Just leave. Itll never be the same and he obviously is not going to stop talking to her or seeing her. That’s way more than a friendship. My heart goes out to you as someone who’s husband cheated as well. Staying will just mentally hurt you and your son. He deserves to see you both at your best and happy. You will soon realize how much better you will be without him. Good luck.
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How can you say you love if you don’t trust? If spouses cannot have friends of the opposite sex, then their relationship is doomed.
You already know the answer. Yes it’s sucks but he’s a piece of shit cheater. He did what he wanted to do. He had multiple opportunities to end it but he didn’t because he didn’t want to- you trusted him . He took advantage of that trust. He doesn’t care about you. Chances are he’s got other chicks somewhere else too and guess what- this is all him. You didn’t make him have low self esteem and no self control. You d make him a selfish asshole who destroys people because he needs attention. I’m just sorry that you have to have another child with this garbage can. Only you can decide we will work for you. If you want to have counseling than I hope you have had your eyes opened and don’t ever let him hurt you again. He’s a selfish person.
Leave his ass! He will NOT change! Sorry to say!
He doesn’t respect you. If he did then he wouldn’t put you through this for 3 fuckn years. You and your kid should start again somewhere else. Move and tell nobody. That’s what I’d personally do. Take what resonates, leave what doesn’t
I’m tripping over the red flags just reading this
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I’m with you on all of this but, not letting him see his son. Just because he’s not a good husband doesn’t mean he’s not a good dad. Don’t do that to your son. Good luck!
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He sounds like a cheater. You sound manipulative, petty and ridiculously controlling.
You threatened to take his kid away over your own trust issues because you can’t accept him having female friends ? Trash . You can’t choose his friends and you can’t take his kid away because you’re jealous . That’s not how things work and you’ll get destroyed by the judge in court for even saying it .
You already know the answer. You just don’t want to accept it
Jesus Christ! After the first two times of pleading with him to end this relationship you should’ve been gone, not after the 30th. Using a baby as leverage, never cool though.
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I agree with the leave him but I don’t agree with you saying he will never see you (ok fair enough) or your child (not at all fair) again
If you have to ask then you already know the answer! You don’t just share a room together either that right there is cheating an a no brainer. You will be doing your kid a favor by leaving just don’t cut him out of the kids life.
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Talk to his best friend and make him a yes man .
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You can’t fix this. He is the one to fix the situation. My opinion; your marriage is broken beyond repair! He’s a trifling Arse! He has no respect for you, your child or the marriage. Leave , w one child you can make it. Get your confidence back you deserve better.
Check your phone bill. He’s being deceiving
Oh hell no girl
He needs to go!
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He’s obviously a garbage partner but you’re also a garbage parent to use your child to control what he does. Obviously he’s sticking around because he’s afraid he will be kept away from the kid.
Do yourself, him and your child a favor and just move on.
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Girl on Girl friend he should have is you she in her feeling stay woke they fucken
Thats crazyyyyyy. He needs to go.
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Why are you still with him?
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I’m so sorry your going through this, if I was in your situation I would leave he’s not worth your energy focus on you and that precious baby of yours, wish you much luck
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He’s not only cheating on you with her…he’s choosing her feelings over yours. He told you he couldn’t set boundaries with her because he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. Yet, he’s ok with YOU getting hurt over his relationship with her. No honey, move on…run on, whatever. Just get out of there and don’t ever look back!
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- If he never told her about your marriage there’s an obvious reason for that.
- If she felt betrayed and felt the need to say she didn’t know he was married, then you know at least she had feelings for him.
- If she had feelings for him and he hung out with her that much (including sharing a hotel room???) then he at least entertained her feelings. Most likely acted on it. Either way I consider that cheating.
- Like you said, he avoided conflict with her and not you, which means he chose her over you which is shitty.
- He constantly lied about the relationship.
I don’t see how this could wind up being anything other than an affair. Which is difficult to stomach especially when you’re about to have his BABY. It’s a hard spot but it’s up to you if you want to try to make it work. Although if you stay and it continues to be a toxic relationship that’s not good for you or your kid. I truly feel gutted for anyone who has to go through these situations. People are shitty
It’s you or the work wife! Sounds like the work wife is winning here!
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So many red flags, they’ve apparently blinded you! You already know the truth and what you want to/should do. You are seeking validation from us, but you really don’t need it. You know what’s up. 
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Your timeline says it all, 4 years together, 2 years married, 18 month old child, so you were 3months pregnant when you married him, and you said he started “sneaking” a couple months in, well your boat was leaking and you never should have left the dock in it, now your out to sea in it and you asking us if you should go back to shore? Ask any cat, hairballs are a bummer to cough up but in the end its better than leaving it in your throat
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You have a right to be concerned with your husband. She’s only doing what he’s allowing and encouraging her to do. You’ve already taken it up with him and he’s showed you exactly how concerned about your feelings he is. You know what you need to do.
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And dont be that bitter ass baby mama. Keep his son from him because he is being a bad partner to you. Doesn’t mean he’s a bad dad. You the worst kind of women to that.
It’s not going to get better. He’s just going to get better at hiding it.
Ok HUGE RED FLAGS all over the place here. You are expecting him to adhere to your standards and are disappointed when he doesn’t conform to them. He doesn’t want too and never will. I would suggest you work out a visitation agreement through the friend of the court and move forward. Sweetie he doesn’t love you. Never has and never will. This is not love. Real true love would never do that to the one they love. If he has done it once I guarantee he will do it again. Get out of this toxic relationship and heal yourself. My husband cheated in me with a Co worker. I divorced him and moved on. I met the true love of my life and came to realize that my ex never really loved me. My husband loves me and I have never looked back. Do yourself and your child a favor and get out.
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Leave him! Her feelings should never have been a consideration if he was truly faithful to you. He has made it very clear she is more important than you are. You need to rid yourself of his pathetic ass
Go and talk to her. No doubt she too is feeling hurt and betrayed by him. He won’t tell you the truth but I’m sure she will. But no matter what… please don’t use his child against him 
your child is not a pawn.
I think deep down you know he’s cheating… so gather what ever you need to say thats enough and you wot allow him to treat you like this. Want better for you and your child.
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Leave and divorce. Go to court and get visitation rights and child support set up.
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He’s been cheating on you with her and she’s emotionally attached to him…
There is no saving a relationship if both parties are not involved. He obviously doesn’t care move on and make yourself happy he chose her over you
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Come on, you already know. He’s worried about hurting her feelings but not who should be the most important person in his life? His wife
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Why are you still there. You already know the answer. Read it back and pretend you were reading it from someone else. What would you say?
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I’m wondering why he married you when he clearly wants her. She is always gonna be a problem so I would say you need to bounce.
Go talk to her to get the truth.
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This is not okay. Not one single part of this is normal behavior.
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Boy bye. Get out of there
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Nope I would not be okay with this. Honesty HAS TO COME 1ST
Leave him he’s probably cheating
Run, sweet girl! This is pretty much my story with my ex. You’re better off without him. He will only continue to hurt you. I’m so sorry, but better now than later. I was married 16 years when I finally left.
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Yes…red flags…but please don’t use your son as a pawn.
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Let him be, tell him to go where he wants and love who he wants to love, when he wants. You go and build a better life for yourself with some who wants a monogamous relationship.
Confront them both when they least expect it if u want to finally get the truth… deep down u already know what’s going on
That’s a ass fat nope from me. I’d be gone.
But he would still legally be able to see his son. You can’t use your son as a threat against him.
He sounds like a cheater and I would run and not look back. However never take your child away from him and threaten never seeing the kid. That makes you as bad as him. Think about the kid first.
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Girl, you should of left the first time he cheated!!! This whole scenario is awful and I’m sorry your going thru this but leave!!! He obviously was sleeping with her, if he doesn’t respect you enough to “ not hurt her feelings” but continue to hurt yours? Fuck that
Take him to court and get a order to where he sees his son still and only deal with him for the exchange’s or what’s needed for the boy and that’s it!
Girlll. I was in the same situation with a boyfriend and a girl. No marriage or children. He swore nothing happened but when she got fired he quit… odd right. Took me forever to leave him. Struggle with super bad anxiety now. Cut your losses. Alot of people have children and end up not with that person nothing wrong with that at all. Do your sanity a favor and freaking run!
Leave him…he is cheating with her.
Girl you know the truth deep down. How much longer you going to play the fool to his stupid baby games. Take you and the baby and tell cheater bye
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This man does not love you at all girl.
I feel like He showed you from the beginning your relationship wasn’t valuable to him.
Run honey you know all the answers you dont need us to tell you he is cheating with her
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I get so sad reading posts like this because I’m sure we’ve all had or have that one we do not want to let go and don’t want to see what it really is. It’s so obvious he’s cheating and being a jerk.
I hope you move on and realize this for what it is.
If it’s too conflicting for him to go to counseling to with his wife over a co-worker he’s cheating with… his loyalty is not with you. You and that baby deserve better.
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Red flags! Leave. It seems he’s not willing to give up his relationship with her! It hurts but you will find someone who will treat you like a queen
Also don’t keep his son from him just because he’s a shitty boyfriend. Thats a horrible thing for a mom to do.
I’m sorry but, It’s so painfully obvious he has been cheating with her the entire time……
I hope you see that and leave. You deserve better….
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Wow girl, you do not deserve to be treated like this! No!
You need to leave. He isn’t going to change and the last thing you need is your child seeing him do things like this to you and thinking it’s okay behavior. You need to spare yourself the hurt and leave. He had no regards to your marriage or you or your child. I would 100% leave. You deserve better.
First off- you have the right to feel any way you feel. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.
Secondly and lastly, if your husband can’t let go of a female that’s making your life miserable, there’s something wrong. That being said, the fact that you worry at all sends red flags, either its your ability, or rather, non ability to trust him, or his ability to not be trusted. Either way, they’re both pointing to problems in the future. I would hate for my husband to ask me to choose between him and someone I considered a friend. But if I saw that it was hurting him and really bothering him, he wouldn’t have to ask me.
🤦 been there. You deserve better. It won’t change! Move on as hard as it might be. Sorry.
Are you waiting for his permission to leave? Honey wake up, he has already given it to you
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Please leave this situation, you deserve so much better b
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Hes showing he values his relationship with her more than your marriage together, shes at fault to, come on people at work talk so she knows he’s married and because he’s never set boundaries there’s obviously something going on. I would get out now before you get hurt more and as your child is still Young it’ll be an easier adjustment than when they’re older. Believe in your own worth and move on.
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Don’t waste your life get out now! I’d rather be alone, you’ll always be wondering
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Girl, re-read what you wrote. The answer is clear. Take that baby and move on. Show that pos what he missed out on <3
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I’m sorry sweetie. He wants her and will not quit seeing her. I feel so bad for your child.
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Leave him. BUT NEVER, EVER KEEP A CHILD FROM HIS PARENT!!!
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I’m still caught up on the fact that you want to keep his child from him bcuz he was unfaithful?
He is cheating. Sorry. But. He needs. Her. Not you he. Will. Do. It. To her too. Once a. Cheat. Always a. Cheat
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Hire a PI. You ll regret it if you dont
Run. It never changes.
Talk to her and find out
Ah he is totally messing around with this girl. I would definitely leave. He doesn’t ever plan on leaving that girl alone.
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- there’s no empty threats. You’ve given enough of the ‘or else .’ 2) he’s not going to stop what he’s doing. If he was, he would have 3) you should not have to live daily giving ultimatums. Its ok to let him go and have your own life…
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As you said you saw red flags in the beginning, you stayed, multiple times you saw his behavior, you stayed. Why you trying to leave now….girl stay.
He has showed you her “ friendship” is more important to him than your relationship with him, sharing a rental car with a female coworker on a trip is one thing, but sharing a room is unacceptable and work would not force a male and female to do this, it was their choice. He keeps showing you she is more important, take your baby and run don’t walk away, you deserve better than this!
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Wow. The red flags in this are the size of King Kong. He’s obviously cheating on you and has been since the start of your relationship with him. Nobody goes on a business trip, and allows a female friend to stay with them in their room when they are married unless they preplanned it, and are having an affair. He’s playing house and then also has his mistress. You need to respect yourself and get out!
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No way he would be gone!
let him know you’re bringing this up to their supervisors.
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i stayed for 35 years… don’t do it, wandering eye never goes away. run
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They’ve probably slept together more than once
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You have every right to feel the way you do but you have absolutely ZERO right to not let him see his son. If he’s a good dad and a shitty partner then you know where to separate the two. But that immature bs needs to end now. Y’all grown enough to have kids then ACT grown and put him first! Idk what the deal is with women holding their kids over their ex’s like they have control of everything but he is BOTH of yours. You sound like you could use some work on yourself too.
leave his sorry butt
Call the woman up and ask her yourself.
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Oh lord don’t waste another day and leave you should of left forever ago, it’s not suppose to be this hard. You don’t need to beg a man to respect you!. And wake up you are not priority here. Go to counselling girl it’s sad that you’ve settle for this for so long you need to ask why?!.
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He doesn’t want to hurt her feelings but does not mind hurting your feelings. Leave.
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Ok for one that’s cheating hands down two you really can’t keep his kids away from him because he’s unfaithful . I’d definitely say just leave and co parent with him.
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RUN as FAST as YOU can!!!
I’m sorry it’s time to leave him. He seems more emotionally invested in her then you. And the fact that they shared a room while together out of town probably means it is much more then a friendship. Especially with all the sneaking around
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Get out while you can and don’t look back. Been through this same scenario at least 7 times. Same reaction from him and GUESS WHAT things never changed even when he said they would. It’s called manipulation. of course you ha e the child to consider but you can handle that on you’re own. Just never use the child as a playing card. He will still ha e the right to see him/her and never talk bad about him to the child. Best wishes for you in whatever decision you make. 
No dear you already know. Your long list tells you.
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Well bottom line is, a cheater is gonna cheat. But if it made you more comfortable and if your willing to stay with him over all that bullshit that he caused then give him a altimative and tell him to start finding a new job or asked to be relocated to a different location of work place if that’s possible. If he owns up to his actions and is truly sorry and you guys are willing to figure it out together that is… it’s a hard road but it doesn’t have to be the end if both is 100% committed cause it’s gonna be tough road ahead if you continue your lives together. I send you all the healing and positive vibes your way.
I wouldn’t have trusted his lyin, cheating ass to begin with because he should have cut that shit off the minute you told him it bothered you. Throw the whole man out cause I can almost guarantee he’s doing so much more and that shows he doesn’t care about you at all.
It looks like you’ve tried, and he has no interest in putting in the effort. If they were just friends, why would she take that email to HR? I would probably call it quits, but unless there are other details you are leaving out, I don’t see why you would keep your son from him. He may he an unfaithful man, but that has nothing to do with his parenting. Be the bigger person, and learn to co parent.
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And your still with him why?
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