When we got together I had 1 son, he had 3 kids, I made it clear if you get together with me is a package , I let him know you buy your kids the world I dont care, but don’t ever tell me no for mine,36 yrs later, he gets along with my kid that he raised then his, own, my opinion, sorry not sorry, they only have to tell me once, either stay in the relationship and continue what your going through, or leave or get a job, let him take care of his own kids.
This is a HUGE red flag and sadly, you are married to him. Whether he was there from birth or just hopped in as step dad, he is dad and should be taking care of them as he would his own son. My husband is step dad to 3 kids and he treats them just like they are his. We are about to have one together. He isn’t going to treat them differently. It’s not ok. They are part of his responsibility and if he isn’t going to step up, might be time for some serious counseling. This is unacceptable. Period.
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You have absolutely every right to be upset. My husband has all grown children and I have a 12 year old. We’ve been married for 2.5 years now and together 4 years. From the day I finally introduced them, he has always treated her as his own. He considers her his own and calls her our daughter. My ex is involved but not a very loving father. My daughter states she feels closer to her stepdad than her own dad. You’re husband is 100% wrong. 1st off he shouldnt lie to you! 2nd should never treat your children differently. That is beyond hurtful. Your children will end up resentful if this continues. I’ve been staying home for a year and my husband pays for my daughters clothes, shoes, activities, everything. Including putting her on his health insurance. Your husband needs a wake up call very fast! I’m so sorry your going through this and if you ever want to talk, please pm me
You pretty much answered your question …it’s all fair treatment or see ya. Sounds like you are being used when he has his kids so he doesn’t have to find alternative arrangements
5&8/7&8 should have same budgeted amount for clothing.
Maybe 5 year old a littles less if funds are tight because many 5 year olds dont care too much about clothing.
You are married. They are his kids now. Just like you care for your step children,he needs to care for his step children.
End of story. Non negotiable
I would also suggest both of you have court ordered and agreed upon child support with both bio parents. So things are clear cut.
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Ugh no that’s not okay at all. And I would not be with someone who said that my kid wasn’t their responsibility either. If your married you take on ALL of your kids together they are like your own at that point.
That’s not okay. 4 years huh? Hmmm. Yeah no… I think you need to rethink what your in because if you got married and have accepted each other’s children they’re part of the package and it is what it is you guys are a family as a whole. That’s just not right
Two way street your child is not his responsibility then his kids is not yours when he has something to do .he should be home with his children. Get a job working in evening when he is home. You need out of that relationship asap.
You are right.Dont put up with it.Sounds like he still loves her and will do anything for her.
This makes me so mad. I’m sorry. I’ve heard almost the same thing from my ex his response was I’m not their dad and I’m like duh but they have no one else. After 5yrs of the same bs I dumped him.
He’s a jerk! You are NOT wrong to be upset, angry, and sad. I personally couldn’t live with a man who shows a big difference in our children. Your son doesn’t deserve that
Get out and get out now,cut your loses now,your children always come before any man,Get a job put the younger ones in day care ,your older children can be in school or daycare when needed,cut all ties with him,( but for visits with the children you share,) Go for support and spousal support,Don’t let the boy live another way being treated like a low class nothing,please don’t say I can’t,I can’t afford it,there is a ton of help out there for single moms till you get on your feet
This would really be means for divorce for me. Your son is absolutely his responsibility with or without bio dad in the picture. I can’t believe he could say that. I don’t think I could ever speak to him again
Sounds like he is getting all the benefits of the marriage and you are there for his convenience. I know…just left the same exact setup in January. Get out!
I would be pissed. We have 8 total 7 from his before and 1 together and you dont even want to know how much of my paycheck went to his kids. I didn’t do for the kudos, i did it because we together which means that i chose to help with the kids. So yeah…no…he is not ok
Honestly If that’s how my husband was gonna treat my children there would be no more husband
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My father went above and beyond raising four step children and me I was his. Not to mention when he re married he took care of the others as well. A real man will step up not deny any child.
When ya’ll got together ya’ll had children it wasn’t a secret to him. When he married you he married all of you. Just as you did with him. Yes you have every reason to be upset. It’s a package deal all around. If didn’t want to be a father to the children he shouldn’t have married you and the kids.
If your son isn’t his responsibility, his aren’t yours. Start charging him for childcare.
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If u want him to view ur children as his, you should do tge same. You stated you only helped take of his kids when they were there bc u were expected to, you didn’t want to. Doesn’t sound very homey for the kids
My personal opinion is don’t marry someone with children. If you can’t treat and accept them as you would your own. It’s a package deal. Treat them as your own.if you can’t, then marry someone with no children.
Well his two kids shouldn’t be YOUR responsibilty. I would buy for OUR two kids and MY son and he can provide for his two kids.
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Get a job and tell him he has to pay daycare for the 2 kids u have together he will see which on is cheaper. And if it were me he would be buying the clothes or he could find someone to take care of his other kids since technically they are his responsibility
You are not wrong to be upset. Dont care for his kids anymore. Stop treating them the same. When he complains say they arent your kids so you dont need to do anything for them. He needs a reality check
My husband absolutely loves my kids. They’re grown now but he’ll still do anything he can for them. Time to either put your foot down or tail out the door.
This is so unbecoming of a husband that I don’t have advice!
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When he married you he married your kids! To take care of! Yes he needs to.
I’m going to say something about this if he married you then he took the kids to it’s not a one way street I would tell him if it’s not his responsibility then he can take care of his own kids but it’s suppose to be a team
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You definitely have a right to be upset I would be upset I’m being mad I’m being walking out on them too and let him keep his own kids charge him to babysit his other two kids cuz that just ain’t right
You definitely have EVERY reason to be upset. I would not be able to look past that. I would have to leave.
This is so sad. Run far away from this man he is not the right person for you he doesn’t want a partner he wants a babysitter and housekeeper
When he married you he married your son. So he is wrong he is just as much his responsibility as well. Ask him if he would like it if you treated his kids that way.
I’d be pissed honestly… my boyfriend of 8 years does not have kids of his own but my 2 from previous are absolutely his kids… we both work but yes hes the breadwinner in the house… anything my kids need he provides it without hesitation. Even if I still have money from my pay left to get things for the kids or myself he will still hand me cash or his card… he most definitely puts the kids above anything even though they arent biologically his. He loves them and treats them just as they were because he says they are his kids and always will be he has basically raised both of them as his own they were 2 & 4 when he came into our lives… there should be absolutely no difference in the way the kids are treated, if there is he’s got some issues 
My husband has no kids…and I have 2…He was a complete bachelor when we meet 8 years ago…I told him staight up you take all 3 of us or don’t waste my time (at the time my kids were 4 and 12) and he became a man and is a DAD to both he is there for everything.
Oh he is definitely wrong…if he thinks like that then he can care for his kids alone, get a pet job or leave with your kids when they are there. Oh hell noooooo
You should be upset i would of already told him if he can’t help you with your kids needs like you do his then you don’t or can’t help watch/clean up after his kids fair is fair and I’m sorry but what u allow is what will continue sahm or not he needs to do the right thing and be fair with you.
Wow he’s a piece of crap. You should have seen it before now dear. Sorry honey another bad choice stay single.
Nope…if you’re watching his children like your own and cleaning the house after everyone and he is acting this way there is a problem. Like said the money made is half yours equally
when you get married it is no longer his kids, my kids its our kids, if he wont treat yours the same as his, i’d be outta there, my hubby had 3, me 1 when we married, he actually adopted mine, i love his kids and he loves mine
That is extremely messed up. I am a stepmom to my husband’s daughter and I have a daughter as well. My step daughter’s mom is not really in the picture and I treat both girls equal. If one gets something the other one gets something. When you get married you take on that child out of your own. And like you said you don’t work but you work at taking care of the house so for him to expect you to do that, but not take care of your financial needs is sad. Your son should not be treated differently. And I would not stay in the marriage like that. That being said I also work and have always worked and we split half of all the bills. I could never depend on a man completely. You get a job and then make him pay child care and then you’ll have your own money to provide for your kids should you want to stay with him. And then let him take care of the other bills on his own and help clean the house and do all of that since you will be working. I would give him an ultimatum. Since he doesn’t want to provide for your kids then he can help with taking care of the house. You are not his maid or babysitter
That’s crazy, my boyfriends both have excepted my kids as their own. I would want who ever I was with to love my kids as I would love theirs
You don’t need to ask permission to buy clothes for your son. Buy them. The money is both of yours.
What he’s doing is financial abuse.
Didn’t you see how many kids he had. Those kids by law come before yours. Your ex is responsible for your children… he mislead you but you should have been the smarter one. I see this ending badly.(hope I’m wrong)
I’d be looking for a divorce attorney…that is just never ok…like never ever…
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Wow,I’m upset for u. My older son Isnt my husband’s but you wouldn’t be able to tell. He treats him like his own.
Since he wont pay for your son’s clothes, then get a job. But here’s the twist, let him figure out day care and stuff. I’ll just get up and go job hunting when hes home. Better yet, leave the mess his kids make for him to clean up when he gets home. When you know his kids are going to stay, go to your friends house or something, they’re his kids, let him deal with it. I can be petty too
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You have every right to be upset. When he chose you, he knew you were a package deal. AND more so because he lied to you. I am divorced from my husband and remarried. My wife and I share our combined 7 children. There is no mine and yours in our house. They are ours, our kids know that and our ex husbands know that.
I would most def be upset by that!! When you get married their kids become your kids… unfortunately not everyone does this and it’s sad especially since his dad isn’t in the picture he prob needs his attention that much more… 
im sorry that sucks
As a kid, I don’t know about this kind of stuff at all but what I do know is when you’re dating someone that has a child in their life then those people are a package deal, you choose one you get both. Kind of like a two for one deal or when you marry your partner and their family becomes yours and vice versa. If he takes care of you he also needs to take care of the people in your life and no, it’s not negotiable. If he doesn’t want that, either talk to him about it, get his head out of the trash or deadass leave (cause no offense to your partner) but nobody got time for that🤦♀️
That’s BS he sounds like a real pos. My hubby treats my older two exactly the same as our two together and that’s how it should be all the way around.
You’re not wrong !! Not at all !!! If I were you, seriously, I’d be gone !! Treat ALL the kids the same, or walk.
Id have a serious talk and try to work this out or id leave. Im 9 months with my bfs FIRST child and i have FIVE from before. He pays the bills and buys everything we ALL need and that was 500$ of clothes for them and we plan to get more with his next check. Christmas has also been bought by him. I havent worked since March. They are me. If they need something that’s his responsibility as I’m his responsibility.
YOUR kids ARE his responsibility just as HIS kids are YOUR responsibility. When you get into a relationship with someone who has kids,you are also getting into a parental relsthionship with those children. Thank goodness my husband has never been like this. Kick him to the curb hun,it will only get worse.
He needs to just love the kids. They are angels and all they need is a care and understanding. I hope you talk to him and tell him your concerns. Goodluck honey…
All im gonna say is when he took you as his wife you took his kids and he yours as your own. So therefore he should do equally for one as he would the other. No matter what his ex makes its the simple decency and right as YOUR husband now to take care of the kids he accepted when he accepted you and said i DO.
Hell no that’s 100% wrong. That’s 1 reason I’m not with my younger sons dad he treated my older son different after a while. It was difficult.
They are kids treat them the way you would want to be treated. They are innocent
Definitely a right to be upset. When he married u it was a package deal.
Charge him to babysit. Simple as that. You get to stay home and make money on his responsibility.
Nope. I’m out. Divorce. done. He knew about your other kids when he married you. They are just as much his responsibility as they are yours
Sorry…get a new husband that will love the whole package point blank when ya moved in together it was the whole package or nothing q mamon
Oh yes, you have every right to be mad. I would also pack my stuff up and stay somewhere for a while until he came to his senses if he ever did after that. That’s BS
I’m a little confused. Are you saying that he wouldn’t pay for the clothes, or he wouldn’t shop for them.?
So not ok, I would kick his ass to the curb. I’m a step mom and I always spend the same on each child no matter what.
Make a plan, pick up your things and your kids and leave!
If YOU notice a difference in how they’re treated, your son DEFINITELY a noticed the difference.
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My son and my husband don’t always see eye to eye but when it comes to back to school Christmas etc the kids get the same amount of $ or presents even his parents treat my son equal to our daughter
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You have every right to be upset. All kids should be treated the same.
You are not wrong, he is. They are all the 2 of yours ,treat them accordingly.
Been there. Don’t let anyone man make you choose between him and your children.it hurts babdly
What a douche I definitely wouldn’t be available to take care of his children then because they aren’t ur responsiblity
Run! Get out of it now!!! I have the same damn problem and 61/2 years later it’s still a problem and we are on the verge of divorce. Don’t waste any more time. It’s emotional abuse!
I’m sorry but I would no longer be with him when he married you he married your kids too
If he lied about things like clothes for kids or giving his ex money…what else is he lying about???
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No I would be upset ,you and your kids were a packaged deal he doesn’t get to exclude your kids .leave him
Kick his horrible fathering ass to the curb!!! That’s unbelievable! What kind of father is he displaying in many other ways, not so obvious! That’s heartbreaking 
If he can’t/won’t participate when his children by another mother are in your home, then no. His children by another mother are not your responsibility, those children are 100% his responsibilty when in your home. Tell him to stay home and raise his children while you go out and enjoy the day. It’s also a reality check for him. Time to be real.
All hell no! If he’s married to you then your kids even if not biological his are still his kids…I believe it’s a law look it up.
As women we are more often than not tested we must remember it is not about us when it comes to
Someone’s else’s kids because what if it was reversed keeping in mind that as individuals we dont also have to tolerate with disrespect abuse of situation etc it’s such a fine line
Yes because when he married you he was willing to take the responsibities of your kids
Pack up your kids and bounce. This jackhole doesn’t deserve you. Your kids and you deserve more respect
I’m confused u said u have 2 kids from a previous relationship yourself but then u keep only talking about your son? Should they be sons? Is one a girl and one a boy and he purchased clothes for thr girl? I’m confused
I would not stand for that. His money should be your money to do with as well as a collective. Not mine and his thats crazy
If he’s not going to treat your kids the same then get the hell out of there.
You have every right to be upset when you take care of his kids like you own and he treats your child like that is so wrong when he married you he married all of you .
There’s no way in the world I’d put up with that . He would straighten up or he would be put on his head
From the looks of things…and his track record…you won’t have to worry about it in a couple years as he will move on to another gullible victim
Well I’d add up
Nanny care as well as personal assistant, maid, and cook for 4 children and 1 adult then ask him if he wants to help with financial or pay someone else to do those jobs and you can find a job.
Divorce that’s all I have. I would divorce ANY man who treated my child that way. Heck he’s treating you with disrespect too by lying to you and Mia treating your son. When marrying you, he took on your children. You shouldn’t even have to ask him, this shouldnt even be a situation. You go to the store you buy all the kids clothes? I guess things like this rile me up. When me and my husband got married it was with the understanding that I would legally adopt his three kids that he brought with him. And I did. Their Bio mom walked out and I stepped up and went to court and got her rights terminated and legally adopted my 3 children. And to see this…
Kick his butt to the curb with that attitude. He knew when you got together you had children so he accepted the responsibility of them being his also!
You have every right to be upset children don’t understand things like that they just don’t know why they didn’t get the same thing.
Makes you wonder how he treats your son when your not around
How to solve that problem. Take your kids out and let him watch his own children at the most inconvenient of times
You have to ask your husband to help you buy clothes for your kid? Just go buy the clothes. I’ve never understood the “her money my money” marriage. It’s our money.
And you arent already packing your stuff?
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I wouldn’t tolarate it is be gone my kids mean the world to me
Get independent study online and get a job
You can’t do for his and he not do for yours. He either does for all or tell him to go and collect support from him.
So you should tell him the same thing and see how he likes it you tell him you have to take care of your kids not me
Ur a package deal. No child should be treated different in a blended home.
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he knew since the beginning about your son he’s wrong .
You must always put you kiddo first. If you let someone treat him bad, that’s on you. Remember he is YOURS…fight for him.