Are these red flags?

Leave her! Yr daughter comes first. She sounds selfish and it all about her. Get out before something bad happens to yr daughter. She’s more important than any partner. 2 yrs is not very long . U will find someone who cares for u and babygirl. To many red flags. Yr daughter deserves more “especially leave her in a locked car” no no that’s a big red flag.

If you are asking, then you know what you have to do. While I believe in spanking a child, there are times when that isn’t necessary. Take it from someone who has 26 years of marriage. It takes a lot of work. If you feel like you have tried all you can, maybe it’s time you leave. I tried to change my husband for over 20 yrs. Never worked. I quit wasting my time. Good luck in whatever you do.

You can’t serve two masters. Your daughter comes first and she needs to understand that. She thinks she’s competing against a child for your love. She shouldn’t be putting you in a position to choose between the two. Sometimes as step parents we don’t empathize with a child because we don’t have that blood bond. I had to do some self reflection and ask myself why I reacted the way I did. I wasn’t angry at the child, it was frustration. First time in my life I couldn’t control the situations. So instead of being quick to spank a child that didn’t understand what they were doing wrong. I’d ask myself why is this child acting this way. Are they hungry, thirsty, have a wet diaper, sick, can I redirect with a toy, is she cranky because she’s due for nap. I too made the mistake of it will be ok. I left my daughter home alone sleeping for 20 min while her mom came home. She was running late and I didn’t want to be late to work. It didn’t dawn on me that I made her think I didn’t care about our child. We can get new jobs, replace things. But that child is one in the lifetime. Something happens to them you can’t replace that child.

Does she understand that should someone call the police because a child is left alone in a vehicle you will be arrested, a child abuse case opened and could very well lose custody of your baby? She’s 2 that IS a baby and hitting/spanking is not an effective discipline. I can tell you my sassy little 20 month old grand daughter absolutely knows when she is doing something naughty and typically only needs a stern NO to understand she has upset me. I just couldn’t imagine spanking her at this age. You’re dealing with more than red flags girl. Someone is sounding the horn to run.

You need to leave. ANYONE who is jealous of a child is toxic and narcissistic. ANYONE who would want to leave a child in the car is dangerous
Just think what she might think is ok to do with your child when you aren’t around. She is not a good person so don’t put your daughter through this anymore. Stop worrying about this toxic person and choose you and your daughter. We have one shot at this life. don’t waste your time

Toxic. Get out asap. And don’t ever let anyone feel as if they would ever be an option over your child. You shouldn’t feel as if you “wouldn’t dare tell her your child comes first”. Your partner is selfish and doesn’t sound as if she loves your daughter as her own, as you say. Wants to leave her alone while she’s sick in the room? Wanting to leave her in a locked car while you shop? No no no. Those are beyond red flags. Please leave for the sake of your daughter.

Go to a women’s shelter for counseling. Small town women’s shelters seem more efficient than big city women’s shelters. I’m not suggesting you stay at the shelter, I’m suggesting you seek counseling there…

Shes way too angry to be Around your child ! To tell you to leave your baby in a car is dangerous! The law would take the baby away from you for letting her be around your child just because you let her watch your child if she ever left her in the car and got caught doing that !

Your child comes before anyone. If your girlfriend is this childish you have to take your child and leave. If it’s your place then make her leave. Your child will always be the brunt of her anger. Please keep your child away from her. She has no business spanking her. Man up and get the hell away from her. Good luck and God bless you and your daughter.

A REAL partner will support you in parenting your child. This is a person who is flawed, but refuses to HEAR you. Not good for you or your baby. Your gf is innately selfish and it doesn’t appear that she’s interested in changing that. Run. Take care of you and baby. The right one will come along. And if she doesn’t, don’t settle. That’s YOUR baby. Your responsibility. You future. Focus on her. Find happiness in being your own family. Don’t let toxic get near her. It’s your job to keep her from all that. Good luck.

Get rid of the girlfriend. She is not the parent. As the child gets older, the punishment will be harder. Dont make the mistake of choosing a spouse over a child. I did and it took a years to earn back my son.

Leave now!!! If she’s willing to leave your child in a car alone!!! - you should NEVER leave her alone with your child!!! Get out now before your baby suffers something she may not be able to live through!!

Have you lost your mind, babies are a gift from God ,protect them at all cost, never leave a child in a car ,sorry but she sounds like a narcissist to me , I beleive when you have children your life is on back burner, just my opinion

Girl run. Gaslighting. Oh my god. And you are never wrong for choosing your child over her. Good luck.

You asked if some of these were red flags?? Yes yes they are. Biggest if them all is leaving her locked in the car. She seems petty and immature. Yall need to have some real big conversations about all of this. I would feel comfortable trusting someone thst suggested leaving my kid in the damn car. She sounds rude and selfish. And I can yell it bothers you and is raising red flags and is stressing you out. I wouldn’t want to stick around that person long term no matter how much my kid loves her. The red flags and stress over it isn’t worth it to me. Sorry but I wouldn’t stay with thst person

Get out now before something bad happens. If she treats the little girl this way in front of you…whats she doing behind your back? These ARE RED FLAGS!!!

You are not in the wrong. She obviously has no idea about how to deal with children. I’ll tell you, if you had locked her in while shopping and the police found out, you’d likely face charges or at least have explaining to do! If she couldn’t sleep, SHE should have gone to the couch without you. Like a grown up. I don’t know how you make her understand that if she forces you to choose, the daughter will win EVERY time.

This is classic narcissistic communication ~ it will only get worse, IME. She won’t change, Decide if you want to be in the same boat in 5+ years… Does the good outweigh the bad? If so, Will it always?

Do not raise your child in this environment, please. It is terrible for you, it is so much worse for her

The gf sounds jealous and jealousy is a sickness that has no cure, your daughter is an easy target for the gf to take out her anger… Some day your daughter will be an adult and will remember the way she was treated if she doesn’t already….RUN!

These ate huge red flags and not just about your daughter. It speaks to your girlfriend’s character and the possibility for abuse towards you, physically and/or emotionally. My husband assaulted me May 10. I never saw any red flags. Looking back now there were so many. I think you already know what you need to do. The longer you wait, the more bitter it will be.

Yes your girl friend is a red flag. Leaving any child in a car is an arrestable offense. I would never leave your child alone with her. Leaving would mean your putting your child welfare first and yes thats what a good parent does. Good luck.

She tried to have u put ur daughter in danger. Never leave a child in the car for nothing. Big red flags. How do u know what she does when u r not around?

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Why are you there!? Eww…walk already! To live to "
fight again" is NOT living. And…thank God you refused to leave your daughter alone in the car…what if she had woken up and screamed…and some decent witness called the police…and YOU as her Mom got arrested for child neglect while you baby went home with the monster!!! WAKE UP!

Get your child and RUN as fast as you can and don’t look back.

You shouldn’t even be second guessing the situation

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Pack your bags… period… Her idea of leaving the 2 year old in the car unattended is in itself enough reason to go separate ways… Your girlfriend is irresponsible, unbending, and would never be able to lay a finger on my child.

Heres the difference… point blank … you have instincts for parenting and being the childs mother and protector and provider… #1 Congrats to you for following them
#2 Keep trusting your instincts as they are usually right… dont let Anyone convince you to do otherwise.
#3 Your instincts are exactly why you put up this post… so what does that say!!!

Single mom of 4 kids

If you were in England and the Social services found out how she was treating your child you would be given the choice of either leaving your partner or having your child taken off you for her safety. The way she is treating your child and you is not acceptable. Get yourself and your child away from her as soon as you can.

RUN! Anyone who puts you in a position against your daughter needs to go! Do you want your daughter seeing this type of relationship and thinking it’s normal? You and your daughter deserve better. Start planning where you will go, be sure to have finances the best you can in order. Get on WIC and set up support systems. Just tell your gf you need some time away to sort out what’s best for you and your daughter. Stay safe and best of luck. You got this!

Leaving a child alone, locked in a car is #1 AGAINST THE LAW #2 VERY DANGEROUS #3 INSANE. Anyone that would suggest or do that does NOT care about your child! I would have left IMMEDIATELY. It’s one thing to disagree on parenting techniques it’s another to endanger the child. I don’t know you or your partner but it sounds like she is not really interested in being a parent and you are doing your child a great disservice exposing her to this type of person. You sound like a very loving mom with your child’s best interest at heart. You need to remove yourself and your daughter from this situation ASAP! You said you will always choose your child over your partner…now is the time to make that choice. Anyone who treated my child that way would be history. Leave a 2 year old alone locked in a car…still spinning from that.

She is clueless, potentially dangerous and crazy. Run!

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there are times a kid needs a spanking. That is when they do the same thing over that was bad. That way it get across to them. I had two kids and they hardly got spanked, because they knew they would get spanked if they done wrong. I have grown children now and they are great.

I think her attitude toward your daughter is disturbing. She acts, from what you said, like your daughter is an inconvenience at times and wants to ignore her. And what’s worse is she demands you follow her lead in that. The control issue here is major, will you be comfortable leaving her in charge of your daughter if for instance you have to leave for a couple days? I wouldnt

Get out now. I would be so worried how she treats your daughter when you are not home. And to leave a child in a car…is she crazy. Never ever! Your child should always come first. Children are a gift from God. Treasure, love and protect them.

You are right. Girlfriend is wrong. on all counts. and if she is willing to do those mean and abusive things to your child when you are present, i can’t imagine what she would do when she is left alone with her. She is gaslighting you by being mean and narcissistic and then telling you that you are the problem or are too sensitive. You need to leave… NOW. It will only get worse for you and your daughter as time goes on. Your daughter may be a little upset when you first split just because she is used to your girlfriend being there, but do not let that sway you to go back. Do not let your own mind remind you of the good times enough that you fail to see that you are in an ABUSIVE relationship. run and don’t look back. trust yourself mama gut. If anything happens to your baby, it will be just as much your fault because you didn’t take her away from that situation even though you saw the red flags.

You are never the bad guy for putting yours and your daughters best interest at heart. This won’t get any better.This is a field of red flags. Walk away before it gets worse or worse your daughter is the victim of your girlfriend ideas of what is and isn’t appropriate

1st it’s against the law to leave a child in the car alone and can get you prison time. 2nd find a PROFFESIONAL counselor immediately. She needs help and you too.

Wow you put up with that! Then it’s your own fault.
My kids come first!
Anyone has a problem with that then you are out of here!
Get your big girl panties on!

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Sounds like the girlfriend has some major insecurities. She may not be getting what she needs from you in the relationship. I’d talk to her about that to see if changes can be made so you’re both happy. If she’s always been this way, then she most likely won’t change, and you need to move on. As far as your daughter goes, you’re her parent. I have a problem with people who Reprimand their significant others’ kids when they really don’t get a say. Especially if you haven’t been together long. You get to decide how you want to raise your child. That’s another conversation you two would need to have to establish boundaries. 2 years isn’t very long for a relationship…

She does not have the emotional attachment with your daughter that you have. She is interested in herself and in the end does not have love or compassion for your daughter. I would run, not walk to the nearest door to protect my baby… There are zero maternal feelings… Self centered…If my daughter needed to be spanked…it would be my hand that spanked her…not some unfeeling somebody that could not control themselves…I raised a daughter and spanked her…not often and for reasons to prevent the behaviour again. She is a wonderful compassionate woman…We are best friends. Get out …

Take your daughter and leave, as soon as you can. If you dont your daughter could get hurt. Your GF doesn’t seem to have the patience for children.

RUN as fast as you can. You shouldn’t be afraid of her & if you love your daughter get her out of that situation. I’ve been there & it doesn’t get better & they can’t change.

Being the one in the relationship that is like your girlfriend, from the bottom of my heart I say go. I am in a 21 yr relationship and did not realize that my mental/emotional issues were affecting my partner and son so badly. I love them. They love me. But I wish I could go back and be the kinder more gentle person that is inside of me. Find someone who is kinder and gentler.

You are Not crazy. And bless you for sticking up for your daughter.
Whether you stay or not is up to you but remember, your girlfriend is Unlikely to change! That she wanted to lock your two year old alone in a car at night told me all I needed to know about the situation.
I believe you would be better off with you and your daughter away from the girlfriend, she doesn’t have your daughters best interest at heart. Only hers.
Please get counseling and let them help you get you and your daughter away.

Please leave now (or asap) - anyone who manifests clear jealousy of a 2 year old child has problems - you need to leave before the physical (‘spanking’) and mental abuse escalate

It depends. If she’s doing out of punishment because you’re not doing anything then it’s a “happy” medium. If she’s doing it out of anger then put a stop to it. If your daughter still goes to her after punishments then she’s fine. But if she’s deathly afraid of her then might wanna step in. Side note: you should always choose your kids over a GF/BF. Just my opinion

She sounds very controlling and is probably not going to change , you need to do whats right for you daughter , she should always come first, praying for you

So many red flags. If she can’t put your daughter first then it’s time to go. She seems very selfish. Don’t spend any more time hoping she will change because she won’t.

Re-read everything you just wrote but as if it’s from someone else asking your advice or opinion and I believe you’ll have your answer. She sounds toxic and controlling.

Your child should be over everyone and everything. I don’t know why you are second guessing it. Get out of that relationship and save your child from abuse NOW

Try couples counseling if you’re not yet sure about leaving. If you’re considering leaving, don’t say it if you know you can’t/won’t back it up with action - you won’t ever be taken seriously if you say it and not follow through.

She sounds very toxic and is verbal mental
abusive. I honestly would leave after her thinking it’s ok to two leave a two year old in the car alone. I would get out now before it’s to late.

If you have to wonder if a garment is clean or dirty…it is dirty…the very fact that you are asking says you know the situation is not good and is not going to get better. Run like the wind for your sake and for your sweet child. You already know this so just go not discuss it with your girlfriend. Just go and do not look back. Go

Leave now you can never trust her with your babygirl because you know she would have left her in the car had she had her alone. You and your baby deserve better. Stop wasting you time and move on. You and little momma got this and will be a lot happier with out her

You better stand your ground and don’t be afraid to speak your mind. If she starts to yell tell her tone it down and if she gets mad oh well and if she doesn’t change it is time to move on that is too much stress

She didn’t want to sleep on the couch without you…what is she 5!? She’s sending you a lot of red flags, why would you want to stay and endure that? If you can’t leave for yourself, do it for your daughter.

It would help if your child had a (FATHER) The way the Good Lord meant it to be.Im 90yrs old, just my opinion.

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Is this a type of relationship your daughter wants to see growing up? Because if that’s what she lives that’s what she learns your happiness is worth more than that you are worth more than that

Never second guess yourself when it comes to your daughter and her well being. She is yours what you say goes, end of discussion. You have to do whats best for you and your daughter. Honestly she seems like the type that wants it to be you and her and your daughter “gets in the way” of that. Unacceptable, she knew what she was coming into. She knew you had a child. If the fact that you having a child doesnt suit her needs then leave. You can find someone else that will be willing to get up at night with your sick child so you can rest. No matter what!!

One thing it’s illegal to leave a child in s Car :red_car: Two she is only a Baby her attitude is very harsh I can only get worse which could leave a lasting effect on her I would point out Calmly that if her attitude won’t change you will have to leave can you organise Councillors at a Family Centre I wish you all the very best she is Controlling

Is this a healthy relationship? For you or your child ?
Has counseling been discussed ?
Have you considered separating for a period of time ?
You deserve to feel safe, loved and supported in all aspects of your life.
Personally, I’d just leave. Which has its own issues; can you afford to ? Are there legal issues surrounding this precious 4 year old?
A lot to think about.
I wish you all the best.

If you have to ask, you already know. You just want someone to tell you it’s ok and stay with her. Sorry, I’m not trying to be harsh but this happens over and over. SIDE WITH YOUR DAUGHTER AND LEAVE.

I know it may be hard for you to do it you need to leave now!! If not for you do it for your child. This girl is not worth the frustration and damage it is doing to your child. Leave!!! You can do it!!

Sooo many red flags!!! Leave and don’t look back, ever!! You and your daughter deserve so much better!!! Sending prayers :pray:

It’s hard when you love someone! However what she is doing does not sound like love it’s control! You and your daughter deserve to be loved and treated well. For her to think it’s ok to leave a 2 year old in a car is NOT ok! Then to make you feel guilty about not sleeping on the couch because your daughter is sick… again NOT ok! I left an abusive relationship and it’s so hard to do! But please before it gets worse seek help and get out! I’m so proud of you for asking for help already by posting! Your daughter will one day be so greatful

It’s your child at the end of the days she needs to Allie you to decide what method of disciplinary action
Is used when your child acts out she seems like she will always be in competition with your child. You need to leave as soon as possible

I was the one to spank my child but I do wish my husband was more hands on I don’t know what to tell u but when I left my husband became a better parent

Please walk away, it’s not going to get better. :triangular_flag_on_post: :triangular_flag_on_post: she sounds narcissistic and controlling take your daughter and get out.

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Leave her ass !! She is a controlled freak. She’ll belittle you, ridicule what you do or say . You will never be good enough & in the end your child & you will suffer. I went through this for 15 yrs…Get out while you can & your daughter is young !!

Beware of people who say you are “too sensitive “ when you disagree with them

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RUN … as fast as you can!! I see toxic relationship all over this!

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Don’t waste anymore of you your family life on her life is to short as it is find your happiness elsewhere kids can adapt.

Time to leave and being male orfemale your partner must realize you are her mother and should put her first if she needs u to sleep with oh well

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I would certainly choose my child over anyone or anything. Especially an adult who not only refuses to reason, though she can; an adult who cannot and does not respect my method of parenting. Walk away before the child gets hurt.

From what I read , you already know you have to leave, you’re just scared. Listen to yourself and do the right thing by your daughter. Your daughter might seem fine and playing , that’s only how kids are, these kinda things don’t really hit them till they are older, and she will blame you for letting somebody else abuse her. There are lots of really nice people out there, just like you , believe me , you will find somebody way better than her, that loves your child just as much as you.

There are so many red flags here…I’m usually all for trying to work things out… but this is a toxic relationship…and you need to put your daughter first…get out now.

Also I kno you love her and I kno you love thst your daughter loves her but choose yourselves over her she doesn’t sound good for yall. I think its time to take separate paths.but before you do tell her everything. Tell her all of what you told us and more. She needs to know why what is going on is going on even if she may not ultimately understand. Yalls safety and peace of mind comes first. She doesn’t sound like part if that picture. I’m sorry

You can make it!!! Get an exit plan. The way you live is a choice. Don’t expose your daughter to an unhealthy relationship. She is your life whether you are with anyone or not. Start loving yourself and you will give your daughter the same lesson as her little mind develops. Your letter tells me that you have made a home without boundaries. All relationships need them. Don’t continue to feel guilty about how you raise your baby. Save your life and learn from this. You are not weak. This letter came from something deep within. Don’t panic, plan. Stay focused.

There are plenty red flags!! Leave while you can, before your daughter gets hurt!
She is your first responsibility.
What would happen if your girlfriend was watching your daughter and she left her one in a car or worse? This is not a healthy situation.

These are red flags and signs 100%. Sadly, she may be good with your daughter when you’re around, but what about when you are not. It sounds like she is controlling and wants you to herself only. Your daughter gets in the way. To not allow you to sleep in the room with your ill daughter is crazy.
You need to part ways. It’s not good for you or your daughter. Now is the time, your daughter is young. You are young. So much of your life ahead of you. Don’t waste your time in a situation that has no hope. You need to do this now for both you and your daughter.

If you have a plan to leave and a place to go…Start packing while she’s working. If not, ask her to leave. ASAP. SOUNDS like she’s missing that all important parenting gene and it will only get worse. Dont delay.

Okay initially when I read this I was thinking an older child , which I am immediately thought …”always sticking up for your daughter “ hmmm but then you said 2 year old , yep if momma doesn’t have her back then who does . Yeah younger ones :100: percent need mom in their court. Older ones need you but they can be jaded and well I don’t want to go on about that. 1. The fact that you feel like there are sides already needing to be drawn , red flag 2. The fact that she asking you to use poor methods ( neglect ) of treatment with your child , red flag 3. The fact that she is prone to go off , red flag …yeah one red flag is enough and I can see more than three !

Never leave your child alone in a car. Period!!! The fact that she thought that was a good idea to have a quite dinner shows her selfish side that would have put your daughter in danger. It could also cause cos to take your child if someone reported a abused child in a car. Leave now. You and your child are in danger even if you don’t see it now. This woman should , like you, always put your daughter first. If she doesn’t then you should realize she puts herself above you as well. Leave now.

Sadly this is not good for you both. Sit her down and explain to her that what she doing is not write explain that if this is the way she want to be you are going to have to leave because this is not how you treat a baby if she
Is not prepared to change you must leave the relationship it is just not healthy

Perhaps she’s not cut out to be with kids sick or not i would change for the sake of the child u take care love

If you have to ask if they are red flags…they are! Run! Get out, this will not get better. There is NEVER a reason to hit a child, YOUR child. Of course a mother will put their child 1st. As an adult she has the choice of staying in the room with a sick child or not. There is also NEVER an excuse to leave a child alone in a car, child is sleeping? You are both adults, surely capable of going into store alone while other remains in car with baby. Do some h.w. On narcissism, leaving this situation will never be a mistake.

Ypu need to stop living in fear and get away from her before something bad happens

Get out before your daughter is any older. Make a new life for the two of you. Your responsibility is towards your child first.

Threatening to leave many times will not get you anywhere. You should have plans to leave because threats do no good. The other persin will promise to change until the next time they get angry about something. This is not only toxic for you but especially for your daughter. It is your responsibility to look out for her welfare and safety. If your wife won’t get counseling then there is no answer but to leave.

Your daughter has to come first. Gf needs to go. I can without a doubt say she is mentally abusive. Is she physically abusive? I can tell you from experience it will only get worse and you need to protect your daughter not just from emotional abuse but also from physical abuse. Is she ever alone with your daughter because that would scare the crap out of me. If she acts that way with you there I can only imagine how she is when your not there and your daughter is being taught that this is how love is even though she is being emotionally abused by your gf she is to young to realize it as being wrong so when you say she is happy to see her in the morning and play that’s because she doesn’t know any diffrent. Not only is she in danger she is also being taught that it’s ok to be treated the way you are treated. I was in a very abusive marriage for 23 yrs (there is so much more help for women now) I thought I was protecting my daughters and that they didn’t know. Now that they are grown it breaks my heart when we talk and they tell me things they seen and heard that I truly thought I was protecting them from. I would say get out as soon as possible. If your afraid then make a plan and get a restraining order. Run as fast as you can. I know you love your daughter so when if feels impossible look in your daughters eyes and know you have to protect her

I stopped reading at the car part. Bye girlfriend. Anyone with any common sense know damn well you don’t do that. And that should not have been a thought/ideal to do so. And if you can’t say you pick your daughter over her out loud that’s a problem. This relationship is toxic and the ending results will be your child. I believe if I was to continue this story I’ll be trying to track one of y’all down.

I’d say yes all red flags!! That’s your baby girl! Dont let anyone tell you how to raise her! Your baby girl comes first. If she has a problem with that then that’s her loss. I wish you the best :heart:

Okay hold up, I’ve been with my husband 11 years and I will always choose are children’s health and welfare over anyone! Even if that included him. He knows this, I’ve said this, I said this from day 1. I’ve done this, my children will always be my number 1 priority above anyone, Including myself. I didnt finish reading past that because if someone is gonna be mad that you love your child more than them, for me that’s a “there is the door, don’t let it hit you in the ass otw out, bye” kind of thing. Now thing may change when they are grown, but while it’s my responsibility to help grow and guide them into adults bet your ass they come first.

Sounds somewhat narcissistic to me. When you become a parent ,it is no longer about you. The welfare of the child is the most important. I think it’s best to take your child and go. It’s just gonna get more toxic. Or if your nervous about leaving. Give her an ultimatum. It’s counseling or done.

Do and say what you need and want to do for you and your daughter. If it hurts her feelings a few times then maybe she will realize she is not in full control. She is being controlling because she is most likely used to getting her way, put your foot down & if she’s so unhappy with how things go at that point, she can respectfully leave on her own. That’s your baby & if you weren’t with her, you wouldn’t do things the way you’ve been doing them most likely.

This is abuse. Get it in video first , every time she does it . Talk to a lawyer, then CPS and take that baby and move out and refuse to let her see the baby till your Lawyer tells you what to do next.

Personally my daughter would be my priority. She seems jealous of your daughter. I also would not leave my daughter when sick! She could have slept on the couch. You obviously have 2 complete opinions on child raising. My grandchildren are all being raised without spanking. There are time outs etcetera. If she is not willing to change I would suggest having her leave!

Please ask for help and leave. This is not good for you or your daughter. I commend you for being such a good mom.

If you have to ask you know the answer. Soon as she said leave the baby in the car me and my butt would have been hella gone. Leave. There’s not enough there. Worth staying for

I would be done. Sorry. That’s just not a parent’s way of thinking. Your child is 2 and that means 16 more years of her being selfish, dangerous, and cruel to your daughter. It means possibly your daughter becoming a completely different person than what she would be if raised by one loving single mother or two loving parents. But, right now…she does not have two parents who have her best interest at heart always and who put her first. Because, your partner is not thinking like a parent. I hope you leave.