If your only concern is them having sex, staying the night isn’t going to stop them. You being a teenage mom should know this. You can explain your reasoning and concerns about why you think she shouldn’t stay the night and go over the whole talk about safe sex and the consequences that unprotected sex can bring, but completely cutting off the idea is just going to make them start being sneaky. I do think 1 week is super quick and when you first start dating you see no bad in the person. Just maybe get to know him and don’t completely shut the idea down because you do not want to lose that communication between you and your daughter.
I’m a parent but some of y’all mom’s in these comments are so weird. Like your kids aren’t YOURS they are their OWN PEOPLE. That’s a person you’re trying to control! Popular opinion: if you raise your kids with a head on their shoulders then you wouldn’t need to worry about what they do.
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Honestly you sound like you want to keep her a child. That can cause issues and make her tend to hate you. Good luck
Lol she’s 21 I wouldn’t have asked your permission. It’s different if she was asking for him to stay the night in your home
She is 21. Try encouraging her and helping her to get her own place. I was already married at 21 with a baby. It was a bad marriage and we weren’t together long but my parents made it harder by trying to mold me into what they wanted me to be. With freedom I was able to find myself and I am with an amazing partner now too and I am pregnant with baby number 3. I am 25 now. All I wish is that I was pushed to live out on my own and have more amazing experiences. If she is immature she especially needs to see how the world is by herself supporting herself but if she needs help be there for her. It’s all a part of learning.
much love it’s not easy but it will be easier for you and her if you help her get out.
The fact you ask this question about your 21 YEAR OLD ADULT daughter, speaks volumes on what type of person you are. Controlling. She can make her own decisions.
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She’s a god damn adult… she can do what she wants
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Tell them to go camping.
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I was already on my own and pregnant with my first baby by 20. Shes an adult and shouldn’t have to ask you but it sounds like she has respect for you so she asked.
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Do you know the movie called Eden? It was based on a true story. The girl there has been dating a guy for almost 2 months and she didn’t know he was a human trafficker who sold women as sex slaves. She went with him one time and she ended up in a trailer pleasing men for how many years before she was able to escape. I’m not sure if she ever saw her mom again… And your daughter has been, what, dating a guy for just a week? Lol. The world is not a safe place to trust anyone so easily and go with them. Talk to your daughter and let her know the facts of the consequences she might encounter. And don’t treat her like she doesn’t have responsibilities, let her pay rent! Lol
She’s 21 you have no say in what she does outside of your house
You sound as if your relationship with your daughter is a solid loving one. Otherwise she wouldn’t even ask. I wouldn’t have asked on fb personally because you will get all the weird and wonderful answers, get called names etc. I have a 20 year old too. Discuss with her, explain your reasons and since she is clever enough and loves you enough to come to you for advice, she will definitely understand where you are coming from. As for getting pregnant or not, it’s her choice - just be there to support he it if it happens.
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All you people saying she’s an adult and the mother has no control, then kick the daughter out. If she’s an ADULT, adults pay for their own home AND their bills…
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Explain to her the pros n cons about spending the night at her week old bfs place…and let her decide
She’s an adult. Why is she even asking permission? At what point are you going to step back and allow her to experience life, mistakes and all? It’s not like she’s bringing him into your home. It’s not happening under your roof. Just let the woman live her life.
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Ngl, the fact that she is 21, automatically pays for most of her things, has a job, and politely ASKED you if it was okay…the refusal is disrespectful in every way. All you’re showing is you don’t trust her, that you don’t believe she is an adult, and the comment you made about “free roof”?? Yeah that’s a red flag, you’re pretty much conveying “my child is legally an adult, but doesn’t do adult things like pay expensive bills, and I don’t let her be an adult by refusing to treat her like one or give her the same respect and rights I would another adult”.
You got lucky to have a respectful kid, start treating her like it.
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Once they are 18 they can make that choice. Mine moved out and in with her boyfriend at 18. She was a senior in high school. We just told her we would prefer her wait until after she graduated. She is 21 now and bought her first house and they still live together. We don’t agree with the way she handled things but she is a adult and made her own decision. They are probably going to have intercourse any way ,weather you like it or not. So just make sure she is protected so an unwanted pregnancy doesn’t happen. I’m pretty sure it already has.
You have no right to DECIDE what she does.
Wake up and face the fact that she is a grown WOMAN !!!
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She’s 21 let her decide how to live her life. But, if my kids want to bring in a boy into my house separate rooms I’m still old fashioned. Yeah, they might sneak into each other rooms lol. But, at least you drew a line your boundaries idk. Good luck
The next conversation will be moving out soon naturally…
What your seeing is some of the uncomfortable reasons our kids decide to grow up more. Mine moved out when I wouldn’t remove the home curfew of 12pm.
You can do whatever you want and so can she 
Let her grow up and make her own mistakes u were a teen mom isn’t it a bit selfish ur denying her her youth u had yours let her have hers only way she’s going to learn from life is living it…pretty insane she’s at home no bills but yet no college…like if your really trying to raise her right college out of high-school would have been the first thing I would’ve done. Ur over here here worried about sleeping with boys u should be more worried about her education…
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She is 21. You cant tell her she cant. I basically lived at my bf’s parents house when I was 16 to almost 18. I didnt get pregnant til I was 30. Lol she is grown
Okay shes 21 cut the cord and let her go shes not 16 nor is she freshly 18 shes 21 legally old enoigh to drink she can make her own decisions your decision making for her ended at 18.
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She’s grown bro leave her be
I was staying with my boyfriends and they were staying with me at 17-19(when I lived with my mom)also adding I had 3 but never at the same time she was very cautious since my sister was a teenage mom… I’m now 23 and pregnant, just remember she may be a child to you but she is a young adult. She deserves freedom and to feel trusted. I wasn’t given freedom when it came to certain things and guess what, I did them but went behind my moms back to do them. Children/young adults are smarter than you give them credit for, I would just talk to her about your concerns and let her make her own decision since she is capable of renting a hotel room for the same exact thing.
Considering she didn’t go down your path…you should let her be 21. Really she shouldn’t have to ask you. All she really needs to say is that she will not be home tonight.
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She will learn all you can do it talk to her and if she listens great if not try again next time
I don’t care how old my child is, no laying up in MY HOUSE 
Get a room or get your own place. This is no hotel.
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She’s an adult… You have no say so.
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Is this satire? This had to be satire. Because Why are we trying to control adult choices? “Free” roof or not you need to respect your adult children for the adults they are. You are not entitled to control your adult child just because you’re allowing them to live with you.
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Being blunt… If you’re worried about her having sex with him… All I can say is that no matter how strict a parent is, if she wants to be having sex with him, she’s going to do it. She may even do it in your house when you’re not there.
She respects you enough to still come to you and that’s great! But she really is an adult.
My parents were just as strict and I grew up respecting them as well, but after a while I realized that it didn’t matter if I asked, their answer would always be NO. I had no freedom even when I was “grown”. I was 18 and chose to move out knowing that all I had was a waitress job that barely would pay the bills. That I would struggle to put food on the table and I would go days without eating. Yet this was still a better option that being suffocated.
I no longer have a relationship with my parents.
All I’m saying is… If you squeeze too tight, you will suffocate her. I sincerely hope your story doesn’t end like mine. Wishing you all the best
She’s 21 id say there are worse things to do. But if your an absolute no one it let her know maybe it’s time for her to get her own place.
I think you should talk to her about how it’s too soon to be staying the night with someone she hardly knows. To me that is way more concerning. She is 21. A legal adult, so she can if she wants. But its not a good idea at this point. Too much happens in this world to be doing this so soon.
Your house your rules
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She’s probably going to move out and never even want to visit you or have anything to do with her… Keeping her tied down like that. Gross…
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I had two kids by 21😂
I’ve been allowed to spend the night with my husband (bf at the time) since 16
Your daughter is an adult, I get your house your rules, but she will grow to hate you if you don’t let her live her life.
My brothers are 21 and live at home and my parents cut that cord at 17 
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She’s 21… She’s an adult…cut the cord, let her go. She need to live and learn, and have fun. She deserves freedom, not mom hanging over her making her decisions for her. If you are that against it, maybe have a chat about her getting her own little place
Anything we do and say is in the presence of God. There are consequences to our actions.
Your age does not make you an adult.
My opinion of course.
Knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t advise anyone to go against the teachings of the Lord.
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Just tell her to get a room if she wants alone time with him. She is 21. She has income.
I think its totally fine honestly. Shes 21 calm down .
I feel like you shouldn’t have a say at 21.
Shes 21 an adult. And as controlling you are about all this,my parents were the same and I ended up getting married at 18 to someone I only knew for 8 months. I moved states away and eloped. Then ended up in an abusive marriage. All because my parents are over bearing. Let your daughter be the adult she is!
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I would appreciate the fact she even asked permission. She could just go do it. I would allow it but wouldn’t allow them to sleep in same bed
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I would cut you off if you were mother, let her experience life.
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She’s a fucking adult, why r u telling her what she can and can’t do, u can’t control ur adult kids whether they live with u or not, it’s a great way to have ur kids not want to know u at all
She’s an adult lol also you say that you don’t want her being a teen mom, SHE IS 21. She’s not a teenager anymore. Stop projecting and let her live.
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Part 2:“My daughter has left home to live with this guy she’s only been seeing for a month…he’s only 19 years old and she’s a waitress…” stay tuned…
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It’s! Your! House!
Your house your choice! She wants boyfriend sleepovers she should move out!
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She can still get pregnant out of your house… just saying…
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She’s an adult and…birth control 
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your roof your rules will stray your ADULT child away, choose your battles wisely.
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I was 22 I had to move back home n my financee would come to stay a night or to when I was living with my parents because we have 2 kids together n I think it is weird that u won’t allow her to hsve him Stay the night she is 21 and she does have a Job and I’m sorry a baby isn’t the end of the world just because u get pregnant at a young age doesn’t mean you’re life is over I was 17 when I got pregnant with my first baby n still graduated high school n walked the stage to get my diploma n my kid saved my life so I think u should treat youre daughter with a little more respect
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Your a horrible person you have no say
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If she can vote, defend our country, then she should be able to make adult decisions. Holding free rent over her head is manipulating. Charge her rent and let her be an adult. Welcome to the 21st century.
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My granddaughter 20 she sleeps at her boyfriend house been with him for two years but at 20 she not a child
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Lol so spending the night automatically equals pregnancy 
WHAT!? Perhaps instead of telling her no because you don’t want her to get pregnant, talk to her about how to avoid that and then let her be on her way.
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Our 19 year old stays at her boyfriends all the time… but if he comes to our house, doors stay open and if he spends the night he has to sleep in her brothers room
She is an adult, whether she lives with you or not. I understand having rules about your home, but you need to cut the cord. If you don’t start treating her like an adult and respect that she is one, she will resent you. I speak from experience. All you are doing right now is treating her like she is a child and pushing her away.
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My parents never allowed it lol
She doesn’t have to stay the night with him to get pregnant. Rather you want to see it or not, You are being controlling. Be lucky she hasn’t rebelled against you, yet! Let her live her life and make her own choices.
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I was 18 when we started “spendovers”. 
Don’t do that to her.
I think this is a little extreme to say your daughter can’t have her boyfriend over or stay at his house at the age of 21.
Now I can’t say I would want her to stay at a basically strangers house by any means so I think she should get to know him but if you think she won’t get pregnant because you won’t let her stay at his house or vica verse your pretty wrong.
Stop holding her down & let go but explain that you are concerned about how early it is in the relationship to stay at his house.
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You have absolute authority to say no IF it was under your roof … You don’t have a right to tell her that she can’t stay somewhere. Now if she is out doing things that can affect you and your life and home, I get that, but I wouldn’t tell her she can’t stay with her boyfriend!
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I was 17 and still in high school when I spend the night with my boyfriend almost every weekend. 
went to college and have my doctorate. Didn’t have kids until after I was married.
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Shes 21. You cant really tell her what to do. You can advise encourage etc talk about birth control but trust that shes capable of making her own decisions
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As long as I lived in my parents house I respected their rules. If you don’t like the rules, you’re an adult move out. Don’t complain like a child.
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She’s fucking 21. Stop treating her like a child.
I would think HIS parents would have a problem with it too!!!
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She’s an adult. I understand not wanting it to happen in your own home. Totally fine. Your house your rules. But shes almost 21. You can’t cockblock her forever cuz you were a teen mom lol shes not a teenager anymore. Shes an adult with a job. She shouldn’t have to ask permission to go do what she wants. You still trying to control her like this is going to push her away. Also, you don’t get to make the rules for what someone allows in their home either. If his parents don’t care, then that’s up to them. If you think that she isn’t gonna have sex because she isn’t staying the night somewhere, you’re wrong lol God this whole post is just so weird to me. I had to move back in with my parents at 20 due to having to quit my job because of health issues. They didn’t care that my boyfriend stayed over. We used to live together lol. I do understand you not wanting it under your own roof though but this isn’t that. Cut the cord and start letting your daughter be an adult and make her own decisions.
Honestly she is 21 her own boss you should bbe proud she ask you!
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If she wants to be treated like an adult she should start acting like one. Get a good paying job, get an apartment 
and spending the night with somebody you only knew a week is not the greatest idea. She may be an adult by age but so far it doesn’t sound like she has an adult mind.
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That isn’t even you place to make that choice anymore. I’d be careful before you push her away and into a bad situation.
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If she’s going to have sex and get pregnant, it will happen if she’s sleeping at his house or not.
It’s not your house but I get what your saying however she will do it soon anyways maybe take your energy and focus on protecting her from pregnancy instead of protecting her from being an adult!!
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You can try to control the situation all you want but you’re not going to be able to stop anything thats going to happen
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What? 21? Let her live her life, she will only resent you if you lay down ultimatums 
she’s an adult - let her do adult shit.
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Is this a joke? She’s 21!
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I had boyfriends stay the night at 19. I got pregnant at the age 19. It probably would have happened regardless. But because she let me and was open to it, she was the person to suggest a pregnancy test when I told her I was late, and she was with me when I took my test. She was the first person I told before I even told my bf
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This is tough. You’re the mama. Your house your rules, but at 21 I had a long term boyfriend and had just had a baby. But I was out on my own at 18. My mom let us all stay at her house together during holidays, but we lived in separate towns. However, if it’s not at your house you really don’t have a say, as she’s legally an adult.
So what you’re saying is you don’t trust that you did a good job parenting her into adulthood that you are going to treat her like a 15 year old. If I were you I’d leave and cut you off. You might be her mother but she is an ADULT. obviously you don’t think you did a good enough job that you can trust her to make good choices. And furthermore just because you don’t agree with the job she has doesn’t mean she isn’t an adult making money for herself. There is nothing wrong with being a waitress. You make it sound like she’s a stripper or something and she’ll never be able to make it without you trust and believe when she gets sick of not being able to be the adult that she is because you dont trust her she will leave and probably cut contact. And stop projecting you’re mistakes onto your daughter. So what you were a teen mom. SHES NOT A TEENAGER ANYMORE. She stopped being on 2 years ago and it sounds like you’re having issues letting go. Cut the damn cord already and let her live her life no matter if you agree or not
You’re serious? Dang lady you sound super controlling and manipulative. Sounds like you need to keep your nose out of her buisness. Pregnancy is not the most horrible thing in the world and I’m sure she knows how to protect herself from it. Let her grow up. Like damn. Shes 21. Unless she has medical or religious ties you aint saying then she should be able to do whatever she wants
Wait a minute, she’s 21 that’s drinking age. Are you telling me that if she wants to go have some drinks and a fun overnight out that you are going to say no and keep her locked indoors. She’s literally at an age where she can buy you a beer and say chill. Lmmfao if she’s 21 and you were a teen mom with her then your not much older than me, how on earth can you have the mindset of being overly controlling of your adult child. You have no right judging or dictating her life at this point… how on earth did you become so controlling. My oldest is 18 and I’m not stopping him from doing 18yo stuff… you sound a little lonely or crazy
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I never asked my parents to stay at someone’s house at 21 years old, just saying maybe you should trust her more and stop being so controlling 
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Cut the cord she’s 21
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I can’t get over the amount of people who think it’s okay to tell this girl she can’t stay somewhere just because she lives with her parents still. If it was the guy staying there, I get that, but it isn’t. Is she going to tell her what kind she can she can’t get too and what car she can and can’t drive, who she can marry??
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Adult is the key words here. She is a Adult and should be able to make her own decisions. This isn’t your house it’s happening at. By doing what your doing she will be wild as hell when she does move out. Ffs she isn’t you and got knocked up as a teen she is a ADULT. Also having a collage education means shit in this day and age.
Your house your rules !!! I don’t care how old we are parents are parents. Just because people are making it ok it isn’t ! It’s disrespectful to parents in my personal opinion. Yeah she may pull away but hey that’s on her if she wants to ruin her relationship with her mom over something so small. I think age doesn’t matter and a parent never stops being a parent therefore they will always (most parents) want what’s best for us and this advice isn’t bad. A week is too soon!
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She’s 21…the minute she’s 18 she’s legally an adult. Don’t treat her like a child…not going to get you far with your relationship with her
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She’s 21! My 21 year old son lives across the country and came home to visit me with his girlfriend. I let them stay at my house. She is not a little kid anymore.
Soon as i turned 18 i didnt have to ask to do anything at all. But out of respect i would like my mom know what im doing but other than that the only thing id ask was if my boyfriend could stay at her house with me and she always said yes. Sounds controlling and over bearing. I get asking him to stay at your place but she doesnt need to ask to stay at his. If youre worried about them having sex shes 21 and hes 19 both adults and can literally go have sex wherever they please🤣 be happy that she respects you so much that she asks your permission maybe have the same respect and trust for her in return
I had my own baby, house & car when I was 19. Lmfao you’re whack.
She’s 21… if she ants to make that decision , you should let her
She is 21 not 12 
Im honestly surprised she asked. I would have just not came home that night.
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I was 22 spending the night at my boyfriends house and I didn’t dare ask permission from my grandparents I was grown, I had my own car, job, and I bought my own groceries and everything else therefore I make my own decision. Just because she lives with you doesnt mean you choose how she lives. Plus I moved out shortly after because I got tired of hearing their mouth about it
Have you not had a open and honest talk about sex with her? Is she on birth control? Does she have her own stash of condoms and an emergency pack of plan b in her closet? She’s an adult and she’s going to make whoopie Darlin’ whether she’s in your house or not. She’s an adult. Let it go just make sure she’s fully safe.
My mom let me when I was 16
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Lady cut the cord she’s 21
She needs room to make her own choices and experiences and mistakes!
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She’s freaking 21 18 my kid can sleep at her dudes house pop the tatty put her mouth
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See what she does, it’s her life not yours. I respect your rules under your roof but she is 21. She asked out of kindness and love, if you keep her from doing things…experiencing things, she will go behind your back and do them. It’s better to let her live, your bond will grow stronger that way. Support her emotionally
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A week is not a good look to be spending the night over his house which is still with his parents . I so agree with how you feel. She’s 21 so it’s more her being courteous at this point. I would be like if you asking for advice? I think its a bad look honestly and try explaining why. 
also you can tell she’s a good kid If she’s asking you. I don’t think I ever ask my mom something at 21 and I still lived at home at that age. Wait no I did ask her once to make me something to eat and she replied with your 21 now I’m sure you can feed yourself.
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