No.
The delivery room is the most vulnerable you will ever be. It is so important that you are able to relax and focus. You need someone who can be your rock. Choose your mother.
I know plenty of mothers to be that chose their mothers over their loving husband’s. Dont stress this. Juat choose mom but tell him that she/you will give updates often and he can be the first to greet baby afterwards. It’s not about him. Its about you and your comfort and safety.
Good luck
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I personally would have him there, the guilt of him missing out on such a experience with his child I’d feel horrible for, and I 100% understand how you feel about your mom I had my mom and my husband with me. I don’t think I could have done it without them both. I’d check and see if you could have 2 though and go with whatever will be best for you guys, ultimately it is YOUR choice to choose what’s best.
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He has no right in the delivery room
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That’s his child as much as it is yours he has a right to see the birth of his child. If you’re going to take his support and his help with the child after it’s born you really shouldn’t be holding him from watching the birth .
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It’s your choice, pick why you want.
If he’s doing all the right things then there is no way I’d be able to exclude him from the birth of his child. It’s there still wasn’t restrictions it wouldn’t be so bad because he’d be able to be in the hospital at the same time but since there is it would be fucked for your mother to have contact with yalls child before him.
No. The only people allowed in the delivery room are who you choose and whatever the policy at the hospital you’re having your baby. No one can but their way into the delivery room. You have the say so.
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I think you can have two.
He should be allowed. This is his child after all
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Only have people you think will support you in there
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Unpopular opinion here…I think he should be allowed in. Witnessing the birth of your child is a big deal. If he wants to be involved with the baby then he should be allowed to watch his baby be born.
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Well , to be honest if your decision who you want to share the experience with, and I think that you , should not be stress while delivering, but it’s not just about you and your feelings , he has the right to experience the birth of his baby .
And let me tell you something, as single parents who are parenting kids there’s will be plenty of occasions that we moms have to swallow / put our feelings on the side for the sake of our kids
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I’m sure this isn’t a popular opinion, but I would have him there (and ask if I could have my mother as well since guidelines are loosening). Having him be a part of the birth will go a long way with helping him connect and bond with the baby which he helped create.
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That depends on the hospital and what Covid procedures they have set up. Call and check with the hospital you’re planning to deliver at.
Your not being petty. Tell him he is welcome at the hospital but not in the room exactly when your giving birth. You need your moms support.
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Please don’t drag me for this yall…
But that’s also his child- do I think you’re being petty? ABSOLUTELY NOT. I just maybe you’re only taking your feelings into consideration.
There wouldn’t be ANYTHING in the world that could replace him seeing the birth of yalls child. Now I understand wanting to have your person (mom) in the room for that support. But maybe just ask if you can have both of them? Or ask if dad can maybe just come in when baby is crowning or etc?
The fact that he actually wants to be there for the birth itself says ALOT about the dad he wants to be for this child. Please atleast try to make this work, he’s not going to be able to experience the birth of yalls child again. It’s not like a baseball game.
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It’s his kid too. I think he should be allowed to be there. You should feel fortunate that he wants to be a father.
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U do what’s best for u and if that’s not him been in the room and your mum is then that’s right for u. Tell him once u get well into the delivery stage then u’ll ask for him too told and to come down to the hospital so then apart from u and your mum he’ll be the first to see and hold the baby
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No entitlement whatsoever.
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You’re the person giving birth, he isn’t your significant other. Have someone there who you feel supported by, if that’s your mom, then she’s the right choice. He doesn’t have a « right » simply because it’s his child. You choose who you want there. That’s it. Don’t feel bad about it.
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I think that bond between parents and baby is super important but that’s only my opinion
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You don’t have to let anyone in while you’re delivering. It’s your body. You should try to have the most comforting experience with zero guilt.
The person you pick to be in the room with you is supposed to be your support person. I understand him wanting to be in there but at the end of the day you gotta do whats best for you because it can get stressful and trying so I’d pick the person best equipped to handle you and make it easier for you
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No it’s your delivery. You should have a calm environment. In my State he has no rights until the child is born and acknowledges he’s the father by signing the birth certificate or letter acknowledging paternity. I know in my State he can also request a paternity test at this time as well. But no you don’t have to allow him to be in the delivery room with you.
If you don’t want to be around that environment, why would you want him to raise your child around it??? and NO HE DOES NOT need to be there.
Definitely your decision. But I also think he should get to see the birth of his child so he has that memory too. Just be honest with him that you definitely will need a coach/motivator through delivery! But the decision is ultimately yours!
As the birthing person, YOU can say who is or is not allowed in there. No matter what’s going on. Your say is final.
He can sign the paperwork and still be there for the baby afterwards, but if he isn’t going to provide you with a stress-free, supportive, comfortable environment to bring your baby into, then tell him your decision is to have your mother and that’s final. He can see the baby afterwards.
I might get slaughtered for this but, I think it’s just as much his child as it is yours. There is nothing nicer than co parenting and having a good relationship with ur childrens daddy. Don’t make it about either of you. Im sure Dad and child will have an amazing relationship going forward and Perhaps your child will ask why her dad wasn’t allowed. Let it be a celebratory moment seeing the product of your once love for one another, taking her 1st breath.
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Although its definitely your body & choice if he is agreeing to be supportive & non confrontational in order to be in the room to witness one of the most beautiful experiences ever HE DESERVES TO BE THERE, other wise you are just being petty & I already feel sorry for this unborn child. This baby is every bit as much as his as they are yours. You being a woman doesn’t give you the right to trump him as a parent. Imagine how you would feel if the tables were turned.
You said he’d be an awesome parent so keeping his child from him in my opinion beyond selfish, more woman need to put their own feelings aside & let good fathers be fathers.
If you can’t put your feelings aside for the sake of your child to be brought into a world with 2 loving parents then you are only creating future heartbreak and hard times for a child you are suppose to love & care for above all.
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Don’t let anyone guilt trip you into letting someone you don’t want there!
Choose whoever you want to be there!
Just because he is the father doesn’t automatically mean he has to be in the delivery room just because he wants to!
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Just don’t tell him when you go into labor 
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CHOOSE YOUR MOTHER… men aren’t usually super helpful OR comforting in the delivery room, especially with the way your relationship with him has been. You NEED peace in that room!
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Your mom is fine, it is your choice!! Noone else can make that choice!!
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Completely valid. Sometimes a girl just needs her mama.
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I personally would let him. It may help him have that dad bond more strongly seeing the baby being born. I think its just as important for dad’s to form that emotional connection. But it’s your body, your choice.
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He gave up that right when he couldn’t check on you while you’re carrying his child. You need to do what’s best for you.
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It is up to you what will be best for you. Less stress makes for a better labor. You can have him come the day after you give birth to sign the birth certificate if you want so you can rest.
Could you possibly have your mom in the room most of the time while in labor, and dad come in possibly before the actual birth happens. Obviously this would only work if you were having a stereotypical birth, where it was progressing over a period of time and no special circumstances.
So I had a very similar experience. I actually informed my doctors and nurses he wasn’t allowed in the room when I’m pushing. He could come in shortly after. But for me it ended up not being an issue as he misses the birth anyways. He was driving from 8 hrs away. We gave him plenty of time. Told him at 3 pm, my time,l, which was 2 pm his time, was in labor and he didn’t leave Vegas until after 5, his time, so it was a 3 hrs gone there. It’s up to you whom you have in the room.
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You’re not being petty.
It’s important for you to be 100% comfortable with the person who is in the room while you’re in such a vulnerable position.
That said, you can allow him to be there at the hospital without being in the room. You can also allow him to be there after you’ve delivered.
Co-parenting is about compromise.
Explain that because you’re going to be in such a vulnerable position you’d really prefer your mom in the room while you’re actually delivering but you would welcome him to be at the hospital and to be present after you’ve delivered and your bits are no longer on display.
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He has first choice it’s his kid. Especially if he is going to sign the birth certificate … to save u time and energy later on. Let him be in delivery room
It’ll save u a court headache
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Wow that’s a hard situation to be in. My unpopular opinion is. He is the father and what gives you the right to not let him see the birth of his child? It’s not your mom’s kid I think your being a bit selfish you both made this kid but your already making all the choices for the child? Just because it did not work out between you two doesn’t mean he should miss out on these big moments. Since yall aren’t together he will probably miss all the big milestones. Put yourself in his shoes for a minute. But I totally understand the want and need to have your support person there. When I gave birth I had my husband sister and mom
I don’t know what I would have done with out all 3 of them.
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No one except doctor and nurses were in room when I gave birth to my 2.
Not at all! This is YOUR delivery for your body and your well being. You need who supports you there not just and solely the baby.
If more than 1 visitor could be in then sure. But since only 1 then you have every right to choose your mother in this time and do not feel bad about that. Delivery is about you. He can come once he’s born and they can switch out he can even be there waiting for when he’s born and be there to sign that paper work unless they don’t allow them to switch out.
Seems like maybe you and him need to have a sit down conversation about this and tell him how you feel. Let him know that you need somebody that’s gonna be supportive for you and make you feel comfortable during that time. If he thinks that he can step up and be that person for you I would let him. You only get one opportunity to see your child be brought into the world I wouldn’t take that away from him but that’s my personal opinion.
Your feelins are absolutely valid! Its up to you, who you have in the room with you! Good luck😁
I believe as the father he does have a right to be there at least in the building where the child is born
Yes you are valid in your feelings. Maybe instead of being in the room he can be in the waiting room. That way he can be close by and be there for after delivery.
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He hasn’t a right to be in there with you. It is an important that you have whomever is best for you in that moment. If you want your mom, then you let her be there for you.
Nope he has no actual right to be there. It’s your choice completely and if you want your mom there most definitely pick your mom. He does not “deserve”to be there and he is not entitled to be there. Don’t let anyone guilt you about that. If you think he’s going to be a great dad and let him be involved then great but he does not have to be there in the room when baby is born. Have who you want there. Have who brings you comfort and peace all the way. 
You are being petty. He clearly wants to be in his child’s life so why would you make him miss one of the most important dates there is
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No. You have who you need. NEED. EMOTIONALLY. He may be the father but ultimately it’s your body, your emotions and your pain. He can see the baby after, it makes the baby no less beautiful to him, he will have his own moments with that baby. Emotional stress can slow down labour and that can mean unnecessary intervention. I’m sure he’d rather you have a happy, calm and safe labour and delivery. He has no rights.
That’s like saying a man can force an abortion as it’s as much his, I’d like to see all those saying he should have the right to be there also agree that in ALL circumstances then?
No he doesn’t.
Your labor & your delivery. & your experience. He can come in after the baby is born.
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Go with your gut. No matter how many people wanted to be with me any of my three times, I only wanted my mother
He doesn’t have a “right” during the birthing process, only the laboring mother does. If having your mom there is comforting and calming to you, then Mom it is!
Yea tell him he can come to hospital and visit and spend time w him but you don’t want him there in the room and u already decided ur mom being in room since u aren’t together anymore. He’ll have to accept that
People forget that the mom in labor is the patient! Choose whoever is going to make you the most comfortable and support you while you deliver this new life. I wouldn’t want an ex seeing anything come out of my vagina even if it is his baby. And if there ever was a emergency who would you want there if your unconscious. Just because he’s the father doesn’t automatically mean he needs to be there for delivery.
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Personally, if there’s no hard feelings between y’all, and he’s wanting to be in the baby’s life, he deserves to be there for the birth. It’s HIS baby too. And if he’s biological dad, he can easily have your mom removed from the room…
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Nah id have my mom. Y’all arent together and YOU need a support person for that time, not the baby. He can sign the birth certificate without being in the room, and he can begin his childcare duties after. Anyone who says he has a right to be there should look up the laws in your state.
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Try to find a compromise. A lot of people get ghosted and it says a lot that he wants to be there. He wants to share the moment of bringing yalls child into the world. It’s a beautiful moment. If you can’t have 2 people during delivery ask that he waits in the waiting room until the birth and you’ll have someone get him immediately after to meet the child
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Your delivery. YOUR choice. He can come in right after.
Nope it’s all up to you the mother giving delivery. If you don’t want him in there then he doesn’t need to be in there. You want to be relaxed and not stressed out while delivering and being in labor.
Your stress level is really important at that time. I would ask the hospital if they could work with you and let them rotate or if he could be a bystander. But when it comes to it, make the best decision for your mind, heart and body. As this will already be very taxing on you.
No one has the right to be in the room during YOUR medical procedure. You are the patient. You are giving birth. It’s 100% your choice. You need someone who will be supportive and you need to be comfortable and stress free, in order to deliver a healthy baby.
This is a tough one. I understand that y’all aren’t together anymore and there are plenty of people who have children, can’t be together but co-parent well together. I hope, for the sake of the child, that this is your situation because a child deserves to have both parents present. With that said, the person in the delivery room with you is a support system for you. If he can be that person, then by all means, have him there for the birth of his child. If he can’t be though, take your mother in with you. The delivery needs to be about you. Who’s in the room has nothing to do with being able to co-parent a child. At the very least though, he should know when you’re in labor and be at the hospital, even if that’s him in the waiting room. I will say though, that if you choose to have your mom in the delivery room and him in the waiting room, and you do believe that he will be a good dad, make sure he gets to at the very least hold his baby before anyone else. For my two oldest daughters, their father was in the room with me. He got to hold/feed them before I did. No big deal, he’s their dad. With my youngest two, my mom was in the room with me (different dad than the oldest two) and I was pissed because she got to hold/feed my son before I even got to hold him. When she was there for my youngest, I made it clear that the she needed to be brought to me in recovery, so that I could hold/feed her first.
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Imo he is the dad, he wants to be involved in the child life, he’s not abusive, he’s “a good guy” as you said. You two just aren’t compatible to maintain a relationship. So, that being said, he is the father and he should be allowed in to see the birth of his child. That’s a moment in the child life that he’ll never forget. Don’t be selfish just because you two aren’t together. Make this about the child, support one another and start your co-parenting out on a strong note.
If you can’t do that. At least compromise and have a video call set up so he can at least witness this birth in real time.
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As a man, it would be awfully cruel if he didn’t get to witness the birth of his child. Especially if he sincerely wants to be there. Not an opportunity that comes often in life.
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You’re feelings ARE valid. If you want your mother by all means have your mother in there with you. He can see baby after the birthing process. Even if you were married, it’s ultimately up to you who is in the room with you when you give birth.
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No he has no RIGHT to be in the room. YOU have the right to decide that & if you need your mom there that’s your right. He can go to the hospital & see the baby afterwards.
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This is a hard one… This is his child too but it’s your body. Also, Women do all the work to grow the babies, labor, and deliver so I could understand why you’re hesitant of having him there, but that doesn’t mean that it’s fair for him or the best choice. I would ask the hospital ahead of time if both your mother and the father of baby be in the room.
Honestly, this is an experience that would be devastating for any parent to miss. There are so many children out there that are fatherless due to men not stepping up. I would be counting your lucky stars that he wants to support you and be so involved even though you both are no longer together. I do believe that it’s possible you may be harboring some resentment and negative feelings towards him which is why your pushing him away and don’t want him to be there but I would really reconsider that choice and try to give him a chance to step up and support you and your child.
I give you a lot of credit for being able to recognize that you may be being emotional and to ask others for their advice to help guide you. This shows that you obviously are a caring person and your doing your best to be fair.
Another option is that he could wait in the waiting room throughout the entire laboring part and only come in once it’s time to push and then he will need to stay back behind your head (if your not comfortable with him looking)
I had a friend who did this exact thing after she was very hesitant of letting her baby’s father be in the delivery room and she doesn’t regret allowing him to be there for the actual birth at all what so ever. It helps create that first initial bond between you and the father and the father and his child.
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I am pretty sure the hospital will honor your wishes no matter what. Their concern is you, and your baby.
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I’d have my mom, I’d video chat after the baby is here you need your support person that’s positive and won’t stress you out!
There’s nothing legal stating he has to be in that room. I’m on the fence with this one. Because, while I believe you should definitely choose who your more comfortable with, I also kinda feel bad he’s going to miss the birth of his child which is the 1st most important moment in being a dad. Idk
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You don’t have to let him in delivery room. In Iowa the only way he can sign birth certificate is if your married.
You dont even have to tell him where and when you’re delivering
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He does not need to be in the delivery room with you he can come in after, if he’s serious about being in your child’s life
Your feelings are valid. If I were you, I’d want my mom to be there rather than the childs father. Someday, he will also have another baby by someone else,.he can get that opportunity… I want someone I trust who’d be there for me. My mom
Its not just your experience , your delivery only blah blah . He helped make the kid he deserves to be there . It is so scary having boys knowing that they could end up with some women like this .
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Your body your choice. Also I’d make him prove himself before he can sign the birth certificate. If only I hadn’t been so eager for my child’s father to sign it my life would be much more peaceful.
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COVID 19 restriction. Have your mother because she will be a better support if you csn only have one person
Fathers usually arent in the delivery room. My friend husband kept fainting.
Make sure about the restictions if you can have more than 1 person then have him in with your mother. TRULY his bonding will be much better AND
especially since he is not shirking his responsibilities towards his child.
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He can be at the hospital and meet the baby after he or she is born while you are in recovery if you have a c-section or for a few min while they tend to you. He doesn’t need to be in the room. You have a right to privacy.
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That is an intimate moment with intimate body parts exposed if you aren’t in a romantic relationship with him and he is not your support now then you should have someone with you that you will get support from. He can be in the waiting room and be allowed to come in after you are all taken care of and settled. Don’t need the pressure of others saying oh well it’s the birth of his child blah blah blah he should have thought about that when the woman pregnant with his child needed to move out because it was a toxic relationship. You can have a very strong co parenting front even if he’s not in the room when the baby is delivered. It isn’t selfish.
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You need to feel comfortable in every way possible. You have the right to a comfortable delivery, with someone who will comfort you and support you in the best way possible. If that’s your mother, that’s your mother. I don’t know anyone who would choose their ex who JUST decided they want to be a parent in the room ahead of anyone else in their life. He can come in and meet your new child after, that’s fine, right? If he is going to make this a problem I would very quickly discuss what co-parenting is going to look like and get going on a court order so it can all be set up in black and white, no arguments it’s all set and planned…every holiday,every expense, transportation, what each parent provides, what you expect, what he expects you both need to figure it out ASAP this is just the first thing, in a VERY long line of things. Good luck and I hope you have a very smooth and calm delivery.
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I believe he deserves to be there but maybe set boundaries now. Explain you need support not any bickering or arguing. But giving birth is such a intense situation to be honest so I doubt any of that will happen and he’ll probably shock you and be concerned about the baby but also you since your the mother of his child. Fathers tend to not get to bond as soon as we do with pregnancy so usually that is that first moment they see their child is when the strong bond begins with fathers imo also he MIGHT respect you more after seeing all that. Some men do some don’t do it is a gamble lol
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You are the one admitted to the hospital. Just tell them he isn’t allowed in, take him off all your medical stuff and the hospital will be your bouncer
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He’s still the dad whether you’re together or not.
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You are being petty. If you think he is going to be a good dad and you will be able to Coparent, there shouldn’t be a reason he can’t see the birth of his child. It’s not just your experience, no matter how badly you tell yourself it is or however many people tell you “it’s your body” it’s his child too.
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The only person who needs to be in the delivery is you, the necessary staff, and anyone you want in there. He’s not delivering a baby.
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Me and my ex had split during the pregnancy and because it was toxic and he was violent I refused to let him there for the birth. I did however have his mum as my birthing partner and he has since been an amazing dad and honestly a small part of me regrets him not being there to see her born.
Nope ur not being petty and actually if you put him on the birth certificate and decide after you don’t want him to be for any reason good luck on that he was gone all this time and all of a sudden the want to be in the delivery room nope sorry take ur mother
He can visit after the baby is born. If you are not comfortable with him being in the room, then you’re not comfortable 
that simple. The doctors and nurses do not what people there that will stress you out more then birth already will.
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It is his child. He should get to witness his child being born.
I believe he should be there too especially if you’re going to co -parent this child together. It took both of you to conceive this baby. Its only right for him to be involved unless he doesn’t want to be. Your Mom should understand. IF you are going to count on him to support the baby with you then he should have the chance to see his child born.
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No, it’s not his “Right” but if you have hopes of co parenting and building a relationship that way it would be nice to allow him in the room to be one of the first to see and hold his baby. He doesn’t need to stand and watch. Have him up by your shoulders. Just my 2 cents
I was married and still chose my mom to be there. I don’t think it’s being petty. It’s what you want. Good luck 
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You’re right to ask advice and consider the baby’s father. I think you should talk to the hospital and find out what their policy is. Tell them you want your mother with you during labor, but during the birth process, the baby’s father needs to be brought in so he can see the birth of his child. You believe that to be the right thing to do. I think if you explain it that way, they will probably allow it. Also, you should explain to the baby’s father that you aren’t going to be the best hostess while you’re in labor, so it would be better if just your mom was with you for labor, but you will have someone come get him to see the birth. I do hope all goes well and that you have a safe and healthy labor and delivery, that your baby is strong and healthy.
My ex husband had a child before we were together. Him and the mom already broke up at the time but he was there for the birth. I would do what makes you comfortable but also Remember whoever is going to be in there is YOUR support until delivery happens 
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I think if he wants to be you should let him. You dont want to regret it later especially once your child finds out you wouldn’t let the father be there when he/she was born. The guilt would eat me alive.
Yes he has a right in my opinion. He’s the father of that baby and you can never relive those precious moments.
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Your comfort.
Your mom for sure
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You are not together you don’t have to let him in let it be your mom that way you will be more comfortable. He can see baby right after it’s born and he can sign birth certificate also . My son and his gf were broke up at the time she delivered my grandson she wouldn’t let him in the delivery room it was her mom and myself In there I even cut the cord my son came in right after he was born and held his son … He totally understood why she didn’t want him in there they were no longer in a relationship.
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