Can I handle taking in my brothers?

Reach out to different places to help you/resources, utilities free food pantries playgroups for kids etc. Join support groups. Mom groups. If I was you I’d do the same I’d take my siblings but yes 100% thats an OVERFLOWING plate!
Make time for you in the middle of all this. Remember to do your best to enjoy them. I’m sure your siblings are hurting too it may create some struggles. Maybe check out a group family therapy for guidance in the right direction.
You can do this family is important and your brothers will grow very close with you.

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You can do it, if you don’t you will regret it for the rest of your life. The foster care system is a disaster and it’d be a miracle of they came out the other side of it unscathed

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If you can get financial help from the system to help you, do it. Your heart will be content from all the love. It will be exhausting but worth it in the long run. Good luck.

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You have it in you trust me you will never forgive yourself if you don’t and one day you will be glad you did

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You got this :muscle:t5::muscle:t5::muscle:t5: it’s better this way . They will have a stable home and good environment to grow up in.

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Why post this it’s private l would never post anything personal

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So I did this I have 2 kids ages 12&13 and I took my sisters 3 kids ages 5,9,11 my sister wasn’t able to care for them the way they should be and I couldn’t see them getting messed up in the system it was tough at first but over time we got a routine down and I went to the dollar tree and got each kid their own baskets for snacks that I would fill every night and they could only have that much snacks the next day to help save money on food and I reached out to my community for help getting them beds clothes etc never be afraid to reach out for help In your community people can be amazing

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Fuel your power with the love you have for them. And if you ever doubt if you can do it remind yourself that foster care means you may never see your brothers again

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God never gives you more than you can handle. Absolutely, I would do it only if you can afford to raise them and your kids. You have to have yourself together first. But yes, I believe you can do it. :pray::pray::heart:

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Sweetie, I was a single parent and was put in this situation for the same reason. It would have been like having triplets for me. My nephews are now 15 & 16 and my sons is 15. At the time they were all toddlers. My parents ended up taking my nephews and finally adopting them a few years a go. I just don’t think I could have done it by myself!! Especially not financially!! They’ve had a great life with my parents!

:heart: when I was 12, I had to basically raise my baby sister(4 months old) because our mom was an alcoholic, along with babysitting my other little sister who was 5 at the time, I swore I never wanted kids when I was older because of the fact I had to raise my sisters. But the bond I have w the sister I practically raised is something I would never change. Just recently she moved away and I was afraid I wouldn’t talk to her as much…but we talk everyday :heart: I’m 37 with 3 of my own kids who are my little best friends and I raised them all on my own :blush: I also had a newborn and a two year old and post post partum depression. I got though it alone. But you have this social media page to seek help when you need it. Don’t get me wrong you are going to have your days where your stressed out to the max, but you just have to remember to BREATHE You can do this :muscle:

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Take them in, it wil not be easy, but you wont regret it.:two_hearts:

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Can I handle taking in my brothers?

Is there a reason their father can’t take them, the OP didn’t mention him in the post.

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Is your dad not around? If he is then he should be the one to take them. That is a lot to ask of a 22 year old. I would definitely do it if it is the only option but it will not be easy. You have to do what is right for you. I think the answer would be different for different situations. Good luck!

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Do it for the right reasons don’t do it then make them feel the burden. If you can’t handle doing it better to let them know now than later. The longer you do it the harder it will be on them when you let them go.

What about the kids father?

You will be overwhelmed but that’s the same as if they were your own biological kids. You put 1 foot in front of the other and you do what you have to do. So whatever you decide just know that the strength to do it will come.

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Just sit and think for a minute what it would be like to potentially never see them again and not know where they are who they are with they may not even be kept together… That’s the alternative if you don’t take them in.

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I think if you don’t hun you would regret it and I know it will be hard but when they are fully grown adults working there butts off and providing for their own family you and only you can hold you head high knowing you brought them up that way. Xxxx

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Whatever you decide will be the right choice.

I would adopt them girl without no thought or hesitant. God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle. You can’t let them go to a foster care or a foster family who abuses them or kills them. It happens alot. They would be safer with you. Maybe the state can help you???

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I also wonder about your father, can he take your siblings?

If not, adopt your siblings. You will get overwhelmed, you’ll get overwhelmed with just your two at times. It’s a part of being a parent. We learn and we adapt. Taking your siblings in is far better than the alternative, foster care is a scary place with more bad people than good.

Can you handle the guilt and chance of never seeing them, or later learning what they had to endure in foster care?

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Maybe you can get the child services to help pay for daycare costs and such — so you can get a break during the week and it won’t be a financial strain. Also, have your dad get the kiddos on a schedule to also give ya a break and they can look forward to time with their dad.

I am actually going through this right now. I have a 9 month old and a 3 year old and I am 21 years old. I took in my 8 year old brother and my 10 year old sister. It’s definitely not easy but it’s worth it knowing that I saved them from being adopted out to a family and area they don’t know and possibly never being able to see them again. Make sure you are ready for a lifelong commitment before you do it.
I do have help from my father who is also their father. Make sure you have some sort of support system

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If you can, do it. They are your family. If you are worried about being overwhelmed see if CPS can help you line up resources to ease taking care of them. Things like childcare and counseling if they need it which I’m sure they will. They are close in age with your kiddos and your siblings. I think if you let foster care take them youll “ what if “ yourself forever. Good luck. You should be very proud of yourself for having the maturity to consider this.

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Can you be a foster parent for a while to see how it goes before you decide to take them permanently? It seems like a lot for anyone. My niece came to live with me for 4 yrs when she was three. It was a lot for me. I had my own 2 sons and both myself and my husband worked full time. Everyone is different. You know what you can handle. If you can’t it’s not your fault. You can only do your best.

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if you had to adopt them…then it must be for good reason.Its hard but you will cope.Have a routine and do meal preps.Family’s need us and we need them You will be amazed at the help thats out there Life is too short not to care for them.Do what you can.God bless you and your family

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These are your brothers! How could you sleep at night knowing they are in foster care? You may not know how your going to do it but you will…you got this!

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No matter what you’ll make it work. That’s what parenting is all about. And because you are big sister and have been taking care of them all their life you are who they know… The system will support you and will have good networks out there for you you just have to tap into them… It does seem abit much, but trust yourself, your the best your brothers will ever have.
You got this :100::100: and we’re here for support 24/7 :wink::blue_heart::blue_heart:

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So why can’t your dad take care of them?

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They are ur brothers it shouldn’t even be a question if u should take them or not :100: u should take them think how they would feel knowing that u didn’t want them and let them go to foster care what if they go to different foster homes that’s just not fair to them

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Only you can decide if it’s something you can do, but I would ask DCF what support they can provide. They should pay for daycare for the boys as needed, and while they’re still in DCF custody (severing parental rights can take a while) they usually give some money to help with expenses and can also provide some respite care as needed.

My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage, but when I was 5 months into my second pregnancy we became foster parents for our two nephews. It was a lot, especially with the stress of the pregnancy and having placenta previa (a lot of extra appointments, stress, had a hospitalization, planned c-section) so I get where you’re coming from. But honestly I would do it again in a heartbeat. It was so hard, especially with the visitations (and behavioral issues after those) and my husband worked such long hours that I was the primary caregiver with a full time job.

Talk honestly with their case worker about what support is available and any questions you have. For instance, had a judge approved termination of parental rights? The 9 months we fostered was a yo-yo of drama and emotions but we were so glad we could provide a little bit of stability for that short time.

Talk with your partner, talk to DCF, decide what you can do. And good luck :heart:

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You should definitely adopt them. It is going to be challenging and emotional but I think you would have so much regret if you didn’t. Constantly wondering about them and where they are and if they are ok.
You have this Facebook group to help support you and I’m sure if you had a Venmo or a go fund me page people would definitely help out with the financial situation since you are doing an amazing thing.

Do what your heart tells you. You got this mama! :blue_heart:

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I recommend seeing if getting child support is an option from either or both parents.

They need no pay you foster parent money

I did it and you can too! You understand as a mom that its hard and yet you still couldn’t leave them in the system for the last 2 years. You’ve got this and after 15 years I’m so grateful I have my two siblings they’re like my own 2 kids, they are with family someone they know and knows them, and they never had to suffer the system :revolving_hearts: you got this sweetie

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Do it! They need some family in their corner. Bless you.

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Family always finds a way God will be with you

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Like someone else said do the foster care first. But you will be surprised what you can handle.

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Wow such rude comments! Is your father there to help? These are kids he brought into this world. I read mom is back in jail but what about dad? I would do everything I could to keep them but I understand it’s tough being 22 with 4 children relying on you. I did foster care for 9 years and had about 23 little ones over that time span. The less bouncing around the better. It is sometimes traumatizing for kids but what’s best is what is aimed for. I hope things work out for you and your brothers.

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God will take care of you & these precious children. :pray::pray:

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Just to say u might only be 22 but ur Amazing its not easy im sure but ur all they have and im sure the love they have for you will only grow :heart::heart::heart:

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You can do it! You will never regret it. Family is everything! God Bless you!

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I 100000% would never forgive myself for letting siblings or neieces nephews etc go into care, I couldn’t do it no matter how hard it was on me I just couldn’t let some stranger bring them up, they would be staying with me, in the family, where they belong! You can do it, you’ve said yourself you’ve been doing it on and off 2 years already which proves to yourself you can do it, let them see they have at least 1 person in their life who’s in it for the long haul and isn’t going to let them down​:blue_heart::blue_heart:

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Could you live with yourself if you didn’t do it?

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You can do it! I’ve been helping raise my nieces along with my 4 children. You’d forever be heartbroken and regretful if you don’t and they’ll always love you more like a mother. One day you’ll have 2 extra people to care for you when you need it.

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I know that it can be stressful especially being so young. Support should be available to help you. I was a young mom i was pregnant at 18 and had to take custody and care for my lil sister also. But let me tell you that i would never change a thing i love my sister to death and she is my best friend in the whole world. It was a struggle at first but we got thru it im now 36 have 3 kids shes grown and has a family for herself and we are there for each other. My point being they need you as much as you will need them one day. You can be the person who raises them and loves them. They may be young but i can tell you when their all grown up and you see how much love you have created in a special family of your own you will be so happy you made that decision. But whatever you do its your choice i hope and pray everything works out for you.:heart::heart:

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To be honest, I couldn’t stand for my brothers to go into foster care. I’d take them in. You can get state funds for being their foster parent to help you.

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It may not be easy momma but you are all they have. There are so many children in foster care some are blessed to receive genuine real love and unfortunately some are not. You got this momma! You can do this! With God, all things are possible! :heart:

I’m here for you if you ever need a friend!

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Will the government give you assistance? Money? To help care for them… you need to apply for all the resources you can… maybe social security benefits for them… speak to a social worker, tell them you will need financial help, as you can barely take care of your own

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It will be fine , your doing it already if you’ve got them you know they will be loved if they go in to Foster care it might not be the case .
You’ve got this girl xx

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You can do it! You will have good days and bad days… if you take them you will never wonder where they are or of they have a loving home. Join mom support groups too. Best of luck to you all

I took in two of my family’s children and we are going to adopt. At the time, I only had one child, but I just recently had another baby. So we went from 1 to 4 kids in a year. It’s hard. But if that’s what you want to do, I believe you can do it.

Mama, if you’ve been doing it for so long already, I doubt officially adopting them will make much difference for you. You can do it❤

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There are very many support services out there to help. It would be the best for the boys to stay with family. A stable situation knowing that they will always be able to have you there for them makes a huge impact on their lives. It’ll all work out.:pray:t3::sparkling_heart::pray:t3:

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Hi, I’m a social worker for a kinship program, I don’t know what state you live in but a lot of states do have kinship programs that offer emotional and financial support for people raising kin relationships. Additionally, you will likely qualify for some kind of aid from DFCS if you apply for it, it won’t be terribly much but it’s a start. I would take them in if I were you, there is help available. It will definitely not be easy but I think you will feel better in the long run. Good luck mama :heart:

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Either that or you’ll have a lifelong guilt of letting your little brothers go to foster care

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Can you live with not taking them?

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What about your dad? Can he help in any way?

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I’m so touched by all your statements….Family is everything

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You can do it!! Im 23 with a 4mo old and 2yr old. Id take in my brothers any day! Yes its hard, yes overwhelming, but you got this!!

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They are your blood we do not give our blood away. You will be upset if you give them up to foster care. You never know who they will place them with. You have been doing it for two years now so why not until they are 18 you will only be 30. They will be able to help you around the house. I think you love them and will keep them. But you do what is best for you.

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You’ll be fine. You are strong and amazing. God bless you

I take care of 6 kids daily by myself, YES it’s hard as he’ll but it’s so worth it and you will have your bad days and good days but in all honesty there your brothers!!! I have my nephew as well born a very sick baby and I have 5 other kids of my own and it’s crazy but it’s so much better than throwing them in the broken system!!!

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Talk over with the boyfriend and it may be long term but you already have been doing it

I have 3 kids of my own I also had my two bonus (step) kids as well and when I took in my nephew when he was 6 months old (I tried taking in his two older brother before he was born but cps wouldn’t allow it and they got adopted…… which I regret everyday that I don’t have them) I had all the kiddos full time there dad work all the time as well and I took my nephew in anyways that gave me 6 kids that I was taking care of full time pretty much by myself… yes it is hard yes it is exhausting mentally and physically …. But I can’t lie totally worth it. I wouldn’t give him up for anything in the world. And still wish I had the other two as well.
You have to follow your heart and do what you feel is right but know this you’ll regret it if you give them up. It’s hard but worth every happy, sad, exhausting, crazy, chaotic, funny, loving, and fun moment.

You got this you can do it. Keep it head up!

From someone that was in foster care and was separated from siblings among other things that happened in foster care if you are able please take them foster care system is so flawed and hurts more than it helps in my opinion and lole a previous comment stated. There is usually some sort of assistance available you got this and those babies will thrive because of you :heart::heart:

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I would do it, you’ll find the strength and be glad you did to keep your family together :heart:

Will definitely be hard & overwhelming, but if you already do it sometimes, you sort of know what to expect. It won’t be easy but the best thing is to keep them together as a family. Good luck!

You can do this. It may be hard at times but totally worth it. :heart::heart:

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God bless you

You are incredibly decent and kind.

Don’t let those babies go to foster care - I promise you’ll never forgive yourself if you do!
It’s gonna be very hard but so worth it.

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If you’ve done it for 2 years already you’ll be fine. I had my own and my brothers 2 and figured it out

Free kids without the birthing? Sign me up! :heart:

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I’m 29 and raising my 2 kids plus raised my nephew off and on since I was 15. I’d do it again

I am probably the only one who is going to tell you not to adopt. At least not at this moment. Get certified for foster care and foster them. then at least the money won’t be that big of an issue. Then when you are older and more stable you can always adopt them. But yes take them in.

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Hi there. Social worker here :wave:. Not sure what state you’re in but take advantage of resources available to you through the state CPS system, if they have an open case and you’ll adopt thru them. TX gives subsidy to adoptive caregivers and offer other services to you to help you out…take advantage of whatever they’re willing to help you out with. Eventually it would just be the subsidy but while your case is open, use what services you can. There are also a lot of community supports out there that people often times aren’t aware of. Best of luck!

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Try to think of it as “I get to adopt my two brothers” and that might help take the fear. You though only know what’s best for you and your family.,

You can do this!! You will regret it one day if you dont !!

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I’d definitely think about doing it. Sign up for whatever benefits you can for them. It may help in the long run.

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I would rather struggle than let my siblings go into foster care. There is so much help for you guys money wise depending on where you live and also food wise

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Id do it you will regret it if you don’t

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I can’t even imagine giving them away … Wow

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You are all they have momma… Im a child of foster care the trauma on them…

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Could the original poster please make a go fund me so we can send money to help :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
Also if the og poster sees this please msg me

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Stay a foster parent to them. The extra money will help.

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You got this mama!!! 4 kids is crazy… I have 3 but I love it and it’s wild it’s hard at times sure… But it’s so worth it and we love life … We get out alot to burn energy. Nightly walks after dinner, frequent Park visits, and self care… YOU GOT THIS BOO

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It’s sounds like you already are prepared to take them love. As hard as it is, there’s tons of programs etc. You can do it :heart:

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I’ve seen kids in the foster care system and it’s heartbreaking. It won’t be easy but it will be worth it.

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Please take them. You don’t want them in foster care. No one will love them like you do

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You said foster care or you keep them so what you feeling ?

Take them or you probably won’t ever see them again. That would be so traumatic for them. They have already been through enough in life. You will be able to handle it. They need you and you need them.

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It’ll be a lot but you have technically already been doing it… but See about doing it has fostering till their 18 depending on the state they will help you more that way.

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Take care of the kids, it might be difficult right now but your heart will hurt forever if you don’t. You can do this!!

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I have no doubt in my mind that you will make the best choice for you, and your family. I have four kids myself, Had my first at 19, so I know the struggle. However, I know for a fact that I wouldn’t have had the energy I do now later in life. It’s a lot to handle at times, but with the right support system, you can do it! I would also make sure my boyfriend/ kids dad was on board, and understood that he needs to help with not just his kids, but all kids. Reach out to relatives, see if they can help in any way, even if it’s just a break to go to the grocery store ALONE. Your brothers will thank you for this, and I’m sure they will be very helpful in the coming years (helping with chores around the house, etc).

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You got this. I know it will be a struggle but you can do it. You seem like a strong woman! I personally would never let my siblings go into the foster system. My family is very close.

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Where is their/your dad in this picture? Why isnt he stepping up?

From someone who had all 5 siblings taken into foster home… take them in. Struggle or not… youll always wonder about them the rest of your life.
I wish i could see my siblings.

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