Talk to him. Not Facebook.
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Drop him like a hot potato!
He is likely pulling back because you are just pressing forward with the way things are “supposed” to be… you’re feeling like you should have these things already and honestly that is the worst possible way to feel… because to him you start to look “entitled” which is a turn off and of course it leaves you with all these feelings of why is t he doing xy&z and should I leave him and so on… do some things to bring YOUR spirits up… take some time just for you… do your hair and make up, do a photo shoot, paint, pick up a flute, read a book, have coffee with a friend, reupholster your 1985 camaro… whatever it is that you love, do it and keep doing it… give everything time and effort… you will be fine and your family will be fine… I’ve seen so many women ruin their futures because they can’t just take a minute to be who they are and be ok… a man does not stay with you for years of his life and have a child with you just to walk away… ask yourself what you are offering besides the machine work of running a household… while it is important to maintain your home and family the only person that gets upset about doing it or not doing it is the person that does it… you will get the same reaction from him at this point if you wash the dishes or do not… you can not control his feelings or actions but you can control your own… don’t do things that you do not honestly want to do… clean your home because you want to live in a clean home, not because you want him to notice your effort… this will prevent the disappointment when he doesn’t notice… if your bringing emotional strain to the table he will continue to push away until he’s gone… there are women out there who will tell you that this is bullshit and give him an ultimatum and demand marriage and so on… ask those women how long they’ve been married now and how wonderful their life has been since they decided that their man needed to “step up or step on”
Simple answer. Just ask him
Dump him he is a LOSER
Ask him!! Tell him how you feel.
run like the wind while you still have the chance. This man is worthless. And demand child support.,
Get ur focus off him enjoy urself get happy live 
then see how ye fit 
Ask him these questions
Drop him like a hot coal!
I think you can do better.
Just ask him. If he wants out tell him bye
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Communication is your answer.
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Talk with him about it…
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The question is do YOU want to marry him/that? Love yourself…
talk to him if he doesnt change y k ow what u need to do
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Listen, I know after you invest time in a man you not looking to cut him off when he screws up because all the time you spent with him but ask yourself how much more time do you want to give to him knowing he isnt doing what he should be. It’s better to start over than continue on a path to nowhere.
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My father has been with the same woman for over 20 years and they just got married. I have no idea why he waited so long him and his wife have a good healthy relationship there was never any breaks and he raised her daughter like his own and they always did everything as a family. He didn’t sit up and live off of her and she didn’t live off of him. They both worked and owned a home together.
If he is not showing love to you now, what do you think he will do after Marriage. I see red flags. Pray about it. Go with your gut feelings honey. After eight years???
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Why would he marry you after all this time? If he wanted marriage he would have done it a long time ago. I feel really sorry for the ladies who put themselves in this position.
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Why would you want to marry someone that cant appreciate you now or add happiness to your life. Marriage will not change the behavior.
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Have a talk with him and tell him exactly how you feel. Tell him about the things you want in life. If he doesn’t want the same things or he doesn’t want to change then I would move on. Find someone who shows their love and affection. Someone who can’t wait to marry you. Never settle you only live one life.
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Lol why would you want to marry someone like that anyway??
Girl no…get yourself a job and start making steps to be able to support yourself.
Talk to him about your feelings. About with it, I guesss
Always trust your gut.
Marriage would not even be on the radar; let’s address the elephant in the room and get down to the core issue in the relationship; addressing concerns and communicating is the best way to find out if there is anything left to save.
Spend some time together. Try to find a sitter so the both of you can just enjoy some time together. Then open up about how to you feel and give him a chance to share how he feels too. Take it from there.
Look nobody on here knows your relationship. So unless you have spoken to him about the problems youre having you shouldnt take anyones advice on here unless its to talk to him about what your feelings. He could be extremely stressed out right now since youre on maternity leave and hes been feeling the stress since you toldbhim you were pregnant. All these people telling you to just leave him havent ever worked through problems in their relatio ships like they should have and they are trying to get you to make the same choices they did. Unless you talk to him then you wont have a clue whats actually going on. And without both sides nobody can actually give you good advice on what to do. So instead of involving everyone else in your paranoid thoughts making them worse you should speak to the person a tually involved in the relationship with you.
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At 13 months post partum you may very well still be a little crazy and paranoid, I know I was. Sit and down and have a chat with him, make your feelings known. He may not be showing interest based on the moods you’re giving off and you don’t even realize it. As mommies we are so exhausted and emotional. Also depending on what type of schedule you have for your little one, it could also make things hard. Don’t throw in the towel just yet, becoming parents changes EVERYTHING. Its up to you two to grow with the relationship and figure out how you can adjust to the new needs of the family. Good luck!
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move on before you get any oder
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You should confront him about it dialogue amongst couples is paramount. Bottling up your feelings can lead to disaster in the future
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If you are asking this you Already know the answer. You don’t need valadation
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Take it of Facebook and just to him
Best thing to do is ask. Better to know so can plan for a different future if necessary
Personally I’m really disappointed in so many of these answers, it just seems people want to give up so easily after all you’ve been through… No one knows the ins and outs of your relationship only you. It is only natural that in the mundane of every day that a partnership can lose some of its spark or excitement. I think particularly the point you are at in your life with a wee child as well is hard for a mother to remain “sexy” to yourself first and foremost (we are our own worst enemies on that front I think) & you are probably over thinking every little aspect of your relationship. It is just so much easier to up and walk away but I think if you love him & you have a child together it’s worth fighting for. Men can be so complacent and he probably needs a nudge in the right direction and reminded of what he’s got!
Take time & put it all down on paper, leave it out for him to read when he gets home from work and take time for yourself away from home with your wee boy, maybe just say you are spending the night to give him time to think about what he wants & what you mean to him considering you’ve devoted your life to him for 8 years, given him a beautiful son & haven’t had any commitment. Tell him how you feel and that you need more… That you don’t want to spend your life underappreciated if you are not what he wants.
Wishing you all the best of love going forward. I think it sounds like he’s just a typical man & doesn’t even really understand the extent of how you feel. Good luck x
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Wow no wonder relationships don’t last anymore almost all of you say to leave him, you don’t give up and leave after 8 years just because of a rough patch. I would say since you two are new parents (yes, still new at 13 months) you bearing all the household responsibilities and him all the financial responsibility he could just be stressed out and tired. Him not complimenting you could seriously just be a simple case of he’s a man and doesn’t notice or he doesn’t know it means that much to you. You’ve been together 8 years so I’m assuming he hasn’t always acted this way. Communication is everything in making a relationship work, talk to him and express your feelings and how they hurt you, set a reasonable time frame for his actions to change, then if he shows no interest or just doesn’t care then think about leaving him. Good luck
You can’t have a relationship without communication it’s him you should be talking to about it
Some men thinks just taking care of his family w/o showing or acting on words of love is love. Let him know you need2 be shown in compassion in love that he may feel 4 you, but you want 2 not only be with him, but carry his last name in matrimony
Honestly i think if he was gonna marry u he wld of done it by now. But before u make any decisions…you sld sit down together and tell him how u feel. Conversation is key!!
Why would you want to marry a person who treats you like this? You deserve someone who will appreciate and love you remember as your child gets older this will affect their life also
Communication is most important in a relationship. Talk to him, tell him how you feel. Ask questions how he feels. Honesty is the next important…
How about seeking professional help, insteading of putting this out there for the world to read. Sheesh
Don’t think he wants to get married, men want sex all the time, therefore he’s getting it somewhere else.
My sister was in the same situation, when she finally filed for divorce, he was relieved and signed those papers fast.
She started bootcamp and looks amazing, found a man who truly appreciates and loves her.
And they have sex all the time, AND she’s 55 .
So girl! What are you waiting for!
You deserve better!
Nope. Don’t think he will marry you
I would get rid of him if I were you he won’t.change
I’m sorry. Start making a plan to move forward.
Sounds like my ex and I wasted 25 years on him thinking he would change
Time to return the favor to your boyfriend. It is a 2 way street. Prayers for you and your family
TALK to him and if he is not willing to participate then you and your baby deserve better
Dump him
You can do better
Sounds like a real communication void. It’s hard to spit out what you’re feeling and sometimes it doesn’t come out the way it should. Be honest with that and open the door to communication from the heart. You may both be surprised at what you are both feeling but if you don’t find out, you can’t move on. Best of luck to you both.
Sit down talk ask him
Ask him to babysit when he asks tell him you swiped right and found a dinner companion so you are checking out your options and don’t play games. Actually find out how you handle a change ofvscene.
I heard something once about someone waiting forever for what they thought was their life partner to ask the question and putting their happiness on hold, when their REAL happiness is waiting for them around the corner. So, maybe, you should let the unhappy go, and let your true happy find you. Then you won’t have to wait 8 years
You and your child are better without him. Love and cherish yourself and your son It’s a great lesson for your son. He will become a better man.
It is best to leave things the way it should be. The truth is he would of said let’s get married. Word of advice even though he has children with you doesn’t mean he is not playing the field. To me he is and if he was a true man he would appreciate what he has. You both consider commonlaw by law. He doesn’t want to be tied down. Be strong and be first always for your kids.
You can’t make someone love you you can’t chase love as a woman you need to be secure that he loves you you need to be in the driver’s seat with a man who is crazy over you and want to build a marriage and happy family with you if you want a good life girl that start building one with someone you are sure wants to build one with you the Builder you’re with has made his intentions known to you and it’s a no get celibate noun so no more babies come into the world you start building a good life for yourself now
I married my wife after 8 years of living together but we both got saved and we did a year of celibacy before marriage looks like you’re already into that though but he’s a fool for not taking care of you and telling you what you mean to him so you may not mean anything to him
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Run don’t walk girl you’re not paranoid and I’ll be digging deeper sounds to me like he’s got somebody else I’ve been there done that I just want to be straight up with you! Trust me DON’T marry him!!
Try to find time to talk to him. About his plan for both of you and for the kid. His concept about family. There are men who arE not vocal and expressive but of course men love sex.
Not sure about the whole marriage thing but I would definitely talk it out. Inform him of your feelings and let him know what you need. If it is not said it may not be done, some guys are oblivious to it. They get comfortable in what we do for them and sit back for the ride thinking oh we have a kid this is how it’s supposed to be. If after you tell him what you expect of him in a relationship and if he can’t be bothered to make an effort then I’d leave but work out an amicable co parenting situation
They can change, absolutely, but you need to speak up and tell him what you need. Ask the tough questions , ie. do you still want to get married? Is he willing to do counceling? While it can be scary and sometimes it hurts to hear the truth, it is better to know it and be able to make decisions on that than the stories that we tell ourselves in our heads. Communication is SO important in any relationship. If he still doesn’t try and change after that, then you have your answer. You need to find someone that will love and appreciate you. Never shortchange your own worth and value. One sided love does not make a marriage work. Deep breath, go talk to him and get the answers you need to mend your heart. 
Hugs.
My heart goes out to you. Unfortunately I just got out of a 11 year relationship. Didn’t realize it was bad cause I loved him so much. I was a great gf always was by his side during any kind of hardship he endured. The moment he felt like it was hard or unhappy he up n left me for another when I needed him the most. Trust yr gut if he’s unloving n unaffectionate, it’s for a reason u need to find out what that reason is. Talk to him n find out if he even wants to make it work. Cause u can’t make it work with someone who doesn’t want it to 
You deserve better. Don’t even consider marrying him. Move out and move on.
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Run Fast Away from Him!! Don’t look back, the child isn’t going to make him treat you right.
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After 30 + years of marriage… found out when he wanted to come clean. He had screwed around on me the entire time… I was a trusting person… at times I suspected… but talked myself into it was my imagination… now… my whole life has been a lie !!! Beware !!!
Move on before u get pregnant again. People do not change unless they really want to. You deserve better and so does your child. Trust God and be courageous coming.
I think that’s a question you need to ask him. After eight years and a child together, it really is about time you solidified that. If he loves and wants to do right by you and your baby, the answer should be yes. But if the answer is no, it’s better to find out now than keep wasting years of your life waiting on a man who doesn’t ever plan to commit to you and your child. Your son needs and deserves a father who can demonstrate what it means to be a good man, dad and husband, and if he can’t get that from your boyfriend, then you should start looking elsewhere.
Marrying him will just make matters worse…he is not going to change and may even treat you worse if you tie the knot. I feel you need to get out of the relationship and move on.
Seek a good counselor. You sound very young without a real sense of yourself. Think of your child. Is this the kind of home you want for your child??
If you love him and he loves you marriage doesn’t really matter. My daughter had been with her man for 25 years. They have two children and are madly in love. She was only 15 and he 21 when they met.
No one can truly know what is in another’s mind or heart. Does seem you need a few honest heart-to- hearts with him. The old fashioned Pros versus Cons type of talks. He has to know that there are issues on your side, and no doubt his. IF it requires a separation so be it. YOUR priority ALWAYS has to be the children by BOTH of you. Then your priority is YOU.
Love is always the end game but if it isn’t truly going both ways it is not really love. So have those honest discussions, and if that isn’t followed immediately by actions, well there’s your answer. Some times the old “Mars verses Venus” principles run true. Words are great, but don’t ever mean anything if they are not followed by the actions.
In the meantime, protect yourself and your child. Have an alternative plan ready just incase the end comes quickly. (My Mom never understood any of this. She was not prepared for the finality of her marriage. Almost cost her her life. Thank God for my Grandparents and Uncle.)
Good Luck and May God Bless.
Run now, while you can. Went through this, so I can speak from experience. He is not going to change. Take your child, move on. So sorry.
The best thing to do is sit down and have a heart to heart talk with him.You have to be open with each other He can’t read your mind and you can’t read his so if you’re open and he is open then you will know where you stand and if you wanna continue this relationship
You may be caught in a comfort rut also. You’re unhappy but drastic changes can be hard. Think things through, set yourself up a support system, draw up a plan, then execute. You see, I’ve been there as well.
Honestly, do you want to marry someone that doesn’t ask how your day is, doesn’t appreciate what you do, doesn’t thank you for what you do, doesn’t show you affection or is repulsed by you and doesn’t have sex with you on the regular? If it’s happening now then it will continue when you are married. I was married for 5 years where this happened and it took everything out of me. People don’t change bc you want them to. Red flags happen and we can’t ignore them bc that’s what we use to make the changes. You deserve to be treated right all the time.
This doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship, get out now, it’s not going to get better. Once married your stuck… Do not continue this…
No, you’ve given him everything at this point, why would he pursue marriage at this point.
Talking about what’s bothering you, to a bunch of strangers isn’t going to let your partner know how you are feeling
TALK TO HIM
how else are you going to fix it. If he’s on the same page as you, things will work out.
No, I don’t think he wants to marry you. “Why buy the cow if you get the milk free?” It’s too bad women have such low levels of self-esteem, they give in to men, who are selfishly taking whatever they can get. However, fortunately for you, in many states, couples who have been together a certain number of years can be deemed “Common-law wives”, which is a protection for women who have been exploited in this way.
Try talking with him with how he makes you feel. Then if things remain the same separate from him as soon as you return to work and can leave this relationship.
Someone only changes if they want to and if they don’t change for you, they never will. It sounds like he is interested in someone else or he doesn’t want to be together and not sure how to say it. But the even bigger question is, if you don’t feel loved, appreciated or seen by your SO, why would you want to marry them…
Talk to him! Lay all the cards on the table. Don’t let your temper get away with you. Ask him what his plans are, Where if anywhere you fit into his plans. But first YOU need to decide IF you want to stay with this selfish person.
Reading a lot of negative comments here, how about a make point of view…
You have a man, who provides for you… Works hard for you everyday… Does he love the child, change diapers, play?
He could be overwhelmed and scared to get you pregnant as this would burden you both further.
If marriage is important to you then you must first…
Sit in his lap, obtain his full attention… tell him that you want to be married by a specific date… Be realistic let’s say 12 months.
Some men need the woman to be the instigator otherwise it ain’t gonna happen.
Remember,
Women’s brains are like computers that never shut down.
Men’s brains are like a chest of drawers, they can only be opened 1 at a time.
He has a whole drawer just for you but you are the one who has to open it. Why, because after being at work all day… he goes to the nothing drawer first to decompress, it is our favorite drawer…
Somehow, you gotta change that and it could take years… or just you sitting on his lap. 
I think after 8 years it’s highly unlikely marriage is ever going to happen. Plus he treats you badly. My opinion is if he is not having sex with you he is with someone! Walk away.
no i do not think he is ever going to ask you to marry him he has it made with out a piece of paper find a man that will love you and your children that want to make a life with you make sure you check him out first
If you leave him get his social security number so you can get child support. That’s the least he can do. With out that number you’ll never find him.
you do not deserve being ignored this way- get child support and leave
Crazy for staying with him. It’s abuse any way you look at it. Open your eyes Girl!! Get a good lawyer. Child support and Alimony. Yes Alimony.
I would talk openly, but sounds to me you deserve better…some men are jealous of the time you spend with babies, some use the chance to cheat…beware
Sorry but he’s cheating on you and sooner or later he’s going to leave. You deserve much better. Get out of this toxic relationship now. Focus on yourself and your child. Get a job and your self esteem back. You’ll be sad for a while but so much happier in the long run.
I did what you are going through - I married - I stayed for my sons, my grands - our sex life was great - but he never loved me - believe me you deserve to be loved.
Why marry you when you give everything free to him!!! Should of thought about that before you had a child with him…should of said no to sex until you marry me!!! I wouldn’t want to marry a man like that!!!
Get out now before you have another child. Why you have stayed so long mystifies me.
Truthfully… why you brought a baby into your relationship is beyond me. He is not a good man.
Dump him and think of yourself first. Your rationalizing how bad he treats you. He won’t change
Sounds like he only wants a maid cook and have babies no respect for you let him go you would probally be better on your own
Son is 13 mos old & she’s still on maternity leave! Of course he’s not going to marry her. Why he lives with her has a kid with her he has no need to marry her
Thank your lucky stars you haven’t said “I Do”. Either pack your bags and get the hell out while you can or pack his stuff and meet him at the door when he comes home tomorrow. It’s mind blowing to me that some women would stay in what they call a relationship like this. You deserve to be loved and treated with respect, please don’t settle for anything less.
Honey if he treats you this way now he won’t change… it’ll just get worse! Try talking to him and if you get nowhere in that conversation maybe leave? Take a break and see where that leads… if it’s meant to be it’ll happen but if not then you’ll know you deserve better