But she’s a grown ass adult….smdh
She is 21! Time to cut the umbilical cord mom
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Just because she spending the night or wanting to spend the night at her boyfriend’s house does not mean that they’re going to be doing anything sexual I would allow her to go and spend the night there she is an adult
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You need to trust your daughter
Atleast she asked tbh most 19 year olds and 21 year olds wouldn’t even ask
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Be proud that u raised her right. She asked u first. That it self is a huge respect to u and how u raised her. Shes not asking to do it at your house. Which is also respect. If his parents are fine with it, then the same respect to them.
U instills your values into her. At 21 its time for her to make some of her own decisions and start flying the nest a little. Not every one goes to collage and that shouldn’t be the decision why you don’t want her to “adult”.
Shes old enough to know better. And know she what she’d have to live with for her actions.
Support and let her go
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You were a teenage mom, not her. She is 21. She is a grown ass woman. She shouldn’t even be having to ask you but out of respect she does. You do have a say so if she’s wanting to bring him to your home. But if she’s wanting to stay there that’s up to his parents.
So many of yall are saying she’s toxic? I’m sorry but she’s not. This child still lives under her roof. Meaning she ain’t grown enough to be on her own. If it was my daughter I would have a talk with her. My house, my rules. I was a young mom myself. Went to stay the night with my boyfriend of 3 years. But I wasn’t living under my moms roof. I lived with my sister and honestly, she didn’t care what I did. I could have done drugs and she wouldn’t have cared. Which ain’t good. Parents have rules because they care and want to protect us until we are mature enough. I had to learn what life was at a young age. So while I respect the daughter asking permission to go, I understand the moms side too. Those saying she’s too controlling are tripping. It’s called respect. 
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Lady she is an adult and the fact that she came to you to ask out of respect should also be respected SHES 21 !! At what point does she get to make her own decisions
Also why are you assuming she will be having sex and if she is why are you judging ? Again she is 21 and sex is more then a way to make a baby
Most of you guys are really commenting about not stopping her 21 year old from sleeping over at SOMEONE ELSE’S House when clearly she’s stated she doesn’t think its appropriate but also isnt stopping her from going to his house, she’s talking and wondering about HER house… honestly I respect she asked and if she’s in your home she needs to respect what you say in your home, yes she may go do these things in other places and its nice she’s in your home and you know shes safe but the amount of people here who are hating and judging you and your decision to not have it in your home. For me I don’t want that in my house at all especially because my sons are 4 years apart and I don’t want my oldest to do that with his younger brother still in the home and once older brother is out of the home the decision can POSSIBLY be revisited
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Your roof. Your rules. My parents never allowed my long time boyfriend to stay over only occasionally on the couch.
I have two daughters 21&18. I would not allow my 18 year old to have a boy sleepover, but she is an adult. I can’t stop her from staying at a friends. She’s always working and school so it’s not an issue. But IMO she’s an adult and is very responsible. 21 is def an adult and really doesn’t even have to tell you where she’s sleeping. She’s respecting you for sharing and that’s very nice. If he’s right for her he will respect your wishes too. 
I am so in between on this. For one, she’s a legal adult and can do whatever she wants. She doesn’t need permission. At the same time, she’s living at home and therefore your house your rules.
This is a tricky one. But if she wants to sleep with him on the first week, she’s going to do it.
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She’s 21. I could understand you not wanting her to bring him to your house this soon but that isn’t what she’s asking. Telling her what she can and cannot do and with who at 21 is weird.
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She’s 21. Don’t feel like she should even have to ask you.
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She’s an adult, mom.
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My boyfriend stayed at my house and I stayed at his at the age of 16 and then he moved in with me and my parents when he was 17 and the summer before my senior year. I agree 1 week is a little early but she is an adult
Key words “adult daughter”…she’s an adult, treat her like one.
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I still lived with my parents at that age and started sleeping out at 18. Legal adult age. Can join the military age. Definitely need to let her live he life, and as much as you want to protect your baby, you need to let her make her own mistakes too.
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When I moved back in with my grandmother at 22 my boyfriend moved in with me a couple weeks later 
. As long as you know where she is at it shouldn’t be a big deal! And just because you had a child at a young age doesn’t mean she will!
You need to stop projecting on to your daughter and allow her to live her life and make her own mistakes and learn her own lessons. She’s an adult and she’s had the respect to ask you permission. Trust her.
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Girl they are legally adults. You’re toxic and controlling.
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It’s ok for you to have that boundary set for your home. You don’t get to tell her no to staying somewhere else, she is an adult. She is also not too young to get pregnant and that would be HER choice not yours. I would tread lightly unless you want things to be rocky with your adult daughter.
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Why are you still controlling her when she’s 21?!?! Just because she lives in your house doesn’t mean you get to tell her what she can do in every aspect of her life. If you raised her to be a responsible competent adult than she should know to use protection if she has set with him.
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Ma’am, your daughter is grown, you can cut the umbilical cord now. You don’t have to let this boy spend the night at YOUR house but you can’t control if your daughter wants to go to his house. You need to loosen the reigns some before your daughter leaves home and cuts ALL ties with you.
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She is an adult, you can still make rules for your house just like you would for any guest, but you have absolutely no control on whether she goes to his house or if they go away for the weekend, it’s not your place also her job has nothing to do with whether she can date and make her own choices
She’s 21 years old. She’s a adult she can do what the hell she wants. Stop being a.Bi*** if I was her I would cut you a** and go get my own place
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My 20 yr old still lives under my roof. She works and pays partial rent. My house my rules. So I agree. Moms know things. Has she met the boy. My rule is if they can’t come to the door to meet me… you can’t be with them. There’s a lot more to this we don’t know
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“Adult daughter” key words
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Maybe they just want to spend quality time with each other, have a bottle of wine, watch a film and be unable to drive home so easier to stay.
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I think as adult children are living underneath their parents roof it’s under the discretion of the “child”… however in GENERAL one week is too soon for a new relationship so a WOMAN, I’d tell her no. Not as your child, but in general.
SHES AN ADULT. Stop being so overprotective and let get go. Why did she even ask?
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I had been married and divorced by 21. Let her live her own life.
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Why do you have a say in this? Shes past 18, unless she is using your money you have no say lol
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I agree with the mom. 1 week is way too soon to be spending the night with someone. No matter how old she is or if she lives on her own or with mom. She doesn’t know him well enough.
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Yes she should be aloud too, but if wanna run rules, and she wants to have a man/boy over, maybe she should pay rent? All n all you need to let her sprrad her wings and be thankful she is doing so under roof instead of what she could have done from 18 til now having her own place with roomates! If you hinder her, she will rebel! Most important… how would you feel at her age?!
Your choices are not your daughters.
Stop punishing her because you feel you made a mistake as a teenager.
She is an adult and she needs to be allowed to make her own choices and learn from her own situations.
Also. There is no reason to dog on her for working as a waitress and not having a college education.
Might surprise you. But LOTS of parents don’t go to college and raise perfectly fine children. As well as being more than capable of being a parent.
She’s not you. It’s not for you to say at this point if she’s “too young” to get pregnant because she is, by law, an adult.
Maybe you should have a conversation with her, openly and without consequences. Ask if she’s sexually active (she probably is) & discuss things calmly. Why it makes you uncomfortable and why you want her to be cautious. But explain to her that as an adult, she is allowed to make these choices. Because it isn’t YOUR body.
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She’s 21!!! You wont be able to control what she does for very long. I get she lives with you but if you want to keep her living with you stop controlling her because she will pick up and move in with someone you may or may not approve of.
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I let my dtr at 17. She was on birth control. If it didn’t go on in a safe place like under my roof, it would just be going on somewhere else, like the woods,the back of a car etc etc.
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Hmm I’m not sure about what I’d do. But it’s ur house n ur rules should apply.
You’re joking right? At age 20 I lived with boyfriend.
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I lived with my boyfriend and his parents at 18. We were married and had our first child by the time I was 21. Stop being crazy. This is her choice not yours. I don’t even know why she’s asking.
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So I can understand you not wanting her coming and going all hours of the night . But if she wants to stay the night with her boyfriend she shouldn’t really have to ask. Obviously if she has any sort of “different abilities” this could change the situation. Otherwise I would honestly just be thankful she’s being honest and open to where she’s actually staying.
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I was engaged at 19 and had a baby at 21.
Well um she is an adult and technically he is too. Do you want to push her away? Because that is what you are going to do. You should be happy she even asked, cause when I was 21 and lived at home I didn’t tell my mom much of anything. Consider yourself a good mom that she hasn’t followed in your foot steps and got pregnant younger.
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Your house ; your rules . I don’t care if she was 35 , it wouldn’t happen in my house . Stand your ground .
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She’s an adult mind your business. She’s also not too young to get pregnant wow very rude and judgemental mom… kinda shocked at how you think you can still control her life
I wouldn’t allow it either! There’s so many parents let they’re kids just do whatever they want. They say they’re an adult…by age only! If they’re an adult they’d be on there own, pay all there bills, have college degree, good paying job! That’s an adult! She’s living under your roof…I’d say NO!
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I got pregnant at 18 and am now 23 with my third and am happier than I’ve ever been. If your daughter were to decide she wants children now, you absolutely have zero say in that. You could tell her she can’t live with you If that’s her choice but you can’t keep her from having babies.
Number two, your daughter is an adult. Her boyfriend is an adult. You need to let her make decisions for herself. Or if you feel like since she doesn’t pay her way at home that she doesn’t have that right, then tell her if she wants to do what she wants she has to pay rent.
Trust your parenting and allow your adult daughter to make her own decisions.
Your house, your rules!
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Sorry but not your place to say no, offer your opinion and let her be an adult.
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Is she mentally challenged? Or are you just some complete control freak? She’s 21. Living at home or not, you really have no right to say squat about her spending the nite somewhere. Go get a hobby and stay out of her personal life. Especially her sex life. This is just 
on your part.
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my daughter is 20. after months of them dating and my saying no shed had it and just went. this causes the biggest fight weve ever been in. i decided it was more important to allow her to make some of her own decisions with my being there to catch and guide her than it was to stick to the my house my rules mentality.
Dating for a week 
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I definitely agree with you! As a parent you need to teach her to respect herself. I know that I am from the OLD age ……. My parents thought me if you don’t respect yourself , don’t expect any man to respect you.
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I worked hard, moved out at 18, and paid my own bills so I could live my life as an adult the way I wanted. Parents house, parents rules. I didn’t like my parents rules so I left
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Being and “Adult” means being self sufficient and not under your roof. Its ridiculous that she even wants to spend the night after a week. At 21 she can do what whe wants as long as you arnt paying for it.
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She is an adult, treat her like one. Nothing is worse than being treated like you’re still 12 by your parents just because you still live with them. Try thinking about it if you were in her shoes. 21 is way too old to be treating her like a child. Most people, especially in other countries, live with their parents way past 18 years old. If I were her I wouldn’t have even asked permission. Sounds a little bit like control issues on your end. (“Your house, your rules!” – She’s a person and she lives there too, try having a smidge of mutual respect.)
She might be too young (in your opinion) to get pregnant but she’s not too young to be on (or use) birth control and make her own decisions.
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She’s an adult. You really don’t have a say in where she spends the night if she wants. Now if she asked you if her bf could spend the night at YOUR house, well thats a different story and you would have every right to say no in your house.
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Wtf 
she is 21 leave her alone
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I think it’s okay to have boundaries in your home and expect her to respect them… without being too pushy. I’d respect the fact she’s being open and honest, and wanting to stay there vs somewhere else. I know I would. Coming from experience, my own mom was a teen mom, had me at 15. She spent so long trying to make sure i didn’t go down the same path (which i was never going to her and i were totally different) that it strained our relationship and now we have none, at all. There were also other issues as well, but the main one was her being controlling to be “preventative” and also being jealous (weird to say about your own kid but definitely truthful). Now I’m a mom myself, and my daughter doesn’t know her, which is for the best. That also being said, I had my daughter right before I turned 21. And I’m married with the love of my life. Best day of my life was having that little girl.
I snuck around a lot because of the way my mom was. Even when I graduated high school and was going to college. I couldn’t be open with her about anything even as an adult. And I hated it.
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She is, and let me reiterate, AN ADULT. Over 18 years of age. And responsible from what it sounds like. Why are you trying to control her like she’s still a teenager? That’s gonna cause unwanted animosity towards you in the future.
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Welp… she’s 21, which means she’s an adult.
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I was spending the night with mine at his parents house as a teenager. I think it’s strange that she would even ask you? 
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If she’s an adult then whenever she wants.
She has been an adult for several years. I am almost certain she has had sex and will continue to have sex no matter your decision. It happens during the day, in cars, outdoors ect. She asked for your permission to be away for the night. Am I off base if I am reading that only knowing him for a week doesn’t mesh with your values? 20-24 is about when young adults start to establish thier own set of values. It can feel like they are being disrespectful but it’s actually a sign of healthy development. Asking for your permission is her recognizing she is stepping outside of your values. She is acknowledging your potential discomfort. Talk to her about the values you raised her with and listen to hers. But, holding her to your values at this point in her life will create distance in your relationship.
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Seriously… She’s almost 21…
You don’t have say……she’s an adult. You would have a say if she were wanting him to stay at your house…being it’s your house……not no say for if she can spend the night with him.
They are both adults. You don’t have a say in if she can or can’t.
lol why is she even asking you? She should be telling you.
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I moved home after college I was 21 and still had a curfew. My parents would allow my boyfriend to spend the night, but we were always in separate rooms. Their house their rules. I’m 43 now and I get it.
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She is 21 let her live her life
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She’s 21 not 12. She can do as she pleases
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If she’s an adult then let her get her own place if she wants guys to stay over
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She’s 21, she’s an adult and should be treated as one. Just because she lives in your home doesn’t make her less of an adult. She should be able to go stay where ever she wants to. Now you have every right to say no to allowing anyone to stay in your home. But as for her staying somewhere else that’s her decision and hers alone.
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It’s your house if she does not like the rules she should go get her own place. It’s called respect. When she pays rent and bills she has a say.
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You’re a control freak.
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How is this even a question. Poor girl even feels the need to ask you.
Stay out of her business.
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She should have had more respect for her parents and his to even ask! 21 and definitely an adult so when she gets her own place, she’ll have the right to do as she pleases !! Stick with your guns, mom! Your house, your rules!!
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She’s a grown woman, she really doesn’t need to ask your permission.
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You’re joking right? She is an adult. So whenever she wants to. The fact she still lives with you is completely irrelevant. Stop being controlling.
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Right on! I agree with you and this will be my poor daughter also. ALTHOUGH she is 21 and that makes her an adult. Don’t push her away from you, so give her some space. Some parents don’t care and let their children do as they please but that’s because they’re not very good parents. You’re a good mom, just ease up a little.
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Shes an adult and so is he. My advice to her is go get a motel.
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Is this post for REAL. Or is it a joke. She at 18 didnt have to ask your permission. Ya must really have her brainwashed to think she needs your permission. I feel sad for her having a tyrant as a mother how sad. You think his parents are crazy 
your the crazy one. So let me get this straight you let her still stay at her own home for “free” so you can tell her as a 21yr old ADULT woman whom she can or can not stay the night with. Eventhough its at the adults bf parents house. You need serious help it might sound great in your twisted mind but its not right in reality. Your adult Daughter needs to get out from under your tyranny. You need to seek professional help. I get your trying to save her heartache maybe. But she is adult and can adult herself. You are wrong on so many levels edge of abuse. Seek help.
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She’s an adult and you don’t even have a say in this. Although she respects you enough to discuss it, she never needed to ask you for permission.
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… Shes fucking 21. Yikes.
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My parents were a lot like you. I was sneaking around etc. Trust me it will make her resent you.
You aren’t letting her spread her wings
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Your nuts, she’s a ADULT. She can go where she pleases. Your going to ruin your relationship with her
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You realize she can still get pregnant weather she sleeps over his house or not right? If you’re so concerned put her on birth control.
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Parenting? Lol no more like control! She’s 21 years old!! Move out girl asap
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Wow! You need to probably speak to a physiologist for whatever issues you’ve got going on because that’s insane.
Let’s normalize setting a standard for our children by not letting them settle for all the worldly risky behaviors that breed struggle, pain, and sin. If you are a follower of Christ you know there is a right way and a wrong way to do things. We look so much like the world and today it is almost a crime not to lol. Stick to your standard mama.
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I’m 26 my fiancée is 27 he sleeps over all the time ! But we also been together for 5 years though !
After 18 they’re adults I can’t tell them anything, but it’s my house she can do what she wants outside my home but not in my home
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She’s not a teenager
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Wow. Almost 21 and you think you can control her like that? Shame on you. She can do as she pleases. You sound awful.
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I got pregnant at 19 and had my daughter at 20. And I must say, I’m doing pretty well for myself. Bought a house 2 years ago, bought a brand new car 6 months ago. And I started off living with my parents. She is 21, let her live her life. She has to make her own mistakes and fix her own problems now. You can’t do it forever.
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I briefly lived with my parents at 21 and came and went as I wanted. The only thing I ever mentioned to them is if I wasn’t coming home, so just go ahead and lock up for the night. I paid most of their bills, so, even if it was THEIR house, I still had more of a say. Oh well. Y’all can get mad.
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This is a good way to ensure your adult daughter never speaks to you again after she moves out. She’s 21. Let her have some freedom. You’re being weird.
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Shes 21 yea she may live under ur roof but she is an adult an can do what she wants i dont see anything wrong with it except that she is still asking u to stay the night places thats ridiculous… she shouldnt feel like she has to ask ur permission to do things shes an Adult…
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