Well say bye Felicia, never let your children down regardless
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You choose your daughter. Thats what you do. I cant believe a woman is for real asking this.
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Your child ALWAYS comes first!!
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Has she always been this way? Or did it only start after your relationship started? Maybe he is causing the issue? Obviously he didnât mean what he said, when I DOâs were being swapped. Let him walk if he canât handle it
Choose your daughter.
Your child was not asked to be brought into this world. when you carried her for 9 months you decided to be a mother. you donât get to just kick your kid to the curb because your husband is being a whiny little pans. Iâm sorry if thatâs harsh, but itâs the truth. anyone who would put you in this position, should be out of yours and your daughters life. and if heâs saying he doesnât know if he wants to stay married, heâs already made up his mind, heâs just being a pans and not saying it. be better for your daughter.
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The compassion and empathy you feel for your husband should be focused on the child that is struggling. Heâs a grown man and if he canât handle it, let him walk. Imagine what kind of stress you might have to deal with unsupported in the future if you set this precedent. And your kids will never trust you again, and your spouse will know that youâll do anything to keep them. Lose lose!
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What do you mean with âplacementâ?..
Always choose your Children over a Man
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I pray that GOD helps ya,ll.
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Wow your poor daughter. You really trying to choose between a man and your own kid? Smh
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Speaking as the âproblem childâ of a marriage. My mom did choose her husband at the time, and guess what? He cheated and they ended up divorced. She regrets her decision and our relationship because of it was horrible most of my life. There was a lot of forgiveness moving forward, and we are closer than ever now because of it. Your child may not be as forgiving. Never choose a man over your children. Ever.
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If you actually have to ask this, then you need to not have children I mean no matter who is there or comes along your children should always come first without a doubt or a thought
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Nothing goes before your kids. If you choose your husband over your own daughter you can forget about any relationship with her in the future. She wonât ever forget your choice.
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I havent even read past the first paragraph 'should I choose my husband or my child???
SERIOUSLY IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION?
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Out of everything
Choose your daughter
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You choose your child!!! Kick him to the curb! đ¤Śđ˝ââđł
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Do you really have to ask about picking your daughter over some man?
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Blood is thicker than water,
My question would be did she exhibit this behavior before you got with this man or is it a result of her not wanting you with him. And extremely difficult in every front?...if she is a harm to herself or others then it is past time to seek help. There is something called emergency commitment which is often needed so one wonât harm self or others. Please be watchfulâŚâŚscream for help for your child if needed
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Your children should always come first
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Omg is this for real some people should never have kids
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WOW!! I havenât read that he is asking you to choose so donât. And if he does want you to choose then he shouldnât be the choice. If he canât handle it then let him go. That is your child, who is still a child.
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No choice you have the God given privilege to choose your daughter every time
Divorce that asshat!
The fact that you HAVE to ask this question is ridiculous. Your children should ALWAYS come before anyone.
This isnât some random guy. Itâs her husband and she has 2 children with him.
Itâs important for everyone to take care of themselves, especially when dealing with a loved one with additional needs. It seems that youâre all doing whatâs needed in terms of care and therapy.
I donât think you need to choose either way. Itâs just a difficult situation for all involved. Continue with the therapies and look after yourselves & each other.
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Is this even a real question? Your child is number 1 smh
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I think what you need to do and should do is be there and support your daughter rather than looking to send her away⌠she obviously needs the help and support and to have you there , not giving her up because sheâs âtoo much to deal withâ.
maybe she feels , sees or hears whatâs going on aswell and sheâs acting out more âŚ
Clearly he doesnât have you or your childrenâs best interests at heart and heâs thinking very selfishly⌠as it seems to be you are aswellâŚ
Do you really have to choose? Or should you ? No. You can be there for both especially your daughter and If he chooses to walk away then so be it. If he does , then he doesnât care. So Let him.
Why is this even a question!
In any circumstance you always choose your kids. If your âhusbandâ canât deal with your daughter, then you need to cut him loose.
Your child needs you to be fully present in her life and get her through this hard time.
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You fuck your husband off mate. That is your child. She needs you more than he ever will. I canât believe this is even a question.
When it comes down to the whole thing you are the only one that has to make the choice may god help you
Your child always comes first⌠this shouldnât be a question. Obviously Iâm sure itâs a very hard circumstance to deal with⌠but your husband decided he wanted to marry you⌠he should have thought about what all that meant before asking for your handâŚ
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you can find another husband. She can never go find another mom.
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As a former out of control teen let me put a spin on this my âmotherâ or egg donor as i call her chose her man over me. We never recovered i raised myself. She died we never reconnected
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Daughter duhhhh! Who questions that?
There should not even be a choice that needs to be made. You brought your daughter into the world to love & protect her as much as you can and it sounds like that is what you are doing. I think you chose the wrong man to join your life. It might be sad to say goodbye to him but he doesnât fit in your family.
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no man should make you chose. This is not what a marriage should be! He should be willing to work harder for your marriage and harder for your family. He should treat this as if it were his own daughter, would he give up then? He is a coward. If this were a test, he failed.
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This question shouldnât even be asked and the fact that you asked it just makes me sick. YOUR CHILDREN COME FIRST AND YOU ALWAYS CHOOSE YOUR KIDS OVER ANYONE AND EVERYONE.
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Your children ALWAYS come first.
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If you did chose your husband over your daughter, could you live with that choice for the rest of your life.
Not to be rude but if this is something your second guessing than thatâs sad! Your children should always come first no matter what the situation. Parents who choose their spouse or anyone else for that matter over their children donât deserve to be parents. Give the man the boot if he canât handle it!
He f***ing knew this was how your daughter was. Not only is he making her anxiety worse with his âstressâ but also making you feel like a failure. (Iâm sure you already have that opinion of yourself as all mothers feel a degree of it.) I usually play devilâs advocate but on this one, throw the whole ducking man away. Again, if heâs known you for quite a number of yearsâŚhe should know the dynamic in the house and if he wanted to be a part of it so badly then he could be doing things to help your daughter, not add to hers/your stress and anxiety.
You have people in these comments that will help in any way we can. Stay strong and be your daughters voice.
Yeah so you had your child first. She needs to be your priority. And always until sheâs an adult. Cannot even believe this is a question and we wonder how our kids got to where they are?!?! Tf
Itâs a tough situation. Your teenage daughter in a medical situation and God and you guys along know what contributed to her state and then your husband who took vows for good or bad. Seems yo me your husband need shouldnât be applying pressure on you to choose him over your child. He should understand that when he said heâs taking you that meant all of you including your kids. You get one chance yo be there for this child and your husband gets one chance to choose yo be there for you or walk away because its not all peachy. As a woman who was a child whose mother didnât choose her but chose her husband, Iâm asking you to choose your child. Donât wait like my mum to choose me years later. By then I did my healing and I donât want or need you and my kids donât either. Every child deserves to have parents who are there. Your child obviously dealt with and is dealing with something so choose her. A man could walk away but that child came from you.
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If thatâs even a question you should look in the mirror and see what kind of mom you are
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Your child didnât ask to be born, you brought her into the world and itâs YOUR duty to do everything you can for her, if he canât handle that well he knows where the door is, itâs not as simple as that but choosing should be easy
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That shouldnât even be a question honestly. Your child should always come first! Your the one that has to live with the choice that you make. I know you stated there was therapy involved but have you really sat down with just her to figure out everything going on with her. Like a mutual understanding of no judgment no fighting.
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You always choose your kids. If he canât handle being a father thatâs on him, not you and not your daughter. You are getting her the help she needs. You are a good mother. Donât let him make you give up on her.
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Canât believe your even questioning it⌠your husband has just put her in the too hard basket⌠piss him offâŚ
Tell him to kick rocks. You gave birth to that girl. If he canât âhandle thisâ then heâs not worthy of you or your children.
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Donât even choose a man over your children
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Call me a bitch for being so blunt, but NO ONE should be chosen above your child!
Kids first never chose a man over your own kids
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Oh hell no. KIDS should always be any good mothers choiceâ:exploding_head:
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Honestly I hated everyone my mom was with. People wrote it off as teenage shit and mental illness. Now though? Now I see they were fucking garbage, and i had every right to hate them, and my mom was actually making my mental illness worse.
I am NOT saying that is what is happening here. We couldnât possibly know that with the information given. I am saying though that discounting it as mental illness is not doing your daughter any favors. There is a root problem somewhere, and it MUST be found for the health of everyone involved. You must be open minded though because thereâs a chance they wonât ever get along.
Mother to mother I couldnât be with someone my kids donât love.
This is a question??? Iâm confused. Idgaf, my kids will always come before my husbandâŚ.and heâs the biological dad.
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The fact that you would even consider choosing any man over your own child is shocking. Children together or not, no man is more important than your children. End of story.
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My dad chose my step mother over me. I was a troubled teen also. I have yet to forgive him for it and still have a very rocky relationship with him.
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Your question sickens me
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Your kid is underage so you need to be there for her. He should be as well. If you got really sick and he had to care for you and the kids would he ?, DEFINITELY NOT. Let him go
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Wait placement for herâŚis this meaning you were going to like give her up orrrrrrâŚ
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Stupid question-the kids ALWAYS first!!
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If he canât support you mentally and emotionally while youâre supporting your child mentally and emotionally, thatâs a huge red flag. Your responsibility is to your daughterâŚ
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Choose your kids over anything and AnyoneâŚPERIOD!!!
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Children come first. Always.
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Um let his ass go is this really even a question 
the fact youâd even give this any thought says alot 
about you and why that child is in therapy already js
I kinda went through the same thing! You can message me if you want a friend to talk to who understands you and wonât judge your situation. Having a teen with these issues is definitely tough and having it interfere Iâm sure with not only your relationship but probably the whole household makes it even harder. Donât give up and keep your head up. May even be time to try family counseling or a new therapist if possible. Not all therapist are the same and some are better than others. Maybe she has daddy issues with her biological and feels some type of way. Who knows. Let her have a safe place to vent and listen. Much love
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Barf. You always pick your children.
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Look there are men out there who will love you and your kids the same like their their own blood a little back story on me my husband and I were together 13 yrs b4 we got married I have a 5 yr old daughter who is not my husbandâs bc i was date raped my husband chose to stay and marry me anyways knowing the struggles it will bring and questions it would cause to rise especially cause my daughter is mixed if your fiance was a real man he would stay no matter what if he truly loved you you wouldnât have to choose and If you truly loved your child and remembered that first heartbeat you heard of hers you wouldnât even be asking this question but idk
Always choose your child over a man. I donât see how you can even question it.
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At age 14 I was exactly how you describe your daughter. I was lost, diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety, suicidal and the whole nine yards. I was a mess and had very little support from my mother at that time. My parents had divorced years prior and my mother was in a relationship with a very unstable, angry man and she constantly blamed me for putting a strain on their relationship. To put it into few words, she chose him over me in nearly every case. I grew to resent her and it only made our family disfunction worse. My advice is to support your daughter. She is your flesh and blood and deserves your love and support through thick and thin. Even in a perfect family situation, your husband doesnât have to stick around. You choose your spouse, children donât get to choose their parents. Like others have said, if she is not a physical threat to you guys or your other children, you should ALWAYS choose your child.
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Childrenâs therapy definitely adds stress into a relationship. I have two autistic toddlers and the amount of therapies we go through literally seems endless. Itâs extremely hard on us to keep our relationship up. If my husband ever told me anything like this though I would be signing the divorce papers. Itâs not worth it stay with someone who isnât willing to out their absolute all into everything including kids.
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You cannot abandon your child for any man⌠also⌠the fact that he wants to run and not show you support? ⌠It has to make it clear to you. Your child deserves a mom⌠and he doesnât deserve you.
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Kick him to the curb!!! Your kids was there first and should be your first choice ALWAYS!!!
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I can understand the stress this is putting on your relationship. I get it. But there is no question or advice needed for this one. Your kids always come first. No matter what. If he canât handle it and get through this with you as a family then tough shit. Sounds like he is looking for the easy way out. He knows where the door is. And you should help him to it.
Uh you should never choose anyone over your child.
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Let him leave your kids come first no matter what
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Are you fu---- serious your kid needs you, this shouldnât even be up for discussion at all. If he canât handle it to pack his shit up and leave
Always choose your child
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Can you look into respite for her for breaks from time to time?
She needs you you choose kids first over anybody.
Show her that sheâs loved and wanted
She knows how your husband feels about her and isnât helping her situation
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He choose to be in your life⌠kids the lot.
Do you just get rid off your child because a NON biological parent isnât happy.
OMG âŚ
or is it that you have had enough and just want an easy out?
Either way
Would you like if you were your daughter to have those who are her people leave and abandon you!!
If he chooses to leave then let him, this is your baby, be her mum.
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Kids come first no matter what in my opinion.
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Your kids come before anyone . Point blank . If he wants to leave at everyoneâs time of need and support , so be it . He wasnât meant to be there anyways . Because if he loved them , and you , like he âsays he doesâ he wouldnât be wanting to leave and not be with yâall anymore . I know itâs stressful , but to abandon the ones who love you , is horrible !
You talk about choice, she is your child, already because of many crisis, in therapy ??? Chose him, see how long she lives !! Iâm sick of women selecting a man over child, shouldnât even be a question. The women I know want a partner to share, help, not make things worse.
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Choose the child. If he wanted he could step up and make things easier by trying to treat her with respect and make her feel like all of you are a family. He should not be having you pick.
I seriously donât understand why this question is asked so much because as a mother and grandmother there would never even be a questionâŚthe kids should come first!! No man is worth abandoning your children!!
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My hubby tried that with me because he wanted to travel instead of raising 3 of my grands. Our daughter has medical issues to make it hard to care for her children. I told him bye 5 years ago he love them kids and didnât leave
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lots of perfect Little families and mums here 
to the OP. I do hope that things start to get better, for you and your family sounds like you are having a hard time right now. sending you love and strength you got this
As a mother, I cannot fathom the thought of ever choosing someone over my child. He is already showing signs of buckling under pressure and youâre still contemplating choosing himâŚno wonder the child is in such turmoil, with a mother that would choose a man over her. 
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This shouldnât even be in question. People who could choose a man over their own children donât deserve to be a Mother!
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He wasnât ready or wanting when you married him. Heâs not going to magically be ready now. Not all people are built to sustain the hardships with you. Itâs not even a choice but since you need someone to lay out your priorities for you, choose your kid.
She is your child âŚwill always be your child ⌠this shouldnât even be a question!
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Your children come first. Find a natural doctor and see if your child has a mineral imbalance. So many times these things are overlooked by regular doctors. I had a copper/zinc imbalance and my attitude and anger were out of control.
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Kids come first. Simple as that. How is this even a question? You choose your child, every time, always.
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Opting out of a minor child is not an option, soâŚ
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Always choose your child/children 
l
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Please tell me you chose your child first
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Chose your child every time ! No matter the situation! She didnt ask to be brought into your life he did. Shes having a hard time and she needs support not dismissed. Iâm sorry things arnt going well in your marriage but that sounds like a him problem. Hes an adult she is a child who needs help and guidance. If it was his biological child could he walk away that easy? If he could there are far more issues.
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Parents donât quit. If he married with the intent to be a parent to your kids, you donât quit because itâs hard.
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