You sound crazy and how do you know parents weren’t checking on them and you keep doing that to him he will sneak off doing the opposite of what you want or just hating you
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May I suggest you ask the girl over & you all sit & watch a movie or have dinner together. Then in a room with an open door only policy, they can play cards or PlayStation or wi or Nintendo switch games or listen to music etc together.
That way they get to spend time together & you can keep an eye on them.
Or they do an activity together in a public setting where there’s agreed drop off & pick up times. That way they get a little freedom & you have confidence that they’re safe.
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I shocked your son didn’t run away yet/ people in jail have more right/ lighting up/
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Well then have her come over instead. So you can do the “supervising” problem solved. They are sneaking around because you are not giving them some space… my rules for my kids with girlfriend/boyfriend no closed doors, we would like to meet then at some point, don’t be afraid to bring them over for a meal, no closed doors and can’t be in the house unsupervised. Talk to your teen about reasonable, respectable boundaries and get their opinions as well. An trust your teen if not they will continue to seek around behind your back.
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Kids grow up you need to give them the space to grow. I know its hard. They are our babies. You have to know you raised a good kid and put trust in it. I had to loosen up with my daughter she is 17 now but let me tell you im glad i did. She doesn’t hide things from me and is open and honest because honestly will get you so much father then me catching her in a lie. We have had many bumps in the road to get to where we are now. Good luck i know this is a hard stage of parenting.
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My mom was pretty strict when I was that age. So I snuck around and did things behind her back. And even ended up becoming a teen mom. I now have a teenager and work with teens, I find it helpful to educate teens on the problems that can arise with teens being together unsupervised (sex, drugs, peer pressure, bullying, etc) and how they should handle it. I feel like if you don’t trust the teens from the get go you can never build that trust. Personally I don’t see an issue with two teens watching tv on a couch alone as long as someone pops in to check on them randomly.
And because you don’t know that these teens weren’t checked on often, you only know that they were allowed to be in a basement alone at least some of the time I probably wouldn’t call and flip out on the kids mom. If someone’s mom called me flipping out I would tell my teenager that it might be better to find someone else to hang out with Because their mom is acting a little crazy.
And as far as supervising I like my daughter to have people come to our house so that I know they are supervised, that they are in a safe environment, will have food, no drugs or alcohol, etc
Yes you are over reacting to your son. But I would be p***** off that the parents lied to me also
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Ya know, I love to read the comments… because then I can just say to myself “Yeah! I woulda said that!”…thus relieving me of the obligation to “tell 'em how to do it right!” LOL!
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If they’re going to do stuff, they will always find a way. My husband and I have an almost 15 year old and this year has been the same year for us. We allow her to go and they can come. That way we see and get to know somewhat the person our daughter is talking to. Literally lost my virginity at 14 on a baseball field on Halloween night. So if they’re gonna do it , they’ll do it. Me and my husband also both have trauma. And we go overboard with some stuff but we are trying not to push her out the door any sooner
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I get why you are upset but you need to give him some space. You also need to trust him and not overreact to situations or he will stop talking to you altogether.
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Not over reacting at all… A lot of things can be prevented by sticking to what they were supposed to do!
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You act like he’s your boyfriend. He’s allowed to have time with his girlfriend.
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Yikes. Way to push your kid to be sneaky. Your wrong and shouldn’t be stopping him from seeing her. If you trust him it shouldn’t be a problem. Obviously you don’t and he sees it.
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Honestly I wasn’t allowed to do a damn thing and it just made me rebel and sneak around. Your son is going to have a girlfriend and they need to get to know each-other. Yes its wrong the mom lied but let the girl come to your house
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Your being way to over protective lol. Give the boy a little freedom. If you trust him show him…
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I’m not saying your wrong cause can’t no one say how one parent should or shouldn’t parent.But this does sound in my opinion like helicopter mom. Just hovering. Last thing you want is a child who rebels because they feel so trapped .I was a very militant mom and I didn’t even go this far. But what right in your household no one can tell you your wrong they can just give you opinions. My mom was like this I was rebellious dropped out of high school 9th grade ran with gangs. Because she was suffocating me with the rules. Have a little more faith in your son he won’t put himself in compromising situations. You raised him didn’t you? So you know he knows how to do the right thing follow the right path
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The fact majority think it’s ok this 14 year old boy could be having sex and it’s just no big deal 
You’re being a bit much I think. I understand wanting to keep him safe, but he’s 14. He’s going to do what he wants anyways, it’s better to have an open relationship with him and talk to him about safe sex and the potential consequences. If you’re always giving him trouble, he’s just going to begin lying to avoid it.
I agree that her parent lying would be disheartening, but I truly think you’re going about this all the wrong way and your son will stop being honest with you if it continues
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Though I understand your parenting method here (raised by an overbearing mother, with the same rules perhaps worse) you gotta lighten up a little. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. My now husband and I did things in so many ridiculous places in highschool because my mom was so strict about leaving us alone. You should give him a little room to breathe. Not saying let him do WHATEVER he wants but that kind of hawk watching leads to rebelling later on.
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Yes. She’s wrong for lying, every mother deserves someone to be upfront regarding their children and she would be equally and rightfully angry if it were her. HOWEVER, if you want to continue a relationship with your son, you may want to loosen those reins just a bit. Let him learn who is really is and grow that person. You need to trust that you’ve raised him with morals and values.
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No you are not overreacting. I personally can’t stand it when people lie to me. I wouldn’t trust her parents after this. I think you should definitely call them but don’t get mad or anything. Just tell them hey my son said you left them alone in the basement and you assured me this wouldn’t happen. After this incident I don’t feel comfortable letting my son go to your house if my rules are not going to be respected. Now with that being said I agree with other people saying they will sneak around. If you want to enforce your rules you will have to let them hang out at your house. How you parent your kids is your business and you don’t have to explain or apologize for anything.
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aaaaand this is how you create kids that hate you as adults. Seriously. This was my life.
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I started going to friends houses at 14 with no parents around. We never did anything sexual till we were 16. It’s called trusting your son!
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You’re going to make your kid act out/rebel. Before you know it he’ll be lying to you and trying to figure out ways to do it. If you don’t loosen up that leash you will have problems. I’ve watched it happen tons of times. Instead of controlling him why don’t you try explaining and educating him on things. - from someone who’s seen this strict structure ruin people.
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If you’re that worried, then don’t let him have a girlfriend.
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U are over reacting big time they were in the same home adults were there they didn’t leave the home U dnt show ur kids some respect Nd trust U won’t get it U only going to have him lie Nd sneak around
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You have every right to be upset she ends up.pregnant then what or she accuses him of being inappropriate umm no it’s okay for them to hang out but yes needs to be supervised
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If you continue to be so strict on him, he is going to leave the first chance he gets and never want to come back. My parents were super strict, all it did was make us sneaky and push us away. The other parent shouldn’t have lied, but don’t punish the kids for it. Just let them come to your house instead so you can watch him. At the same time, you need to lighten up. As soon as I had the chance I left my parents house and we have had a rocky relationship since.
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Honestly, I agree an disagree. The more strict you are the easier it will be for him to do things you said no to. But the whole being alone with a girl at that age an her saying he did something is a high possibility in todays society. So I do understand you on that aspect. But being overbearing is going to make him do all the wrong things
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I would honestly say for now on she can come to your house so you can supervise them there that way you know they are being watched
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And this is how you create “mommy issues” he’s 14 let him live
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When I was young,my parents were strict about this as well . I was the only one of my friends who didn’t get pregnant in high school.By the time I was sexually active, I was mature enough to practice safe sex.I would be upset too.Noone wants their son to be a teen dad.I’d say co it on the girlfriend til he’s older,then teach him about safe sex in case he sneaks one by you.
I think you have a right to be mad , because she blatantly lied to you , however like everyone else has said , if there’s a will there’s a way they are teens and will do whatever they want if they can . Being that over protective will just teach him to be really good at sneaking and doing things
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You’re crazy girl. Prepare yourself for a child who sneaks around and lies because that’s what you’re making.
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It doesn’t matter how strict or non strict parents are kids need to respect their parents and Adults regardless and learn to follow rules no matter what they are . And you rebell that’s a choice your choosing not to follow rules it has nothing to do with how they are raised they have brains of there own. It has to do with being ungrateful for whoever raised them it shows disrespect rules are set for a reason to protect them every one’s parenting style is different meanings different rules everyone situation is different. Kids better learn to respect adults and authoritative figure if they won’t follow the rules than that’s how they end up in prison or with the wrong crowd . They still have to follow rules as adults and those are laws that if you break you get arrested or have to pay for. Better they learn from parents and not be so stubborn and hardheaded. Or learn from a higher up authoritative figure like a judge in a courtroom
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Keep being a responsible mom.
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Lillian Parker your comment was so dumb lmfao 
yes she’s being a bit over protective but does not sound at all what your perverted mind is making it out to be 
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I’d be upset she lied, but everyone else has said the rest and I COMPLETELY agree with them. You should calm down and let the boy live life they are 14 and you’d rather him come to you then sneak around.
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One of your first statements threw me off from the get go. “My son has a (quote girlfriend)”. 14 or not, this is such an important age for them to find themselves, set boundaries, and learn how to establish healthy relationships. Not to mention, like it or not, their only concern at this age will probably be friends. I have a 13 year old daughter. I allow her to make decisions, but I also talk to her about consequences. It’s all about growing and learning. I grew up with a mother that chose who I hung out with. That led to me going behind her back because I knew the answer would always be no. As for the mom lying to you, I’d probably make it known that I’m aware she lied to me and maybe voice your concerns to her. Having a teenager in the house is new territory. You kind of have to adapt and base your parenting style on their behaviors and personalities.
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I’d take it as a good sign that HE was honest with you.
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I can see your point to a certain degree but you are over the top he is 14 years old. I guarantee him and a girl go out in the hallway at school together to work on projects and the teachers have no qualms. At some point you got to trust your kids they’re going to do it whether they want to or not. Good Lord two eighth graders just got caught having sex in the bathroom and my daughter’s school. You need to chill out you’re raising so much attention and making such a big deal out of it. My daughter is 16 I trust her I don’t need to be on top of her or supervising everything she does. I bet those other parents trust their daughter too. This is how teams get pregnant because they have overbearing parents so they got a quick precautions and they’re doing it here there and everywhere. Cut the cords
I’m married to my boyfriend I had when I was 14 and let me tell you if you keep being this strict they will start sneaking around.
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My parents we very over protective, and I ended up leaving home at 17. I would be careful. Your son may resent you one day. Yes you can be upset they lied. I get your fear. I have 2 sons but you cannot prevent them from living because youre afraid of the what ifs. Let him make his own decisions, and then discuss consequences if need be.
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The four parents need to meet and get on the same page before meeting with the teens all together. The adults need to lay out expectations, concerns, etc. Birth control and consequences must be discussed; don’t assume they’ve learned it in school. Abstinence-only programs are more common than parents realize. Everyone needs to grow up a bit and maintain open communication.
I understand your hesitation about leaving the kids alone, but they probably had more freedom to play with friends when they were younger, so clamping down now feels like moving backwards. You have 4 years to prepare him for college independence. Think about how to get from where you are now to there.
The lying is wrong, but so is not having any faith in your kid. I’d sneak around too if the rules are too strict.
Girl what? He’s 14!! Not 2. When I was 14 my parents let my boyfriend stay the night on the couch, and I grew up in a very Christian family. Now before you say anything, I am now 32 and married to that man with 3 kids. I was engaged at 16. No, it’s not typical but you need to loosen the chain a little bit.
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I’m frankly surprised he was honest with you…that’s huge deal for a 14 yo, I would give him more credit.
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If you want that much control over them, you should open your home to them hanging out.
I will say though, you’re being a control freak and driving these kids TO lie to you.
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You are doing the most. You are to over-bearing and he’s gonna end up running away and hating you. Get a life of your own hunny
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You need to ease up a bit. Talk to your son about your fears and trust that with you guiding him open and honestly he will be ok. You can’t shield them from everything but rather teach them 
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Helicopter…… your poor Son. No space at all. No trust at all. So sad.
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They’re going to be alone with each other whether you hover or not. Now next time you won’t know about it since you overreacted the first time
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You are making your son believe you don’t trust him. You need to calm down and sit your son down and explain your concerns. Don’t just stop everything he enjoys. He could have lied about the T.V situation.
If you continue to act this way they will sneak around. Trust your son!
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I feel so bad for your kid! He can’t live his life without having you breathing down his neck at every turn. You keep this control freak crap going and I promise you when your son gets old enough he’s not going to want anything to do with you. They were watching tv together it’s not like they were tattooing eachother while plotting world domination. Lady give your head a shake. If that’s what your kid has to deal with from you I feel bad for your husband.
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I know your doing what’s best but he has to go through it on his own now your best bet is to be super open and honest and just talk to him get on a level with him
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You are going to push your son away and he will begin sneaking around. You need to open lines of communication between you and your son so he will talk to you. Loosen up and let him be a kid.
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You gotta teach your kids give them the birds and bees talk get the girls birth control and teach them about diseases and how to prevent them and things like that and then trust them to do the right thing. They will sneak out and do things behind your back
It sucks. As a mother to boys I want to do all I can to protect them. I never want my them to be in a situation where they are alone and can have people let out accusations about them . I would stand your ground.
At the same time don’t be crazy strict. Still let her come to your house supervised but I wouldn’t let him go there. The parents broke that trust
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So instead of being real and honest with you child you’re trying to completely shelter him? You could give him tools for success, but instead you’re making it to where he isn’t going to trust or confide in you. In 4 short years you aren’t going to have a say in the matter anyways. You better HOPE he just happens to be responsible and uses condoms and is well educated on sti’s. I honestly don’t know where he would get that information if not from you. The US sex educational system is far from helpful. Talk to the mom if she calls and let her know you know she lied. Honestly I would offer to let them hang out at my house and see how that conversation goes.
They’re 14! They did things ! And will continue to do things! The parents however are disrespecting you that’s grounds for a chat!
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I read all the way to the end and her concern is much more than the 14 year olds doing something, it is more of protecting her son from accusations of inappropriate stuff. I understand because this is exactly what I told my 17 year old. Girls are conniving and crazy. Some parents are the same way and in this day and age, you cannot be to careful. If you don’t put yourself into a situation for an accusation then one can’t be made against you. I 100% would be upset with the parents. I would sit down with the parents. Also if your trust that there will be supervision in your own home, leave that open as an option. They are 14 and will find a way to see eachother and spend time together but at least under your roof you can supervise more.
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Cool down it’s really not that bad! Give him some space my god he’s 14 4 more years he will be a man!!!
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Wow… as soon as I was old enough I’d run from you and never look back… you need to chill out and loosen the leash you’ve got on him… I really hope you actually see these comments and don’t destroy your relationship with your son because you a control freak.
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Let him live a little. I understand that you are just protecting him. How ever he needs to see that you trust him until he gives a reason for you not to.
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Your being to strict you need to teach him about the birds n the bees…They will stink out n do it anyway. you was his age once
Why don’t you have your son and girlfriend at your place if you want them fully chaperoned
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If you were my parent I’d be doing some sneaky shit behind your back! That’s for damn shre
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Yeah I am with Jackie Smith too overprotective and he will resent you for it. I have a 25 year old son that had a room downstairs and always had his gf over and I had to trust that he was doing the right thing and guess what? He was, he would always tell me Mom I still have my V card in my pocket DONT worry:joy:
till he was 18 years old
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Omg 14 is too young to have a girlfriend in the first place.
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Your concerns are valid but at a certain point you’ve got to ease up a bit. Overbearing parents only leads to sneaky, lying kids. I know from experience. At 14 I wasn’t “allowed” to do hardly anything. So I ended up lying about where I was, who I was with, and what we were doing pretty much constantly and doing… whatever I wanted.
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I understand your concern. Anyone of any age given the right circumstances can be tempted and do the wrong thing. How far you go in making right behavior happen, I don’t know. Possibly for your son to understand the consequences of his behavior. It seems to me the girls mother is asking for trouble and then that will be your trouble.
Let the kid live a little
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Your son didn’t listen to you either I think you’re missing that point. When that happened your son should have said something.
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Strict parents create sneaky kids, just saying.
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You need to relax. Your son will start doing things without asking if you don’t chilllllll
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Bottom line is he is your son so your rules BUT in my opinion it is a HUGE over reaction!! Trust him til he gives you a reason not too. He is 14 not a baby he doesn’t need constant supervision unless he has proven he needs it. The parents were home just not in the same room at least they were there. Over reacting like this will completely push him away, he may lie, sneak around etc. You may make things worse. Talk to him & have an open relationship with him where you can discuss things & he can ask you questions (even if you don’t like the topic) He is growing up & the cord needs to be stretched a bit or you may lose him! Let him have fun with his friends/girlfriends & good luck!!!
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I would be fuming mainly as she told you one thing but done another knowing full well how you felt on the situation, that is disrespectful as he isn’t her child so she should respect your rules, her house or not.
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It’s just the start of the lies, but unfortunately, the more you try to control the situation, the more they’re going to push for what they want.
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You are too controlling , you are going to push him far away with your behaviour
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Holy shit - glad your not my mother. Is his girlfriend amber heard? 
Relax lady…tell your son your concerns, that females sometimes manipulate. The end.
You need to chill out. 
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Your being entirely to over protective…especially if like you said you trust your own child.
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You can’t trust her parents, you can’t trust her, and you can’t trust your son. They have all withheld truths at some point or did something that goes against your beliefs
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Um lol you are gonna cause an explosion hunny lol
Take it from experience… don’t be that mom… please don’t. YOUR CHILD will run and will hide and you won’t get to know anything at all. He’s a teenager and getting older. Sounds like you have NO trust what so ever in your child. Even though he told you every last thing he did there … which ( he really didn’t have too!!!) Those parents probably think the same exact thing. You are a bit too much. Only way to get passed the crazy was to tell u what u wanted to here. It’s not thiwr fault you treat your 14 year old like he’s 5 and need supervised while he eats 
keep going like that and you won’t just have people hating u , you will end up with your son running off and not telling u where he’s going at all to AVOID THE CRAZY…
teach him!!! Teach him!!! Teach him right from wrong … and about SEX and to be safe and that no matter what he can always come to you if he has a problem … do NOT PUSH HIM AWAY OR YELL AND FORCE… IT WILL BACK FIRE… BE A GOOD MOM NOT A CRAZY ONE. RANT OVER
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Wow your over protective chill out mom
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And no you don’t need to “chill out”. 14 year olds who like each other never need to be alone. Period. That’s an 8th or 9th grader and they don’t understand their hormones or bodies. Until they do, Anything that they’re doing together can be done with adults around
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Girl where his daddy at? Cause you gone push your son away with that controlling behavior daggg let him breath
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Too overbearing! Geez ease up, let the kid live a little!!
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Yes you do and he would no longer have a lil gf
Good God and I thought my mom was bad she even let me have my bf stay the night one time he slept in my bed and her and I slept in a spare bed side note my mom is a super light sleeper I’d have woken her up if I tried to sneak out to do anything that was at 15. My mom let my now ex husband spend the night multiple nights doing the same thing when I was 17. My mom at the time anyways was in my opinion pretty strict esp when it came to boys but even she let me have small amounts of freedom. You say you have trust in your child but it doesn’t sound like it you also clearly have trust issues with other people. No she shouldn’t have lied to you but maybe calm down a bit and let the girl come to your place so you can supervise and it be the way you want.
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She said he can’t go there she can’t go to his house so what happens people lie. Be a little open minded. They are already bf and gf. I would supervise at my home. They are young but it’s common now.
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Helicopter mom much? At 14 years old I was staying at friends house for three months without even asking my mom, geez get a life and let him live his!
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You need to lighten up lady!! Good grief!! The more you run your kid’s life like a prison camp, the more he’s going to want to rebell! I get wanting to be protective, but you take Helicopter-parenting to a whole new level!! It’s bordering on paranoia!! There are plenty of ways to be adequately protective and cautious without smothering the poor kid! Let him live a little!
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You’re gonna have one sneaky kid if you keep being this way, he’ll learn his way around your crazy. Be someone he can trust not someone he has to hide everything from in fear of you screaming and causing a scene.
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Ur being to over protective! If you keep telling him no, the moment he has the chance he going to sneak out and do it anyway. That age you take up for your responsibilities. That way it will teach him that his acts has prices whether good or bad
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I would be livid. Don’t take it out on the kids, I’m sure they were excited for the opportunity. But next time she calls or insists, stand your ground. You don’t want adults influencing your child that way. Specifically going against your wishes. From now on I would make sure your house is the hang out spot. I agree with you, it would be his word against hers if something did happen. It’s a ugly world out there.
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Why not teach son about birth control and make sure he has condoms. They’re gonna have sex if they haven’t already
You can’t live in fear of bad people or him growing up. Whether supervised or not she can lie.
You need to loosen the reigns and let him live a little. He’s going to start despising you if you keep breathing down his neck.
Trust him. Provide him with knowledge.
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Honestly, in this day and age, her concern about the lying and implicating him is a real concern. Also, just because other parents don’t agree with her rules does not mean they get to undermine them. It is her son her rules
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Yikes mom, might be time to loosen the grip alittle bit.
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