Hire a house keeper? That could help out a bit. Doesnt even have to be super frequent.
Seriously? What difference does it make who earns more?!? Are you a team? Do funds go into one pot?
If you’re keeping tabs, stop, or no, it won’t work out.
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Sorry but to say women do chores better is stupid.
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Omigosh the 50s are calling. Seriously. 
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Hire a housekeeper to clean the house.
Just because you make more money, doesn’t mean he automatically should be in charge of taking care of the house. I think it depends on the job. If he’s busting his ass all day long and you work from a computer and get to sit and relax. Do you honestly think he should come home and clean the house as well. And maybe he doesn’t have a job where he is physically exhausted at the end of the day. But maybe he enjoys his job. If he were to find another job that pays more but absolutely hates. You honestly think that would be better for your relationship. Idk all you details but I would say if you have a partner who is a good father and partner. Maybe I wouldn’t complain that he doesn’t have a good enough paying job for you. And would just be thankful you have a wonderful man in your life. 
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Wow… to me u sound selfish… seems to me u have your prioritys up ya arse … just saying
Yep. Been the breadwinner most of my adult life.
Don’t get suggestions on Facebook. Talk to your partner not people on here period.
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Sounds like you don’t really love him if that’s what’s making you question your relationship. You are ridiculous lady. Let him go find someone who will appreciate the loving partner and father he is. You’re ungrateful, undeserving and rude asf.
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Sounds like you need to grow up and realize he is a grown man who can do chores and stuff, and if he acts ignorant then make him do it and tell him what hes doing wrong, if the money thing is that much of a problem for you then you cant keep acting like it’s his fault just because you started a business and it took off, you either love the man or you dint and I dont think money actually has that much to do with it, you sound like you’re looking for a reason to be unhappy
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It usually doesn’t work out if you continue on that path. Both of you need to bring something to the table that you happy with but also that is beneficial to the relationship. Obviously you are not happy about what he is bringing and if he cares he could try to give good reasons why he can’t do more, which you could understand and accept or he could actually try and bring more to the table.
But it was all ok when he was paying most of the bills. Wow sounds like all you care about is money. I wouldn’t be surprised if he leaves you.
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Well, first off, every relationship is unique as couples can agree to different things that might/might not work for them…however, all I can say to you, is that no one in the whole web will be able to give you sound advice other than to be honest with your partner, hold your ground if you must and just that, youe communication has to bw with him, don’t ask other people for things that are personal, because then they sode with you and tell you to dump him and hostile things that will make you ahead and get all aggressive and things won’t come out as lovingly and sound…
Absolutely! It just depends on your personal preferences. If YOU don’t want to be the breadwinner then obviously your dynamic is different.
Wow you sound like he needs to let you go.
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He’s a shitty husband and partner if he’s not contributing equally to your family. This includes running the household and especially childcare. If he’s unwilling to be an equal partner in your life/family you either need to accept it or move on. It’s really that simple. Since you’re clearly unhappy with the current arrangement, it’s probably time to let him go. Since you’re paying more and doing more, losing the dead weight will more than likely be freeing.
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Sharon Girling totally agree with you.
I pray this man runs before it is to late. Who flipping cares who makes more money? Be thankful both of you all have jobs and can support your family.
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grow up you are a partnership and very sexist of you to say that housework and child rearing is a womans job. bet you tell him if he does housework its not right he will learn
Just wow. Seems like you’re kind of rubbing it in his face and trying to make him feel less of a man now. You’ll do nothing but make him resent you.
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Did you cut his balls off too?
I work too but my husband pays 100% of the bills & I do all household chores except take out trash & scraps. He also does all yard work & house maintenance. When we go out to eat most of the time I pay & sometimes I buy groceries & household items. He said if I wanna work I can & if not I can stay home & still enjoy his money. Kids grown & gone. It doesn’t bother either one of us . He has a boat, a truck, zero turn mower, lots of tools & can spend what he wants.
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If you make so much money and you want the roles reversed, why don’t you pay him part of your paycheck to do the things you want him to do. There, problem solved. 
Now your bank account is smaller and his is larger.
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Tell him bills and housework/raising kid is 50/50 period. Its his home and kid too. I would not just up and leave him. Have a conversation and set ground rules and go from there. If after he chooses not to help then decide your options. You should not be expected to pay most of the bills and still do all the “womens” work as ppl call it. My husband works more then I do and still does his share if not more sometimes when I’m slacking. Thats what a partnership/ marriage is equal and when one might slack the other helps pick up but it should never just fall on one person otherwise you might as well do it yourself.
I feel like the thinking that the nam having to bring home more money is an antiquated way of thinking & maybe try to put that on the back burner & think of ways that you can make your relationship flourish without bearing so much of the burden. He most likely isn’t going to change much as far as household things go, so I would consider taking some of your newly increased income & investing in a HOUSE CLEANER. You will not be disappointed. Also, maybe split the laundry up. You do yours & babies, he can do his own. You continue to take on the majority of baby duty because things aren’t going to change overnight.
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House cleaning service
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He needs to help around the house and with the baby! Not much of a man if he can’t step up to those responsibilities. Doesn’t matter about the money.
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Since you make so much more than him buy a house cleaner?
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Don’t make him feel less than bc he makes less. I’m sure he didn’t do that to u. Don’t devalue what he does do. If u need the help,speak about it. Be open in communication as long as your communication is healthy and clean and doesn’t make either of u feel little in comparison . U both work. U both have children and responsibilities. Come together and make this a functional unit that makes both of u happy. If u make a man feel like less than a man u won’t have one. No man I know wAnts to feel like they aren’t enough. As well as no woman wants to feel that either
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I just don’t understand why or how people think the way they think anymore. 
I’m blown away by some of the things I see on Facebook nowadays
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Here we both work, my husband makes 3 times my salary…we equally take care of the kids (he takes the morning: dressing them up, making breakfast, preparing them and driving them to daycare) and I do the evening (picking them up from daycare, bath and dinner) we both take care of putting them to bed. With regards to chores: we pay a lady that comes once every 2 weeks to do vaccuming, floors and bathrooms. The rest of the chores we split according to what we like to do best: i do lundry, he goes grocery shopping, i do most cooking except on special occasions, he does yard work/snow removal/house maintenance… Find a balance 
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Outside chores means a lot, taking care of vehicles and such.
Sometimes a relationship isn’t always 50/50. If you love ur man and want to be with him that’s all that matters
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I mean who cares who makes more money. My so makes more but i still ask him to help with the house and kids.
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Looks like if he wont step up to help with the house work and your child now that your helping with finances then at least you know , you’ll be alright if you move foward with your life without him😂 sorry not trying to be cruel but honestly he should step up around the house !
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Forcing him to make more money seems pretty disrespectful. He may not be in a position to do so. He should absolutely be splitting household chores and caregiving with you though. Regardless of income.
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Why not hire a cleaning lady to help with the house and laundry? Appreciate what you have. Take an evening by yourself to go to mall out for dinner and leave him home with thekids baby. He’ll have to step up and both will be fine
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You sound selfish it’s like you want help but you want it done your way sounds like eventually you’ll drive everyone around you away
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In my home I take care of the bills. He cleans we share cooking and taking care of our daughter.
This is a silly post. It’s not me vs him, it’s suppose to be a partnership. You’re making him feel like less of a man by pointing out you make more, who cares who makes what, as long as bills or paid and house, kids etc are taken care of that is ALL that matters.
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Your trash because he provided a way for you to grow your business to success and doesn’t make as much now you want to leave him … why don’t you return the favor and help him build instead of asking g complete stranger if you should leave him cause he doesn’t make enough money now wow talk about 1st world problems… a
he’s not abusing you or baby he’s loving so is money all that matters to you … trash
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FFS you’re making more money now HIRE housekeeping. Win win
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I gotta say he was good enough for you when you had no money, also you married him for better or worse. You really need to check yourself.
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My bestfriend works and her husband is a SAHD. They’ve been married years, have two kids and are happy.
Their oldest is almost 8 and he’s stayed home almost her whole life.
I agree with Kathy Outman … you make more money, you’re upset he isn’t helping you around the house the way you want him to, so hire housekeeping…
It makes both your work less and you can even split it 50/50.
My husband and I earn the same amount, sometimes he clears a bit more than me, other times I clear more than him, it doesn’t make a difference to our relationship though…
Maybe I’m just a different breed but I’m not with my man for his money or what he can do for me. I make more than him and I take care of most of the housework and cooking. He helps when I ask or he sees I obviously need it. He helps as much as he can with the bills but I don’t expect more from him. What I need from him is honesty respect appreciation laughter and love. I get all of those things in abundance. So I don’t think any less of him because he doesn’t make as much money as I do. But everyone views relationships differently. If you’re truly unhappy then you should leave. It’s not fair to either of you to continue in a relationship that you’re not giving 100% to.
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Well, He probably is a good man to sit there and listen to you tell him that he isn’t good enough for you anymore because you make more money than he does now. If you need more help and is unable to provide that then maybe you should hire someone to help you with all the e tra money you make now . He probably already feels bad about you making more without you pointing it out to him especially if he has been your provider for most of the time you have been together. It sounds like he tried to help out but maybe you gave him the tasks that you knew he would not be good at doing? Maybe you should show him how or let him do what he knows how to do. It also sounds like he put in effort to do whatever you want to make you happy. You should appreciate that he has been trying. Most men would have told you to go to hell . It sounds like he loves you and wants to make it work I’m not sure if you love him seeing as you are talking about leaving him because you want him to make more money. I would never talk to my so like that . Things don’t always work out how you plan if life and at least things are going well for you guys and you still don’t seem happy. Maybe he’s to good for you . Maybe he deserves better like someone who likes him for him because it doesn’t sound like you like him enough so if there is any reason that you should let him go that should be the reason.
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I don’t understand this post at all. Your Succeeding in your company so your making more money. So if he’s not going to make more money how ever you expect him to then go back to paying bills the way you used to and save the rest in an emergency account or something. If he carried you for however long I personally feel like he should be able to save for a while to make it level out.
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Well he didn’t question the relationship when you were helping with a small percentage, do talk again about him helping more around the house if you love him that change will be enough…
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Then look for someone who get paid better than you 🤦I don’t think money has anything to do with him helping around the house my husband works full time and I stay home with the kids he gets paid weekly he buys me what I want or need as well as the kids and gives me money that I save since he is buying me what I want he still comes home and helps me clean cook and with the kids he sleeps the baby and takes care of him during the nights he also helps some times with mine and the kids laundry he always does his because he knows the baby likes to be carried and won’t say down so he says he rather me take care of the kids he sometimes washing dishes along other things
You need to have an honest conversation with him about how you feel. Based on how he responds, you will have your answer.
You sound like a delight 
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If he is a good partner and a good father, I’m completely confused here. You’re upset because your business took off and now you make more money than him? You’d think you’d be counting your blessings. Not seeing it as you being better than him now. What he makes at work shouldn’t matter. How he treats his family is what’s important here.
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You love him? But because you want conditions to your love, and its not following exactly how you want it… You think its not gonna work in the long run?. You probably right, since its all about you. He’s meeting you halfway, appreciate it. Count your blessings instead of finding more to complain about.
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You shouldn’t even be in a relationship. You sound like trash the way your talking in this post.
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How sad for your husband. You seem to have a price tag on your love for him. Let him go find true happiness!!
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I’m definitely not naturally better at “cleaning/laundry/raising kids” than my husband. He was a stay at home dad the first year of my son’s life & fantastic at it. That sounds like something outdated instilled in you that is affecting the relationship.
Your logic is majorly dated, sexist, and petty
True love and soul mates has NOTHING to do with who makes more money… you need to get rid of your “idea” of a perfect partner and accept your partner for who he is… if he isn’t your soul mate and you aren’t truly in love with his soul, then yes, these things will matter.
Wow. I couldn’t imagine telling my fiance “make more money!” Poor dude. I don’t think it should matter who makes more. If bills are paid, kids are happy & y’all love each other, why should that matter?
Really? Are you stuck in the 50’s??? If you make so much more than him, get a maid do the laundry, take care of the house & such!! Stop putting him down! All you’re doing is making him feel. bad about himself. You say you’re in love with him & he’s a good father
To the kids. Let him be a good father & husband!
Honestly I don’t think it should matter who brings home more.
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Why can’t he clean? Cook? Do household chores? Take care of the baby? My ex never wanted to help my now boyfriend helps me around the house as well as takes care of my kids whom he claims as his also and treats them as such and helps pay bills. So, my question is are you not happy with him or is money the issue? A man can help a man who chooses not to is a different story.
My opinion is that even though when you contributed less financially he took care of you… now that you’re making more money you feel like you’ve risen above him because he’s not contributing with baby/cleaning to “balance” the tally you keep in your mind in the way that you did. The biggest problem I see is that you’re worried more about it being equal money and work wise than you are about the fact that you said he’s a good man and good dad and good husband. Why is the balance of money and bills and who has paid their fair share more important than that? It’s a team effort to make it work… anything could happen to your business and would you want him pressuring you the same way to step up and make that money again or it’s just time for him to get out if you didn’t? Think big picture… he’s kind & you can trust him with your baby- biggest concern you have as a mom in my opinion. Stop making it a competition between the two of you… get a goal or something to focus on that you can work towards together to take your mind off such shallow concerns as who makes more money or who’s washed more dishes.
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If you don’t think it’s gonna work out in the long run you already have your answer, you’re just looking for confirmation. If you’re having these thoughts it’s pretty much over without being over. And I understand not wanting to be with a man who’s not to your standards as a man.
When my husband and I first got together, he made more than me for about 6 or 7 years. But as my career grew, his waned. So for the last 8 years I’ve made more than him and that gap has grown each year. But as my hours stayed steady or increased and his decreased, he did take over more and more management of the house… that’s what a responsible partner does. They not only do their share (as they always should), but they pick up the slack when the other partner needs. We also have an open dialog about it and we have the “family wall” app that allows us to share calanders, meal plans, to do lists, etc.
It sounds like you’ve never had healthy communication and partnership in your relationship. Unless you can instate that now, it’s not boring well for your future.
And ladies, stop settling for men who want a maid and cook instead of an actual partner. If a boyfriend can’t do his own damn laundry or wash the dishes when they are dirty, leave. Both partners contribute to the need for chores, so both partners should be responsible for them getting done…regardless of the money dynamic.
Think he should leave you and run a million miles away 
relationships last because you love each other not because how much money you both make. Why don’t you make less money? Or become a stay at home Mam because your the one with the problem. This is beyond
Is this a real life problem? I think this is incredibly selfish of you. It is not his job to take care of you. Dynamics of relationships are changing. Ways of thinking are changing. As long as you have a roof over your head, it does not matter who brings home more money? It’s YALLS money to begin with. As far as him not helping thats a whole different conversation that has nothing to do with who brings more money home. Your priorities are not lined up at all.
Can he work? Does he have physical impediments? My husband can only work for 3 days. So he doesn’t do much but he sure does try. If you sign up for a 50/50 relationship make sure you let him know. You have to say it. It’s not fair to you. And this is coming from some one doing it all too. Speak up mom!
So you make more money then him and now he’s less of a man? And need to help you more? Don’t let the enemy lie to you. End up w no business and no man. Seriously, worst stuff in life then to feel entitled because you make more and yet he still paying his half? Thank God you have a man stand by you and help w whatever he can. There is NO PERFECT RELATIONSHIP 
A relationship shouldn’t be about who earns more especially if he supported the family originally and didn’t throw that in your face. Yes maybe sitting down and talking about the household upkeep and caring for your child should be discussed but I don’t believe asking him to make more money when you live comfortably is the right move. What if he really enjoys his work and leaves It to satisfy you and ends up miserable. A family dynamic has more than just yourself in the equation that you have to think of. In my situation our family was supported 100% by my partner, he encouraged me to go all in, into my business and now I make 3x more than him but I never throw that in his face. He helped me get here, It was slow in the beginning and I was so discouraged. I would have quit if It wasn’t for him. You have to take into account the person who helped you get to where you are.
He supported and encouraged you while you followed your dreams. You took care of the house since the start of the relationship. He invested his money and time to grow you. I believe he did that out of love for you. He could have invested that time, money, and energy in himself. If he would have put all of that effort into himself then he might be earning more. Why aren’t you investing in him? If your relationship is about money then take a look at his Profit and loss. If anything you are not ahead nor above because you still owe him. It would appear that his investment in you was a bad investment decision.
Housework, bless your heart. According to you he can’t do it and isn’t good at it; then why do you want him to do it? You want the traditional dynamic’s but also want the traditional dynamic to change? The help that he did give “didn’t work out”. 
I’m guessing because you didn’t like his way of doing things.
You want things done your way, on your time, and nothing is ever good enough. If his efforts are not appreciated then why would he want to try?
If you are not willing to accept his way of doing a task then you obviously don’t want help bad enough. As long as a clean towel is available and is where the clean towels go; does it really matter how it’s folded??
You are going to have to learn how to be grateful, appreciative, stop nitpicking, and compromise. Everything can’t keep changing according to your demands. Traditional roles means you still take care of everything in the home and children regardless of money earned. Untraditional is a team that takes care of each other, invests in each other, each partner does what is needed, and tons of compromise.
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Ok, I will.proba ly be blasted for saying this, but here I go. Its not about money. You were fine when he paid the bills. Now that you have money you expect him to.make more. I guarantee you you could find someone who makes more money, but probably not as nice as the one you have. If he is a good father and a good partner…it should be enough…its the day to day that matters most in this life, not the money…
Sounds like your having doubts about your feelings for him… But also if you can’t look at your money and what yall have together as a whole. my opinion you need to work on that no matter who makes more money at the time shouldn’t matter… Does he love you and yal buy most of what you want/desire and live comfortably with bills paid and have extras then why does it matter who makes more… You never know what the future has in store. If he provided before and you just happen to have a successful company that earns more. That’s great im sure your husband was very supportive… Just saying if your doubting you should definitely remind yourself, its hard to find someone else who will treat you right and love your child, someone who u wont have to worry about being alone or around your child…think about all the good things you love about your man and picture if you could realistically find someone better who would provide and love you and your child/ren the way he does and you have your answer. If you already think u know that person then you should definitely end the relationship…
I could not have a problem paying most of the bills if I am making way more money. My only requirement would be more help with the household chores, and if he’s not good with the chores, then get a helper and let him pay for it. But don’t leave a good husband because you earn more.
I dont see a difference if he was the bread winner he would be paying more, it’s the same for you you make more, just because he’s a man doesn’t mean he has to be the bread winner
I say be you’re lucky he comes home every night and pays half the bills
I firmly believe that a relationship is 100/100.
Saying that women are better at household things is a sexist statement.
If you want him to pay more for bills as that is his ‘role’ that you expect, then save the excess you have for family vacations, investments, better vehicles in the future. Invest in the future with what you have currently so he can do the financial part that you expect.
Otherwise, reassess your expectations. Heck yea it’s absolutely understandable to not want to feel like you’re doing the most of everything. Make a chore list. Or discuss what chores you don’t like to do that he doesn’t mind etc.
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You let the money get to your head. Congrats… At one point he was making more than you. This is just sad. I don’t have much more to say because I’d get thrown out of the group, but leave that man alone. Just because your standards got selfishly higher doesn’t make him any less masculine.
Your not asking for anything for anything more than equality in your own home.
I don’t see the problem with asking for it.
He needs to step up and help more where its needed, it shouldn’t be all on one person.
Either figure out a way for him to help out more in the home or hire someone to come in and clean and help with the laundry. I think we always forget about the latter as an option. I was in a similar situation some time ago so I can relate to how you are feeling on some level.
Ok so this is definitely an abusive relationship and he needs to get out right away. You belittle him on the internet so I can’t even imagine what you say to his face. He paid more when he made more and now that you make way more you expect everything to be 50/50. You don’t feel comfortable being the breadwinner so you nag him to earn more… I can’t image what he is going through at home with you. He supported you and helped create your business and now you want to throw him to the curve. You are very sexist and need a therapist, especially for your child’s sake. My advice, leave him so he can take you for child support and finally be with a woman who appreciates him. If you want everything to only be about money and be a business partnership with percentages of work then leave him and go to court, they will figure it out
Your relationships ability to last is directly reflective of your ability and willingess to work on yourself and to communicate with your partner, and the will to never ever give up.
I don’t think your problem is the $ disparity so much as the responsibility disparity. It is absolutely not true that a woman is better at cleaning, laundry, taking care of baby, etc. Men can be taught cleaning and many I know are quite good at it. Though fathers may have a different parenting style than you, they are just as capable of taking care of children regardless of the children’s ages. Co parenting, whether in a solid relationship or while apart takes communication and compromise. Relationships in general take the same. It sounds like you are asking him for help and he’s pulling a “Paris Hilton” on you… Basically messing up on purpose so it looks like he is incapable so you just do it all yourself to make it “easier”, or is just ignoring your needs b/c he can. That doesn’t make anything easier. It will cause resentment, distance, and less communication as you aren’t feeling “heard” anyway. My advise is first off, pick a day of the week / weekend to have “alone” time. Leave him for several hours w/ the kids and a list of chores and get away from the house, kids, husband, situation. Do something just for you. Take that painting class, do the hot yoga, take a walk and enjoy nature, get together w/ other friends, pet a puppy at your local animal shelter, get your hair / nails done. Whatever feeds your soul. I assure you the kids will be alive when you return. The chores may not be done, so what? Either leave them undone and stand your ground or do them yourself, but DO start taking this time for yourself. I promise it will, over time, give you the clarity you need to make future decisions.
You should throw yourself away and start over. He should definitely leave you and find something better.
Half of y’all probably won’t even be with your partner in the future lol and everyone is so quick to tell her she’s wrong.
This sounds all wrong n selfish a true relationship doesn’t divide financial responsibility to 50/50 when u didnt make as much you were ok with it and now suddenly u expect him to help around the house more because u make more money sounds like a excuse to me …and if he is your fathers child you should find a way to make it work instead of being convinced these aren’t the correct (dynamics) for your relationship and lifestyle thats what’s wrong with the world today selfish people like u
So he supported you whilst you built up a business which I am going to guess you didn’t make as much as him at the start of it.
Think he needs to bin you off to be honest, as long as his still contributing to his half of the bills and not being a lay about relying on you for money I don’t see the problem. Some women cry for women’s rights and wanting to be equal to men, then you get comments like this…
Make him pay for the house cleaning if you don’t want to do it. You can’t change a tigers stripes so work with what you can do. Hire a part time nanny if you are making so much money and feel the need for help. Enjoy your husband as is. Resolve your problems. You would do these things anyway if you ended the relationship. Imo.
Hire a house keeper, take care of your needs. Honestly, best investment ever!!
Men 100% can be as ‘good’ at all the things you mentioned.
Have a couples meeting and set goals for your marriage/life. Talk about work division, share feelings.
Talk about ego You’re not going to have to worry about the relationship failing due to money. It’s going to fail because you have a lot going on that needs addressed/ worked on. Your man is not the problem.
You’re the one that went off and started a business
If youre in a relationship the effort should be 50/50 the money has nothing to do woth it whomever is paying what my bf puts all his check in my account and we just use my account he makes 3k a month and i currently make around 900 a month but should be going up to 2500 here when i start my new job so i have 2 jobs again but we work together on a cash business that brings in roughly 2k a month as well
I think the views you have may be more outdated which its ok for you to have the view that a man should make more, and thats ok but in todays day and age women are making more as the wage gap decreases and we are also able to take higher paying jobs and become business owners
Why not just use some of the extra income she had and put towards a cleaner/helper here and there?
Relationships can last if mom is breadwinner but I am sorry you do not see it lasting 
.
You expect him to randomly ‘make more money’ because you have a business that is doing very well???
Umm… listen, congrats on your business and I’m happy that you are succeeding. But you cannot expect him to randomly make more money than you.
You say that him doing tasks around the home ‘didn’t work out’. Is that your opinion because you have a standard that is above ‘the norm’ (ex. He vacuums once every 2 days instead of twice a day, fold the laundry a different way than you do, puts the towels away in a different way, makes the bed without hospital corners, etc) or he just flat out just doesn’t bother to do it…?
Relationships take work. Period.
If you have specific chore expectations and he doesn’t meet them, show him exactly what you want. You telling him that he needs to make more more than you in order to stay in a relationship with you is a toxic request.
If you are in a loving relationship and are sharing bills and chores and loving eachother and your kids that should be enough.
Is he even at a job that he can just demand a raise to make as much if not more than you currently are making? If he can and does, if your business grows further and you make even more money are you going to demand he get another raise? When will that end??
I’m not trying to come down hard on you or anything, I’m just trying to understand and maybe have you take an objective look at this dynamic.
The ‘traditional’ dynamic that you mentioned has the man making more money… instead of having him seek out more money just to appease your own wants, back away from your business or have a cap of how much business you will take on per month so you don’t exceed his current salary.
LMAO wow first world problems… please get off your high horse and be more appriciative 🤦
I don’t get what money has to do with helping around the house and with the kids