m looking for advice on what to do regarding my child’s father being in the room for the birth. We’re not together and haven’t been since I moved out 4 months ago. I left because I know that’s not an environment I want to raise a child in. Not that he’s a bad person but we’re not good together. He ultimately agreed and never tried to reconcile with me or check in about my pregnancy. However he has sent me messages saying he wants to be involved in his child’s life and sign the birth certificate or anything else needed for the baby. I think that’s great and I do believe he’ll be a good dad I don’t doubt that. My Problem is he wants to be in the room and I do not want him there at all especially since you can only have 1 person in the room these days I think my mother would be a better choice for me. I’m having a hard time telling if I’m being petty and emotional since the break up or if my feelings are valid. Has anybody had a similar experience? What did you do? Does he have a right to be there?
no one has the right to be in there except for you.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Does my childs father have a right to be in the delivery room?
You have the choice on who is in there. If you don’t want him or anyone it’s up to you!!
your mom in the room is best choice
Your feelings are valid. I would pick my mom over someone I’m not in a relationship with (and I did).
You get to choose. He has no say.
It’s up to you…… but he is the father and you don’t want to rob him of that…… it’s his child and birth is a great experience and in my opinion a man should see what a female endures for this child!!
Keep in mind, he IS the baby’s father! He’s not some friend. You and him may not be together, but he’s connected to you THROUGH his and your baby.
if you tell them you don’t want him in the room u have that option
If you think your mum is the best choice for you then you already have your answer
Your choice. Mom would be better. Birth is a very vulnerable state to be in, you want someone you’re 100% comfortable with.
He should be there over your mum that’s his baby too, imagine if this is his only chance to see his child born and your taking that from him.
Labour is not something that the child will need support through. They’ll have you. You need to feel comfortable with your support person, and the best bet is likely your mother.
I was the mom that got to go in and watch my daughter give birth…it literally was the best most incredible day of my personal life. Choose your mom
She deserves to be there for that moment.
I would def have ur mama… delivery is a time u really want the support from a loved one… I get him wanting to be there but if he hasn’t been supportive I’d pass on him. U only get to have that baby one time girl make sure it’s perfectly how u want it!!
Why would you start off coparenting already dictating his every move as a parent? It’s not about you! it’s about the baby!
You are going to be birthing a whole ass child, you need the person in there with you who is going to be the best support for you, if the best person for you is your mum then that’s who you have in there!
no one has the right to be in there except for you.
You need to go with the best support system for you. Have your mom .
This is ur choice. U pick who is gonna make u comfortable. Don’t let anyone make u feel bad for that.
I checked myself into the hospital as Jane doe when I gave birth so no one could call the hospital to get updates or know anything about my delivery.
I only allowed my two doulas and best friend in the room.
The choice of who is in the delivery room is yours.
You could compromise. You could tell him he could come to the hospital and sit in the waiting room, but if you want your mom in there with you, then that should be honored
Have your mom this experience Can be stressful emotionally draining an a by the ofd chance any medical emergency arises for you or the baby your mother is your next of kin I had a totally normal pregnancy I gave birth to my son and that was Major Medical complication has my mother not been there my son and I might not be like today and the bond that you will have with your mom and your child will only intensify I just think this is a place for your mom to be at especially since she is your support person
Why do you have to even tell him you are in labor and on your way to the hospital? Dont tell him anything, tell him after the fact.
Have mum at birth, but let him know when your in labour and then he can see baby after birth.
He IS the father… 
No one has a right to be there except you and the baby. Choose whoever you want and the medical staff will back you up.
I feel he has a right to be at the hospital, maybe not in the actual delivery room but be there for after the baby is born.
Your body, your choice! He can come right after the baby is born. Not every father is in the room when their child is born, and that’s okay. If you feel like you need your mom, then it should be her in the room, not him. It doesn’t seem like he will be the support system you need during labor.
No you aren’t being petty. maybe right after baby is born he can come in and cut the cord etc? Swap out with your mom since the delivery is over. I think it’s great he’s wanting to be an active father.
You have control. Choose your mom.
The choice of who is in the delivery room with you is yours and yours alone. If you only want your mom in the room, let the nursing staff/hospital staff know and they will enforce it for you.
You do not have to have anyone in the room that you don’t want there. That time is about your comfort and being as stress free as you can be. He can come by once the baby is born or just wait in the waiting room.
You have who you want with you.
No he does not. You are the patient. You are giving birth. He does not need to be there if you don’t want him there.
Been there done that took in my sons godmother instead. You must be comfortable at a time like this altough he is the dady perhaps record it if you feel to strong not having him with you 
Oh well that would be a really big NO not together no I the birthing suite he could come I once your all fixed up and bub but no don’t think he would get a finger in that room if it was me
You’re job is to birth a healthy baby and you need to be comfortable to do that. He can wait. Invite mama.
No its your choice and mums probably the best support for you
I had my mom and stepmom with me at the birth of all my kids. I would pick your mom if you only get one person.
My stepmom was more support during my last delivery then the baby’s dad anyway and he was there too, that’s why I say pick mom she will be your biggest support always and forever not just in that moment.
No one else needs to be there other than you and whom ever you feel comfortable with.
If he isn’t at the hospital when you give birth you’ll have to get him to sign an affidavit of paternity and have it notarized so he can be on the birth certificate.
Totally valid. You need to be as comfortable as possible when giving birth if thats not him tell him no and have who will make you feel better.
I would pick my mom to be in the room but let him be right outside the room that’s what I did and I was with my ex just I didn’t want anyone in the room with me . With either of my deliveries . So my best friend and my ex were outside the room .
Since he’s the father I would let him be outside the room
No it’s your choice whom or if any when you deliver your baby whose in there. It is also your right if you put the fathers name on the birth certificate, but in saying this you have no financial support for your child and he don’t have to pay without a DNA test. Have your mum or sister if you have one with you that’s if you want to.
No he does not. That’s your body and just bc you’re having a baby doesn’t entitle him to see you like that.
You are not together. If he wants to be there for your child; that’s great. So your choice should be simple…Your Mom! He can see the baby right after birth.
Imagine being told that you could not see the first minutes of your child’s life.
Your feelings are absolutely valid. You are the one going through the ordeal of birth you deserve to have there whoever will help you be the most comfortable and supported. He can come in after the birth and bond and sign the certificate, etc. He does not need to be there for the actual birth if you are uncomfortable with that in any way!
He can’t make that decision only you can
You are the mom. It’s YOUR choice!!! Hospital will back u up.
If you don’t he’ll be a great super person to you, I would have your mom. He can wait in the waiting room and come in after baby is born. Otherwise if he’d be a great support person why not have him? 
He is the father. If the roles were reversed and it was you who couldn’t be there for your child how would you feel/react?
If he hasn’t been there during the pregnancy then he doesn’t get to be there for the delivery-IMO. He can sit in the waiting room and see the baby once it’s born. You need someone to help you get through the labor without causing more discomfort or emotional damage.
If you don’t want him there let the doctors know and they can’t let him in at all. I think your mom is the best choice anyway.
You do what you want!
He’s the father of your baby. It takes two to make one and without him, this bundle wouldn’t happen. If you guys don’t make a good couple, maybe you guys will be good co-parents and that’s great. I’d hate to be in his position and be told that I couldn’t be there to support you to be at the birth of my child whether that be first, second, third.
At the end even though it’s your body and your choice, it’s his baby, equalling as it is yours. Once a baby is born, it’s almost changes all men. So really think about it.
You need someone in that room who is gonna not only be your advocate but your support system too. Laboring is hard work and you don’t need anyone there making it more difficult. Choose who YOU think is best.
You need to feel comfortable, supported and safe during your delivery. If your mom provides that for you best, choose your mom. But be prepared for him to be upset and things to get rocky between y’all. If it were me, I’d let him know he’s welcome to visit after you’re moved to a room, sign the birth certificate, etc but for delivery, you feel most comfortable with your mom being present. Having a good support person you’re comfortable with is so very important. If you’re comfortable with it, ask your mom or a nurse to take pictures/video to show him after. I know it’s not the same as being present but it’s something. And it doesn’t have to be video of baby actually being born but once they put baby on your chest and they’re cleaning them up and stuff.
You two aren’t together as a couple. It’s your right to choose who you want in the delivery room. He can see the baby after they are born.
If you don’t want him there he can come after and sign the birth certificate. But if you don’t want to Even tell him you don’t have To
No he doesn’t. Its be nice society wise but choose your mom if thats who will be most supportive. He can sign the certificate when he comes to visit however he maybe very upset that he wasnt there
Choose who will be the best support person for you. Who will help you keep you calm and relaxed as possible. Yes he wants to be in his child’s life but will he comfort you and be next to you for what you need while birth if you aren’t together.
He doesn’t have any right to be in the room during delivery. You can always notify him when you are on your way and he can wait in the waiting room and come in and meet baby after birth is over with
You need your support system in a time like that not someone you feel an obligation to. Birth can be stressful within it’s self. He can chill in the waitingroom and see the baby after its born.
Definitely your choice. But nothing will replace him seeing his child being born. I think if he’s going to be involved with the baby and you think he’s going to be a good father, he should be able to have that ultimate bonding experience with the baby. I’ve had it both ways and I don’t regret either of those choices.
My daughter had a baby 4cmonths ago and only 1 person can be in room. She is still withe the babies father and I was still in the room with her instead 
u need someone there to support u . He can come to hospital to visit after birth .
Remember it’s his relationship with the baby not your relationship with him. It’s your labor however would you like to miss the birth of your child? But if you are more comfortable with your mom have her in there it’s not really about the baby during labor I mean it is but you’re the one doing it, if you will be in edge and not comfortable with him then have your mom. Tell him you will face time or have him in the waiting room do the labor with your mom push with him? Me personally Id choose the babies dad because it is his child not your mom’s. But either chose is your choice.
I went through something like this with my son. It was however right before covid so I was able to have more people in the room. His dad and I were toxic together after I caught him cheating not once but twice. I absolutely did not want him in the room. My mom was there with me and he got to come in right after. Labor is a very difficult time mentally and physically for most women. I didn’t want the added stress that he brings when he is around. I would 100% choose my mom to be there with me.
The delivery has nothing to do with being a father. Birth is what YOU go through and you DEFINITELY want Mom there! He can be in the waiting room, know the second they are born and see the baby shortly after. Labor isn’t easy and you need support.
Honestly, that is YOUR decision and he shouldn’t/doesn’t get to decide ultimately, you need to pick whoever you KNOW is going to be your biggest support person. From the sounds of it, he hasn’t been consistent in your pregnancy and I don’t necessarily think he’ll be your best bet for a support person. I would go with having your parent, a sister, a best friend, etc. If he’s concerned that he won’t be on the birth certificate and you do want him on the birth certificate (or figure it out later) YOU are the one that fills it out - not him. You are the mother.
Your feelings are valid. It’s your body your choice. You choose what you feel comfortable with!!
If he’s not present, some states will require a paternity test for him to be on the birth certificate. I’m not sure how your state is
Looks like he’s got alot of kissing ass to do or he’s gona miss out!! 
If he dont…I vote the momma
Kimberly McCue I missed the first 30 minutes of my child’s life. She doesn’t remember lol.
Isn’t he the dad? Is there any question? Let him know you need your mommy at that time.
If you get to pick and choose right from the get when and where he’s involved he will too. Just remember that parenting is a compromise. If you choose to not allow him don’t complain when he’s not helping you in future.
Your feelings are VERY valid and it is your choice. If I was in the situation I would want my mom there also. Especially if the relationship wasn’t on good terms. The decision is ultimately yours and you should choose who would be the best support person for you during that time. Good luck momma! 
Parenthood doesn’t start when the child is born, it starts when the mother is pregnant. If he wasn’t there for you and involved during the pregnancy I don’t think your feelings are invalid at all. Ultimately it’s your choice.
If you’re not together then absolutely not. Why in your most vulnerable moment would you want someone there that Isn’t gonna support you. Take your mum girl she’s the one to hold your hand and wipe your tears and get you water n cool you down with cold face cloths not your ex
I went through this 2x and both times my Mother was in the delivery room.
I regretted that I had mine in the room. I think you should choose your best support and that’s your mam as we learn our mates come and go but our parents do not. He can standing outside that hospital door when your released. He can put the child in the car that right there is something very special too.
Your call, Been there… it’s a big decision to make but if your mom lowers your stress level & brings comfort do it. But, if he’s going to be involved in your child’s life one it’s something to consider & if he brings you comfort, don’t be afraid to have him there too… it could be a bonding experience for the coparents. I chose my sister & mom way back when but it definitely put a hole in our relationship that we never recovered from … legally your choice. DM if you need extra support
He has no say, it’s your choice.
If the shoe was on the other foot, how world you feel not being able to witness the birth of your child?
Just because the power is yours doesn’t mean you should rob him of something like that.
The father should take priority over your mother, but again it’s your choice.
If you rob him off this moment, karma will rob you off memorable moments too
Don’t start out your child’s life by being one of those spiteful women that use your baby as a weapon.
I wouldn’t even consider it.I’d want my mom not my ex in the room… how uncomfortable for you if he’s standing there waiting… naw…
You’re the one who’s having the baby and you guys aren’t together so if your mom is who you want there for support then that’s who you should have. Plus it sounds like he wasn’t going to appointments with you or anything so
No he doesn’t. Tension causes delays in child birth and it’s not like baby is going to remember it
The regulations on the hospitals change day to day. When I was having my daughter 1 day my man could leave, one day he couldnt. It changed several times. Tell him, he can wait outside the room/hospital if allowed. Inside the actual room, should be your comfort, your support team. Your mama definitely needs to be with yyou.I wouldn’t care who’s feelings I hurt. If I’m not comfortable, your not coming. Everything God gave you will be on display. Comfort for mama, is everything during delivery. period!
You have a right to decide who you have in the room. If you’re only allowed one person and your mom is better support then pick her. I do feel bad for dad not being there to see his child born but it’s ultimately your decision
Birthing a baby is hard enough already then to have someone in the room that isn’t going to support you during the process. If he hasn’t checked on baby during pregnancy and you guys are toxic together then no he shouldn’t be in the room, someone who is going to give you the most support should be in there with you. Regardless if he’s the father or not. It honestly your choice.
If he wants to be involved why would you take that experience away from him? it’s his child too. how would you feel if the roles were reversed?
You need who you are comfortable with in the room. He isn’t going to support you like your mom will. She has been there for you…not him. You can notify him when you are ready for visitors. I’d strongly think about the birth certificate as well.
Take your mom. If the hospital lets him in the waiting room so be it.
I will tell you what my midwife told me. During labour the midwife dr etc are there for you and baby… and at any point you can ask them to remove or deny access to anyone that you don’t want there, especially if it is causing you distress. ( I found this out when my ex decided not only did he want to be in the room but have his mum there as well!!! ) in the end I didn’t have anyone in with me andwhen I think back it was the best decision I made x
It’s 100% your choice. If his presence calms, encourages and supports your delivery, sure. Otherwise NO.
It is up to you and whoever you feel would make you most comfortable in that state of vulnerable , do not let ANY make you feel guilty for whatever you decide . The people saying if you don’t let him in the room don’t be mad when he don’t help in the future are asses ,regardless mama has her babies ,if he don’t step up as a father all bc he wasn’t chosen as your birthing partner then it’s his loss . Do what you feel you need to do mama !
Choose who you feel will be the better support person.
I don’t think they have a right to be only if the mom approves them being there. But I think it’s absolutely wonderful that he wants to be. A lot a lot of dad’s do not want to be!!!
Not only do you have the choice, but you have security. It doesn’t seem necessary in this situation, but there are security measures that can be taken for your privacy. You can set a code word in place, and any visitors or callers must know it. Security can be placed on the floor to ensure that your wishes are respected.