Had he gone thru LA Maz with you or done the hospital tour thing? Your the one that needs to be comfortable
You can have whoever you want in there . You don’t want him in for delivery it’s your choice
Nope…your intimacy with him is over! He can hang out in the waiting area. Good luck.
He wants to be in the child’s life and you are pushing him away. Ask yourself why and be honest woth your answer?
Nope !! The only people that NEED to be in the room is YOU and your doctor ( and nurses). That’s it. That is also why there are waiting rooms !!!
I had a similar situation with my first child. That was also over 10 years ago, and there wasn’t restrictions on how many people I could have in the room. I ended up having 11 people in there, not including nurses and docs. Lol. I didn’t speak to him much throughout my pregnancy, and he was a total dick, like all the time. But, once that day came I got all soft about it, since it is a moment that you can never recreate. I invited him to come with all the others to see his child being born. And I don’t regret that decision. Now with the COVID stuff there’s restrictions. See if it may be possible to have two people in the room, if it’s absolutely not possible, I’d say invite the father. It is his child too. And a really beautiful thing to witness. But that is just my opinion. Do what feels right in your gut.
I chose my mom. My baby dad and I also broke up during my pregnancy and us being in the same room only caused arguments and disagreements. I wanted my space to be as stress-free as possible.
Have your momma in there with you,he can go in after and see the baby and sign the necessary paperwork afterwards,besides,you are gonna want your momma anyway
This is solely your choice! He has to right to be in the delivery room!
you have a right to have whom ever you want in the room with you, And make sure the L&D nurse is aware of this
If you want your Mom there for support then that’s who should be there for you. He can visit after the baby is born
He’s not entitled to that. Youre the one going through labor not him and you deserve someone you want to have as emotional support during a very vulnerable time in your life. Do what is best for you.
Unless there is abuse it seems like he should be able to be there
See if your mom can be there for the labor and dad be there for delivery part
I say tell him no but to come prepared to do skin to skin contact himself after the baby and you settle. Like immediately after birth and wash up!
He I’d doing the right thing but you are also entitled to comfort. If you could talk yourself into letting him be in the room amd be comfortable…do it!!!
Not being petty. Most women want their mothers there, especially if they’re birthing their first child.
Explain it to him much like you did to us. Only one person is allowed in the room and you want your mom. If two people were permitted, he’d be there.
Well If you don’t want him to be… No
Don’t feel bad for not letting him in. If you’re not comfortable with it that’s 100% okay! Him being the father still doesn’t give him any right to be in that room. You would be more comfortable with your mother, especially since she has been through this before so she can actually help you too.
Don’t let a man you aren’t comfortable with in that room. No is a complete sentence, you don’t need to explain yourself
No absolutely not this is your pregnancy and your labour, no rights whatsoever ever. You need to feel comfortable. Xx
No he doesn’t it’s your body.
It is your decision. If you do not want him in there, tell the nurses and make it known knowledge that you want your mother and only your mother in there.
I know for me, my mother was my support. Do what you need to do.
That was a incredibly hard choice I had to make and Covid caused it. I had a c section and had to choose between my husband (her father) or my mom and ultimately I chose my mom because it was the best choice for me!
I think that the dad should be there to see the birth of his child if your on good or ok terms I don’t think think the experience should be taken away it’s a special moment for him as well and who knows seeing that moment could smarten him up
No. When it comes to the delivery it’s YOUR choice and your choice alone. If you were together it would be different. You will be in a very vulnerable, exposed private situation during delivery. If I were in your shoes I wouldn’t want that person with me either. You’re not shutting him out of the child’s life and have shown you want him involved. That’s great and your child will benefit mightily from it! It’s NOT selfish to want to have someone that loves you unconditionally and cares about your well-being in the delivery room. Ignore those that say otherwise because they don’t know what they’d do in your particular situation. Your mom is the person you want with you. Allow the father into the room after the delivery so he can meet his child. DO NOT allow yourself to be guilted into an uncomfortable situation. The decision is yours and yours alone.
In my opinion anything that happens in or around having birth is the mothers decision only. That being said, if you can only have 1 person by your side I would choose someone that will be there to comfort me. While it is a wonderful experience for the father to have, birth should be mostly centered around the mother. Making sure the mother has a stress free and complication free delivery. Once the baby is born, not very long afterwards you will be moved into a room (or if you stay in the same room) where you will be allowed to have visitors.
Honestly at birth time it’s what mom wants. If you think your mom is a better support and you’re more comfortable with her there then dad is going to have to accept that. Not in a mean way. Just think of it this way. If you are not comfortable and don’t feel the support you feel you need your labor could actually be prolonged.
YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID. If you want your mom there, your mom should be there. He will cause you stress and you do not need that at a time when your bringing another human into the world
It’s your labor and delivery. Don’t feel bad doing what’s best for you because this is all you. He can wait until it’s over.
So only you can decide how you feel. HOWEVER I’m going to go against all other advice here and say that the child is equally his as it is yours and he has every right to be there for the birth of his child. You have to consider how you’d feel if the roles were reversed and it was him giving birth to your child and you couldn’t be there. It would be a great start to learn how to co-parent now with the father of your child.
Girl tell him to go sit down somewhere you can have whoever you want he has no say.
Only if you want him to, it’s not his right
Like no, you’re not with him.
I chose not to have the father in while I was in labour, but did have him in once I was ready to push and deliver.we had not been together since I had gotten pregnant.
It’s your decision. You pick who you’re comfortable with and have them be there with you. When I had my daughter in 2016 my parents decided to follow us to the hospital. It sucked bad having them there. They took up every seat and left nowhere for my husband to sit. I had my daughter med free and that was all that was in my birth plan. But my mom didn’t like that, the whole time she kept telling me to give up and get the epidural. My nurses had to threaten to kick her out. So my situation was backwards, wanting baby daddy and not my mom there. But the point is it’s up to you. You’re the one doing the work. You’re the one exposed. And you’re the one needing support. Everyone else can just deal. Good luck Mama.
Follow your heart! If you would be uncomfortable with him in there since you aren’t together that would probably be just more stress and perrsonally, I would say, No! My husband didn’t do anything anyway when he was there and as an only child I was pretty independent and did not feel the need for another person, He didn’t mind either so our situation worked out fine. It is really up to you! And after living 90 years and bearing 4 children you might as well learn to follow your gut instincts and your heart as you are going to be faced with making MANY decisions your whole life and sometimes you are just going to make others unhappy~ But YOU have to LIVE with yourself so just stop , think and weigh your decisions!! Good Luck and God Bless!!
No, I just wouldn’t tell him until after you deliver. My mom was in the room with me when my son was born not the bio dad.
Nope. You don’t have to let anyone in you don’t want there. You don’t even have to put him on the birth certificate
You shouldn’t rob him of the birth of his child if he wants to be there. It’s a big deal and he can never get that back. Imagine if someone kept you from being there for the birth of your child if roles were reversed. Let that man experience this life changing moment
I wanted my mother in the room with me. When i had my kids you could have more than one person. But if it came down to it and i had to choose… It sure wouldnt have been the baby’s dad.
Your decision. I definitely think dad should be involved with child’s life especially if he wants to be, but he doesn’t have to be in delivery room.
this is a tricky one… I’d say your mum should be the one in the delivery room with you if you’re only allowed 1 person. this is more about your experience giving birth than he or you becoming parents in that initial moment. He can be in the hospital and come see the baby right away, but for the birthing process you have the right to only have your mum present
You need someone in the room with you who is going to be there for you. Labor can be a long ardorous process and you will need someone with you that is supportive who will help you focus , breath and then push. If you could have more than one person with you it would be different. I would not recommend he be with you.
I would let him in. But i wpuld put ur last name for your child as a safety net
Entirely your choice! If he’s a good man and wants to be there then I would rethink of how he could be some part in it. Some men wouldn’t careless.
I had my daughter’s dad in the room with me since it was his kid being born I figured it was the right thing to do. Not gonna lie I wish I just had my Mom instead
No you’re not obligated to do anything for him. It’s your mental states and body giving every.
My husband was with me with both off my children which was good
I would say compromise. Have someone take pictures of the bay a soon a it is out and during the cleanup process. Pictures of the newborn but none of you. Close to him being in the delivery room but, you don’t have him IN the delivery room?
I’d say the person that’s going to make you the most comfortable and less stressed. You are the person giving birth & going through the pain. Do what’s best for you and what will put your mind and heart at ease should there be complications.
Idk. You wanna be comfortable. So id go with your mom. Have her video chat him. So he can see the important stuff.
What advice would you give your daughter or son & go from there. Nobody can tell you what to do! But treat him the same as you would want someone to treat your son, because you never know the situations he may be put in!
Its all up to you. You are the only one receiving that hospital bill
I had my mom and my husband in the room. But this is a totally diff situation. It’s all about support and being comfortable. I’d say choose your mom. It’s not like he has to sign the bc right as the baby’s born. He can wait. Most hospitals have 1 support person and 1 visitor allowed. He can wait as a visitor and see the baby after.
It’s a once in a lifetime experience for any parent. If y’all are staying civil to parent you shouldn’t rob him of this blessing. I KNOW how extremely difficult it can be but you even said he’s a good guy just not for you as a partner. Just at least CONSIDER it. There’s no getting that miraculous moment back ever!
It’s a once in a lifetime experience for any parent. If y’all are staying civil to parent you shouldn’t rob him of this blessing. I KNOW how extremely difficult it can be but you even said he’s a good guy just not for you as a partner. Just at least CONSIDER it. There’s no getting that miraculous moment back ever!
I would let him in. It’s definitely an experience you’ll be sad he missed later. They told my daughter only one person in the room too (which obviously was the dad) but they let me in anyways.
He does have that right! But, you have the right to say whose in there with you…! It’s your decision… no one else’s…!!!
No, your mom is a much better choice in this circumstance. You can call him when baby is here and he can come see the baby when he is invited.
Tbh most places are back to 2 people or more. He is trying to be there for his child I wouldn’t discourage him. I would let him. That is his child just as much as yours. You said he isn’t a bad guy just not for you.
Everything was extremely stressful for me and my daughters dad just added to my anxiety I was also in hospital for a week before she was born and she was a preemie (3lbs) so I told him no he couldn’t be there in. And this was my first child and his 3rd. But he came in right after and he was the first one to hold her and I got 2 seconds with her before she was taken back to nicu for a month and I couldn’t hold her for at least 2 weeks while she was in nicu and if i could it was only for 5-7 mins before she had to go back into the incubator. So honestly it comes down to what makes you comfortable. Having him in there didn’t not make me comfortable at all.
You are the mother, you get to choose who goes in with you and there’s really nothing he can do about it. Your body, your hooha will be the focus, so it’s YOUR choice
My daughter is currently in a very similar situation and she told him he wouldn’t be in the labor delivery room during labor and delivery but he was welcome to wait at the hospital in the birth unit waiting room while she was giving birth and she would have him brought in to cut the cord etc. restrictions at the hospitals here have adjusted and changed so makes this possible. He didn’t like it but like she told him I could have somebody call you after the baby was born and you wouldn’t be at the hospital till then so take it or leave it. She told him she wasn’t trying to be harsh it’s just he has been uninvolved during the pregnancy other then monthly calls to check on her and baby so she doesn’t want him for her birthing partner. She’s due in August.
If you don’t want him in there it’s your decision
He can wait outside and you have someone who’s going to support you and not stress you out
His presence could stress you out and it’ll make the whole delivery miserable
Tell him your mom is already going to be there with you
I would let him be in there. It’s his child too and he deserves to be apart of it imo. He will never get to have that if you rob him of it. He more than likely sounds like he’s trying to be a good father and you will be starting off extremely rocky co parenting relationship with him if you don’t let him. He also deserves to have that time to bond with his child as well.
Giving birth is all about you mama. You need to be as comfortable as possible, physically and mentally. You need to have someone there with you that you can trust to keep you motivated and encouraged to do your best
It does not sound like he’s that person for you and that’s okay. He can come after delivery to see his child. All the signing of docs happens in the following days. It would be more selfish of him to push that on you… giving birth is not about him or anyone else in that room. It’s about you and that baby. Anyone who will add stress to the situation needs to skidattle.
No it’s your body if you don’t want him there he’s not invited.
Giving birth is all about you mama. You need to be as comfortable as possible, physically and mentally. You need to have someone there with you that you can trust to keep you motivated and encouraged to do your best
It does not sound like he’s that person for you and that’s okay. He can come after delivery to see his child. All the signing of docs happens in the following days. It would be more selfish of him to push that on you… giving birth is not about him or anyone else in that room. It’s about you and that baby. Anyone who will add stress to the situation needs to skidattle.
You shouldn’t rob your child’s father to see the birth of his own child just because you want to be a selfish b***** that’s something he can never get back. It’s not just your child without him your baby wouldn’t even be here. Shame on you for robbing him on the birth of his child and he has every right to sign the bc if he is gonna be involved
It’s definitely his CHild too. This is difficult being that’s your body, but it’s his child too. He’d like some memories as well.
He doesn’t have to be there .
Just because you two didn’t work out as a couple doesn’t mean you two can’t have a great coparenting relationship. I would call the hospital you are delivering at and ask how many people can be in the room. But he deserves to be there for the birth, he’s asking to be a father now let him because many guys aren’t like that
Nope. Tell him no and tell the nurses exactly who gets to stay and who is not allowed in. It’s an intimate time and if you are uncomfortable, it could literally hamper the birthing process. This isn’t about him and the sooner he understands that, the easier this will be for everyone. But seriously, imagine trying to poop in front of someone you’re tense around. It’s not gonna happen lol That environment needs to be as comfortable as possible.
It’s up to you. If I were you I’d just have my mom there
Nope he can come up to the hospital afterwards. The birth is your medical event and you need to have someone who is your support who will help you be calm and who you want to help make medical decisions along the way. Does he lose the memory of “the birth” sure but he was never entitled to that anyways. That was always your choice. He can be involved immediately afterwards. He can make memories that don’t involve you being supportless.
Nope. He doesn’t need to be there and your medical team can help enforce that
If you’re not together as a couple I don’t think he has any place in the delivery room, especially as he’s shown no interest in you or the baby for months. This sudden concern and the accompanying promises could disappear just as quickly as they arrived.
Maybe have him in the waiting room to come cut the cord but keep your mom there for moral support. I’m sure there is a middle ground to be found. Best of luck xx
No, he doesn’t have a legal right to be in the actual delivery room. The only person you need in there with you is someone who can fully support you throughout the entire process. It’s long, loud, and painful and can be frightening, so it’s not a good idea to have someone who isn’t up to the task and/or causes you undue stress.
If you are both civil and he’s not a danger to you, please don’t make him miss this moment. He will never get it back. start co-parenting off on a good note
He has no rights. U can have whoever I want in there and if he’s not one of them that’s your choice.
You didn’t make that baby by yourself. Let him see his child be born. Be happy that he wants to be involved
My child’s father and I broke up when I was 7 weeks pregnant. I let him be in the room for the birth, although I could have done without his company in the many hours leading up to the birth. He asked if he could do anything but I didn’t want much from him. Him snoring while I died kinda sucked. I did have my other mother in the room and in the last hour my sister, my first pick for the birthing experience. I was glad I let him be there. It’s a magical thing being in the room when your baby is born. I think it finally made the pregnancy real for him and he was very helpful after seeing what i went through. But if you don’t think you can be comfortable with him in there, you should pick your mom. He can hang in the waiting room and see the baby as soon as they fix you up. Or maybe your mom can stay until push time and trade off. It’s your choice though, not his.
Maybe he can be close by and come in near the end of the birth so he can see the baby, but not there the whole time to make you uncomfortable etc? It’s a tough one x
No he doesn’t have a right to be there.This is your body and birthing experience and your choice. You need to have a fully safe stress free environment. Have someone with you that you fully trust. This is not a situation where you need to consider other peoples feelings/needs. Only consider yourself and what you are comfortable with only. This is when you are in your most vulnerable state. Only have someone you trust and can support you 100%.
I would take the person who can be the most supportive of you because In that moment you are going to want someone you’re close with. He can see the baby after.
You make the choice. Not him.
If he’s a good guy and keep any drama out of the delivery room I’d let him in. If he would cause problems no I wouldn’t. My youngest son’s dad was a dick and I regret letting him in the room
I’d let him be in there, IF YOU SAY he’s not a bad guy and he wants to be involved I would let him.
It’s a moment he shouldn’t miss and he wouldn’t ever be able to do it over again.
It can change everything about a man seeing the birth of their children too!
You need to check hospital policy…when I had my first many years ago…I was told by hospital staff that if the dad “showed up” he will be allowed in the room despite my objections. Granted things have probably changed in 30 years but I would check with the hospital you an to deliver at. Back then it was “the parents” and two people
Nope he doesn’t. I wasn’t with the father when I delivered and he was there. Only one person aloud. Thinking back, I wish I’d picked my mom. It’s an emotional time and him being there made things more stressful. Trust yourself. If you think it’s not a good idea for you, then make that clear. You deserve the best care and support while you go through this. Good luck
Even a married woman has the right to tell the doctors that she does not want her husband in the delivery room. As the patient, they must comply. Her husband may be relieved! It wasn’t that many years ago that even husbands weren’t allowed in the delivery room, and they survived.
It’s you’re delivery… it’s your choice. I was there for a best friend and her husband(who she left due to abuse) was mad. of course the baby is the point of the delivery BUT delivery is about moms and keeping us happy, safe, healthy minded and to feel supported. Enjoy your mom being there. Do not let him push you to be there. If you don’t want him, he’s not welcome it’s as simple as that. I’m here if you need personal support
Take your mom! I have been there and you can even make it so he can’t visit the hospital if needed. I hope it’s not that bad but mine was. Take your mom! Is my best advice.
Your choice. Period. Let the nursing and medical staff know that your mother is the only one allowed in.
I didn’t read the comments but know that it’s completely your choice who’s in the room and if he tries to come in he won’t be allowed if that’s your wishes. You can tell them not to allow him in. But if it’s only one support person they likely won’t anyway. Pick someone you want in the room, if you do
He has had no interest in you or the baby for the last 4 months but suddenly has had a change of heart? Let him know your mother will be with you for the birth however of he wants to support the baby and be in its life you will be open to a discussion on the topic. Your child has the right to have his fathers surname as you said he is a good person. Are you adults or teenagers? Does he have a good job where he could support him? I wish you both good luck. By all haveyour mom in with you if thats who you want
No he does not have to be there. U need someone who can show u compassion and support and help u where needed. I’m sure the last thing u want to do is reach out for his hand while u in pain … Rather someone u comfortable under this circumstance
Doesn’t matter who it is you as the mother delivering the baby decides WHO can and can NOT be in the delivery room! Security escorted my now ex husband and ex MIL out of my room because they were arguing with me and stressing me out. Tell the nurses and security he is NOT allowed there!
Nope he doesn’t. You have every right to have who you want. I’m married and I could have told my husband they he couldn’t be in there.
I think the dads don’t get all the opportunities like women when it comes to our children. That child is just as much his as it is yours . No reason he shouldn’t be able to be there when his child is born. In the room. I had an emergency c section and they kicked everyone out (my whole family and my baby dads whole family ) and my baby dad came into the room when I delivered . We have had an awful , toxic , relationship… but if he wants to be present for the child I believe he should be able to be in the room. Your mom will be there as soon as the baby is delivered . I think the dad takes more priority then your mom. Just my opinion.
*** my mom was 14 hours away from me when I delivered .***