Let your son live his own life 
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Look. If you’re worried about them having sex, if they want to do it, they’ll find a way. You forcing your son not to go is honestly going to make him rebel against you. Maybe instead of trying to avoid him doing anything inappropriate, why not have a discussion with him about safe sex, respect and consent? But keep preventing him from going and he’ll resent you for it. If anything he’ll be tempted to go out more.
Your son is 14. He’s a boy. He’s about to hit the “gf” portion of his life. I’m embarrassed for him by the way you are behaving. You can’t shelter your kids. The more you pull that shit the more they are going to rebel. So the fact that he was still honest and told you what he did is amazing to me bc your scary to tell the truth to from what I see
Yikes. Yes, you’re overreacting and overbearing for that matter.
A little trust goes a long way.
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You have every right to be angry. Explain to your son that if things go too far and she gets pregnant he will have to get a job and that she will be taking 35% of his take-home pay. Explain that every time he gets excited for a promotion at work he’s going to have to do the math to figure out how much money she’s going to take all while he has his child 50% of the time and ask himself if he can afford to lose an additional chunk of money per month all while he has his child 50% of the time. Finally, inform him that other girls in his future won’t be too excited to take on his child from such an early age and the only ones he will get to date are the ones with weird parent issues. Good luck!
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Your poor son.If your like this now with him,when he’s 18 he will leave so fast and NEVER look back.
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Nothing will happen, except they’ll like each other more. #BuildingTrust#
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WOW…Controlling much
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This is probably not going to be popular opinion and I will go ahead and apologize for whoever it pisses off but all of you saying “ let him live his life”………he’s 14! Like it or not, his life right now is the responsibility of the parent. The adult. Most 14 year old brains are not mature enough to make life decisions. That is why parents are responsible for making those choices until the child is 18.
OK easy now warden! My brother was sleeping at his girlfriend’s house at that age. If he didn’t do something previously that made you lose trust, ease up on the shackles and chains. Perhaps, you have psychological issues letting go. If he feels imprisoned that may cause him to sneek out or even runaway. Look up things parents of successful adults did to raise their children. Trust and independence comes early on in life.
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Okay… Norma … maybe should let Norman off his leash a little 
dang I crack myself up 
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Teach him about making girls uncomfortable and the birds and the bees
You know something i could be a karen all day about how awful you sound by not letting them even eat together but ya you’re in the wrong here baby! Let them have fun you can’t stop teenagers and romance or whatever its called nowadays get your panties out of a bunch and let them be kids
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The more you stop your child from doing, the more they will do.
Teach him right from wrong, explain your concerns. Don’t shelter him!
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Your just gona make him be sneaky and go behind your back 
your better off teaching him about safe sex instead of putting all your effort in to making sure there never alone together
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this is just too funny, Why don’t invite the girl over to your house, so you can really see just how she acts. Yes, kids will try to deceive their parents, we all know that, if you are afraid they are going to have sex or fool around, they are going to do that whether they are at your house or hers or if there is any type of park or woods around, In other words they will do it whether there or there, Talk to your son about be sexual responsible, whether with her or anyone else
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your kid your rules, if you don’t feel like it’s safe then that’s your decision.
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Since your question is about her mother lying to you and not if you’re questioning your parenting… No, I do not think you’re overreacting. I would never allow my child to go to a person’s home knowing that they do not respect my wishes as a parent, whether it is a friend/boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever. Others may believe that 14 is old enough to begin having that semi-restricted freedom of choice but you don’t and that, ultimately, is what matters. Your child, your rules. Period. Mom should have had the decency to say that they would be in the basement and allowed you to choose whether or not you let your son go over. I personally wouldn’t reach out to her but if she called me again I would absolutely tell her about her lack of boundaries and respect for what YOU WANT FOR YOUR CHILD.
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I was kinda like that with my 3 my it’s hard .you worrie 14 yr Olds definitely do not make the best decisions sometimes. That’s what parents are supposed to do.not be thire best friend be a parent. Unless you want to be a grandparent when your kid is 14 guess who pays child support? Not the kid the grandma does.
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My partners son was falsely accused by a girl that he’d raped her. They were under age and she reported him to the police. The police arrived to take him for questioning. His phone was seized and scrutinised. Endless interviews, emotional anguish, it was awful. Took a lot of investigation to declare her a liar. I’m sorry but I agree with this mamma. Don’t let your child get into a situation he can’t control. He was probably too polite to so no and if he’d tried who knows what he would of been accused of.
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You are not crazy. Unless you’re looking to raise another baby along with your son say no. 14 is too young for anything more than going out in groups. I’d say invite her over to hang out with all of you and have open conversations with your son.
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Loosen the leash mom
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This is proof that kids will do what they want even if you say no and you could make him very uncomfortable with telling the truth about the big stuff by blowing the small stuff out of proportion . 14 is a healthy age for them to date just be sure to have conversations about dating dos and donts and trust him . 
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You sound crazy. Your son is going to resent you if you don’t relax a Little bit. Claiming false rape is not a common thing either. Wow lady.
Ok easy warden when he rebels hardcore then that’s on uou.
Why don’t let you’re kid be him and teach him safe ways.
What your doing isn’t sane either you need help
You’re son I’m sure understands
Not touch it do anything bad
You can control but also from a distance
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Hes gonna lash out here shortly and it’s gonna be 10x worse than what you’re “dealing” with now … loosen the leash…
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He’ll be running away soon and becoming defiant so prepare yourself… you caused it!!.
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You are both right and wrong here. You are wrong to assume this girl is so horrible that your son cannot even go to her house or have her over. They are kids, just set boundaries and be nice and get to know her and welcome her as his current special person. What a great time to model what you want and expect rather than assume they are only wanting to have sex. Guess what, kids also just like being together doing other stuff.
You are right to be upset that you were lied to though.
I also think you are setting yourSelf up for your own kid to lie to you going forward if you don’t allow him to start doing things that are normal for his age such as spending time with a girl. I think you are better off discussing your concerns with him and arming him with knowledge and trust and good values. Also, having her over let’s you get to know her and their relationship. I always liked having my kids special people over and around me. I got to see a whole new side of my kid developing. Good luck mama
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Maybe more faith in your son would be appropriate not the parents of some 14 year old.
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Honestly I get it but it’s are going to find a way one way or another. Either compensate in a safe way or you’re going to be creating resentment
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My parents were strict. I could not even call boys unless they were home. I got pregnant . My mom wishes now she talked to me about sex and how to protect myself. I’ve instilled it in my son that no means no and as soon as a girl says no he is to put his hands in the air and leave.
Teach him to protect himself
I grew up in a STRICT house with parents like you. Let me tell you what I did. The more my mom told me my BF wasn’t allowed at our house or I his the more I would lie and sneak out to meet him. I also would wait until my parents were sleeping and bolt out the window at night to see him. I also had friends pretend they were the parents and call my mom and say they wouldn’t allow us in a room alone. Unfortunately the more you do this the stronger you make your son defy you. It has the opposite effect! When I married and had children I swore to never do that to them because I now what I did and new they may also. I allowed the boys at my house and they had to be in the living room at ALL times where I visually seen them. Bedrooms were off limits. I had to trust my daughters to do the right things and allow them to be teenagers including instilled morals values in each of them. I also explained in GREAT details of any choice’s they made that would be wrong and damaging. I raised 4 beautiful trustworthy daughters that I taught the good and bad outcomes of choices they would make or think of making. I never lied to them on what might happen. By doing things the way you are you are teaching your son that honesty isn’t the best with you. And he will lie to you about everything because he knows he cannot trust you because you DON’T and won’t trust him. I hope all these comments will help you understand that by holding him back it’s causing more harm than good.
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No…you are not crazy!
The girls Mother lied to you!
Don’t start a war with her…stay silent.
The next time only let him go there if there is a group…
14 is too young to be a Dad.
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Are we not supposed to guide our kids through life? Instead of one day at 18 being like ok here I’d the world jump in. I feel our job is to help them understand situations and be a life teacher in moments. Teach him the right and wrongs of dating. Teach him to be a gentleman. One day the thing you were fighting so hard against by not allowing it will be the day he’s already gone around your back and done it his way. The only way he knows how. It’ll definitely not be what you all want. Mend relationships and grow stronger together. lots to learn.
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So… to put it bluntly. I think you’re very much acting OVERLY crazy… he’s 14 years old. He’s really not allowed to see his girlfriend unless they are in a public place?? I understand they shouldn’t be left totally alone at 14, but you won’t even let the girlfriend come over if you are supervising?? If you crazily shelter your children like this, they’ll be out doing exactly the opposite of what you want in no time. Mark my words, I was one of those sheltered children… You sound like one of those moms who wants her son all to herself forever and ever. Your son is gonna have sex at some point and you’re not gonna be able to stop it. But what you can do, is educate and enlighten him on the dangers and possible consequences of having unprotected sex. Kids are going to do what they’re going to do, and you can’t supervise him every minute of every day, so why don’t you just properly prepare him with the birds and bees conversation? Maybe these girl’s parents trust her because they’ve had this discussion with her already? Something’s gotta give, because if you keep acting like this, he’ll be having sex in no time just to spite you.
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I must add my two cents. Yes, I would be upset that the girl’s mom lied to me. You and your husband are responsible for sharing your values with your son. You cannot keep your son away from the world.
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Try trusting him and talk to him …tell him bout why your worried.i gave my boys trust and they always gave me no reason not too
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Keep this up and you’re going to have even more issues. I don’t see nothing wrong with it tbh. There’s adults in the house. You’re ok with him having a girlfriend but they can’t hang out. Makes no sense. I’d rather have them be at someone’s house then be out and about at an arcade or what not
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Yes. I would be mad. I would confront the mom about lying to you.
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Why don’t you trust your son?
But to answer the question… yes. I would be enraged about the mom lying.
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Or how about you have an actual conversation with your 14 year old son who’s about to start trying to be an adult and start high school about the dangers of unprotected sex and unwanted pregnancies. The more you say “No” the more sneaky a child gets. The more you punish the more they’ll pull away. He is a kid with actual feelings, not a dog ready to obey your every command.
Is it possible she’s not lying and your son is annoyed with your overbearing controlling behavior and intentionally saying things he knows will get under your skin? I know I said some things that irritated my mom. And her overbearing controlling habits actually pushed me away.
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The situation could have changed and she didn’t intentionally lie to you.
I’m gonna give you a piece of advice tho, learn to loosen the reins. Being this tight is only going to backfire.
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It’s sounds like you’re just pushing the two of them to find unsafe locations to do what they want to do, which sounds like they just want to hang out. I think you need to have a little more trust in your son, and educate him if you’re so worried.
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Simple. He don’t go back over.
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You have every right to be upset that is your child and the other parent lied (over something so little). Reading all of these answers on how “@14 they were sneaking out to have sex or you being overprotective” makes my head hurts. Whatever happens to respecting your parents home? This is a minor (your son) tf is leave him alone and stay out of his business?! So in guessing half of these people will come together and contribute 
if something goes wrong
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I don’t understand why you don’t want to meet the parents?? That way you can both get to know each other cos I would want to know her parents and see how they are with rules ect and chat about the kids not wanting to know the parents is abit silly in my opinion so you know your son is safe with the adults do you even know the girlfriend?? If your letting your son go over without knowing who he’s with ie parents girlfriend maybe get to know them you’ll feel much better and he is being chaperoned by who?? Adults??? Which adults??? You don’t even know who’s watching them maybe invest a little bit more into his life and you might loosen the reins.
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14 they both can cause pregnancy JS
Kids like that are the same one who go out an get introuble in secret cause their parent is so overbearing, they start to act out an do secretive things to avoid your reactions.
Been there myself.
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You need to work on being a safe person to go to with the truth. Otherwise, you’re going to have lies and sneaking.
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Seek counseling for your enormous control problem. Your poor child.
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You’re not crazy, everyone wants to protect their babies. But hes gonna do it whether you want him to or not and if you say no he will just do it and not tell you putting a wall between yous. If hes going to just prepare him. Be there for him and listen to him.
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You sound like a psychopath 
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Did your son know he wasn’t supposed to go unsupervised? He is old enough to speak up. Still then, I am the same way. Even with my husband, either one of us go alone with the opposite gender. I’d want nothing less for my son and daughter until they are married. It isn’t overbearing. I find it a very wise thing. I would ask what happened but more then likely would not have him over there anymore. Just have her come to your house if you are okay with that.
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And… Everyone knows and!
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Sounds like control issues
And you lied to us all saying you “trust” your son
Besides he told you the truth and didn’t lie saying he was upstairs with the parents the whole time…
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Nothing wrong with her coming over or him going over.
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U r absolutely rite.
Raise ten kinds of hell w her mama

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Why don’t you want the girl at your house? Your doing all the bitching but you won’t have her over. You are pushing hi away. Buy him some condom’s.
Wow, the lying is Not okay but you’re beyond overbearing. You need to trust your son. You’re only going to make him go behind your back. Smh
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Sounds like my life when I was growing up let me tell you of you don’t let your kid breathe you will have a rough relationship if any relationship with your son I understand stand where you are coming from maybe start by having her come over to your house so you can get to know what kinda girl she is when my parents did what you are doing to your son it made me more rebellious and if they told me I can’t hang out with her Guess what I started to sneak out I started to do drugs I start to go down the wrong path pick and choose your battles not all battles are worth fighting as some will be lost you can’t stop love or so called love that’s just in are nature but you can facilitate and keep an eye on your son and her at your own home as you know what your boundaries are and you know that her parents don’t seem to respect those boundaries not saying that their parents are in the right but I don’t think you’re in the right either I hate for you to lose your son over you controlling him if he wants to hang out with her and be so called boyfriend girlfriend he’s going to do it whether you give him permission or not it’s probably end up being better if you ended up giving him permission versus fighting him over this situation
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I think your son should have voiced he wasn’t to be unsupervised. At 14 he should know the rules and to follow them. It’s disheartening she didn’t respect your decisions but end of the day it’s upto him to apply your rules not trust other people to do it.
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You have a right to be mad, but moreso this is on you. You should have stuck with your gut. You don’t know these people and had no reason to trust them. Don’t call, just don’t let him go back.
You sound crazy, I understand protecting your kid but you’re going overboard.
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I can understand being upset about the lying however in my opinion you have to trust that you raised your child to be a decent human being and use protection if he decides to have sex which is where I thought this was going. As a mom of 3 boys 25,19 and 11 I can relate even to worrying about a girl saying that something happened and that my boys did it BUT if that’s your main concern then it’s YOUR responsibility to get to know the young lady AND her parents so that you know if it’s ok for them to hang out. Having teenagers suck because they are at an age where they need time to make mistakes so that by the time they leave the nest they can navigate life on their own but also still your responsibility to keep them from making huge mistakes that will alter their life all together. You’re going to either let them be and just make sure your son and their daughter are educated and hope for the best or don’t let them hang out at all. But having him in this weird space trying to keep yourself comfortable with the situation is just going confuse him and most likely end up with them doing what they want to do anyway with or without your blessing. I would ask the mom why she thought it necessary to lie to you in any case because whether she thinks your rules are ridiculous or not she shouldn’t be teaching her daughter and your son that it’s ok to lie to you about the situation
I find that very odd that you wouldn’t want to meet her or have her over for dinner even if you are home. Honestly, you are going to push your child to sneak around and lie to you. My parents were like that growing up and I rebelled because of it. Your kid will never trust you and never want to come to you for anything and that’s NOT RIGHT! Any child should always feel comfortable to go their parents for anything. My opinion you’re setting him up for failure and to rebel. Think you need to ease up a bit. Get to know the girlfriend, get to know they’re relationship, be in contact with her parents, lay down boundaries that aren’t absolutely ridiculous. I have 3 children, ages 17, 15 and 12 who tell me everything, maybe more than I even want to know, but my children don’t lie to me, they don’t sneak out or around, I always know where they are and I made a point to get to know my kids friends parents as well.
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If teenagers want to " mess" around, they’re gonna find a way and I can’t imagine the would fool around with parents around d the corner. Lighten up
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So if they can’t hang out at your house or her house where do they get to hang out? You know that even in public places kids will sneak off and do stuff right? I’d much rather have my kids at my house with their friends or girlfriends so I can keep an eye on them lol.
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l get paid over $177 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18664 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
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What if her parents had cameras in the basement and were watching them on the cameras? Just a thought…
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Teenage pregnancies are a REALITY! You want to make sure your son has his best chance in life and that’s fine Mama, if you weren’t concerned that would be questionable! You don’t have to do what the masses do…you do what you feel is right as his mom! He is still a kid, best of luck
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I agree with the comments above
your son gonna hate you
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Sounds like you were doing alot at 14 to not trust him
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Teach him about conforms fast
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I feel sorry for your kid. Let up a little. He’s gonna be one of those kids that leaves the minute he turns 18. Relax.
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Wait, so you allow him to have a gf but not see her? Teenagers are going to find a way with or without your approval.
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Your his parent and doing what you think is right to keep him safe. However her is 14 and needs a little freedom! Being that strict you should expect that he will probably just rebel more against you
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I wouldn’t want my son to have a kid at 14 either.
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I think you need some parenting classes and to resolve your control issues. I’m sorry you don’t trust how you raised your son- that must be scary. Taking your fragile insecurities out on a 14 year old or a strangers parents isn’t going to go well for you.
Good luck!
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you have got a death grip on that poor kid and you probably need to let loose a little bit otherwise I can guarantee you he is going to rebel. relax a little, have some trust. TALK to him about your concerns and keep your end open to let him voice his side of things as well. give a kid some trust and they might surprise you…
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I understand your pov. I support you as a fellow mother/parent. I do not support asking fb for any advice. We don’t know all the details or even a back story. We don’t know if you or someone close to you ever suffered trauma or abuse as a young child which could subconsciously be affecting how you make decisions with your children. FB is a a gathering of uncertified judges. Pray about it. Pray over it. Pray with your son. Pray for your son. You are raising a future king…
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I understand where you’re coming from but oh man, your son is going to want to never confide in you with stuff. Trust me, if teenagers want to mess around or have sex they’ll find a way. Plus it seems weird you wouldn’t want to have her over to get to know her better? That’s going to make them want to sneak around more eventually because it seems like you don’t like her.
Yiiiiikes! You should definitely cool your jets a little there, mama. Cut the umbilical cord, and accept that fact your son is growing up. He’s 14, either trust him, and give him space, or he’s going to start rebelling against you for being waaaay to over protective. Like, I get your POV. But at the same time, if the parents approve of him coming over there, that shows he’s obviously respectful of what they ask. Like, give him some room to breathe. And keeping him from ever being able to go over there again is only going to cause him to have resentment towards you. I would definitely reevaluate this whole situation before making a final decision that could be detrimental to you and your sons relationship.
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Its your word I get it but pull the stick out or ur going to have problems later…
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Why not get to know the girlfriend instead of automatically assuming she’d lie about assault? Your son seems to like her so why not let her come to your house for dinner where YOU can chaperone them and get to know her? If you keep up with how you’re doing things eventually he may start to try and lie to you and sneak around.
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Just an FYI… we have 14 year Olds sneaking off doing the naughty at school. You can’t have eyeballs on him 24/7. Raise him right and raise him to be safe.
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Aaand this is how you get teenagers who sneak around behind your back. Would I be supper happy with it? No probably not, but if you continue the chokehold you have on your kid, he’s gonna run so far away from you when he becomes and adult….
I know it’s hard thing to do, but maybe try trusting him until he does something untrustworthy?
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Yes I think u are over reacting. He will end up lying to u whenever he goes out. Has he done anything to make you this way
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Don’t listen to these people. You are doing what YOU feel is best for YOUR child. To answer the question that was really asked, I would say let it go until she ask again. Don’t cause unnecessary conflict between you guys. This girl will most likely not be his “girlfriend” in 6 months.
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You can’t stop people or teens from having sex. If that’s what you’re afraid of. All you can do is educate & be honest.
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Strict parents make sneaky kids you are being way too strict and honestly your kids are probably going to end up being sneaky because of this I know plenty of parents who have decided to do this and now our grandparents that are really young age or their kids are in trouble so honestly stuff being a Karen and actually listen to what your son wants if you don’t want him to do something educate him don’t just shut them out
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I didn’t leave my alone with a girl til they were 18 just didn’t trust no one I trusted my kids but couldn’t trust no one else still can’t .
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time had been change for years and have to learn not be controlling freak
If you want full supervision- host things at your OWN home? So that you know exactly what’s going on. And even still, give him choices and privacy at home.
ALSO, your son has a girlfriend. He’s 14, soon to be 15 and 16.
It’s time for the TALK.
Teach your son correctly. So that you don’t have to worry about the influence of other peers.
As for the parents, I wouldn’t send him back over because they indeed LIED.
Next time they will lie about a sleepover and leave them alone all night instead.
Next time they ask explain to them why he isn’t allowed over again. And teach your son so that you dont have to worry everytime he leaves the home.
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you’re fighting a loosing battle.youre definitely about to loose big.the more you try to keep him in a bubble the faster he’s going to bust yours.act like you want her around watch how fast he doesn’t.
If I despise one my boys love her if I like her they change their mind 
Experience talking.
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Honestly, you’re overreacting. You’re acting like the parents went out and just left them unattended. They were still at home just in a different room. Also, as for assault I’m not even sure why you would bring that up since nothing happened. You’re majorly jumping the gun on that. Your son seems to like the girl, so you should get to know her and her parents or he’ll eventually rebel against you and see her against your wishes anyway. Any time my mother told me I couldn’t see someone it made me try to see them whether it was a friend or boyfriend. The parents obviously know how you are or else they wouldn’t have lied. They probably lied just so your poor kid could have just a little freedom. You need to loosen up a little. Allow your kid to have friends over and allow him to see friends. Socializing is healthy for our kids. It allows them to learn and gain social skills.
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Little excessive on your part. This is how and why kids lie and sneak around. Yikes
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y’all did not answer her question. the way she parents her kid is up to her. it is wrong for a parent to lie to a parent just because they don’t agree with their choice
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100% overreacting. You should be building a solid foundation of trust. Your son ASKS and communicates with you that he wants to see this girl and spend time with her. She’s obviously an important part of his life right now.
If you were to step up and get to know the girl, it would show him that you respect and trust his choices.
If you keep handling this like you are, he WILL stop telling you things. He’ll start hiding his emotions and feelings. He’ll lie. Sneak out. Act out.
Trust your son. Get to know the girl. Trust the girl. As parents, we are meant to lead by example, show him what Trust is.
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