My roof my rules. Too soon. Get your own place and you can do what you want
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Far out I had a 2 year old and I was pregnant with twins at 21⊠let her go already!!
Let her spend the night she is 21 wow be glad she even asks u instead of just doing what she wants
When it comes down to it⊠Sheâs an adult point blank. Yes she lives at home, but sheâs still old enough to make that decision without even asking permission. She should be able to say Iâm staying over at his place and I wonât be home tonight. You have every right to say he canât stay at your place, but I feel like it is overstepping boundaries to try to control what she does. I know what itâs like to be controlled. In the end it will cause problems between you two. Trust me. I know first hand because thatâs how I felt. My son is 18 now and lives at home. Heâs a manager where he works. He bought his car, pays his insurance, buys things he wants, and helps me get things for the house and with bills if I need him to. On his birthday I sat him down and we talked. I told him heâs an adult now and Im going to treat him like one. He does NOT have to have my permission to do things or stay the night somewhere as long as he respects the house rules, which is basically to respect everyone in the house, donât come in late at night unless youâve been at work because his brother and I are up at 5am for work/school and Iâm a light sleeper, donât bring someone home without permission, and if you are at a friendâs house past a certain time stay the night there. Oh⊠And let me know at a decent time if youâre not coming home. It works out great. I respect him as an adult and he respects what authority I do have. I had my freedom taken from me and it made me somewhat rebellious when I left home. I want my kids to know Iâm here if they need me, but if youâre an adult I am giving you your right to freedom and the chance to make your mistakes. I will be here if you fall and need help getting back up. Momma will always have your back. Donât be afraid to make your decisions and ask help if needed. I wish my mom would have done that. Donât get me wrong, I have a great mom, but weâve had our power struggles and it did hurt or relationship for a while. Give her her space and let her make adult decisions for herself. Trust me, if you control her she will resent you. I did. Good luck.
That grown woman can do what she likes you are privileged she even listens to you! These are the years you find yourself and become aware your bodies wants and needs. Your hyper protective because you were a young mum understandable. But donât shelter your baby let her fly and support her growth as an individual, a woman and a leader. What your doing is absolutely ridiculous. If that little lady respects you enough to listen and have a conversation about her personal life, her relationships or her sexual preferences you should be honoured she trusts you enough to seek guidance as there wonât be many people she asks. This world is so judgemental and already puts people in boxes donât be that mumma xxx goodluck. If you want the privilege of being in your babies life and want her to stay living with you and confide in you, stop with the in my day. This is her day you.lived yours let her live hers. Advise against it but you have her living at home with her do you want them getting caught in the back-seat instead. Be happy she makes good desicions and respect your daughter is grown.
Times have changed so much in just the last couple of generations. The changes began in the midst of raising our own family. I saw and felt those changes within America. Itâs harder for the youth now than itâs ever been, for both male and female young adults. When I was growing up in a home with 8 siblings,⊠years and years ago,âŠmy brothers, (and all other males in other families),âŠcould get a trade by hands on work, through lots of different jobs, rather they graduated high school or not. This allowed them an early start as young adults to gain better employment than todayâs times. , and with good pay as well. If they fell in love and wanted to marry, they could do so without much struggles to begin ârootingâ their own lives in the world, and didnât need to live at home. Rent was cheaper,âŠeverything was cheaper, and allowed them to live on there own. As times changed,⊠it began where if the young adult males didnât go to college,⊠or didnât go to some kind of trade school,âŠ( which not all parents could afford to pay for),⊠then the only jobs for them to get, is restaurants, grocery stores and such, which is a low paying jobs, which they canât start a family on if they tried. Now,âŠyoung adult children who are not meant for,âŠorâŠnot capable of going to college or trade school, are having to live at home with their parents up into their mid twenties, and thirties, if not longer. âTime and all of its changes, seem to be throwing us backwards in time,âŠif that makes since. As far as relationships,âŠwith these changes in time,âŠI guess itâs each parent/parents to their on ways of thinking. However,⊠as we were one of those parents, amidst âthose beginning times of changesâ,⊠and our sons were out of high school and one daughter as well,⊠we did allow their girlfriends or boyfriend to sleep over,âŠâif they had been seriously dating and knew each other well enoughâ. We felt it better to allow them in, so that we could also get to know them as well. Also, it gave the opportunity for them to really get to see what it was like to be closely together more than just a date. Well,⊠anyways, it worked out for our family!!! Good luck and best wishes with all of you and your families! Live is short, and seems to getting even shorter these days! Love to all.
Yikes sheâs 21 and sheâs very right that this is very weird and the only thing inappropriate would be the parent not allowing their adult child to sleep where ever she wants since itâs her life not yours 
Sheâs 21. A grown adult. She also probably wonât ever move out paying no rent to live there. So will.you control her sleep arrangements that whole time?
Put her on birthcontrol and ease up on the reins a bit before she bites the bit and starts buckin⊠Lmk if you want me to explain that lol
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No way! Itâs inappropriate and disrespectful⊠my point of view of course
I think maybe a talk about birth control but at 21 she can make her own choices and at least she asked? But idk your house 
Agree. As long as they are living in my house my rules. Donât care how old you are. Donât like the rules, find your own place.
Sheâs over 18 of she wants to go somewhere for the night with her bf itâs none of your fkn businessesâŠ
Better at your house than elsewhere x
Why is it inappropriate for a 21 yr old to stay at her boyfriends house?
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If they want to play house get your own place!!!
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But like, shes an adult ?
Id rather them be doing it under my roof then out somewhere trashy.
Raised three daughters 39,36 & 32 our house rules were no males slep overs
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You need to get off her ass. This is wayyyy too controlling. She is a whole ADULT. If they not even in your house whatâs the problem Grandma? Shits weird to me
Really!? Let her live she is 21 next sheâs gonna be sneaking him in lik a teenager
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Sheâs 21âŠand itâs not under your roof. If it were under your roof you could have a say.
Sheâs 21!
Sheâs going to be âdoing itâ wether you like it or not,
At least she asked!
Sounds to me like you need to start letting her go abit, you canât mollycoddle her forever,
Next she will be lieing to you as to where sheâs going/sleeping and Iâm sure you would like to know the truth and that sheâs safe and can come to you with anything,
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sheâs 21 not 12! cut the cord already
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Sheâs an ADULT!
Which means she can make her own choices.
The fact that she has to ask you anything is ridiculous. Itâs not like sheâs asking you to take him home. I just cannot
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Shes an adult, she can do what she wants
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let her be an adult. At least she ask. Soon sheâll be lieing to u. U need to give her respect. At least she not at the bar 24/7. Like some 21yrs old I know.
Iâm 35 no college education and making way more then my friends that had gone on to college.
If she doesnât want college go into skill trade thatâs where the money is. 80k plus a yr. We need them jobs.
My mom and I run a 10 acre hobby farm. Horses and chickens. My name is half on everything mortgage to utilities bills.
Yes I still live at home with my mom but a farm does take a few ppl to run it.
But I still ask if itâs ok for my boyfriend to come over. I just think itâs out of respect she normally says yes. To keep quiet cuz she works 1shift. And I work 3rd shift. on opposite schedules.
My mom and I have amazing relationship we are like roommates but yet still mom daughter.
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sheâs an adult and pays for her own things⊠i donât even know why this is a question. DO WHAT YOU WANT DAUGHTER!! You can think all you want but your daughter is her own person and has the right to make her own choices!!
sheâs grown dont try to control her anymore
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You answered your own question. ADULT daughter. Let her live her life
If rather know theyâre in my home, safe, than pretty much anywhere else
trust your daughter enough to not do what your fears are 
Just make sure sheâs on birth control. He may say no, but they will find a place.
This is pretty patheticâŠshes an adult woman. Im 21 and if my mum treated me like that id flip 
Ok sheâs an adult. Even if she lives at your place she should have a key and her own free will. Cripes would you wanna be told what to do as an adult thats capable of making her own decisions. Also 21 is not âtoo youngâ some of the best moms I know were younger than that. Be supportive not judgmental sheesh
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I had a baby and a serious relationship at 19 and my second baby by 23. Shes a big girl!
Teach her about contraception
sheâs an adult. thatâs it.
Wow⊠controlling⊠Sheâs am adult. Not a child. Let her make her own decisions.
Sheâs an adult and all youâre gonna do is oush her away if youâre still controlling your adult child. Take it from experience.
Also how do you expect her to make her own choices when she doesnât live at home if youâre always helicoptering her and controlling her at the age of 21. Let her grow upâŠ
3 degrees. Still to this day make more waitressing and bartending then my degrees could pay. Shes 21. If she canât do it under your home allow her to live and be free in her boyfriends home. Youâre only in your 20s once. And if u donât let her explore now, she eventually will behind your back rebelliously. Which can become extremeâŠ
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It sounds like you are projecting your trauma on to your daughter.
She has been an adult for 3 years, she can do as she pleases if it does to affect you.
The fact that itâs at his parents house and under their supervision makes it even better.
Time to let go, she isnât a child anymore
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After reading the comments, Iâm literally so shocked to see that women, women who have probably been left by themselves while being pregnant by some âmanâ who wasnât ready for a child, literally saying itâs okay for their son to do this but not their daughter!!! If men/boys were raised with and held to higher standards, instead of the old saying âboys will be boysâ then MAYBE we wouldnt have to worry about our daughters!!!
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I was allowed to have my boyfriend over as a teen. You donât own her body. If you canât handle your kids having sex donât have kids at all
This is bullshit, honestly. Your daughter is a grown woman and youâre still controlling her? Yikes.
There is NOTHING wrong with having a child at her age. I was 21 years old when I became pregnant with my daughter. I didnât (still donât) have a college education. I had only known her dad for two weeks when we got pregnant. That was 2 years ago now. Iâm still with the same guy and we have the most amazing little family. I wouldnât trade this life for anything. My child was the best thing to ever happen to me. Thinking that a child will âruinâ your life is a nasty, nasty insult.
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You said ADULT daughter. Sheâs grown so if she gets knocked up sheâll be responsible for taking care of it and realistically if she wants to hump her boyfriend sheâs gonna find a place to do it.
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I stopped reading when they they said a 21 year old ASKED to go stay somewhere. Sheâs an ADULT. I understand you not allowing them to stay in your house but for you to tell her that she canât go stay the night some where is just way too controlling.
I understand where youâre coming from but sheâs an adult and this seems controlling
If sheâs only been with him for a week then no its too soon
Itâs not inappropriate. If you keep treating your daughter whom seems like a responsible adult like a child she will be stunted socially and unprepared for the real world.
21??? What the fuck kinda question even is this lol
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How long are you going to have a kid 21 years?
Sheâs grownup⊠You donât tell her whatever to doâŠ!!
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She will have sex regardless of whose roof she lives under. Might sound weird but id rather my kids have safe sex in my home than unsafe sex somewhere else. Because half the time when they are sneaking around they arenât being safe. So I wouldnât throw a fit over my adult kid having sex. I went on one date and slept with my now husband. Weâve been together 10 years. You have to let her learn and make her own choices. Cut the cord mama!
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I mean, I guess itâs your house and ultimately you get to decide who you want over. But if sheâs paying rent, I feel like she should be allowed to have this guy over of she wantsâŠ
But you sound like a seriously hovering momâŠsheâs 21 years old. Itâs not up to you to decide what is appropriate for a 21 year old adult to doâŠyour personal feeling about this are irrelevant because itâs not about you. If you were my mom, and this judgy about things, you can guarantee I wouldnât tell you $hit or come to you with anything. Youâre going to ruin this relationship with your own daughter because youâre overbearing. Get over yourself.
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Sounds like you are way too controlling. She is grown and you really shouldnât be telling her what she can and cannot do anymore. Try maybe talking with her and advising her but to tell her no Iâd laugh in your face and go anyway. And than if you threw in my face that I live with you and that would mean your not helping her at all and it seriously is all about control. Try to talk to her as an adult instead of treating her like a child.
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Shes 21⊠and hes 19 not that big of a deal. Let your daughter live her life
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Sheâs an adult, none of your business what she does anymore. You are lucky she had enough respect to ask your opinion.
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I think a week is too soon also, but she is an adult.
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Hey all, sex is natural and doesnât have to be related to long term anything. I never shamed my kids for being sexual beings and theyâve been open and honest with me since their teens. Not only that but they are respectful and faithful partners to their significant others. This Puritanism is ridiculous. I would rather my kids were safe at home instead of having sex in cars or the woods or somewhere not safe.
I mean itâs your house your rules, yah she is an adult but if she really wants her man to spend the night she could always get her own place.
Sheâs not a teen sheâs almost a 21yr old adult so sheâs passed ever being a teen mom. She shouldnât have to ask permission unless she wanted him to stay at your house
My parents allowed it when I turned 18 because I was an adult and they didnât care much about that. They knew it was going to happen and wanted it under their rules and not me sneaking a boy in. My sister started it when she was about 17 but her and her bf had been together since basically freshman year. Once my daughter is 18 she can so I can make sure sheâs safe. But thats my personal view. I had my daughter a month after my 19th birthday. Iâm now 20 with an almost 2 year old. Sheâs 21 sheâs probably sneaking the boy over anywaysđ€·đŒââïž
You push her away youâll be pushing her right into his arms.
Think about how you approach it.
Woah you are living in the old school lady. Let your daughter smash
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So sheâs old enough to drink, smoke, give her life for her country⊠but sex? How dare she!!
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Donât be a C blocker 
let her party and get it all out.
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Sheâs 21. She doesnât need to ask you anything.
Simple answer ⊠Sheâs 21 lol
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I never allowed it till they were marriedđ€·đ»ââïž
Sorry your house , your rules.
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Your house, your rules.
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wow!!!way to cut your daughter down!!!âa waitress with no college educationâ?..shes working right?you gotta ask yourself why shes still living at home at 21?youre a control freak arent you?thats sadđ„
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Iâm sorry but youâre a control freak. She is an adult.
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Thank goodness I have sons
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When theyâre married.
Lmao Leah Marie I am just going to ask you to take this one.
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Margarita Martinez am I in the twilight zone? Broooooo these comments 
Jennifer Leray Jaylyn Smith shit my mom pulls and then letâs Ms bf stay the night like itâs perfectly fine. 
Wow last i checked shes an adult ffs!!! Youre an embarrassment
Wow. She must hate you
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Lady get a grip, sheâs 21, not 10. She doesnât need your home to have sex. And you realize that TONS of 18-25 year olds live with their parents right? Because the cost of living is too high in 2021. His parents probably allow it because they treat him like an ADULT like you should be doing.
I hope she puts you in a home when you canât wipe your own ass.
My sons 21 and his girlfriend at 19 spends the night often âŠsex doesnât just happen at night!
I think you need to give her the freedom to make adult decisions as you point out âmy adult daughterâ so why are you treating her like a child 
In my opinion this is a recipe for disaster!
Youâll only be causing a rift between you both evidently!
At 21 Iâm sure sheâs clued up on birth control stdâs and the likes.
Not all young couples are in it for the sex on an overnight stay theyâll want to get to know each other and if they chose to have sex then thatâs none of your business they are ADULTS!
You are literally overbearing and trust me sheâs already spent the night with him like it or not. My parents were and still are like this Iâm 35 and i get judged to this day. Be open with her or sheâs just going to lie to you. Trust me I did and plenty others did. Do you know how many times i was âat my friend Lindseyâsâ for the weekend while I was my BF house ⊠you need to let it go
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Why does she even have to ask? Sure if he was coming to your house but why at 21 does she have to ask permission to do anything? Sheâs an adult and you need to start treating her as such. My daughter is almost 18 and she doesnât have to ask permission to do anything, I just ask that she shows respect by telling me where sheâs going and roughly what time she will be back, she understands thatâs because of my anxiety and sheâs happy to give this information. You canât keep an adult under lock and key. Leave her be.
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Sheâs old enough to make her own decisions and mistakes. If you donât want him coming to your house then fair enough but you canât control what she does elsewhere, sheâs 21 not 15.
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There is no âallowingâ your 21 year old daughter anything. Sheâs an adult you literally have no say in what she can and canât do. Sheâs not a 14 year old. Donât be a dick
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My guess is if youâve talked openly with her about sex and making smart/healthy choices you wouldnât be so worried. She is old enough to make choices like this for herself, in my opinion. She should be free to do what she wants as long as she communicates with you.
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you know they made hotel rooms for a reason right? thatâs what youâll force your child into doing they can also have sex in a car, park, and thousands of other places⊠youâre a little over hill with being controlling bc you can end up pushing her away so far u may never see or talk to her again donât be like that
Your house, Your rules. If she doesnât like the rules, sheâll get her own place.
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You shouldnât have a say regardless if sheâs living with you or not. As a teenager yeah maybe she should be asking, better practising safe sex under your roof instead of anywhere she can. Sheâs 21 not bloody 15 or 16. You say you were a teenage mum, shes not had a child in her teenage years like yourself. Sheâs an adult. No matter if she lives with you or not, sheâs an adult and can make her own decisions. Even coming to you to ask permission is ridiculous.
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Sheâs an adult so she doesnât need to ask you for permission to sleep over at her boyfriend place and you canât say no because sheâs an adult.
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My boyfriend is 26 and I am 21, both still currently under both our parents roofs, and we have spent almost every night with each other either at my house or his. I donât think itâs inappropriate at all, we are respectful and take care of our stuff and donât cause issues. My parents love him and had even brought up the idea of him moving in with us before
Sheâs 21!! Doesnât need your permission
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She is an adult but I would have said wait until you know the boy longer than a week.
When their married and not until then. Stand your ground
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I love the belittling for her job and no college educationâŠ
Good parenting right there.
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As a mother of 3 daughters all grown now⊠I get where you are coming from⊠your daughter âaskedâ as a show of respect or else she would have gone to spend the night with a friendâŠShe obviously values your opinion or she would not have asked you. You gave your opinion/ answer to her question and she will do what she feels like doing. I believe itâs a healthy relationship momma. I donât understand why people think you are overbearing because you said no⊠if your daughter wants to be 21 and not ask and do her own thing then she certainly has every right to do that. Her first adult thing should be get her own placeâŠI agree also that a week is a little too soonâŠ
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Shes going to do him either way i think is best if you talk to her and show her protection so she wont be a young mom since thats what your protecting
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Holy shit this has to be satire right? Shes 21. I was full on living with my fiancé at 20 after only 3 weeks of dating Weve been together for 5 years now, own our own home, and our own vehicles together and he makes enough money that I can stay home with our two year old. Oh I also went to school for two years as well. Whooo child. I feel bad for her. Let her live her life
She is an adult. Leave it alone. Not your business.
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