Is he completely incompetent then? Like is he not a parent as well?
I’d be done picked my daughter up.
Honestly if it’s just until tomorrow then yeah he has a point it is his time and if he feels he can handle it then good on him.
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Asshole is not a parent
A daughter needs her mom during this time . You get her, and dad can pick her up from you when he gets off work. Ain’t nobody gonna keep me away from my child when she needs me. And just for the record on some of these comments, dads are just as capable of handling daughters situation… apparently this dad doesn’t think its important to tend to her needs til he gets off work… no… handle it now if that’s what she needs. If mom is available to go help and dad cant or won’t leave work, then mom go…
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I know it’s her dads time but with her starting that she might be embarrassed to ask him any questions about it I mean it’s only a day early let him have her a day that is your to make it up
Go pick her up and let him take you to court!! I am thinking he won’t EVER get a father of the year award!! If you speak to your daughter and she wants you to come–do it! If she prefers you just bring what she needs–do it!! Follow the lead of your daughter–not some “gosh you are taking 10 of MY hours away father”!!!
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My daughter’s 1st period started while she was at Dad’s for the weekend. We had all prepared her ahead and stepmom had shown her where they kept those products there. She didn’t need me and came home after visitation ended. She would have liked to come home early…but that wasn’t an option because it was his time.
It’s his parenting time. Why does she need you? You are making her period into something it isn’t. My lovely DH is the first one with the painkillers, spare pants, pads and hot water bottles. He also has a stash of chocolate for such times. I’m sure her Dad can find clean knicks, hot water bottle and buy pads if needs be. You don’t need to rush over.
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I’d speak to my daughter and follow her wishes and inform him of what was decided. The end. Let him know he’s not in charge anymore.
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Wow a father that wants to be there to provide support to the child they helped bring into this world. How horrible…… her father has just as much right to support your daughter through out ALL of life’s milestones. Honestly the fact he wants to is impressive to me. I mean if she were an infant and crying, he’s not handing her back because it’s difficulties. He’s stepping up to the plate… whys this wrong?
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I mean, how can he stop you?
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He is her parent why can he not take care of her
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I would’ve gotten my daughter. Case closed.
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A period is a mother daughter bond, unless there is no female parent
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Everyone is missing the point. If she wanted to go to her moms then she should have been allowed to.
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Ya no, I have 3 daughters and I would go get them if they needed me. That’s not something dad should be dealing with, it’s an uncomfortable subject and I only ever wanted my mom during that time, I wasn’t even comfortable asking my dad for pads or tampons when I started my period. It’s weird talking to your dad about that, he wouldn’t understand either he’s not a woman.
I’d go get her, his opinion is irrelevant at this time.
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They will be fine. My daughter and ex went through this and both grew close as a result. Relax. Let dad be a dad.
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What a douche, I’d visit her at school to help her at least and maybe would’ve called a lawyer to see if u would’ve got into trouble, you’d think he’d put her needs first, what’s he going to help her with? Although my husband was amazing when this happened he let us girls bond and we did special things those days and talked and had no school at least the first day , COME ON 
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Sounds like something my ex would do. (Then he would probably go one step further and blame me (somehow) for her wanting mom during her first period.) A caring parent listens to their kid’s needs. If she clearly says she needs mom then dad should not be selfish and claim it is his ‘time’. It is this child’s life, and just one day away from dad will not hurt the adults. This poor girl will remember how dad behaved during a stressful time in her life forever - you don’t get to redo how your first period went.
Guys, she started her period IN SCHOOL. The mom wants to pick her up probably because the kid has blood on her pants and feels gross. It wouldn’t even be a question for me, I’m getting my kid. By the time he gets off work, it’s too late.
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What part of it’s his parenting time don’t you understand? He has said no you can’t take her. Let it go.
Dad’s time is dad’s time. Offer advice for him to help her out. That’s all you should do.
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Ummm it’s his time to have her, stop trying to take her away from him. Let him be with his daughter.
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Call your daughter and ask her what she wants. Then do exactly that.
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I have 4 daughters and I don’t feel he’s in the wrong… Maybe go to go school with extras but that’s about it
You stupid people need to read the first part.said girl was at school.dad had no plans to go pick her up.,but selfishly would not let mom.poor girl probably had messed up clothes,he didn’t care how embrassed she probably was,just so he could be boss.
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If she needs picked up and he can’t, that’s bullshit. If she’s fine too be at school, she can just go to him after. It’s not like she needs a parent just because.
Fuck him. He’s gonna have fun explaining that to a judge
My thought… Is that he’s parenting. Don’t devalue a different perspective… Give him a chance to also parent.
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Drop off a care package for her
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There isn’t no one out there telling me no I can’t do something for my children. I wpuld tell him I’m going to go pick her up. And we are going to go shopping for pads and period underwear or watever. And once he is done working he can come get her from my house
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My daughter got her first period with her dad. Believe it or not, dad’s are capable of handling this. As moms, we want to rush in and be there for our girls. However, dad will have to have feminine hygiene products for her. There will be times she has her cycle at dads house. For both of them, don’t intrude. It’ll give her the impression her dad can’t handle this situation. 
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For me it is that menarche is a sacred rite of passage to be shared with the female members of her circle, even tho this culture erases/minimizes that aspect of it. I am picking up from the mother that this is an emotionally potent event that she wants to share with her child. The dad doesn’t have that insight. Clearly the mother isn’t interrupting an ordinary day, and can go get her daughter to devote special attention and care to her on a day she will likely remember her whole life. Where were you when your first blood came?
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personally I think you have the right as a MOTHER who gave birth to her child to go help her out with a womenly matter regardless of a parenting plan. I know when I was in the 6th grade and started mine for the first time, I wish I had my mom help me out instead of my dad because it was awkward to me because to me, he didn’t understand the circumstances I was going through.
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Well he should have taken her a new pair of pants, underwear, and a pad. There is no reason a father shouldn’t be able to handle their daughters 1st period. Single dads do it…so as long as he was willing to take new clothes to her…I don’t see a problem. Now with that being said, if he made his daughter stay at school in her bloody clothes and no femine product…that’s bad parenting on his part, if he could not make it out because of work, he should have asked you to kindly take her some clothes and a femine pad…maybe taken her home, but honestly her missing the day isn’t necessary.
If she started at school she probably needs a change of clothes in addition to her mom. What do you mean he won’t let you you pick her up? Did he threaten you? I would pick my daughter up, take her to lunch and to the store to get supplies. Dad can pick her up from me when she’d normally get out of school. He’s not loosing any time if you get her early. I don’t get his problem.
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Hes her parent… He has every right to be part of this stage in her life as the mother… Sorry but it’s only one day… Shes still going to have her period tomorrow… Call her to see what she needs, or just ask if her father needs a hand buying her what she needs… What about all the single dads doing this stuff when there’s no mother around at all… Real men and real fathers deal with this stage of a girls life just fine…
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I think her father should be allowed his time and with videochat and online ordering the Mom can take care of anything needed and be there for support.
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She with her dad…what’s the problem??? Are dads not allowed to deal with this type of thing or something?? when I first got my period my dad bought me flowers, chocolate and a congratulations card.
School would of helped out with sanitary products until someone was able to collect her, right?
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was daughter at school when this started??
am I reading this correctly was she at school and dad would not interrupt his day to go get her?? I’m gonna say it again she was at school when her 1st period started?? yeah no I would’ve picked her up myself violate me or not at 12 years old she can tell the judge what happened and why you came and got her
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You bet your ass I’d be at the school with clothes, chocolate, painkillers, tampons, pads, and a big hug.
Go get your daughter…she got a hold of you didn’t she?
I think that as long as he either went and picked her up or brought her a clean change of clothes and hygiene products I wouldn’t have an issue with it. I grew up in a house full of girls. My dad was used to it and never made it awkward for us. In the future, perhaps send her with a makeup bag packed with essentials to avoid any conflict and embarrassment for her at school.
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Id go to.school to give her what she needs and if it were me I’d take her anyway , no court is gonna get involved
F him! Go get her… enough said!
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I think she needs her mum…and dad is being selfish and stubborn!!!
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He is unable to understand the embarrassment a young girl feels having her first period at school.
To tell her mom not to get her is a real childish move. Most girls would like to go home and clean up.
What harm would is cause for the mother to get her home and showered and restored, before he gets off work? For his time.
I would suggest that to him. If he still protested I would contact the school to tell them the situation and bring her supplies, clothes and hugs.
There’s already enough strain on children from broken homes, without the adults behaving like the dad here.
Think how your children feel and push your ego aside. I don’t get the good of leaving her at school because he’s at work anyway.
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People …. It’s not her being a bitter “baby mama “ she stated her daughter started her FIRST period today. Meaning they wasn’t expecting it , her daughter probably told her mom and that’s how she found out it was AT school and clearly she’s not prepared Bc nobody expected it to happen.
And he’s at work. She probably wanted to PICKKK her up early to get what she needed Bc having your first period during school , and not expecting it is the worst feeling and embarrassing .there’s no reason she couldn’t pick her up, and he could’ve gotten her from her home after work instead .
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He’s a jackass!!!
I see a lot of overbearing moms in this thread. Put a muzzle on your momma bear for a minute ladies and answer these questions…
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How do young people learn to cope in stressful situations? If she’s rescued when faced with adversity, she’ll not develope the skills she will need as an adult. Twelve is hard. Not a baby… Not quite a teenager. Lots of life connections are being made during this period of growth and development.
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Parents are obviously not together. How do you know there’s not a history of this child playing the parents against each other to get their way? Young girls are pretty notorious for this kind of behavior.
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For my own personal curiosity… How many of you “momma bears” had single or remarried moms, with dad not involved in your life regularly? Must people only know what they’re exposed to… So for people in this situation, they think they’re supposed to run in and take charge… Because that’s what they saw their momma bear do and they think that’s what being a mother is. I’m here to tell you… You’re wrong. Your child will benefit more throughout their life from giving them hugs and validation than they ever will from you rescuing them or beating somebody’s ass. I’m fact…
Don’t just muzzle that momma bear…euthanize it… Because it will also teach them to always run to everyone else’s rescue… Without having learned how to review themselves first.
And in closing… It’s scientifically proven that parental alienation is harmful to the long term mental health of children. Boys too… Not just girls. Not only that… Also scientifically proven that narcissistic mothers (such as ones who think their poor baby needs them for every single hiccup, burp, or fart) turn out maladapted adults with attachment issues, hindered coping skills, anxiety disorders, and all those other fun things that go along with that… Depression, personality disorders, no sense of self, reliance on others, self medicating with illegal drugs, and even suicidal ideation… With at least one failed attempt.
You’re growing people. Just love them… And that will teach them how to love themselves.
Ummmm go to the school and help her. You going to the school does affect his parenting time.
If you can get her 1st I don’t see the issue. She’s probably needs clean clothes and sanitary products. I’d go get her and he can pick her up from you when he finishes work. She shouldn’t have to stay at school uncomfortable.
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Why do u need to pick her up?
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Um, by law aren’t children of divorced parents allowed to make choices who they go with at 12?
Can’t stand the parents that are so hell bent on sticking to the “court documents”
things happen…… like a 12 year old who starts her period for the first time ever!!
Things need to be discussed and her MOM should be the one who has that conversation! Switch out a day. Simple.
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He has no parenting skills and no Compassion for his little daughter!!!
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Screw him and go get your daughter 
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If both parents have had conversations with her. She may be ok with Dad. And see Mom in a day or two. Our daughters would have been fine with Dad taking the lead
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Umm go anyway and offer a make up day to her dad. Some guys don’t get it just do it respectfully saying you know he loves your daughter and wants what’s best for her. Praise his awesome coparenting skills and how much you appreciate him always putting your daughter above “the rules”. This can be done successfully together with intention and love
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Wow 
how immature of the dad. He obviously can’t relate to his daughters situation and the right thing to do would be to at least let mom be there for her at this time.
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Wow her dad can handle it. Lawd. You can talk to her when she gets home.
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People saying go get her anyway are ridiculous. Believe it or not, dads are capable parents. You can’t just “go get” a child during court ordered visitation when the other parent says no unless you want to have to “go get” a lawyer to help you hold on to your visitation)custody rights.
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If it’s his time it’s his time
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Document it as much as possible. Keep it for court. No joke. That is neglect of her hygienically also not to mention what it must be doing mentally. She is probably so humiliated having to just sit there in a mess like that. Smh
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If he really gave a fuck he would have left work and picked her up himself. Bet he sends her to school sick too
So I just put this scenario out to my husband. Told him if we were divorced ya ya ya….he said he most def would let me get our daughter for the simple fact he knows about a woman’s period and how to handle it but it’s best for a mother to have that talk.
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He should ask her what she wants to do. If she feels ok to be with dad than she’s ok.
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I would still go to the school, bring her a change of clothes and some pads. Or whatever she is comfortable with.
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Why is this a big deal? I started my first period at school too. Didn’t call my parents. Finished my school day and went home… told them at bedtime that night. Both of them, together. Because my dad could handle it as well as my mom. Dad’s are parents too.
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Tell.him.then be a parent n deal with getting her pads n tylonel cause he got deal with it part of life n have birds n bees talk to
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Either parent should be able to do this. You should have prepared her way before her first period started. Good on her dad for stepping up and being there through everything women have as part of life.
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It’s definitely a different situation for the girls who first start periods. They want their moms not their dads. It’s a little “embarrassing” for the girls to run to dad about it. We as females feel 100% more comfortable with running to our mothers in this situation.
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Does she have anything or need a change of clothes? You can get her and meet him back there when school gets out.
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As long as dad is ha dealing with the situation then she is in competent hands… Many dads don’t have any women around and raise young girls all the time… If she is fine and OK… Then let it be… If she is distraught that’s a differant story…my kids was just as comfortable with there dad in this area as they were with myself… It’s how we raised them… It was nothing for my daughter to ask her sad to get her tampons or whatever… Nor was it a big deal for him…
just bring her a change of clothes and feminine products to use while at her dad’s
He had that right you have a court order as just cant do what you want
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Girls need their moms at this time. They need to talk to moms not dads, dads don’t know anything about a girls period. He’s so immature
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That’s horrible. Tell him you’ll trade him a day and let you get her settled.
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When my husband and I separated, I created 3 hygine bags for my daughter. One for her backpack, one for her dads house, and one for here. Each one had panty liners, 2 sizes of pads depending on flow, wipes, and extra panties just in case. The sets for the houses contained pamprin/midol also. We both made her aware of where everything was and I taught her what was for when. She started very early… before her 10th birthday… but to this day she says that was the best idea! She wasn’t scared or embarrassed and knew exactly what to do. She’s nearing 12 now and we still keep bags prepped and she keeps hers in her bag for school.
Because of this and being a high school teacher, I also keep a hygiene basket in my classroom with all sorts of things for students ‘just in case’.
I wouldn’t be upset with Dad, but I definitely would get all 3 of you on the same page and make your daughter comfortable.
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And furthermore keep her well stocked from now on with headache med, pads, and liners:ok_hand:t5:
Let her know she may start to feel uncomfortable and cramp a week priority as periods go on…let her know this is her body’s way of saying hey…it’s around the corner so she can start to avoid messing up her undies…if she feels this way or has counted her (28) days out, she can use a liner for when she’ll be at places like school etc
Just little tidbits you don’t know til you go through it 
Best wishes:sparkling_heart:
If your daughter called you, and wants/needs her mother during that strange, uncomfortable, and awkward time… then your ex is being a douchebag.
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I was at work when my daughter first started her period. My husband, her father, answered all her questions and got her what she needed from the store. I knew she would be well taken care of regardless of if she were with me or him at the time.
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My oldest started at her dads house while he was at work. I just made sure she had what she needed. I’m sure her dad is capable of taking care of her but just bring her stuff if she needs it. She’s his daughter too.
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School nurse will help her
A weirdo insensitive illogical control freak. Surely it’s no biggie to let her mom get her out of that certainly uncomfortable and embarrassing situation and bring her back to dad later when he got off.
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Dads can handle periods.
He IS a parent.
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He’s a ass hole. Big time.
He is her dad. He can handle a period.
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It’s his parenting time till tomorrow, unless she wants you to come get her, he’s probably got it handled… hopefully 
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This is why divorce sucks and the poor children suffer the most…
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You need to remind him that you both are still the parents no matter where she is or who’s house she is at if she wants the other parent so be it !! Sorry he is being controlling and she will resent him ! Believe me already made this mistake by letting my ex control our daughter to the point she won’t even have a relationship with him because he had to much pride and is narcissistic. It’s unfortunate
Let him handle it if he thinks he knows better. Maybe you or other sources taught him how to handle this. That’s okay.
It should always be about whatever the child wants regardless of a “court order”
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It’s “the dad won’t let me” hk I will be burning doors for my babies mental health y’all need to step up for y’all babies even if you have to deal with the devil
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Sounds like he’s being spiteful and not putting the child first.
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Should not matter who’s time it is my 9 year old started last yr it was on my time I contacted her dad and step mum and said I’m keeping her home her step mum and I took her out for Maccas chatted with her for a while so she new we where both there for her my girl picked to stay with me for the day ( it was change over day at school) I dropped her off at the school in the afternoon so she could still go to dads ( they prepared everything while our daughter was with me ) she lasted a few hours and wanted mum so she came home if your daughter is asking for you and wants her mum today then that should be all that matters I hope you both can work something out for your daughters sake
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No matter whos time it is,a 1st period is awkward and embarrassing. I sure wouldn’t want my Dad to come,it’d be my mom. Her feelings should come before his on this one.
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I’d just verify she had everything needed or if I had to run and get products and drop em off.
Beyond that…good luck dad, you got this!
He’s a parent to. He can handle a period.
I just make sure kiddo was ok and had what she needed to get thru the day til dad picks her up. Then beyond that, dad can handle it.
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All I can say is all of yalls comments were a lot nicer than what came out of my mouth 
let me just fix myself real quick…
I’d go get her if she wanted me too and the dad could get over it. It’s a girl thing, if she called you, it was for a reason. Offer him a day of your “parenting” time if he needs it… when it comes to the child, it’s not about who’s time it is!
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