She is your daughter you decide she sounds a horrid piece of work
Are u her biological mother? And even if your not, I believe that I understood you choose to raise this beautiful child together. My problem is your allowing to make all the decisions. I may be seeing I’m so sorry. Night if I’m not! Put a stop to it. I’m so sorry but I’m a firm believer in no physical abuse. I know it’s just spanking. However I believe that that causes more damage than the route you want to take. Take the route you want to take please put your foot down and just say this is enough. I’m sorry if I said too much I do apologize but I just don’t believe in spankings and I believe in what you are saying as to how to punish your little girl. Good luck hun.
LEAVE!!! If you wouldn’t “spank” your child then why tf does anyone else have that right?! Don’t put yourself through it…most importantly don’t put your baby through it!
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You are in an abusive relationship 1 she hits your daughter not acceptable ever 2 she’s trying to control you and losing it it with you making you feel bad and 3 she manipulates everything if it’s not what she wants. You need to leave as it will get so much worse trust me. The child comes before any feelings you have for this woman and most importantly the child’s safety is a must at all costs. You have to break this horrible cycle before your daughter gets hurt and damaged as it’s mentally cruel controlling behaviour. As a mother nothing and nobody should or would do anything to hurt my child so you have to do what’s right and you know it or you wouldn’t be asking on here. Please tell me you are going to do what’s needed to protect your child and not your relationship as it will be the worst thing you could ever do to stay and then regret it when something goes horribly wrong. She needs help but your daughter needs her mother to keep her safe at all costs. Do what’s right before it’s too late and you and your daughters lives become unbearable. Best of luck and please let us know what you decide as this is a very disturbing post I’m sure many will want to know you are both ok Xx
Leave her. She doesn’t love your daughter. Your daughter HAS to come first. Next, she will be leaving bruises and marks on her. What are you thinking???
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That mindset will NOT change! Save yourself and your child! And do not go back:bangbang:
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as fast as you can
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Contact your local domestic violence shelter & they can help you develop a safety plan to help you get away from her. She is mentally abusing you & it may not be long till it turns violent against you or your daughter. Good luck
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Your child is number 1
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You know what you have to do deep down. Is this how you want to live? Once you answer that question, you’ll know what to do
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Sounds like she doesn’t really care too much about ur daughter, more like she puts up with her type of vibes. I wouldn’t trust my daughter alone with her esp of she acts like this on front of you. Glad u always choose ur child first. These are red flags. That my way or highway mindset has narcissist written all over it. She can sleep with out u, shes a grownup, but ur daughter cant. Leave before it gets worse. Trust me!
Get out now it’s only going to get worse And think of the child Think Think please.
My dear…you are in a controlling, abusive relationship. It is clear as day. If that is what you want and the example you want to show your daughter…then stay. Otherwise…you know what you have to do.
Leave a 2 year in a car. No way. She is your daughter. This relationship does not sound healthy. I am not the only one who thinks this.
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She’s too controlling and manipulative. Do yourself a favor and leave that relationship. It will only get worse with time. Your daughter is young enough and you both deserve better. Best of luck
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Get your daughter out of that situation.
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Walk away its never going to change
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Sorry but get out now.
she is Narcissistic LEAVE
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Tome to cash that one in
You’re not crazy. She’s insensitive and doesn’t understand how to emotionally care and be there for children. Don’t let her make you feel bad. You’re right. You may have to walk away.
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If she doesn’t know you’d pick your daughter over her without you telling her take your daughter and run…fast… and never look back. She should not have to be told that. Shell never change and the only one to suffer will be your daughter.
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You don’t dare tell her to her face that you will always pick your child over her??? Umm… that statement alone says you need to leave this person! Anyone worth their salt should EXPECT you to pick your children over them! This is toxic and abusive…
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Always choose what’s best for your child.
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She’ll never change. That’s classic abuse,it only gets worse not better. My advice is to leave.
She may be your girlfriend. But if this was some guy. You would dump his ass!
She has proven time and time again, who she is. Make her leave; or take Your daughter, and leave. Your daughter isn’t safe around her. And her narcissistic behavior isn’t going to change!
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I would leave. As being survivor of an abusive relationship with my 6 children. Leave. Take ur daughter and go. This woman has no regard for ur daughter. Wanting to leave her in a car to shop. Yep. RED FLAGS. My opinion
Your partner is jealous and not realistic. Your child deserves better. So do you.
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Your kid comes first no matter what!!! And you need to stand up for your kid and say that to her so she understands…good job on not leaving that poor little girl in the car…that’s gotta be scary for a little one
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I cant believe you would let someone treat your daughter like this. Run as fast as you can if shes like this over a child shes super fu…ed up
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No need to Feel like this…You’re being bullied…Child 1st…The End* selfish…RED FLAGS MY ASS…get gone now…
Run! Fast! Your daughter is not her top priority but she is yours. And you were 100% correct on never leaving your child anywhere unsafe(such as a car alone) or in a room not feeling well by herself. You’re her mother our children need to be safe. We are their protectors. You obviously know these things are not right, You have a good head on your shoulders knowing what’s right for your daughter. So do the right thing and leave the situation before yelling and bad moods turn into something a harsher.
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WALK AWAY thats so Toxic for her and yourself… get out now before something bad happens and you lose your child…
These are some serious things and accusations however I do understand "differnt mindsets and rules " aspect as I also deal with some similar things in my relationship with my sons step dad. Recently I have been talking to a counselor bi weekly (for other reasons) and she recommended going to family counseling. Because sometimes it isnt nesscisarly because they are purposely being narcissistic but because they have a difficult time understanding your point of view and your mindset because and lived in their type of mindset for so long it becomes difficult to engage the thought of the other persons views. And just having a 3rd party in the room can help the partners un tangle those thoughts and communicate better and understand eachother more. However like saying before, these are pretty serious things you mentioned tho, and I would personally consider those red flags if nothing changes about it real fast.
The woman is asking you to do something you know is wrong, that’s unsafe for your baby and if done could probably get you arrested for child neglect and endangerment so she can go shopping, major red flag, she doesn’t have your baby’s best interest at heart, especially when it’s not convenient for her, leave her.
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Walk. Away. She is not good for your daughter.
Leave, the situation will never get better…she’s immature and needing she can’t understand orninshould say won’t. 5, 10, 15 years from now will not be easier…
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Your child is always first !!! Ur child has one mom only so disaplen should only come from you and her father. Don’t ever give anyone permission to parent your child if ur not married to them
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There is much wrong with this. You need to either kick her out or you need to pack up you and your daughter and leave like 2 years ago. She’s an abusive, manipulative, narcissistic, 2 faced witch. You said it yourself. It’s always her way or the highway. Tell her to take the highway. It’s only going to get worse and your daughter will be the brunt of it all. If she is threatening to hit your daughter, then you need to go because if she’s willing to spank, she may not stop there. Just saying.
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Yep that’s not good enough…
I’ve been a single mum of 2 great kids for years.
I had a long distance relationship for a while, at first it was ok as we didn’t see him much. He had no kids of his own, when he finally was coming back to the area he basically was just an asshole to my son. Also jealousy issues, I fucked him off ASAP
Originally as I’m older I thought he might ok as he had no ex wife , kids etc (not that I would mind if he did) I just thought perhaps no baggage from his end, as I certainly wouldn’t have a problem with someone else…
what I’m trying to say in a long way I guess, if you aren’t a parent , you often don’t have that full paternal feelings…
I feel this sounds similiar, they can love and care. But seriously your daughter is only 2, it seems quite heartless to expect you would put a grown ass adult before your own child.
Red flags for sure, you really need to think is this a healthy relationship or not ? Perhaps try and talk it out? But she should know your child will always come first.
You shouldn’t have to feel torn in your emotions and time sharing etc.
Her being older you would think she would know this… also what where the dynamics of her previous relationships like? Some people just have massive insecurity and jealousy issues… as parent tho I just can’t comprehend how someone could be jealous of your child, especially as she is so young. Good luck x
Ps. After this I really questioned dating , and haven’t done it since and that ended over 3 or so years ago.
I personally will not bring in anyone into my kids lives unless I knew them
Really well as I don’t think my kids need that bullshit, I felt so bad for my son as he is a gd kid (so is my daughter), but he just wanted the same everything his way… just couldn’t understand that kids come first. Being an adult does not give you the right to put yourself first.
Please know as you are young (I’m 46) you have a lot more opportunities to find someone that will treat you both right. You both deserve the world 
I could write a whole story here, but honestly this is just a bye Felicia situation 
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M8 you have to make a decision and the right one is the safest for you and your daughter, think carefully.
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WTH leave you and especially your daughter do not need someone like this in your lives SMH
Read your letter again your answer is hitting you in the face
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Do you know what mental and emotional abuse is ?
It’s as real as physical abuse …
You’re being controlled by a manipulative, violent, abusive woman
You need to take your child and go somewhere safe
Love is not enough in relationships, bit this wan doesn’t love you or your child
The safety of a child must come first above l else, no matter how painful it may feel to you,
The real question you should be asking yourself is why you haven’t already left
No chat, no discussion because you will always be talked round… Jist pack, and leave
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My children are my priority and will forever come first. Your daughter is so young and needs her mammy to keep her safe - I think you already know the answer x
Get out, your daughter is your priority. Things will only get worse. She will get abusive to your child, then what?
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I have a two year old myself and my kids always always come first.
She’s showing major red flags, I think you know what you need to do lovely, as hard as it is, put your daughter first and leave because if you don’t it’ll get worse and your daughter will end up growing up feeling like she’s a bother!
Thinking of you x
Can’t believe people put up with this crap…Does she really need our permission to get rid of this uncaring horrid women?
I think these questions are made up…
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Run girl run! These are red flags and toxic behavior … Inmo it will only get worse leave while you can your not crazy
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You are so much more mature than her at 21! She sounds narcisstic to me! Walk away shel never accept her behaviour is wrong , sorry x
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Google gaslighting #redflag
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Time to end that relationship your daughter always should come first and she looks at her like competition don’t waste years in her time flies kids grow very fast get out now
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You need to prioritise yours and your child’s needs and get away from your partner xx
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Wow! Get you and your daughter out of that toxic relationship and never look back!
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So your 21 and she’s 31 right!??
Wow! You seem so much more mature than her!! Honestly, I wouldn’t put up with it if I was you. It’s not a competition between your daughter and her, she seems jealous. If I was you I would leave her but obviously it’s easier said than done xx
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Leave before it affects your daughters mental health and it will if you stay, you’ve got too put her first even before yourself and you’re not by staying with someone who is a bully, can you imagine how much worse she will get with your child? It sounds like she’s got hate building up for her, this will not be a good outcome if you stay trust me.
I didn’t even read it all… RUN!!!
Always choose your child. No one should be spanking your child . Bye. You need to run .
If that was me… I’d get rid of the gf
leave now, its the damage in the long term to your daughter,you sound so mature for your age leave before your daughter gets hurt x
Ask her if someone hit her would she A) put up with punishment or B. call the cops for assault. hitting a
child isn’t okay. hitting anyone isn’t okay.
If your daughter is only 2 and she’s acting the way she is I’d hate to think how she’s gonna be with her later on!! I’d really consider what u want in life n think about who is important because sorry to say but your girlfriend sounds like an narcissist 
x
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She sounds like a narcissist… RUN!!
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always go with what you intution is telling u hun, we had over our power when we dont listen to our gut, your partner has clearly gone through something in life that has damaged her out look on life, dont feel bad in making the best choice for you and your child, if you keep on in this relationship your going to lose your self babes, trying to make others happy at yours and your childs expence will never work out esp when they have no intrest in ur happiness, ive been here myself, was scared to leave incase i made things worse, but the truth is i made them better and once i took my power back he had no control, if ubhave a bad apple beside a a fresh apple over a period of time that bad apple will always turn the fresh apple bad no matter what we try do! when our intuiton dtarts screaming at us we always doubt our selfs we bring that thought up to our brains and then start dismissing our gut, we then trust in someone elses words and believe them over our selfs, were like a computer if we dont down load the information that were being shown we get stuck learning the same mistakes, we also hand over our power to who ever were putting our trust in, making our self weaker and them stronger giving them power to hold over us! trusting in our selfs is soo critical once we trust in our selfs we step in to our power and we grow stronger with it 
we also move on to the next lesson that were here to learn, trusting in our selfs will make our life lessons easier to handle, coz we will be living in our own truths 
i truly hope his makes sence to someone as i feel i have babbled abit but we hold the key to our own destany, trusting in ourselfs is the only way to progress in this life 
sending love and light to everyone whos reading this, i truly hope u have a blessed day
Well for a start you are not happy SHE is selfish and a control freak do you want to be unhappy forever if you can manage alone go for it .If you can not then just tell her how you feel in a calm manner your daughter will end up unhappy also if you are arguing constantly i think she tries to keep your girlfriend happy .
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I’m sorry you’re asking if you should stay with a woman who thinks it’s okay to leave a two year old child in a locked car at 7:00 at night!??
what shade of red are you looking for? These are flashing, take your child and run…
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Omg, leave!!! Without a doubt!!
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Red flags are up high on big arse flag poles
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This sounds like someone who seems to see the child more of an inconvenience than something to care for
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Trust your gut instinct its always right
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The fact that she is claiming you don’t love her and are picking your daughter over her is emotional manipulation which is abusive behaviour. Take your daughter and get as far away as possible because in my experience it will only get worse…
If she loves your daughter like her own, she would suggest anything of what she has done! Your daughter will grow up always believing she is also, always wrong and that will have an affect of everything she does in life and her confidence that she needs! She sounds cruel and careless to me. Wouldn’t keep someone like that in mine or my child’s life x
You are being hit over the head with the red flags. Don’t walk, run.
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she sounds like a narcissist feeding on an empath. Been there. Done that. Please please please don’t make the same mistake I did trying to stay in it and fight for it! It’s just going to drain you even more. Not to mention how it’s going to affect your precious baby!
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If you can’t discipline a child without hitting them you shouldn’t be having children 
If my partner ever put her hands on one of kids I’d be out the door.
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The second I felt like someone was making me choose between them and my child I would choose my child and never ever look back.
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It’s time to walk away
You cannot leave a 2 year old in the car!! I think it’s time to move on. Doesn’t seem like she is even willing to change. But alot of this is not okay…
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Do NOT let another person put their hands on your child… EVER! She seems jealous of your daughter and very childish. Those are all red flags and I wouldn’t feel safe with her around your baby
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You should not fight for this relationship! Right now is a crucial time for your daughter to see you in a happy healthy loving relationship, and even though there are some good times these are major red flags!!! She’s your daughter and if you do stay at least tell her to stay out of any kind of parenting choices because it doesn’t sound like she can make one good choice. The things you have brought up is common sense parenting. For her to say your choosing your daughter over her blows my mind. Making you feel bad about it… I just can’t. Please leave
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Get rid of the girlfriend
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The fact that she suggested you leave your daughter in the car while you shop, that right there should tell you your daughters safety is not her number one priority
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your partner needs treatment you don’t spank a little child
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Your child comes first momma
Get her out of yours and your daughters life. She sounds very immature and clearly has no maternal instinct in her. Sounds to me like she needs to grow up and wake up to the real world of parenting. You should not be with someone that treats your child like that
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Run!!! She’s a narcissists!!! I’ve had those same problems with an ex and would not ever put anyone before my babies…they try so hard to manipulate you into believing that your the bad guy when your not its actually a way of control and power for them!!! Take your sweet innocent baby and run
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She is abusive and gaslighting you. Get her away from your child before she puts her in danger…
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At some point she will be alone with your daughter and go shopping and leave her in a car alone because she doesn’t see a problem with that, and your child will pay that price
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You already know what you have to do, you see the red flags, reread what you’ve posted and and read it from the perspective of this is your friend coming to you for advise …what would you tell your friend to do…I’d tell my friend to run from that toxic person
Let her ass go!!! No way is it safe to leave a 2 year old in the car to shop!! She should have taken herself to the living room and let you and baby have the bed, she wasn’t feeling well and needed her mom
Cut your losses and walk away. Huge red flags. Massive. You know deep down what the right thing to do is, you just need to do it xx
Choose your daughter please. The repercussions of staying and not choosing your daughter over this relationship are far more damaging than an occasional spanking.
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Walk away…or tell her to…things will only get worse
I see too many red flags. Sorry that’s a narcissist
There are a ton of red flags here😒 Most importantly is her want for you to choose her over your child! Any parent who chooses their mate over their child is a worthless POS! Your so called woman sounds controlling and childish. Id be scared to leave my child alone with her since she’s so quick to push the spanking issue and openly suggested leaving the child in the car to shop. Id take my child and leave
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Violence against a child teaches them violence is ok and they grow up violent adults.
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Your GF is very wrong in wanting to leave a child locked in the car thats negligence, you are responding correctly by putting your daughter 1st, the GF needs to change her ways or ship out as your not being unreasonable
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