Okay, so I agree he needs to help around the house more
BUT I absolutely don’t understand why you’re trashing him for not making more money than you. He supported you all the way up to your success and now that you’re successful, you look down on him? What? You sound horrible tbh, if it doesn’t work in the long run despite him being financially stable, supportive, a great partner, and a great dad, it’s probably because of you.
I’ll also say, success isn’t only defined by money.
If you love one another, you’ll work it out. Don’t throw away love. You’ll be miserable and your child will wind up “Visiting” . Take all that money your making and pay someone to clean .
I think you’ve made your mind up already. I also think you trying to be single might be good for your husband. It’ll teach you to appreciate what you have and throw your double standard bs away.
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That’s the thing are you always going to be making more money??? It shouldn’t matter if you make more money or if he does. Just because you make more money than he does doesn’t mean for you to say o now I make more money you do this and that and blah blah blah. He should want to be with the baby and help out.
I am really sorry and don’t mean to sound like an ass but this sounds like a you problem and not a him problem… It shouldn’t matter AT ALL who makes more. It’s all in the same pot if you’re a family. The rest is up to you and if you feel the chores aren’t equal and you don’t like it tell him.
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I’m a bit concerned that when he made more… you paid a small percentage, yet now that you “make way more” you both do 50/50 and you are wanting him to make more money. Why is it not acceptable for him to pay a small percentage when you make it clear you make so much more? Like it was adjusting accordingly for you, it should be for him too…because that’s fair. I think therapy would do your relationship a lot of good. Best of luck 
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I am the breadwinner by like more than double my husbands salary. But I couldn’t afford to live on my own either! It is our money, I don’t car which makes more. I am in charge of paying all bills because he pays them late. So we sat down and figured out how much money he needs for two weeks. When he gets paid he gets that amount and I get the rest. I pay the bills and use the rest of the money for groceries and household stuff, savings, vacations, clothes, etc. As far as chores we both do an equal amount. I don’t see it as the breadwinner does all things financial and the other person does all the chores.
You girls make me crazy!! I would have been happy to have a contributing partner who didn’t beat me because the “thought” I was cheating on him or trying to “run his life”. Be thankful for what you have before you ruin it!
The way you explain it, he is at least trying to check all your boxes. He tried to help with the house/baby, but you didn’t like it. If he is happy with his job, treats you and baby well and tries to be what you want him to be, then you have to be the one who decides how important the money situation is. Is the fact that you make more money than him important enough for you to throw it all away?
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Someone I used to work with was the working parent while her husband was the stay at home dad. It works if both make it work.
Sweetie, men can be just as good as women at cleaning, laundry, cooking and taking care of the kids. In fact my husband is a way better cook than I am.
No one is unable to cook clean or do laundry . maybe think of your relationship less like what he can do and pay for and more like why you had a baby with him in the first place. It doesnt seem fair he spent a long while paying for everything and all of the sudden now its 50/50 . seems like you should do him a favor and leave.
It can
But with a mindset of being more it will fail
As parents; it’s your job as parents to both be present
As each other’s partners ; it’s your jobs to take care of each other
Relationships aren’t 5050 you gotta give what you can, and expect for the other to make up the difference . It’s vital for people to both feel respect and love
I would see a therapist together. There are many factors to this and these are not just things one “gets over” and having a neutral party would benefit you both. 
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Ummm you want 50/50 but the reality is you want 10/90. Your partners income has nothing to do with the fact that you want to do less and he does more. You’re about to screw up BIG TIME! If a man is a wonderful partner, wonderful dad… Why are you degrading him by this post? Money will never solve your problems. Unless you spend it on a therapist and learn how to treat others kindly.
A marriage is based on give and take not who makes the most money but you should do things for your family together as close to 50/50 as possible and don’t keep bringing up you make more money on the end that will make him feel less than a man and it could whither away sometimes they just need to be shown how to equally handle the home some men do all the cooking because the wife doesn’t know how
Relationships aren’t always 50/50 
I pay most the bills, but I’m also the one taking care of the kids more (I’m at home) while he works 12 hours some days. We both clean, and we don’t really keep track for the most part. If something needs paid for, it gets paid, if something needs done, it gets done. Yes, it’s important for each person to contribute, but keeping score will just make you both miserable.
I struggle with this also. My husband has always made more but being in a leadership role in our home puts entirely too much pressure on me!
My husband on the other hand handles the pressure just fine and at times welcomes it.
I think people on this thread are being too hard on you.
Not everyone is a born leader, the pressure is too much for you, that’s ok!
You guys have to come up with a solution that works for you. Every relationship is different.
Wow this is mental because your better at him because your a woman so you can look after children clean etc better just wow 
I can tell you one thing it’s not because your woman my husband hats off does well better than me with the kids and the cleaning and basically most things u “think “ a woman should be better at. I honestly just don’t know why use don’t share money it’s about being together . We’ve put money together since day one and it’s always been our money you pay the bills gets what needed and whatever left is there to spend. In all honesty you sound selfish
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All the misogyny in this post aside- everyone who lives in the house needs to help around the house. Your husband is an adult I’m assuming- he should know how to keep his living space clean and how to feed himself and his children.
But I heard a quote the other day that went like “man’s loyalty is tested when he has everything. Woman’s loyalty is tested when he has nothing.” That being said, you’re both adults with kids either figure out a way to work together and be happy and if you absolutely can’t, separate.
I don’t think you need to pressurise your partner to make more, that in itself leads to a whole heap of problems, telling someone they don’t earn enough isn’t fair, just to match your income, remember he use to cover all the bills and you didnt. So he certainly earns enough if he was able to do that, just because your income has increased you shouldn’t make others feel bad about their, esp when he was the one gracefully covering everything so that you were able to raise your child without that worry. Now regarding your child yes that should be equal. But making someone earn more to match you isn’t fair. And can lead to a whole heap of other problems.
I feel you but its even worse when the woman makes less and the man never financially contributes.
You can’t have your cake and eat it too… I run a business and my husband is a SAHD. I pay for everything. It works, we are one. When he was working we split the bills, but he never let me go without so I never let him go without. The money is our money for our family… doesn’t matter who and how much if all our needs are met and were pushing towards the same goals. The second I walk in the door, I’m mom… on the days I work, he cooks dinner… off days I cook… he cleans daily, I pick up what I come across and perfect what bothers me on the weekend. It’s called teamwork… it’s never equal lol some days he does it all some days I do it all but we both have each other’s back.
You are demeaning women and emasculating your husbsand in one fell swoop. Good lord. Hire a cleaner with all of your new piles of cash, stop your whinging and appreciate what you’ve got.
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If you are questioning your relationship than you need to figure out if you want to make it work or not. Of you do then SPEAK UP!! Tell him how you feel just like you did here
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If you feel as though your home is being neglected then maybe hire someone to help with that such as cleaning, laundry ect.so you can have better quality family time or even date nights.
Well then maybe you should say so.he was left too long wothout doing it thats why he needs time to do it properly. But yes you need a break also
Putting that in short term, you are considering ending a relationship that you love over him not cleaning enough. There needs to be a better solution. Sit down in a non angry, non attacking mood and tell him you need change. Communication. Communication. Communication. Get annoyed with it or not, there is something to be said about our elders relationships lasting so long because all they had was face to face Communication. They didn’t text a friend or ask on Facebook. They dealt with it head on. Not saying that by you asking here is bad. Just mean if you love this man and love your little family, there is a way to fix it. If not, then walk away now before it goes any further.
You need to see a counselor for your issues. So he was amazing when he made more money and now you are he isn’t good enough? That’s a whack way of thinking. You tear him down in the post then say he is a good dad and partner.
Our relationship is pretty much 50/50 winter time when his work is slow because he does black top he helps out more with the kids and cooking cause I normally pick up a side job and he’s home when he’s back to work full time I just stick to my regular job and dealing with the house
With your business are you working 40 hours a week? Is he working 40 hours a week? Just because you make more money than he, doesn’t mean he isn’t putting in more hours. Maybe you’re also doing the chores because you have the time for it.
I feel like holding it against him that you make more now is kind of wrong. Now as for household chores, but parties live in the household, both parties are responsible. But which one works a more demanding job? Which one works more hours? Who does what in the house is completely irrelevant to who makes more money.
What do you mean by housework? I do the laundry and dishes as well as bathing the kids and scheduling/taking them to doctor/dentist appointments, but my husband mowes the lawn, maintains the vehicles, does at least half the errands (grocery shopping etc.). So even though I did all the traditional ‘women’s work’ he did the 'man stuff ’ and we occasionally switch to give each other a break. If you mean he actually sits on his butt and does nothing outside of work then the problem is way bigger than money.
I know women who would kill to have the relationship you do. My advice, appreciate what you have.
Stop doing his laundry, cleaning after him etc. He’ll get the hint and start helping more. That or he’ll leave. 
Who cares who makes more, it’s all going to the same place. And you just said that you paid barely nothing at the beginning, it all evens out. It’s not a competition
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Well, all you can do is talk about it. Ask him to do a few specific chores that make it easier on you. Split the household chores 50/50. It’s not hard. And if he’s not very good at it, teach him. But it’s also a case by case basis. If I cook, he does dishes. If he cooks, I do dishes. If I’m available to do the laundry when it needs done, I do it. If not, he does it. Or he put clothes in the washer and dryer and I fold and hang up. He gets up to make the bottles at night so I let him sleep in. He picks up the toys and I vacuum. TEAMWORK.
I feel like this is a conversation you should have had with him a long time ago!
Instead of paying more of the bills then, I would pay the same amount that you were before and start saving the extra money for emergencies or vacation. treat your self to a moms day …like once a month
Why is it always he or she? It’s never “we”. I’ve been married twice and both my marriages were very one sided. With that being said, I want a partner to bring just as much to the table as I do. There is no he should do more or I should.
It should be 50/50 when it comes to kids from day one. If you work less do more around the house no matter who you are. If you are thinking of leaving because you make more now good luck ever being happy again.
Ummmm… working partnerships should be fluid…and the end goal should be success and happiness as a team. Tit for tat will never work… if you’re keeping a scoreboard and tallying up who does what, I think you are on the road to self combusting your relationship.
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What is it that you do from home? Curious because I’d love to be able to work from home and make a living wage.
And so it shifts……… it’s cool when the other person pays more but now that you make more you want to pay 50/50. Do a percentage of income vs. bills and see who is responsible for what portion . I choose to clean because it’s done correctly , not saying my husband doesn’t clean or help but I prefer to do it and it gives me something to hold over his head when I want something 
So you make more and now automatically expect him to be different? It sounds like you think your better than him.
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If he’s not willing to pick I the extra slack that’s a problem, he should be doing an equal amount of hours work at least
I think we’ve all been conditioned to believe certain aspects of a relationship should be a certain way.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Personally I think Any relationship should be shared, housework,finances, looking after children etc. and when one of you can’t do that for genuine reasons you do whatever it takes and carry each other through.
Roles in a relationship don’t need to be defined by gender it’s 2021. Do what makes for a great future together.
Wow… Really? Cause YOU make more money? If he’s putting less hours in… Then he can help do more domestic chores. Its not who pays more does less housework. Ive been a single mom 14 yrs and raised my now autistic 21 yr old… 19 and 16 yr old by myself. Appreciate what you have. Communicate about the chores that need done. $ isnt the determining factlr on who should mop or do laundry. And if you’re petty enough to think a man should make more or you’re done… Then YOU need to reevaluate YOUR relationship. Doesn’t sound like REAL love if THAT is what will make or break things.
i won’t touch the “traditional” part because i’m the head of my house. my partner works while i stay home and do 99.9% of chores but i do ask him to help with baby and do two chores around the house
i also make some income on the side but nothing like what you do
something most people should learn is it’s okay for things not to work out even if you love them. what matters is you both feel valued and respected
House work should be 50/50 as well… doesn’t matter if he makes more money or if you make more money. Just don’t wash his clothes anymore and if he gets mad just say oh I’m sorry I was busy but I can show you how to start a wash. Haha 
Is this for reals? A partnership is a partnership regardless of money amount! Maybe his lack is taking what you owe him for when he paid more if the bills this is petty and I feel like nothing he will ever do will be good enough because you will always expect more good luck x
Tell me you were raised in an old fashioned family dynamic without telling me
I’m sorry I feel like u should love him for him and all he does and sometimes they xant handle it like us women
In a perfect world with perfect people, it should be 50/50. Maybe there are beings like that on another planet, but I don’t know of any on earth 2021.
Girlfriend count your blessings. Just because now your making more doesn’t mean tomorrow you will. At home business are unstable at times and there may be slow months where he will be ask to pick up the slack. When babies are little men sometimes have a hard time handling them because they afraid to break them. Like I said COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS
If it has been this way for years, then change is hard to come by. BUT if everything else is fine overlook who pays more of the bills. Pick your battles and overlook some things.
I see alot of I ME MINE and HIS going on ITS YALLS YALL ARE A COUPLE SO THERE FOR YALLS BUSINESS IS SUCCESSFUL when ur in a relationship u no longer have mine and yours its y’all’s together bc y’all are in a relationship to build each other if not then y’all need to go y’all’s different ways
It’s about hours spent, not money earned. When I was a SAHM, he earned all the $, but I worked all day too. We divided chores once he got home, unless he was hurting. You’re either a team or not.
I work more hours right now, but he still earns more money. Who cooks? Him. Who cleans? Nobody. I’m gimpy, so who walks the dogs? Him again. It’s not about money.
I have been married for 26 years and so many people have no clue what it’s like to be married.
He should then be helping with the child and chores around the house, or our going to be burnt out quick
Do you know what I’d do if my wife made more than me? Vacation more frequently and try her to make even more than me…
Also, outside of literally nursing the baby there is literally nothing we can’t do. We do laundry 60/40 to 40/60 and I’ll clean big (cleaning up kitchen and appliance stuff, detectors, toys and clothes picked up, etc) while she cleans small (vacuum). When she’s home she’ll cook (because she is better) and I always do dishes.
Nothing wrong with not wanting to be the only one doing… But that’s not the problem, cause if it were that would be all you’re asking for, no you now fill above him, and it’s an issue for you, your man needing to be something, which he is, just not in your eyes, which is kind of sh!tty. Cause if your business went under right now, you think your guy would be like well now you’re nothing, I don’t want you, which technically seeing as you’re feeling the same way towards him, you’d deserve… Be careful them high horses you sit on, can & will be knocked out from under you. Honestly if he is a good dad, a good partner, you don’t deserve him. Men always get a bad rep, for when their up, treating those whom were with them when they weren’t, horribly & discarding. But as you can seen some women are just as bad. Pathetic partners y’all make. Hope he wakes up & leaves you to find the “better”… cause it’ll just be more of you ending with what you really deserve 
. Responses with he needs to be a better dad, again if the issue was only that he’s not , then yes, of course… No the only issue is you see him as not making more than you & not being the SAHD … He’s either the man or the woman of the house… I agree you may need a psychiatrist yourself. Still think he deserves better…
If you’re making that much money, why not pay for a cleaning women and not worry about it?
They should help. I am disabled and he does absolutely nothing.
Y’all been together years. He supported you while you built your business. If I were in your shoes I would consider it OUR success, not just mine but his too. Don’t get me wrong, I have achievements of my own, but I know that without the help and support of my fiance I couldn’t of done it. Appreciate the person who was not only there for you before your success but who also supported you and your family financially so you COULD focus on building your business. It sounds to me like you’ve got a man who’s real to me, if you have issues with how often helps around the house then that’s a topic that should be addressed.
I think ur being a bit of a selfish hypocrite if u want my true opinion im the same way "old fashioned " id rather my fiance work and make the bread and me clean cook take care of our kids and work 2 or 3 days a week and thats what we do at the moment but there was a time before I had our son and I was pregnant that he was at a low point in his life and I had to carry the weight he only worked odd jobs he could find and I worked 40 + hours a week while pregnant still had to clean but I didn’t leave him why because no relationship is always gonna be 50/50 someone is always gonna do more then the other yes he should help with the kids and cleaning but just because you have a better job then him now doesn’t mean u should leave him he never left you when he was the breadwinner think about it in reverse you would of been devastated if he left u while he was up on his game but now that your up and he’s still at the same you wanna leave him? Doesnt make sense to me I mean unless ur unhappy and this is ur excuse to leave then idk its up to u anyway do what makes u happy but remember he was there for you when u didn’t have alot
It’s what moms do, we take care of the house chores and the babies.
So it’s this a thing where whoever makes the most money does the less chores ?
There is a couple thing’s here at play once old school values you want too hold on to because of how you were taught. That is giving you an unrealistic view. This isn’t grandma’s world. Pushing him too make more money probably is doing more harm than good…no it is it’s demoralizing too Him. You could have kicked him in the nuts it would have probably felt better too him and his man hood. 2 yeah women are naturally better with housework, Kids, juggling ect. Maybe it didn’t work because of your approach on this subject too. Sry but no my Man isn’t great at cleaning but when he trys… Theirs acknowledgement and appreciation and a little extra lovin’
want too know why? EVEN WHEN IT’S NOWHERE NEAR MY STANDARDS… BECAUSE HE TRIED AND HE’S A MAN!!! Want to know the best line I apparently ever told him… months after him trying too clean me acknowledging it the whole nine he understood and I even got straight up my level cleaning from him. It took a while but he watched what I did and learned once he was appreciated. I walked in the door and told him he just made my panties wet you know he hasn’t dropped the ball since! He’s a great dad and partner for you you just need to appreciate and learn how too communicate that. If these rolls were reversed you’d of walked knowing your worth. Be thankful He’s still standing there. Yes I make a lot more than my husband. I pay all the bills he pays smaller stuff groceries fun nights out with or without kids ect. I’ve never brought up money because whatever I make is also his and vice-versa. What’s leftover is play money or whatever.
But it was ok when he was paying most of the bills. Now 50/50 isn’t good enough?
So does this guy like not help at all with house responsibilities and the baby ? Cause if that’s the case yeah totally get where you are coming from but other wise 
wow
If you’re now doing all the work and doing housework that isn’t fair. Make him do housework.
Hire someone to deep clean your house twice a month! It is so worth it!
Pool money together , pay bills and have another account for “fun, savings” etc , split the housework . Relationships are 50/50 no matter the gender
If you’re want your 1950’s life… quit your business.
If you like your business and the money, stop forcing your husband to earn more - it’s not so easy to just “earn more” like holy hell.
For another, stop babying him and thinking he’s a toddler who can’t be a productive adult. There’s no such ‘women are better at cleaning and men are better at earning money’ that’s a BS narrative we need to stomp out.
He’s perfectly capable of cleaning and cooking and raising the children he helped create.
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What time period are you living in? You sound shallow AF
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ask yourself if the problem is really the disparity in income or the disparity in effort in your relationship / home
many of us grew up with the idea that the man has to be the breadwinner. He definitely doesn’t. For one thing, women fought really hard to make enough income to support ourselves, let alone anyone else. also, finances and employment have been affected globally with the pandemic. if you are in the United States, finding a job or a higher-paying job is not exactly easy
ask yourself if the reason you believe he needs to be the breadwinner is because how you have been conditioned to think or because you are actually unsatisfied and have financial difficulty with his income. if his income was high enough to meet all of your needs but still less than yours, would you still have a problem?
what I’m reading sounds more like you feel you could justify him not helping as much around the house as long as he was making more money. what I’m reading is that is a combination of his income combined with his lack of effort in the home that have you feeling taken advantage of
figure out what is really bothering you and then where to go from there
but no, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with the woman earning more
It’s 2021. We fought really really hard for equality. hell, we’re still fighting to be paid the same as our male counterparts
And now that we have the ability to outearn someone we’re going to complain that men aren’t earning more? in this economy‽‽‽
and this might be the unpopular take, but if the income ratio is really that important to you that it is a deal-breaker, then you really should leave. because you are asking for something that no matter how much the other person tries, they may never be able to obtain. you can always want a partner that makes more than you, but in this economy and this job market, that’s not always attainable. and if you know for certain that it is a deal-breaker no matter how the rest of the relationship goes, then you need to be upfront with that when discussing any and all deal-breakers
Really doubt him making more money would really even change anything if you’re unhappy about him not doing his part. If he just doesn’t know how to do household tasks, show him because he may have never been taught. If you simply don’t like making more $ than he does that could easily be solved by taking a lower paying job.
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Even when he was paying more bills he still should’ve been cleaning, tf?! Sickening the lengths people will go to defend a useless nxm.
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If a man posted this shit people would riot…grow up and decide what you want in life smh
Do you want it to work? Then have a discussion
If you don’t want it work- then use it as an excuse to end the relationship
What is the actual problem here?
If a man said this women would be there with their pitch forks lmao
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Me and my hubby are a team! What’s mine is ours, what’s his is ours for our life together😊
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Who works more hours? Who has the more physically demanding job?
Hmmm, did I just board the time machine and enter the 50s?
Go 50/50 on everything. That includes housework. Men can do housework too.
That’s life… lol
Mom/ women
Take care of the house
It’s really just how it goes 
Is it perfect no
But we do it 
Before being. A SAHM
I worked more or just as much as he did
I did the BULK of everything
That’s life
Own it
Be proud
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Relationships aren’t 50 50. They’re like, 80 20.
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Naturally better at cleaning is where you lost me
Get some help. Use the money to lighten load of chores. Then enjoy
Hire a house cleaner and a nanny. Then enjoy…
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Sounds like you are ready for the conversation. Just remember that he is your partner. It isn’t always 50/50. Good luck!
You should see a therapist about your issues. 
If she is making such great money now hire a maid.
I’m just thinking when this guy wins the lotto he should leave this woman
He should run there’s a “problem” and he doesn’t even know it. Sad
appreciate what you have… I can’t even comment anymore Than that.
Good luck finding that now days appreciate what you have this man took care of you for so long now you got a business you want to send him packing cuz you think hes not good enough smh
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