She’s an adult. Time to let go.
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Shes 21. Shes past legal grown age. She should not have to ask to do this
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I allow my 18 yr old & yes she asks for permission, she lives under my roof but she also help sit my younger children, works & helps w bills, has her own car & driver license. She’s mature & I trust my daughter 
as long as she’s safe I’m happy!
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I’m so glad I never had a mom like this.
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I think its called respect. Stand your ground. I’m 61 wish I would’ve had a mom looking out for me like you do your daughter. 
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She should be on birth control .
That’s all I can add.
Your 21 year old still ask for your permission to go places? Sounds just a tad toxic.
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She’s going to resent you if you keep treating her like she’s 16. She is literally an adult. 
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She wants to be treated as an adult tell her to get her own place or start paying some rent. I also believe it’s weird to stay the night with someone who still lives with their parents plus the short span of the relationship. Although I am shocked she asked you to stay the night over there, most women will just do it.
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Until she is floating her own boat financially, she is not an adult.
It’s your house, and your choice.
Just have no illusions - just because you say no doesn’t mean nothing is happening.
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They are both adults. If you don’t allow in your home they can go to a motel.
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Agree with you. You get Ve it away, you can’t get it back Save it for a committed relationship
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…um wow… bro shes 21… shes not a child anymore…
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You should not tell her at this point what she can and can’t do. Respect her decisions as an adult. I know you’re right, a week is too soon but she has to figure that out on her own now. I also think it’s time for her to contribute to bills since she’s am adult and wants to be.
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I think you need to interfere less in your adult daughters life.
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Im on the fence with this lol im glad my kids are still young. Like i get the whole still living at home so your house your rules but because shes 21 she should have some responsibilities and know from right and wrong and how to be safe when being intimate. Personally i would allowe it only in separate rooms. There is nothing wrong with having a sleep over but when its time to sleep maybe have them in separate rooms for now until either your more comfortable with the situation or they find their own place 
but like i said its your house your rules she just has to respect that.
She’s an adult…. It’s not up to you. Tf?
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Like you said on this post. She’s an adult. Lol
she can do whatever she wants without asking you and yet she continues to ask you. you should be grateful she cares about you at all with how you treat her.
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you’re literally just projecting your insecurities onto your daughter assuming she’s gonna fuck up her life just like you did so now you’re not even allowing her to live!!! she’s been an adult for 3 years. move on she’s not a child that needs constant supervision, she can make an informed decision about her life choices without mom telling her it’s not allowed. mom sounds like an absolute nut case that needs to micromanage her children to feel better about her own life choices. this is so wrong on so many levels
In all honesty she is 21 but she also does live in your house. Do you trust her to make good decisions is one thing and have you met the boyfriend too? Everything is about trust but she’s also not asking if he could stay the night at your house with him, she could have lied about who she was staying with but she chose honesty. You just need to trust her and maybe sit down and talk to her about this and maybe meet the boyfriend too but also let go just a little.
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I can see you not wanting him to stay the night at your house because, it’s your house and you can say no to whoever you want from entering your house but she’s an adult, if she wants to go to someone else’s house that is allowing her to enter, you shouldn’t have a say.
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Her life, her rules. She’s an adult. However, your house your rules. So you don’t have to allow any “sleepovers ” at your house.
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She’s completely grown and can do as she pleases. Time to let go
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Calm down mommy dearest !! You sound like an overbearing psycho. Shes 21 and doesnt need your permission be lucky she has enough respect or fear of you to ask. You telling her no is pointless but from what i gather from your post is you have serious control issues.get shes an adult so its time you starting treating her as an equal and not a child.
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She don’t have to ask you permission to go anywhere. She did it out of respect. You need to let go cause she’s not a child. She is an adult
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Hey she asked! She could just go ahead if she wanted to.
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Even if they dont spend the night together, they are adults. Sooner or later, it will happen. The only thing you can do is tell her to please be safe and protect herself.
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Ok because I have been in this situation here is my take…NO. if you want him to spend the night get your own place or get a hotel. It’s just a little thing called respect. I personally do not want to sit across the breakfast table knowing what they were doing. My daughter didn’t like it but bottom line, this is my house and you don’t contribute anything to it. So uh NO.
I agree, as long as they are under my roof, no girlfriends.or boyfriends will be staying the night, it’s not okay!
She shouldn’t even ask you to stay the night somewhere else. She’s 21. And honestly what’s stopping her from just lying and say she’s sleeping at a friend’s house. If she asked for him to stay at your house that’s obviously your call. But she’s a damn adult and should be treated as one.
I’d have to say she’s a 21 yr old adult.
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I am almost in the same boat with my son. He is 20 and said he was going to stay the night at a girl’s apartment (he says they date but are not serious and he hasn’t even kissed her) mainly because they were going out one night and then he was taking her to an early church service the next day. His dad and I discussed it and then talked to him about it. He says that he would just be on her couch, nothing more. We sat down and discussed it with him and told him that it wouldn’t even be a problem with us if they did have sex, as long as they were careful and used prophylaxis. He was very honest with us and we were with him during our conversation. He likes this girl very much but she has told him just friends and dating as they are both young and in college and working. Now if the roles were reversed and they were planning on sleeping in the same bed at our house or her parents’ home, probably not a good good idea because there are younger siblings in each home and we are having a hard enough time trying to get our 14 daughter to understand that she can’t date until she is 16 unless it is an adult chaperoned group date.
I have a adult daughter who lives at home. She would never ask because she knows and respects my feelings on this. I make no demands other than respect, if you can’t do that. I’ll call the moving company for her.
She’s 21 and you still treat her like she’s 16? Oh yeah. This won’t go over well. 
I moved away from home at 18 and I met my fiancé. He was 21 and I was 18. 6 years later we are still together with 3 kids.
She will just do what she wants anyway.
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U need to let her live or she will just do it and say she is staying at a girlfriends house next time and if u teach her to use protection and mabe talk to her about this thing called the birth control pill I should be ok
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Ummm she’s 21…the fact that she feels like she even needs to ask permission to go anywhere is concerning to me! I could kinda see if it was a request for him to stay at your house (your house, your rules) but seriously…you can’t and shouldn’t control where and when she goes anywhere.
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If she’s 21 and still has to ask that’s just crazy she’s an adult and shouldn’t have to ask to go anywhere
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She’s grown, since she’s living in your house i understand letting you know where she’s going so you’ll know where she is incase anything happens, but she definitely shouldn’t need permission, and if you don’t trust her you could end up losing the relationship you have with your daughter.
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When I was 16, my parents let my boyfriend move into our spare bedroom, but that was because his family was psycho and his sister threatened to kill him with a pair of kitchen scissors.
But the only time he was allowed to stay in my room was after I had throat surgery so someone was with me while asleep so I didn’t rip the stitches out…
But we were respectful being in my parents’ house.
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Wait your daughter is almost 21 and asked YOU permission if she could spend the night at her boyfriends house and you said no 
Well that’s controlling behavior she isn’t a child anymore and if you keep treating her like one she’s gonna resent you!
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Wait what? Is this like real? I was 17 when I had my first sleep over at a boyfriend’s house but I was a senior in high-school and had a job and fairly responsible. Your daughter is 21? Mama it’s time to set that little birdy free or risk damaging your relationship with her.
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You don’t have a say now. She’s 21 let your daughter live her life
If you don’t want her to get pregnant, have that conversation with her and make sure that she has access to birth control. Not only is she an adult, she’s 21 and you’re treating her like she’s 15.
She was being considerate by asking for your permission, she doesn’t need it regardless where she lives or how much rent she pays.
Idk your daughter personally, but you could very well be risking your relationship with her by treating her like a literal child when she is an adult.
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She is an adult and you should respect that she asked. I agree a week is too soon. Maybe tell her to wait a bit and then decide? Because you never know what could end up happening.
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She is an adult. The more you control the more she will do. Have faith in your parenting and your daughter. One night with a boy wont necessarily mean pregnancy (not saying it couldnt). Helicopter parenting is for toddlers. At what age do you believe that all those years raising her will allow her to have her freedom? Set boundaries. No men in your house is ok. That’s your boundary. But living her life now, is hers.
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The lack of trust from you as her mother is astounding. You may have been a teen mother but if you don’t trust your daughter to make her own decisions at this age then you failed as a parent. because you didn’t parent her you isolated her and you controlled her and you’ve never let go and let her develop as their own person. One day she’s going to open her eyes and realize exactly what you’ve done and she’s going to fly away and never come home you’ll never see or hear from her again.
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Shouldn’t you discuss this fully and openly with her on exactly how you feel that way she knows your worries and fears and can for her opinion of how she can make you feel at ease
Why in the freakin , wrong turn , steel magnolian hell , would she even ask you ? She should have just TOLD , not asked ,you ,that she was going to stay at a friends house . That’s where your free roof , used as a way to control your adult child , by the way, dosent count . Man , you are controlling . I have three daughters , I raised them right , that’s where it ends . No way would I want to know a damn thing about her adult , grown ass woman , relationships . Get a fuckin grip lady .
Shes not a teen she’s an adult she’s 21, she should be able to without asking. She should just be able to let you know. That’s crazy.
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Make sure she has an IUD and condoms. Realize that of that if they want to hook up, they’re gonna. Don’t you remember being a teenager?
She doesn’t need a college degree to be successful. Many people have babies in their early 20s. You are being way to controlling and honestly she didn’t even need to ask your permission!
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If she wants to play house then let her get her own place. Yes, she is 21 but he is only 19 and they both live at home. Besides she just met this boy, why would she even think this is ok to sleep with someone she just met?
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This is the wrong place to ask something like this. Too many judgements here.
If you have certain beliefs as to why your against it, you should join groups that share those same beliefs.
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Your house. Your right to say no.Get a room somewhere else
Sometimes I wonder if these questions are made up because my brain literally can’t process the stupidity
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I think you’re overprotective. I was out of my parents house by 18 and married by 21. She needs to go live.
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You have every right to think its to fast. Unfortunately your daughter is an adult and can make her own choices. All you can do is say who and who cant come into your home. I would suggest trying to look at your daughter as an adult and not your child. I know it will be difficult but it will be the best for your relationship with her.
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A week is a little early but she is 21. Maybe if my mom was more like that I wouldn’t have 2 kids and 1 on the way at 21 
either way she’s going to do it though at this point, especially if she’s talking to other people about it. She needs to learn for herself 
As a teen and young adult that had the same rules and living at home and “snuck out” I think she is old enough to make her own decisions. I think she shows respect to you for even asking. And it shows that you have raised her right. She could of easily told you she was staying with jer best friend but sneak over to her boyfriends. 1 week is early in a relationship to some yes but not too all. And just because she wants to sleep over doesn’t mean they are having sex. Honestly sex can happen any time, anytime. You have to trust that she will be responsible. At the end of the day she is an adult and should be given trust. I did not have any open relationship with my mom and I wish I did. Be her friend and mom. Balance is key.
She’s an adult. I was sleeping over at my husbands house when I was 17, and he was 19. I was in school and he was working. I showed I was responsible by still getting up to go to my classes, being in contact with my mom while I was there. I would spend days there. My mom and I had an open communication about sex. She also knew that I needed the freedom to make my own choices as a teenager and even my own mistakes. My husband and I are now 30 with 3 children. I wasn’t the perfect teen, but I learned and grew from that. We have our own house, our own cars, careers, etc. I feel sorry for your daughter who still needs to live under your thumb. 
Shes an adult? Then she decides…lol
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You get to choose the standards in your home. She may be an adult legally, but she’s living in your house so you make the rules. If she wants to move out and go wild, fine. But you choose standards for your house.
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She’s 21, she doesn’t need your permission to do something outside of your home. If it’s not going on under your roof, it is no longer your business and hasn’t been for 3 years. Hopefully your controlling behavior doesn’t end up in costly therapy bills for her. Yikes.
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In your home that you pay for you can say no…but she is an adult and if she chooses to stay over her bfs house that’s her decision as an adult.
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She’s an adult. She didn’t really need your permission.
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I also agree its not ok for you to allow that.its not ok.
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You can kick her out if you don’t like how she’s choosing to live her life (personally, i don’t think it’s her best choice either but it is what it is), but, since she’s an adult, you have no say in how she chooses to live her life when she’s not physically under your roof. And since she told you and you reacted this way, she’ll probably keep things a little more secret from now on.
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Tell me that you’re a fundamentalist Christian who has control issues without telling me you’re a fundamentalist Christian that has control issues you said you don’t expect her to pay bills but you have no problem spending her money when she gives it to you I really hope she parlays the money that she’s giving you and to getting her own place.
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She’s an adult. You really don’t have a say in what she does outside of your home. If she asked you if he could stay over, that would be different.
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She’s an adult and so is he. What you don’t allow in your home is not the same for others and if sex is going to happen, it’s going to happen. Hopefully they both know to use protection and birth control but you can’t control your adult children. I had to move back into my parents as a young adult after a bad divorce, I was an adult and wasn’t told yes, no or where I could or couldn’t go because I wasn’t a child anymore.
You have to let your grown kids learn from their mistakes even if you don’t like it, you can tell them your concerns but as adults, it’s not your say. I got married at 19, horrible mistake, very scary situation and divorced by 23. I wish I wouldn’t had gone through it, my parents wish they could have stopped me but when I got married, I snuck and did it knowing they would try to talk me out of it so even if they knew and tried to stop me, I am pretty certain I would have done it anyway at the time. Just a thought.
She is adult you don’t get to choose for her. Get over it.
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She is an adult. And u need to trust your daughter and stop babying her in my opinion. Let her live her life.
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the fact that she is even asking shows she does have respect for you. Might be time for you to respect her and her decisions. Not use the fact you share the same home with her give you the right to control her life. Helping her save money and helping her live her life are two different things.
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She’s an adult. If it’s not happening in YOUR home you don’t get a say in the matter.
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If she doesnt do it under ur roof sheel do it elsewhere…probaly
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The girls gonna get some cock, whether you like it or not!! You also assume that she’s as dumb as you were. Better at home in her bed, than up an alley like a tramp.
She’s 21…. If she asked if he could stay it would be a different ball game.
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My parents didn’t allow me to have any men stay the night with me at their house until after we were married.
Their house, their rules.
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Damn! Cut the cord already, Mom. Shes an adult. She can’t do as she pleases. I think your daughter was being respectful to for asking but she’s an adult. Get over yourself and stop being a hovering hoover. I have two adult children and 1 teen. Our oldest lives with us as he is going to college hes the same age as you kid. He can have over whomever he wants and if they sleep over so what. They are consenting adults. Key words here consenting adults. Its ok to voice your opinions but not to dictate her life. She will just end up resenting you in the end. Get over yourself and let your daughter be an adult and make her own decisions.
Are all these people in here saying she’s an adult and you need to let her do what she wants to do and all this you’re not going to be the ones helping her raise a baby on her own if something like that was to happen she is still living in this woman’s house obviously not ready to take care of a baby on her own. So she can make the rules as she sees fit.
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If you’re going to publically post it on Facebook, then I think you mentally probably already have your answer. I think you’re being stupid. You now have people on here lashing out at your daughter. Was that the point you were trying to make? Your daughter is awful for wanting some sort of attention? You’re awful. For making a post she couldn’t defend herself in. If you have such an issue with it, then go ahead and make her move out. If you think you raised your daughter right, then trust your own process. She’s 21, and she’s going to have to learn. You’re really going to stop her from finding her own wings? How will she learn? I just unfollowed this page because 90% of everything y’all post is absolute nonsense, and I couldn’t be more happy.
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She isn’t a teen, SHE IS 21!!! Old enough to go drink. She is an adult, and you should treat her as such. Just because she lives in the house that doesn’t mean you own her. If your truly concerned talk to the boyfriend’s parents.
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At that age I lied to my mom bc I felt she would do the same. Let her stay where she wants so she doesn’t lie.
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Only dating a week is a little to soon but how long have they known each other.
You have the right to say no in your home, but if she wants to go to his house she has that right
Give me your daughters number and I’ll tell her she don’t need your permission 
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She’s an adult. You need to treat her as such and she needs to act as such. Why would a 21 yr old ask permission in the first place? My daughter is 20. She lives at home. When shes going to be late getting home or staying the night out, she shoots me a text to let me know. Not ask permission. Y’all both need to reassess your roles in each other’s lives now that you are both adults. She’s respecting your views in such that she asked to stay with him not vice versa. I get the fear of her becoming a mother at a young age, because you were. But she’s not you. And if you keep smothering her, your going to lose her.
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My parents would have said absolutely not and to be honest I would have felt weird about it. Especially if I was 21 and paid no bills… that’s kind of crazy in itself to be honest, I couldn’t wait to get out of my parents house 
Is she on birth control?
My parents never allowed it and it does not look good and only dating the guy for week I would stick to no she does not even know him I would tell her if this is the stuff she is wanting to do you do not approve of it yes she is 21 but she does not know the guy it’s too soon she needs to get her own place .
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She is an adult. You need to respect that and treat her as such. Otherwise, when she does move out, you may lose her.
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I agreed with you right up until you said “she’s still too young to get pregnant especially since she’s still living at home and working as a waitress with no college education”.
First off, 21 is absolutely NOT too young.
But my focus is the rest of that sentence, where you demean your daughter and make her feel stupid and worthless just because you are judgemental of her work and think college is mandatory.
I am raising my daughter (13) alone, and I hope I never fail her enough to make her think her own father believes her to be a loser.
If you don’t trust her, that’s on you. It was your job to teach her. If you didn’t do that, it is YOUR failure, not hers.
I hope she realizes she isn’t the loser and gets away from her toxic mother before it interferes with her being able to have a family of her own.
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Maybe make her pay room and board? Establish ‘rules’ or expectations that you both agree to. You can’t control what she does outside of the house, but maybe talk to her about your thoughts and concerns in a calm mature way, encourage her to make mature / safe decisions (whatever they may be) and trust that she will be ok.
Allow her she is 21. The only thing you can control is if she wanted him to sleep at your house 
What she does when she leaves is her business. Be thankful she told you she wanted to spend the night .
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You yourself admit she is a grown adult so you need to accept she can make her own choices. At 21 I was raising a 1 yr old again not a child but I was an adult. Personally I would think you would prefer him stay over night at your house rather than her go to his own apartment where it would be him and her only
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Omg shes an adult let your daughter get laid jesus almighty
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Your house, your rules. Your feelings are valid. Don’t change them. They can go elsewhere.
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If she is really grown up she will have her own apartment. My house. Abide by my rules or leave.
Sounds like you need to really start giving her adult responsibilities, like paying rent and other bills. She isn’t learning any adult responsibilities right now sounds like and she will not learn how to take care of herself or how to make smart choices. She is an adult. Is kinda weird she felt she had to ask permission to do something like that. I can see her telling you where she was going to be just out of respect.
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