God don’t give people anything they can’t handle you got this girl just love them the best you know how
You may be young, but you can do it.
There are so many variables and so many things to consider.
Keep your head up. It’s possible
I usually don’t comment much but I can totally relate. You can handle whatever you set your mind to handle. I have taken care of my 2 younger brothers since they were little. I now have my son’s brothers living with me for similar reasons. I could not sleep at night questioning if my nephew was okay or if he’s being loved and taken care of so the only decision to make was to take him and love him as much as our 4 other children. It’s been definitely a growth experience as a mother, woman, auntie, sister,wife etc … I suggest pray about it. Follow your heart and the rest will follow.
I would never even question it. Although it will be rough they are still your blood. Keep your head up! You got this! They will appreciate you more than you will ever know when they get older.
I believe you can foster them, and they will pay you for that. Instead of adopting
God will help you through… Take your brothers, once in system you may never see them again and you sound like a caring sister who loves her family, wouldn’t want any regrets down the road or what ifs. The lord will provide🙏
To me the real question here is, could you live with yourself if you let them go to a foster home? I’ve heard horrific stories of foster homes. One here in my town abused the kids. A little girl died. I think she was 12? Starvation and cold winter elements. Her punishments She couldn’t come inside and she couldn’t have any food . Thee are evil people out there unfortunately.
You will find a way. You are a strong women and can do anything.
Yes of course they are your siblings. It will get hard at times but harder would be not knowing of them and what they will become.
No foster care please. I work with kids who have been sent their and it’s truly devastating. It’s a 50/50 chance they get good people. There ate programs out there to help you. Please research and dont be afraid to ask for help. God bless you for doing this.
please do it. they need you, you can do this
Take your brothers. Keep them love them. Give them a stable home.
I’d rather take them and struggle than live with the guilt of not taking them. Once they go in care it won’t be easy to get them out xx
U can do this!! There is help an support their for u. Dont give up on themxx
Take care of those boys, they need you now more than ever
It’s a job. It won’t be easy. But the love you have will keep you goin. Don’t regret not doin it and losing them to the system… talk with baby day and boyfriend. You will need support and honestly you will need a break every now and then. But you can do this.
I’d absolutely keep them
ask if you can become a foster parent to them—see how it works, you would get some support financially as well as respite care etc, then if it works out and you feel you can do it then go for it!
You can do it, my Mom died when my youngest brother was 7. He had a different Dad than I. I finished raising him . I was 21at the time. But I am so glad I took on that responsibility. If he had been adopted out I may have never seen him again. Where theres a will theres a way. Good Luck:blush:
You will forever be their super hero. You will never look back, of course it’s going to be difficult at times. Parenting is, no matter if they are your bio children or not. You totally are going to be amazing at this.
Keep and ask God to provide
You will be able to handle it💛pls no foster care
Why are you asking if you don’t love or want them give them to someone who does!
To me they are your family you figure it out somehow. Family helps family.
Not sure what state university in, but kinder care can help u financially. It is part of the foster care system, but they stay with u, and the state pays u for their care.
The strength of a mother and sister is like no other and some days you’ll lose your mind. Some will be fine. But both times it will be worth to still have them in your life. If they go into the system you may never see them again.
Keep them I know a 13 year old boy who “died In his sleep” while In foster care.
I don’t ever comment, but you have a very similar experience going on that I did at 19yr old. I had a new born and I had always been my siblings rock. They were with me when our Egg donor fell apart or I kept the house going as a child myself and the kids alive and feed. So at 19 I decided it was enough she went to jail and I filed all and any paperwork. They became mine. Was it hard oh yes but it is also so rewarding. Did I want to give up,yes. Did they hate me sometimes because I made them go to school do chores ect., yes. They are now grown my brother is in the Army I am his momma. Egg donor is listed no where. My sister has two kids of her own. I call them my Grand Niece and Nephew. Because I take on that roll that a grand should. Sweet lady you got this you are stronger then you believe. It will eat you from the inside wondering if they are okay if you don’t have them under your roof. There was also this program called Kinship pay, like child support in a way but from the state. I got it for a couple years till I didn’t need it any longer.
I’d take them. Do the best u can until all legal matters are done with. Then reach out to a trusted family member or close trusted friend, and work on permanent placement for them. U don’t want them in foster care. Trust me.
They are ur brothers they need u right now if they go to foster care who knows what may happen to them or if they even go together.
I have 3 kids of my own and have taken in my 14 year old cousin. It’s a struggle but we make it. She loves being here and seeing her finally happy knows that I’m doing this right. You can do it. It’s gonna be tough but it’s worth especially to hear the laughs and seeing the smiles
You got it!! We only are dealt what we can handle. Stay strong they belong with tiy
There is no way I could ever put my family into a system. You CAN do it. It WILL be hard but it WILL be worth it.
My partner was in a situation like this when he was younger, except with two brothers. They all went to separate members of the family but were able to keep in close contact and all hang out and are close as adults too. It might be hard, but you’ll save those kids from so much heartache and loneliness it will be worth it in 20 years.
My question is why can’t their father take them
I hope you take them. I wish I could have taken my brothers from our mother, glad I was able to get my sister when I did.
It’s a lot of responsibility but I think you can do it!
Utilize all the resources you can available to you.
You are such an amazing person for this
You are all they have! Keep the boys it seems overwhelming but the rewards are worth it…sure its alot all being young but the oldest will be able to help more sooner than later…if you let them go you will forever regret it and the boys may not end up in the best circumstances…if anything you already have taken on the role of parent…its the formality of it all thats scaring you! Best of luck you got this!
You’ve got this! God will bless you for giving all of those babies a good home and showing them what love is
I’m not gonna lie. It’s gonna be hard. I had my tubes tied after 4 of my own. I then ended up adopting 2 of my neices. It wasn’t in our plans & it was really hard. Honestly, I would do it all over again. They have brought so much joy to our lives. My kids love having them as sisters. I really wouldn’t change it for anything. Good luck sweetie
Where’s your dad? Take them both for child support (bio mother AND father) because those children are owed that at the very least and it’ll help you a LOT! Just do your best!
You’ve got this! Sounds like you’ve had it this whole time. Don’t doubt yourself. There will be struggles but will be worth it.
If something where to happen to my parents, and my little sister and I where this age now, my older sister would take us in a heartbeat while having to kids of her own.
And I would do the same for my sister’s.
You will figure it out Mama.
Things will fall into place
They need you
Do it. You, and they will thank yourself later. Make sure to go thru the system tho, that way you can receive assistance.
I had four and was overwhelmed. I took in my sister’s too. Leaving me with 6 and I figured it out. Those kids don’t deserve to be in foster care!
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it!
Make sure the state helps with support even after adoption!
It’s the right AND best thing for everyone
Hopefully there is financial help from your county if you have guardianship for them
That might take some of the pressure off
What does your husband/ SO feel about this?
I had four and did it alone. You can do it and it will make you feel so good. God never gives you more than you can handle. Go for it!!
Ok, first this isn’t something you have to do. I give you mad props for doing it as long as you. Your a mom though so you know having 2 of your own can be overwhelming. You will be overwhelmed at times having your siblings as well as your own. Then there will be times where you breeze through it. You’ve been doing it for a while so the adjustment period is already passed. I would do it but just don’t dilute yourself into thinking it will be sunshine & roses. It will be some days & others it won’t. That’s just life babe. Sounds like you’ve got this but your nerves are on edge with the sense of permanence. Good luck momma.
My daughter is my husband’s niece. She was in the foster system…I have never regretted taking her in as my child . I was 18 years old and a newlywed. She is my only daughter…I had two sons years later. They are brothers and sisters. They love each other as siblings. The best decision I could make. I don’t regret it at all. ( she is now in her 40’s)
She had a brother put through the system that she has looked for but she has come to the reality he is no longer alive. He was born before I ever met my husband to be. I would with no doubt again after the fact that she will never be able to meet her biological brother. You can do this!
That is a lot for you!
That being said. Could you live with the possibility of them going to foster care and being adopted by someone else and potentially never seeing them again?
Really weigh everything out and make sure whatever you decide, your heart is content.
You have a big heart for even thinking about this. I say do it and pull in resources to help you manage. Talk to the CYS social worker about resources. Also talk to the school counselor.
I think you should. There’s lots of support out there for you, especially with a CPS service involved. You’ve been doing it this far, and they won’t be little forever. It’ll get easier. Please keep them. They deserve to be with family. I know it’s a huge ask, but I also think since you’ve helped this far you’d feel massive guilt later on. I think it’s best you all stay together. It’ll be hard, but you won’t be alone, and it will get easier.
Contact Saving Our Sisters and see if there’s anything they can do to help you. They intercept predatory adoptions, and help moms get the stuff they need to feel safe to parent. Maybe they can help you.
I had four babies to care for in my early 20’s due to the same situation. It was extremely difficult but I’d do it again without an issue. Children are innocent and you are the only person that can replace the mother. I have cousins that are still traumatized from foster care. I believe there is more abuse than genuine care for children in the system. I’ll pray that God will give you the strength that he gave me.
First off, gotta say you’re amazing for doing it so far.
Secondly, if you chose to take them on, my biggest advice is to make sure you have a babysitter for breaks. 4 is a lot, especially with a new baby; but it sounds like the boys are close enough in age to yours anyways so it would be a good placement for them imo
You got this girl. Love always wins!
Idk but I’d never let my siblings go in foster care.
Those boys are your brothers. They need you. You would feel horrible in the long run if you let them go into foster care.
Keep the kids. It sad enough that their Mother was a failure.
Love is a lifetime commitment!
Yes you do & you’ll find a way !!!
Where God guides. He provides. You & God will make an awesome team for these littles! God bless!
You’re all they have. So when you think about how difficult it will be, don’t forget to remind yourself of how grateful they will be for you when they are old enough to understand the sacrifices you made for them.
It will be hard, but it sounds like you love them very much. Would you be ok with yourself if you let them go? Would they be good big brothers to your children? The 6 year old is old enough to help you out, maybe that will make it a little easier?
I was 23 when I had my 4th and I was doing it alone, completely. People always asked me how I did it, how I managed cause they could only imagine how hard it was and my response was “I don’t think about it, I just do it” because thinking about it just stressed me out over something I was going to get up and do every day regardless. My oldesr is now 21… the others are 19, 16 and 14. It wasn’t always easy but we learned alot about life along the way and my kids turned out to be some pretty awesome people. It goes by faster than you know. Believe it or not I now have 11 month old twins . You’ll do great and your siblings will grow to love and appreciate you even more because you kept them. You can do this
You can be the foster parent of them family can step in and the state pays for the care
please keep them out of foster care and with each other in your care , men come and go, these are your family
Do it… Your heart will be so happy in the long run… They need you… And you’ll soon realize you’ll need them too
It is a lot. No one is doubting that. It will be difficult for sure. But they’re your brothers. You clearly love them. Don’t let them get lost into foster care. They can get separated and believe me, not all foster parents are actually caring and loving. You’ll regret it if you let them get taken by the system.
That thought would never cross my mind are the courts even considering you as a placement?
If your already feeling it will be to much, the court’s will find placement. Then if the children remember you they can look you up when they are ready. Most people that adopt want private adoption so they cut off all bio contact. If you feel like they would be a burden don’t do that to them they will suffer more damage than adopted children already go through if in a stressful home. If it’s a financial burden foster and adoptive parents get income to buy and support the children. It is more than what the average person pays to take care of a child. Adopted kids get a large payment because they have no services the month they turn 18. Foster kids can receive service’s until age 25. Sorry so long but I done this kind of work.
You can do it.i took 3 grandkids the youngest was 18 months old they were door steps plus we had one of are own.god won’t put More on you than you can handle.
Why can’t your dad take them, why can’t your family pull together and help you support them and care for them. You will live in regret if you turn them over to the state, but again you are young and will be overwhelmed yourself!!! Get yourself a good support system and make sure you make time for yourself!!! It’s gonna be tough but in the end it will be worth it
Go through your local department of family services and request a CHINS for the children. Take the necessary classes, mostly online, and get licensed as a foster parent. This would provide a per diem or reimbursement for the money spent to take care of them. It isn’t being selfish. Kids are expensive. School is expensive and so is daycare and food. You can also request respite care for when you get overwhelmed. Don’t feel bad about taking time out for you. Being a mom is filled with all these expectations and feelings of guilt and questions of if you are doing the right thing. Just breathe, take a moment and have a hot bath and glass of wine when they are in bed and know that you are doing what is best for them.
I don’t know a lot about this but would they get Social Security checks. that would help financially?
A friend of mine‘s nephews were put in the foster care system and abused. If it’s at all possible, try to keep them.
You can definitely do it.
Do it…they need you.
The trauma that comes with foster care is something you can avoid. You’re all they have. They need you. It may seem like a lot but you will be okay. I imagine you’d regret it if you let them go into the system.
If it was me I wouldn’t give myself a choice I would have to do it,the choice is yours sounds extremely overwhelming but from what I hear the foster system is horrible lots of child abuse goes on in there. Good luck with whatever decision you come to.
If your all they have I see no other option it can be very overwhelming we grew up in a situation similar to this and at times it was very overwhelming but its something you with adapt and get used to over time it will become something that feels so natural like it has always been that way and also there your family would you really want some stranger taking them away from you I can tell from your story you love them very much and it sounds like they need you
That will be way to much for you. Plus all the expenses
They are ur blood. Ur family. I would never let my family go into foster care. Like u said already u have been taking care of them on and off already. Why not make it permanet.
Nobody here can tell you if you can handle it or not. Only YOU can make that decision.
You’re young yes and have kids of your own but that doesn’t mean you can’t do this. If you love them, which I’m sure you do and you are determined to give them a better life then I believe you can do it! The state will help you care for them financially and they are likely better off with you than they are in foster care. At least you’ll know they are being cared for. But that is just my opinion!
Do it or you will regret it later.
They need you don’t give up on them
You are all they have and love. Foster Care will be traumatic for them
I realize that you have a lot on your plate but plese don’t abandon these poor little boys. They need you and if you allow them to be placed somewhere else, it will not only break their hearts but it will break yours too. You will regret it for the rest of your days if you let them go. You all need some help. Surely CPS will have some ability to get you some help and financial compensation. Please teach those 2 little boys to be responsible men who are more than willing to take on commitment to their family. You all deserve better. Can’t your own father who fathered these little boys do something to help out? Can you join a church group who would help you? My heart goes out to all of you. May God bless and comfort you. Be as strong as you can, my dear.
I have 4 as well and I’m 25.
It’s hard, but you can do it, momma.
They need you …but only you know if you can cope.
They are school age so will be out most of the day which will help. Look into any benefits you would be entitled to and claim every penny …dont be too proud or feel guilty . Its for the kids benefit
Ask for help…make baby daddy step up and take his kids so you get a break occasionally
Honestly there’s no judgement whatever you decide and no one says it will be easy…but I think you’ll regret not taking them in.
Youre strong enough .
What about your dad?
I’ve found when there is great love involved we figure out a way. They are little only once it will get easier as they grow. Sending good vibes your way!
1st off your have a big heart and that’s so rare these days. I think it’s amazing you are willing to do this. And smart enough to ask out for help, thoughts, and opinions. I do believe you can do this. Will it be hard yes, but so so worth it in the end. You are a super mom.
Theres a new law that passed help families taking in their family so they wouldn’t go to the system…look into it
I’m not going to lie…it WILL get overwhelming and at times feel impossible but you can do this! God does not call the qualified, he qualifies the called.
Right now they need you more than you realize. Please don’t abandon those kids…there are so many programs out there to help all of you. Don’t give up hope and don’t be afraid to ask for help
God will carry you through in whatever you need to do when you rely on him and follow obediently. Lots of praying.
You have everything that ur brothers need right now…someone who’s going to be there n love them…it will be hard ,no1 saying it won’t be but u will have brothers that will think the world of u n ur kids n as they grow older will always be by ur side …x