Do I have to send my ex child support when he has our son?

My son is with me 100% of the time for the school year. Then sees his dad for summer. Dad lives out of state. Anyway… his dad pays me so much money a month in child support. This has been going on for almost a year now. We have in our parenting plan that we switch who claims my son alternating years. So this year he got to claim him. Well my sons dad messaged me yesterday saying that he wants me to send him the child support payments that i get from him back in the summer time(the child support comes out of his paychecks) The 2 months my son is with him. I think that’s ridiculous being that I have our son way more than half the time and he also claimed our son this year for the child tax credit. Am i wrong for not agreeing to this? He said if I don’t want to agree to send MY child support payments back in the summer he will petition it. I don’t care if he does… i had a lawyer set our child support payment and the parenting plan less than a year ago and it had in there specifically if he moves out of state (dad is in military) the child support doesn’t change in summer. but just wanted some insight. Please and Thanks.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do I have to send my ex child support when he has our son?

Tell him to go ahead and petition

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Absolutely not. He was ordered to pay CS not u.

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sometimes i wonder why you woukd even need it if the kids not with you? why be greedy lmao :woman_shrugging:t3: ijs i think some women like to see men fail. but idk what do i knoooww? its like the people who have full 50/50 and one parent still has to pay. :upside_down_face::face_vomiting:

he should petition it.

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Ridiculous- your house payment isn’t cut in half when your child visits dad

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Call your lawyer
Have him send your ex the parenting custody plan and support documents.

Follow your parenting plan that he has agreed to and take a screenshot of that part and send it to him.

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Let him make a donkey of himself and petition it…

Go by what your court order reads

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My husband has to pay monthly during the summer while they’re with us, never gets to claim either one on taxes, carries full insurance on both and still splits any large expense. He shouldn’t rock the boat and should consider himself lucky.

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Court order doesn’t change based on the months of who the kid is with. It’s based off of the whole year and you get sent so much every week or every two weeks.

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Let him waste his money and take that to a judge. An attorney will take any idiot as a client who pays them. He can feel special until the judge basically laughs in his face.

Agree with polly. You keep the roof over your child’s head. He’s being greedy.plus he got the child tax credit. That was plenty of money for him to take care of the child over the summer. Not your fault if he blew it and didn’t save it for the child.

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You dont have the kid in summer and its CHILD SUPPORT not mother support.

Good luck to him. Hope he wins his petition

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He actually shouldn’t be claiming him on his taxes. Court order or not. And you do not send child support just because he gets him for a couple months…

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You still have to keep household up and stocked. Clothes,shoes,cleaning supplies ect to help when child comes home.

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Child support is set and determined by time with the child and difference in income. He can’t just make up his own rules. He has to follow the paperwork and continue to give you child support payments year round unless otherwise noted in your paperwork.

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Don’t send it to him and let him waste money to petition it. Child support was calculated and set based upon all the factors involved, including custody.

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No my ex husband pays me as he only has our son 2 weekends a month xx

Do count on that CS to pay your bills even if the child is at his father’s

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask to not have to pay child support during the 2months that the child is in their care :woman_shrugging:t3: Why do you need it when you don’t have the child in your care during that time? They aren’t costing you anything so it’s literally just for you not the child during that time :woman_shrugging:t3:

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When my daughter stayed with her dad for 2 months I sent back his court ordered child support and additional money from my own pay even though I didn’t have to. I have a job to pay my rent and bills that money was supposed to be used to help with her needs; when she was with him he was the one paying for her needs. That’s just how I see things …

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You don’t have to send him those payments during the summer month he have him. If it doesn’t state it in the orders.

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Screenshot parenting plan & send it to him… ridiculous,
The only difference for you during summers should be food sooooo send with your son a summer food care package lol if he needs help & that is it,you still have same bills & housing expenses etc… Hubby being very petty ,

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Sorry but why should he pay you child support for the time he has the child. He has him for two months so he should not be paying child support for those two months. Child support is for the child not for you.why do you need it when you don’t have the child for that long and the father has to pay for everything when he has the child. To many mother’s see their children as a pay packet these days

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Child support is for the child being with you. He doesn’t send you one lump sum a year and is asking you for it back. He just doesn’t want to pay you for the child when he has him and you don’t. Your bills aren’t his problem his son is. If you were in cananda you’d be fined for refusing and then garnishment would cease. He is not being mean or rude. You have a business agreement regarding your sons food clothing fun and personal needs. Not whether you want to go party while he’s gone. You shouldn’t even get the money if you don’t have your son. It’s two whole
Months he has to pay for food clothing fun etc. that’s why the money is for. Not you.
Your choice of lifestyle isn’t his problem and his choice of lifestyle isn’t yours. Your lucky he doesn’t go after you for child support for the summer months because he’s entitled to it if he has to pay you.
You don’t care if your son has a good time and it’s pretty obvious Sad.
And no i have six kids and have not ever gotten any child support ever. But I do know a bullshit vent when I see one. Facebook isn’t a legal podium it’s a drama enhancing environment. You just want attention and feel guilty for taking money you shouldn’t have so your hoping everyone will say your right. You just sound horrible even the way you wrote the post. Geeez

Don’t do it, let him petition it. Let the court decide

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I mean I can see his point. Why should he pay child support if he has the child? I would just let him take it to court.

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Dad here who has his son less than half the time.
I get his argument but hes wrong. His 2 months straight is equal to about 4-5 days a month. If thats all that he had your child, he would still be paying the same amount. He just bunches his time together.

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If he is getting child tax 100% of the year, then no.

I agree with him🤷🏻‍♀️ if you don’t have the child then you don’t need the CHILD support. He has him for 2 straight months so he should get those 2 months sent back to him

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Depends on the Custodial Agree, the State you live in if, ex, my friend lives in OK her kids went back to dad in NJ, they weren’t with dad for X amount of weeks so dad had to keep paying child support

I’m thinking some of the people who’ve commented on this have never been in your situation so really have no basis in answering your question. You have a court order so go by that. To other people commenting: the parent who has the kids more does not determine how much they will get for child support (which is used to help pay the bills)…there is a child support calculator that the courts use to determine the amount!

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If your son is with him why would you need the child support

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This post is good for seeing who uses their child as a meal ticket

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Do NOT agree to that

You are right. Just because he has him a short time doesn’t mean he gets it back. My opinion.

Ummmm if I had to guess his support doesn’t cover a third of what it takes to put a roof over child’s head, food in his mouth, clothes on his back, electricity to stay warm in the winter/cold in the summer, phone bill for communication, necessities such as laundry soap to wash his clothes, shampoo, conditioner, body wash, gas to get him back and forth to school and or daycare, and so much more. Tell your Ex good luck, see you in court buddy!

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And if the kids are with the dad in the summer what would she even need child support for while they are gone?If she’s having a hard time paying her bills to take care of her kids for the rest of the year she should have gone to court to get it adjusted before the dad got them for the summer…
Not to mention, obviously it’s expensive to live most places right now but with the dad being out of state,his cost of living might be VASTLY different than hers…I dunno,I just don’t see what the big deal is,the dad only has her son for two months for the summer,he’s in the military,so it may be $500,$600 a month?So at best she would be giving him a grand and some change?Big whoop,sounds like she don’t wanna fork over her summer spendin money to me :woman_shrugging:t3:

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I agree with Amy Jubell Leach. He shouldn’t be claiming the child on his taxes, court order or not. And you don’t have to pay child support just because he has the child for 2 months a year. Child support is based off the entire year, not month by month

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No u do not have to it doesn’t work like that

No I agree with him, he has the child 2 whole months…he needs that money to look after that child for 2 months.

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Usually it’s only 1 parent who pays support. Not both. And depending on the financial situations of both parties, more times than not, the party who’s income is greater. But it can also depend on the lawyer.

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Why is he claiming child tax when son is with you? Isn’t that fraudulent?

As for child support no it will have been worked out to account for those 2 months and spread out over the year
If he wants to do it that way he’ll end up paying extra on the other months

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Take it to court. He’d still have to pay it if he only had your son on weekends and on certain holidays too. No different. My old neighbor paid his even when he had his children during the summer months or whenever they came to town. Legally are the primary parent.

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Honestly you’re not supposed to be able to claim a dependent unless you have them least half thevyear. You don’t have to send him nothing and I wouldn’t. He is supposed to be able to provide on his own. Tell him no but thanks. If he needs food for the kid that’s the least I’d do. Tell him if he xant provide for him then maybe he shouldn’t get him

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He is trying to use threats to scare you. A judge would laugh at him if he tried to ask for that money back… It’s his job to provide when child is with him ,not come back to him. Even though court you agreed to claim alertnating years its actually against IrS to file if you have him 100%. He should not be filing for him as its screwing you over big time! Those credits and all he could make you pay or IRS can audit you, and you will be responsible, not him.

** IRS over rules court order**
Also im studying law for my ex being the type of person who used threats

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Check. I think the Govt says you have to. Its not like it’s 2 weeks. 2 months is considered a huge amount of time to the Govt. Check with the proper agency.

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Let him petition it…it will be a waste of time. That support is for general living needs, so supporting the home his child will be going home to isn’t something he gets to revoke for 2 months out of the year. I’d tell him to kiss my ass.

  1. follow your court order
  2. he will probably win the petition and the court order will be modified. Then follow that. ( they may adjust the amount for when you have the child and then pause it while he has the child - for an extended amount of time. ) That’s how mine ended up. We had to submit the start/stop of summer break- according to the school schedule, to the office of child support, and they paused the payments.
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Child… Support…
As long as it’s ultimately going to your child.
I wouldn’t send it to him, but you should at least put the money in your child’s savings account since he’s not with you

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Check out something I heard - that the tax law has been revised in that the parent who has the child with them gets to claim even if there’s a prior agreement. As far as the summer, tell him to take you to court. I don’t think he’ll win.

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Don’t give him a dime. Those payments are broken into a 12 month payment plan to help support your child

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If this was handled in the court then let him get a lawyer

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When the child support was sorted did they take into account % of care you both have ?
Seriously if he had the child under 52 nights a year then it wouldn’t be included as it only counts as him having a % by nights of over 52 annually.I suggest ringing child support up and asking them if it affects and they’ve taken his care into account or you have too

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Nope I wouldn’t have him start a order it will cost him not you… then sit quietly as the judge tells him off… and then request that he doesn’t get to file the taxes on him every year tell them to take it out of his monthly child support that means more money for you every year even though you’d have to wait for your taxes it would be worth him not being able to claim him :joy::joy::joy: that’s what I did it was a win win for me

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I’d give him something but not the full child payment if that makes sense xx

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Then the answer is right there . No

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Tell him if he wants the money for those months he cant claim him for the yr… Since he wants to be petty.

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He is dreaming :joy::joy::joy:
Tell him no, you are using it to prepare for the child coming home

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Talk to your lawyer.

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If you could get alimony then I’d take him back to court & request that just to piss him off even more!

And he shouldn’t be getting the child tax either!

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In my opinion, if it was meant to be that way then the court order would clearly state it in writing. Also, just because he pays child support does not mean he is the sole provider. The child support is not just free money to the custodial parent or a meal ticket as some have called it. It is to help in providing the roof over the child’s head the MAJORITY of the year, help keep the bills paid no matter if it is electric, water, phone to ensure communication between parents, the school, doctors, etc or even to help with vehicle payments to transport the child to and from places he or she needs to go including visitation with the non custodial parent, plus purchasing clothing and kids can grow at outrageous speed at times. Look at it like this, it would be no different than if the parents were still together and both chipping in on everything above.

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Keep every dime and let him take you to court about it.

No! Your court paperwork even states that

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Hahahaha NO, you do not send him the child support!

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Ive alway given my ex the child support when he has him for the holidays as its for my child’s benefit it goes towards his upkeep i feel the money for my child goes with my child get a weitten agreement andvboth sign it there are no complications and allso proof of where the child money is at that time .

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Dad is in military…I don’t think they get much of an option on moving out of state? So he might not have realized that was in there where it was set, not that he has to say ok anyways. So he has every right to go back and ask for a change, now they might not change it but they might change it :woman_shrugging: my ex gets to claim one of our children and gets the child tax credit every year, so what. He pays you child support, he deserves to get the tax credit for supporting his child, yes I have full physical custody but he pays child support and has regular overnight visits, so he gets to his child tax credit. To ever argue that, wow, just wow.

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Omg. All the moms on here saying “what do you need it for if you don’t have the child” “he needs it it’s 2 whole months”… okay, and the fact he claimed the child on taxes when he only has him 2 months out of the entire year??? Why does he need the child tax credit if the child isn’t in his care?? Hmm??? Some of these comments are mind blowing.

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Let him take you to court I don’t think he’ll get very far so I don’t think you have anything to worry about girl I think you got this

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No the money is that what it’s called child support…just because he’s gone 2 months out of the year he still lives and resides with you…

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Dad should not have to pay when he has child

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He shouldn’t even get the child tax. Your feeding him, clothing him, providing heat and electric to him etc etc. if you do decide to keep that arrangement going all he needs to do is save the child tax in a separate bank to spend on him in the summer.

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Yeah he does not have a chance in court lol

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If I haven’t got my daughter because she’s with her dad I send the child maintenance back, he doesn’t ask but what’s the point in me having it if she’s not here.

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Absolutely not if you send it back or stop it depending on state they cannot reinstate child support. You have him 10 months of the year. Child support isn’t just for the child it’s to help furnish clothing and putting a roof over your child’s head under no circumstances should you stop it not send it back let him petition the courts… it’s already been established by a judge and motions have been filed there is nothing he can do to you

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I would go by what the court order reads… if you didn’t have one then it’s up to you…
If you know your sons dad can look after him and pay for him the time he’s with him then I wouldn’t bother but if he could do with the extra cash for your little one then help :slightly_smiling_face: I think it depends on the situation! X

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Child support is a set amount annually that is broken up into monthly payments- what he pays is for not only just the time he isn’t with the child, but also to cover his % of the child’s needs year round like rent ect… you still have those expenses in summer, and being that it’s worked out to take into account his time with and not with the child- no he’s not owed shit. If he didn’t have the kid for the summer months his child support would go up to account for the time - so he’s already received a “discount” … he can kick rocks.

You have to do whatever is stated in the court orders. If anything is changed,you have to go back to court and get orders from the judge.

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I think you should send them back during the summer. He has the kid? Like I see your point but what’s 2 months back? I dunno your decision

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I would have never agreed to that custody arrangement. Not having my kid in the summer would make me extremely sad.

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No. Child support maintains your child’s home while he is with his Father. No court would make this happen…it’s ridiculous

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Child support is calculated on days you have over 12 months so if he has him on school holidaus thats already calculated. He cant do anuthing. Let him ring and complain. The only thing he can say is he has him more days then claimed but they need to confirm with u first if true.

I see both sides here…
Dads in the military so at least he has a legitimate excuse and not a deadbeat.
As for the child support I don’t see a problem with him being reimbursed for those 2 months he solely has the child. IMO that’s totally reasonable and I would do it. When it comes to claiming him on taxes, no way would I have agreed to that. Those credits are supposed to be for the parent that has the child 6 months or more out of the year as per IRS guidelines.
Personally, I would have it changed to where his checks are not garnished for the two months of his parenting time and try and change the every other year tax dependent . I’m curious as to how he got that in the first place…
From personal experience I can tell you even with a court order the IRS doesn’t go by them unless it’s 50/50 and dad has the child 6 months or more worth of nights out of the year. My ex got audited and when he sent in the paperwork they vetoed the court order.
State orders don’t trump federal…

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Keep the CS.

If he father was to get the child every other weekend, you don’t prorate the child support for the days the child is with the other parent. It just happens that instead of getting the child every other weekend, they go during the summer. If you want, consider it as paying for a babysitter on the weekends that the child is supposed to be gone. Also, most of the time, the non- custodial parent doesn’t get to claim the child/ren. And he only has them for 2 months and mom has them for 10. I would say, I will consider it for next year, but I want it in writing that I get to claim the children every year. I mean, if he wants to get petty, we can get petty.

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He knows it won’t hold up in court which is why he’s bullying you. Don’t give him anything.

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If he is the main provider for the child ( even if the kid doesn’t live him ) he has the right to claim him in his taxes .
If he spend the summer with him , he should not have to pay child support for those months

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Angi Boldt he pays her “so much money in child support” I think a tax credit is the least she could do.

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So that depends on you if you want to or not by law no you don’t have to and if that is how it was set up then he had to of agreed to it somehow if he wants to modify the agreement or if you want to modify the agreement in court so that he does not pay the months the child is with him so be it. But no you are not obligated to pay him the child support given to you.

I would send it back
Because hè has the Child. But hè wouldnt have asked me I would have said this in my own to him

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Well duh? Why would you keep child support payments when the child isn’t with you? Of course you should give him child support for those months same way you expect it when you have the child.

Omg lol there’s nothing he can do…it’s up to him to provide when he has him doesn’t matter about child tax or who claims a child lol tell him no or I’d tell him ok im keeping said child or children n go back to court n see how he likes that new outcomes payment since summers won’t be off the books

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Now, being a pushover, I will say this. It is pretty well known that military families struggle financially. That being said, you know how much dad makes.

Do you NEED this money to pay your bills? If that answer is YES, keep it. If the answer is NO, then ask yourself this…will this money help dad provide a better more fun summer for the child? If the money makes a difference in the child sitting at dads all summer and doing nothing or very little because dad truly can’t afford it, then I would seriously consider sending money so that the child has a better summer. There are probably a whole lot of what if’s here. Good Luck!

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There’s a reason it comes out of the paycheck. He failed to pay for so many months. Keep the month it’s yours

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I Would not even let him claim child as IRS goes off where child lives more than 6 months out of the year
I surly would not even give him money back ! If, he thinks he deserves it tell him to go back to court and have them stop it for those months but I promise they wont hense why he wants you to give it back after you recieve it ! :woman_shrugging:

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It depends on how much he pays a month to me. 100 bucks? No. 300 bucks? Yes he should get it back

Whatever is set up in court that’s what you should do. Just because he’s visiting Dad in the summer doesn’t mean you won’t need to keep house etc for him. I would keep it. Court would have stipulated that if you were required to do so.

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I’m not sure if it’s everywhere but in my state (Alabama) if you return any paid child support and the court hears about it - they can cancel the order to pay you. Idk that I’d risk it. Also, child support is to help with bills and whatnot…even if the child is spending a couple months with the other parent, the main parent still has to pay rent and utilities.

Edited to add: As far as the tax credit goes, rather than claiming your kid every other year, you should talk to the dad about splitting the credit every year 50/50 - that way you will both have a little extra cash during tax time.

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