Anyone else have a "prenup" situation?

I’ve been dating someone for a year. We have discussed marriage many times. Recently he told me he wants me to sign a prenup regarding his business he owns when we do tie the knot . I’m not in it for money, but would that include everything that is accumulated through that business money? I love him and said that’s not a problem. I know get a lawyer. But is this normal? Or maybe someone has experienced “prenup” situations
39 Likes

I would definitely negotiate something for yourself in cases where he asks you to stay at home with kids etc. maybe he puts money in a retirement account for you. If y’all stay together it will benefit him too if not you are getting something for time and dedication… I do agree now a days men and women alike have to protect their assets as there is not loyalty anymore.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Anyone else have a "prenup" situation?

He’s protecting himself… I don’t see a problem

26 Likes

Prenups are common he literally just doesn’t want you taking his business when and if you guys spilt.

Which is understandable especially if he started it before you guys even were a thing!

43 Likes

He’s protecting himself. If you don’t last even if u don’t want it u would be entitled to half of everything

7 Likes

I think prenups are great, especially when a person has a business they’ve worked hard for, prior to getting married.
It’s nothing bad, just protection.

22 Likes

Prenuptial protects both parties. After x number of years of marriage, you would be entitled to half of the proceeds from the business from the time of the marriage but you couldn’t touch the business itself.

3 Likes

It makes sense to do this. That’s something I would expect to be honest.

2 Likes

He’s protecting himself incase you all split and he should do that. Prenups save people in the end if they split. Some women will take a man for every penny so it’s best one is put in place. It’s something everyone getting married should do to protect themselves.

6 Likes

Get your own lawyer. Depending on how it’s written, a prenup will protect both of you. That’s why you also get your own lawyer - to make sure there’s someone looking out for your best interests as well. (Side note - my divorce attorney told me to always have a prenup, especially if I have my own business and especially if I will be in a vulnerable position like being a stay at home mom) Don’t be offended. Use it to your advantage.

13 Likes

I had my husband sign one. I don’t want to ever have all my hard work taken from me. That being said I don’t buy anything with business money I get paid and anything bought during marriage is a communal asset

7 Likes

He’s protecting himself, get an attorney and protect yourself!

5 Likes

I’d ask a lawyer for sure. I’d want to know if the prenup is for current value of the business + inflation over the years or if it would be full value later on. As a spouse of 16 years, I know some success in business comes from stability at home with a supportive wife. I’ll sacrifice time and again to help better my spouses business. While I wouldn’t consider divorce in my own marriage, if heaven forbid it came to that I would feel part of the business value should be split between us. While I never would’ve thought about these things as important early in our relationship, time invested in all of the above would have me changing my mind.

19 Likes

Prenups are common and good for both of you. It’s basically a contract that tells you what you would be entitled to if you guys split. My best advice is let him have one drafted and then take it to a lawyer of your choice and have them spell it out for you. Not his lawyer. That way you can’t feel their was any bias in what was explained later.

7 Likes

Get a lawyer, make sure they’re are stipulations in place like what happens if he cheats or you cheat, if you have kids, if he dies. Just have your lawyers work it out.

6 Likes

I’m 100% for prenuptial agreements. Remember, not all agreements are one-sided. Do it together and add in stipulations that protect you as well. Protecting yourself is smart. No one wants to believe a marriage will fall apart but we know they do, so protect that possibility.

6 Likes

Yes protecting what’s his is normal and it would most likely include any money made after the decision to divorce was made. Though if he’s smart and keeps a second business account he should add it to the prenup as well. His lawyer will advise him to do so!

Depends upon your states laws on what is considered separate property in a prenup. It could include only what was his prior to the marriage or it could include anything that is accumulated during the marriage for that business. Definitely get a lawyer and look everything over. Prenups are not a bad thing to do. You just don’t wanna give up all your rights if things don’t work out 20 years from now and you put your heart and soul into that during the marriage

First and foremost you need to get your own lawyer, and protect yourself as well. Prenups can be ugly because you’re pretty much planning out your divorce before you even get married. It can create tension in a marriage too. However, you both can agree to just put his business in the prenup, and leave everything else out of it such as a house, vehicles etc. You both need your own lawyers though! Goodluck!

Prenups are important. It’s not a bad thing. You can makes your own stipulations. I’ve watched couples be in court for years fighting over things. This is an agreement when both people are rational and still love each other. If things go south and there’s no prenup it will not be so rational and add more pain to the situation.

1 Like

I’d do same if I owned a business and had it before any relationship.

7 Likes

My husband and I actually have financial separation. I’m not sure what he was trying to protect as he literally has nothing but I went along with it. The only thing I didn’t do was get my own attorney to protect myself which I regret big time

2 Likes

I had a friend who recently got married with a pernup and he even had a clause in itcabout how much weight she could gain. But it also protect her. If he cheats she get much mire than if they find they just grew apart

7 Likes

Nothing wrong with a prenup. It’s protecting assets that belong to the respective individual, yourself included. Read it, make notes of things you don’t understand, have a lawyer look at it and ask those questions, also be sure to ask what stipulations are in it to protect you!

6 Likes

I think it’s normal, like so anything he has pre-wedding or even now is his, anything after to be split c

1 Like

O to the same lawyer you guys arent divorcing you are preparing for your future together.if you guys cant agree well enouph to sit down and plan there will be many more problems than who gets what when you split.talk out your concerns make your requests as well and have the attorney draw it up.

1 Like

A prenup can also protect you in the case of a split. You can say okay so you would not want to lose the business well I don’t want to lose my lifestyle so I’ll be wanting this much per month in the case of a divorce. Cover your ass to girlfriend.

If you’re not in it for the money then you should have no problem signing it. He is protecting himself and I don’t blame him. He had that business before you came along, it would be different if y’all built it together. :bangbang:

7 Likes

I had a prenup! It was REALLY handy during my divorce. We both walked into the marriage with assets and we walked away with the assets we had pre-marriage. I would do one again in a heartbeat! Make sure you both sit down and plan it out together so you’re on the same page and have an attorney put it together for you.

2 Likes

Prenups are not a red flag. It makes sense and he is smart to do it. Definitely look into it.

6 Likes

Prenups can be great for you just as much for him. I would get a good lawyer and be safe.

1 Like

Completely normal… I know if I ever get married or even have someone move into my home I am 100000% getting a prenup so I keep my home I have owned for 15yrs now and the other person has no right to it if we separate.

5 Likes

I don’t blame him. Things happen… you can say, “I would never,” but never say never.

5 Likes

Se what he wants you to sign first and put some good clauses in for you too🤷‍♀️ he wants to be protected so should you

4 Likes

I would be putting in it that you get a share of any Kirby that you work for if you work for them business and don’t get a wage . I understand the prenup but . I lost a lot of money house and land when my ex husband left sadly and now I’ll and can’t work .

I’m for it!!! I want a prenuptial agreement in my marriage.

I don’t own my own business but my uncle does and has since he was an adult. So well over 40 years now. He divorced my aunt, paid out the ass, almost lost everything. His new gf is snobby and money hungry since he DOES own his own company she feels he should pay everything. Thats there situation and not yours but on that note, nope. I don’t blame anyone for protecting over what they’ve worked really hard for.
If the rolls were reversed I’d still get it.

Me and my husband got a prenup and we agreed both to getting one, for the simple reason financially whats his is his and whats mine is mine, and we use that to build something together, and its also good for when something happens to either one one at least the other can still manage without the frozen accounts and bills piling up and no way to pay after the fact

He doesn’t trust you fully possibly but also at the same time I get it. Especially if there’s business partners

2 Likes

Yea fuck it. Do it. Trust me, in the long run it’s for the best. Then YOU start your business and he has no hand in it

Make you protect your stuff as well. I’d do it just for his business I egt that but nothing else. Thus you accumulate through the marriage should be divided if it doesn’t work out.

1 Like

My bf and I have been together we will be doing a prenup his family has a lot of money and land but manly it’s a prenup for our children to get this or that so that if gosh for bid we separated they will get what’s in it and I can’t take it not like I would but he would feel better I guess

He’s protecting himself cause no offense a lot of women/men say they’re not about the money but once divorce happens that’s all they care about is wanting to drain the person of their money. So if you’re not about the money then do the prenup

14 Likes

It’s normal. He is just protecting what he started in case things happen down the road you don’t take what he has worked for. Nobody can predict the future.

4 Likes

Get a pre up I know if I get married I will be getting mine. I’ve only owned my house for 6 years and no way in hell would I let anyone take it from me and my kids

1 Like

Why marry someone who doesn’t trust you. Or maybe he doesn’t trust himself

6 Likes

Yes that includes things acquired using the money from the business, and yes this is normal. If you want to keep something after the divorce, make sure you use your own money to buy it, and have the prenup include what’s yours is yours as well.

If he has business I could definitely see where he’s coming from. If something were to happen down the road you could take 50% ownership of the business. It’s not a business the 2 of you started together so I can definitely understand why he’d want to ensure it’s protected.
The prenup would include anything that’s in the companies name. So if you have a vehicle that’s in the companies name it’s protected under the prenup. If it’s something that was bought using his or your wages and is not in the company name then that would be a marital asset.
A prenup can be worded anyway you want it so make sure you have a lawyer look over it to ensure it’s only for the business and doesnt include marital assets.

I mean I get wanting to protect your business but really if your first thought is I need to have a prenup does that mean you don’t expect the marriage to last? If so, just live in sin

6 Likes

The person you marry is not the person you divorce, plain and simple.

My partner and I have a prenup. Any family money and money from independently owned businesses (we each have one) belongs to the individual, anything joint owned (another business) gets split or one buys the other out.

9 Likes

The business should be valued as part of the prenuptial. If there is a divorce the business would be reevaluated. Any increase in business worth would be split.

He is just protecting everything he has worked so hard to build. Wouldn’t you? I do have to say that I would put a infidelity clause in there though. If he cheats you get half.

18 Likes

Depends how the prenup is written.
Usually anything purchased or gained while married is considered communal property. So furniture, cars etc bought while together would be considered yours to.
Just not his business or house or such he owned BEFORE you all got married. Youd have no claim on what he had he before, but would on things gained during.
Prenups are smart.
Cuz angry people do means vindictive things…like take a person for all they got…even when they swore they never would…and divorces usually involve angry people 🤷.
If my man asked me for one, I’d sign it. Cuz I ain’t worried about taking what’s his…and I understand that angry people do stupid shit and he’d just be protecting what he’s worked hard for🤷.
Same as I’d ask for one,if I had anything to protect…lol

He’s protecting himself and his business. It’s unforunate but the world we live in marriages end daily. If you are in for love and life then no problem signing it.

2 Likes

Signing a prenup doesn’t mean you get nothing it simply means you can’t take him for everything. Definitely sit down with a lawyer and add what you want (like an infidelity clause) just because it was brought up doesn’t mean you walk away with nothing. But it’s good to protect everyone

10 Likes

I would. Maybe he spent his whole life savings or it’s a family business handed down. The the divorce rates are so high and lots of men lose everything because of it. Not saying you would but tons of women are bitter and want to make them pay when they break up. If I had a business, I would need to protect it and my assets just incase. No offense to you.

2 Likes

It also includes keeping debts separated

1 Like

He’s protecting his business, as he should. Get a lawyer of your own and have the prenup reviewed.

1 Like

Just sign it. He has every right to request that. And if you love him and aren’t about the money you wouldn’t be asking this question at all. In my opinion. :woman_shrugging:t5:

4 Likes

Normal - yes. But ask him what he thinks of owning 1/2 if it is a death scenario…

If I owned a business I’d have done a prenuptial agreement. It makes sense so you can’t take his business if for any reason the two of you split.

4 Likes

Sign it and be fair it’s his business , if you are even slightly hesitant you need to reevaluate your morals

2 Likes

I mentioned doing this to my Dad he was getting married again and he said your supposed to trust someone enough
He did not believe in doing that but unfortunately you cannot trust people

1 Like

With how men get screwed in divorce court I don’t blame any man for wanting a prenuptial. And yes, it does include that

3 Likes

Definitely get a lawyer to look it over. They can explain the parameters and conditions and answer questions. You can also add things or negotiate with your lawyers and husband. If you all agree it could easily be stated that in the event of divorce, you have no rights to his business, but he will pay minimum so much in alimony until you have a job (incase you both decide while you’re married for you to be a stay at home mom or anything like that) and how much time you will have to get a job before that runs out. It can also state that you have no rights to his business as it stands now, but anything in your business that you build together could be up for debate. You can put in infidelity clauses etc.

There’s nothing wrong with a prenuptial agreement. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t trust you or love you, just means he understand the reality and that if you two get a divorce it could be ugly. Its actually pretty responsible of him because if you get a divorce and a pre nup is already in place it makes the divorce that much easier, and the easier it is the less you need to fight to move on. A pre nup, if done correctly can benefit you both in the event of a divorce. Basically the same as a will, you make a will and you know where your things are going and your wishes are met. You dont and everyone else makes decisions. You set up a pre nup and get divorced you know what is expected, where things go and how it will play out. You dont (Especially if money is involved for either party) and a judge or lawyers decide who gets what and when with you having little say.

There are benefits to prenups. I don’t blame your guy for wanting one. He has a business he has built up without a prenup you can take half of everything he had before marriage. It is a way to protect assets in both sides the more detailed it is the better.

3 Likes

A prenup can include anything that people want to put in there. Like if he wants to protect anything that he worked for before he met you. Business, house, vehicles, or whatever else that he wants to keep in the event of a divorce. What I would not let be included is anything that was gotten after the marriage.

3 Likes

I would sign it but say if he cheats on you then you get half

13 Likes

A prenup can be set up however someone likes. You literally can make it whatever you want. The key is if both sign. I don’t think he is being the least bit unreasonable. You can’t look at it as a personal request but a business one. Like you said, just make sure you have a lawyer.

4 Likes

If someone has a business, totally normal. Anything could happen between you two, and many people lose things to divorce. Why would he risk his business?

But yes, anything to do with the business would be untouchable to you if you divorce.

6 Likes

Absolutely normal. It Absolutely does everything that is accumulated with the business money to my understanding.

2 Likes

He is simply protecting HIS business, which is fair. His business will always be his business regardless of marital status.
I can see why it might make you feel a bit odd, but it has nothing to do with you. He just wants to make sure everything he has can’t be taken.
Advise him you will sign it BUT only if it’s for his business, that will stay untouched. If your willing to do that.

5 Likes

I would agree to everything prior to the marriage but I wouldn’t agree to any assets gained during the marriage. And I would have a cheater clause put in as well.

17 Likes

He’s totally normal , he’s protecting what he has built

7 Likes

Yes its normal and smart. He stands to lose everything if yall divorce. He had that before you. Doesn’t not include you in anyway

3 Likes

Wow if its second marriage I don’t blame him…if it’s first then no way in he’ll I would…that’s just me…if u love each other u wouldn’t ask that of each other I would have gave hi. Damn ring back…again that’s just me

I don’t understand why women get so upset with this.
This guy worked hard it’s his. If your not in it for the money, why would you ask this situation and why not just sign

12 Likes

If you had a successful business… would you want someone else to be able to take it from you if things went south in your relationship?

I’ve never really agreed with pre-nups and am divorced / remarried… but you can’t always trust people especially when shit happens in relationships and people are sour.

You hope they do “the right thing” but that isn’t always the case.

It SHOULD just include the business itself. Not the income, which you will ( or should,) share. I didn’t have one, but let him keep his business. It did, after all, pay his child support.

1 Like

Nope will never get one if we are married that’s yet we are in this marriage any way it goes , if you don’t have faith that our marriage will last then you not the one for me

5 Likes

Have to say I agree with him. His business prior to the relationship should not be negotiable. Assets acquired during the marriage is another subject. He is only protecting his livelihood. These days you never know. I Don’t blame him one bit.

21 Likes

You get to keep whatever you acquire during the marriage. So if he makes 200,000 dollars salary from his business that also belongs to you as well. Just the salary part. The business belongs to him. Trust me it’s better that way. You don’t want to be held accountable if there were any shady dealings.

1 Like

Normal. Been there. Done that. I was the one that asked for one due to my familys money. I was straight up honest & told him my children were my beneficiaries & it needed to stay that way. He understood & totally agreed. And you can honestly set them up however you’d like. Essentially his biggest concern is that of the company. I’d detail it as any and all business ownership, debt & assets are to remain solely with him in the event of a divorce. Essentially that business is his income so his income would/could go into a joint account for you guys to purchase while married. Detailing it as all personal & residential purchases made, outside of the business, regardless of Income used, shall be divided or sold upon divorce.

7 Likes

Its very complex, the pre-nup is good for both to protect your prior assets but if worded deceptively then the assets post wedding can be rolled into the buisness and thus shielded from the spouse in case of disolution, use and attorney

6 Likes

What’s his is his and what’s mine is mine. Anything we Aquire together gets split down the middle.

3 Likes

It’s simply to make sure you wont tryto take half of his business IF the marriage doesnt work. The prenup should also protect you too.

2 Likes

Usually everything he has up until you marry. Wish i done that

4 Likes

He’s protecting he’s business if anything happens. I would say that the business and any money he makes before the wedding is he’s. Anything after the wedding gets divided and goes into a joint account. Same would go for you. Any money you made before the wedding is yours but, after the wedding you split the money into a joint account.

4 Likes

Please tell him your concerns.

1 Like

I would t of gotten married if he didn’t sign a prenup. Sometimes a prenup isn’t only about protecting yourself. Sometimes it’s about protecting family

2 Likes

There’s a lot of smart women on here.

4 Likes

Prenups aren’t a bad thing. They just have a bad rep. I highly advise you both sitting down with a lawyer who specifies in prenups.

5 Likes

Prenups can also state how you want your children cared for if one passes, there’s a lot of good to it.

4 Likes

A lot of people only hear about prenups when it’s super wealthy people and yadda yadda but honestly the best advice you’ll get is from a lawyer who actually does this. Yes they can be scary but not if both parties aren’t doing it to be deceitful and instead truly doing it to protect themselves or what they’ve created. Don’t be upset about him wanting to make sure his business stays his, if he had that before he met you or was working on it in anyway before he met you then it’s very likely he LOVES that business and he LOVES you and doesn’t want to lose either one of you should anything ever happen :two_hearts:

3 Likes

I wish I could pull someone who would ask me for a prenup…:roll_eyes::roll_eyes:

4 Likes

Lol I was with my x for 10 years had a son previously but he was there full time from 3 mths and then had my daughter not long after n he still wanted a prenup I paid for half what he did n never married talked bout it planed a date n all but didn’t happen and I left with my 2 kids and my best friend my dog of 5 of them years and fuck all the shit he can have it my kids will be back in 16 years to get a car for there l’s that’s still in my name hopefully he don’t be an ass and help them haha

If u get divorced , you shouldn’t expect anything from his business :heavy_heart_exclamation: his assest before the marriage…

1 Like

If you love the man and have no intentions of divorce, then sign it. It’s not selfish of him to want to protect what he has build. With that being said, cover yourself. If you have an active role in the business, make sure there is a clause that states anything prior to marriage is his, anything accumulated during marriage is shared. I would also include a clause in there that if there is any infidelity on his part, that the prenup is null and void. Let him protect himself, but also protect yourself.

4 Likes

I would rather have my SO sign a paper to protect our assets than to have it split between everything. I think you would be losing out if you didn’t sign necessary paperwork.

If you don’t get a prenup there are other ways of going about it to keep his assets his, including the house depending on how it’s bought including the loan and you won’t know until you see a will ( side note if he already has a will he will need to update otherwise even on death bed you cannot tell the drs to medically treat) or any documents that say trust and how the trust is set up. I would have rather known and signed a prenup then to find out on the back end that nothing is really mine nor could it ever be even after he passes (I’m not saying I want him to! And no he never asked for a prenup I would have said yes. He better out live me so I don’t have to come get him from the dead and bring him back to life so I don’t have to deal with the hell of a mess he made for me afterwards.) If you don’t like prenups then ask yourself why, what is the real reason behind not liking them is?