All this you don’t have to allow him. I get she’s the one giving birth but this is also this man’s baby. Just consider that. Cause I guarantee if some one said to all you mums you can’t enter a room to see your baby it’s one person at a time y’all would raise hell to get to your babies. Stop down playing the role a father has.
Very simple. You’re giving birth, not him. He has no right to tell you who to have in the delivery. Just say NO!
He can be a good father without being in the delivery room. Men did it for years and still do.
Your Mom, hands down.
Your choice not his, i wouldn’t want him in their either
You will need someone who is there for you, that you can trust.
Is there a compromise to this…could you have your mum there to support you during the labour but the dad comes in as his child is born.
It’s your choice, you don’t need him there if you feel uncomfortable. Stick to your choice and tell him he can visit after the baby is born.
If he didn’t check in about your pregnancy, he doesn’t deserve it.
To answer ur question, yes I believe he has the right to be there for the birth. U described him as a good person, good man, and that he’ll be a good dad. All that happened is that u 2 broke up. If y’all would have stayed together, u probably would’ve let him be there, correct? If so, then the only difference is that u and him are not in a romantic relationship anymore. The man wants to be there for the birth of his child.
Do what makes you happy!
Nope. Tell him you will have your mom call him or he can be at the hospital, if permitted. That is a boundary most would not want crossed. Best of luck mama bear!!!
It’s entirely (say that again) entirely up to you! If you want your mom, end of discussion. He can wait in the waiting room and be there to hold the baby, etc after delivery.
No he doesn’t have the right have your mom in there with you
There’s no question. Choose your mum💗 Giving birth is about you and what would be the best for you and who you’d need there for support. Nothing to do with him if you’re not together. He can come as soon as baby has been delivered.
NO! and give that baby your last name and keep him off birth certificate. My daughter is having baby daddy problems. The hospital goofed and didn’t put him on birth certificate. Best thing that happened. I just wih they would have screwed up and put her last name.
You might regret it in the future if you don’t let him in.
I worry that the environment you don’t want the child raised in, will still be there during his parenting time.
If you’re not together I would personally feel awkward having him in the room. Have him in the waiting room.
I had to break the news to my daughter father as we split up when I was 15 weeks pregnant. I didn’t want someone I broke up with to be looking between my legs while I gave birth and knew that he was going to stress me out immensely. My mother was the better choice. I told him I would FaceTime him but we were never able to die to extreme complications. But there is always a compromise my ex called me every single name in the book when I told him he couldn’t be in the room but i brushed it off. I needed to be in the right space to make sure I could have the baby and not kill either of us on accident by having panic attacks and not breathing
Let them know at the hospital who you want with you. They will make sure that only those people will be allowed in. He can see the baby within minutes after birth and still be part of her life.
You get to choose who is in the room with you. Choose the person you want. He is not entitled to being there.
I believe you have the final say as to who should be in the delivery room. Make sure he signs the birth certificate then he’ll be on record for child support. Good Luck
I believe he can wait in the waiting room at the hospital then come in after the baby is born. You don’t have to have him in the room you are not together but he does have a right to wait in the hospital waiting room and see the baby after it’s born.
Does he know by being involved and signing the birth certificate,he is libel for insurance,child support.If you are taking him to court make sure you know what you’re going for.
You, the mother giving birth, have the right to choose who you want to be there with you.
I didn’t do it and we are together. NOPE, he wasn’t very supportive during pregnancy and stresses me out so I did it alone. Actually, not alone. The nurse and my doctor were amazing.
From past experiences I’ve seen when a father who has never experienced birth, when he does, it gives him a special appreciation of life and a closer bond to the child which is good for all evolved, in long run, but if you have really bad feelings for him that’s another story, you want to be comfortable as your the one doing all the work.
Giving birth is a very personal experience. You need someone that gives you love and support with you not your ex. He can wait outside. Being the father doesn’t give him the right to be in the room. If he didn’t participate in your appointments and in caring for you while you carried the child you share after you split up , he can’t then say he should be at the finish line.
Entirely up to you who’s in the room!
I personally would allow the father if he wants to. I understand you’re close to your mom but this is his child not hers.
You broke up. He’s no longer your partner. You decide if he is on the birth certificate in time. He may greet the baby later. You need to know more about the future first
You take your mom in with you. He can sit and wait. This isn’t about him, you need to be as comfortable as possible. It isn’t you being petty…
No … take your mum in for support
In my opinion, if he’s the father and he wants to be apart of the baby’s life he should get to be in the delivery room, I’d check with the obgyn depending on which state your in they might let two people in with u.
Take the person you are most comfortable with, that support person is your most needed person. Let him wait outside.
My personal opinion is if he’s the father, actively trying and will be in his child’s life he should be in the room. Mom can meet the baby after but this is the birth of both of yours child. He should have the right you do to see your baby before anyone else and witness that beautiful and once in a life time moment. Babies are only born once. I had a similar situation with my daughters father. He was in the room. It’s ultimately your choice but please remember he is also the parent just as much as you are. I’m sure you would be devastated to miss such a beautiful moment if the roles were switched. Good luck mama on whatever choice you make❤️
My personal opinion is if he’s the father, actively trying and will be in his child’s life he should be in the room. Mom can meet the baby after but this is the birth of both of yours child. He should have the right you do to see your baby before anyone else and witness that beautiful and once in a life time moment. Babies are only born once. I had a similar situation with my daughters father. He was in the room. Babies are half theirs even from the womb. I know many may not think of it like that but that’s the reality. It’s ultimately your choice but please remember he is also the parent just as much as you are. I’m sure you would be devastated to miss such a beautiful moment if the roles were switched. Good luck mama on whatever choice you make❤️
Dad should be in the delivery room, regardless of relationship with mom, provided it’s a safe and positive vibe. Your mom can wait her butt in the waiting room like many grandmas do. You said yourself you don’t doubt he’ll be a good dad, why take this experience away from him? Dad should get the full experience as well! It’s a magical moment for both parents.
It’s actually a truamatic event, it has to be who your most comfortable with, not who’s at what ever DNA your baby has, I would think differently if you were together, but, you don’t have that connection as a partner goes, this situation I wouldn’t have him in the room just because he’s decided he want to be a dad today…
It’s your choice who you want in the delivery room…no one else has any rights…but I think you should let him be at the hospital and see the baby after the birth.
I think honestly you are the only one who is going to be able to know what’s best for you. If you think you’ll feel guilty about it later in the future then maybe open the idea in your mind further, if you don’t think it will bother you later on mom is the perfect choice ! Whatever will make you feel the most comfortable on your hard/special day
No reason for him to be in room during labor or delivery. But please let him be there as soon after delivery as possible. He needs to bond with the baby as much as you. That will also help with co parenting this baby. Find away to make it work
My Mom. I was with my daughter for her second
I choose your mom–this is about you delivering your baby and it’s not a time for you to feel anxiety with him being there. He can be in the waiting room and after you’ve delivered and held your baby have him come in and be the second one to hold the baby.
You’re being petty and emotional imo. The birth of this child is just as important to both of you. If he’s reaching out and asking to be involved and wants to be a great dad which you said you don’t doubt he will be, then let him start that bond in the delivery room.
Taking the opportunity to experience the birth of his child away from him just bc you aren’t together is the definition of petty and I think you’d be doing your child a huge disservice by creating that kind of resentment around an event you should both get to cherish…together or not.
You’re giving birth, you’re the patient, you’re the one carrying him and going to raise him untimely, I’d try to bring him in as soon after or have him come in when they take the baby for a checkup, bring him in to see them or when they take him away for a minute he can go with him.
He has no right to be in the delivery room. Tell him that he can be at the hospital, but not in the room. You don’t need to consider his feelings for this situation. Labour & giving birth is about the mother.
Giving birth is a very raw, personal and exposing experience. If you’re not together I don’t see why he should be there. He can wait in the waiting room.
Consider what’s right for you.
No one needs to understand your circumstances.
Not a lot of men want to be apart of their baby’s life, he does, let him be in the room and be happy he wants to be in the baby’s world.
Its your choice. If it’s his first child I say let him come with you he should be able to watch his child come into the world to. Unfortunately you 2 will be in each other’s lives from here on out.
Nope he don’t even have to know and you don’t have to put him on the birth certificate. You can go ghost in the hospital so no one will even know you are there.
I had a similar experience. Me and mine broke up when I was 6 months pregnant and he did not care to check on me until it was nearly time to have my daughter. He wanted in the room. I let him bc I did not want my child to later hold it against me. It was a little awkward but it was fine. Let him see what you go through having his child. God bless with whatever decision you choose.
You do what what YOU want to do. It is YOUR pregnancy. If the guy is too much of an arse u can always ask him to leave and have your mom on standby. Good luck mama. Just remember it takes 2 to make the dream work. And a mom is just as important as a dad. Each parent can teach a child different things they need to know. Good luck mom!!!
Your the one pushing an awkward watermelon out of your vagina. You decide who’s in the room as you need someone you can trust to look out for you, keep you safe, keep Bubs safe but, also someone who knows your medical history and someone you trust to make medical decisions if something happens.
Please tell your midwives and let the hospital know as well. Honestly, I would message him that your in labour till after you have given birth and both you and Bubs are safe. That way you can make sure the birth certificate gets filled out correctly and his not going to try anything like change Bubs name or something like that.
Shoot I’m married for 10 years and would choose my mom to be in the room I would let them maybe switch out.?. Take turns
Together or not that’s his child to not your mom’s
Together or not that’s his child to not your mom’s
It’s your delivery. The hospital wants YOU to be comfortable. It’s your call.
I don’t think he should miss the birth of his child if he wants to be apart of their life
I’d just explain that you’ve all ready asked your Mom, and she is going to take the classes with you and you are only allowed one person back there. But he is more than welcome to come sit in the waiting room. And as soon as the baby is born he will be the first one back there. He can’t argue with that. Keep it simple but civil. Good luck !
Although you are giving birth to his child, it’s YOU who will be the patient & if only 1 person allowed I’d choose my mum in these circumstances. Dad can wait outside & switch once baby is here.
He has as much right to be there as you do.
Have him at the hospital not in the room. You need someone to support yyou.he can meet bub after
He has just as much right to be there. You should not keep him from experiencing the birth of y’all’s child just because you aren’t together. How would you feel if the role was reversed?
the delivery has nothing to do with him being a part of the child’s life, those saying he has every right… not true. he can meet his baby once the baby is delivered. the last thing you put on a laboring MOTHER is stress. that can physically affect you and the baby. if something were to go wrong and you need an emergency c section or anything more serious, they don’t let anyone else in the room, not even your plus one. so, do what makes YOU comfortable. no one else in that hospital will give an f about him, because delivery is ONLY about mom and baby. so bring your mom. you need support. not stress.
Labour and birth are some of the most intimate times of a woman’s life. Your body and your emotions are laid bare and it is entirely understandable that you might not want to expose yourself to an ex at this time. You need to do what is best for YOU. If he really cares about his child, then he will understand that you experiencing as little stress as possible is ultimately the best thing all round. Maybe he could be at the hospital (if you are comfortable with that) so that he can see the baby soon after delivery? But he needs to understand that, that is not his right, but rather a privilege that you may be willing to grant him. I hope things go well for you.
Only if you want him to be there
Nope he doesn’t have a right to be there. It’s all up to you.
It’s your very painful, very precious & very worth it day. I’m speaking from experience. YOU’LL NEED all the support you can get and please emphasize on the words support & you cause baby it’s exhausting giving birth. But wonderful so wonderful in fact that you really won’t care about anything but a healthy new born bundle of everything! Sorry I myself miss those days. Mine are 23 & 25 time does fly so please take the time to make it about you and your baby. Allow him there but not in the delivery room. That’s a special place for your special support person and it’s up to you who that is I know you need some one to cater to you that day not stressing you. Let him know where his boundaries are right off to keep down confusion. If he wants to be a dad let him. He should be in his life. Every child should have a father but only as long as he is truly interested in being a real dad not just for show. My son’s dad swore he was going to be a great dad, he walked out he was 15 months old. Came back when my son was 10 years old wanted to be a dad left a few months later my son heard from him on FB he claimed to have cancer and was looking for his son to take care of him. If he wants to be a great dad he will. He will put your child first in his life below Jesus and above his mama thats his sons spot. Remember the lines can get messy in this situation. So setting some clear guidelines between you 2 over child support, visitations and such as soon as possible would be better for everyone. And may help you to give him the opportunity to show he is committed to the child . But I would keep records of all payments and visitation log especially if you suspect he may give issues later plus it’s nice to have it all down it makes it easier if you go to court. Like I said delivery is your domain not his. He can still hold his child. You may even be able to set it up ahead of time for him to be waiting in another sterilized room & they bring him the he baby for a few minutes I had a friend do it that way. He spent about 30 minutes him & 5 of his family members were in the room to hold his son.
The idea is for you to have a calm safe delivery if his presence in the delivery room creates tension that is something you do not need tell your doctor your wishes I had my husband in the delivery room with me because I was having a c-section and I heard stories of doctors dropping the baby I could relax in there knowing he was there it kept me calm but each circumstance is different if it upset you him being in the room tell your doctor you’re not stopping him from being at the hospital just not in the room with you nothing wrong with that
That’s his child just as much as it is yours… Don’t complain about him being a POS dad when you’re already denying him his child.
Whatever you’re comfortable with. It’s your delivery it’s important that you be comfortable
Not if you don’t want him. You need to be able to concentrate on what you are doing. With him there, you won’t be.
If you want him fine… if not he doesn’t need to be there for the birth…. He can be part of the kids life without being at the birth
It’s your decision, not his right to be in there, even the nurses will tell you that. As my pregnancies crept to their end, each time my OB would remind me to choose who to be there, especially when Covid took place. It seems like you may have regrets if he ends up being in the room during the birth so I would tell him no and just have my mom there. It’s your delivery so you get to call the shots. You aren’t denying him his child, you are choosing your support team that will be there for you during you bringing this baby into the world. I could only have one person and of course I chose my husband but I can promise you if we weren’t together, I would’ve chosen my mom, too. The hospital I had my kids at is still only allowing one person for the whole stay so choose wisely. We FaceTimed with our parents after the birth so maybe just FaceTime with him afterwards.
You don’t need him stressing you out, do like in the 60’s Mom’s & Dr goes out to waiting room’s & tells you have a girl or / boy Dad you can go see mother and baby, the rest of you can go to the nursery and look through the glass the nurse will come show you the baby. I didn’t want anyone to see me in pain, had 3 babies and only me & Doctor, Just one person would be my mom, Keep your blood pressure down the best of luck
Yeah like we can miss the birth of our children…
Kinda part of a package deal…
As long as the dad is supportive and cheering you on as you bring your child into this world I wouldn’t see a problem with it…
He did help…
Most mom’s want their mom’s cheering them on and both kid’s dad’s just watched…
Or mine did…
You pretty much want to hurt your husband until the epidural kicks in…
Then you could care less if oompa loompas delivered your baby…
Nope. Nope. Nope. You do not have to have anyone in that room you don’t want to have. Period. Full stop. Period.
It’s his child also and he deserves to be there. It’s a special moment that he will never get back if missed and shouldn’t be denied the opportunity. Talk to him and set up rules and explain them. If he isn’t willing to abide by your wishes in the delivery room then have someone else with you.
Whoever was there for you throughout your pregnancy should be the one you look to in this time of need. If you say the environment your ex was in wasn’t a safe place to raise your child and he hasn’t tried to make it better than in MY Opinion I’d go with your mom cause she probably been there for you this whole time making sure that HER baby is being shown the love she needs to bring another Human into this world.
Let him be there for the Child after delivery but I wouldn’t let him sign nothing because if he wanted to be there for the child he should’ve been the moment you both found out. But like I said that’s MY OPINION.
Keep doing what your doing Momma you know what’s best for you and your child.
Absolutely you do NOT have to have him there during the birth he can visit right after if that’s what you want
If only allowed one person. The father should be a NO! So you have already made the decision for not wanting him anywhere near your personal space. I say stand your ground and have your Mum!
No he don’t have no right to be there if you don’t want him to be .
As the father he does have a right. However its your choice. Just feel lucky that your not in an abusive relationship and at least he wants to be involved
Husband was there for first but not second. He annoyed me and I divorced him a year later. Get your mom.
He’s the father, it’s obvious. I understand you want to stay in your comfort zone and now have him there. Consider the baby it would be better if the dad was there. What’s best for the baby should be the priority…not what issues you have with him or him with you. Just my two cents
My mom was with me, and me and my child’s father were (and still are) together. But, only because one person was allowed with me. We were really young when we had our daughter, so I just kinda knew my mom would be a better support person. But what we did do was FaceTime during birth so he did get to see.
So I guess just explain to him you’d rather have your mom, explain why, and offer to video chat so he can still “be involved “ because as other people mentioned he won’t be able to get that moment back
No one has the ‘right’ to be in your delivery room without your consent.
Absolutely not! No one has the right to be in that delivery room that you do not want to be there. With the exception of the medical professionals. Once you give birth, that’s between the 2 of you, but as far as the delivery process, you have every right to bring a life into the world how ever and with whoever present that you want.
Nope not under those circumstances!!
Despite popular belief it should ultimately be your choice- not because you broke up but because you are going through an extremely intense situation physically and emotionally and you will definitely need support if you believe your mother would be more supportive to you during that time then that’s absolutely your right. I do understand some saying dad has a right to be there for baby and that’s absolutely true however if it really is about baby then he can be there as soon as baby is born but up until then it’s actually about the mother giving birth so in this situation it’s definitely your choice
Despite popular belief it should ultimately be your choice- not because you broke up but because you are going through an extremely intense situation physically and emotionally and you will definitely need support if you believe your mother would be more supportive to you during that time then that’s absolutely your right. I do understand some saying dad has a right to be there for baby and that’s absolutely true however if it really is about baby then he can be there as soon as baby is born but up until then it’s actually about the mother giving birth so in this situation it’s definitely your choice
The baby is his too. He should definitely be there if he wants. If you insist on being it your mother At least let the mother bring the baby to the waiting room for him to hold
That’s rough that you gotta choose…can you only have one person now?
He hasn’t been apart of it for the time you were pregnant yet expects to be in the room just because he is planning to be “a good father” and actually do what he is supposed to do for his child? The answer is simple, you two are not together and he wasn’t apart of the pregnancy so, no he does not “automatically” get to be in the room with you. It will be stressful enough as it is and you should have who you want to be in the room with you, not what he thinks is his “right”.
I mean the baby is his too. He deserves the special moment too. Especially knowing he wants to be apart of the baby’s life. Based on these comments, I just find it funny how men always get the short end of the stick because it’s always about what the woman wants. No hesitation for child support though or financially supporting the baby though .
If I’m not in a relationship with the mother of my child I lost the right to be there for the birth but still have the right to be there after and through the child’s life. So don’t feel bad if he is a decent man like you say he is he should understand and respect or choice
Your delivery your choice, its all about your comfort you have who you want in there, have your mom with you