Any other moms have to deal with this nonsense?

I need to vent and ask other moms something. So my son has been “dating” a girl of another race from him ( for a year). They’re 13 and I’m getting a lot of what is people going to say about that? My answer is it doesn’t matter what other people say about it. 1. He’s my son and I don’t have a problem with it. 2. Who am I to tell my kids who they can like or love? 3. What would I be teaching him? To be racist? I don’t think so!! Others have said this could cause repercussion for him later in life. I’m like mmmmmmk they’re 13 will they be dating all the way to adulthood? Maybe? Maybe not? It don’t matter. If they break up and he ends up with another girl of the same race as the one he’s dating now SO WHAT!! What I’m getting at is I cannot believe people thinks it’s ok to tell their children who they’re supposed to like or love. And long as it’s in within their race it’s that’s the only way it can be. This irritates me so much! We are supposed to teach our kids to love not hate someone bc of their skin color bc we all BLEED RED! Do any of you mommas have to deal with such nonsense as this?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Any other moms have to deal with this nonsense? - Mamas Uncut

You’re doing the right thing.

I’d ask them how is he dating out of his race!? There’s only 1 race. The human race. Now he may be dating someone of a different ethnicity. But not a different race. I’d correct them just like that.

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Tell them to mind their damn business

I’d be responding to “what are people going to say about that?” with “well right now you’re the only one saying anything about it”

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Damn. I dont give a shit about race but dating at 13 :grimacing:.

Who cares about what others think just leave them alone people

You are absolutly right mom​:clap::clap::clap:

I’d ask… what are YOU saying about that ? It’s 2021 and the only people that care about that are racist .

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As a mother of biracial children… you’re doing the right thing.
To me, idc if one of my children date a purple person with pink polka dots, and they make them happy, they’re welcome with open arms.
Just tell your son to not worry what anyone says, and to follow his heart… at the end of the day, we cant change peoples minds, but we can change how we react to their bullshit.

Don’t listen to others. There is so much hatred for people of color and ethnicities. You are teaching your son to love the person for who they are: smart, talented, caring, fun loving, accepting, understanding, knowledgeable, etc

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People still seem to think that bi-racial babies will grow to be deformed. Just act confused if people make comments. I genuinely have difficulty recalling race or skin colour when asked to describe people so I wouldn’t notice anyway! With my own, I’ve asked they stick to their own species but gender and skin colour is up to them.

I have always told my kids and grandkids no one can tell you or choose who you love.

You are right. When I was little my mom told me that I better not bring home a white man. We are native American. It wasn’t a race thing. But a cultural belief thing. Nobody listened tho!! :joy::joy::joy:

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Whoever is saying that needs to be cut off and set straight . Sounds very racist to me .

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My children are biracial so we deal with this automatically from both races. I just tell them there’ll always be things said to them but to not let the words get to them.

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My kids don’t know any different. My father in law is a black man and my kids and nephews are the whitest (Hispanic) kids you’ll ever see. Sure when we are all out in public and people hear them calling a black man grandpa we always get the weird looks from people that don’t understand (who cares? We don’t) people are raised to hate on things they don’t understand. You’re doing a good job

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You can’t control what other people think. So, let them… :woman_shrugging:
My dating history has more color than a LGBT flag. And? My husband know and he wouldn’t be my husband if he cared.
My son is 20 and he’s half Puerto Rican. His gf is Mexican American. :woman_shrugging: He’s happy, I adore her… Life goes on.
Let ppl be who they are. It doesn’t require anything from you to ignore them.

I had a bf of a different race … he told me people would stare at us… I never noticed … but if they had I would of lost my shit! It blows my mind people are saying things to you! I’m raising my daughter to treat everyone the same… if she wants to date outside her race or the same sex… I support my kid :100:

I would question whether they need to be part of you & your sons life. If they are vocalizing how they feel about him dating someone of another race chances are they are racist themselves. Are those the people that you really want you and your son to be associated with? They will also begin to make sly comments to your son about this, passive aggressive type things.

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I don’t Deal with racist people in my life
PERIOD
who ever is saying these things to you, you need to Delete from your circle
THAT’S how you solve the problem

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You ended this perfectly
It’s nonsense!!

Don’t care about what others say.
But I would definitely sit him down and go m have a serious talk with him so he knows how to protect himself, his heart, and her when people act up.

I had a few interracial relationships when I was a teen/younger and nobody prepared us for the amount of nastiness we got. And I often felt like it was more directed at me, which makes sense in this world bc I’m not white, but even though my BFs were angered by it, they didn’t know what to do or say. And that hurt, too.

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Stand your ground mom. You are definitely teaching your son correctly… we are all human. And that’s all that matters. Glad you’re supporting him.

I’m going through the same. My daughter is 12 & has her very first boyfriend who is black. I’ve always told all my children that they can date whatever race as long as they are treated with love & respect. Her father on the other hand doesn’t believe in that & feels you should date your own race & would disown if you do otherwise. He doesn’t know she has a boyfriend yet or that he’s a different race. She’s kept it quiet from him since she knows how he feels about the situation. She lives with me full time & goes to her dad’s every other weekend. She doesn’t talk to her boyfriend while she’s at her dad’s house visiting. I’ve seen first hand how he was with our much older children & he disowned them for their dating choices. I don’t want her to go through what they went through, but I want her to have the choice to decide who to love regardless of race.

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At this age they need to focus on a lot of things . Race not being very high on the list. Teach them what they need to know Help them with their feelings and those wild hormones

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well done you wish there were more like you x

No and I would stand my ground for my babies like your doing keep it up mama that’s what we need not raciest comments or ways to show our babies . Love is love no matter the color as long as they treat my babies with respect and unconditional love :two_hearts:

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Oh yeah people definitely still cant stand mixed races … makes me sick a whole side of my family stopped talking to me because I have a mixed daughter… and people have yelled slurs to us (her father and I) just going for a walk down our street. But you’re doing great mama let your son love who he loves and not see anybody because of their color of their skin…

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I got some flack initially from my Mom the first time I brought someone home of another nationality. That relationship eventually soured and my next relationship was with another person of different nationality. I eventually married someone outside of my race and she came around to the fact that love sees no color.

I’ve always been open to these types of things and I think color shouldn’t matter. Its the inside that does.

Keep up the good work Momma!

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If its ok with you and ok with her parents then who cares what other people think they the ones being racist

I would start telling them to quit being a racist pos.

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Love doesn’t have a color…god bless them…they are smarter than most adults xxx

I can’t believe this is still an issue it’s literally 2021… People suck. You’re doing great keep up the good work. Teach love not hate

Ur a good momma. It is 2021 and I can guarantee that the people saying it could cause repercussion for him are older. Unfortunately racism is taught. And let’s face it, My grandparents and my parents grew up different. They didn’t even go to school with different races. U are doing the right thing momma. :raised_hands:t3: maybe someone can learn from ur parenting :heart_eyes:

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Lord where do you live?!?! I understand maybe these being legitimate concerns even ten years ago, but now I would just be more concerned with whether or not my son or daughter knew if they were a son or daughter and would want them to date someone who also knows if they are a son or a daughter

Awesome job parenting. Whom ever has anything to say about it doesn’t need to be a part of your lives as their racism is showing.

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I agree. I told my daughter to treat everyone as equals.shs has friends that are transitioning and most of these kids at 14 are dating already. Who cares who makes others happy? It shouldn’t be anyone’s business as long as they are being safe and being kind.

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My babies aren’t in the dating stage yet, but in our house we don’t care if your black, white, blue, green or polka dotted!! We love who we love and that’s that :heart::heart::heart: good job mama!!!

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Be the change! Teach your children to love who they love. There is always going to be someone who has something to say. People are miserable and misery loves company. He may be 13, dating a girl from another race, but by the time he’s 20, he may be dating a boy of the same race, or a girl that used to be a boy of an unknown race, or maybe he will be dating an alien from another planet. Who cares. Keep doing what you’re doing and teach him love. Period. Not just relationship love, but love for his fellow human beings. Growing up, I was taught to stick with your race. I was taught that because that’s what my parents were taught. Over the years though, it has changed. I have cousins with biracial babies and the family treats them no different. With my children, I’ve made it clear that I don’t care what race or ethnicity they bring home. As long as that person is respectful and treats them right, we will welcome them with open arms. All of my children are white. I have one that is attracted to black men, one who is a-sexual and doesn’t care, one that is attracted to whoever he clicks with and one that says she likes boys and girls. Any and all of that may change. It may not. But I will always defend my children’s right to love who they love.

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I don’t think it’s the race I think it’s the age

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Um, what century are we in now??? l live in Canada…this doesn’t apply anymore

Can’t help who you love even at 13… shut them down, ask them if their racist much or to see their self out of your building. Talk to your son at some point let him know your ok with his choice make sure he understands its not an easy road traveled, good job on supporting him mom.

That to young to date hang out friends at 13 dating nope not at my house it’s 16

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I would not care about race as long as they treat my son or daughter good and my son or daughter is happy but my kids also would not be dating at 12 or 13

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Good job, momma! What you are teaching your son is beautiful. You are absolutely right, we all bleed red! As for the people making hateful and hurtful comments, I would just tell them that I am teaching my kids that every skin color is beautiful, and love has no gender or color. After that, I would leave them alone. Keep raising your son right! Being a parent is hard enough, don’t let other people’s nasty comments bring you guys down. :purple_heart::purple_heart:

We can’t chose who we fall in love with mommy…I wouldn’t worry bout it.let people talk they going to no matter what…u gave birth to your child u do what your heart tells u to do he’s your child…just support him he will love u for it.let hi. Know u are here for hi…your doing great

When they say stupid, racist, things, follow up with, “I don’t understand…” play dumb until they outright say the racist statement. Then follow it up with, “Ohhhhh! I see! Well we’re not racist so…” and leave it right there. Don’t let ppl be racist… call them out!

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I don’t care if she is purple - is she good to him; does he like her for what he sees in her heart?

When I was a kid I had to deal with one of my parents being the racist one. Boyfriends aside I wasn’t really allowed to have anyone over as a kid who was black or gay. Luckily I had kind teachers who taught me better and was also smart enough to see for myself in school that they are all good people :heartbeat:

I think it’s amazing that you’re so supportive and stand up for your son. You’re definitely doing the right thing.
Growing up I was absolutely not allowed to date outside of my race. :roll_eyes: Being gay also “wasn’t allowed” I absolutely despised my parents for it. I met my husband when I was 19 so I never had the opportunity to really date outside of my race, but I could only imagine the hell it would bring if I did. I’m also almost 30 years old and still have yet to come out and openly tell my parents that I’m bi-sexual. I don’t want to hear their bs or deal with their judgement over it.
I actually made a “joke” about being bi to my mom recently, I said “wait until you find out your only daughter likes girls too” she rolled her eyes and said “yeah right, I would know if you did, plus I raised you better than that.” :roll_eyes::roll_eyes: soo closed minded and I can’t stand it!

Many parents have to deal with this and i see youre a great mom and youre doing the right things. You stated your values and you showed your soul through your post, you know what you stand for therefor I know you have the strenght and capacity to deal with this problem. The way I see it is, if people want to have a problem with this I’d simply tell them to mind their own business. And if they get offended state what you wrote here and if they still don’t get it, they’re not worthy of even knowing you and your family. Racism is taught and not natural, alot of people are still racist and I choose not to associate with that kind of people. Its sad to lose people over these issues but sometimes it needs to happen. You sound like an accepting and kind person, don’t let those people make you bitter let them make you better :100:

Thankfully I have not had to deal with this as we have “blended” families on both my side of the family and dads side. Our kids are just use to it and dont question. To them people are just people… the way it should be.

I’m in shock there’s people that think that way🤨 why would someone’s race effect their future and how people see them? And those that see them differently because of their partners race opinion doesn’t matter. I’m shocked smh

I literally cannot process that this is still an issue in 2021 🤦

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Ma’am I am a mother of four beautiful multirace children. I heard it when I was 15 years old when I got pregnant with my first child, and I told them people then it’s none of their business what I go through. it’s none of their business what my child will go through, I will be there for him/ her when the time comes to help them understand. I love my child no matter what. we are supposed to teach our children to love one another no matter your skin color and I wouldn’t change it for the world I would not change nothing you are doing and don’t let nobody get under your skin about it tell them go get f#####.

You are absolutely right!!! Us as humans can’t help who we like/love. As long as both people are being treated with respect and kindness, it shouldn’t matter. The world we live in is so cruel!!!

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You let your 13 year old date??

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Im not racist by any means. I have friends of all race. I was taught some races shouldn’t mix because the world we live in those mixed children get bullied. But who allows their child to date at 13? Im sorry we werent allowed to date till 16.

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13??? And dating what???

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All I can say is GOOD FOR YOU MAMA!!! You’re simply a small portion of people breaking down racism. Continue on raising YOUR son. You seem to be doing a hell of a job.

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Good for you saying it doesn’t matter to you. My son can date whoever he wants male/female any race/colour as long as they are happy and doing everything within the law then he is more than welcome to do it. My very first friend was a black boy and I’ll never forget him as he was so funny and helpful to me but we both got picked on because of his colour but to me he was just a boy. When my son was younger he had a friend who was brown his words not mine and I said so is that a problem and his answer was no I was just telling you he had brown skin but he’s a nice boy and a good friend. People who have issues with it it’s there problem not yours.

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People need to worry about themselves and not others good job momma shut them up at the start no need to even explain anything to anyone

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This is where it’s your responsibility as a parent to instill boundaries on the people who are disrespecting your son and his girlfriend. No one has a right to instill their hate on your family, they should be told point blank that kind of hate will not be tolerated. If they disrespect that, they will be cut off. Not a single person is deserving of being in your life if they disrespect you. Especially in such a despicable way as outright prejudice. I’ve cut off family for much less. Just simply say, “it’s not tolerated, and will never be acceptable to be prejudice towards other human beings around me, and if these boundaries are crossed again I will end my relationship with you.”

Boundaries will protect your son and his girlfriend from this type of bigotry, ignorance and hate. And quite frankly, if that’s how people speak around and about my child or his company at all, we would no longer associate with them anymore. There is no love in hate, and it should never be acceptable.

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The society is rascist.When inter racial couples come out they must be ready for knucleheads.

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Can’t help who u love/like regardless of race or gender I tell my 14 ur old that all time

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So sorry you have to hear those things. Not sure where you live. Mix race couples, families are pretty normal here in Minnesota

I was your son in the situation. Let’s just say my tastes haven’t changed, married to my hs sweetheart of 13 years and my grandparents got over it. Fuck what anyone says. You keep being a supportive mom and you’re gunna be ok

Yall seemed to be more worried about the dating at 13 than anything lmao

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Do not pay attention to what others say put that away enjoy life indeed you can not stop stupid mouths

I have that problem and I’m 25, married and have two kids! People think that you can only love that person if they the same race, their IQ percentage is the size of their shoe :roll_eyes::roll_eyes:
You doing a great job mama, keep on showing him that colour doesn’t matter

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My answer would be repeatedly “fvck em”

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I have a mixed granddaughter—I invite someone to say something negative about her or her genetic makeup in my presence, or who she, one day, decides to spend her time with and love.
Always judge a human by their personality, how they treat others and their actions.
Your thought process on this is seemingly perfect. F*ck the narrow minded. :v:t3:

Can’t believe people still think like that…
I’m off mixed race married to a pure dutch man. No drama still all. Love everyone equally

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If someone has a problem with it they need to be cut off. Not out. Just cut off from being privileged enough to give their opinion. That teaches your son it’s not ok to condone others foolery when he’s involved. This may be a short term gf but it’s a lifelong decision.
Cut off the racist ppl. Toxic.

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Back when I was pregnant with my son 27 years ago, his father said that no son of his will ever date someone from a different race. I told him that I didn’t care who my kids dated as long as long as they treat them well and they love each other. I said I would rather my child date someone of a different race that respects them, than someone of the same race who treats them like garbage. I then told him that if I shared the same views as he did, that his son would never have been conceived because he also Native American. He never brought it up again. He was a little dense.

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When my daughter was 6 year s old she real liked a boy That was biracial. My husband was upset. I told him so what ! I have family that’s biracial cousins to be exact. I don’t see where it’s a big deal.

My son had a crush on a black girl in his class and was afraid to tell us. When I found out I told him skin color doesn’t effect whether or not you can love someone. We talked about how some ppl may make comments about it but fir him to just call it like it is; racist.

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The word racist gets thrown around too much. Racism is an hatred for people of a certain race. It doesn’t sound like they hate her based on her skin color. It sounds like they’re stuck in their old fashioned beliefs. I have mixed race kids. I got no slack at all from whites. I got crap from blacks ALL the time. They told me I’m taking the black men from them, I’m diluting the race, I’m raising my black kids to be white, they would drag my kids away from me telling them they’re going to raise them “right”, he was called a “race traitor” etc. Honestly if I could go back I wouldn’t have had kids with a black man. Not to that I’m hateful towards the race but because the bullying & torment my kids suffered has been too much. I have an 8yo who is in therapy because of what he goes through every day. So no your son isn’t wrong for dating outside his race. But he may want to consider what he’ll have to go through for his choice. The behavior is wrong. But you can’t stop it.

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Good for you! People are people.

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I’m assuming she’s black and he’s white otherwise there wouldn’t be an issue.

My kids and I are biracial, but we’re on the lighter side of it, my kids get a lot of hate just because they aren’t darker like “they should be”. When my 13 year old got her first boyfriend she dated within her race, and some of the girls beat her up for it, said she was to light to “steal their men”. Sorry but that sounds like grown ups talking NOT 13 year old girls. Kids are taught to hate, they don’t learn it. The only thing we can do on our end is try and counteract the racist comments and people.

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My SIL is a POC and her and my brother have gotten some pretty nasty responses to their love, but theyre also in their 30s so its a little easier on them to not get upset. I love your viewpoint, but I would honestly just have a talk with the GFs parents about talking to the kids and preparing them for these kinds of negative comments, because people don’t care if they’re 13, they’ll still say something about it.

Bigger question, why are your kids dating at 13?? Humm no. Just asking for trouble.

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I have 8 children(adults who are all wonderful) growing up wet told them we would never judge who they love we didn’t care if they were yellow with blue polka-dot(just to show COLOR MEANS NOTHING, as OP said we all bleed red)as long as said person was good to them and they loved one another. We’ve got 4 straight, 2 lesbian,1 pan, and one(18) who just don’t know yet​:rofl::rofl::rofl:. I’ve got mixed grandbabies and they’re just as special and just as beautiful add my non mixed grandbabies. Only privilege dates based on skin color because Karen is afraid of what Linda would think. You’re raising that kid perfect let him love who he loves and who loves him back and tell those other people to shove their “concerns” he’ll be a much better adult than their children, any day go mom!!!

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As sad as it is…my dad still told me at the age of 40 its wrong. We didn’t speak a lot for a few years because of it.

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I’m white and I guess these people don’t realize trash comes in all colors. I want my son to be with a GOOD GIRL. I’d rather her be purple and a good girl. The color doesn’t matter, who she is matters.

1st of all they are on,y 13 I agree with everything your saying seriously don’t listen to these racist people this is why there so much trouble in the world. Your teaching your son right

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I think that’s a their problem rather than a you problem.
Honestly, cannot believe that kind of attitude is still alive in 2021!
You carry on teaching your child to love who he loves :blue_heart:

Uhhh. Hell no! I have a mixed baby… (lil of me then native and black) She is BEAUTIFUL! Obviously they are 13 and aint havin babies (I hope) but when most the world is mixed in the future therw will no longer be racism. This is what those people are trying to stop.

Race doesn’t matter to me. Age is the issue for me, for “dating”. In groups and/or supervision only. Too young to get serious. They will change so much in the years until their brains are fully mature - so they should have no lifelong consequences before then.

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I’m appalled that you simply can’t tell anyone with an opinion to mind their own business— try that

I did but ignored these idiots! Anyone who knows and loves him, and supports him matters!

Ya I had a girlfriend in high school her dad pushed her down the stairs and pulled a shot gun on her because she was dating a black guy the struggle was real for some people.

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The race issue doesn’t bother me at all.
But dating for a little over a year and they are only 13!?! Nope.

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I have actually had to deal with this from my own “mother”(actually my sister) when I was dating (18) my now husband who is Indian and I am native/white. I just told people I will be with who I am with. I love them for their heart and soul not their skin colour. And if any of my family or friends said anything racist I cut them out. (Ie. my older brother) how you raise your son can impact who he is friends with and the future generation. Keep teaching your son to love people who are kind and to teach those who are not kind how to be kind. it’s what I’m doing with my kids.

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My husband is Mexican and you wouldn’t believe the b.s. I have had to deal with. You can’t change a racist persons mind, all you can do is tell them to shut tf up and mind their own business

These kids are learning a valuable lesson - this stuff is still an issue for some people. Pretty sad that it is.

Maybe you should rethink the ppl u allow in ur space and be able to give their opinions openly to u. At 13 I don’t see an issue with dating as long as healthy boundaries are set. Also I am happy u have open the doors of c