Neither of them are “children” according to age. I would take the opportunity to discuss your struggles as a teen mom, the importance of safe sex, how sex changes a relationships dynamic, ask why she feels like she wants to stay the night with the guy. What are her boundaries etc. I think it’s nice that she asked you, she’s old enough to just do it. Make it a conversation.
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Your roof , your rules
She’s an adult and is working. Did you stay the night with your BF/husband when you were 21? It sounds to me like you’re still treating them like children when they’re both adults. At 21 I was getting divorced with 3 kids working multiple jobs and going to college. 
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after shes married!!!
Talk to her about birth control and communicate that you’re scared she’ll end up with more responsibility than you want her to deal with. Ultimately though, to preserve that relationship, I wouldn’t tell her no. I would tell her how proud of her you are for not taking the same path that you did. Give her help and resources to prevent pregnancy and then live and let live. I was also a teenage mom, and I understand your fear, and I see that your concern is out of love. But suffocating her will only drive her further away. You did good, momma. Be proud of yourself and her.
Overbearing mom. Wonder if ur from another country cuz I’ve really only seen or heard abt this type of stuff happening over there where girls r surpressed. We get she lives in ur house but she’s not asking for him to spend the night and tbh she shouldn’t have to ask u if it’s ok for her to go out and spend the night period. She’s well over 18. Shocked she hasn’t rebelled yet. Damn
Is this a serious post 
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If she’s an adult she should respect her mother! She should move out and do what she wants. If she isnt paying rent, she should rent a motel!
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It’s your home,your rules.
Well if they dont stay under ur roof theres plenty of travel lodges and premier inns about and u can look forward to havin a grandkid in 9 months 
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Your daughter does not need your permission to do anything. In fact, I think your daughter should move out and get a place of her own if she feels it necessary to ask you for permission to sleep at her boyfriends. The fact that you really believe she needs to ask permission is what’s really inappropriate here.
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She doesnt have to pay for YOUR mistakes!!! She is an adult, and its your choice not to let her pay bills. Let her breathe and live her own life. The way some moms control their adult children is ridiculous.
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Dang, she is gonna be moving out as soon as she can, and probly right into boyfriends!
She is an adult and should be able to spend the night with whoever she wants. I would rather my child still live at home while saving their money instead of feeling like they have to rush out because they can’t get any freedom as an adult.
I’ll never understand this mentality as a parent because it will push them right into unwanted arms And worse situations if they think they can’t trust or go to their parent.
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If that was my daughter I would feel better to lit him stay at my house then her go there or somewhere with him and something happen I would feel better
I would say 18, but I also probably could not keep myself from pointing out that having sex with someone after dating for only a week shows really poor judgement and has significant risks.
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She’s 21 what would u do if she moved out?? Tell her she can’t??
She is young yes, but I was 19 and pregnant and lived with my mum. My mum and dad let me have my parent stay and had no problem with it but it gave me a wake up call … I hold down a full time job and now have a five year old. Where else are you expect her to have sex?
My humble opinion…she is 21 and an adult. She seriously needs to grow up and be on her own. Mom…you need to quit enabling her!!!
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When I moved out at 20😹 otherwise I had a strict curfew
She is an adult. Let her be one.
I was 18 when I started staying overnight within the first week of my relationship. Almost 5 years later and no babies.
A sleepover does not always equal sex. More importantly, it does not always equal unprotected sex.
If you raised your children to be smart and safe, then you should trust them to make the right decisions about their own life. Controlling them is never the answer.
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It ain’t happening at my house, but can’t control what happens at someone else’s…
Could backfire and get them where they just lie to you about where they are going…
I get the whole my house my rules… but if you don’t teach them to be responsible by 18, and trust their judgement after that for when they are not at home… then you have your own issues to deal with…
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Your home, your rules. If she doesnt like or agree with them, she is old enough to get her own place
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She is 21. If she is going to have sex with him that is her business only. Once she turns 16, it is her choice alone. She has to live with whatever consequences though.
Butvits ur house u gotta trust him b4 Letting him in to spend the nite get to know him
What? She’s an adult lol. I had my oldest son at almost 21 and got married after I turned 21. Kinda young for all that but shit I was an adult.
maybe not at your house but uh… nothing is stopping your grown adult daughter from renting a motel room and doing it there. Please tell me you taught her about contraceptives… and safe sex. And being responsible.
She sounds responsible enough to make a decision like that. In my opinion, I would agree to saying no if she wanted him to stay there. But her staying at his place should be her choice and out of respect tell you that she’s going there for the night that way you don’t wake up worried she didn’t come home
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She’s 21 she didn’t have to ask you for s***, she loves you n about your opinion. Let that girl have experiences just remind her about protection. She can have experiences and still be a strong confident woman that you want to be. Trust me she will share everything with you if you let her be this woman.
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A week is to fast
I would understand if they been together longer
And if you are so worried about her having baby early then explain that you don’t think she’s ready to have children .
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Shes 20… shes not jobless and mooching… Also coming from someone who started dating their bf when they were 15. Didnt move out till 18. It really sucked not being able to have a night to watch movies together, i guess in their case they cant even have a drink together and drive home.i personally would consider it. We spent a lot of late nights in the park in a parking lot or at tim hortons… would have been a lot nicer to hang out at a house…
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You said it in the first sentence… She is an adult. Time to cut the cord and let her be an adult. Its nice she asked u tho… I’d have suggested he came to our house vs saying no… My daughter had bf’s sleeping over at 17 yrs old. He always came to our house… She moved out of her dads house and into mine. She was with her bf (inschool bf) for almost a yr already. So he was always allowed over cause of distance and he was super respectable. They always were in their beds by 11. And never in her room alone.
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Not only after a,week of dating. Have the guy over for lunch… check him out. A week.is too soon anyway for being physical…
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I’m 27. Grew up in a Hispanic household. My parents didn’t allow me to sleep over or even get home past 1am, even after my 20s, not even if I’d be texting them every 30 minutes. It was very tiring, I had my job, went to college, graduated college and they never stopped being so strict. It got to the point where I’d just wanted to move out so desperately, and I did. I’d say just give her the space, she’s trying to communicate and remain truthful to you already. Something I couldn’t really do with my parents bc I was always scared.
And to those who say she’s not being treated as an adult so she won’t learn to be one bc she’s not paying bills… uhhh I grew up just fine, I have my own place, own bills, my career job, let her be YOUNG if she’s got the chance by having supportive parents already.
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I’m almost 19 (December) and I. Just recently had my 19 year old boyfriend stay at my house. My dad was really against it but got to know him. He trusted me so he allowed it. I was respectful and helping still the whole time he was here (my dad liked him so much he allowed him to stay 3 weeks) we have a lot of people in our house so I give them 100-250 every check I get (they don’t ask for it) but my boyfriend also helped me clean our house take trash out etc. it’s all about trust. She’ll rebel on you if you continue to treat her like a kid. You just gotta trust sometimes
I told my daughter that when she got a bf and felt “ready” to move forward in that relationship to let me know so I could take her to doc for birth control pills. Which she did at 19, and is now 22 and living with same guy and no babies yet as she is not ready.
If she’s over 19 you don’t have a say, just be a supportive parent or she’ll do what she wants behind your back 
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Let it go. She’s 21.
You don’t “allow” your adult daughter to do anything. She tells you she’s doing something, you may voice your concerns, and she makes her own choices. I don’t care if she lives in your home or not. If you don’t like what she’s doing in your home, don’t let her live there anymore. If you don’t like the decisions she’s making, don’t let her live there anymore. But you don’t get to decide what she is and isn’t going to do anymore.
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“My adult daughter” end of discussion.
It’s time to cut the cord, mother. You don’t control her life anymore.
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I mean she’s 21, she works pays for her own stuff and obviously respects you. Idk that I personally would stay at a guys house only a week into it but she IS an adult. And ultimately you need to support her and let her make her own decisions and mistakes. Guarding her will only set her up for failure. I moved out when I was 14, I made a lot of mistakes although I was a pretty good teen and pretty responsible I didn’t do drugs or anything like that but I got with a guy that was just trouble. BUT without my experiences I wouldn’t be the responsible woman I am today. I wouldn’t be where I am in life at all. I had a kid at 18 (by said guy) was a single parent for 2 years then met my now husband and we now have a almost 3 year old and one on the way plus my little girl who is almost 6. We have built a life together we work hard for all of the things we have and to be able to allow our kids to have the best life and the things they need want plus some we pay our own bills don’t ever ask for help unless we absolutely have to then we pay it back. But anyways I don’t feel you should still be treating her like a child. And it will only push her away I promise.
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She’s an adult, she’s not a child anymore
Well I don’t think a 21 yr old should have to ask to spend the night anywhere. Nor should she have to tell you exactly where she is going. Only if she will be home that night or not. It is your house so you a right to say whether or not the boy comes to your home. But should you get to tell her where she is allowed to go? No. You have to let her be an adult and make her own choices. Even if they aren’t the choices you would make. She isn’t you.
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You have no right to tell her what she can or cannot do with her body or her life. Back off and get back in your lane as a parent, not a master.
It is your house which means your rules but realize she’s an adult. You treat her like an adult, not a child, and give her the respect you’d give others. You don’t get to make decisions for her anymore.
I hope she moves out and gets her independence and freedom, and you get to sit back and parent the way you’re supposed to to your adult child.
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Based on how responsible she’s seems I would have allowed it. You trust her. You’re just putting your life experience on to her and I don’t believe that’s fair to her.
I would sit down with her and really have a talk about being safe and just making her aware of the things that could happen that she may not be aware of if there are any. Give her a chance.
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We never did because we had younger kids and made it a rule for the the oldest so they knew the rules as they grew up. I’m sorry but a whole week isn’t a relationship they can go get a hotel room.
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She will do what she wants anyway behind your back and will only start resenting you. In your words she is an adult.maybe even try getting you Nat king Cole
I wouldn’t care as long as they’re being respectful of the others in the house. I trust my daughter to make the best choices for herself.
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I’m 22 and my mom never controlled my life after 18, me and my fiance have lived with my mother, in the early part of the relationship when I was 20 me and him lived with my father, now me and him are living at his mother, point is, she’s an adult, if you don’t allow him to stay the night in your home, she should at least be able to go to her boyfriends home to stay the night whether you like it or not
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My parents didn’t unless it was for a special reason (i.e., leaving for a flight at 3am) or a holiday like Christmas.
Shes 21 she shouldnt hafta ask ur permission even if she does live under ur roof. I mean u can say no to him stayn at ur house but as far as her stayn at his is none of ur business
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You don’t have a say she is 21… wth…
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This is a joke, right?
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She is 21 and an adult. She should be doing her own. I don’t see how this a discussion. If she doesn’t like the rules she can leave. Nobody tells me what my rules are in my house. If anyone doesn’t like em boohoo move.
Lmao. “Let” good luck never having a relationship with her once she moves out. You’re super toxic.
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She is 21 so she’s a adult. She has freedom to do what she wants. Maybe meet the guy and his parents.
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I’m surprised she even asked at that age, makes me think she is scared of you. My ex stayed the night at my parent’s house when I was 18. The day I turned 18 I started staying out with my boyfriend on weekends even though they didn’t like it. She works and respected you enough to ask and if his family is fine with it, you really have no say. You only have the say of who stays at your house.
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I was treated like this even as an adult. You are causing her mental problems in the long run I’m sorry to say. Let the woman act her age and back off. It’s best for everyone. Trust that you taught her the right thing and she will be closer to you in the end. Expect her to behave like a nun and you will lose her.
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I can’t believe you are saying this Mother “does not have the right”. Thats ridiculous! If the daughter is so grown up, let her get her own place and then bring home a 19 year old boy. Her Mother has every right to say what goes on in her house…this girl needs to get a decent job and move out.
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She’s an adult ! Omg ridiculous
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SHE’S. AN. ADULT. Sounds like you have a little growing to do.
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You sound so dumb. She’s an adult. And honestly, using your “roof” as a control method is just really shitty. She’s grown. Instead of trying to control her choices, you should listen to her & educate her about sex/pregnancy. YOU getting pregnant as a teen & having regrets HAS NOTHING to do with her wanting to spend the night with a boy as an ADULT. If you’re so uneasy about young pregnancy, should’ve spent time educating & relationship/trust building with her instead of trying to enforce stupid rules because your scared she’ll repeat what YOU did. Which is already impossible - she’s 21, you were a kid. If she wants to have sex with that man, she will & you know what - she SHOULD.
Parents like you are baffling.
She deserves to live her life.
Shes an adult. I’d your house rule is no guy staying over, it’s your house and your call. But telling her she can’t go out is ridiculously controlling of you at this age. I pay for your roof so I own you.
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Guess I’m old school. My house, my rules
She’s an adult but if you don’t want to allow her to be free then make her leave
21 and asking for permission to go somewhere, you’d have me fucked up I understand not having anyone under YOUR roof, but byeeeee with all that. I’d of been gone at 18
Your house, your rules!
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He’s going to hammer her ham wallet either way. Might aswell be in her room
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In my opinion, she’s almost 21 so even though she lives in your house I feel like she should not need your permission on where she can and cannot stay the night. BUT, if she asked if he could stay the night at YOUR house I would definitely say that it would be your decision since it was your house. It’s your house so you decide who gets to stay the night and who don’t. But if she is staying at his parents house then that would be his parents decision on whether she can stay or not.
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It her mom house. It about respect at end of day.
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Your house your rules. She’s old enough to move out
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You have absolutely no say in what she dose, I don’t understand why she’s even asking permission. My son will be 18 this December and I told him he still has do the same chores he’s always done but he can come and go as he pleases without my permission because he will be a ADULT. And adults don’t need permission. Yes it’s probably too soon to spend the night, but with the way your acting she’s probably been dating him for months without telling you because your extremely controlling.
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Keyword… adult … daughter… my oldest is 22 & stays at her bf house on her nights off & my 20 up stays with hers on the weekends she doesn’t work…
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You’re old fashioned for sure she’s an adult you have absolutely no say 
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She’s an adult, she can stay wherever she wants and you have no say. Be grateful she even asked your permission, which she doesn’t need. The only thing you can dictate is him staying at your house.
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She is an adult and if you don’t bend you might break your relationship
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Respect your mamas house and move out. Or she should be smart and go get a room for the night.
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I gotta be honest with yah here. There are women who’s parents did not want me to have such a relationship with them. Now I am buying a house by myself and they are trying to hook us up. I’m not interested anymore. Yes proceed with caution but now you are pretty much going to make her understand that she has to do this with him somewhere else and probably somewhere that is much less safer.
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Your house your rules, their house their rules.
Stop and think about it. Are they being safe?
They will have sex anywhere. Car hotel park
All you can do is talk to her about being safe and take precautions.
She is 21 and if she gets pregnant they have to work it out.
I’m 19 living in my mom’s house, I still abide by rules as anyone would have too living at someone’s house. My mom allows me to sleepover at my boyfriend’s house (he lives with his parents still and he’s 20) occasionally, I still have to ask if I can go sleepover as she has work and things going on in her life that may work better if I was home versus out. Your daughter is 21 and dating a 19 year old, and has only been doing so for a week. If that’s the kind of thing she wants to do, then that’s what she wants to do. She shouldn’t have to ask anymore at her age, she should just let you know where she is going to be.
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That’s not weird. If she wants sleepovers with a boy then she should get her own place.
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Doesn’t mean she’ll get pregnant…allow him to stay only if he agrees to put in her fart box? 
Atleast if he stays you know it’s just one guy and she’s not getting passed about like a prison porno
She’s 21 years old … that girl is gonna hate you here soon and you’ll only have yourself to blame …
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She is 21! Time to let go lady
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She’s an adult. She doesn’t NEED your permission. She probably asked out of respect and consideration, but, she can do a she pleases at her age. I would have just informed my mother where I was going to be so she would know where I was and who I was with. I would NOT have asked at 21. I moved out at 18 tho.
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My 21 yr old spends the night at her boyfriends and he has spent the weekend with us. As a matter of fact he is staying with her this weekend at her dorm.
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She is an adult and to be honest you have raised an amazing daughter if she is asking you about spending the night. She is doing this out of respect of your home and so you know where she is and to open that communication in her private life so Good job mom!! You but in the same, she is an adult and you should let her guide her life and make her own decisions (especially when it comes to relationships). Still be her sounding board and safe place but she is an adult.
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The fact that a 21 year old is asking her parents permission to do things is a little outta pocket . She’s an adult.
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She don’t want her daughter fucking in her house. That’s it That’s all. Its called Respect. Carry on people. 
I have seven daughters who are all out of the house now and I had the same rule. They have no respect for anybody when they do this. They want to do it that bad the BF can pay for hotel room.
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You have every right to say he can’t stay at your home but she is an adult and you can’t tell her she can’t stay at his parents house because that’s for them to say. I understand you don’t want her to make the same mistakes but she is not you and maybe she will be responsible.
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If I was you id be making sure she was on birth control than telling her no cause if they want to do it they will weather you let them stay in your house or not. Like you say she’s not a child anymore so I don’t see what the issue is with her wanting her bf to stay over.
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Tell her no sex unless on the pill and condoms make rules/boundaries for her to follow no matter where she is at.
If you want her to move out, tell her no. If you want her to stay living with u, u may need to give in to this one and hope you raised her the way u hoped and if she has sex, has safe sex.
I miss read. Wouldn’t allow at my house but they were told that if they were going to stay at someone else home for the night to just let me know with who and where in case there is trouble. Just not my home.
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Shes almost 21. Shes old enough to make her own decisions
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Your daughter is right. She’s 21 and if you taught her properly, she should know how to protect herself from unwanted pregnancies. Sometimes you need to let go, trust your daughter, and move on. From experience, my mother did this same thing with me and I always rebelled back. Due to her extreme control over me my whole life we currently have issues still to work through (and I’m 30 btw). Trust me, your bond will be better if you let her do her thing.
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You stop having the right to “let them” do anything when they become and adult.
She’s 21? Hun, if you still NEED to make her decisions for her, you may have missed the point of “parenting” while she was growing up. You were supposed to raise her to be able to make decisions for herself as an adult. Sounds like you never taught her how to, if she legitimately allows you to make decisions for her at 21.
My mom was pretty strict on me growing up, but once I was 18, my life was my own. Didn’t matter if she agreed with my decisions or not, they were mine to make.
At 21, who she is or isn’t dating, whether she does or doesn’t have sex with someone, or if she should or shouldn’t spend the night with someone is literally NONE of your business. She is an adult and it is her life. Butt the hell out and mind your own business!
My boyfriend and I were living with my parents, we moved out 2 years into us being together, were now engaged, with 2 healthy and happy boys. I was 19 he was 21 when we started dating. Honestly id rather my kids be at my house where I know its safe then them be somewhere I don’t know, if she’s been taught about protection and when to say no their shouldn’t be any issues
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She’s 21, an adult. Treat her like one🤦♀️
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She’s an adult.
She won’t be a teenage mom…she’s an ADULT.
You can say he can’t spend the night in your house, but you can’t keep her from spending the night at his house, because- say it with me- SHE’S AN ADULT!
What this sounds like is you want to keep her from happiness. You’re going to break your relationship and she’s going to cut you off if you keep up your crap. You’ll have no one to blame but yourself.
And I will say that if they really want to do it, they’ll find a way. But the way they find may not be safe.
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