Your house, your rules. You can control what goes on in your own home (for the most part) but you can’t stop her from going over there and doing what she wants. I strongly agree in protecting our children as much as we can and for as long as we can but we as parents (no matter how much we “know” what’s better for them) can’t force them to do anything (if they’re adults) & can only give advice, support & love at this point
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Your daughter could get pregnant in the backseat or front seat of a car. If that is the only reason you are worried then have the contraception talk. She is not too young.
Give her some bills and let her do what she wants good lord she’s 21, I’m dying laughing at this question her life and partners life is none of your business
I think you are projecting your fears into your daughter. She’s more than on her right to have sex and she’s probably not a virgin anymore.
Just let her be and welcome both with open arms. By prohibiting her from seeing her boyfriend, it is going to create angst and resentment towards you.
Just welcome them with open arms and open your heart to your daughter about your fears. She will understand.
My only stipulation was no one night stands in my home. Once a relationship is established, and this is someone that is long term, then it’s ok.
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Shes not a teenager so can’t go down the same path that you did anyways 
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Dude. She is 21 and clearly missed the path you took…! Give me a break. You are her parent but she has officially been an adult for 3+ years.
Get a life. 
You sound a tad bored. Maybe you should get some.
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Wow! She’s well and truly an adult and I’m surprised she asked and didn’t simply say “I’m staying at my new boyfriend’s place tonight.”
My mum was always happy for boyfriends to stay at our place as she’d rather have me safely under her roof than god only knows where. If I was going to stay anywhere for the night, be it boyfriend or friend, I always did her the courtesy of letting her know.
I might add, this was over 40 years ago. If anything, I would be politely asking if she’s sure about taking things to this next level so quickly and make sure she has plenty of condoms.
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Okay so yes it’s your house and your rules. But you have to let her grow up at somepoint. I would take comfort in the fact that she asked you. She is a grown adult, I would jist be happy knowing where she is and that she was happy to tell me. I mean the kid lives with his parents too. It’s better than him living alone in a scummy apartment. Invite him round for dinner x
It’s time for you to let her go!! She an adult not a child
You controlling your daughter like that will make her run as far away as possible when she’s able to get out….
Shit, you sound jus trike my aunt and as soon as my cousin turned 18 she went to CAMBODIA.
thousands of miles away.
And I don’t blame her. My aunt tried to control every aspect of her life.
Don’t ruin your relationship with your daughter because you can’t accept that she’s grown up
Let her off the leash!
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She’s 21, not 12, yeah she lives under your roof, but you don’t own her. You shouldn’t do that to her
This is more disturbing to read than respond.
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i stayed the night at my bfs house the first night i meet him
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She’s 21! Cut the cord. Also. I was 19 when I got pregnant and 20 when I gave birth. Guess what. I’m married and happy. Stop being so judgemental. You need to chill or she needs to move
Two years ago my 20 (at the time) and his 18 year old (at the time) spent the night at our house and hers. She is in birth control and they also wear protection. All we can do as parents is trust that we have raised responsible children. I would rather have them have relations under a roof than in a car or somewhere unsafe. He actually started spending the night with his girlfriends and then over here when in high school. My husband and I talk with the other parents to make sure their girls are protected and told them we would make sure our son would use protection too. We have to trust our children that they will make good choices as that is how we raised them. I know every parent is different and can raise their children their own way, but this is how I choose to raise mine. If they are going to do it, they will find a place to do it. During the day when you are not home, in a car, friends house, cheap hotel, etc. As a parent I would much rather it be in a safe environment. For all your strict parents done come at me! 
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My son is nearly 24 his GF is 24, they stay in our home and he stays in theres, hes grown and their extremely sensible, im not ruling his life, we were never even allowed to bring a friend home for tea as kids xx
Um…Technically She Doesn’t Even Have To Ask Permission!
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She’s an adult!!! She doesn’t need your permission to spend the night with anyone
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You don’t have a say lol you lost that privelage at 18
She wants to get some deck you can’t stop her 
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She’s an adult. Wether it’s under your roof or not she’s going to have sex somewhere 
. I ended up pregnant at 17, my boyfriend was not allowed to stay over in the same bed as me.
She’s an adult. She’s actually asked you. All I would personally do if you feel that strongly is have the safe sex chat - of which she probably knows… being 21…
Maybe perhaps, have a sit down chat, a proper adult chat about YOUR own insecurities, because this is you, not her… so she understands you more. I worry that you will just push her away. Sex is a natural thing that humans need/want, using the correct protection its highly unlikely she will get pregnant. But by you telling her no, when she’s 21, she will end up resenting you and doing her own thing anyway (which she can do now, as she is an adult!). She will probably begin not going to you for help or questions because you’re treating her like a child.
Not to mention… its a different era or whatever now. Sex is great and fun. Doesn’t mean we’re going to spend our lives with that person, just because we’ve had sex with them. It’s what humans do.
Equally… shes no longer a teenager and hasn’t got pregnant (being one of your concerns)… give her some credit.
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You would of been told to fuck off sorry like but at 21 she has her own life and she prob go more sence then you dod at 21 considering you said it yourself you was a teenage mam and to be fair bit of a hippocrit if you ask me
This can’t be real !!
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She’s an adult and doesn’t require your permission. If you taught her about her sexual health, there’s no reason to worry about pregnancy. And if the worst thing she could do is fall pregnant at almost 21, why is that a problem? Adjust your sensibilities and forgive yourself.
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You can’t let your daughter pay for your past mistakes. She’s old enough to make her own choices. I would think that you would have enough trust in how you educated her to let her make her own choices. I know it must be hard to let her “go” but we all have to do it when they get older. Good luck mommy!
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presume this not her first bf. yes week bit soon but as long as they taking precautions none of your business
Youre not serious right? SHES 21!!! SHES AN ADULT!!! get a grip 
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I prefer my son to have his girlfriend stay here than them out sneaking around and the police knocking on my door cause they got caught having sex in a public place… YOUR daughter is 21 years old she is an adult not a child!!
I wouldn’t even ask my mum if I could stay with my boyfriend at 21 that’s ridiculous I would just text her and say I was staying over my boyfriends house so she wouldn’t worry you can’t stop a 21 year old living her life weather she lives under your roof or not my advise to your daughter would be to move out
You do what you want to bad what she thinks don’t like it piss off
Yeeeeesh. Nothing else to say except for yikes and I hope your daughter moves out.
Jfc, this page gets more ridiculous by the hour.
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Shes an adult and you need to trust her. Me and my fiance were inseparable literally from the day we got together, interchanging which parents house we stayed at every night. We rarely went a night without each other. I was 19 when we got together, I’m now 27 with our first on his way and engaged to be married next year. And we live with his parents saving for a house. You need to let her go, trust that she is doing the right thing and let her work things out for herself, how else will she learn if you keep her sheltered?
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I’m shocked she even asked!
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I don’t get why she’s asking for permission at 21🤦🏻♀️
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A week is a little fast but that is the way of the world now. I never had my boyfriend stay over. However, I do allow my adult children to haver their partners to stay over. Just because they have a sleepover doesn’t mean she will get pregnant
Not in my house. She wants to get laid, get a hotel.
I must be a bad mother then because I allow my 18 year old son’s girlfriend to spend the night at my house all the time.
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Don’t be too controlling over her, she needs to live her life
Wtf why is she even asking! You literally can’t say no lmao! she’s a grown ass adult I find it crazy that she even asked!
She’s not expected to pay bills?? What?? Why not?? You don’t treat her like an adult so obviously you feel she’s not one, I’m guessing or capable of the responsibility. Make her pay bills and let her live. Let her feel the torture of responsibility like the rest. BUT your house, your rules. She has to do her playing elsewhere.
She’s an adult your lucky she asked permission at all I’m afraid you really don’t have much say in it now
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My boyfriend was staying the night when I was still at high school I was 18 though just in my last few months. She’s 21! She’s an adult! I don’t see what’s wrong with him staying? Lol. PS I’m married to that boyfriend 
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Are you for real? Immediately said no she’s 21 for gods sake
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Personally I would allow this though I wasn’t put in that situation with my girls. At almost 21 she is an adult. If it is a real issue the solution would be for her to move out. I do think you are trying to mollycoddle her too much.
SHE IS AN ADULT…she doesn’t need your permission, whether she lives with you or not…you’re delusional!
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She’s an adult she doesn’t need to ask permission. Does she know this??
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She’s an adult, she shouldn’t even have to ask permission but also, would you rather she not be safe in your house or his house than out somewhere else like a hotel or a friend’s house?
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As a Born-Again Christian, I would never give my daughter permission to spend the night with a boyfriend! She may be a grown adult, but sin is sin! My house, my rules (no matter how old she is)! That being said, if she chooses to do it behind my back, that is between her and God!
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Shes 21 . Your her mother . Not her keeper .
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That’s so weird …umm no
She’s 21 wtf I’m 21 and have my own house a child and a job give her more credit like how can you stop an ADULT staying at her boyfriends house fs
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Wtf she’s grown why is she asking you if she can stay somewhere smfh and to top it off clearly your allowing her to stay in your house free of charge just so you can dictate what she is and isn’t allowed to do at 21 years old. Only thing you have a right to tell your daughter is to help pay bills or get out and maybe who’s allowed to stay over night their since it is your house. But as far as where she decided to go and or stay the night at honestly isn’t your place to determine since she’s a adult.
Shes not a kid anymore, you can treat her like one all you want but it will ruin your relationship with her. Unfortunately for you, if she decides to have a family young, you don’t get a say. It’s her life not yours. She should know by now about safe sex, as long as the sex is protected I don’t see the issue???
At 21 she shouldn’t even have to ask. She should just be able to leave.
Your roof your rules … if she doesn’t like it than she can get her own place
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Yeah 21 is fair to old for you to be saying no to that sort of thing, in my experience if parents are way too controlling with that sort of stuff it’s leading to slow develop of dating skilling. It generally makes it quite hard for them to mature in a relationship with their parents putting boundaries like this in place. So they go through all the teenage sort of fights with their partners due to them having no relationship maturity as they haven’t been able to do it at the normal ages.
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My mom would never allow a boyfriend to sleep over at her house. Me and my husband did live with her at some point but I was already pregnant and engaged but it’s a big no from her with my younger sisters also it dosent matter how old we are her house her rules & I (we) respect that
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my momma must of been different. Rather at her home safe then out and doing it somewhere unsafe
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Can’t she get a hotel room and not creep her parents out by having sex in the next room. I don’t get this generation. Absolutely no respect or care .
I do believe on the principle of, “My house; my rules.” However, aside from the fact that she’s an adult, it won’t be at your house so I think it’s a bit ridiculous that you’re saying, “This boy does live with his parents as well and I think its crazy that they would allow this to go on under their roof.” THEIR house; their rules. You can express your opinion, and frame it as you have here: a concern that she would become a young Mom, etc., but it’s her life. She can handle whatever comes her way. Have some faith 
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Ummm 
you lost me at adult daughter
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About 17 or 18.
If they’re having sex they’re having sex. Not allowing the partner to stay the night won’t stop them having sex. I’d rather it be somewhere safe like in their own home rather than the back seat of a car or down the beach etc.
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shes 21 leave her alone
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She’s an adult, back the f off
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I think she’s 21 and if she wants to spend the night at her boyfriends house it’s really her business and not yours. My god lady loosen the reigns
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Yea no this sounds so familiar
She’s an adult …but stays with you .
Id rather my kids stayed at mine with their boy/girl friend than moved out to somewhere unsafe simply to be together .
My rules were :
No one night stands
I dont want to see him naked
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You do realize she’s going to have sex even if you don’t allow her boyfriend to spend the night right
So IF she doesn’t spend the night she won’t get pregnant? Hmmm
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They will just get a hotel or something then,make sure she’s on birth control or has condoms and be ok with your adult child doing adult things
Yeah you lost me at she’s 21… dude she an adult not a 12 yr old child… cut them apron string and don’t be controlling or a prude …
I’d prefer to know my kids are safe under my roof then somewhere else doing stuff
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Lol my thing is she is an adult and has to figure out her way. Yes we all have fears and worries when it comes to our kids but you are talking about your adult daughter. She has to make those mistakes figure out where she fits in the world and what she wants to do with her life. I think it shows a lot of respect for her to ask you if it’s okay. But I would of been like hey mom I won’t be home tonight staying with a friend. And your reply should be sounds good 
. You are no longer parenting your adult daughter if you wanted to say no about her going over to a dudes house that shit was for 17 and under age. But yes my parents were very controlling and I really couldn’t be more happier not being around them and really barely talking to them. Like back off of her life.
Lol… she’s 21. She’s not a teenager. Shes a grown woman who takes responsibility for herself and is just living under your roof. I understand you have rules but maybe give her a little rein on her leash? 
you being in fear of her being what you were will only drive her away. She’ll end up getting her own place and doing whatever the fuck she wants if you still treat her like a Child.
You can’t really say no as she didn’t ask for him to stay at your house. She’s an adult who can cone and go as she pleases
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I feel like it’s her decision to make.
It could be that the daughter is asking because she already knows mom will say no, but it gives her an excuse NOT to follow through, or she just wanted to get a reaction out of mom. I have a really open relationship with my mom, and even I didn’t ask for permission as such. I would call her (drunk, or sober) from a friends house, guy or girl, and tell her where I was, so she didn’t worry and think I was dead in a ditch.
That’s ridiculous that u still tell her what she can and can’t do when she’s 21 years old! She’s an adult stop treating her like she’s 15!
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When I was an adult having to live at home. I paid bills there. I was 25. I did what I pleased. But out of respect for my mom I let her know where I would be. And if I wasn’t coming home for the night. Your daughter is an adult. And its time you cut the cord and let her be one.
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Who do you think you are. You’re her Mother not her owner. Not even at your house. Shes an adult. Get a grip
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They could just move in together, too soon if wanting that time and sh!t could go left just off the fact of not having that time to get to know each other… just remember hotels, cars etc can also cause pregnancies 
I think you need to cut the strings and stop- she is an adult- if you trust her you wouldn’t have any issues. You must have instilled good instincts and standards in her if she has come to you to ask- you need to let her show you this
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Wow. Some people’s “problems”
This has to be a troll:joy: are you actually dumb?? I’m 23 with a child and this is just stupid
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All you can do now is tell her you hope she is safe, teach her what safe means and let her make her own choices and mistakes she will never ever learn life’s lessons if you keep guarding her from YOUR mistakes, let her make hers and be the shoulder she needs when she’s needs it.
What 21 year old asks their parents to leave the house to go overnight somewhere? I’ve honestly never heard this before. She’s 21? Have some trust and let her be 21
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Shit I had my ex of 2 years living with me at 16… and my daughters Dad living with me before I got pregnant at 18… all under my mother’s roof…and yes it was discussed with my parents before they moved in.
Shes a adult would you rather she do it under your roof where your there if she needs you or move out and she dont tell you a thing just dose it anyway. You need to learn your baby isnt a kid anymore stop treating her like 1
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If she is an adult, she should pay bills! Other wise abide by your parents. If you can’t stand on your own you obviously need help making decisions .
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Like it or not , it’s none of your business. She is an adult. Keep acting the way you are and you’ll end up pushing her away from you. I know from experience.
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I think if she’s under your roof and your paying her bills you do have a say. I see you are trying to protect her try some other alternatives like staying there later ect then easing into other things
If she wants to have sex she’s going to have sex… wouldn’t you rather she be in a safe place? Maybe talk to her about safe sex and her options with contraception etc.
Well my 19 year old is in bed currently with his girlfriend my bad seriously though where exactly are they supposed to go then i would rather them in my house where they are safe
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She’s 21 why she asking you?! She’s an adult not a child
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Let her live her life and if you don’t approve of what she’s doing then give her notice to move. Your house your rules.
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Is this real life??! Da fuq:woman_facepalming:t2:
I’m 31 my momma used too tell me her house wasn’t a brothel any female friend that came over weren’t allowed near my room that’s when I was over 18 that’s why motel rooms and hotel rooms became my second home till I got my own place at the time
I think it’s great that you just want the best for her and because you were a teen mum you don’t want the same for her. I can only imagine how I am going to feel when my two girls are at that age but she is 21 shes a woman not a little girl anymore at the end of the day it is her decision and all you can do is give her the best advice and support her.
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My son is 21 and I would never allow him to spend the night at a girls house or allow a girl to spend the night at mine. I realize that when they become adults they will begin to do adult things but I’m not going to help by providing a place to do them at!