I would make sure you just say the whole baby part to her you don’t have your own place you work a very low income unstable job and you haven’t even experienced life talk her into traveling ect either way she’s 21 that’s plenty old enough but ! You are absolutely right about it just that she going to do it either way 
give her the talk use birth control ect unless you want a baby and once baby come forget about you she’s doing amazing asking honestly and she didn’t lie to you so have some respect for yourself for parenting and your grown but young daughter 
ps try to talk her into being more active out side of boys 
She is adult but she’s under ur roof if she gets pregnant it’s all gonna be in ur house. She has only known him for a week. She should respect herself more. Talk to her about it.
She can get just as pregnant without spending the night.
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I’m sure she can use a condom. She’s 21 years old. She can sleep over at, move to, date whoever she wants. Stop being controlling of an ADULT human being. She don’t belong to you because you let her live there
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If your fear is her getting pregnant I’m sure she knows what to do not to. She’s not 15, she’s 21 give her come credit. In regards to her spending the night somewhere else that is your house, your rules. I just wouldn’t do it based solely on the idea you think she’s irresponsible and will get pregnant.
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At his parents house is Just Plain Gross & disgusting…She should know someone more than a Week…She doesn’t have to ask you…His parents shouldn’t allow girls overnight.
Damn are you so sure she is going to sleep with him. Give her some space and quit controlling her. Shes an adult!!!
Just saying a lot of people are saying shes an adult doesnt mean shes a mature person who can distinguish btwn what’s right and what’s wrong.
She will thank you when she grow up for protecting her .
When a girl present herself as cheap no body respect or want marry her at least that’s what we blv in just saying ure 100% correct in protecting her . In my opinion she should only spend the night out once shes married bc that’s how my family raised us . To value yourself focus on our goals in life in doing things that really matter .
I can tell you everyone whos advising u otherwise they r themself people that have regret what they have done as teenagers.
Remember a man at the end of the day is ok having u for free without any commitment even having kids with u
But as women we r not . A women invest emotionally.
And once things turned out against her she end up living with that regret.
put boundaries that’s ur daughter get ur husband involved protect her .
How do you think this person will respect or value ur child( and yes I call her a child bc she will always be ) if she make herself available.
He will think thats what she does with everyone .
And guess what he doesnt mind bc his goals is not for having ftr with her but using her and dumping her later .
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Tf if shes old enough to pay bills and drink shes old enough to decide who she dates you sound controlling 
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She is an adult. It’s not your choice. Not everyone has to go to college. Servers actually can make really good money and I know a lot of people who have supported their families being servers. And quite a few people who have paid their way through college as a server.
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Tell her if she wants to play house…get one.
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I feel horrible for your daughter. It sounds like you put a ton of pressure on her and she definitely probably struggles with feeling like a disappointment judging by the way you talk about her. First of all she’s an adult. If you don’t want boys over at your house then whatever, but I can’t even believe she actually asked you for permission to stay at a boys house at 21 years old. You even said she pays her own bills and takes care of herself. Also, not having a college education does not make you less of an adult. College isn’t for everyone! Waiting tables can teach some really valuable skills and the money is definitely not bad. I didn’t go to college. I waited tables for years, I now bartend and I bring more home than all of my friends who did go to college AND I have zero debt. Let your daughter live her life and make her own choices!
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I think your fears are valid, but you are projecting. Talk to her about her birth control options, have her make an appointment, then let her be free. You are letting her stay w you rent free because she is your child and you love her. If you control her, you may lose that relationship.
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I know its your house your rules but she’s grown she 21 and works and pays her own way time to let her be a adult or grown up
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She is an ADULT, stop treating her like a child. Smh.
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She’s 21. She doesn’t need your permission.
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I started spending the night with my now fiancé at 19. Yea we got pregnant but since then I’ve left my fast food job and started my career, gone to college, had a second baby, and got engaged.
You don’t have to do things in order, she is an adult and if she feels that strongly about it soon she may not even ask. As well just because they are spending the night together does not instantly mean they are having sex. If that’s a concern sit down and talk with her about your concerns.
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It’s not your place to decide. She is an adult. It is very weird and unhealthy that you think you have the right to tell her she can’t when she is 21. It doesn’t matter if she lives with you. She is an adult and should be making this decision on her own.
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She’s an adult, it’s not your business
Spending the night does not mean pregnancy. By age 21 she’s definitely been having sex even if she’s not been sleeping over places. At age 18 is when they get to learn things for themselves and make their own decisions. If you continue to try and run her life you will eventually lose her respect and she will rebel.
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Um, she’s grown. Why does she need your permission? You sound controlling.
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If she was acting like a adult she would think better of herself and not want to sleep with someone she barely knows, spending the night at his parents is not appropriate!
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Two words for ya, control freak! Feel bad for your daughter
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Let her !!She’s almost 21 she knows the consequences about not using birth control and if she doesn’t pay anything at home your fault
Coming from someone who’s mother was just like you, I’d advise you not to control your ADULT daughter. You will push her away and once she moves out don’t be shocked when you don’t hear from her 
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Your house, your rules.
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I think u have a respectful daughter. I wouldn’t of asked. Inwould of given u a courtesy call saying I’ll see u tomorrow lol. With that being said,I think she is responsible enough just off the fact she asked for permission. Its time to let the bird out the nest momma.
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We raise children to be adults. We can’t then complain when they’re adulting
I’ll never understand why people allow their parents to control them after age 18. Let go momma. She doesn’t need your permission.
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At least 25 or even 30!
You sound like a psycho. Sounds like the extra years she’s spent at home has made you lose it. Yikes
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I for one am in agreement with you.
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This screams controlling parent! You daughter is an adult, a grown ass women… she is free to make her own choices in life… this post reads so much icky…let her be an adult or she’ll never be able to function on her own and make choices
Notice that most of the people who are talking down to this lady are very young girls. Hmmmm. She’s doing the right thing. So many young ladies out there screwing around with various men, and by the time they hit 30 they’ve played house with 2 or 3 guys and wonder why life is dealing them such a hard hand. Girls, don’t accept the notion that sex is some expression of love. Demand respect and honor from men, and don’t settle for less than that.
I have 4 daughters not yet grown and even the thought of one of them asking me at 21 to do adult things as an adult is bazaar 
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Just remember momma they will find a way if they really want to even if they know you don’t approve. I believe it’s better to give them advice of what may be a smarter idea and hope they make the right choices for them.
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She is over 18. She is an adult. I know you may be scared but she is an adult. Let her be an adult.
Ummm she’s 21 and asked your permission? And you said no? Lol you said it yourself. She is an ADULT. Time to let go mom
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Well shes 21 so can’t be a teen mom at 21. And she’s an adult. Be glad she asked. Let her be an adult.
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Lol what? She’s 21. She’s an adult. Having him stay over at your house is a different thing as it’s your house, your rules, but you can’t control every aspect of her life.
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Shes 21 under your roof or not you don’t really have a say regardless stop being a controlling psycho mom and let your daughter live I cant believe she even bother to ask you to do things …shes 21, go live ya life girl
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Its not your business to tell her what she can or cant do as an adult. She can ask you for your advice but you can’t really tell her no
She’s an adult. At least she’s telling you the truth. She could have said, I’m going to spend the night with Becky. Make sure she’s being safe and then mind your own business.
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You pay your bills, your house your rules. I dont think you are telling her she can’t, because I hope you understand as an adult she can…“just somewhere else” not under your roof.
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You sound super controlling 
. She’s an adult. You’re lucky she even asked you. I remember when I was living at home paying my mom’s rent I’d bring my now fiance over without asking and when she wasn’t home. Also who cares when she decides to have a baby you can’t control that to dictate when that happens that makes you sound extra controlling. Also a bit of a bitch, being a waitress and no college education means nothing she’s and adult. I made an adult choice at 19 to have kids with my fiance best decision I made expecting baby number 2 not even 18 months later. As an adult we get to make those decisions. No one else.
uhm, i was 21 when i had my daughter,(she was planned) i was working at the mall… my daughter is now 4 and i’m going into my second year of college, top of my class too. I think you are being completely unreasonable… the fact that she asked you shows she is responsible! she is an adult and can make her own decisions. it sounds like you just aren’t ready to let go
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I agree. Your house your rules. Dating a guy for a week is way too soon to be having a sleepover!
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Be lucky she even asked you. She is an adult now momma sorry to say so. Has been for years. I would explain to her as an adult that you can’t stop her, but to remember it’s only been a week with this guy and that to respect her own boundaries give it more time. Yes your home your rules, which means he doesn’t have to be at your home, and you can stop her from coming and going through the night out of respect for your home. But it’s time to let her do her own thing.
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She 21 not a child .
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Educate her on safe sex instead of trying to dictate her sex life. That’ll just drive her away from you and will lead her to act out. Which usually ends in unwanted pregnancies more often than open communication and trust.
I’m surprised she’s still living at home at 21 with you! When I turned 18, I told my mom that I was an adult and while I would respect her rules, I wanted to be able to stay with my boyfriend sometimes, and have him stay with me sometimes. She said no. I moved out the next day. She is an ADULT. All you’re gonna do is push her away!
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She doesn’t need to spend the night at his house to get pregnant 
At 21 you can’t stop her and may put a nice little wedge in your relationship with her. She needs to make her own mistakes at 21!
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You’re treating her as if she’s younger than 21, staying home Not paying bills (rent), not going to college, etc. If she wants to do adult things like stay at her boyfriends, then it’s time to do other adult things like pay bills and figure out what she wants to do with the rest of her life. She is an adult just start treating her like one across the board - with love.
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She is an adult. You cannot shelter your child forever. She is 21 years old. She can make her own decisions. If his parents are fine with it, there really shouldn’t be a problem. Especially since it isn’t your household that she’s going to. I was a teenage mom too, but when my daughter becomes an adult, I’m not going to tell her she can and can’t do things.
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Nope my house my rules. When you can support your own home you can choose to come and go as you please. I watched my mom make this mistake and she now supports my 22 year old sister and her baby. I agree with you mom!
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All you’re going to do is push her away
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Good parenting, if she doesn’t want to follow the rules then let her live somewhere else because it won’t stop with that
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Um shes 21 years old why are you still telling her what she can and cant do you made the decision to not make her pay u rent thats a grown woman if u dont let that girl live 
At 18 my boyfriend lived with me at my moms. We both of course sat down and spoke to her about it BUT we were also very respectful of the rules that she had.
My mother would have rather had something bad happen under her roof than somewhere she had no control of or idea of the situation
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Lol she’s 21
At least she’s telling you what she wants to do. At 21 I was 40 weeks pregnant 
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She can go anywhere she damn well pleases with whoever she damn well pleases. Mind ya damn business woman. If she ain’t bringing it to YOUR HOUSE then you ain’t got no say. Go ahead and try to control your adult ass child I guarantee it won’t work out in your favour, you will only push her alway.
Your house, your rules. Stand your ground mom!
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My ex husband and I were in our 30s. We could stay at his parents house but not in the same bed until we were engaged. Your house, your rules. I don’t think you can tell her no for going there to stay, but you could say no for them coming to your house to stay if you aren’t comfortable with it. Regardless, what’s going to happen is going to happen whether you let her stay or not.
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Your house ur rules, if she doesn’t like them then she can move out idk I view things more old school. Also they haven’t even been together that long, I would also be concerned for her safety and talk to her about respecting and valuing herself. Just my opinion
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She is over 18. She can do what she wants and is responsible for any consequences. You couldn’t stop her from robbing a bank, if she wants to stay at a boys house I don’t see that as a bad thing at all.
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Umm are you for real??? As I agree with you that a week is a bit soon for sex she’s 21 it is none of your business. You do sound a bit crazy and it sounds like your daughter is on her way to being crazy as well if at 21 she still feels the need to ask your permission for adult things. CUT THE CORD! This is bizarre.
She’s 21. The answer should be obvious.
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Your home, your rules. Stay true to your self. Let your daughter choose when she is ready to be 100% grown and independent- then she can do what she pleases, where she pleases, and with whom she pleases, just not under your roof.
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She’s 21 not 12. Living with you or not. Who are to say she can’t spend the night at her bf house. Your gonna lose a relationship with your daughter because of your demanding ways. She’s grown. Leave her alone.
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I’m surprised she asked. I bet she won’t next time, and you’ll worry where she’s at… I’d let her live her life, even if she makes mistakes.
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They are still going to have sex no matter what.
She definitely doesn’t not need your permission at 21. And trying to boss her around is only going to push her away
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I’m on your side Momma. While she has every right to sleep with whoever she wants to, You have the right not to have Strangers traipsing through your Home. When she’s ready to truly adult she’ll save enough money to move out on her own. You are Not being controlling because you have boundaries. You are doing your daughter a huge favor by not charging any rent at all. When your daughter is mature enough she’ll stop saying “everyone else does” and save enough money to get her own place with friends or a boyfriend. If she wants adult benefits she has to take adult responsibility. (I have two adult daughters who are thriving btw)
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I think it’s weird that you’re treating an adult like a child still.
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Your house your rules
Shes 21, something wrong with this picture
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I think she’s a bit old for you telling her where she can and can’t go
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You’re controlling. You made the choice to give her no responsibilities and direction. You want to keep her your little girl forever… i hope she’s been saving so she can break away.
You’re daughter is an adult. Tell her to make sure she uses protection, that she’s on birth control and leave it alone. End of story.
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She’s an adult. Adults pay bills. She is. Adults date. She’s doing that too. You said 11 days is to short, when does it become long enough for your acceptance? She doesn’t need a bed to get pregnant. Maybe talk to her about safe sex and make sure she knows her options
She’s 21. Not a baby anymore
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She is a grown adult and you should have faith in her to protect herself
She respects you enough to ask you, kudos to her for that. She works and makes her own money so I see a hotel trip in the near future. If shes smart about it, she will turn her phone off so your calls dont reach her while she is partying in between the sheets
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Ummm shes 21…gosh I can’t stand it when you adults treat your kids like they are still not an adult. Just because she is your child doesn’t give you the rite!
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I read things like this and I’m so thankful for my own mom. 
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Anyone making comments on here that either don’t have any children or do and are young shouldn’t judge…wait until you are faced with the same situation and the see how you would react …believe me mama bears protect their children. Opinions sometimes change when you are faced with it yourself.
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Some of you give weird vibes & it makes me wonder if your kids hate you
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I’m surprised she asked 
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I think it’s really weird that you’re still treating your 21 year old daughter like a 16 year old. Also, just because she wants to stay the night, doesn’t mean she wants to have sex with him.
She’s 21 old enough to make her own decisions
I was in college when I was 21 and stayed with my boyfriends all the time my mom probably wouldn’t have let my boyfriend stay with me at her house, but I definitely did all the time at that age.
She’s an adult and you’re way too obsessed with keeping her a child. Back off let her stay with the boyfriend. Be grateful she even mentioned it to you instead of going off and dong it on her own regardless. Keep treating her like a child and you’ll lose that guaranteed.
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She’s old enough to rent a hotel room but you won’t “let” her sleep over with her boyfriend… I’m glad she respects you enough to honor your wishes, but you’re out of line.
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Never under my roof hahaha xx
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My parents did that to me so I moved out didn’t talk to them very much either. Now I have a child and talk to them everyday but let her. You’re honestly pushing her to rebel and that sometimes leads to bad choices. Give her some freedom
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Well she probably is already doing the deed with him so spending the night with him at this time is not going to make her pregnant. She is probably already spending time with him at other places. She is grown, and while the boy is 19, I think is his parent I probably wouldn’t want them to stay the night at the house, but they can get a room.
I’m a waitress with no college education who’s 21 and a mom and i’m doing amazing she’s an adult not a teenager as you said and she should be making her own decision regardless if she lives with you are not she can gives you a heads up on where she is/going so that you’re not worried
She’s 21. You have no say unless it’s happening on your own home.
You can tell which of these women were the toxic mothers
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Not to sound harsh but she is 21 and does not need your permission.
I would feel honored that she respected you enough to ask.
Means she loves and respects you and even values your opinion.
As a mom of adult young ladies , I know the feeling is instantly OMG no way lol right?! They’re still our babies.
Give gentle guidance. Mine personally is usually well I agree or I don’t really agree and here is why but you need to make your own decisions.
We have to let our kids have room to make good and bad choices. It’s how we learn.
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Ummmm…. It’s time to cut the umbilical cord. Your daughter needs to run for the hills lol. She is 21 lady… an ADULT. If she can drink, she can stay at her mans house. Do you show her ID for her at the bars too?
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