Do I tell my friend or hold my tongue?

My friend is married and lives out of state....her husband works out of state and travels back and forth between states for work and home...

Well i saw her husband in his work state with another woman…My question is do i tell my friend or do i keep my nose out of it…???
Thank you in advance

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If she was my besty, I would tell her. As a general rule I stay out of it cause it just causes drama to you. Most likely he has cheated before and she took him back. There are always signs and some women choose to look the other way, But become embarrassed and lash at you when you bring it to light. I personally don’t believe in having a spouse have a job where he is gone more then home. You loose your intimacy and connection to the family unit. More times then not they cheat.
Honestly I probably would have been shady and took a picture… sent it to her and said, “girl I found tour husbands twin… it’s uncanny huh?” Lol
That way she can play it either way.
It’s her life at the end of the day.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do I tell my friend or hold my tongue?

Tell your friend. Cuz if it was your husband, I’m sure you’d want your friend to tell you.

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Agree with Angy Marie Pierce def tell your friend.

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Tread carefully but tell her

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Tell her. & what she does with the information is up to her.

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I’d go back and get proof. Make a plan on how I’d help and then tell her.

Tell, she maybe mad , she may not believe you. But its the right thing to do.

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I personally would tell my friend. Now whatver she chooses to do is on her, but if it was my situation I’d want my friend to tell me, least i know whatever she chooses she knows she can count on me to be honest with her… now she can take it and run with it however she’d want…

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You tell your friend, but stick by her with whatever she decides to do with that information.

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I would bring it up casually and see what her reaction is. :smirk:

Can you tell us more? What were husband and woman doing?

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Wouldn’t you want your friend to tell you??? TELL HER.

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Sing like a bird girl!!

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Tell your friend. Wouldn’t you want to know?

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Tell her honestly is more important…

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Tell. I would want and need to know

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YOU. TELL. HER. NOW.
If she’s really a friend you wouldn’t have to ask yourself that question… Pretty sure you would want to know if it was vice versa.

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Did you get a picture? Tell her, hopefully she believes you

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If you have no proof then I wouldn’t say anything.

Tell her! If it was her that saw your husband(bf) with another woman , would you want her to tell you??? She might get mad, so be prepared for that but in the end she should believe you.

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Tell her. A friend was cheating on her husband and I was friends with him first. I text and let him know he needed to show up at our work. And he caught her with the other guy. She was big mad at me for a while. But he didn’t deserve that. And I’m sure your friend doesn’t deserve it done to her.

I would tell my friend

You tell her, she’s your friend. You should have her back.

I would definitely tell her as you state she is your friend and when ever it was I would just day you were in shock to see it and didn’t know how to tell her but knew you had too

You’re in a lose-lose situation. Be prepared to lose a friend. He will tell her a story, she’ll believe it for awhile.

Tell her asap. I’ve been in this situation. I would rather know regardless. Let her deal with the rest but stick by your friend she’s gonna need the support

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Get proof and then tell/show her

You’re not her friend if you dont tell her, is my opinion. What she does with the information is her choice. What you do with it is yours, but honestly keeping information like that from your friend doesnt seem very friend like.

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Have evidence first. And what were they doing? Ask her first maybe she knows about this other lady who might be a colleague/ friend etc.

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Wait we are all assuming he was cheating she never said he was hugging her or kissing her how do we know it’s not a co worker it’s going to be her word against his but good luck

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I hope you took a picture so he can’t deny it and call you a liar.

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I would start with asking did (husband) have a meeting with a female while out of state…I would then say not sure if it’s anyting but I thought I would let you know I seen (husband) at x place with a female…I would then let it go and not mention it again and let wife take it as she will…

You’re not really her friend if you’re even asking this question. Tell her immediately. And you should have confronted her husband. It could have been a business meeting, I would have introduced myself to the woman as his wife’s best friend. That would have cleared up the situation immediately.

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If it was your husband would you want your friend to tell you?

Girl if she is any kind of friend to you… TELL HER! Would you want someone to keep information like that from you?

How can you look her in the face and not tell her :grimacing:

You sure they were together “like that”?? Could of been something to do with work??

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Tell her exactly what you saw. Not in an accusing way, unless you saw something that warrants it. She can go digging herself

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What were they doing? Could they work together? I mean people see me with other men all the time, like daily. I talk to them at gym, go to lunch with work peeps but thats all it is

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Wouldn’t you want to know if it was the other way around. Definitely tell her.

Ok so my question is how did u see him with the other woman? Were they holding hands? Acting intimate? Just eating a meal? What? Not enough info to cause issues in a marriage. Could be just a coworker. My friend saw my husband with a woman and lost it on him. Told me. I was like ur an Idiot. They are coworkers and she is my neighbor who is also married and the godmother to my kids lol

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If she truly a friend tell her already

I’d tell her. If it was me, and my husband was seen with another girl, I’d want told. And proof.

Girl if you my friend TELL ME

Tell her but be aware that she may get mad at u. I told my life long Friend I saw her man w another women in his truck . We had both come to stop signs access form each other. We bother ent straight I got a rely good look and for sure he had another women w him otw home . His house was literally right there. He was taking her home w him. When I told her she got mad at me almost like she didn’t believe it. Lol whatever we r friends now years later but that still bothers me. Still tho I know I did the right thing. She needs to know tell her. Remember the show jersey shore and the note the girls left their friend Sammi ab Ron cheating? Lol ended up Sam and the girls in a fist fight.

I can tell you through my own experience. My ex husband was cheating on me, everyone knew and never told me. I wished that someone would have told me.

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Me personally I would tell her. She could talk to her husband and figure it out.

Was it a work colleague or was it a romantic type thing?? It could have been to work colleagues together.

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That depends on what you saw him doing with the other woman.

Tell her!!! If it was innocent or work related, she should already know. If not, she needs to know.

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If youre a true friend youd let her know so she can stop wasting her time on the loser!

First, I would’ve stopped the woman and sparked a conversation. Don’t mention he’s married. Something like, “Hey, who’s the cute guy you were just talking to? Looks like he really likes you!” See what she says. If she confirms your suspicions and says that they are together, tell your friend. Only ask questions because it could be a co-worker and they could be simply talking business.

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My opinion, before you go telling your friend you should make sure you have your facts right. Did you see her husband and the lady holding hands, hugging or show affection towards each other or were they just hanging out, talking etc. Men and women are able to be friends without any hookups. You know what you saw base your decision on that. Make sure you are sure before you can possibly ruin someone’s relationship and a friendship.

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Yes bring it up to her, but maybe in a way like, “hey I saw your hubby the other day but didn’t say hello as I didn’t know if the person he was with was a colleague or work meeting or something”. She will either know what’s up or she won’t, either way she is able to figure it out and you aren’t the one making assumptions in case you are wrong.

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I would obviously be hurt and done if my husband was cheating on me, but to me it would be a double whammy if he was cheating, my friend knew about it and didn’t tell me. If it was me, I would want to know. If my husband cheats he knows we are done. If he cheats, my friend knows and says nothing…when it comes to light I’m losing my husband and my friend. Just my thoughts. Best wishes!

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If you were that concerned about his behavior then you would have went over to speak with him. Which would have forced an introduction to this mysterious woman and Giving him the opportunity to keep you from stirring the pot with his spouse. In my opinion, leave it alone. You had your moment and declined.

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I wish someone had told me. I would just casually mention I saw him at such n such a place, but we didn’t get a chance to say hello. Let her read the clues

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Bring it up in a nonchalant way - “BTW happened to see your husband when I was out, but I didn’t want to go out of my way to say hi or bother him because he must have been with a coworker.” Something like that - it could have been entirely innocent on his end, but at least she can ask him about it if she feels compelled to know more and it’s not an accusation coming from your end.

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If you were my friend, you better tell me. Even if it’s just a coworker. I’d rather be told and it be nothing than not be told and it was something. :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Pictures speak louder than words!

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I would wanty friend to tell me

Girl tell your friend, she’ll be more hurt if she finds out you knew and didn’t say anything

I’d be like… I saw him out. Then casually say it must have been some time of business meeting or something because there was a woman with him… so I didn’t say hey because I didn’t want to interrupt.

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Really not enough information about it. What type of friend just says I seen him with a woman. I mean was they doing something inappropriate or you just seen a female around.

Depends on what type of friends y’all are and what type of friend she is honestly.

Wouldn’t you want to know? Tell her

Your what??? Cause it sure isn’t your friend…
A friend you would tell in a heart beat

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My husband travels for work. I would like to know if he’s spending his time with another woman while I hold the house down.
I would be super upset if I knew my friend knew something and didn’t tell me.

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You better tell your friend what if he’s out there catching STDs and coming back and giving it to her and then she has to suffer through something… If you see something say something.

Real friends don’t keep stuff like that you need to tell your friend never keep your mouth shut about that stuff

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Keep your nose out of it.

don’t break girl code tell her

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fuck that im telling … thats my girl … and her man is triflin … we dont have time for that nonsense

Tell It And After That Leave It Alone

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I would mention it! I lost a friend over not telling her.

What do you mean you saw him with another woman? We’re they just having a meal or hanging on each other? My husband travels often for work (he’s in the military) and he’s often had meals with female coworkers when out of town.

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Don’t just tell her but show her proof so there’s no doubts! You wouldn’t want her keeping that info from you not to mention what he can carry back to her… STDs, COVID-19!

If neither lives in her state how did she see him

See… I’m that friend that some hate because I’m the one who if I seen something, they’re going to know I seen it. I know what it’s like to be cheated on and it’s sad when you’re hanging with your “friends” on Friday night and then he’s cheating with the same group of “friends” on Saturday night. Not one person said a thing until one whose conscience was bothering him. So, yeah… if your man is with another woman, I’m not hiding in the background, I’m coming front stage and let you know I seen you by speaking to you. Then, it’s your choice… you tell it or I am :woman_shrugging:

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If you want her to always be your friend you better tell her. Because once she finds out and know that you have known it will all be over!

If u would want to know I would tell her. If u wouldn’t then no

Well first id be explainin to my friend why her husband had an emergency dentist appt cuz he jus swallowed a few of his teeth.Then id take my friend out for food n drinks !!!

I would get solid proof and then tell her

Are you the other woman? Kinda of an odd coincidence :thinking:

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My advice: tell her!!

My ex best friend was cheating on her husband at the time with their neighbour… this was 2-3 years ago now and I still regret not telling him.

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Tell her then go all detective FBI on his ass and find out what you can and who she is :sweat_smile:

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Tell her! but it could be innocent :woman_shrugging:

Take a pic and show her. Don’t give him a chance to call you a liar.

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Yes. You would want to know. She would too. If it was innocent then she already will know or conversation about it will be fine.
But tell her.

I’ve been in this situation. And in my case I told him. But in the end she talked her way out of it and he believed her.
This was my sister in law. We never spoke again. And they stayed together.

Send a picture of her husband with the other women, let her confront him. That way he doesn’t twist it and make you the bad person.

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If its 100% fact that he is Messing ur friend around… then u confront him and tell him to come clean or u will tell her urself…

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MYOB. No matter what it will not end well for you. Either she leaves him or she doesn’t. But she will always blame you for telling her.

Tell her ! Wouldn’t you want someone to tell you !

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The woman could be anyone… unless you saw them kissing or something I wouldn’t bother.

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If it was obvious they were being more than friends You ain’t a friend if you don’t tell her :woman_shrugging:

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She’s your friend……why wouldn’t you tell her ?

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I’d tell her because everything always comes out EVENTUALLY, he may say to her " your friend saw us out together ECTECT, HER: WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME!??