Good on you mum carry on with wot ur doing with your son👍
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Im sure they popped their heads into the room every so often
Girls parents are very wary too
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Overbearing and controlling. Sorry to say, but that’s all you are. They didn’t necessarily lie to you either. Maybe no one could agree on what to watch. So they went their separate ways. I think you may want to seek some counseling for any underlying issues. You seem to have some sort of trauma that you are projecting onto your own child.
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“It’s not that I don’t trust my kid.” No. No, you don’t trust him. Like, at all.
And it seems like you’re projecting your insecurities onto everyone around you.
I’m sorry, but this is ridiculous. You’re controlling. Instead of worrying so much, you seem like you need to have conversations with your boy about girls and then actually let him live his life.
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I was a teen parent and I can tell u being so over protective like this and not giving him freedom and allowing him to tell you things without freaking out is gonna push him to do things and more secretly so do you wanna be informed on what ur son is doing by trusting him to tell you and teaching him to be safe or do you want things done behind your back?
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I think 1. Lines may have been crossed somewhere.
2. I totally understand you not wanting them unsupervised, but supervised and you weren’t willing to let him go, is pushing it like a lot and this is coming from the mom of a 14 girl.
3. I don’t see why you wouldn’t want them to go over to other’s houses, that’s a bit , I mean A LOT much.
4. Again, I think it was miscommunication/misunderstanding.
5. As others said, you are really going to push him away, I consider us “strict” parents, but we even let our 14 daughter go to her boyfriend’s, she knew our rules.
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just give him some space to breathe
you are over the top here, he’s 14 not 4
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I feel like a lot of you People commenting would very quickly change your views if her kid was the daughter… and at 14, just got pregnant… “why did yoh leave them alone” “this is your fault”… blah blah blah…
I do feel that not allowing them to spend time together inmpublic settings without a chaperone is a little much, let them catch a movie, walk in town, fun days together… show them that you are trusting them. But putting a ban on alone in the bedroom, I think is reasonable. And if you explain to your kid why, and the consequences of what could happen, or what they may get accused of untruthfully… then they will understand too…
Loose the reins a little in one way, and they will respect you a little more for that rule 
hugs x
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I wouldnt allow him back simply bc his parents disrespected your beliefs just bc they have obviously have opposing beliefs. Maybe take them on public dates drop them and pick up. It’d help them feel like they have a little alone time and is more reasonable than leaving them alone in a basement for sure.
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I had strict parents. I found ways around their rules and ended up having my 1 st child at 16
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I’m sorry I do not understand , open communication and trust is something you should have , your son told you the truth , that should be good enough to know that he is responsible…and btw…if two kids wants to get together without adult supervision …
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cut the chord, momma. maybe trust your child a little more. This is so controlling. You’re going to have your hands full because that boy is gonna rebel
This is so sad.
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For more parents like you 
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Your kid, your rules. However, he’s at that age where he is growing into himself, finding himself. If you leave no room for growth, he will rebel. Its natural for him to want to grow, explore, do things on his own. I get where your concern is and I’ve always told my son, if a girl says no, it means “NO.” And he has to be the stronger one to accept the rejection and walk away first. If not, find yourself locked up in jail or being a father at 14. All you can do is trust that you did your part and he will respect you enough to do his part. Allow him to grow and make his own mistakes. Learn now is better than later after he’s 18 or it goes on his record. Key is to educate your kid how to protect himself. If these kids want to find alone time, they will eventually anyway they can. You won’t be able to supervise them 24hr.
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He’s 14. Stop controlling him like you’re Mother Gothe. It’s emotional abuse. If they’re going to be up to no good, it will just happen somewhere. Far better that you know where he is and with who.
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Wow he’s 14 not 4… calm down, poor boy having a mum like you 
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Yah think he won’t sneak out ? You keep doing it , they will not want you to be around
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Sorry to say this, but parents like you raise teenage parents… overbearing and controlled 2 much? Way over controlling… it’s like keeping sweets away from a kid for years and then telling them, you can only have one… you clearly don’t trust your son who according to your post has never done anything to not have your trust. Wow. Just wow
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They’re wrong for lying to you but you’re wrong for being overbearing. Kids will sneak around if they want to. Stress the importance of being safe in case they do anything. No one wants their child to become a parent at 14 but treating him like he’s 7 is only going to make him sneaky
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Can someone say helicopter mom?? Like seriously? I too have a 14 year old son who I trust fully to make the right choices. He goes out with friends (females and males) unchapparoned quite often. Watching a movie at his gf house with parents there is completely normal. You know, your son will begin to despise you and then sneak around because you’re too overprotective. You can kiss your relationship goodbye between you and him because he will find a way around your overbearingness. My advice is to trust him to make the right choices and communicate!! You may think he’s too young to be alone with a female but he will find a way whether you know about it or not, so its best to have his trust rather than sneak behind your back.
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He told you the truth so respect him fr that. He’s 14 and growing up, let him have some freedom or et the girl come over to your house xx
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My son and daughters “friends” came to my house then I had the ability not control to see and know everything that went on what rooms they perused etc. Then when they became older young adults I would always tell them, “I don’t want to know, I don’t want to know any details” My god I had to hear everything they couldn’t shut up about their dates their lives and even their friends would come tell me everything that they were not telling their parents, they are 34 and 32 and they still do it!!!
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Just put him in a big bubble so he doesn’t get hurt.
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He’s gonna find a way to do what he wants. You should have a talk with him about safety
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Your trying to protect him but your being over protective and it will cause him to rebel sooner or later…I’d rather my son be able to come to me with issues or problems rather than being that strict parent that causes him to do things behind my back…gotta pick your battles he’s 14 not 4 and rather you like it or not he’s growing up and needs to explore himself and things that us as parents are already been through…loosen the leash mom or you’ll regret it later
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my advice is don’t be shutting everyone down while hoping they all just let you have it your way. doesn’t work in your favor when you’re not participating at all. can’t say too much to her parents really. by not letting her come over you’re shutting yourself out of knowing what they’re even like together and only able to make assumptions. In return, your son is not likely to respond how you you think he will. you’re already kinda telling him to stop doing something you don’t even know he’s doing or not. Get involved more and let them be teenagers. then your point of view will be taken more serious when its accurately reflecting their actions
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Talk to them both about protecting themselves and they should wait a few more years and cut the cord.
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So you rather that he Started lying that he is somewhere out with friends than being In house Where There are adults watching them-he is 14 so watching him doesnt mean have eyes on 24/7 … i mean my 12 year old brother has more freedom than What you has described here. Btw, If they want to break your rules and potentionally “be intimite” you wont stop it unless u lock him at home and control him even more. What you should do In my opinion is accept that he is growin up and have adult conversation with him of What happens and teach him What not to do and How to behave to avoid any wrong situation or to became really young parent. Just teach him!
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Kids will find a way round the rules. They will find ways to get round to doing what you don’t want them to do. To be totally honest if they’re the same age at 14 better to teach about being safe! If you get my drift. Personally I didn’t get up to much at 14. But I know kids these days can be different. He’s becoming an adult. Don’t treat him like a child. I once said to my son in his teens, your at a difficult age. You’re not a child but not quite an adult. He’ll understand that, hopefully.
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So u need to relax and have a sit down talk with him about consent and just chill because honestly you just keep being the way your being and he’s go to run away & rebel my mom used to be where I wasn’t allowed to the mall to hang out with friends I wasn’t allowed out past a certain time I wasn’t allowed to go to a boys house even with a group of friends and I rebelled and got pregnant at 17 almost 18
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Strict parents breed sly children.
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My son is 15 yr old just finished his Freshman yr and he snuck a girl in my home many times and I barely found out. She is a junior at his school. They have been having sex and she had been giving him head!! I found in his phone they have even taken showers upstairs in his bathroom. I’m very protective and I ran her off and grounded him from everything under the sun!! I had the sex talk with him many times took him to planned parenthood got him educated on stds and he got condoms. I can’t make sure he uses them I can only educate him. I’m super disappointed he isn’t waiting until after high school. I was a teen mom and got pregnant on birth control. All we can do is prepare our kids with the knowledge they need. 14 chaperoned is acceptable. Shit even 15. Moms are bashing you in here is crazy to me just because you don’t want him to regret making the wrong choices. I fully get it. I would treat both my sons and daughters the same. I will say this, he will find a way to do whatever he wants so just just give him the knowledge he. Needs to know and condoms. Ask the other mom if her daughter is on birth control. Some parent are way to trusting and very Blind and think “my kid doesn’t do that”. Follow your gut mama!!
Yeah it’s really inevitable you should prefer them
Be safe. At their age you should really consider discussing safe sex and birth control. My mom let my boyfriend move into our home when I was 14 and he was 15. He was in a no so great situation. And we never had sex that young even having plenty of opportunity, especially given the fact he lived there until he was 18.
But all I’m saying is they will find a way if they’re going to the will and better to discuss being safe so they know they can come to their parents for proper prevention methods.
The more you try to stop it, the more he’s gonna fight it and do more stuff that you don’t like and he’s just going to start lying about it
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some of these comments are ridiculous. ppl today are mean they don’t take responsibility. the ones calling this mom a helicopter mom/overprotective are what’s wrong with the world today. this mother doesn’t want her son to be a teenage father; nor wants him having a criminal record due to someone else’s parent being irresponsible. no children shouldn’t be left alone together. they’ll get bored & then get curious; and that’s exactly how “accidents” happen.
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I have 3 boys my 14year old has several girl mates who he has grown up with and they regularly stay over… You literally are going to push your kid away!!! Seriously I had extremely strict overbearing parents and at 14 I was completely off the rails!!! My son is a great kid amazing grades good group of friends and we are extremely close… I have to trust he will be sensible and make good choices!!!
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If u keep this up he’s gonna start doing stuff behind ur back… he told you the truth about were they were, if u trip out every time he will start to lie… Let him be 14. Don’t shadow him to much bc then he will hid everything bc his mom will just freak out… That’s y I could never tell my mom I had had sex, and I had a baby at 19. Bc the window was never opened for me to be honest with out freak out
Turn down your crazy 
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You are overreacting.
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Wow you sound over bearing, I’d be breaking the rules to. Why can’t she come over and he go there?
You shouldn’t tar others because of your actions as a teenager.
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You remind me of a fly on the wall 
. He’s 14 let him enjoy his life before he’s thrown into bills and depression 
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I think you should spend time with your son and his gf to see how they act around each other. My daughter is 14 and she has a boyfriend. Right now they are in the living room playing Xbox. She has other friends over sometimes and I overheard them talking about first kisses. Then theirs other kids who are all over each other. You can find out a lot by spending time around them.
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You sound very over powering .
As a teenager I’d of resented you and rebelled
You’ll only cause a bigger problem
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The stricter you are the sneakier your kiddo will beco.e when it comes to a significant other. At 14, the fact that you gave a rule of no visiting the others houses period was a bit absurd. Like there was nothing wrong with that pool party. And now because you weren’t welcoming of the gf at your house your son will likely begin sneaking to hers. You honestly should have, after the pool party, invited the girl over for dinner. You’ve put yourself in a rough place to be honest.
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so i think u need to stop being so paranoid #1…
and #2, cut the f’in cord lady. geeze
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The tighter you try to hold on to someone, is the more you push them away
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oh wow is this for real?! Because how your handling your 14 year old son with girls is so wrong. Oh wow. Your THE nightmare mom for kids.
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he’s 14. To be chaperoned literally EVERYWHERE because he has a girlfriend is OTT. He will rebel and do a lot of things behind your back and will start lying to you. It is far too strict you are assuming that they are going to be fucking all over the place etc but thinking that is just fucked up. So talk to him and explain stuff to him teach him. then let him be a boy not a baby he will respect you for it.
Yeahhh you’re gonna be a grandma soon. And it’s due to you being so dang harsh and strict. Teens are gonna rebel.
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The girl’s parents shouldn’t have said they wouldn’t be in the basement and then let them do just that. However, they could well have been checking on them frequently so nothing could happen between them. I think you are right to be worried as who knows what else they could backtrack on. However, l think you could ease up a little on the rules. Allow the girl over to your house to sit with you all. Gradually let them have a little more freedom i.e. watch a movie in another room but keep popping in unannounced to check on them and warn them you will be doing so. At least when they are at yours you know they are abiding the rules. Once you get to know the girl and she builds up respect for you, you open up the channels of trust. What you don’t want is her parents agreeing to your rules then letting them do the opposite, that is not on. Hopefully when you build a relationship with the girl, things will be easier for you all.
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I agree with you. My 14 year old when 13 was left alone with his gf at the gf’s house and then did the deed… your not crazy.
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I can smell the mommy issues on this poor boy already.
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Wow huge over reaction
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You’re being a cock block
The parents should respect your wishes. It’s true, boys can be accused of terrible things and can have their lives turned upside down. Have her over if you want to supervise them, don’t let him go there.
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Well they are both minors. If he were 18 and she were 15…then you have a valid point about the accusing etc.
However, you have to give a little slack. Have the girl over…get to know her on your terms/ territory. Good luck.
Wow, ya kid is 14 and people calling you a helicopter mum for not wanting your son to knock up some little chicky or be accused of something horrific. How dare you care about your son, you horrible mother 
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Allow her to come over and you supervise.
I’m confused!!! Has you son been accused??? If not. Then. Yes you are over reacting.
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I am so glad you are not my Mother, you would have been to hell and back and probably rented a room there if I were your daughter. Jeez woman, ease up a bit otherwise you will be dealing with an addict or teenage pregnancy or suicide etc…
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Why can’t she come to your house?
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You have a serious point. A.) she could get pregnant. And worse? What control, or choice would he have? And at that age? It’s nearly impossible for young relationships to last long… especially with a baby. OR especially with other options that can cause emotional problems.
B.) she definitely could get mad at him AND pull that devious card. Oh and YES if her parents lied with this what else would they lie about?
You need to sit him down and explain that HE is a minor. Sit and watch the Depp vs Heard trial. Google registered sex offenses and show him ages and reasons for that too. Or google articles about broken families. How father’s are fighting for their children.
I love how so many assume being a helicopter parent will make kids want to do stuff more. Lenient parents deal with this too! The drug abuse, the unwanted pregnancies, oh and yes the legal battles for their kids.
You do need to sit and talk to him, truthfully and explain how wrong that was at this point in time. And ask HIM serious questions of how he’d feel, handle, manage those situations on his own. Set boundaries. Such as you get arrested I am NOT bailing you out and no cannot afford a lawyer for you. If SHE gets pregnant SHE’S too young to get an abortion, she can’t even get the plan b pill at her age. Not without PARENTAL consent. And even if her lying parents do that? Ultimately HOW will HE feel? His control of choices would be stripped away one way or another. And it would be his word against hers for whatever lies her parents say.
Oh FYI nay sayers. Parents these days? Are included in being held liable and responsible. 
and 9 year olds ARE in jail. So let’s not pretend there’s a darker side to a coin that no parent needs to be concerned with. 
BE concerned.
This is an issue with boundaries. And I love seeing all the people pushing boundaries as adults. Chastising away over those. Totally neglecting how he is 14! A minor. These rules can change when he’s older. But instilling morals, values and boundaries? Isn’t bad right on up to making set changes. Just don’t neglect to teach him to think and understand his options or choices with the what if’s in life.
P.S. better tell the kid that HER parents lied. Due to that infraction you can no longer trust what they say. And if the parents lie… how can you expect the daughter not too? Also … ensure you praise your kid for telling you the truth and being honest. He’s not the one you’re mad at … “yet”. Talk to him with honesty. And ask him questions to place him in some form of sense of control. How would you handle this? Do you know that this could happen? How does this consequence make you feel? How do you think you would react if? And now knowing why I’m upset and why… plus that HER parents lied and why I strongly feel that she could too… what do you think should happen? Get his feed back. He should be upset as well.
As for the parents… I’d definitely give them a diplomatic piece of my mind. If in short simply stating MY son is no longer aloud over at your house, and no your daughter isn’t welcomed here.
click
I’d hate to be your son geez
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l get paid over $177 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18664 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
M0re Info. https://amazingworking14.pages.dev/
U r not crazy or paranoid u r a mother… and of course u know best for ur son! In this modern world u just never knw… and each one of us is trying our best to supervise our own child… wen a mother is asking for an advise or help NEVER say she is crazy coz we are all crazy smtimes mother dosnt come wit manual we all deal wit our own in different ways…
I personally would off course not trust the parent coz wat they told me is a different story of wat my kid told me… he was honest with u!
Talk to him and let him know how u feel… make sure u guys are on the same page…
Gud luck mama!!
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You sound crazy, honestly.
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Cut those apron string! They are going to do what they gonna do no matter what you say. Stop being a control fReak
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There going to do it weather your there or not, kids find ways. We’re you never a teenager? You making it such a big deal is just going to make it worse.
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Yup your son is about to start lying and going behind your back. You restrain too much he will start to rebel and resent you. There is no reason for her to come to YOUR house if you don’t trust him.
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Sounds like your son will never tell you anything ever again after this.
Stop with the crazy mom stuff. There 14.
You literally won’t let her go over their so how the hell is he suppose to see his girlfriend?
No offense but my bestfriend and I had this convo about her son and TRUST. This is what I’m talk about… you over react he will never tell you anything again and now he will just lie to you. ( I don’t blame him )
Also he will grow up to resent you because you never let him have any freedom.
Also he’s a kid and your projecting adult worries on him already!
Don’t come for me!
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Strict parents make sneaky kids. 
I’m sure you fall asleep at night and he has a window in his room. I had an alarm on my window and still managed to sneak out through my window
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How can everyone call her crazy? This is her child she has every right to want to control the situation and prevent the possibility of teenagers getting pregnant and all that. Each one of us have our own rules when it comes to parenting and we all have the right to parent the way we want or how we believe is right for her and her family If she wants this way for her child then so be it,not one of you guys should be calling her crazy because she cares about her kid and is trying to prevent him from possibly becoming a parent or what not.
People these days are crazy for calling her crazy.
My opinion speak with your child and tell him your concerns how you feel and why you feel that way, then from this point on do not allow him to go back there, your child your rules.
Do what’s best for you and YOUR child.
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Whether you try to control the situation or not, teenagers are going to rebel if they want to. There is no manual to parenting these days. I would definitely have a talk with him about condoms/babies etc.
Do the best you can and move forward. There are also boundaries that the parents crossed and you have every right to feel what you feel. You have teenage moms all the time, and it’s understandable that you’re trying to prevent that. Majority of the parents on here don’t care. I had a strict dad and a very laid back mom, who let me make my own decisions. At the end of the day a teenager needs the love of a parent who cares about their decisions. Good luck mama.
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That’s the world we live in. Unfortunately, there are those who will get mad and do everything they can to make sure the other one pays the price. Just check social media. It’s almost like a trend and there’s so many falsely accused. So, I get it. There’s been a lot of people’s lives messed up for what you’re trying to prevent. Once you’ve been accused, it’s hard to come back from even if you’re not guilty. However, if you’ve raised a good kid and trust him, then hopefully everything will be okay. I would be cautious as I’m the type I don’t like someone to lie to me… especially about my kids. If an adult will lie and think it won’t hurt then the kids can see that and think the same. I like honesty and transparency. Let’s keep it real. Teens have sex but it’s up to us as parents to teach them the consequences of those actions. Prepare them for the real world. Let them know of teen pregnancy and how hard it is for anyone in this world right now. Also, remind them of STDs and how rampant they are and show them statistics so they can see. Be honest with your son. Life is hard enough without the nonsense. Good luck. 
Learn to trust your children. Think you totally over reacted.
Yes, I would be mad at that mom. I can’t stand a liar. But you can’t control other adults, so I wouldn’t say anything unless she calls and asks him to come over again. But my take away from this story is, your son was honest with you. He could have easily lied! He didn’t. So don’t punish him. But, I wouldn’t allow my kid to go back over there and explain to him why! That mom ruined it for her daughter! Communication ,calmly, is best. But, because your son was honest, I would allow her to come over to your place, where you can supervise! You sound like a great mom that loves her kids! They will appreciate it one day!
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I was like that .but realize they can go to school and find away.so I had them at my house to get know the girl
And watch them
YAAAAA NO, made it past the first sentence and should’ve just stopped. You’re wrong wrong DEAD fkn wrong in every mf aspect. Just NO
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Ooof.
This had me cringing throughout.
I understand your intent, and I think your heart is in the right place, but I think your reactions and expectations are a bit misguided.
I get the impression that you’re trying to protect your son and that you care very much for him - both of which are wonderful! However, completely refusing to allow him to see her, at her house or yours, is a bit unreasonable. I empathize with rules, but it’s very possible to meet in the middle and allow her over to your home so you can supervise as you please. Not allowing it at all will lead to your son not feeling heard or respected, which will create a rift between you two and ultimately increase the likelihood that he will rebel and/or lie in the future.
I always tell my clients and their families - everyone has to give to get. Ensuring his safety and passing boundaries is healthy, completely stonewalling and refusing is not.
I think your anger/frustration is justified to a degree, but again, I think a lot of what you’re experiencing is confirmation bias 
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Think people are missing the point to this status, she is asking if she is over reacting about the mother lying to her, she is not saying she doesn’t trust her son. I think its better if your son & girlfriend are under supervision in yours or her house, better then sneaking off and them hiding somewhere, I don’t think you are over reacting with what the girlsfriends mum as done though, how would she feel if you lied to her about what her daughter would be doing ect, she has spoilt it for her own daughter and boyfriend now.
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I see both sides of this but you’re going to make your son not trust you if you keep acting this way
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Well your going to loose your son. The amount of resentment he’s going to have for the terrible childhood you are forcing him to have is is sad. You need to rethink the issues YOU have and stop taking that out on your son.
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Your son is about to rebel because you have him in a head lock
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Just went through raising a teenager. The more you say no, the more they hide. They sneak and do what they can. He will start hiding stuff from you. I’d start allowing the girlfriend to visit in your house so you can make sure no funny business happens. If you try to stop it, he’s just going sneak and then you may end up right where you’re trying not to be!
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Are u mad. He is 14 give him some room to breathe
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Too over protective. Usually when that happens, kids find a way anyways and all it does is hurt your relationship and cause him to be in deeper shit. Talking from
Experience here. Kids are going to do what kids are going to do. Better that you give him some leverage and trust under your house hold.
I for see some lying and being sneaky.Weren’t you a teen at one point?Mine are 20,18,15,14 and guess what?Theyre all super honest(my 20 yo is a Marine)and,good kids.We are open and honest with each other.You need to loosen up some or your sons going to be in some type of counseling when he gets older.You say you trust your son but,it sure don’t seem like it.
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Poor kiddo. Cut the umbilical cord already! He’s not 10! He’s a teenager. I thought my mom was controlling. And I did rebel against her control. He will too. I vowed to be the type of parent that my kids can always go to. You need to let go before you lose him. Teach him how to protect himself in all ways. Then let him live.
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You sound like a control freak tbh.
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To the people saying she’s over controlling, that’s ridiculous. I was certainly not allowed alone with boys at 14 YEARS OLD. I wouldn’t want my child at 14 being unsupervised either! Teens are getting pregnant at younger ages. Just because you teach them to be safe about it doesn’t mean condoms don’t break and little girls don’t get pissed off and lie saying the boy touched her just because she’s mad. I’ve seen it happen. Its your kids. Parent them how you want. I’d be LIVID if I was lied to by an ADULT. Shows honestly they don’t give a shit what their daughter is doing and they don’t have respect for you either. I wouldn’t let my son go back.
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You’re completely over reacting here…
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She’ll ask again and I would let her have it .
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Jesus I’d hate you to be my mother your a total control freak. Your poor son he must find you so
Embarrassing. Carrying on the way you are will only make him want to push you away and rebel against you and your overbearing rules. He’s a teenager let him be one and stop treating him like a baby. You have issues like. He will end up hating you for ruining his teenage years.
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Society is very quick to blame the parent of males who objectify and abuse females but when a parent is proactive to #1- protect thier minor from a situation that could easily lead to poor choices and #2 leaving your Son open to possibly being accused of inappropriate behavior…
You can’t win!
Just as we need to protect young Girls from situations beyond thier maturity level, we need to with our Boys too!
Way to go Momma. I’d wait until the next invite and explain your point then move on!
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I am saying this from a place of love. I was raised like this. I ran off the weekend I turned 18 to get married in another state, I snuck to a hotel when I was 16 just so we could have s e x. It’s really good to have boundaries and sticking to your guns but a little leniency at least letting her come to your house. He will sneak around. I would recommend maybe going to dinner or coffee with the other mom. I think you are really doing your best and want to protect not just your child but their daughter. Express WHY you believe x,y,z. Then suggesting them hanging out st your house is probably best.
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I’m 32 and would most definitely sneak out of your house just to get away from your control. Your son is going to live either way. He’s going to either be open and honest about his life but that’s only if he can trust you. Or he’s going to hide and sneak behind your back because he’s not allowed to live.
I, too, have a 14 year old son. He’s very responsible and respectful. It’s all in how you raise them. Be careful on the environment you create.
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Maybe I’m just one of the few but I had an extremely strict Mom and strict Dad and I never turned out sneaky. I was way too scared to disappoint them so I never did anything until I was 18 and didnt have my first pregnancy til i was in my 20s. Being strict doesn’t always result in having a sneaky or rebellious kid. With that being said, I think chaperoning the kids would be ok but the fact that the parents did the opposite of what u were told would happen, my son wouldn’t be going back over there anytime soon and I’d have a talk with the other parent about it. You are a good Mom, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
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You seem hella controlling and obsessed with you son. Let that boy have a girlfriend and get out of his business
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Let them watch TV at your house and you will know they are supervised but loosen up some or they WILL SNEAK AND LIE. My mother had 6 and we could always bring friends to our house but she was much more strict if we wanted to go elsewhere and for good reason
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Tough love, yes this is needed. Stop going at this mom for parenting her child. He’s a teenager. It’s her job to set boundaries. To protect him. It doesn’t matter how free or tough she is. He is a teenager. He will lie and sneak at some point. So boundaries and consequences need to be set. She is his parent first, friend last. With that said as my thought process.
I have 5 children, youngest now 17. I have a friend her oldest of 3 is 16. When they were both 12 and 13. Making my 4 oldest 18 and older. Point is I’ve lived through many teenage years. Told her she needed to set rules and boundaries.
She told me no, she trust her kids, they had open relationships and talked.
They won’t lie to me, blah blah blah. I just laughed and said ok.
Her 3 are now 14, 15, and 16.
16yr old girl now 8 months pregnant failing out of high school, 15yr old boy dating a 19yr old hooters tattoo filled dropout, and the 14yr old girl is known as the freshman class whore and said to be trying to get pregnant because she feels neglected with all the attention the older sisters getting for being pregnant 
.
So set rules and boundaries.
Stop being these kids friends and be a parent.