Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do I have to communicate with my ex husbands new wife? - Mamas Uncut
I just feels like its 2 sides to every story. Were only getting your side. If yall been communicating and now she has to be in on it, what happened to make her feel that way… I just see its a bunch of stuff missing…
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He should be able to co parent with you, alone!
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No. Your ex is the parent. You do not have to communicate with her about anything. All communication is the responsibility of your ex. Judges will tell you the same thing. You are to communicate with the parent if he cannot co-parent in a healthy way the judge will seek other arrangements. Probably not in his favor at all, especially when it comes to missing out on something to do with your child’s education just because he has a controlling wife. Not looking good for him
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Never communicated in the beginning with my husbands ex wife. But I was just a girlfriend then. Changed maybe less than a year . Nothing crazy but we would go pick up kiddo That changed once our new baby came about a year later. She’s the best ex wife better. She loves my kids and i love hers. We definitely communicate. Sometime the husband was to busy so I was the next option. Now we all hang out, the husband’s , the children and we drink and make fun of the husbands on occasion. Communication is big. I’m grateful she opened that door. Now we’re a big happy Brady bunch style family. April🙏
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I do the sole communicating with the ex wife so she is not pushing any buttons and doesn’t get completely cut off.
In our instance we have custody though and I love and raise my son like my own and have since he was 1 (12 years now).
There’s always 3 sides to a story.
No need for disrespect though it makes it hard on the child/children.
I wouldn’t block her but have very firm boundaries
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Very very insecure if you have counsellors or court go back there
You do not need this stress …if he is unwilling then cut them al off as much as possible avoid interacting with them if you can PARENTING IS HARD as it is …but ensure that the right thing is done at their end
Me I will never ever call you unless it is an emergency and if you are not pulling your weight and doing your share I will contact the right authority…
Make them feel more insecure by keeping out of their way as much as possible.
I hear all this about a child needing father mother etc if you show love and PRAY you will raise them well
Good luck
DO NOT GIVE HER OR THEM ANY POWER BY NEEDING THEM TO DO STUFF FOR YOUR CHILD
No, you don’t. You created a child with him and him only. If he’s unable to talk to you (as in deathly ill or worse) then fine, but you don’t have to communicate with her if y’all don’t get along. I’ve gone through this and I personally blocked everyone associated with him that way he has no choice but to communicate with me about the child we made 
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Oh jealousy and insecurities 
how low
You can’t do co parenting with this human shaped walking thing … block and block
If she doesn’t like it cry me a river and learn to RESPECT ME
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I don’t see a reason you have to communicate specifically with her but I don’t see an issue with her being able to see all communication between the two of you if it helps to put her insecurities to rest. I would request that she restrains from commenting or responding in any way if she would like that privilege to continue. The reason I say this is my ex-husbands girlfriend was very insecure and threatened by me and it only caused more issues if she felt like things were being hidden from her. She would start fights with my x while my children were there or make comments like go back to your ex-wife to which then my daughter would feel the need to respond and defend me. It just wasn’t worth the drama. Once she was able to see that my only interest with him had to do with our children the behavior stopped. She has no right to be disrespectful towards you and that I would not allow. I would make it very clear that it was unacceptable and would not be tolerated.
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Absolutely not. Like everyone is saying she didn’t create the baby. You and him did. Things like this should be talking about through you and him (unless yall have a good relationship with the wife) he needs to communicate with you about them. I’m going through the same thing and was getting disrespected by my exs current wife. I never texted or really talked to her because of the disrespect I was getting. She didn’t deserve it because I didn’t create the baby with her. Yes I understand that once someone gets married they become a step parent to MY kids and there should be communicate there. But if you’re getting disrespected by her and he’s not doing anything about it or communicating with you then I wouldn’t communicate with her unless she wants to be mature about it and understand that this is yall daughter!
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You don’t have to communicate with her especially if shes disrespectful like that. And no judge would order you to either. If it continues and he doesnt respect you either, Id go to court and have it all in writing.
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No your not wrong. She needs to realise you aren’t going anywhere and if she didn’t want you around then she shouldn’t of got with a man that already had a child with someone else. And he needs to communicate with you for the sake of your child. You had a child with him not anybody else so you shouldn’t have to parent with anybody else. If she wants to be apart of your child’s life then great. The more the merrier but you are still Mom at the end of the day just like he’s still dad
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Nope, not wrong for that at all. Keep her blocked, message him privately, if he doesn’t answer you then that’s his fault and a judge won’t side with him
No, you do not have to communicate with her. You didn’t make kids with her and you didn’t separate from her.
No u are totally right!! Sounds to me like the new wife is threatened by u!! Shes being petty & unreasonable, stand ur ground!! Good luck!
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What goes on with your child is between you and her father. His current wife should be a support system for all. You are right. You did not have a child with her so,no,you should not need to deal with ANY disrespect from exs current wife.
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Not RONG at all I’m proud of you for standing your growned your X does not need to bring her into the group like you said you an her didn’t make the baby keep standing an don’t let her even try to push you around that is your child not hers!!!
The group chat is a great idea. Everyone on the same page and no she said she said, he can read it all. With her acting like she is to you. You could take the same ground as her but intellectual but posting therapy pages on how to co parent and ignore her bate to pick a fight.
Not wrong at all. Send him an email stating you will only communicate about your child to him through whatever method you prefer (text, email, whatever). That way if he ever tries to pull anything you have proof that you were happy to communicate with him appropriately!
You are totally correct
School assignments are the responsibility of the student,
not the parents.
No you don’t. You are the child’s mother and she has to abide by your rules and decisions and your ex husband should step up her that she is not her mother!
Go to court. They will write on the conditions that co-parenting will be done by the parents and the parents only. Meaning that him and you are the only ones communicating.
I do NOT communicate with my ex’s wife period.
He is my kids father and if I have an issue I contact him directly.
She is not aloud to contact me unless it is in a group message with my ex. There are reasons for this.
Unblock her say baby u left your underwear u didn’t say no names that’s all on her
You are not wrong. She has nothing to do with it. If she can’t work on an assignment with her what makes you think she will do anything else. I feel you gave her her chance and she blew it. Now if your ex wants to put up with it thats on him but I would hope he would be kind enough not to drag your daughter into it with that woman. God bless
Nope…it’s not her kid
If she’s being disrespectful she doesn’t need to speak with you.
I dont think the group message for communication is wrong. Keeps everyone involved with the child on the same page. Thats how we do coparenting and it has nothing to do with jealousy and even if it did? No big deal I have nothing to hide.
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You done the best you could for making things meet I’ve been in the same shoes you wear but after a while just give up on her got your no way she’s going to let him see you or she’s so insecure with her marriage that you don’t understand don’t let her go you tried and it’s not your fault she’s stupid that’s my opinion
Nope
You communicate with him. She’s not a decision maker in your parenting relationship with him. If she wants to have an opinion they can talk about it before he brings it to the table with you. I do not communicate at all with my sons stepmother. It was horrible for the first five years and I just had a cut off all communication with her.
I see where he added you to a group text to respect her to show there isn’t anything between you. And to make her feel included. But no you don’t have to talk to her or relay messages to her. My step mom (not even married to my dad) even tried to say we had to talk to her and they will talk abd she will get back to me. That is unhealthy, on many levels. And for her to keep disrespecting you as his child’s mother, is not right.
I would unblock her, and do a group text tell them how you feel this is disrespectful to you, and she has no right to speak about anything that is between him and you that is about the child. He is the parent and if she doesn’t want to back off you could take it to court and make sure it’s court ordered that she stays out of it.
I understand she wants to be included in as a parent, she has that right. But she needs to be respectful and follow boundaries. My exs wife had issues with me because he lied to her about me, and vise versa (they aren’t married anymore once she found out) we did a group text because she felt he would lie about what I said.
So we would text about what needed to be done with school work, parent teacher conferences and stuff like that. She knew thats all she could do. But she also had a place to state her concerns if my daughter did something she didn’t like or didn’t do something she was told to do. Like homework bath and cleaning up after dinner. Dad would let our daughter do whatever she wanted and allowed her to call step mom names. So I told step mom she is allowed to raise her voice and ground her. But that was as far as she could go. And I told her she had to be respectful to me when we talk just like I would her. But once she became disrespectful that’s when the conversations with her would end. And it would be taken to court as well. If the dad can’t agree and help keep it respectful, then he needs to be taken to court to make the conversation be only between you to. And no one else.
You don’t need to discuss anything with her. You need to go directly to your ex and tell him that your child is between the two of you and if she can’t be an adult and be civil, she doesn’t need to be included in anything.
He’s probably doing some sneaky stuff on his phone which is why she all of a sudden doesn’t want him communicating with you privately. I imagine it’s probably not even about you at all but does still suck.
No; You’re NOT wrong
I communicate with my twins dads wife… because hes an idiot and shes a nurse. My boy twin is disabled. We speak to each other like the 2 medical professionals we were. That’s about it
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do I have to communicate with my ex husbands new wife? - Mamas Uncut
Not one bit, I had to do the same. You can only take harassment for so long before you’re fed up. As long as theres still communication through your kids father (whether it be directly with him or a mutual third party), his new wife doesnt need to be directly involved. You did the right thing.
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Definitely not, the child is not hers the wife has no say. She’s just on a power trip because their married now. Pull her up on that and the father too.
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Nope. Technically you wouldn’t have to communicate with your ex directly if he was treating you like this, so there’s no way in hell you have to with her
Sounds like the new wife needs a smack in the mouth then she might mind her own business
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Absofuckinglutely not!!! How dare she even react like that! She needs to grow tf up! Keep doing you! Sounds like she just jealous that she ain’t the person you are!
Do what’s best for you and your child! I wouldn’t let anyone come between me and my son and no one bloody well should!
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Nope your ex is TA for allowing her to do it too
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Not at all, I don’t communicate with my son’s mother’s boyfriend and she doesn’t communicate with my girlfriend. There’s no need and it’s not like I don’t talk about what I’ve discussed with my son’s mother with my girlfriend anyway so it’s not like she’s out of the loop. The communication problem is between them and clearly she has trust issues
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do I have to communicate with my ex husbands new wife? - Mamas Uncut
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I’d suggest a round-the-table discussion to air it all out, and so you can all start on a level playing field. We always put our daughter first. She’s most likely jealous of the history you share together. Put her at ease, let her know that if it weren’t for your daughter you wouldn’t remain in contact with the father. Make sure you are only contacting in regards to the child, not other petty stuff.
It can be very tricky when emotions are brought into it.
Text messages can be interpreted incorrectly as there is no body language or voice tones involved, I’d suggest calling with matters relating to your daughter.
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In my opinion, she honestly does not need to be included anymore. The child is between you and your ex husband and the communication regarding the child needs to be between you two. You are doing her a favor allowing her to co-parent but if she can’t play nice she should play at all. If it was me I’d set her straight and tell her what her place is.
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If she can’t coparent peacefully she needs to make space. My husband his ex wife and I are all in a group chat so we are all on the same page but we coparent beautifully I’m sorry you’re facing this challenge
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You are not wrong at all!! We had a very similar situation last school year where my boyfriends ex refused to do any school work with their first grader. At first she would complete assignments for her, work way ahead in workbooks and fill out all the answers IN PEN. This was during virtual days bc of COVID. The teachers tried reaching out to ask that the student do the work, not the parent. That pissed her off so she quit doing anything and usually wouldn’t even take her to school on her days or let her attend virtually bc she had better things to do with her time. It can be absolutely exhausting trying to be a step parent and having to deal with a completely irrational ex. You have EVERY right to set strict boundaries and I hope your husband supports you and also sets his own boundaries. THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IS THE CHILD. All the adult b.s. needs to be stopped by the ex. I wish you much luck. Our situation changed greatly and we now have custody and mom gets to visit with her on Saturday’s and Sunday’s so it can work out! Keep demanding respect and focusing on the child 
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Sounds to me like the new wife is insecure in her relationship.D’ont let her disrespect you.Explain to her that you and her need to be civil to each other for the sake of the child.
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Honestly, there comes a point were you just have to put all your shit aside and work together. If she wants to be apart of the group text. Is that really such a bad thing that she wants to be evolved.
I mean of coarse if she’s being nasty to you then that is one thing. But it’s very easy to just point and say she’s the bad guy. Id say take a look back in these situations and think about what you could of done differently to Change the outcome. Just because you’re bio mom doesn’t mean you are always in the right.
You have to live with them in your life so it can ether be hard or easy. Try to get along or choose to cause drama for both of you.
But it’s always best for the child of you can get along.
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My step mom used to be like that towards my mom when I was little. The only time they ever talked was when I was attacked by a dog. Now that I’m older my step mom has apologized and will ask how my mom is, but my mom says it was too far and so long ago there’s no remorse there. It definitely took a toll on me. Definitely put your daughter first.
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My ex husband won’t talk to me, and I was having to talk to his gf to fill him in on things. I’ve since blocked both of them. If he can’t be adult enough to talk to me about his daughter than that’s his problem. They crossed a line with my daughter (stealing money from her), and I may have been really rude to her, but I was done at that point. I did my best up until that then to include her, but not after that.
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Nope. You made a baby with him not her. She is doing this because she is insecure and that is NOT your problem. If she mesages you ignore her call or message your childs father.
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O you are not wrong at all my kids dad got with this girl now has 3 boys with her and has pushed my kids out of the picture because she is a girl and is jealous I got the girl and his firs born son and she got 3 boys so now 6/7 years on my daughter calls my hubby dad and my ex hates it too the point he& his gf have stopped my son from communication with my daughter if he goes too see his dad & the boys as she is not aloud too know anything about her half brothers because she got a new dad ex partners & there new gf are annoying when they r jealous I got 4 step daughters now too and I would never treat them like my ex and his gf treat my daughter and only my daughter
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You’re asking the wrong question. The question is, “is it healthy for your child to have you at odds with her step mom?.”
Of course she is being ridiculous but the innocent party in this is your daughter. Put her first and bite the bullet imo
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Your “husband’s new wife” 
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Nope. Not wrong. The decisions for your child and discussions about your child should be had with the father of the child.
If she’s not going to stay in her lane? Block away.
If she’s going to be a hindrance or meddlesome? Do not involve her for help. Your child is your ex’s responsibility and he alone is responsible for helping her with homework while it’s his time.
Unfortunately all you can do is ask him to do it. Have record that you asked (to show the teacher and anyone else). Then let it go.
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I am in a similar situation where my ex has a girlfriend that sometimes takes care of my child while my ex is at work. It’s like I have my hands tied because I don’t want anything bad to happen with my child while she is with her.
At the same time I have to keep a healthy distance between her and me because she doesn’t like me communicating with my ex even though it’s only about our daughter. She is the Jealous type and insecure that my ex may or may not still love me.
At this point I keep my communication to a minimum and only text my ex when absolutely needed about our daughter.
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Sounds like she’s the one with the issue. I would have blocked her as well. You only need to communicate with him if she’s not willing to be civil. Let him know that you wont respond to her any longer unless she apologizes and tries to get along with everyone. If the child is old enough communicate with her about what’s happening. Yes it affects your child but you don’t have to accept another person’s shity Behavior
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Honestly the best thing you can do is have a conversation with your daughter about being responsible when she is at dads house. At the end of the day the assignment is her responsibility and make sure you let her know that anything that slips thru the cracks while she is at her dads she will still be held accountable for. Teach her now that just because mom and dad aren’t in speaking terms doesn’t give her an out to miss assignments and be irresponsible. It’s unfortunate that she has to learn that lesson but if you want her to be successful don’t let her think that this he rebus not a United front.
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I think your ex husband is a chicken-s. My son is doing the same with his gf. Men these days are not really men. If they can avoid it, they will. Put your foot down.
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You are not wrong ! Sounds like she’s an insecure little girl . It’s great that you wanted to also include her being that she is her step mom but likes where definitely crossed. It’s also clear she doesn’t trust her husband for whatever reason but at the end of the day this shouldn’t have to involve your child . You have to coparent with him and I hope he sees through the mess and deals with you as an adult and puts his wife in her place . I’m a step parent and the mom is the opposite she’s never open to coparent or even get to know each other but her child will be treated with as much love as my bio kids and receive the same attention .
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Definitely not in the wrong! YOU are the child’s mother, and she seems to forget that. She literally shouldn’t get to have any say really, so for you to try to include her in things and to try to be on the same page with everything, when it comes to your child, and for her to act like that, just goes to ahow she isn’t meant for this new role ahe has. Kudos to you for trying at least. She needs to grow up and get off her high horse or your ex needs to deal with her, or get rid of her because clearly she doesn’t have your child’s best interest in mind.
If your ex-husbands wife feels disrespected by you of course he’s gonna back up his wife and let her handle the communication. The moment he said I do to her she because the most important woman in his life, don’t be a bitter baby mama. She doesn’t need to prove anything to you and I have a feeling that you were less than nice to her before this “random” switch in behavior happened
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This step mother is out of line! The main communication should be between you and the child’s father not the step mom so no you do not have to communicate at all with her. I myself am a step mom and would never act this way. If she don’t want to respect you then your ex needs to talk to her. All step parents should respect the birth parents hands down. Try and talk to her face to face (with a mediator) and get to the what the issue really is may help also.
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I honestly would continue with the group chat if that’s the only way to communicate and completely ignore anything disrespectful that she says. Be sweet as can be and believe me, that will be enough for her.
If you say, “Hey, don’t forget to make sure child completes project this weekend please!” And then she follows up with, “Well, if you would help your kid with her f****** homework instead of being a lazy b****, maybe she would have it done!” Or whatever… Just say, “Thanks! I appreciate your help… I know you guys want her to be successful just like I do.”
And if she replies more crap, literally just ignore it until the next necessary communication.
Can’t force her to cooperate but you can maintain control of the situation by simply choosing not to engage with the negativity.
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Can I switch my husband baby momma with her…lol she is willing to coparent for the child sake. Not trying to add drama OMG we would have been BFF’s. He need to let his wife know to chill before the situation gets out of hand
If your child has school work that needs to be done, then it is down to the parents to encourage this and if your daughter is with your ex husband and his wife , then they need to be making sure she is doing it, your contacting them about it, to make sure that she’s doing her work, is you parenting and they need to be parenting, you have not gone in to detail about that, about how she was reacting, but she could have been on it and getting her to do her work and she could have felt , you lacked the faith. Did your daughter get her work done at her fathers? Maybe she is trying her best and is getting emotional about it. It is hard for her to find her place and be involved.
But if she took a different attitude and does not care for your daughter getting her work done , then she is not helping or parenting and this is not good for your daughter. A sit down and talks is needed and it needs to be about what’s best for your daughter.
You don’t need to communicate with both. You and him are the parents she’d just there as an extra. I suggest you having them face to face and let her know what you don’t appreciate about her. And say that you two have to parent your daughter and her help or advice will only be asked when needed other than that she needs to see this is the best interest of the child
Ge needs to be doing what is best for his child. Letting step mom disrespect Mom is definitely not what is best for her. I can imagine what she is saying when daughter is there.
Don’t have anything to do with her as she’s not your family. I would of never been that nice to her in the first plsce
I don’t say this lightly. But, when it comes to your child sometimes you have to be the bigger person. Ignore the snide comments and such. It’s a crime that the new wife is like that, but you’re reactions will be something that your child will observe and learn from. Dad needs to grow a pair, but you can’t make him. Personally, I would have difficulty following my own advice, but as a child of divorced parents and an adult, I can see where compromising and lots of effort will pay off. Good luck!
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My ex husband’s now ex wife was so rude to me, and also told him he needed to take our kids away from me. Sometimes the new wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, husband are intimated and threatened by the ex. I don’t know why, you broke up for a reason. Keep the texts of her lashing out if their on text. You never know when you need them for proof
You HAVE to keep the lines of communication open with your daughter’s Dad. She needs to grow up, and he needs to tell her to butt out.
What’s wrong with addressing it as it happens. Something like, are you upset with me about something else because I think you are overreacting.
I say the ex-husband need to let his new wife know that he is with her but still needs to communicate with his daughters mom and if she can’t handle being friends with ypu and let him be a dad and a man it’s gonna get ugly. And if there becomes issues with the three of you it does affect the child I would know I was the child
Maybe it’s the fact you still class him as “your husband” he’s your ex! He’s married to someone new! Maybe you need to respect her boundaries?
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Nope. He can be a big boy and talk to the mother of his children.
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No. She as his wife should respect the mother of his child. She may be wife/stepmum but at the end of the day it’s not her child and she should stay out of the decision making ect around that. You seem like you’ve really made an effort and you are getting nothing in return, I think you’ve done right in her blocking her and don’t take the bait if she tries to start anything maintain your cool head and do the best you can do to try co parent with your ex husband
Honey, that’s her trust issues proving their relationship is not strong. No you don’t have to be in that nonsense. I just wouldn’t respond. At some point he’s going to need to communicate with you so he will get the message.
My ex-husband remarried and when our oldest daughter was able to visit her father and stepmother in Hawaii, his new wife bought me a box of macadamia nut dark chocolate, a pound and a half! I told my ex I hope he is good to her because she is a good woman. I would think that would be comforting to our daughters that at least we are not battling back and forth causing more stress for them because they don’t want to have to choose between their parents as to who is their favorite
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Are you required to communicate with her regarding the well being and up keep of your child. Absolutely not. If you have a proper child custody order, (and you should and must have if you don’t) it will without a doubt, not include her. Continue to make the proper, recorded, documented, witnessed attempts to communicate with your ex in the required circumstances when it is regarding your child. If and when he doesn’t respond properly in a given amount of time, especially when it may or might cause potential harm or disruption regarding your child’s safety and well being, take him back to family court. I am sure that the judge will make an order which describes who you should and must communicate with on the behalf of your child.
Deal with the Dad. Leave her out. You tried. Sometimes you just can’t deal with new wives because of her insecurities. Hopefully she at least treats your child good.
Sounds like she’s jealous and thinks ya’ll still have a thing going on? She’s just jealous either way. If you tried your best to include her and she doesn’t want to then I’d still continue to talk to dad without her. 
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She’s jealous & probably thinks your ex husband is still in love with you.
Your husband is the one who needs to set boundaries for HIS child.
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She is wrong if you are talking to him about your daughter, it is real none of her business. You don’t need to include her in it if she can be respectful .
Not at all wrong. If she want respect from you, she needs to respect you as well
Go back to court to modify your court order. I know you can’t dictate who he can have her around on his time. you can bring up the fact that this person is a detriment to your daughters well being. The shenanigans she pulled with remote learning is an example. I would at least talk to a lawyer to see what my options would be.
YOU ARE NOT IN THE WRONG… And she needs to respect you especially on front of the child children remember things us as parents often think they won’t so it’s always best to be kosher with all adults involved in that child’s life
Put your daughter first, but always be the bigger person. Don’t let the actions of others determin how you react and speak.
Ya no…when a third party becomes disrespectful communication with them goes out the window.
As the child’s MOTHER I will not take being disrespected by anyone when it comes to them
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Just make sure you get as much evidence as possible,that she is the one responsible for the downturn in communication, could be a fight for custody looming,be careful
Parents divorces are so painful to the children. It’s not the children’s fault. I would hope the new stepmother would respect the children and their mother because it’s called maturity and caring more about the children than the adults. I don’t understand why adults cannot act like adults and punish the children by not working out their differences with their EX or their new spouse.
No you are not wrong! She just sounds insecure and/or ignorant about maintaining peace. Good Luck.
Take him back to court 
get it set in writing you must communicate with the father of the child, the new wife isn’t mommy and you need to help the child grow in academics
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Nope don’t need to communicate with her at all.
No ur not . With the way she is is gonna make it hard on the child .it should be u n the ex talking or playing cuz it is u 2 child .
You should have told your EX, what you did not like, not his wife!