If he didn’t change the first three times he tried to cheat on you what makes you think he’ll ever do it? Leave him because he will never stop. Is this really how you want to spend the rest of your life?
Its been 10 years…he isnt changing🙄
You can lose trust and still forgive him for what he’s done. If you choose to forgive him that means you do not bring it up or “rub it in” (what you’ve forgiven). But, you can’t trust him. He needs to be okay with the fact that you need reassured because of his past actions. If he is not okay with that but expects you to be okay with cheating or trying to cheat on you, then, you need to start planning to leave him.
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They will change for the person they want to be better for. I’m sorry, but if he hadn’t changed you’re not the person he wants. It was the same way with my ex husband. There are much better men out there, don’t waste your time on that one.
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People change only if they want to, for themselves.
So here is the thing. People can change. Only of they want to. In my opinion, you chose to take him back so you should not use his past against him. The problem with ‘let’s clean slate and start over’ is people don’t actually clean slate and start over. Your feelings are valid and if you cannot move in from what happened then you need to leave. You made the choice to take him back. You cannot keep bringing up the past. You have every right to change your mind and move on. The other side of the coin is that it looks like it is still happening. Itd be one thing if he cold turkey stopped. Sounds like he doesn’t want a relationship with these people but likes the pursuit of them because he knows he is married and it is forbidden. Which is a dangerous addiction to have especially when money and kids are involved. I am not here to tell you how to live your life but, think of your children and what YOU are putting them through because YOU are miserable. Those children are your priority and if he isn’t prioritizing them? He needs to get gone. Your KIDS deserve BETTER from BOTH of you.
Well it’s been over 10 yrs, has he changed for the better in those 10 yrs? 
I think not. I wasted 11 yrs in the same scenario but worse, we didn’t even live together or have kids… YOU AND I ARE BOTH FOOLS! Not for their behavior, but for not choosing better for ourselves. I finally left and looking back, I regret the years I wasted on him. The initial break up was hard, but after the idiot fog lifted off me, I was like why the hell did I accept less than I deserve for so long? I’ll NEVER get those years back. 
Glad I finally found someone who loves me and invests his time in ONLY ME!
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10 years of consistent disrespect and cheating ? He even had the balls to do it on a phone y’all SHARED ? The man knows you are insecure and will forgive him he doesn’t mean a damn thing he says when he’s apologizing to you. And you are not in the wrong for feeling the way you do and it isn’t too late to tell him you’ve thought it over and you can no longer live with the constant worrying. He could be cheating NOW the man has had 10 years to correct his way of cheating and find new ways. Leave now ! If not for you then for YOUR kids they don’t deserve to see mommy getting constantly hurt.
A decade is more than enough time to get on the ball homegirl, dump that scrub.
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Girl you need to leave. Take his ass to court get child support and alimony since he has all this extra money. And get a job and do you
You choose to live with that bs. Be happy with it or leave.
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It’s obvious he’s not going to change. He knows you will forgive him.
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He’ll change for the next person when he loses you. He won’t change with you. And your feelings won’t go away unfortunately. There will always be that doubt. And everything you’re feeling is valid. It’s hard to leave sometimes but this man has no regard for you or respects you. You have to respect yourself and find the courage to leave. Good luck 
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Way too much shade has happened. He harbors zero respect for you. Tough pill to swallow knowing you’re just a roommate to him in front of other females he’s interested in. YOUR mental health is worth more. Your children deserve a happy mom and stable role models. 
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I’ve always said the one that forgives has the hardest job.
Sounds like you should accept that you’re in an open relationship. Or leave bc he wont change and you deserve so much better.
Can of doubt he will stop cause he knows you won’t leave him prayers for you that things get better 
His behaviors and actions seem pretty consistent and he blatantly is disrespecting you. You have every right to have trust issues but honey why do you want to live your life like that alway wondering if he’s out doing what he is doing… always wondering if you are good enough for him, that you measure up, or if he is thinking about hooking up with that beautiful woman that just walked past you both. I know you have kids and you have a long history but where do you draw the line between loving someone and loving yourself? You stayed with him so you basically told him it’s okay if you disrespect me and treat me like shit. You have no boundaries and you need to set them love is not enough. You are worthy of great love and respect. If you cannot get over what he has done then you need to move on which I would highly advise you do anyways so you can live a happy and healthy life
People don’t change unless they want to, hunny. And that’s rare! Don’t waste your life waiting.
Once a cheater always a cheater!!!
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Girl I would have left already
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People don’t change. He is a lying, cheating, sorry excuse of a male. Always forgive, never forget. It would be better to forgive from a distance.
I swear, y’all accept the most ridiculous disrespect and act confused when we tell you to go.
What do you love? How does your life inporve with him acting like this? He’s out here lying in you and you don’t know Wtf to do?
Girl, find your spine and go.
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Once a cheat always a cheat
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In my opinion if you’re going to forgive him and keep taking him back, you should let it go. Obviously he’s not going to change he’s getting better at it.
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Leave, once a cheater you know the rest
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Go ahead and get a job .
Start doing for you & your kid’s.
Make a plan in case he moves on or you put yourself first & move on with your life without all his lies.
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So sorry this happened to you … you arent from canada are you ? My fiance knows this guy who delivered and would brag about his “side piece” she worked at a gas station on his route. He lived in canada but worked in western ny … if so … p m me … i was disgusted by this. Im an advocate for women and this woman has every right to know her husband is a dirt bag.
Spend more time looking for a job than on social media telling your bizness 
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Honestly he sees that you have forgiven him so many times and have put up with that behavior that it’s become second nature to him and is thought of as being okay since he has got away with it so many times and you just let it slide. Now if you would have went and filed for divorce or left or something like that then he would have probably took it a little bit more serious, but he knows that you are a pushover whenever it comes to stuff like that. He will continue to do it untill I make the choice to do something and actually leave for good or divorce him and take the kids. You have plenty enough proof saying that he’s cheated over the years you need to keep that proof so that whenever you go and file for divorce you have that in court that he cheated while you all was married. You also need screenshots and proof to print out of where the girls admitted that he is texting them wanting to meet up with them and sleep together. If he’s got extra money to be spending on other women then you need to find a way to start putting back a little extra money or making some money of your own even if you go and donate plasma a couple times a month and hide that money away. Just tell him you have doctor’s appointments and that they took blood. Simple excuses just like he makes and be able to stick money back so you can get away. Learn from this and move forward in the future to never become reliant on a man or financially reliant upon a man. I know you become complacent after so many years being together and thinking that you can’t live without him or that you don’t want to, but u can. He is obviously showing you that he wants to live without you and be with someone else. That’s just my two cents on what I have leant. Together 19 years and married 13 of those years. Been with him since I was 15 years old and had her first kid at 16 and have a total of three boys together. I was a stay-at-home mom as well. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. think smart move forward. I wish u luck
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They do NOT change! My ex was the same before me and after me. Sometimes we think we can change them or that the “love” they say they have for us will change them but it doesn’t. It’s time to move on, I know it’s hard but trust me you won’t be happy till you do.
I think you already know the answer! If you keep giving second chances and he doesn’t change, boy by!! Men will treat you the way you allow. You know you deserve better, good luck!!
When someone shows you their true colors, believe them! 
This is going to sound harsh 
but I’m a say it anyway, you’re in-house vagina, I grew up around enough uncles and brothers to know this off top!! You’re convenient to him 
and when he finds another you, he’ll be changing the locks
He’s going to keep doing it bc you’ve forgiven him so many times before
It won’t change
Get a job and start doing whatever needs to be done to take care of you and your kids alone
He’s going to do sneaky shit always. If you want to stay is on you.
What you allow will continue.
You haven’t left. He knows you won’t leave. Why would he change?
Truth is …if you keep forgiving this behavior. He knows there aren’t any consequences which means he won’t change because you have shown him already that you accepted it and forgave him (several times) Even though deep inside you don’t! To him it’s different. I wish you the best but you should get yourself out of that situation . Your the one who will always be hurting in the end.
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You can forgive, but you can also never forget. But he doesn’t get to dictate your forgiveness and especially without changed behavior on his part and the work it takes to build the trust back. It doesn’t work like that. Yes people can change, but usually only do so out of necessity and/or personal growth. However, he hasn’t changed anything except his lies, tactics, and games. You either accept this and let him cheat in peace and continue to jeopardize and put your health at risk and stop complaining about it, because you know exactly who and what he is, or you leave and be done because you love yourself more than accepting crumbs of effort and lies and him putting your health at risk.
My advice is leave, get tested, and never look back, because he’s shown you more than once who he is and that he’s not going to change. Don’t you think you deserve better, that you deserve someone you can trust, someone who loves, respects, and cares about you? He sure doesn’t. He’s not even sorry he hurt you and created snd caused all these trust issues. He’s only sorry he got caught. Leave. Do better.
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No they don’t change, you’ve seen the evidence. Just leave.
Don’t continue being a VOLUNTEER VICTIM!
Pick a side and stand on it. but he’s not gonna change if you just being his doormat! ALL THESE women telling you he said the same things to them about you, his wife? Hard choices need to be made that only you can make… YOU CAN DO IT!!
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How many times does he have to prove it to you that he will cheat? This guy is a serial cheater. No. He’s not going to change. He’s going to cheat every opportunity that he can. You have every right to not trust him. If you are checking his phone, he will delete. If you are checking your phone bill, he will get a secret phone that he leaves at work. He will always find another way.
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I’m sorry this happened to you and he has no right to do that to you if he’s unhappy he should just leave. Personally once is too many but been there done that and forgave and never happened again. He had been treated so badly so many times he thought I’d be the same but that’s def not the case. Men can change now that’s if they want to for you. I’ve seen them change for other women but he can if he truely wants to and wants you. Best of luck xoxo
Get away from that mess!
How many times does he have to cheat on you beofore you get the hint that hes never going to
Stop?
Ppl can change absolutely but only if they want to. Ur not changing him. Ur man will only do to u what u ALLOW him to do. So no he’ll never change.
I am sorry you’re going through that and unfortunately yes people can change but the hard part is accepting that THEY have to want to… it’s NOT your fault & you can’t do anything to make him stop & believing his “in the moment sweet words” will not get you anywhere. He has no respect for you or your relationship and will continue to do this, the only way it will stop is if you leave I know that can be a terrifying thought BUT I promise you it will get better and you will be happier in the end when you find your voice and stop tolerating less then you deserve.
Dump n is butt once a cheat always a cheat
Nope HE ISN’T going to change I’m so sorry to tell you this. It’s all up to you. You need to decide when have had enough.
This is his pattern. You get to decide if and how long you want to participate in this but what you allow is what will continue. His apologies are going to stay empty. He’s going to always have your brain wondering… checking… can you live like that? I couldn’t. I deserve love that I don’t question like that.
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Never too late to leave! Ask yourself a simple question: “do I want to live like this for the rest of my life?” If the answer is no then as hard as it will be right now you need to leave.
Honestly at this point, if you’re not gonna leave, you might as well have an open relationship.
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Ah, a serial cheater. I’ve had a couple exes that were that way. He’s never going to stop no matter what you say or do. It may be hard, but leave now so he doesn’t cause you anymore heartache. If you stick around, it’s just going to keep happening & you don’t want him to bring home an STD.
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People change when they want to change and clearly he doesn’t want to, he has no reason to. It’s time you love yourself and your kids more than him and start a new life without him.
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U set the tone for how u are treated. By forgiving him EVERY-TIME U ARE TELLING HIM ITS FINE TO DO THIS TO ME. This has become acceptable. He’s even doing it on a phone that you share with him!!! I’m willing to bet money there are so many more females that u don’t know about. Females that have turned him down. Believe nothing u hear and only half of what u see with ur own eyes. Meaning u haven’t caught him every single time. 
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They change but to late. Sorry. Don’t let him use you. You could get a STD and you would be hurt for life.
I stopped reading about 1/4 of the way down.
He acts like he does because you allow it. This man doesn’t love you. He doesn’t respect you. You’re routine for him. He knows he can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants and all he has to do when you find out is apologizing.
I would suggest getting a job, saving your money, getting any and all community assistance that you can, file for custody and child support and tell him to kick rocks.
Either that or settle for the life you’re currently living, because after 10 years and all that BS, he will never change.
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Leave that man! Leave him. I know being alone feels like a feat but you will overcome! He is ruining you mentally! LEAVE THAT MAN!
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He has proven himself. In the beginning to make a mistake is one thing and once forgiven making the changes necessary. He has proven to not respect you or your relationship and will just continue. You will never feel better or learn your worth staying with a loser like him.
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He will not change. This is definitely a pattern for him and he doesn’t want to change.
Honey this is never going to stop unless YOU put a stop to it. Get out now because you deserve so much better and he will NEVER change. He has no respect for you. His WIFE.
Girl, this is way too much cheating! Value you and your child’s happiness more than his! It may not be affecting the child now but it will and your child will think it’s okay to cheat because you allow it! He’s shown he is a cheater numerous times. One time okay forgive him. Second time nooooo. Sorry no strike three because the third time is on YOU for allowing it! Make a plan and get out. If I can do it on my own with three kids in Northern Virginia (it’s stupid expensive there) you can do it. You can do it!
Nothing changes unless YOU take a step to change things. Otherwise everything will remain the same and you are telling him (repeatedly) that it’s okay to cheat. Value yourself more Momma!!!
Maybe give him a taste of his own medicine. Show him other guys might want you too.
No he isn’t going to change. He keeps repeating the same pattern. He assumes he is going to always be forgiven. Love yourself more and break free from the headache he is bringing you. You are stronger than you realize and deserve so much more than a cheater and broken promises. Your kids deserve to see you happy. Good luck.
He will never change. He is just talking to 
who know nothing about you now. Leave him or learn to love being cheated on and disrespected.
They never change. Stop allowing a man to prove to you MORE THAN ONCE that he doesn’t respect or value you.
People can change… But, these kinds of behaviors rarely change in the long run. You are not the issue - he is.
You do not have trust issues … you have trusted him too many times. You need to let him go.
Face it, (I’m sorry to say this) but, he’s just not in to you or he would not be wandering.
You deserve better -I’ve been there and wasted far too much of my time + energy hoping to make it work.
<3 I’m sorry you’re going though this -
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He has shown you he has not changed. He has a problem with commitment. Move on dont waste 20 more years.
Nope people do not change without a lot of therapy and with the right circumstances and person in their life and you certainly can not change them for your own gain
You have tied yourself to a pole of constant beating like tether ball round and round you get smacked no matter which way you go you get hit upside your head on one side by the guy then after he smacks ya on the other side of the pole the mistress smacks ya
You deserve what you are getting
But your kids do not deserve a stressed out mommy this will stay with them forever and rule their decisions and relationships they have in their lives one day
Leave this dude and never feel sorry for him
Don’t look back
just kidding, I’m sorry this is happening to you but he will probably not change. Every chance he gets he will stray and just say sorry later. You’re probably better off letting go and moving on.
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Honey you poor thing it’s easy to stay and so so hard to leave but you’ll never be able to trust him again in most cases once a cheater always a cheater
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I go by this saying “Once a cheater always a cheater”. You should of went on your own path when you had the chance to.
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Anyone is capable of change. It’s alot of hard work on yourself that must be done and must be done willingly and openly. Doesn’t sound like he’s their yet, and he may never be. I’ve forgiven and been forgiven alot in the 13 yrs I’ve been with my SO, but we never forget, that would be foolish on both of our sides.
Your feelings of betrayal and losing trust are 100 percent valid. You need to make some hard decisions. Leaving will be hard but so will staying. Think about it this way, would you want your daughter to see that it’s okay to be treated this way or your son to see it’s okay to treat women this way? Kids learn by what they see. Make a hard decision not just for you but for your kids. Good luck sister💗
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I will never trust someone that can come home to me and our children and lie to my face about cheating. You’ve already gave him enough and he didn’t stop after the first time. What has he done to earn that trust that he broke back? Has he gone to therapy? Things like that just don’t go away, especially if he doesn’t “know” why he’s doing it. How can you trust someone that has no problem lying to you?
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He is not going to change. You have already made it clear to him he doesn’t have to. And throwing your distrust in your face is just gaslighting you and trying to make you feel crazy so it’s easier for him to get away with. You need to leave him and start looking for a job and a way to support yourself and your kids. You can’t rely on him. The longer you do the longer he can hold it over your head and do what he wants. And when you are on your feet and happy with yourself, then worry about moving on and finding someone else who values and respects you.
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Throw his arse to the trash
I think people can change. But they don’t change if they aren’t ever held accountable. And they won’t change for someone they don’t want to change for.
Also, you and your children deserve better than this. 10 years is a long time to devote your life to someone who hasn’t done the same in return it seems the whole time.
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He’s a narcissist and is unlikely Capable of validating You or your children. Every parade is his. I’m so sorry you’re living this way. Find a way out.
Um, I would have left him after I read your first sentence! This is ridiculous! You deserve so much more. There is so much more to life than texting girls that he is cheating on you with. Better yourself and get away!
Have some self respect and walk away with what dignity you have left. Like the saying goes, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. People CAN change… when they truly WANT to. Clearly, he doesn’t want to change otherwise he would have recognized what he did the first time by risking his marriage and family with you and cheating and would have changed immediately. What caught me off guard with your words were, “he bought her lunch and gave her money which he hadn’t done for me in 10 years.” Who cares what he did!! It’s the fact that he even did it. That alone should make you run away. 
Walk. The. Hell. Away
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I’m so sorry to hear this… It’s heartbreaking to see these posts honestly! Please leave…I know it’s so hard but you don’t deserve that… you deserve to have a husband that makes you feel safe, loved, appreciated, beautiful even on your worst days, secure and like he’d course you over anyone without a doubt!! They’re supposed to be your safe place, where you lay down at night and all you feel is peace and comfort knowing that when all else fails you have him… I don’t understand why people are laughing at this… Someone is hurting and people find it amusing??! Anyway… You deserve better… Being on your own is better than constantly having to wonder or worry… That’s so stressful and you don’t deserve it!
Just read what you wrote back to yourself and you’ll find your answer…
Hun stop listening to empty words and start paying attention to the actions. His actions haven’t shown you he’s trying to change. His actions show he got caught and moved on to someone else when you calmed down. In my experience if they truly feel bad and want to make things right they will put the effort in to make it happen. If they don’t put that effort in they don’t want the change and it’s gonna be empty lies and promises. Now as for your trust issue it will take BOTH of you working on it to overcome. Do you see him working on that issue because from what you have said I just don’t see it. My kids father cheated on me both pregnancies and i felt like you and stayed. The day I decided enough was enough was the worst and best day of my life. I broke my own heart and destroyed my family but at the same time I had so much worry and stress from our relationship taken off my shoulders. I didn’t have to worry about what or who he was doing or the fights or any of that. After a couple pity me days I got back up and started making a life for me and my kids. I ended up enjoying my life so much more not having all that on me everyday. The sun shined a little brighter each day. 9 years later I’m fully stable and have a true partner that would never do that to me.
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I am so sorry to say it but he wont change, love. Before you know it it will be 10 more years down the road and now you will have been putting up with his shit for 20 years.
Leave. Stay friends. Co parent and communicate for your kids sake. But u totally deserve better.
GOOD LUCK
He obviously isn’t going to change and I am so sorry for you. You deserve better. I hope you leave him,and build your own self esteem so high that you know you deserve better.someone with more love for you.I believe if he loved you he couldn’t continue hurting you the way he was. He is a very selfish person,only cares about hisself. I wish for you a partner who is faithful and honest,you deserve that.
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These are just the ones you know about….
wow why would you want him?
He’s going to continue doing what you allow him to do.
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He moved in with you six years ago?? So it was your place And he moved into it?? So who pays the bills then. Sounds like he does now but either way gwt out. Go to a shelter get in a program. Something. Anything. No he won’t change and I’m so sorry thay you feel you love him enough that you would stay and put up with this. Nice of the girl to tell you and let you know. But imo she should have put a stop to it as well. Sounds like she let him buy and bring her lunch. That’s disgusting on both parts on so many levels. Decide if you believe you deserve better than this. Cause you do. But you won’t get better or get out until you know and believe your worth and what you deserve. Honestly this post is heartbreaking. You need genuine unconditional love go find it girl❤️
Get a job if you don’t have one, go back to school, or both. Save money and leave him. Wow 
He has shown you how he will treat you. After 10 years of the something it should be apparent he’s going to do what he wants when he wants and you need to leave because you deserve better. There’ll be a time of attachment withdrawal, it could be a few weeks or it could be several months that you’ll go through the withdrawal. But the point is that you take the step and leave and get through the withdrawal. You can do it, just slow and steady steps! I was with mine for 11 years, 4 kids and went through the attachment withdrawals. I have no regrets and am happy I made that decision when I did. Good luck!
He’s just using you. He’s found out what he can get away with and he’s pushing the boundaries. Leave him. He will just keep doing the same thing.
Of course you have trust issues… caused by this cheating bozo! You need to get independent, just figure it out, and leave this guy. He has proven to you over and over and over again that NO, HE WILL NOT CHANGE.
Once a cheater always a cheater. Duh, no he won’t change.
Get a Job and stand on your own two feet. Take care of yourself children and show him if he keeps finding new women to entertain himself with your moving on with the children.
He’s a piece of shit. He’s literally harassing other women, while he’s married with kids. Leaving is scary, but you can do it. I was alone for a long time with my kids. I had to get child care assistance, and live in low income housing for awhile. But it gets better. I even eventually met a great guy, and got married to someone who treats me like a queen. It’s tough for awhile, but I got out 17 years ago, and it was the best thing for me, and for my kids.
considering he has done this throughout the time you guys have been together , you should leave him … continue to stay and if you have a daughter with him … your showing her that’s what men do … they cheat and you just stay around , put up with it and get hurt … if you leave ( which is the right thing to do ) your showing that you won’t put up with it and that you deserve better … and same thing for your son’s … your showing them that’s what they are supposed to do
What would you tell your children if they were being treated this way
Start trying to figure out a way to leave. You know your situation sucks. Well stay quite a figure out a way to get out!
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