hire a maid once a week at least or what u need…problem solved.
His issue if he doesn’t like it because u can’t do it all…
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You literally answered your own question 
This… this is why i prefer to stay single. Making problems out of thin air.
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Dang, somebody got too big for their britches!
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Don’t emasculate him about your different salaries. Just bc you are doing your thing financially, that does not give you the right to make him think he has to make more to keep up with you and your expectations. I have always made more than most men I have dated, but you NEVER throw that in their faces. It never works well when a man can’t feel like a provider for his family. I second what most of the comments I have read say…hold tight to your good man, he is truly a rarity in this day and age. Also, men don’t see things as we do, they need clear concise directions on what you need from him. So tell him what you need from him in the way of help at home. Then we he doesn’t attempt to deliver what you need, that might be a problem. But if he is trying, that man loves you and he wants to do right by you, and his child. If you can’t appreciate him, let him go so someone else can.
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I dont think its fair to say woman are naturlly better at caring for babys ect that isnt always the case i honestly dont see a problem except maybe just ask him to do more arouund the home not everything in life is perfect but urs sounds pretty perfrct to me
There’s nothing wrong with what you said everyone has different terms of relationship 
if you don’t see it working if he doesn’t change those things & you guys can’t work it out then let him go be great with someone else & find you someone on a higher level that you feel is equal to your worth
If it ain’t broke don’t fix it.
I feel that both people no matter who works more or makes more they both need to help around the house it’s both their home and both their mess no one should have to clean up after a grown person period
Don’t make him feel like shit because you now make more than he does.
Kids and household chores are both an adults responsibility and something you both should be doing.
I say Humble yourself. You never know what the future has in store you got it and you can lose it. Sounds like you got in to your head your better than him now. He actually deserves to be with someone who appreciates a little more
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speak up and tell him he needs to pull his weight around the house and with the baby. if both partners work then both should also be sharing the other responsibilities. women aren’t naturally better at housework and taking care of kids, men just don’t pull their weight.
Honestly these “gendered” household and child rearing chores are so old fashioned and need to be unlearned and disregarded by our society completely, they’re not helpful at all. While women tend to have a natural knack for nurturing, fathers can be more than competent caretakers of their children when given the opportunity. And everyone should clean up after themselves. My opinion only, the money issue shouldn’t be an issue at all and letting it become one can ruin your marriage/relationship. People really put too great an emphasis on money when in actuality it doesn’t matter much at all. Maybe private therapy and couples therapy would be a good idea
If you don’t show a man you appreciate him regardless he will end up leaving you or stop trying with anything your asking him to do. I totally get the 50/50 with the baby and cleaning and Bill’s I 100% agree with that no doubt. You need to love him for what he can do and what he had down and is doing.
I read something about a female who is on top its harder for her to find a man bc her confidence and wants are alot more than they use to be or some shit like that. If that man is loving you correctly then love that man back. Real love is hard to find dude. Dont let that man go bc of that. Be thankful he has a job
We share a bank account. Its the only bank account we have! All money made goes into it. All bills are paid from it. We been together 17years married for 14 this June. Its OUR money. Doesnt matter who makes what.
As far as chores and to dos. Before kids we split it. If i cooked he did dishes if he cooked I did dishes. I swept mopped vacummed he do trash recycling we both took turns on bathrooms. After kids…once 5 and up…they got a chore. My now 17 yr old does the dishes trash recycling. 9yr old clears table twins(6) help pick up toys and show area and help bring clothes back to their drawers. Each takes a turn setting table for dinner. I nownhave 17 and 9yrnold help cook dinners. Theybalsi help with laundry. Husband does his own clothes I do mine and everyone elses but the kids help put their own away. Kids help feed pets.
But yeah before kids we just worked together to get the stuff done after we got home from work. Back then we shared a bank account too. I made more and didnt matter
Now he makes more. Doesnt matter. Whats IN the account belongs to us both. Pays the bills feeds the family and we save and we allow selfs to have spending money per month.
Tryn to get gifts without the other one knowing is our only issue regarding finances.
One account. Deposit funds into it and be one unit. No reason to separate funds!
My thoughts are you’re nuts. And this thought process is quite sexist in this age of equality. Good for you that you make more money. Shove it in his face and he will ultimately leave you. You should both pay bills , you should care for your child equally and you should both care for your home. In my house we both make the bed, we both do laundry, he takes care of the outside and I do most of the inside minus what he decides to do while I’m at work and he is home caring for our son.
My issue here is the obvious. The unaddressed deeply rooted sexism that you are applying to the situation.
So like, he also works, he pays toward the house. Somehow because you make more money than him you now, what? Is he working the same number of hours as you? When you made less money were you working the same amount of time as you are now? If the issue is the money you need to rethink yourself. You cannot make more money than someone and suddenly feel “better than” or make him feel like “less than” because you became the breadwinner.
You could stay home, and he could pay the bills. He could stay home and you pay the bills.
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Thats the problem with todays society.
No one is happy unless they are both working.
People want to playhouse.
But dont want any of the responsibilities.
So what if you make more then he does, you looking for more income from him to get more child support if it dont work out or what?.
Maybe instead of bitching about it have a conversation with him.
Its all about communication in relationships.
If you make enough to support the family then without worrying about 1 bill then see if he wants to be stay at home father.
Todays society is all about greed and that is what this sounds like.
When you play house there is no such thing as my paycheck is mine and her paycheck is hers its called ours.
I encourage my husband to always do what he can to make more money, and he agrees. He has a good union job and he wants to keep climbing the ladder. The best I can do is be encouraging and give him reasons to want to be financially stable for our whole lives.
Think you know the answer already.
I have a boyfriend who since day one said if you’re expecting me to pay your bills I’m not for you and I don’t expect anyone to pay my bills so I didn’t care but I did tell him since day one also if you expect to get fully catered too and get food , meals prepped clothes washed and folded and ironed I’m not doing it . & there’s no way a kid will only be mine and I will not be a stay at home wife he can help me get daycare and all .
We all help each other out, no one takes advantage on anyone
i think it’s unfair if you’re paying the long haul and still the only one expected to do the homemaking. however, your view on “the man should make more / pay more” is unreasonable.
I’m in the same boat
Actually he should leave you! You are the problem
He better start helpin around tbe house n with baby!
If you don’t see it working out long term, why stay? As for the rest you could hire help?..
I was in the same boat… relationship ended I was burned out taking care of my kids and his and paying most of the bills
What balance in the dynamic are you referring to?
He make as much money as you or your equal in household duties?
Exactly how high are you?
I was married to a man who paid for everything and was a cheater, liar and was not the best father. So count your blessings for what you do have which seems like a pretty good guy. The grass ain’t always greener girl
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I get the vibe that now ur doing better than him, u think ur better than him… 
idk just a vibe I got reading sorry not sorry. Sounds like u should work on urself. That “more money” got to u. Humble urself honey.
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Hire a house cleaner and babysitter
So… This seems slightly sexist 
or maybe I’m reading it incorrectly. Honestly I feel like you and your partner need to sit down and talk
He deserves better than you!
#LosingAGoodManBeingPetty
If you have enough money from your business then hire help. Win win.
I agree he needs to start helping around in the house but he should have started that long ago even before you started making money what its sounding like is you have become money hungry the more you have the more you want enough is just never enough for you to actually encourage your boyfriend to start making more…
I’m sorry but people like you are gross.
I think he should dump your ungrateful azz!!!
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Um I think that the idea of a relationship is to love one another regardless of what they bring to the table . 
this sounds more like a business deal than a marriage
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First of all it sounds like you should be single it doesn’t sound like you appreciate what you have whatsoever. Second of all I’m sorry you grew up thinking that women are just naturally meant to cook clean do laundry have dinner ready and take care of the baby but that’s not a logical way of living there is no such thing as gender roles like that you make them and you put them in your own home and that’s a crazy way to raise a baby. My son and daughter have the exact same chores they both take the garbage out they both do the laundry they both clean the floors. They both help in the kitchen with dinner and they damn sure both clean the dishes. My husband works almost 70 hours a week and I’m a stay-at-home mom I don’t bring a dollar into this house and my husband does more cleaning than I do because it’s something he enjoys. My husband has more patience than I could ever have. He was naturally meant to be a parent I had to teach myself how to do this. But it honestly sounds like you just don’t appreciate what you have I’m sorry
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I’m the breadwinner in my relationship simply because my partner lost his job due to Covid. Sometimes he doesn’t do housework and I do it. I don’t mind doing the chores and looking after our child because we’re a team. Not once have I thought that because I’m making more money than him that he should try earn, or that he should do the majority of the housework. I love him and our child to bits and it never crosses my mind “is this going to work” just because one of us does more housework than the other or earns more than the other. I enjoy working and making sure our house is nice for us and he does his share when I ask. Communication is key
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- It’s fine who ever makes what ever. Don’t let it stress you.
- You both need to take part in cleaning if both working. Shouldn’t just be on one person.
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So when you were making less you still considered it equal but now that you’re making more you’re somehow better? I mean you can be single and do everything on your own if thats really the biggest issue in your relationship.
Have you had a conversation about household duties? Finances? Did you expect him to know that by paying your share you expected more from him?
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Wow. I have no words. You sound awful. Now just because you make more, you’re throwing a fit? Even when he was there for you before you made all this money? Grow up.
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“make more money!” as if it’s the easiest thing ever. So you want him to work a full time job and a part time job on the side? Like you literally want him to have no time at home with you or the baby?
Men aren’t meant to make money in the same way that women aren’t meant to do all the cleaning and taking care of the kids. You are asking too much of him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he left you.
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Women, you have some issues. You need to get out of the “Men should be the breadwinner”
mentality.Even if you earn more than him, it doesn’t mean he has nothing to give. He probably has the most to give than any other high-earning men. Cooking-Cleaning-Washing-taking care of offsprings are basic skills and responsibilities that every human being has to carry off regardless of their gender. He can take care of his children, clean house and wash dishes as efficiently as you. He can probably love you more than any other high-earning men. You are a misogynistic piece of shit and he probably deserves a better women than you who can respect him regardless of his financial condition.
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If it was me, just my opinion I’d be fine with it. Tuck it back for rainy day or savings whatever. Most men are prideful and their job is essentially their identity. My mans pride would be wounded if he knew he wasn’t providing for our family the way I was. And also, men aren’t exactly raised and taught how to take care of the house to know they need to help.
I get you wanting him to help out with kids and household chores he should absolutely help. But asking someone to start making more money ??? You were ok with how much he was making when he was the bread winner? But you’re coming off as a narcissist because you have this “successful business”.
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This is why I cringe when I see a woman telling another woman (who says she doesn’t want to have any more children) “Awww, but you might meet a man one day, and HE’s gonna want to have children!” 
Oh? And can you look into your crystal ball and tell me if he’s gonna HELP take care of these children? Actually spend time with them? Or will that be something that the woman has to do on her own? Because if so, what’s the point in all of this “You should give that man a baby” b.s. Lol. I know MARRIED women who say their husbands do nothing to help take care of the kids, and it’s made them feel like they’re single mothers. It ruined the marriage of my former neighbor…and she had two sons and was dealing with behavior problems with them.
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Please tell me this is a joke. I spent 4 years as a housewife so my husband could pursue his career. Now once I finish school, I’ll make more than him. And he made enough to provide more than well for us. And he has zero problems with me making more because we are a team. While I was a housewife I obviously did more domestic and parenting duties… but once I make more, it it be more 50/50. If your spouse can’t understand that dynamic then find someone else.
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I’m so confused.
You say that now you’re doing better financially, he needs to up his game and earn more so that he’s ‘the man of the house’.
Yet you want to do things 50/50?
I honestly think you need to relook at things and figure our what makes you happy, because I can’t imagine anything he does will satisfy you.
It won’t work for you two cause you have already sabotaged your relationship in your mind and brought it to frutition in this post the only thing left for you to do know is end it
Firstly what business 
And secondly yes of course.
Just help the bloke out with learning how to do household stuff. It’s society that’s let them down by not teaching them (or even many women!) basic life skills. But if you’re both contributing 50:50 it should be that way in all aspects. If you’re contributing more then you pick up less house stuff.
It’s 100% not something that should ever break a good couple up?!
Have a new take on things? Make a schedule of who does what on what days, try and split the chores + child duties, take turns, calling it quits because he doesn’t make as much money as you is such a poor excuse to leave
I don’t think the dollar amount earned should be the parameter. I mean, if one partner can earn twice as much by doing a few hours on a computer each day, as the other person does in 12 hrs of manual labor, should the 2nd one have to also do the housework and cooking? A persons value and contribution shouldn’t be based on their earning potential, regardless of gender.
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Well if you actually think women are better at household chores then he probably goes along with that.
My mothers has been carrying my father for 40+ years. Its a choice by love & i am their only child.
What do you mean it didn’t work out around the house? Did he not help or did you not want him to help because you didn’t like the way he did it? If the latter, you need to accept that he may do things around the house differently than you and that if you’re expecting him to do it, you’ll have to accept his way of doing it.
Prime example of women becoming unhappy with the same situation they were happy with at one time …. He should find himself another partner
Can I just say how ignorant you are for saying “the woman is naturally better at things he can’t do like cleaning laundry and taking care of a baby” men can definitely do those things and if that’s HIS CHILD HE SHOULD NATURALLY be able to take care of her!! Tf type of 1950s relationship you living in my dear 
bc no
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Fk boys don’t have a job most the time let alone help at home or pay bills shit my baby daddy a dead beat don’t pay shit not even call his kids bro can’t even send me 5 bucks lmfao its been over 4 years!! you my girl sound like u have an awesome man he helps with bills probably groceries and what he can he has a job that’s all that matters what bc u make more then him u don’t know if its gonna work out wow he is helping you look at US SINGLE MOMS WE WISH WE HAD THAT!!! I think you are the problem hunny best of luck finding Mr Rich 
Sounds like he needs to file for a divorce
Please tell me this is a joke. I’ve never seen such internalized misogyny in my life.
Too worried about who has what role.
Appreciate a good man. Trust me, its hard to find someone that is a good husband, father. Nobody is perfect. Hire help with the house. Hire a mothers helper. Invest in yourself and your relationship. Also, train me how to start my own business too,
Please! 
Hire a housekeeper and enjoy the extra money.
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What did i just read
I can NOT stress this enough, COMMUNICATE!!
This is utterly ridiculous
I think he should just throw you completely away:roll_eyes:
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Whinner suck it up and make it work.
Sounds like your ungrateful
Thoughts? Shut the fuck up
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Sheesh. If I was him I’d do ya one better and leave your ass.
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Hire a housekeeper 
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I hope he leaves her. She sounds delirious 
Smh
Hire a cleaner. Get a Roomba. Use the extra money to make your life easier.
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Wow!! If you lost it all tomorrow, would he still be there? It’s complete bullshit that men can’t be good at child care, laundry, etc. I’m the bread winner in our house and my fiance is a helluva great help to me! He cooks, cleans, does laundry, takes the kids to school/appointments. Is the fact that you’re making more$$really the only reason you’re unhappy in your marriage?
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I’ve always made more than my partners and have always been in charge, usually completely, of running the household and taking care of the kids. I definitely get resentful sometimes but I try to focus on the things I’m grateful for from my partner. I point out to them and myself all the times I seethem going above and beyond or the other ways they add to our home. I don’t think finances or taking care of the house needs to be 50/50. Obviously I’d love it but I’d be forever single if that’s what determined if I stayed with a partner.
I’m a very independent person so as long as my love tanks are being filled in ok with doing the majority of the work because I’d be doing it if we weren’t together.
Maybe read The 5 Love Languages together so you can both learn to speak each other’s love language. Sometimes they feel like they are doing a lot but because it’s not things that are important to you, you feel like they aren’t doing anything.
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Households are compromises just like relationships, I stay home and my husband works but I know that if the tables were turned he would absolutely take care of our household and child in a heartbeat, the money thing shouldn’t matter at all because it should all go into a budgeted pot anyway imo
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If he’s loving and supportive. Why let the housework get to you? Relationships are not all about money and who makes more or whatnot. If it’s what works for you family then why change it? If you are making more. Hire a house cleaner for every month or so. Atleast it will put less stress on you guys and more into appreciating what you all have.
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There is nothing wrong with making more than your partner and contributing more financially. But you’re both parents and you both live and make messes so you should both be equally contributing to child care and household chores. If you need help and he won’t provide it, take your extra money and pay for a professional to clean for you.
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Be very grateful with what you have. If you are in a great relationship, let it go.
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Hire a nanny, and a housekeeper. Your attitude is kind of awful. There is nothing wrong with making more or expecting him to help out but you are creating a problem where none exists by making a big deal about who makes more.
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It can work if he picks up the slack. If the bills are 50/50 then housework and child care need to be 50/50 too. It honestly didn’t work out with my daughter’s father and this was one of the biggest reasons. I pay all the bills, do 90% of housework and child care and it’s not right.
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Money is the Devil!!! If your concern is money then you need to give him a job, if it’s chores then hire a nanny! If you have a man that is working and helps you with kids and home in any way at all, you hold onto him! To say the man should be equal or higher is BS! Y’all are a team and a family! All money goes to the same team and is spent by the same team! It’s not divided into who made what! Love is what you need to be focused on, not money!
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Ridiculous. Love has nothing to do with money. That is some low grade crap right there. You sound so ungrateful. He’s amazing but he doesn’t have a thick enough pocket book? Come on. This is the 21st century. You either love him or you don’t. Don’t put money in the way of a good thing because of you lost all your money tomorrow that good man would still be there too support you!
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Don’t ever let money destroy your family. That’s definitely not love. You should be supportive of him if he’s happy with his employment. I made a lot more money than my exhusband and it bothered him. He would complain about how much I made. I’m a nurse and he was a teacher. He covered our health insurance but I paid most of the bills. When he would complain I would tell him to be a nurse or get a different job if it bothered him.
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Do you let him help you? sometimes we think we can only do it and leave men out. Ask him to take care of things, and let him do it.
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U need to think of life differently… at the moment ur pretty much telling him he’s not good enough because he doesn’t earn more than you! Starting ur own business was ur own choice and not everyone has the same skills as each other. Maybe he is trying the best he can but in ur way of thinking you don’t see it. U don’t see it lasting unless he earns more than u but say he was out in the car and had a crash and was paralysed would you help him or tell him he needs to find a job he can still do because he isn’t earning enough? Surely love is more important than money… or if he left you tomorrow for someone else would you not worry to much about it or would it upset you? Because then you would have to do it all on ur own. Yes life should be in a balance but unless He treats you bad and isn’t willing to help in anyway and doesn’t love you then I think you need to be more grateful of what you have and stop worrying about olden day idolistics.
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My husband and I have had different roles at different times. Things are generally not 50/50, and that’s ok. But if you feel that strongly… it just sounds like you’re unhappy and this is what you’re focusing on. I mean, it’s not like he sits home and does nothing all day, you just want more… maybe you have different priorities, and that’s ok. But you shouldn’t be together
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When you say him helping with the house/kids didn’t work out…was it that he didn’t do the tasks or he didn’t do it the way you would have…just because he didn’t do it your way doesn’t mean it doesn’t get done… If you want him to do the task you have to give him control of it not expect it to be done the way you would do it.
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Maybe not rub it in his face that you make more money? Telling him to find a job that makes more when at one point he was carrying most of the financial weight might make him not want to try to help around the house. Don’t let financial problems ruin your marriage!
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Honestly it’s your relationship. And you know what you want. It sounds like you want your life to look a particular way with your partner and he’s not fitting that picture. Look at it this way, 20 years from now what do you want that relationship to look like? Are you willing to work towards that? Do you believe he can achieve that? My husband and I have a traditional partnership when it comes to our marriage. He takes care of us financially, I take care of the kids and the home, if I choose to work my income is only to supplement our lifestyle not support it and yet he still comes home and offers help with the kids and chores. It works for us. You do what works for you. Although, I wholeheartedly believe its bullshit that you support the household and still have to do the housework and childcare 90% by yourself. FUCK THAT. Like you might as well be alone.
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Would you be asking this if he made more? I don’t think it matters. We pay equally no matter who makes more.
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For years, I earned more than my husband. It wasn’t like 6 figures, but noticebly higher. When this began, we have been married for 7 years. 4½ years later, he found a job where he became the noticeable breadwinner. We went from him earning more, to me earning more, to him earning more. We have now been married for 12½ years a nd have a nearly 4-year-old daughter. We have always seen each other as equals, always having an equal say, which is worth more than breadwinner status.
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Personally, I believe that no matter who makes more money, taking care of the children and household chores is 50/50.
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So… is it that you need more money, or you feel uncomfortable being the breadwinner AND you’re doing more housework? Why does it matter who makes more, if you have what you need?
It sounds like maybe in the past, you asked him to pitch in and you were unhappy with the results. If it’s a matter of him not doing things “right” then you’ll probably never be happy with the way he chooses to contribute to the household. If you nitpick and criticize the way he does his work, he won’t want to help. Sometimes it’s better to hold your tongue and be happy with the work he puts in.
If it’s just that you feel, as the wife, that you should be making less, why start your own business?
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Would he be there for you if your business went up in flames tomorrow? If so that matters more than money or status. Money and income changes it’s not the base of a relationship
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Yes. I make twice what my husband does and cover a majority of the bills. We’ve been married for 21 years. And the idea that men can’t be good at things like laundry, cleaning & child care is total sexist bullshit. We both work and split all the chores 50/50. The only thing he does more of than me is when our home needs repairs.
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I’m just a little confused, but I know this is an anonymous post. So before, you were paying a small amount of the bills, while taking care of most of the household chores. You prefer that? Or no?.. but you decided to open a business why exactly? I guess my thing is, is that you want to make more money but keep it to yourself or have your husband help more with the kids? Or maybe you never wanted to be a housewife but allowed your husband to play those roles for years. I think these things should be discussed prior to marriage. In our house, we’ve always been equal with taking care of the kids & sharing money. I can imagine it being hard for a man to step up after years of living a certain way
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