I disagree with most here, big deal he wants to be there at the birth, was he at doctors appointments, scans, doing anything to help you while u were carrying his child? No? Then no he doesn’t have a right to be there, have someone there that has been through ur pregnancy with you, that knows u and what u want and someone ur comfortable with. Ur the one having the baby and physically doing all the work, u should be comfortable with who is there
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You picked him. This isn’t just your experience it’s his also. How you handle things now will set up how co parenting will go. Even if your not together he can be your support system. Your both parents not just you.
tell him he can be at the hospital to be able to see the baby after it’s born but tell him you want your “birthing coach” there with you instead of him. let him be salty about it. you need to do what you need to do to make sure this a good experience for you and if you’re stressed about he being there that’s not going to happen
He’s going to miss the birth of his child … ? Why exactly would you prevent him from cherishing that beautiful moment on his life?
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Your mother always. I would tell him (your mother) will be there. you can only have one.
Delivery is hard enough- if his presence is going to stress you then no - together or not - but if it’s coming from a place of anger then it’s petty and he should be there - just think of why you don’t want him there and decide then. It depends on how he will behave while you’re going through the worst pain of your life. Will he actually be supportive or be a jerk to you -
A great dad doesn’t always make a great partner or support person.
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You are being petty and emotional. This is not just your baby he has a right to watch his baby be born if he isn’t dangerous, which you said he isn’t. Knock it off don’t rob him of this. People are so damn selfish just because they grew the baby. There’d be no baby without him!
Have your mum 
… Alot of women choose someone other than the father to be in with them even when they’re together… Don’t feel guilt tripped into making a decision for anyone but yourself… It is hard, it is long and it is painful… Have him watch a video of what happens so that he can see why you need your mums support during it.
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Everyone coming at you because you don’t want him in the delivery room, I apologize for them! IT IS YOUR CHOICE! It does not sound like you are being petty. You both ended things amicable and while he was not involved the last 4 months of the pregnancy, you are still opened to him being there for the baby. But that does not mean he HAS to be there for the birth. While it may be nice, it is your choice and you need to have someone in the room with you that makes you feel comfortable and supported. I wouldn’t be able to chose the father if he was not involved at the end but my mother was actively. I’d make the same choice. And while he may be upset, he can stay in the waiting room and still meet his child the same night. He is still involved, he is still allowed to be there, just not in the room. And I hope he respects that for you.
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It’s you and your body having the baby. Your comfort and peace takes priority in this case. It’s completely your choice who YOU decide is in the room with you.
Why would a man you are not in a relationship with be your rock while you are delivering your child? You need support. Choose who you will be comfortable with
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You’re not being petty at all. When I had my youngest, I was allowed to have two people in the room and neither of the two I had was my child’s father. If you want your mom in there with you, by all means have her there. After all, it’s what is going to make you the most comfortable in the most uncomfortable of times. I pray for a safe delivery for both you and your child.
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I delivered all my babies with only hospital staff except the 5th one. Their dad was in there.
When you are delivering your at your most vulnerable, emotional, raw state. It’s not fair to have an ex demanding to see that
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I’m married, and still had my mom with me, instead of my husband. 
It was about who was the most capable of providing the emotional support I needed. Do what makes you comfortable. You’re the one giving birth.
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Your mom and give the baby your last name.
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You’re the one squishing a watermelon sized baby out of your body. If y’all aren’t together there’s no sense in him watching all that. Now I would welcome him to wait in the lobby or waiting room and ask the
LD nurse or Postpartum nurse if she/he could have someone go tell him as soon as baby is born and keep him updated.
Once you are settled from labor and delivery then you can invite him to come meet his baby. But again it’s your hooha that’s going to be on display.
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It’s a precious moment for both of you if you plan on co-parenting with him and you say he’s going to be a good father then why let him miss that beautiful moment of his child being brought into this world yes you have to worry about your stress and you being comfortable but also we glad you have a father that wants to be there to see his child come into the world and wants to be active in the child’s life some mothers don’t have that you might regret it later not allowing him to be in the room and it could cause stress and complications when it comes to the co-parenting cuz of course he’s going to hold it against you that you didn’t let him see the birth of his child in my opinion the birth of the child is just a special to the father as it is the mother it’s his child too
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Labor and Delivery is an emotional, stressful time you need the person that is going to help you, keep you calm, support you. If you are sure he can be that then let him in but if not then it should be your mother. It’s not selfish or petty to put yourself first in this situation.
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You can tell the dr’s/nurses/aids that you don’t want him in the room!! Giving birth can be a stressful thing and if you don’t want him in there they will not allow him to go in.
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You need your mother there believe me! He only wants to watch and won’t be any help for you. I was with my daughter for each of her 3 labor and deliveries.
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He lost that right when he stopped communicating with you and checking in to see how you were doing while pregnant with his child. He can be there to see his baby after it’s born. Have your mom with you!
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Ur the mother I was offered the decision if my husband wanted to be in with me when I had .y daughter. U have the right to choose if u want him in or not. It’s a time u shouldn’t be stressed and relaxed as possible.
Its 100% your choice. He can wait and see the baby after if you decide you want to allow it. Your body your choice.
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Your not with him and if he’s not a good support person to with your mom and do what makes you feel comfortable tbh
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When you’re having your baby, you want someone who you’re comfortable with, who can take it if you’re mean to them bc of the pain etc. Your mom is probably the best option. I would tell him that you’re only allowed one person in the room and your mom is already that person. He can be at the hospital waiting to see his child as soon as they’re born but the birth itself isn’t for him if it makes you uncomfortable
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Man … naw… if he hasn’t shown interest in going to the obgyn… ultrasounds… or any appointments that revolved around the pregnancy… then he doesn’t just get to demand he’s in the room…
You need to be comfortable…and If hes not going to make you comfortable then he doesn’t come…
Simple as that…
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Maybe he can switch in and out with your mom so he can feel included.
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It’s your choice and they will still allow him up to sign the BC.
My sons sperm donor, I didn’t let him in until I was pushing. So maybe have your mom through the laboring part than switch out while you’re pushing?
No. He’s only there if you want it and allow it. You’re the one having a baby and you get to make all the decisions during that time.
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Delivery is very dangerous an unpredictable I’ve had three children working on number four but for all three of my children my husband was not in the room the entire time my mother was and he understood that it wasn’t that I was mad at him but my mother was more of a moral support for me she knew what to do she knew how to help me and my husband just basically stood in the back of the room and watched like I wanted him to it’s okay to not be with somebody though and still proceed to have your baby but happened with who makes you feel comfortable because at the end of the day it’s about your comfortability and the safety of yourself and your baby but you first congratulations by the way have a safe and happy delivery you choose what’s best for you baby
No he don’t have rights technically till a dna test is done if u don’t Want him there then don’t let him I did let my 18 month old dad in there.
You don’t have to have him in the room during labor and delivery. That’s ultimately YOUR choice who you do and don’t want in there. You’re the one going through this. If you don’t want him there, you don’t have to have him in there.
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Most important during the delivery is your comfort. If your not comfortable with the situation and stressing out, that can be very dangerous during delivery for both mother and baby. First part of being a good mom and recognizing danger for your child and protecting your baby. So please do what your most comfortable with, not what others want you to do. Its you and your baby healthy delivery vs his needs or wants. He can wait outside the hospital till the baby is born. Many dads have done that. If he can’t understand your safety come first to delivery the baby safely then he may have other alternatives. You will know people best when they get rejected.
Giving birth is one of the hardest, most emotional things I have ever done in my life. That moment is about you & the baby, not him. It’s your choice who you want. If you think your Mom would be the best to soothe you, hold your hand, encourage you, then have your mom be there. I couldn’t have done it 3 times with out my Mom being there to help me through it all. He can come in right after and meet the baby. But that moment, is yours to do what you feel is going to be the best and calming for you, you want the person who’s gonna be the biggest support for YOU.
You need your mom He will get over it.
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Your support rock is supposed to be in the room with you. It’s okay to say no and tell him you want your mom in the room. He doesn’t have to be in the room to be present for the birth of the baby.
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While uts his child, that is YOUR body. When my husband & I got together, he was expecting with someone else & I informed him how he has to respect if she no longer wishes for him to see her in that manor as they’re not together. I wouldn’t have cared if he was in there if she allowed it since it was his kid but I definitely understood her not feeling comfortable with it.
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No that is your choice . Tell him that decision was already made . Your mother will be there for you .
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On one hand, that is his child and if he plans to be involved in his child’s life, and is looking forward to being a dad, it’s going to sting pretty bad to take that experience from him (getting to see the moment his child is born I mean)… however, the baby isn’t the only patient. Having a baby is very hard and having support during delivery is vital for you. You have to put your needs above his wants right now. Explain to him that this is scary (because childbirth is scary)… and you need your mom for support. It’s not personal and you’re not making this decision to hurt him, but to make sure you have the support you need which will make for an easier and ultimately safer delivery. Maybe see if it can be recorded for him (if you’re comfortable with that… obviously at an angle that doesn’t display anything you don’t want to be seen). Attempt to compromise but not at the expense of what you NEED.
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When having your child it is about who can help YOU through. He made the choice to not be involved in the pregnancy- you’re not together and being in labor is a vulnerable time. Your mother is the best option 100%
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If you’re not comfortable, don’t have him in there. It will make it harder for you and baby during labor.
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He is the father, that alone means something. Maybe you can switch off between him and your support so he can be involved.
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If you are not a couple then he doesn’t need to be in there
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Wow he should be there for his son’s birth and no matter what y’all’s issues are if he wants to be there he should be allowed ! You’re being selfish it’s not like he can get that moment back
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You’re the one giving birth you ultimately get to decide who stays in the room.
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It’s absolutely not petty! He isn’t your support system anymore. Your mom is. Definitely bring your mom with you. He’s not entitled to your delivery of baby.
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It’s up to you. You need to be surrounded by people you are comfortable with & don’t need any added stress
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Go with who u are comfortable having there. He should realise he hasn’t been there for u through pregnancy so why now baby is due. Let him be in the hospital so after he can see the child. If he don’t like that then to bad for him. If I was single when I had my 3 it would have been my Mum with me with out a doubt. Hope all goes well when it gets here for u.
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Since he hasn’t been there for you during the pregnancy and y’all are not together , I’d say he can be in the waiting room
Maybe you could have your mom hold your phone and FaceTime with him when you’re giving birth? It’s completely up to you:heart: Congratulations and much love 
That’s a hard one he is the dad aswell so he should be able to be there at his babies birth if you guys are on good terms i mean why can’t he be there? But also at the same time we all need our mums at times like these.
You aren’t a couple. He can’t give you the support you need. You’re better off having your mom there.
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He does not have the right to be in the delivery room.
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If you don’t want him there,don’t. Aint gotta explain anything. It’s you’re body
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I think him being that babies father should give him the right to be in the room because you don’t want him to miss out on the best experience a father can have because of petty feelings
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If your not together then there is no reason for him to be there. Just simply tell him you can only have one person there and you picked your mom. And that should be the end of it.
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Actually it’s up to you as to who is in the delivery room. I think it’s great that he wants to be there.
You need someone there who will support you emotionally and encourage you when you are tired. He can wait in the waiting room or come visit after you and baby are settled and you can have your mom send updates if wanted.
I’m in the minority here I think. He is that child’s father and he wants to be involved and see his child be born. Who are you to take that once in a life time experience away from him? He deserves to be there as much as you do. Your mother has had her own children she doesn’t need to be there. You wouldn’t be having that child without him. Just have him come in for the delivery only.
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I did this with my child’s father. My mom and him switched off. When the baby was coming my mom was there, and as soon as she popped out and I was stitched up he saw the baby. But again whatever you decide at the end of the day. 
You don’t think he has a right to want to see his child being born?! It’s his child too. This is a pretty big moment why would you want to take that from him? Be happy he even wants to be involved so many men dont
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Giving birth is both empowering and vulnerable. If your mom is who will make you feel supported, then that is that. It requires focus to deliver and if his presence is a distraction, you owe it to your BABY to bring your A-game. The waiting room is just fine.
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Be honest with him. Tell him no.
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If he hasn’t even bothered to check up on you and his unborn child why should he get to be there for the birth you need someone in there with you that’s gonna help you through the delivery not stress you out (just my opinion)
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He doesn’t have to be in the delivery room for him to sign the BC… If you want your mom in there then honey do it that way! Its ULTIMATELY YOUR DECISION 
Its not going to change how he parents y’alls child… Also, depending on what state you live In he MAY need to legitimate the child too…
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Yes. Despite all the crap… he deserves to see his child born. It could be his only chance in life to see his child born. He’ll hopefully develop a whole new outlook about the warrior you become when you become a mom.
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Selfish women like you…you all have ur hands out for child support but you wanna deprive him of a once in a lifetime moment…its selfish af…youre the type who gives baby mamas a bad name
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Ultimately you’re the one giving birth. It’s your choice.
You should be comfortable with who is there with you. Y’all aren’t a couple so if it’s not comfortable him being there ask him to stay in the waiting room. I don’t know how you’d feel about maybe your mom filming the birth (or if she would) but that’s an option if you feel bad about not having him there. You aren’t being petty, you’re protecting your space and yourself. Even though I’m sure he’d like to be in there it’s your decision
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He will do many unforgettable , unforgivable things throughout your life concerning this child,being in the birth room doesn’t have to be one of those things. Your choice.
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You get to decide who is in the room when you give birth. If you don’t want him there he won’t be there. Period. Make sure your nurses and your family knows how you feel. There’s nothing wrong with how you feel.
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No, he’s not entitled to that. Heck, men have only been I. The delivery room the last what, 40 years? Before that they waited in the waiting room . It’s a medical event, you’re exposed, you’re vulnerable and you don’t need any distractions or negative vibes. He can come in promptly after it’s born. He didn’t bother going to the appointments or even checking in. Now he wants you to change your birth plan to evolve around him. He doesn’t need to see the personal behind the scenes of you giving birth to be the father.
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So, they changed the rule in the hospital I delivered in right before I gave birth so I could have two support people. I had my husband and my mom. My husband was great, but when things went wrong and we ended up in an emergency csection with both of our lives being up in the air, my mom was the only one able to make decisions as I was unconscious and my husband was a mess. I was so grateful to have my mom there to help my husband make decisions to save our daughter when I couldn’t.
Man. I tried to be the bigger person and let me ex is the room and he took it as we were fixing things. Kept trying to touch me and call me baby. It was the most uncomfortable experience
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You should definitely allow him to be in the room. That baby is his as well, he shouldn’t have to miss out on the moment the baby comes into the world. Be happy he wants anything to do with the baby, we’re not all so lucky.
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I would. I mean I’ve never been in that situation, but any patent deserves to see their child being born. maybe it took him this long to realize what’d he miss if he didn’t keep up. Sometimes it takes people longer to register and accept things like parenthood.
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NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO BE IN THE DELIVERY ROOM! Hell you can even kick out nurses if you want to. I did but that a long story.
Anyway if you can only have 1 person in the room with you, it should be your support person. Is he willing to go to tour the hospital or go to birthing classes with you? Is he going to help you & God forbid if something happens is he the person to make medical decisions for you.He can be the 1st person to hold the baby (after you).
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Who would be a better support for you, while YOU give birth. which one is going to hold your hand and tell you your doing a good job, which one is going to hold your leg when it’s time to push, which one is going to rub your back when you have a contraction. Which one is going to get you ice chips, or brush your hair out of your face. Wet a wash cloth to wipe the sweat off your forehead? Walk the halls with you, these are some of the questions you need to ask yourself. Your ex/or mom can wait in the waiting room til after you have the baby then they can switch. If that’s what YOU want.
My first my mom and exhusband was in the room, my mom was a better support person.
My second my mom and exhusband was in the room, again she was a better support person.
3rd my husband and mother in law was in the room, my mother in law was a better support person. 4th my husband and sister in law, was kind of equal between the two.
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NO! You are not obligated to have him there. You choose who you feel is most supportive. This is about you going through the toughest moment of your life. Don’t even let him know you’re in labor. If you want to call him after the baby is born.
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I cannot imagine how awkward it would be to have a man in the room who was not my partner or a medical professional. Doesnt matter if you have history or hes the babies dad…hes no longer your partner. You choose who your birth partner is. No reason he cant arrive to see baby immediately after the birth .
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Here is what I would do. I would first start off by contacting the hospital to find out the delivery policy and see if it is still only 1 person allowed. Things have eased up a lot so they may have changed it. I would then sit and talk with him and let him know how you are feeling and get his viewpoint on it. As a mother myself who has delivered 2 babies, I am one that doesn’t believe delivery is 100% about you and you only. Bringing a baby in this world changes his life just as much as it does yours. Rather than start off this coparenting bit by making things how YOU want it and disregarding his feelings all together, be open and communicate and get his thoughts as well. Also, honestly what is there to check up on for pregnancy? He is probably thinking of there is something you need from him regarding it, you would ask or inform him of something that is wrong. Yes a “how are doing?” text would be nice for sure, but I would say its a make or break situation. He may be hurting a lot inside from the separation and maybe it hurts to much to go on talking like normal right now. All in all, I think he should be there, especially since you said he will make a great dad; this is his baby just as much as it is yours and like I said before, its not about you or him anymore, its about the baby.
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I would have mom through labor and have him come in the very second baby comes out but let your team know only after you are decent.
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Is he going to support you through labor and delivery or will cause you stress? THAT is the most important thing here. You need support, and someone with you that can help you through labor.
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Its his child. If you guys are civil I think he should be able to witness the birth of his child. It truly is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Ultimately though it is your choice
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If he’s been out for 4 months and your mom’s been there she’s your support he can come visit after and take turns with your mom but birthing you have choice of who.
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It’s your choice at the end of that day!
I will say your lucky you have someone who wants to be a father even tho you left him while pregnant! Many men would’ve taken that and run far away from you and any responsibility. Guy just lost his family I wouldn’t wanna take anymore of the experience away from him personally.
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This is your decision not his. He hasn’t been checking on you etc… I’d say no way. You don’t even have to tell him when you go into labor. If you want him there then okay but just because it’s his DNA that helped make the child gives him no right to see you in labor. If it would reduce your stress and calm you then okay but if you feel at all like you would rather him not be in the room then that is your choice. Don’t let anyone bully you into an uncomfortable decision. Do not put his name on the birth certificate so he has to fight for rights if he wants to take your baby. If you put him on the certificate he can take your baby and you will have to wait till court to get him/her back. You say the environment he lives in isn’t good for a baby so protect you and the baby by keeping his name off the birth certificate.
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It’s about you and a healthy delivery
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You are not selfish and ignore anyone that is commenting that. You are not together anymore so I think it would be awkward to have him as support because having someone in the room is about emotional support, not so much viewing the process (although that can be a bonus). And most people cling to their mothers when they are hurting, sick or in pain so wanting your mother there is natural. I’d perhaps ask your doctor if you are allowed to have a 2nd person or if there is a viewing room he can be in to see his child born but not in the actual room. I was only allowed 2 people when I gave birth to my first child which was my husband and my mother. But my mother-in-law wanted to be there too. My doctor suggested a viewing room where she could watch but not actually be in the room. I remember seeing her there smiling, and waving a couple times. It is a possibility depending on where you will be giving birth. I’m sure this isn’t the first time the doctor and hospital will have come across a request like this. But you are not selfish!
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Your choice but he is the father and should be allowed if he is an involved father and plans support child. You need to learn to put your feelings aside for the child
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You aren’t obligated to let him but looking toward the future and the impact that not letting him in from the beginning and how that could effect his bonding experience as well as your co parenting situation…I would.personally let him.with the understanding that he has to leave if you are uncomfortable
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This is a very hard situation. It is something only you can decide.
My sons father and I were not together when our son was born but I did allow him in. My family was in the waiting room during the delivery.
I made my decision based on knowing he was the father and I wanted him to be the one witnessing his only son being born. Granted he has 3 daughters but I felt he should have the opportunity to see his son.
Also I didn’t feel comfortable with anyone else in the room. I was shy about my body. I also thought he would clean up his act and get his life together knowing he had a little man to raise…boy was I wrong.
I also battled with what last name to give our son. His father and I were never married.
I regret giving him his father’s last name because even after he said he would be there for him 100% he isnt.isn’t. Doesn’t text, call nothing unless its about court.
Now my son is 9 and wants to change his last name to mine and it is so hard to do.
His dad won’t agree and to go through the court here in PA it’s redic.
Not to add more stress to your plate you need to think of that also.
I wish you the best love.
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One part of me being a mom of adult children says your mom should be there for you. The other part says he wants to be there for his son being born is a great thing. I would talk to doctor explain what’s going on. Maybe mom could be by you and dad could be over where they clean and weigh baby
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I believe they let more than one person in now I’m not 100% sure though. I had a C-section for my last one and his father and I were not on speaking terms, he would buy things for our son but would comments about it so I didn’t let him in since he was causing me a lot more stress. If you think that your stress levels will be lower without him in the room so be it. Nobody knows what’s best for you or what you’re going through but you. So do what you think is best. He might be able to visit after the baby is born. Best of luck to you mama and I wish you the best
Listen the bonding when the child is born is all about the mother. How the mother feels, and if it’s not the type of energy you want in the delivery room don’t let him in! He can wait in the waiting room for when you are ready! Do not let anyone tell you that you would be taking something away from the dad. This is about you mama and how you feel impacts the child. So if your mother is your peace there’s your answer. I had my best friend with me and the delivery process was so smooth and pleasant that I am so thankful I chose us (my baby and I) his dad woulda just gave me anxiety and his energy would had been diverted to his feelings, and his comfort, on the most intense day of my life. No thanks. My son came out all natural and I had only 3 stitches. I really believe it’s because I was in a good space.
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Do not listen to anybody who says he’s daddy he’s allowed. no this is your body your choice and he does not have to be there especially if y’all arent together. I put in my birth plan and gave to my doctor and nurses before I gave birth that the father was not allowed in that only my mother who I was comfortable with was allowed in that room. you do not have to allow him in there if you don’t want to. it’s your choice you are the one that will be pushing A Child out of your vajayjay not him. You do what’s best for you not what is best for others.
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I broke up with my ex 4 months before I had my son as he was cheating but we got better as friends but I told him I didn’t want him in there with me from day one I wanted my sister. He wasn’t happy but I just didn’t want to stress out over anything other than giving birth that was before you could only have one person. If you feel your mum would be best then just tell him that. He can come up once the baby is born and see it. Your giving birth so it’s completely up to you who you have in there.
I was in the EXACT situation with my ex husband. I left while 6 months pregnant with our daughter. I did not allow him in the delivery room, and while I was torn over it, it was THE BEST decision I could have made for my daughter and myself. I have never once regretted it. I was able to be completely relaxed and enjoy bringing my daughter into the world
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Nobody has any right to be in the delivery room. Your body is exposed. He can see the kid after it’s out.
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