You have every right to feel that way…my husband is the same with my older 3 kids that arent his…I do everything for my stepdaughter…she lives 3 hours away and I also do most of the planning when we get her right down to talking to her mom about what days we will have her…he has never done that for my kids
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I’d be packing myself and my children. It won’t get any better as they get older. Makes you wonder why his other relationships failed
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Uh. He wouldn’t be my husband. Your son does not have a father. He is his FATHER. Whether it be step or blood. When he got with you he took on the responsibility of your son. If he isn’t okay with it then I would leave.
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Whether or not the child’s father is in the picture or not, he should treat your kids as his own. There should be no MY son it should be OUR son. Guarantee your son is feeling the difference. It almost makes you wonder how he treats him when you’re not around. AND on top of that, just because you’re a stay at home doesn’t mean you should have to ask for anything. The finances should be one when it’s comes to bills and what children need. When it comes to extras those should be discussed like adults do to see if it’s in the budget not just for permission. You should be all kinds of mad at the whole situation. Honestly I’m still wrapping my head around you even asking to get clothes for your kid…this man. I’d probably be trying to leave but at the very least I think y’all need some counseling, especially him and if he wasn’t willing I’d probably be making my plan to leave.
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When you date someone, their kids are apart of the package and your partner should treat your kids as if they were his own especially since you have children together as well. My sons dad and I have one child together and each have a child from a previous relationship. My sons dad has always helped out with my daughter and so has his family in more ways then one. And I’ve helped out with his other son. That’s how it should be. And it isn’t only about money, it’s also about being involved in your partners children’s lives too. I’d definitely talk to him about it because that’s not right
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That is messed up. He obviously agreed that you would be a stay at home mom, and with that you deserve equal rights to cash. Or that’s his way of controlling you. He is EXPECTED to help financially with all the kids since he chose to be the only one working.
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He married you that’s his kid too I wouldn’t be with someone that doesn’t treat my kid as his kid def talk to him and explain that’s not okay and if he doesn’t change then I would move on
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OH WAIT!!! HE MARRIED YOU AND YOUR KIDS!!! He’s so wrong for that!! When you start a blended family it is all or nothing!! Time to sit him down and talk to him! You should be mad and upset. There is no reason to lie to you either. If he’s lying about that what else is he lying about?? From a blended family mom!!
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You are NOT wrong. I’m so sorry to hear this. I’ve been in your situation. When we marry men, have children with them and try to blend our other children it’s a huge challenge. That stunt he pulled is not okay. He should take care of your children, his children and the kids you have together, showing them love, attention and affection EQUALLY regardless of blood relation. Thats what a grown up responsible MAN does. Any man that does otherwise is not a good human being. Our children grow into adults and I can tell you they remember things… If he continues to pull the “I’ll take care of mine and you take care of yours,” you need to get in to a good counselor right away because otherwise you are headed for the rocks. This kind of behavior does not get better on its own. It gets much worse. There are way too many moving parts- not to mention the influence of his EX!
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Well I’d be telling him you’re no longer watching or cleaning up after his kids, they aren’t your responsibility. See how he likes things being fair.
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Wow this is wrong he’s lying and hiding things. He doesn’t accept your son either. I’d get a divorce before it get worse.
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When he married you he took on the responsibility of all your kids and visa versa. If he doesn’t think of your kids as his then get out of that marriage! Its not fair to your children at all. He is wrong completely.
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Oh its just sad 
Children are innocent here…wether it be your biological, adopted whatever…its your responsibility to to provide and care. If his acting like a dick like that…try tell him to watch his own boys!!! How will he feel??? You are awesome taking care of his children…children won’t remember how much you spend on them but how you treat them with love and been there for them they will treasure you always.
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Yup.You have every right to feel upset.Maybe start updating your resume and walking away mama.I just hope your child doesn’t feel like he is being treated differently by him because that would suck 
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- He is wrong! All the kids should be treated the same! My husband treats my children exactly the same as he does his - none of them (or anyone else) can tell the difference. We are one family!
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No. His kids are your kids and yours are his. Thats what happens when u marry someone with kids. Your childs dad is MIA. He is the dad figure. It is his responsibility to provide for you and (your) both of your children now.
Yes definitely have every right to be upset. You need to talk to him when you are calm and explain exactly how you feel. If he still refuses to help with clothes for your child tell him you need to get a part time job in the evenings when he’s home to take care of the kids while you work.
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My husband and I took a step parenting class when we ran into these very same issues. If you married him, don’t end it. This is fixable, if you both want to fix it. Does he communicate well? Would he read a book or attend a class? Mixing family dynamics is incredibly difficult…but difficult does not mean impossible. Show all your children what marriage is about! Teach them what a partnership looks like! We can’t just walk away. I learned that when we mixed our families, we really rattled the kids the most. The baby is no longer the baby, the older may not be the oldest now. They all had their roles and then we expected them to just change for us. You would be very suprised what a class can teach you, things I never even thought of! Chin up, fight for it and make it worth the struggle!
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I think you’re realizing why he has children with different women…
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The fact that you felt you had to ask puzzles me. If you’re a stay at home Mother, it’s assumed you have financial access… maybe not. If you don’t, that’s financial abuse to YOU as well. This is insane. I don’t know the answer or what your dynamic is- but there is no way in damn hell
I would put up with that. I hope you can get a full time job so you can financially support yourself and walk tf out. To hell with that.
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Absolutely 100% he didn’t just marry you, he got a packaged deal.
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Was this discussed before marriage? These are things you need to know before. Yes, I would be upset especially since you help to take care of his
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He married the whole package he should step up
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So you aren’t allowed to leave the house because you’re a stay at home mom? This is weird. Sounds like he wants a housekeeper more than anything else. And if he treats your son like that now it’s only going to get worse. Stand up for yourself, go back to school or learn a trade, and then you can make your own money and have a much better life. You and your children deserve better! And you deserve a true partner.
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That is absolutely the crappiest thing I’ve ever heard . He married you , you and your kids are a package deal . If he isn’t man enough to help support your children while you do everything around the house and everything for him and his kids then he’s not a man at all !
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U have EVERY right to be upset. When he married u he gained another child. Especially since u don’t work & cannot provide for him financially. He is just wrong for this. Speak up & don’t allow it to continue. Kids are not stupid. They can pick up on someone treating them different. If it was me I’d tell him it changes or we leave. Ur child who never asked to be here should never feel less than by anyone & it’s ur job to make sure that doesn’t happen.
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He’s wrong, and not a real man might I add and you are right. End of story. Hope you find someone who treats you as you deserve to be treated.
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He is totally wrong when you marry someone they except your children as theirs my husband adopted mine and has one from a previous relationship and is an awesome father he treats them all the same and provides for all of them 5 boys total
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Sorry but after that comment his butt would be out the door.
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Girl you need a husband will will treat all equal sorry but tell him how it is and if he don’t like it find one who will !
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I would be absolutely disgusted with him. This would 100% be a deal breaker for me
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Blood or not that is still his son at the end of day. If he’s treating you son differently take it from someone who has a step brother who gets abused by my father for stupid little things… I would honestly leave if I were you. No one should ever treat a child like that. But yet my step mom treats me like I’m trash… and took my dad away from me. I’m 17 now and pregnant and have an awesome stepdad.
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Sorry but you need to throw away the whole man…
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I’d be packing & leaving…when he married u your son is his responsibility too…what a ***hole
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Do really have ask if this is wrong? You know it is, that’s why you’re questioning it.
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When you get in relationship your kids become theirs and theirs become yours! Children should be treated equal! Your 8 year old can probably tell that they are treated differently, the 5 year old might be a little to young to tell but the 8 year old definitely can!
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He would be my ex husband. If you’re willing to let a man treat your son like that, I feel bad for your son. He’s obviously in an abusive home
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I am so sorry for you. Blending a family can be difficult. I was very blessed. We both brought one child into the relationship, I tried to get some educational assistance from his father and he refused. My husband always said since I married you he is my son also. It’s not worth the aggravation of trying to get a father to do what they should want to do.
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YES!! If you choose to be with someone who has kids then you are making a decision to be with those kids as well!
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When you marry someone with children either side you treat them as your own no matter what or u dont marry that person you should be pissed an very hurt stop doing everything an get a part time job to surport yours!
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Salvador Garcia thank you for never putting me through things like this just cuz James isn’t yours. It’s so sad to hear that things like this happen. Even though I’ve seen it obviously with my dad and Vanessa too. It just sucks. I could never understand why
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That’s wrong AF! Why get married to you if he can’t love and care for your kids too? You obvsly come with them! I’d immediately bring it up with him
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When he married you he knew you were a packaged deal … girl you know the answer to your question he should treat your children just as he does his own just as you do for his … those kids are his family now so yes he most definitely should help take care of them he knew what he was Comming into
Taln to him how it makes u feel, and possibly makes your children feel… if he doesn’t understand…Leave his ass! My kids are my priority, not a man. If he wants to treat your children different. Then your children don’t need him, nor you. Let him take care of his own kids. U can make it trust me! I have 4 boys, and I made it alone, and met a wonderful man that accepted me with my children. He took them as his. He buys them everything, and the home we have is because of him. Not to mention he has his own kid, which I love like he was mine. You don’t need him.
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As a mom who came into a marriage with 3 boys that are not my current husbands uhh yea I would be pissed! There have been multiple times when I have been stay at home mom during our nearly 10 years together and he has always provided whatever is needed to ALL of our children! That’s how it should be
You are not wrong at all! You are a package deal! The kids came with you! And if he can’t treat them as his own I personally wouldn’t be with him. Even though you are a stay at home mom that’s a full time job! I guess making sure he eats and has clean clothes isn’t your responsibility either since he has 2 hands to do that for himself and your to busy with the kids and making sure their needs are met!
Sorry but this is just wrong. You are married & should be fair amongst all the kids. If he spent all that money & gave her that extra money does that mean he dont pay child support?? I would have a talk with & say if all the need to be treated equal considering I am taking care of house & kids. If not then then his kids would nt be there all the time tell her to put them in daycare.
Absolutely not you have every right maybe give him a bill for everything you do for his kids. Just makes sure you don’t hold it against his kid’s it’s not their fault. Same equal love for everyone in a blended family.
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Ask him if he would rather pay alimony and support or put out a measly amount of money for school clothes. Ask him if he’d rather pay a babysitter to watch his other offspring. Then before he even answers, punch him in his little bird chest and tell him that’s what being let down feels like.
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Sit down and address it NOW. Seriously I grew up my half brother was treated exponentially better because he was my stepdad’s kid, and my mom never said anything, it really messed with my head as a kid and really strained my relationship with my mother as I got older. Your son will notice if you let it continue.
He needs to be reminded what a family is. The next time his kids are there. Let them fend for themselves. If he questions you. Remind him that they are NOT your responsibility.
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Seems like he needs to grow up. You are not a slave or servant. He needs to step up and realise that when he married you he agreed to take on your kids. My other half and I ( we don’t live together) and not married however he has a son who is 17 and my son is 5. When we first got together nearly 5yrs ago we agreed that the boys came first in everything. 5yrs on and there is nothing we wouldn’t do for each others boys. I am mum to his son in all but name and he is a dad to mine in all but name. Christmas and birthdays ( Easter included ) we try and spend the same on both of them or as close to it as we can. Neither his sons mum nor my sons father are in the picture and both are waste of space but neither boys want for anything. They are both loved and provided for.
Absolutely!! My husband has a son from a previous relationship and I treat him just like he is my own because when you marry someone with kids that is how it works. I love him and treat him just like the son that we have together.
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Thats BS. My husband and I each have 1 kid. We treat both kids equally. You have every right to kick him to the curb. Why is he even giving the kids mom money? Just because…? Unless its child support or concerning the kids he shouldn’t have contact with her. That would make me so uncomfortable
That’s just awful! If you are married, he should not be the only one to decide where the money gets spent. You’re working hard to support him and take care of the household/childcare so that he can be out earning that money in the first place. If he can’t support your other children, he should be compensating you for childcare expense for his two kids (the ones he had with you, I mean) and you can use that to support your other children. But honestly, unless he can see the error of his ways in this situation, I’d start to make moves to to move on, if possible. I know it will probably be incredibly hard, but this does not sound like a good relationship if he’s treating you and your kids this way. You’re kids will def pick up on his attitude towards them, if they haven’t already. So sorry you are going through this.
You are not wrong! You and your kids came as a package and he knew that the day he married you same with him and his kids. When it comes 2 his ex try not to get involved as you will end up.looking bad! As long as you have what you need for all your kids. If he doesn’t want to take responsibility for your children then have a serious think if it were me I would b packing our bags and leaving him! And never looking back!
Sad to say he didn’t sound like a kind hearted man
When he decided to get involved with you he knew you were a package deal
Sorry I too have a blended family and at times it can be tricky. But the lying that’s a game changer for me
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That is not good. My husband treats my kids like his own, because once you are together those are HIS kids too. My husband didn’t want my kids to call him dad at first, now regrets it, since they don’t call him dad now
Absolutely not wrong to be upset. That’s a deal breaker. Your children became his responsibility when he married you. Legal responsibility. I’d expect equal treatment and nothing less. Kids notice these things too. Absolutely unacceptable.
It would be one thing if your son’s father were in the picture. I would stop taking care of his kids messes. Still feed them and provide basic needs for survival but nothing else. And when he says something to you say “they’re not my kids” he’ll be singing a different tune after that.
You have every right to feel the way you do. He knew the responsibilities when he married you. He took the roll as your son’s father and is responsible for his upbringing.
I’d be planning to leave asap for my children’s sake. He’s not helping you now, he probably won’t help you later. But he’s expecting you to practically be a free stay at home nanny? Nah. Boy, bye.
I’m not married I’m in a serious relationship but my partner willingly takes care of my kids. I have 2 from previous relationships and he has one then we have one of our own too whenever he is asked how many kids he has his answer is always 4 he includes my kids in everything. I don’t understand how ur husband would exclude ur child u have every right to be upset and if i were u I’d move out of the house who knows what he would do to ur kids?
I’d be mad. My husband and I have been together for over 6 years my oldest calls his dad, he treats the children we have together no differently than my oldest just like I don’t treat my step daughter any different. We’d both bend over backwards for any of the kids if they needed it. And have.
Be honest with him how much it hurts you . You have every right to feel mad he lies to you and continue to hurt you and your kids. As they get older they will notice and question little things don’t wait stand up for your kids till he finally gets it
He’s dead wrong. End of story. No need to feel like you are wrong for feeling mistreated. When he mistreated your child he mistreated you. Get you some income. When his kids come over you treat them as if they were yours so he should treat your child the same.
He knew you were a package deal i would have a serious problem with him especially if that how you feel i would find babysitters for mine an you paying half an get a job so that wouldnt be a issue i wouldnt treat the kids any different because its not their fault but this could be a deal breaker for me because that would make me feel some type of way that you treat yours different we are a blended family
He is definitely in the wrong how can he say something like that that’s his step child it’s different when your not married but he should wanna love that kid just like you love his children 
People say stupid things when they are stressed out. 6 kids under age 10 is a lot of expenses. Was he right to say those things. No. Is divorce more expensive. Yes. If I were in your shoes I would find a way to part time chip in to family expenses and be very frank about healthy blended family dynamics
Seems like he’s still into his ex & since he’s lying about her & other things its time to go…You think you love him but does he love you, if he does he wouldn’t hurt your son whom you love so much bc
HE APART of YOU.In
A relationship. LOVE
IS NOT ENOUGH
The day he married you is the day he became the father of your kids, you have the right to be upset or even get mad, being a stay home mom with all the chores and no rest is so stressful! The least help he could do is to be good 
Definitely bring up would it be fair for you to not feed his kids that are your bonus children?
If he still will pick his biological children over yours, then it’s time to walk. Kids pick up on that crap and it’s emotional abuse imo
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I will never understand those who allow such. You are your child’s advocate you should have stopped him the moment he went there. The fact that he said it to you tells the whole story. All I ask is think about the damage being done to your older child. Set your priorities in order then decide whats most important your fighting for your fatherless child or keeping the family together for the younger ones.
I’d be furious! I’d tell him of he expects you to act like his kids are your own then he better start thinking of your son as his own or there will be some major changes around the home…mainly him taking care of his own kids at home without your help, that includes feeding, bathing, watching them or finding a sitter.
Simple answer is yes! You have every right to be upset. When you make the decision to marry someone, their children DO become your children and your responsibility. That should be a 100% deal breaker that he really feels like it’s not his responsibility.
Start cooking for you and your kids…start only washing your.kids clothes only…start going on walks or doing actives and not include his kids…he would feel some sort of way too…but it’s not right to punish the kids…get…out…now
My heart breaks for you. He is a mean irresponsible man to say that to you; especially since you don’t work. Be sure to check with your boys and make sure he isn’t mean to them when you’re not around.
Maybe stop doing what your doing for his kids and just concentrate on your own babe,i no it’s petty but he might realise whats he has done to your son by saying that,your poor boy give him a big hug from me xx
You have 2 babies together. You need to stand up now and let him know how you feel. Let him know that your doing for your kids what he does for his. If he can’t he has to spend less on his then and no money to the mom for clothes. Don’t be a door mat. If you stand up he ll do for yours too.
I would tell him u will take care of your kids the others would be his responsibility the watching cooking cleaning up after and buying them all they need would also be his responsibility for his and his with u then see if he could spend the same on all if not you’ll know he only keeps u around for a babysitter for all of them and a maid and all the other things u do for all of them including him sure he might take care of the bills and things like that but let him see how it would be to do all the stuff u do plus all that on top of what he has to do by himself for all of his and then when he’s taking care of all of them while u spend your time with the one who’s not his see if by then he can afford to take care of your as well if not take all of yours away and make him pay support for u and his kids with u
I would tell him to kick rocks and I wouldn’t do another thing for his and let him see how it is. And I mean absolutely nothing! If he has something to do he better take them or find a babysitter
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Couple of issues here. Why is he lying? What adult treats kids differently? They’re kids. Shame on him.
What if you told him his kids are not your responsibility? Have him hire a baby sitter. See how he likes it.
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Yup you could say no too watch them, clean up after them… for god sake they are big enough to clear the dishes… look for a job to say your statement and let him help around the house!
I’m not sure treating the kids that different and picking and choosing which way to treat each kids is the best option. That’s a problem, and you being treated a certain way because you are a stay at home mom is ridiculous too
How did he treat him BEFORE u got married? Sorry your going thru this. This type of betrayal hurts the most when it comes to your kids smh. His response is disgusting. He wouldn’t get nooo 
or food. Your a grown man, your not my responsibility. I’ll tell u how, start saving money. This might not last. N he’d def be the type to watch u suffer. I hate to make rash judgements but I’ve seen this before. Danielle not b tolerated or taken lightly
Wow. I feel for you mama. I would be sad. If you stay at home it is community income. So, I woukd think he would like to help your son. Especially since you prob claim him as a dependent?! Thats upsetting. Talk to him about it.
You have every right to be pissed off he shouldn’t play favorites it makes kids resentful towards people he shouldn’t expect you to do everything for his kids but no share the same respect and help you out
what kind of man did you marry? jeez.
I read this to my husband who raised my daughter as his own. He shook his head. i tried to imagine him saying something like this. I cant.
Id quit staying home and find a job, you might need to afford an attorney down the road. When it hits you that you married a man who is capable of thinking like this.
Im sorry😞I wish you the best…
Four kids, two different mothers? Kind of says something about him. From what you are telling us that he is doing in only the past 4 years, doesng look good. Sorry!!!
My husband was same he did extra for his daughter but nothing for our biological children so I quit doing for his daughter period
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Uummm yeah. When you marry someone with kids you marry the kids too. If you can’t accept and help support them, move on. What if you weren’t a sahm? Would you feel comfortable leaving your kids with him and trust that he will take care of them? Would he make them feed and care for themselves? Pretty sure some counseling is needed here, marriage or personal. If he can’t handle your whole package you need to find a better, safer place for you and yours.
He is in the wrong. With a 5 and 8 year arent they both in school? Is he only treating one or both ur kids different. Sound like he also has a kid that is 8 are they the same sex or no? If he buys something for his kids he should also buy something for your you both have kids with other people. 4 kids. 2 with him 2 with another man or men. He needs to realize that him being the only working he needs to help with your kids too just like you do his you dont have to watch his kids
If she makes 6000k a month why can’t she afford school clothes?
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You really just asked for clarification as to whether or not you have a right to be “upset” with this man after he openly denied any depth of acception, association, or responsibility to your own flesh and blood that you birthed? I’m curious as to what would make someone unsure of whether or not they have a right to be upset in a situation like this…
The details of the story are irrelevant. Case and point? You can’t love me and have any sort of disassociation with MY child whatsoever. I’m sorry you’re already married to him honestly. He could’ve NEVER been my husband.
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Hes wrong he married you along with your children thank God I don’t have that problem my husband won’t hesitate to buy anything my 2 oldest need (they are not his kids) and I wouldn’t hesitate being there for his kids either
Would be my husband… I have two kids from a previous their father not in the picture never has been they were super young when my husband and I met and one day just started callin him daddy and got mad when I corrected them now they are 6 and 7 and they know no other as daddy except my husband he goes above and beyond for them and he also has a child from a previous but she’s one of “those” he’s moved on and married so hell can’t see his kid but ima drain him of every dime I can get out of him
Can’t repeat what I would have told him. I’ll get kicked off FB again. Why is he giving x extra $ and not you. He’s using you as the house maid, when you should come first as his wife. Your son deserves equal respect.
You have every right to be upset! If he ain’t going to treat your child right, send him out!
I wouldn’t take care of his kids or cook for them when they ate over go out with your kids and leave him with his…and when he questions you tell him his kids arent your responsibility becauseyour married…he will wake up right quick and if he doesn’t leave. But before you leave take his bank card and pull out half because your his wife…not his ex
Firstly you can’t be mad at him for spending money on his children and giving xtra money to his children mother no matter how much she earns. Yes, he is selfish, BUT you can’t expect or force him to provide for your children from your previous marriage if he doesnt want to either, its not his responsibility. Only thing for you to do is to get your own job and earn your own money. Earning your own money gives your more freedom and power over your own life. Dont see much of a future thor this marriage either.