed momma taught me. She taught me that whenever I have a question that I am having trouble answering, that if I a see it this way I’ll have my answe in what to do.
“Will I regret that I do or regret that I don’t?”
So now you go through both scenarios on
Would you’d regret if you do leave and what would that look/ play out, or mean or would you regret it if you don’t leave and how that would look, play out or mean for your life? Answer honestly for yourself and for what you want your future to be and you will have your answer!
And also,
DON’T LET ANYONE MAKE YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT YOUR DECISION, IT’S YOUR LIFE! You don’t owe anyone and explanation!!
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Looks like he’s a narcissist.
If you’re feeling sick about leaving him, then maybe you’re not as ready as you think. Could that sick feeling be that you’re scared to be alone or maybe because you still love him. Those are questions only you can answer. I’m not saying do or don’t leave, but maybe there’s more to think about than you originally thought. Maybe marriage counseling would help steer you both in the right direction. It will help you see things from clear vision. Just a thought. Best wishes to you.
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Short, simple answer… NO.
Should have left 25 years ago… That’s a very long time to feel like that, too long!
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Leave now And take everything with you that you deserve to get if you’ve been with him that long
Leave the CHEATING BASTARD!! Once a cheater always a cheater-if you don’t leave him then he will think he got away with it and won’t stop!!!
Don’t feel guilty. He will go back to his old ways. I know fromm experience.
Leave, give yourself time to heal and love again
A waste of 25 years. Sorry he treated you so bad, but life is short, leave and be happy, you deserve it 
You can’t feel guilty. You don’t have to TELL people how to respect you. He didn’t. And doesn’t. You have lost the love. And it may turn to hate and disgust. Tell him bye because staying is also basically lying to him.
If you don’t love him, aren’t feeling loved and haven’t for 25 years… girl is that how you want to spend the rest of your life? You said you feel guilty for thinking about leaving him because he’s trying… but didn’t he have 36 years to try to love you the right way? Did it not matter to him until he was faced with consequences that affected him directly? Did YOU not matter until his actions began to affect HIM?
I’m not going to attempt to try to tell you what you should do. Nobody here truly knows your relationship like you do so nobody can make this choice for you. But I urge you to really take a step back and evaluate what you want your future to look like. He’s already shown you what is acceptable to him. Now YOU need to decide what you are going to accept from here on out.
Sending lots of love and warmth your way 
I’m so sorry you are having to deal with this. You deserve so much more.
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You’re not wrong, but you are about 20 years late. Just do it. It doesn’t sound like a guy you want to spend your golden years with.
Too little too late. Move on.
You wasted 25+ years on a man…wow
Girl leave now so you can go be happy after all those years you deserve to be happy so get out as fast as you can because tomorrow is never promised
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Why did you stay with him this long. Throw him ou & go to court & get support. You deserve it after this long
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Don’t feel guilty. We’re on borrowed time in this world. Go out there and find happiness. You’re too important to settle.
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Sounds like to me now that he sees u r really wanting to leave the man u really wanted out of life is coming threw because he knows u want to leave that is not ok he could have been that man all this time but chose not to because u let him get away with it and this is a manipulative move on his part mayb u feel guilty because the man u fell in love with and new he could be is coming out now that he knows ur serous…so not fair to u guilt is a huge tool men or woman like him use to get what they want trust me i know. I really believe the longer u stay the more unserious he thinks u r i know its hard but u really need to start a new life for urself when I left my first husband all i had was the clothes on my back and 80 dollars if it wernt for the help of my family it woulda benn so hard starting over but I was willing to take that chance i had 2 sons both over the age of 18 but it was rough to say the least starting over i felt alone and lost but my sister was always there u need to connect with someone u trust and move foward hon b4 u lose all hope in urself dont do it for anyone but urself hon and ur kids happiness and a healthy relationship is what they need to see or they will grow up treating or being treated like u and ur husband u dont want that for them goid luck in ur new life
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he is sorry he got caught with his hands in the cookie jar, Leave…he will only go back to his old ways if you stay. Best thing for you is to get to know God and His Peace.
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run…he will just go back to the same crap if you stay. Time for you to do what makes you happy.
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He is only changing because he didn’t think you would leave him. If u stay he would go back to his old ways. Keep moving forward and don’t look back.
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Life is short. Get out.
Sometimes it’s just too little too late unfortunately.
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Do what you want to do. Happiness doesn’t come from another person and love is too complicated to say you have none with this man you have made a life and family with. Who’s to say love could be found somewhere else with none of the history or hard work? Why not find a way to be happy without depending on someone else making it happen before displacing yourself on an endless search for happiness in someone else?
Run and don’t look back
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Don’t leave. Divorce is trading circumstances not healing. I suggest prayer for God to fill you with love, compassion, mercy and forgiveness. Hes a human being with a flawed human nature just like all of us. It takes a lot to overcome the past but leave the hurt and disappointment in the past and give him a chance. He clearly loves you its just not a perfect love but it is a place to begin. You won’t regret it. Marriage often requires work and sacrifice. Your children will reel from a divorce and you will lose so much. Choose love! Always choose love and if you don’t feel it pray and pretend until you do. Love is one thing God promises to fill us up with. It’ll come. Someine once asked me what we did when we first fell in love and suggested incorporating some of that again. Change perspective and find activities that build your esteem in the meantime. Garden. Paint. Sew. Play piano. Go to a Bible Study- there are super sweet, kind and supportive, nurturing, caring women there. My best advise of 50 years of marriage. A hard marriage. My love and commitment are strong- thick or thin. We get all of eternity when we love God, so quit acting like this is all you get.
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The only wrong you did was wait so long to leave.
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Close the door behind you!
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You are not wrong to move on from years of psychological abuse. Go be happy.
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It’s better to be alone than unhappy! I left after 38 years and I never looked back!
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He’s doing everything right meaning he’s always known what to do but chose not to, until now. Don’t look back! You reap what you sow and he’s had it coming.
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Stay out live him and have it all . My husband was a jerk for almost 30 years. But I chose to stick it out . Because I had been divorced before . He died 3 years ago. I get a good SS check from him his pension my home everything I own is paid for . Men usually die before woman . My ex husband lives with me during the winter now . We have remained family since our divorce in 1988. He usually spent winters at my moms or sisters house. I asked him for help when I needed hip replacement surgery. We found out than we enjoy each other’s company we make each other laugh . He has his own room here . Look forward to the end game . I did and I won
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Should have left him a long time ago.
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You feel guilty because you have specific reasons why you want to leave, and now he is “changing” into the person you wanted him to be from the beginning, the person you knew he could be, the person he chose to not give you until now.
He thinks if he changes you’ll stay and so you feel guilty because he’s “fixing” the issues you say you have and if he does that then why leave?
As you said though you gave this man decades and he only decided to choose you when you were walking out the door. He’s too late.
Why do people think choosing someone as a last result is choosing them. No that’s realizing you have no other option. Noone wants to be a person’s last option.
I’m either first or I’m out of the equation. If you don’t think about me before you do or say anything, you aren’t choosing me, period.
Hun, you gave him all you had to give, don’t stay with someone who took decades to see your worth, especially if you have no love for the man. When the resentment outweighs the love it’s time to leave.
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It’s time to live and enjoy your life. Money doesn’t mean anything. Memories are everything.
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And you are just realizing this now ?
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I’d say keep in the path your on now. Divorce him and find your own happy
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When you stop giving a shit, it’s over and you’ll never get those 36 years back. Go and enjoy the rest of your life, you deserve it. Don’t kid yourself, your kids have watched it their entire lives. They’ll understand and support you through the transition!!
He’s only trying because he got caught. Leave
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I’ve been in your shoes. It’s a terrible feeling to feel unloved. I always try to make things work. I’m not sure why tho. Things do get better. Make yourself happy in whatever your decision. Good luck !
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No don’t feel guilty, if anything he’s probably trying not to pay half of everything. Leave for you and live your life. You are 52 not 96, you still got more living to do 
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Leaving is the best thing you can do for yourself good luck
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If you truly feel in your heart you are done and will never love him again it isn’t fair to you or him to stay anymore. You deserve happiness and tomorrow isn’t promised. The longer you wait the more time you waste
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I was in a marriage very similar and in order to get what I needed from him I had to threaten to leave but it would always go back to being ignored and everything being on my shoulders I left and I never looked back. Best thing I ever did
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It is tolatebaby now thoughIIreally tried to make it.
36 years ago Men weren’t supposed to “show” caring ways. They were told “not to cry,” “grow-up” while still around 7/8 years old. A-holes are just grown men with a lot of insecurities, and that produced insensitivity’s. Try counseling, it may help you decide, as long term marriages do have ups and downs with feelings. The question is, Is he a good man and is he willing to change to be the man your heart will desire? Sometimes you have to take some steps back to realize that he is worth the effort to keep the relationship. Rewrite your story, or be verbal about what your expecting from him. Love and being in love are two different things. You’re sad he’s not what you think he should be. Did you ever have the talk? Expectations of what you wanted from him? Sadly, most don’t. It’s the most important talk for any relationship. Put it in writing- each of you, frame it, and go back to it, as reminders to the promise of why you wanted each other in the first place. It’s not too late.
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Go on and get gone. Never too late to leave.
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Kick him out, you deserve so much better. Or run, whatever it takes to be rid of that man!
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Should have left him 25 plus years ago!
Go to marriage counseling that’s a long time to be with some one, maybe take a trip with him just you and him and have a long talk’ I would try one more time, I wish I did.
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Thats a typical narcissistic person. Leave and never look back girl.
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Life is short. You need to feel loved and important too.
He dug his hole. The damage is done. He’s a narcissist. If you stay he will go back to his previous ways
Life is honestly too short. This is just the message you have seen. That is a huge red flag that he has probably been cheating for awhile now. You deserve to be happy whether you remain single or find someone you can fall in love with. Keep the separation on good terms for the children no matter their age. Good luck!
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It’s hard but GET OUT!! You’ll have given him your all now you need to give your love to yourself and your children!! I’ve been there and have made a wonderful life for myself…its hard at first but one day at a time…he won’t change for you…has he tried? You have and sometimes people and lives change…good luck…hoping the best for u and your family!!
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Take something to settle your stomach as you leave him in the dust
Well if you want to put up with his shit please stay,your life will never change until you leave and start a new life for yourself
The fact he’s “trying” to change after you said you were going to leave him sends a big red flag. If he truly cared he would see the wrong he’s done before those words came out your mouth. Sorry your going through this hun, but seriously just leave and never look back.
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He’s not trying! He’s manipulating you! He will go back to his old self when you settle back down. Get out.
If you’re in a marriage without Love respect honesty and God you need to think about you. I have learned by a marriage like you’ve gone through it’s not worth it you need to be happy I had to learn to be happy to have God in my life everything else came together I am in my second marriage will be married 15 years couldn’t be happier. And I am 54 years old.
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Dont stay where your heart is not. Dont stay for him, leave for you! It’s time you make yourself happy.
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Wrong? Absolutely not! You have spent many years. Being unhappy. He had his chance. Get out. Get yourself a new wonderful life. You deserve it. Men could be just awful. Then when they see they’re losing. They realize what they have. Get out. He doesn’t deserve you. GOOD LUCK!
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Where are your running shoes, girl?
Lace ‘em up and go live your best life!
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you’ve stayed with him for 25 years, those years are wasted and gone, you can’t get them back. you need to decide if this is the life you really want
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You might try speaking to a lawyer about what you need to do legally, talking to an accountant or financial planner about what divorce is going to mean to you financially, and a counsellor to help you address your anger and move forward either to working to get your marriage in shape, perhaps only until the kids are out, or going down the path of splitting up your possessions and getting that divorce that is at the forefront of your mind. Start making a list: are you better off with him or without him?
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My advise is for you to leave,you no longer love him.Your children are grown,it’s time for you to live the rest of your life happy.
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Have you tried marriage counseling? If you’re still feeling sick thinking about leaving maybe a part of you does still love him? You deserve to feel loved, important, appreciated, valued, and cherished. I completely agree he hasn’t shown you that in the past, but you said he’s trying now. Would it be worth it to try one last time? To give it your all before you walk away?
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Life is too short. Go enjoy it to the fullest.
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Just leave! As soon as you accept his apologies, it will go back to the way it was!!!
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Lemme try and understand this…
He at the very least began something that could lead to emotional or physical cheating, and when caught it was because he wanted to make you jealous, because HE doesn’t qct affectionate/loving towards you? Absolutely the fuck not. Not healthy for anyone involved step away and take the extra weight off your shoulders.
He’s changing so you won’t leave him and make him pay alimony . He will just get sneakier with his cheating . Get a good lawyer and leave . You don’t need a man to be happy .
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He had plenty of time to fix it when you were crying about it and didn’t bother to why do you feel bad for him he didn’t feel bad for you when the shoe was on the other foot make yourself a priority don’t stay in a loveless relationship it will never end well for you
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One life. That’s all you get. ONE. LIFE. Live it for YOU.
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you should have left a long time ago
Get going and do not look back!
This is what I learned after leaving a 24 year marriage, at age 48, and 4 adult kids. I-hated my ex, took me a very long time to get over it. 2-got lonely after 2 years even though I went out with friends a lot. 3- I got married and it sucks that I can’t have the conversations I would of had with my ex if we were still together. 4- starting over sucks.
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You need to find a counselor to help you decide. Once it’s done you may wish you had. Knew someone who left after 38 years and found out grass wasn’t greener on the other side. It was sad.
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Too little too late. He’s sorry now, but the hurt and damage is done. Ask yourself this, would you be happier without him? If it’s yes, then leave him now. DO NOT WASTE ANOTHER YEAR OF YOUR LIFE BEING MADE TO FEEL THAT WAY
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First off…You deserve what-ever happens…It’s you’re own damn fault for lett’n sumone treat you like crap…once…much less 25 years…You shudda jumped ship a long time ago…I’m truly sorry for the mess you are in…You have every right to divorce him…Take him for every penny you can…As payment for being his cook/maid/lover/…While being treated like crap…Find you a man that cares more for you than you could ever imagine…Not all men are dogs…
He’s not going to change. He may try for a while, but that won’t last. Trust me, I know.
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All I wanna know is: Why haven’t you left yet?
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Life is way to short to be miserable!!
That’s manipulative AF 
Run as fast as u can and never look back.
No your not wrong and he should’ve thought about that along time ago before he treated you the way he did
You are not wrong maybe if he showed you earlier you would still.be in love with him
Not wrong. Go. He’s only “changing” because he wants you to stay and keep being his mom
He is “trying” now because who is gonna do the dishes and fold his clothes when you leave? You are grown, you have raised you kids, it’s your turn to live how you want. Go enjoy your life.
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You have every right to feel the way you do. He’ll do anything to get you to stay because he doesn’t know how to live with out you. Do what’s best for you!
When a woman is done ,she’s done it’s too late buddy,go and be happy
When someone destroys your love over time, it’s their fault. He shouldn’t have played with your heart and feelings. You’ve been miserable long enough
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I hate to say it but since I am older than you I will, you have seen more summers than you’re likely to have to look forward to, love yourself for the rest of them, it should be a natural thing for your partner to compliment you and show appreciation to you naturally and it’s stupid to categorize that message as an attempt to make you jealous when he’s starving you from attention for years. Stop being a doormat and move on
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I think you have already made the decision but you need that little push. If it was me I would divorce him and start living. Good luck in what ever you do.
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In a man point of view I think you should have left a long time ago and never looked back
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Dear soul it’s time you do what will make you happy Go n get that sunshine you always deserved n don’t feel guilt life is to short.Bless you
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There’s a saying that goes “Too Late Shall Be Your Cry” Let him hurt… he will heal…
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Life is too short. Enjoy the rest of yours you deserve it
Leave and don’t look back. It took you threatening to leave after 25+ years for him to finally start trying… too little too late. IMO
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