At 21 she won’t be a teenage mum anyway 
I stayed nearly every night at my boyfriends house when I was in my twenties until we could afford to buy our own place and that boyfriend has now been my husband for 11 years so I’m pretty glad his mum let me stay over 
She’s an adult. You cannot dictate her love life anymore. Just ask that they be responsible and respectful or she needs to move out.
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Agree with u momma! Like seriously absolutly not! Is called respect to my parents house or his parents house! I would never!
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You’re fuckin crazy if you think you should get any say in an ADULTS love life. Holy shit, go adopt a kid if you want to baby someone - better yet, with the way you parent, don’t.
My eldest is 18. He has been with his girlfriend for 18 months. She regularly stays and has for a year. They’re both consenting adults. Plus I’d rather know they’re safe at home - then trying to sneak around. They show my husband, myself and our home respect - and I offer that respect back.
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if shes 20 shes an adult you dont have a say. let her be an adult and stop trying to control
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If you don’t agree with that happening under your roof, absolutely say no but if she goes else where you should just expect a courtesy of hey this is where I will be at. But look at me giving this advice when I have buried a child and 6 pregnancies. I am the worst type of helicopter mom on the planet with the 2 I got to keep. I would establish a relationship where your daughter feels comfortable telling you where she will be for safety reasons but understand she will make the decisions she wants to whether you give her permission or not. It’s all a matter of if something does happen that you are either looking for her and can’t find her or know exactly where she is and you get help to her as fast as you can. Sit down and have a discussion but remember she is an adult. I hope it works out!
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She’s having sex weather you like it or not.
This is ridiculous 
I mean she could have just lied and said she was going to a friend’s house. Give her condoms for the not repeating you life stuff. Poor kid has to hear you call her your past mistake.
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You lost me at 21. She’s an adult.
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I’m more concerned that you’re worried she’ll get pregnant… Have you talked to her about protecting herself?? Not just from pregnancy, but diseases also… This girl is grown and should be treated as such… She should be paying bills so she’ll learn to live without you doing it… Stop coddling these kids 
Teach them to be independent…
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If you think not allowing sleepovers means she’s not having sex then you’re seriously deluded. Instead of making it a taboo subject, you should be encouraging a healthy sex life that is also safe. If you feel the need talk about birth control options and such but at this point she’s an adult and what she does behind closed doors, even in your home, is none of your business. I’d back off unless you want to push her away. This is next level overbearing.
Why do you automatically think she’s going to get pregnant??? Did you not speak to your daughter about safe sex? And honestly it’s absolutely none of your business where she sleeps she’s an adult.
I was allowed to have my boyfriend over as a teenager (he even lived with us for a short time). It made me feel safe to share my personal life with my parents and ultimately made me smarter because I was having open, honest discussions without being judged. Of course, it’s personal and will change family to family but I think you should consider having him stay.
Shes 21 yrs old she dont need your freaking permission!
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She is 21 and you my dear are a landlord and a friend. Your not the boss any more. As long as she doesn’t bring him to your house out of respect of how you feel there isn’t anything you can do about it. If you do then this is where parents lose there kids over fights. Sorry but 21 and working is a blessing these days. 21 and not high or homeless with 3 kids is a blessing. Be happy and talk about birth control and be a friend. Got to trust you did your job right
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I understand you not wanting him to stay at your house but you can’t tell her where she can stay. She’s 21. If she was at college you wouldn’t be telling her where to stay.
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It’s not really your business. She’s an adult
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She’s 21 she should be able to do this, if your concern is pregnancy than get contraception and condoms for her
Once they turn 18, they can go do as they please. I’ve taught them right and wrong, but they are an adult. I make the rules in my home, but what they do anywhere else is on them. We all live and learn and they have to be able to do that as well. I like to know where they gonna be though, in case something happens. If you don’t give them room to make their own choices, how will they grow. There is no room for growth without the freedom to fall if it be their choice. Momma of 6 here with 3 children over 18, but working and being respectful still here at home. I want them to have a great start in a cold world.
Just let them fuck and be adults 
Thats ur daughters choice since she is now an adult. U got pregnant as a teenager and coming across as a bit of a hypocrite in my opinion. Let her live her life n take a step back.
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Release your daughter of your controlling grip…you cant stop every heartache
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If you don’t want him staying over at your house that’s your right but you can’t stop a grown women from spending the night anywhere she’s an adult 
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To be honest she’s an adult she Dosent have to ask u to do anything but she still did it shows she respects u, but u have no right to tell her she can’t stay over its ultimately up to her wat she does, just cuz u don’t allow it under ur roof Dosent mean other ppl shudnt allow it under there roof, and if she was to get pregnant then that’s her decision as well, u have no right to stop her from doing anything she’s not 15 she’s a fully grown adult now
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Come on sorry, it’s time to let go of the apron strings.
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She’s an adult let her be
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Do what now?? Are you trying to get roasted?? That WOMAN is 21. Get over yourself. The worst thing here? That she is letting you dictate her life still.
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I think she asked you out of respect but she can honestly do it if she wants to. She’s 21 not in high school anymore…… she wouldn’t be a teen mom either. I had my first daughter at 21.
3 month minimum for dating. I agree with you mom. Why does she wanna sleep with a boy who has no job ?
She’s 21. I can understand you saying no to him staying at your house because it’s your home so your rules but at 21 she shouldn’t have to ask to spend the night somewhere. Yes, I have an adult daughter (age 24) and once she turned 18 I never told her she wasn’t allowed to stay overnight somewhere
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She is 21, its none of your business what she does and who she does it with…
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I think that if it’s because you don’t want her having sex , if she wants to she will find a way. Trust your daughter she’s 21. Is she on birth control ? Reiterate safe sex . Also- maybe she’s just going to watch movies etc maybe she has no intentions of sleeping with him. 
ask her. Invite him to stay at your house instead. He can sleeep on the couch.
Lastly it shows a lot about her that she asked you , didn’t just do it or lie about it.
She’s 21 let her live but guide her to be safe. If she wants to have six she is an adult and can make her own decisions. Talk to her about being safe and birth Control or condoms. But If you hold her back it might have a worse outcome. Let her live her life. Trust your daughter
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Way to fast either way!
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And 21 isn’t that young of an age to get pregnant she isn’t 15. She will be ok.
Fun fact. College education isnt a garuntee for a bright future. But is a garuntee for more debt
She can make her own decisions. Shes grown she can do what she wants. Stop being a controlling person.
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Your house your rules
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I was a teen mum. Just cause u were doesnt mean she will be. Set ground rules bout his being around but dont deny her because ur worried she will make same mistakes. Trust that u’ve taught her enough if not get teaching. The lack of freedom usually pushes them to rebel and make stupid mistakes. 
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Stephen Collins-Roig omg 
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Ummmm, understandably you can say no to him staying at your house, but you have no right to not let her stay elsewhere. She’s an adult, and needs to learn to be one.
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I’m 20 my man is 20 I been living at his parents house with him for 2 years now and we been dating for 7 years and yeah I pay rent I pay electricity here we have a dog that I pay for and I don’t have a job.
You realize she is 21 years old right? Once she turns 18 she is an Adult. Honestly at the end of the day she is 21 years old and no longer needs your permission to go out for a night, think it may be time to let go, and let your daughter live her life… #sorrynotsorry
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I feel you should have a grown up conversation about your concerns and not dictate her behaviour.
Talk to her about contraception and consent, talk to her about pregnancy at a young age. Talk to her about a week into dating is a bit quick to be meeting the parents let alone staying over.
Talk to her about not having people
I’m your house to stay who you haven’t known long enough to feel safe around.
Don’t just tell her no. Compromise and work out when you both feel comfortable about someone staying over.
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Your reflecting your own belief on to your daughter because you don’t want her doing as you did at her age but within this your casting judgement on her by assuming she will fall pregnant and become a young mum as you did. Your fear has created control. She won’t always let you do this to her…you may lose her if your not careful.
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She’s almost 21, kids that age shouldn’t even have to ask. If she was asking for him to stay at your place, yes you have the right to say no as its your house. If you haven’t already talk to her about birth control(which she’s probably already on) and just be happy and proud that she still asked you probably out of respect. 
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She’s an adult whose independent she doesn’t have to ask you but out of respect she did and that alone says she responsible
I get it, it’s your daughter raise her how YOU see fit. You’re right, they’re able to “function” as adults but they’re not stable. If he wants to lay with her, he should put her in their own home, then he can do what he wants, but if they’re not stable enough to live on their own, they’re not complete adults. Heaven forbid she get pregnant and they have to live with one of you two
She is 21 and it’s none of your business where she goes or what she does outside of the home she lives in with you. If you keep on telling g her no shes gonna leave and NEVER come back and resent you. I really hope after you see all these comments you go and tell your daughter she can do what she wants.
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My parents didn’t respect the fact once i turned 18 i was an adult. I had to ask permission for EVERYTHING. i still lived at home at 20, and still had to ask to leave the house, had to be home by 10.30pm!! - trust me, give her freedom or she will sneak around and lie about where she is.
She’s 21 not 12!!
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Don’t you trust her? Did you not instil and teach her independence and responsible choices? Let her do what she likes but let her know how u feel about it. She is adult. Open your eyes mama bear. If at all she makes a bad choice then she will come to you. But not if you don’t trust her.
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Your being way extra if your worried about her having sex you sure don’t have to spend the night to do that and there’s no way she can be a teenage mom if she’s already 21 . My sons were all around 17 their girlfriends spend the night.
And I just have to say… I was a teen mom too. I’m 35 and my son is about to be 18 in december… and I would never have the same thoughts as you. And I hope you realize that at 21 she is no longer a teen! And why do you have no faith or trust in your kid?
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A week is a bit short😳
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She is 21 years old. Wow. You’re lucky she even asks you. Just because you made bad choices doesn’t mean she will. All I get from this is you’re way too controlling. Back off before this blows up and she doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore. Just wow!
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Omg she’s 21 and yes I agree with your rules but you aren’t responsible for her anymore after 18 years of age if you raised her right and by the sounds of it you have ,trust her to do the right thing or let her learn by it
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you sound like u control your 21 year old if she feels like she has to ask to stay at her boyfriends house , she works pays her own way she’s an AdULT now , why not speak to ur daughter and say just incase can u go on birth control as i wooodnt want u been a young mum like i was
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U wanted to get fucked too at some point. If u dont allow it she will find a way. U wanna be in the same page in her secret life? Cause what u doing is just keeping a wall up between you two.
It’s your house and if it makes you uncomfortable, then it’s very simple. NO!
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Have you watched Tangled?
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Lol she’s an adult, she doesn’t have to ask permission.
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I wouldnt want someone I knew for a week in my house over night. A steady boyfriend of 6 months or so, I don’t think would bother me…
She’s 21 so ya she’s an adult she doesn’t have to ask but she does out of respect. People don’t get that if you smother your children they will end up hating you.
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You have no control over what she does or who she does it with. Doesn’t matter if you don’t make her pay rent that is her residence too. She can do as she pleases as soon as she turned 18. If she goes out you cannot lock her out. You cannot kick her out without a legal eviction either. Just be happy she was respectful enough to ask even though she doesn’t have to ask your permission for anything anymore. At some point in time you have to let go and let them make their own mistakes instead of trying to control their lives.
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21 is an adult however she’s at your house and not paying rent so your rules I guess. When I became 18 even though I lived with my dad, my bf was allowed over and to stay over at 16. Because they knew that either way I’d do it… a week is very soon, but be maybe think about it. Or come to an agreement, when y’all have been together longer I’ll consider it however she’s probably going to go to his place…
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It’s a no for me. But, if my child lives under my roof it is my rules. Additionally, the values you instill go a long way. You are doing your daughter a great service to instill these values. There is no need for her to spend the night with her boyfriend. She is better off in her life to wait until she is married. So many hurts come from doing these things ahead of marriage and it is better to learn this now than later in life. Stay strong and stick to your convictions. The “world” doesn’t make these rules, your mamma’s heart does! 
One day she WILL understand and love you all the more for it!
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She is an adult?? She can make her own decisions and should be able to. For those people saying to have a conversation about contraception, she is a 21 year old woman. That conversation should have taken place YEARS ago. How likely is it really that she hasn’t needed it before now?
Y’all are funny 
us as mexicanas don’t matter what age you have their house their rules and if you don’t like it the door is wide to leave.
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She’s an adult and really doesn’t need your permission. It’s fine to voice your concerns to her and make sure she’s being safe for when sex does happen but other than that you have no right to tell her she can or can’t stay with him. If she was asking for him to stay the night in your home that be different. She’s an adult, she can come and go as she pleases and can live her life the way she wants without your say so
What has her working as a waitress with no college education for to do with anything ! At least she’s working and not lazying about and if she’s 21 she can really do as she pleases if she wakes up tomorrow and decides she wants a child how are you going to stop her she’s an adult stop self reflecting onto your daughter it’s toxic !!
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The only thing that is weird in my book is that they’ve only been dating a week. Other than that, she’s an adult, that’s her choice. That’s insane to me that she even asked.
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I’m not being rude by any means but I had my first child at 21 finished school and worked a full time job - she is more than an adult - I mean 18 should have been the standard but your house your rules . Teenage mom and mom at 21 too totally different things . Teenage mom is anything under 18 really and I’m sure if you have had conversations, talked birth control there’s really not a big deal . I say let the girl live her life or she could rebel as soon as she moves on from your house and try all the things she’s been hidden from - I’m afraid I’ve seen it happen with too many sheltered children of over protective parents . So advice is you raised your child to do the right thing and you should trust your child ( but she’s an adult) you’ve given education and resources let her live her life . Also kids are starting boyfriend girlfriend sleepers junior/ senior year in high school these days at parents house so not weird at all .
Don’t give in stick by your convictions because if you condone it then it’s a reflection of your character… don’t let anyone bully you out of your convictions. It is your home you make the rules if she wants to do adult things she can get her own place
She’s an adult…
Personally I think she shouldn’t even have had to ask you.
But she did because she obviously respects you since she still lives with you.
But it’s not like she is 17years old anymore and fully depending on you still.
It’s time to understand that she is a grown up and can make her own decisions.
Also they probably have been only dating for a week but she could have known him way prior to them finally dating.
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Are you kidding me? At 18 shes an adult and can do what she wants. Jesus
They should get a place of their own…problem solved!
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Not long enough to sleep over maybe in a year then might let him
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I don’t think it’s right to control an adult child like that. It will backfire. Provide her with the information and tools she needs to stay safe and not get pregnant.
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Only dating a week! Ah no. A week! Hold up the horses there! Going way to fast. If he gets what he wants he will be gone the week after! I wouldnt allow it. Nice that the daughter asked the mum, but mums advice is not to sleep with him the first week, get to know him first, then we can talk about sleep overs in this house. Doesnt matter what age they are, we mums have the knowledge and experience, we have been there:revolving_hearts:
best of luck
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Yeah…at her OWN place!
My husband was very strict . If she was 21 and living at home it would not be allowed .
You are right. There are so many stds out there you really should be careful. You need to know someone a lot better before putting your life on the line.
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When my Dad was in his 70s and I did not allow him to have a “friend” spend the night in my house! I don’t care how old you are if you are not married there will be no sex!
Your house your rules period
Going through this with mine
If she don’t pay bills she doesn’t have any rights far as I’m concern
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My mother was a teen mom and as was I. If the “child” is 21, they have all legal right to do as they please. Meaning, you cannot stop her from going to spend the night else where. Her living under your roof doesn’t give you a say on what she does. She is a grown adult.
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A grown up does not still live under their parents roof. If she paid her mother rent then technically she has rights to have visitors however who wants to bring their bf/gf to their parents house. She said to start trying her like an adult so it’s time to start making pay some rent and bills or move out.
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Mums house
Mums rules
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I get the woman power movement and all but I also think one week of knowing this boy is way too soon to ask for a sleepover. I guess it’s a cultural thing because I would never ask my mother for a sleepover out of sheer respect. That is how I grew up. Sex was a taboo subject with my parents. Although I share the same ideas about sex as the older generation, I have spoken to my kids very openly about sex since they were very young and told them it’s a very natural thing that their bodies will on day desire. Ive been asked some very uncomfortable questions but I answer with a poker face so they will not think sex as taboo. That being said, I strongly believe that you don’t share your body with just anyone, not because of a high body count, but because sex should not just be casual as she or he may develop feelings and you don’t know enough of the other person to be safe to say no. That’s my opinion about it. So I agree with you on this one. If your kids have to have sex under your roof, no. If they’ve been together long enough that you know her partner as a person and they go away for a weekend, that is ok. Also at 21, she should already be paying rent. Not sure why people think that is a problem. That is teaching her how to budget and become a responsible adult. If you don’t want to take her money fine, have her pay rent and you put it away until she moves out and give it to her to get her on her feet. That will also be a sense of confidence that she earned that money herself.
Maybe she wants to spend time with him to get to know him better also u have to hope that shellput to use all the values u taught her and trust her toake the right decisions and she is grown
Im just shocked she’s even listening to you to be honest 
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Well I can’t say if its right or wrong for you to tell your adult daughter what she can and can’t do, it is your house and if you dont want boys staying as you put it, then thats your right, but if you think you saying No to her for fear of her getting pregnant and that is going to stop her from sex, you are sadly mistaken. Her and her bf probably have had it several time and in places you wouldn’t even dare to think… just my 2 cents, but if there us a will there is a way… oh and his parents are.more opened minded about such things or the boy helps out around the house more than you know…
Just sit down with her and have a heart to heart. Instead of just saying no right away just tell her your concerns and let her think about it.
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When she is married.
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Full stop. She’s an adult. She shouldn’t have even had to ask you in the first place. Stop controlling your children (ESPECIALLY ADULTS) like this, or you’ll push them away, and you’ll never see them again. My father was a lot like you. I moved across the country. We text maybe twice a year.
That is your future if you don’t cut the sh*t.
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She can get pregnant just as easily in a car…
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I’d let my daughter go stay the night. Cuz even if you say no they’ll figure out a way to spend time together. And even if it’s a week of knowing each other who cares, she can get to know him and see what happens.
Yeah she’s young but she’s also a grown woman now and should be able to make her own life choices because how else is she going to learn how to live life and make sound decisions.
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When she’s 18 and old enough to make that choice her self so I’m gonna say 3 years ago:rofl:
She’s 21 you can stop him coming to your place but literally can’t stop her doing anything else
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Wow she’s 21 she more then an adult 
yes she want to spended the night but dose not me they Re going to have sex or anything they may just want to chill out if my 21 year old asked me I would have a problem even more so HE LIVES WITH HIS MUM AND Dad I don’t see a problem at all
She’s 21, a conversation, possibly birth control but she’s grown.
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